Olivia lay her head back and smiled as she let the warm water infuse into her body and soak away her cares, then she laughed softly as Barba stroked his hand down one of her legs and then lifted it onto his shoulder. She could see his face in her mind, sitting opposite her in the bath...then she wiggled her foot a little, catching one of his ears teasingly with her toe as she felt the razor slide smoothly over her skin.
"This is nice," she observed contently, "...it usually feels like more of a chore."
"I'm happy to volunteer my services at any time in the future," Barba offered generously, "...stroking my hands down your legs might be one of my new favorite pastimes."
"I'll remember that," she said happily and relaxed a little deeper into the tub as Barba continued his assignment. She felt him slowly and methodically shave one leg before slipping it carefully back under the water and stroking over her smooth skin. Then he lifted up the other leg and continued.
"You know, you didn't have to do this on my account," he observed softly and then she felt him press his lips just above her ankle.
"Well, I'm not doing anything," she retorted with a smile, "…and I think I like being pampered by you, it's certainly better than any day spa."
Barba chuckled softly as he finished the other leg and then made Olivia jump a little when he slid his tongue along the inside of her calf.
"Barba!" She gasped and laughed, but didn't even attempt to move her leg.
"So it's Barba again now?" He teased.
"Only when you're been infuriating," she smiled and breathed out slowly, settling down again and allowing him to slip her leg back under the water. "Besides…Barba, Rafael, Rafa…what does it matter? They all add up to the same thing now. You. Rafael Barba. Mine."
Barba laughed softly and was genuinely surprised to feel tears well in his eyes. "I never knew that you had such a possessive streak, Lieutenant Benson," he teased weakly.
Olivia laughed, "I guess that I finally have a couple of things worth holding on to," she acknowledged with a hint of sadness slipping into her smile, "…my family…" she curved her hand around his knee slowly, "…it's a little terrifying, you know? Letting myself need something and accepting that I could lose it."
"You won't lose anything, Liv," Barba assured a little more sharply than he intended, "…I'm not going anywhere, and neither is Noah. Please, allow yourself to have faith in that."
"I was always surprised by how easy I found it to have faith in you," Olivia reassured and then sat up a little, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around one of his knees, pulling him close, "...it's life that tends to fuck me over."
Barba laughed a little sadly and nodded, then leaned forward and slipped his hands into hers. He stood and carefully pulled Olivia to her feet, then just when he was about to step out of the bath she sensed his movement and pulled him back towards her, wrapping her arms over his shoulders and snuggling her face into the crook of his neck. "I love you," she whispered softly.
"Ditto," Barba replied and then pressed his lips to hers before guiding her out onto the floor. "Shall we have an early night? It's been a long day..."
Olivia smiled and nodded, "That sounds perfect."
Barba had slowly and thoroughly dried Olivia's body, in spite of her amused insistence that she was more than capable of using a towel. Then they had climbed into bed and interlocked under the sheets, tracing each other's skin aimlessly for several minutes before Olivia had finally drifted off to sleep with his lips pressed affectionately against her neck.
A while later, Olivia woke and reached out to find herself alone in bed. She felt sure that it was still dark and couldn't hear movement in the bathroom, so she carefully slipped out of bed and found her way down the now-familiar route toward Noah's bedroom.
She slowed when she heard a quiet conversation and then stopped outside the room.
"…You never have to be afraid of that, Noah," Barba whispered softly, "…shall I let you into a secret?"
There was silence, during which Olivia assumed Noah had nodded because soon Barba continued.
"I love your mommy very much, and I want her eyes to get better more than anything else in the world…but I'm not worried, because your mommy is the strongest person that I have ever met. I am absolutely certain that everything will be okay…because your mommy is a superhero and superheroes always win in the end, don't they?"
Olivia smiled and leaned her head against the wall, listening to her lover talking to her son and feeling that finally, in spite of everything, life seemed to be turning in her favor.
"Really, Uncle Rafa?" Noah asked with a smile that Olivia could almost see.
"Absolutely," Barba assured firmly, "…your mommy is my hero, my best friend and the bravest person that I know. You never need to be afraid, Noah."
"I love when you're here with us, Uncle Rafa," Noah said genuinely and Olivia could hear that any worry and tension had left her son's voice, "…we feel like family."
"And I love being here with you," Barba replied softly. "Now do you think you can sleep again? Would you like a story? I could read to you until you go to sleep…?"
"Sometimes when I have bad dreams Mommy sings to me," Noah told Barba expectantly.
Olivia smiled with amusement, she was sure Barba wasn't about to run with that plan, but then she heard the sound of Noah's bedside light being switched off.
"Okay, I can do that. Now lie down and close your eyes, I'll be right here with you until you go to sleep, okay?" Barba whispered softly and Olivia bit her lip at the serge of emotion through her body.
"Goodnight, Uncle Rafa," she Noah reply sleepily.
Then she held her breath when she heard Barba start to sing softly. She recognised the song, but wasn't sure where it was from…
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you
No sir, not while I'm around
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling, I don't care, I've got ways
No one's gonna hurt you
No one's gonna dare
Others can desert you
Not to worry, whistle I'll be there
Demons'll charm you with a smile for a while
But in time
Nothing can harm you, not while I'm around…
Olivia was so taken aback by the beautiful song that she didn't even register it was over until she suddenly felt Barba's warm hands come to rest on her hips.
"Hey, Liv, are you okay? Did we wake you?" Barba asked softly and encouraged her into his arms.
Olivia shook her head immediately but then buried her face against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him fiercely.
"Hey, hey…are you crying? What's wrong, mi amor?" Barba said with concern as he encircled her into his tight embrace and then pressed his lips to the side of her throat.
Olivia laughed a little and shook her head, "I…I heard you singing to Noah. It was beautiful, Rafael…you were…" she paused and then concluded simply, "…I love you, Rafael Barba."
Barba held her firmly and Olivia acknowledged silently for the first time that she had never let her guard down completely and allowed herself to feel as safe as she felt in his arms, not for one moment in her life.
"Let's go back to bed," Barba whispered softly and began to walk them towards her bedroom.
The next four weeks went by relatively uneventfully.
Olivia had sat down with Noah one evening while Barba cooked dinner, she had explained to him who Sheila was and that as long as he was happy they would be spending some time together over the next few months. Noah seemed content enough with the idea and was ultimately intrigued to meet his new grandmother, especially when he realised that either Uncle Fin, Uncle Carisi or Auntie Amanda would be coming along to hang out with them.
So every Saturday morning Sheila Porter started to meet Noah from his home and take him out - the first week they went to the park and met some penguins, the following week they went for burgers and milkshakes, and then last week Grandma Sheila had taken Noah to the movies. It was all going really smoothly and both Olivia and Barba were relieved to see that Noah seemed happy and relaxed about the whole process.
Olivia's sight had continued to show improvement - she could now make out shapes and was able to navigate easily around her home. This meant that on the Saturday morning of Sheila Porter's fourth visit Olivia had insisted that Barba should go and spend the morning in work. He'd been starting to return for half days on Thursday, Friday and Saturday for the past week and a half and both were becoming increasingly comfortable with her being left alone…even though neither had even attempted to introduce the idea of him moving back to his own apartment. In fact, most of his things were now happily settled into 'their' bedroom and Noah had long stopped worrying about his Uncle Rafa leaving.
An hour after Barba had left for work, Noah was helping his mommy to make some sandwiches when they heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get it!" Noah said excitedly.
"Oh, no," Olivia said quickly, "…Mommy can do that now and you are too young to be opening the door to strangers."
"Maybe it's Uncle Fin!" Noah protested, "…or even Uncle Rafa!"
Olivia laughed lightly and leaned to kiss his head as she walked behind and slowly made her way towards the door. "You know that Uncle Fin is never early…and Uncle Rafa has his own keys…"
Noah rolled his eyes a little but remained seated as he watched his mommy walk towards the door while he carefully attempted to wrap the sandwich ready for his trip to the Natural History Museum. "Mommy, will there be dinosaurs?" Noah asked, sticking his tongue out a little while he concentrated on his wrap.
"You can be sure there will be!" Sheila said enthusiastically as she walked through with Olivia.
"Grandma Sheila! You're early!" Noah responded excitedly, jumping down from his seat and running over to give the lady a hug.
"Hey, baby boy," Sheila said as she dropped down and returned his embrace. "You almost ready to go?"
"Sure am, Grandma Sheila!" Noah said happily nodding back at his lunch, "…but Uncle Fin is never early," he quoted his mommy very solemnly and Olivia smiled at him with affection.
"How about you go to brush your teeth and then pack your backpack?" Olivia suggested. "Don't forget to pack a sweater in case it gets cold."
"Sure, mommy!" Noah agreed excitedly and rushed off towards his bedroom.
"He's quite a fastidious packer so we might be waiting a while, can I get you a coffee?" Olivia smiled at Sheila and walked towards the pot.
"Are you okay doing that…?" Sheila started to ask.
"My sight hasn't returned yet, but I can see well enough to move around," Olivia explained with a smile and poured them both a cup of steaming hot coffee. She walked around the table, sat on a seat near to Sheila and passed her a drink.
"Thank you," Sheila said politely.
"Noah has been really enjoying your time together," Olivia observed with a warm smile.
"So have I," Sheila nodded and sipped her coffee, "…but the trips to child services, not so much."
Olivia nodded empathetically, "It wasn't a straight road for me either, a single woman with a demanding and dangerous job - but I jumped through every hoop they placed in front of me. We need to do this properly, Sheila, and Noah is worth all the trouble."
Then Olivia was heartened by the affection that she could hear in Sheila's voice when she readily agreed, "He sure is." There were a few moments of comfortable silence before she added, "Is your guard dog at work again today?"
"My guard dog?" Olivia laughed.
"Rafael, he's certainly protective…of you and Noah…" Sheila observed.
Olivia smiled, "We've had a tough few weeks, he worries about us."
"We all want what is best for Noah, Olivia," Sheila answer distractedly and glanced towards Noah's bedroom. "So Rafael is out?"
Olivia nodded as she drank her coffee. "I know that Rafael has been in 'lawyer mode' with you recently, but he really is a wonderful man…he adores Noah."
"And his mother…" Sheila added.
"True," Olivia replied with a hint of pride in her smile. "How are you doing for coffee? Can I get you another cup?"
"Maybe a top-up," Sheila held out her cup and watched as Olivia walked over to the pot.
"You know Fin is going to be a while, maybe I could call and ask him to meet you there?" Olivia suggested thoughtfully as she turned towards her guest. "Can I ask what time it is?"
Sheila looked up at the clock, "A little before 10."
Olivia nodded and felt along the counter for her phone, "I…if you can help me I could ring Fin…?"
Suddenly there was a noise from the doorway and a clatter as the door closed and something was dropped to the floor.
"Just me, Liv!" Barba called through from the hallway. "I've brought some work home, I decided that I prefer the company here…"
Olivia sensed some sudden movement, then felt a burning splash across her face followed by a loud thud and a groan.
"What? What just happened? Rafael? Sheila?" Olivia swiped her hands over the burning hot coffee dripping down her face and then carefully made her way along the kitchen counter. She blinked and could see the movement of two indistinct forms near the entrance to the hallway.
"I'm going to need you to remain extremely quiet, Olivia," Sheila said calmly, "…we wouldn't want to scare Noah."
"Rafael?!" Olivia gasped out and reached towards them.
"Liv, stay back! I'm okay…" Barba assured a little breathlessly as he ran his hand over the back of his head and then closed his eyes woozily.
"I need you both to stay calm…" Sheila glanced over at Noah's bedroom door with obvious panic, this was never the plan - the gun was only meant to be for extra security. She looked back toward Barba as she held her gun steadily at his head. "Now, Olivia, I have a gun to your boyfriend's head. I don't want to scare Noah so I'm going to slip the weapon into my pocket…but I need you to remember where this gun is pointing."
"Please don't…" Olivia gasped and reached towards them in reflex.
"When Noah comes out you are going to pretend that everything is just fine, then Noah and I are going to walk out of here together," Sheila explained a little more confidently.
"Like hell you are!" Barba growled, "You might as well shoot me right now…"
"Rafael, quiet!" Olivia scolded angrily, he didn't need to be opening his mouth and winding up Sheila.
"Liv, don't worry about me, I…" Barba started to argue.
"Sheila isn't interested in hurting Noah," Olivia snapped at him sharply, panic whirling through her mind as she tried to work through a plan.
Suddenly the door opened and Noah ran through with his bag in one hand and Eddie in the other, "Mommy can I take Eddie…?" He paused when he saw Barba sitting on the floor near the hall and looked confused. "Uncle Rafa! You're home! That's a funny place to sit! Are you tired from work? Do you need a hug?" He ran over and jumped into Barba's lap, wrapping his arms around his friend's neck and closing his eyes.
"I'm okay, Mijo," Barba said nervously and glanced up at Sheila, "…I just needed a sit-down."
Noah nodded and moved to sit on the ADAs lap, playing with his tie, "Now you're home maybe you could come with us to see the dinosaurs? Eddie can come too. Uncle Rafa, do you think elephants and dinosaurs were friends?"
Barba kept his eyes on Sheila cautiously and lifted his hand, nodding to Noah and signalling that he just wanted to put his arm around the child.
Sheila nodded but frowned at the exchange, she'd rarely seen the two interact and hadn't realised how close they clearly were. She watched Barba wrap his arm around her grandson and then shifted her hand on her unfamiliar weapon.
"We're going to leave in a minute, Noah, we're meeting Uncle Fin at the museum," Sheila explained, glancing between Olivia and Barba nervously.
"Can Uncle Rafa come with us?" Noah asked. "He seems a little sad and maybe the dinosaurs might make him feel a little better…"
"These trips are just for us, Noah, to give us a chance to get to know each other…I'm sure that Mr Barba will be just fine here with your mommy," Sheila negotiated.
Noah frowned a little and nodded thoughtfully, but then he turned, looked up at Barba and gasped. He moved up onto his knees and reached out to a trickle of blood near Barba's ear, "Uncle Rafa, you have a boo-boo!" He exclaimed with wide eyes.
"I just knocked my head a little," Barba said quickly and glanced up at Olivia, who looked as panicked as he felt, "...it's nothing."
"Mommy, Uncle Rafa is bleeding blood! He has blood on his face…." He looked back at his mommy with tears in his eyes.
"Everything is just fine, Noah," Olivia attempted to calm him, but then was frustrated with herself when she could hear her voice shaking.
"I think it's time for us to leave, Noah," Sheila held out her hand but Noah didn't move from Barba's lap.
"I don't want to leave, Grandma Sheila, I think Uncle Rafa is poorly..." Noah frowned at Sheila thoughtfully - he was starting to realise that she wasn't as worried about his Uncle Rafa as a nice person should be and suddenly felt a little unsure. He edged back away from her and a little closer to Barba.
"Mr Barba is fine, Noah, come with Grandma Sheila now…" Sheila said a little sharply and went to grab his hand.
"No!" Noah screamed and gripped onto Barba's arm.
"It's time to do as you're told, Noah," Sheila tried again.
"Mommy, I don't want to go with Grandma Sheila today," Noah looked over at Olivia plaintively.
"You can't make him leave with you, Sheila," Olivia said calmly, "…just walk away."
"Remember what I told you…" Sheila warned and moved the hand in her pocket.
"Please, Sheila…" Olivia asked, desperation filtering into her voice.
"Mommy…?" Noah asked tearfully from the floor, he could see now that his mommy was scared and he didn't like this at all.
Barba moved cautiously so that he was in-between Noah and his grandmother, it seemed obvious that she didn't want to hurt the boy but he was unsure how familiar she was with handling a weapon and was terrified that a standoff could lead to an accident.
His uncle's protective instinct seemed to trigger something in Noah's young mind and he sobbed a little, "Grandma Sheila? Did you hurt my Uncle Rafa?"
Sheila turned quickly to look at Noah, "That man is not your uncle, Noah!"
"Uncle Rafa?" Noah asked tearfully and wrapped his arms around the man's neck.
"Just walk towards mommy, Noah," Barba said calmly, "…I promise we're all going to be just fine."
Olivia could see the moving shadows of Barba and Noah on the floor and Sheila nearby, but not enough to clearly understand what was happening.
"No!" Noah cried.
"Baby, come to me," Olivia reached out her hand towards her son.
"No!" Noah repeated. He looked up at Sheila tearfully and rested his hand on Barba's chest. "Leave my Uncle Rafa alone!"
"Noah, sweetheart," Olivia hissed desperately, "…I need you to come to me, mommy can't see you…"
"Mommy, why would Grandma Sheila hurt Uncle Rafa?" Noah sobbed as he scrambled onto Barba's lap without warning and wrapped his arms around his neck fiercely.
Sheila looked over at Olivia, who was stood with her palms up and a panicked expression on her face. "Please, Sheila, Noah loves Rafael…surely you can see that if you hurt him you are never going to be able to rebuild your relationship."
Feeling like she was losing control of the situation, Sheila took the gun out of her pocket and watched Noah's eyes widen, he recognised what a gun was and he knew that they were bad.
"Your mommy and Mr Barba are trying to keep us apart, baby boy," Sheila tried to explain. "I'm your Grandmother, you're all I have left, but they…" she paused and shook her head with frustration, "…just come to me Noah, I promise we'll be okay. I won't hurt Mr Barba, just come over here to me…"
Noah looked at Barba and bit his lip, "Uncle Rafa?"
"Go to mommy, Mijo, you don't have to go anywhere with this lady," Barba reassured.
"But, Uncle Rafa…" Noah looked up at Sheila with wide tearful eyes.
"Mr Barba is not your uncle!" Sheila snapped at him and Noah recoiled, "…and he is certainly not your father!"
"Mommy!" Noah cried out but reached back to his Uncle Rafa again. "Uncle Rafa…he cooks my dinner, he puts me to bed and takes me to school, he…he…reads me stories and sings me to sleep when I have a nightmare, just like mommy…he…he…"
Sheila looked over at Olivia and felt the situation spinning further out of her control. She had seen the bond between Olivia Benson and her lover and had calculated that if necessary she could use that to her advantage, but she hadn't realised the extent of her grandson's relationship with the man and this was beginning to derail her plan.
"Noah, with me!" Sheila barked a little sharply and held out her hand again, directing with the gun.
"There's no way in hell that Noah is leaving with you!" Barba growled as he twisted away, pulling Noah forcefully behind his back.
Sheila held up the gun to Barba's head and gritted her teeth, "Let the boy come to me."
"No chance!" Barba growled.
"Please, Sheila, this is crazy!" Olivia pleaded and stepped closer to Barba and Noah.
"Stay where you are!" Sheila shouted, waving the gun at Olivia briefly and then back at Barba. "Noah, you can go to your mommy…" She tried to negotiate, wanting her grandson out of the line of fire.
"You'll hurt my Uncle Rafa!" Noah sobbed but didn't move, "...Grandma Sheila, please don't hurt my daddy!"
The room went silent.
Sheila froze in place, her head buzzing.
Olivia's heart just about exploded in her chest with a mixture of love and terror.
Barba fought to hold Noah behind him even as the little boy tried to move in front to shield him - it seemed that as young as he was Noah already had the Benson instinct to protect, especially those he loved.
"GUN!" A shout came unexpectedly from behind them and they all turned to see Fin and Carisi standing in the doorway with their guns trained on Sheila Porter.
Sheila froze in horror at the sight of the two detectives; she looked at Barba and Noah on the floor and then over at Olivia.
"Sheila..." Olivia started to negotiate more calmly now that she had backup, "...put down the gun. This is not going to end well for you today. I know that you love Noah, but we are creating something here, a family...and I don't believe that you want Noah's lasting memory of you to be watching you hurt someone that he loves."
Sheila looked down at Noah, who looked up at her with terror in his eyes. "Noah?" Sheila asked with a shaky voice.
Noah didn't speak, he just leaned into Barba as the ADA wrapped his arms around him.
"Noah, I didn't want to hurt you, baby, or your Uncle Rafael. I just wanted...you're all I have...I wanted you with me..." Sheila tried to explain.
Noah was confused and watched apprehensively as Sheila slowly lowered the gun.
"Sheila, I'm going to need you to put the safety on that thing and place it on the floor..." Fin instructed calmly.
Sheila slowly did as directed, her eyes not leaving Noah.
"Right..." Fin moved into action and quickly put some cuffs on Sheila while Carisi covered from behind. Then he looked at his friends, "How are you guys? Do we need a bus?"
"We're good..." Barba said quickly, trying to stand but then closing his eyes when he felt a little sick.
"Rafael has had a little bang to the head," Olivia said tactfully as she moved down next to him and ran her hand up the side of his neck affectionately, she glanced at Noah to let Fin know that she was minimising his injuries, "...we need to get him checked out."
"I'm fine," Barba assured.
"You're getting checked out properly, mi amor..." Olivia said softly, then Fin and Carisi exchanged a smile over their heads, "...we know better than most how important that is after a knock to the head."
"Is Uncle Rafa poorly?" Noah asked tearfully.
"He's fine, sweet boy, I promise...but Uncle Rafa is too precious for us to take risks," Olivia explained, "...you know, like when I take you to the doctors for a check-up even when you feel well?"
Noah smiled a little now but then looked up at Sheila with a frown as she was being walked out of the room.
"Why did Grandma Sheila want to hurt Uncle Rafa?" Noah asked sadly.
"I don't think she did, Noah...not really," Olivia said softly. "I think Grandma Sheila is a little poorly, and her head got woozy...then she got confused and did something very naughty."
"Grandma Sheila won't be around for a while, Noah," Barba said softly and glanced up at Sheila, who looked shocked that they were being so gracious, "...but maybe one day, when she's feeling all better, you might see her again."
Noah frowned thoughtfully, "When I'm a lot older?"
Barba and Olivia nodded.
"Maybe..." Noah said and looked up at Sheila as she disappeared around the corner with tears in her eyes, "...but only if you are with me...and only if she says sorry to Uncle Rafa for hurting his head."
TBC...