Today is the day, Lovino had to take one of his klonopin (which he was prescribed for emergencies like this). Trying hard to relax as we wait to arrive at the hospital. I'm so nervous and happy for him.
It's our consultation with the surgeon. To see if he'll be the one to perform it, and what options we have for it. His grip on my hand would hurt if we were mortal. I rub my thumb against the back of his hand gently, he gives mine a squeeze. Gods I love him.
I'm the happiest I've ever been, and lords help me- he's so sexy. When he gets shy it makes me want to show him how amazing and manly his body is. It's perfectly imperfect, I don't want a Ken doll, I want my man. But I don't mind waiting for him to be ready. I want him to be comfortable.
I know he is self conscious though, I know what that part feels like. I still need to tell him, maybe I will after his consultation. Gynecomastia is nothing to be ashamed of, and it's not like he wouldn't be understanding. I just, I get nervous. What if he thinks I'm gross for it? What if he gets mad I didn't tell him sooner?
I hold his hand as we walk into the surgeons office; we both wait with baited breath. When the surgeon finally comes into our room we both let ourselves relax.
Dr. Anand is beautiful, she has medium long silky black hair and navy blue scrubs. Her skin is the color of sand at sunset, a beautiful red-brown. Her smile itself relaxes you.
"Hello." Her tone is friendly, warm at an alto pitch.
"Hi." we both say at the same time.
"I'm Dr. Anand, and I'll be your surgeon. Nice to meet you." she says cordially.
"This is Lovino, your patient." I say, letting go of his hand and stepping away.
He smiles tightly, "Hi."
Her eyes brighten, "Hello, would you like to talk privately or is he free to listen?" she asks.
"He's fine." Lovino clarifies.
"He set this up for me."
"Oh, I see." she smiles.
"Mr. Vargas, I see that you are setting up for a bilateral mastectomy, is this correct?" She squints to read the paper.
"Yes, that's correct ma'am." he replies calmly.
"Do you mind if I have a look? We won't do anything advanced today but I can tell you if you'd be better suited to a less invasive surgery." She is polite and respectful.
Lovino shifts uncomfortably, "Would that help much?"
She seems to notice, "If you're uncomfortable, we don't-"
He cuts her off, "No it's fine, just.."
He pulls his sweater off.
My brain zones out for a minute, he's so beautiful, he has a small dark rabbit trail at his navel. And his chest seems perky for how he binds all the time.
I swallow and look at his face, he's definitely nervous.
I see the doctor study his chest for a moment, "Do you have any rib damage?" she asks.
"I bruised them about a month ago but they are healed now." Vino tells her.
"Try to be easy on them, because damage can prevent surgery. You can put your shirt back on." She waits for him to get settled again.
"Due to your size, I'm afraid the surgery will require a double mastectomy. Perri could work but it would leave too much leftover tissue." She tells us.
"I thought so." he says with a sigh.
"I'm going to set up a lab appointment for you to get the process started okay?" she says, pulling out her schedule.
"Okay." we say.
Hope y'all enjoyed, figured I should update.
He jumps up and hugs me when she leaves the room.