Severus and Lucia floo'd to Diagon Alley through his office, arriving in the Leaky Cauldron just past 10 am.
Lucia dusted off her coat, noting her surroundings. The pub was rather small, smaller than Lucia imagined, and looked like it hadn't been properly cleaned in years, possibly since its inception. There were a variety of characters about, but most looked like harmless witches and wizards simply grabbing a drink and a cup of soup on a chilly October morning.
Severus lead her behind the Leaky Cauldron to a large black wall where he tapped a brick. She saw the wall open in front of them and gasped to see Diagon Alley in front of her. It wasn't as crowded as she had heard it could be, especially right before the school year started, but there was still a quiet bustle of witches and wizards mulling about, some with very young children.
Lucia looked at Severus and smiled, clearly delighted by the change of scenery. While not nearly the same hustle and bustle of New York, Diagon Alley felt more at home at Hogwarts.
She did enjoy teaching, but she found being so far away from anything to be very isolating. Despite her lack of friends in America, Lucia found herself almost always doing something during the evening after work. She took Fit Witch classes at the local community center, sang karaoke with muggles more than she cared to admit and often found herself going out to eat at some new corner restaurant with Emily. To be in an environment that was difficult to even get out of wasn't her favorite, though she did enjoy teaching. If she made it through the school year without murdering someone, Lucia was reconsidering her position at Hogwarts, though she still liked the idea of living abroad for a few years.
Severus watched Lucia as she walked by the storefronts, clearly enamored with the display at Sugarplum's Sweet Shop.
"Can we go in?" Lucia asked, clasping her hands like an excited child.
Severus looked at her for a moment, trying very hard not to roll his eyes before conceding. He did enjoy seeing her happy, and this place seemed to be doing exactly that.
Lucia walked through the aisles of the sweet stop, trying every sample out and offering Severus one as well. He turned each down, opting instead to stand by the door.
After a solid fifteen minutes, Lucia returned to Severus with a bag full of treats.
"For the first years!" She explained, though he doubted they would ever make it into the classroom.
They resumed their walk the apothecary, which was at the other end of the alley. Severus didn't walk at the pace he normally would, partially because he noticed Lucia kept getting distracted by things and partially because he was enjoying his time with her. Most of their conversation was Lucia making comments about various things, not expecting a reply back from him and Severus was perfectly happy just listening to her ramble on.
Lucia paused in front of Madam Malkin's, examining the dress in the window. It was a royal blue with nude lace inserts across the neckline and waist. Severus immediately thought the color would be lovely on her.
"What kinds of things are worn to the Yule Ball?" Lucia asked.
"Wizards wear traditional dress robes, unfortunately, but witches are free to wear more modern garments, such as this one. Are you thinking of trying it on?" To be honest, Severus wasn't all too excited about going in and watching her try on dresses.
"Oh no, I'll just transfigure one I already own. But it's nice to get ideas." Lucia waved off a thought before turning to him and smiling. "To be honest I'll probably just transfigure my wedding dress. It'll be the easiest thing to change."
Severus thought that it would be unusual to see her in her wedding dress, but let the thought go, leading her into the apothecary.
"Hullo Severus." Called the man behind the counter.
"Hello Quenby, I see business has been doing well." Severus noted the picked over shelves of common ingredients.
"I spose so, though I'll findya anything you need, sir." Quenby replied.
"Just some Valerian root, some Horned Slugs, and the Death's-Head Hawk Moth we discussed over owel." Severus said, watching as Lucia once again explored the aisles.
"I will retrieve that right away for you sir." Quenby said, disappearing into his stockroom.
"I've always been pretty average at potions." Lucia said. "Nothing ever seemed to cooperate. To be honest I was annoyed when Minerva recommended you help with the animagus potion, but, it was probably for the best."
"Yes, it's my understanding that potions tends to be a divisive subject. You are either good at it, or you are dangerously bad at it."
"Oh I'm not sure I ever posed a serious danger to anyone." Lucia said, "But I certainly was what I would call a highly specialized student. I excelled in charms and transfiguration and was just above average in everything except for potions and defense. Fortunately Horned Serpents don't need to be good at everything, just relentlessly pursue knowledge."
"What brought you into the world of education?"
"Mostly I just walked into it. It seemed like a good way to have a general ability to research while not having to necessarily target an interest." Lucia said, absentmindedly picking up a bottle of fireflies. "If I were to be truthful, I'm not sure I'm particularly passionate about anything besides music."
"Why haven't you pursued that?" Severus asked.
"I don't like doing it professionally. It takes the joy from it. Why are you still a professor? You clearly hate it." Lucia let out a laugh.
"I had to be to look after Potter. Now I'm too old to do much of anything else."
"Severus, you are hardly a quarter of the way through your life. Surely there is something else you'd rather do for the rest of it? I did note that there is no potions shop in the alley."
"I would have to work with the public. I can hardly imagine myself being the face of the shop."
"Then have someone else as the face. You know I used to be a shop girl for a bookstore. I would smile and greet people and pretend I cared. I was quite good at it! And when there was no one there I would just sing songs and read books."
"Are you proposing going into business together?" Severus said, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
"I'm just saying that wouldn't it be lovely to have a little shop with a potions laboratory attached where you made the potions and someone else sold them."
"You'd have to learn about potions. A lot more than you learned in school."
Lucia approached him, placing a finger on his chest. "Fortunately, I would have an excellent teacher."
Quenby exited the backroom with a bag of goods. Lucia stepped back from Severus, placing the fireflies back on their shelf and smiled coyly at Severus. Severus couldn't help but flush as he told Quenby to put it on Hogwarts account and the pair left the shop.
Lucia made a comment about feeling hungry and asked if there was anywhere to eat in the alley, besides the Leaky Cauldron which even he had to admit seemed to have less than appetizing offerings. They chose a little cafe next to Twilfitt and Tatting's which boasted about their 'enchanting' shepherd's pies. Lucia immediately ordered one, stating that it was her favorite British food.
Severus was watching her shovel mounds of potatoes and lamb sausage into her mouth with mild fascination and amusement when he noticed a familiar face waving at them from outside the cafe.
"Lucia, if you could please swallow the food you currently have in your mouth, that would be advised." Severus said, waving back at the woman outside.
"Wha?" Lucia looked up at Severus, swallowing the food quickly before following his gaze.
The woman waving at Severus was a picturesque, tall, blonde woman who was impeccably dressed and carrying a Twilfitt and Tatting's bag. She was smiling at Severus as if she knew him well and was fond of him and Lucia immediately felt a twinge of jealousy. The figure came in through the front door, apparently not content with just a friendly wave.
"Hello Severus, how delightful to run into you. I didn't think I'd see you until the Christmas Holidays." The woman stood in front of their table with the same flawless smile across her perfectly painted lips.
"What a surprise Narcissa, I was just taking my colleague shopping for some potions ingredients." Severus said.
Recognition and relief struck Lucia as she realized this was the Narcissa Malfoy they had discussed the night before.
"And you must be Lucia Sometimes, the new Transfigurations professor. There was a clip about your appointment in The Daily Prophet. Quite surprising that McGonagall chose an American to teach. I am Narcissa Malfoy."
Lucia glanced at Severus. There was no point in pretending she was his apprentice. The write up had been short and included a small picture of her, barely big enough for someone to recognize her but Narcissa was a perceptive woman.
"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you." Lucia said, extending her hand. "Would you like to sit down?"
"Oh I would but I have errands to run. I just wanted to chat for a moment." Narcissa said.
"How are Draco and Lucius?" Severus inquired, hoping to steer the subject away from Lucia who was clearly uncomfortable.
"Draco broke up with Pansy and has been insisting on a more… enlightened perspective as of late. I'm sure you understand what I mean." Narcissa explained.
Lucia could only assume Narcissa meant that Draco was straying from the strict pureblood ideology of his youth, but could only assume.
"As for Lucius, well he has been prudently investing. His involvement in the ministry is gone, but fortunately we have been wise with our financial situation and are in no trouble."
"I'm happy to hear that." Severus said.
"What about you Severus?" Narcissa asked. "It seems there are some… developments in your life."
Lucia had to refrain from taking another large bite of food and tried to smile politely.
"Yes, indeed there has been. All good things of course." Severus smiled affectionately at Lucia, reaching for her hand across the table.
It only took Lucia a moment to realize that, without the ruse of her being his apprentice, they had to fall back on being in a relationship. She tried to seem bashful and flattered, which wasn't hard since his hand on hers sent butterflies to her stomach.
"Oh aren't you two darling. Severus I truly am so happy for you." Narcissa paused for a moment as if in thought. "You simply must come over for supper next weekend. Lucius would be so pleased to meet you and Draco as well I'm sure."
Lucia doubted that, but tried not to let it show through her expression. This situation was entirely too convenient.
"I wouldn't want to impose." Severus said, feigning concern.
"Nonsense, I insist." Narcissa waved him off. "Though I would recommend wearing something a bit more… traditional. Something better" She gestured to Lucia's outfit, a blue and orange colorblock sweater, red pants and orange corduroy floor length coat.
Lucia nearly made a snide comment but, as if sensing her indignance, Severus gave her hand a squeeze.
"If it's no trouble, next Saturday would be wonderful. Shall we say 5?" Severus asked.
"That sounds lovely." Narcissa began walking toward the door. "It was nice to meet you Lucia, and lovely to see you Severus. I am truly so happy you are doing well." And with a flourish of expensive robes, Narcissa Malfoy exited back into the alley.
"That was terrifying." Lucia said.
"Narcissa is hardly a terrifying woman." Severus scoffed.
"I have never seen a nail so perfectly manicured." Lucia said, recollecting her fingers which were more like talons. "They are going to hate me." Lucia put her head in her hands.
"Why would they hate you?"
"I'm an uncouth, messy, crude American. She is so fucking British." Lucia said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Narcissa has been a very dear friend of mine for many years. I have not always agreed with her and Lucius on the finer points of morality, but I have always cared for them and their son. They have cared for me as well, offering me assistance even though they knew I'd refuse it and giving me unwavering support. They will like you because you make me happy."
Lucia flushed for a moment, forgetting he was talking about their ruse of a relationship.
"But it probably won't hurt to be on your best behavior." Severus added.
Lucia pretended to be aghast at the insinuation. "Me? A poorly behaved barely tolerable person? Why I am shocked you would imply that."
"You know exactly what I am referring to. This means-"
Lucia cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say "No wine, I am well aware thank you."
"I was going to refer to your insisting to flirt with every living being, but also no wine." Severus said.
"Damnit!" Lucia exclaimed.
Lucia's appetite had dramatically reduced after the encounter and she found herself pushing away her plate of food and asking Severus if they could go back to the castle.
"Of course. Would you prefer to apparate or take the floo network?"
Lucia considered it for a moment. She always found all wizarding transportation methods to be rather pleasant, apparition especially so over long distances and opted for the floo network instead.
They walked back to the Leaky Cauldron and floo'd into Severus' chambers.
"Unfortunately I have a pile of first year papers I have been avoiding." Severus said.
Lucia thought about her own piles of student work that needed reviewing and inwardly groaned. Her procrastination was truly biting her in the ass.
"I suppose I won't bother you anymore." Lucia said, about to leave when she turned back. "You were wrong, you know?"
"What are you referring to?"
"Me flirting with everyone. I don't, at least not anymore. I only flirt with you." Lucia went back in the direction of her own chambers, unwilling to look back at his expression.
Severus had half a mind to go after her, but had to remind himself of the professional distance he had insisted they maintain. It was, admittedly, difficult for him.
He had surprised himself the night before by forgiving her so quickly. Perhaps it was because she held her emotions so readily out for him to see, not bothering to hide how she felt. She didn't always say it, but he was aware of her feelings toward him and even her struggle to not let them develop further. He didn't understand why until last night.
The thought of death would have scared most wizards. 20 years ago he would have insisted she be locked up until a solution was discovered, but he had never expected to live this long. He either expected a swift death during the war by either side or at the hands of a dementor should the war have been won.
When he found himself alive in St. Mungo's hospital not about to be arrested, but instead a hero, Severus began to struggle with intrusive thoughts. He was better off dead. He should have died saving someone rather than be alive. And perhaps most insidiously, he had no purpose at all but to die and that was taken from him. That perspective was slow to change, with only glimpses of purpose flashing before him, primarily when he spoke to Lucia.
He had to admit the young which was perhaps a bit confusing to him at first. She was sharp and vulnerable, had a knack for making him uncomfortable but also exceedingly kind to her students. A few of the upper years had mentioned her being a good listener when they had problems, something he had no problem admitting he was not good at and had no desire to be good at. Beyond that, she was beautiful in her wild way. Even her hair, which admittedly could use a brush most days, was attractive to him. And her eyes. Her eyes betrayed everything. He hardly thought legilimens was necessary whenever he met her gaze.
When he found out that the reason she was so concerned about the nightdress was because of a dream involving her own possession and his incidental murder, Severus immediately examined his memories of her, trying to find some malintent. Perhaps she hated him, as many did despite his Order of Merlin. But he couldn't think of a moment she had been anything besides a bit irksome with him, and usually for good reason, he had to admit.
When she implied opening up a potions shop with him that day, Severus had a flash of what their life could look like. Him in the basement of the shop, brewing potions. Her upstairs, playing piano between customers with the door open so he could listen and occasionally bringing him down tea. They'd floo to their cabin far away from the city and drink wine and firewhiskey in front of a fire while he read a book and she practiced singing. Her infernal cat would sit on his feet. He'd bring her coffee every morning in their bed. He thought for a moment that she would make an excellent mother, all good humor and kindness in contrast to his surly strictness. She'd lecture him for being too mean, but kiss him regardless afterwards. He had imagined them kissing a lot.
He realized this was the first time he had imagined a future that didn't end in death in a very long time, and ironically it was with someone who would possibly kill him.
Severus walked over to his nightstand, opening a drawer and pulling out an old photograph. It was of Lily in their seventh year. She had been written up in the Profit for her excellent charms skills. Her smile was radiant. He liked this picture best because it showed the color of her eyes.
He wondered for a moment if Lily had forgiven him, if he even deserved to be forgiven. He would always love Lily, that he knew. For whatever reason he believed Lucia would not want to change that about him. But Lily never loved him. There was never a future with Lily like there might be with Lucia, before she died and certainly after she had been taken from him.
Severus placed the photograph back in the drawer, closing it and then sitting down on his bed.
Though he had never cared much for his own life, he wanted very much a chance at the future Lucia might hold for him. With that image in his mind, Severus resolved to do everything in his power to save his own life.
Notes:
Hello all.
I wrote this chapter with a fever and am posting it with a fever so I hope it's good but I also think it might not be? Who knows.
To my reviewers:
Guest - Thank you! Your reviews are so consistent and always brighten my day.
Guest - I'm glad you appreciate that there is more to the story than just Lucia and Severus. I find those to be some of my least favorite stories.
I was very inspired upon reading The Potion Master's Wife because that story is so well done. I hoped I could be half as good as that.
I wanted to talk about how Severus was feeling after the war, because I think a lot of writers focus a ton on how he felt about Lily.
I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but I did date someone who was deployed during our relationship and was in combat, and a lot of the thoughts I attribute to Severus were things my ex struggled with. I hope I did it justice and continue to do justice to exactly how hard it is to readjust after trauma. Thank you!