The drive back to Blackthorne was a fast one. I'm pretty sure Solomon was going for a new world record for fastest miles traveled. I managed to snag a spot next to Jacoby and it didn't take him long to fall asleep on my shoulder. I listened to Macey and Bex's conversation for a while before becoming so utterly bored that I woke up Jacoby just to have someone to talk to.
"Hey, entertain me." I said shaking my shoulder to wake him up.
He completely ignored me and pulled my head down onto his lap.
"Shhhh, go to sleep." He whispered.
"I'm not tired." I argued.
"Shhhh." He said falling asleep once more.
I knew I was dreaming the second I saw Mark.
"Hey there squirt, how's it hanging?" He asked as we made our way to the arena.
"Just taking it one step at a time Kujo, just like everyone else." I teased with a grin.
We heard the alarm go off and looked at each other in terror before sprinting the rest of the way to the arena. We hurried to our place in line and exhaled in relief when we saw that our instructor wasn't there yet. As soon as he appeared we hurried to wrap our hands and made our way into the ring.
I remembered this day well. It was the first day after Bex left. The first day I was seriously punished.
We were paired up and of course I was with Jacoby. We made our way through the motions. We practiced the moves we were taught and stayed silent except for small grunts when punched in the gut. Suddenly Jacoby decided that he was bored and he was going to switch up the routine a bit. He waited until the instructor was looking and instead of punching me he tickled me.
I instinctively laughed but my smile dropped quickly when the instructor whirled around with a murderous glare on his face. Quickly Jacoby and I went back to the exercises and the instructor didn't say anything. Jacoby and I let out a sigh of relief.
A few minutes later we switched partners and I began working with Jay. Sparing with Jay was too easy, he didn't have as much previous training as I did. He knew this and resented me for it. I wasn't even trying and I was pummeling him.
The day passed quickly and it wasn't long before we were excused to the showers. I was the only girl left in the program at this point and I loved having the locker room to myself but I missed the chatter of my friends.
I showered swiftly and was on my way to change when I heard someone coming towards me. I assumed it was one of the instructors but I was very very wrong.
Jay came around a row of lockers with a small pipe in hand. He gave me no chance to defend myself as he began beating me with the pipe. I screamed and fought him off the best I could in my towel. It wasn't long before someone came to my rescue but imagine my surprise when I was told I was requested in the General's office as well. I was given time to change into uniform, shorts and sports bra seeing as I was female, before I was ushered to meet with the General.
"So Miss Morgan. Do you know why I called you here?" He asked.
"No sir." I replied quickly, eyes on the floor.
"Come now Miss Morgan surely you have some idea." He chuckled.
"No sir." I replied once more.
"You're telling me that you're so idiotic that you don't even know that I called here to beat your incompetence out of you." He gripped my chin and threw me to the ground before kicking my thigh. He knew how to hurt me so it wouldn't cause permanent damage but it would cause serious pain.
"Come now cadet, you are twice as strong as that weakling yet you let him beat you to the GROUND. You're an embarrassment. I should kill you for your weakness." He finished hitting me and spit on my broken figure. "Unfortunately you're a female meaning I have to let you live. Don't disappoint me again."
I tried to yell at my past self to stop her as she jumped to her feet and lunged for the General and was caught by the throat. I knew what came next, I didn't want to watch. The General squeezed and squeezed until I had almost blacked out from pain and lack of oxygen. He let me go just before I passed out.
"Get out of my sight." I stood and turned to go but he stopped me and grabbed me by the sports bra, pulling me close. He pushed me against the wall and got extremely close to my face. "Impress me, Cameron. If you want to survive, you'll impress me."
The second he let go of me, I ran from the room and made my way to the bunks. I stumbled down the familiar hallways blindly, going on autopilot. I jumped at least a foot in the air when Jacoby grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks.
"Cam...what happened to you? Are you okay?" He asked. I couldn't respond. He could see that. He began to pull me towards our alcove. I heard the General's right hand man following us and I frantically tried to stop Jacoby.
"Cam, Cam, it's okay. Calm down. Cam!" Jacoby frantically tried to calm me.
"Jacoby, no, no, he's coming, he's right there!" I suddenly noticed Jacoby's shirt. "Jacoby, what are you doing? You're out of uniform! He's going to hurt you Jacoby please, he's right there and the General is already mad, please Jacoby."
"Okay, okay Cam." Jacoby pulled off his shirt and held up his hands in surrender. I suddenly noticed my shirt. "Better? It's okay he can't get to you."
I ripped off my shirt and let my hair down from whatever was restricting it.
"He's so mad, Jacoby, he's really mad." I sobbed as he pulled me close to his chest.
"Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that, breathe Cam." He whispered.
Jacoby took deep breaths and I copied them and began to calm down finally. Jacoby rubbed my back in circular patterns up and down my back. As always Jacoby knew exactly what I needed to feel better. I felt someone throw a blanket over Jacoby and I and I was suddenly jerked back to reality.
We were back at Blackthorne in the common room. I looked up to see the Gallagher girls and their Blackthorne boys watching us curiously. It must've been horrible to watch if you've never seen one before. I looked to my left and saw Bex and Grant sitting there looking helpless. Nick was holding Macey who looked like she was going to cry and Liz actually was crying with Jonas trying to calm her. The worst was Zach.
The look on his face was a mixture of intense hatred and pain combined with a look I don't think I've seen on Zach's face before. Fear. He looked like he wanted to run to me but was afraid to. I didn't want him to see me like this. I turned my face back into Jacoby's chest.
"How bad was it?" I asked Jacoby.
"Not so bad. Like...a four." He replied as he ran his fingers through my hair.
"Oh good." I sighed as I relaxed into him once more. "Sorry for freaking out on you."
"Don't worry about it. It's not like I've never freaked out on you before. What was it this time?" He asked as if we were alone. I decided to pretend along with him.
"The day with Jay." I whispered. That's all he needed to hear.
"Ah. That was a bad one." He replied.
"Wasn't the worst." I reminded him.
"True." He agreed. He remembered the worst.
"What was the worst?" Tina asked quietly, afraid.
"None of your business." We snapped in unison.
Instinctively I gripped Jacoby tighter and his hand found my brand. I absentmindedly traced his. Our brands matched. Both on our left hips. Both received the same time. Both would be with us forever. We were a part of each other after that night. I couldn't be without Jacoby and I didn't want to.
"Cam...are you okay?" Bex asked. I made eye contact with her and let my eyes do the talking.
"Do you need anything Cam?" Grant asked.
"Just Jacoby." I replied as I felt Jacoby's grip tighten on me. I refused to look at Zach.
"Do you want us to leave you alone?" Macey asked.
"No, it's okay. She'll be okay now." Jacoby answered.
The silence that ensued choked me. I knew that everyone had questions that they didn't know how to ask and I wouldn't know how to answer. My sisters desperately tried to catch my eye, to somehow give me comfort in a way we all knew couldn't happen.
Macey, bless her soul, began a sort of quiet conversation with Liz over the homework assignment she was struggling with. Bex began a whispered conversation with Grant, I couldn't hear what they were talking about but I could guess. I didn't want to know what they said.
Slowly, the other girls began to talk, all carefully avoiding the subject of Jacoby and I. The moment the first giggle broke out, it was if the wall of awkward had finally crumbled and the conversations reached a normal volume.
Girls were teased, boys were gently smacked on the arm. Flirting and friendship surrounded me and I finally allowed myself to fully relax.
"So, mon nounours, how are your parents? How's school?" I asked Jacoby, trying to focus on something else.
"All is well actually," He went on describe how his parents handled his PTSD and how his little sister was scared of him for a long time but she was less frightened of him now that he was doing better. "Jessica's actually got a boyfriend now. He's a sweet kid, real jokester. He's good for her I think. My dad on the other hand, completely disagrees."
"Ah, he's just being protective of her." I said with a smile.
"Do you ever wonder what your dad would be like if he was still around?" Jacoby asked.
"Not really. I think I know what he would be like. Like your dad I guess, protective. Always joking. He always managed to find a way to smile even after the hardest missions."
"He sounds like a great guy." Jacoby said with a smile.
"Yeah he was." I grinned back at him.
It wasn't long before dinner time had come, Solomon appeared briefly to tell us that Jacoby had obtained special permission to reside at blackthorne for a couple of weeks if his parents would give their consent. He would attend classes with me and the rest of the girls and would take an empty bed in some old janitor's room. I think Solomon knew more than he was letting on. I think he knew how important it was for me to have Jacoby there.
Solomon also informed me that I would begin attending counseling for what had happened with the bulldozers and if anything else happened to come up while I was attending my therapy sessions I could get help for that too. I decided Solomon must have bugged the common room.
Dinner was the same as always. Stares, conversations about us, and then eventually everyone moved on with their lives. We ran back to our room as soon as we could. The boys crowded around us as we pulled out decks of cards and started a game of poker. I bowed out gracefully a few hands in and relaxed into Jacoby as they all continued.
Another nightmare hit. This one was worse. Images flashed through my head almost faster than I could process them. Hands were on me, not kind hands either. Dozens of fighters set upon me. Bruises long faded seemed to reappear. Old injuries re-inflicted. I felt my throat begin to close up. I couldn't breathe. I grappled wildly for help and there were dozens of hands suddenly shaking to wake me up.
I sat up quickly and gasped for air, reaching for Jacoby, Bex, Liz, Macey, someone who could help.
As I struggled to catch my breath, the world continued around me.
"I HATE THIS!" Grant jumped to his feet.
"Grant, calm down." Bex tried to soothe him.
"No, I can't. No matter what I do, I can't seem to calm down. There's so much going wrong and nothing I can do about it. There's not one single thing. I find out I have a sister and I have all these ideas of being able to protect her and take care of her like no one ever bothered to do with me and she's in trouble and she's in so much pain and there's not a single thing I can do about it. I'm trying Cam, I'm trying to take care of you and make you feel better and help you but…"
"It's not your fault Grant. It's all going to be okay, I just need someone to stand by my side no matter what. I just need a friend." I told him softly, climbing out of Jacoby's arms.
"I can do that." He whispered as I wrapped him in a hug.
We held each other for a while. It felt good. It felt right, like I had found my other half and I guess in a way, I had. I could've stayed like that all day but we simultaneously remembered that we weren't alone in the room and that Grant had just spilled our secret to half of our grade.