"Stay there, if I sense any movement, I'm going to shoot you and I don't care if you die" Jade threatened and started walking to the back door carefully. They didn't know what to do, they wanted to help her, but they couldn't risk their lives, she was clearly unstable, and they knew she'd pull the trigger if she felt overwhelmed.
Jade left the house and they all looked took a breath in relaxation and concern at the same time they felt safe, but they also wanted her to be safe and she currently wasn't, in fact she'd never been in more danger before. They didn't have to protect her from people or external danger, they had to protect her from herself.
"We can't just let her walk away" Beck said.
"She has a gun and she is unstable" Andre said. "I think we need to call the police"
"I agree" Tori said. "We can't help her, she needs more care than we can give her"
"Oh god, I can't believe this is happening" Ana said and sat down holding her head, she felt so overwhelmed.
"How did we not see this?" Beck asked. "She's been delusional for months and we never even suspected it"
"She didn't give us reasons" Andre said "How could we have known she talked to her dead mother when she kept it a secret?"
"Still, this is something big" Beck commented "I should've paid more attention to her"
"This no one's fault" Ana affirmed and took a breath "Someone please call the police and tell them everything" she added and stood up.
"Where are you going?" Cat asked.
"I'll make some coffee, this will be a long night" She said emotionlessly and walked into the kitchen.
The police started looking for Jade but she was nowhere to be found, they searched her late mother's apartment, her father's house and the places she usually went to but they hadn't even seen her in the area. Hours turned into days and two weeks later, the search had almost ceased.
"She was on foot and she didn't have any money, how can you not find her? It's been two weeks!" Ana exclaimed upset as the two police officers looked at her.
"I'm sorry, ma'am but no one has seen her" One of them said.
"Her photo is everywhere and she is not exactly subtle, someone must've heard her talking to the fucking air" Beck said angrily. "Have you checked mental wards or hospitals?"
"No need to raise your voice and yes, we have but there's no record of her" The other officer said.
"I do need to raise my voice because my girlfriend is hallucinating, she has a gun and she's been missing for two weeks and all you can say is that you're sorry" Beck responded.
"We are doing everything we can, as soon as we have news, we'll let you know" The man said and they walked out, Tori simply closed the door and Beck took a breath as he sat down on the sofa across from Ana.
"Where the hell is she? How could she disappear like this?" Beck asked.
"She might be unstable, but she is not stupid and is aware of what she is doing, she probably took measures to go undetected" Tori said.
"But she isn't okay" Cat added worriedly.
"Are we sure she didn't have any money?" Andre asked "I can't think of another explanation, she couldn't have walked too far and when the cops started looking for her, she was already gone"
"I didn't give her a lot and she bought the drugs and the gun so, unless she stole it from someone else, I'm sure she didn't have money" Ana said. "Which makes it even worse, because where has she been? What has she eaten?"
"Let's not be negative, she's smart, she'll be okay" Robbie said but Beck shook his head.
"No, she won't" He responded "She is mentally unstable"
"Yes, but Robbie is right…let's not think the worst" Tori commented "She is hallucinating her mother, but apart from that she is fully functional, that's why we didn't realize she had a problem" She added.
"Exactly, I'm sure she found a way to get by" Andre added and Beck sighed but he couldn't stop worrying, he needed to find her and make sure she got the help she needed. It was still surreal to think about the fact she was hallucinating her dead mother, it felt like a bad joke.
Jade opened the door to the road hotel she was staying in and took off the oversized coat and hat she was wearing, which she'd stolen from some girls at a public restroom to keep herself warm. "Mom?" She said and Lorraine stepped out of the bathroom.
"Hi honey" She said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"No one came, right?" Jade asked and her mother shook her head.
"No, we are still safe" Lorraine said and Jade laid down on the bed. "Coming to New York was a wise choice, love"
"I'm not so sure anymore" Jade admitted.
"What are you talking about?" Lorraine asked confused.
"I…I don't want to keep doing this" Jade admitted with tears in her eyes and took a breath as she resisted the urge to cry more. She was so emotionally drained.
"Honey, there is no option, if we go back Ana and your friends will lock you up in a mental hospital" Lorraine said.
"But this…this is horrible" Jade said.
"It's temporary, only while we find you a better job that they can't track down" Lorraine said as she stroked Jade's hair.
"But how long? I can't do it anymore, mom" Jade said as she opened her eyes to look at her and Lorraine wiped her tears away.
"Baby, it's okay, it's just dancing…you've done it before" Lorraine said and stroked her cheek "Besides, you've done a lot more already to get us here and I'm proud of you for that" She commented and Jade closed her eyes as more tears streamed down her cheeks, she didn't like to think about that.
"You know I didn't want to do it" Jade said.
"But you did, honey, and if you could do that, you can certainly handle this" Lorraine affirmed and Jade took a breath trying to be objective, her mother had a point and she wanted to believe it, but the truth was she couldn't stand her life as it was and the memories of her trip to New York consumed her every day.
"I need something to sleep" Jade said and Lorraine handed her the bag of drugs, so she reached inside to grab a pill and swallowed it without even drinking water.
"Good girl, you'll feel better now" Lorraine said as she stroked her head and Jade closed her eyes waiting for the drugs to kick in, she needed to numb out all her feelings to be able to handle them.
The truth was Jade had slept her way to New York because it was the only way she'd managed to get rides or easy money and every time she closed her eyes, she could feel those men on top of her all over again. However, their faces were always blurry, she felt them inside her but when she tried to picture what they looked like, she could only see John and her landlord and the men from the club. There were moments when she wasn't even sure what had really happened those nights, she didn't know if she had actually slept with John at the club and she'd killed the men who gave her rides, or if it was the other way around.
After everything she'd been through, nothing made sense to her and she had no clarity on the facts or even the chronological order of events in her life. Jade only knew she'd slept with a few men and killed some others, she was a prostitute and a killer, those were the facts and everything else didn't matter.
"Hey, how is the night?" Dexter, her boss at the club, asked as he approached her the next day.
"It's okay, crowded" She simply said as she leaned back on the bar and stared at all the men cheering for the girl on the stage.
"So, are you ready to tell me more about you?" He asked and she looked at him emotionlessly.
"What do you wanna know?" Jade asked as she took his cigarette and smoked.
"Where do you come from? It's clear you know the business, but you strike me as a rather posh girl in a slutty Halloween costume" Dexter commented and she chuckled.
"A very long Halloween, I've been in this for a while" Jade said and smoked again. "I'm no posh girl, my father disowned me as soon as I turned eighteen" She informed.
"There it is! It's always daddy issues, cheers to all the bad fathers in the world!" He said and drank from his glass, so she rolled her eyes. "So, you live alone now?"
"I live with my mom" Jade said and he looked at her confused.
"Does she know you do this?" He asked.
"Yeah" She responded.
"Alright…so, bad daddy and surprisingly permissive mommy, no boyfriend? Friends?" Dexter asked.
"It's just my mom and me" She informed and drank a glass of whisky.
"I'd like to meet her" He commented "She sounds interesting"
"Sure, one day" Jade said and stood up "Anyway, it's almost time for my show"
"See you later, Allie" He said and she nodded, that was the name she'd given him because she trusted no one and she couldn't risk being even linked to Jade West. That life was in the past, she knew that going back would mean getting locked up and telling everyone what she'd been doing, so she preferred to just stay away.
"Still no news?" Mr. West asked as he stepped into Ana´s living room after inviting himself into the house, he'd been in contact with Ana over the phone but that was the first time he showed up.
"What are you even doing here?" Beck asked upset.
"My daughter is missing" He responded.
"Jade stopped being your daughter long ago" Tori affirmed. "Just leave"
"I didn't come here to talk to rude kids, I'm here to see Ana" Mr. West said and looked at her, but she was just staring at him coldly.
"I agree with the rude kids, you ditched Jade like an animal when she turned eighteen and this is the result" Ana said as she stood up. "I hope you are happy"
"This is not my fault, she is an adult and this is all on her…and in any case, the blame can be put on Lorraine, she turned our daughter into an insane junkie like herself" He affirmed. "But still, it's Jade's responsibility, of course she was going to follow in her mother's footsteps" He said and they shook their heads at him, they couldn't believe that man could say that about his own daughter.
"Excuse me? Are you saying this is her fault?" Tori asked upset.
"She's always been a disappointment" He responded.
"Do you have any idea of what Jade has been through?" Andre asked coldly and Mr. West looked to the side annoyed.
"Let me give you a refresher" Beck said. "Jade had to start working as a stripper to survive and go to school, she had to deal with her landlord's harassment, she became addicted to alcohol and drugs, she had to go through a very painful rehab and now she is hallucinating her dead mother, she's been out there by herself with nothing but a gun and a bag of drugs, ALL because YOU kicked her out as soon as the law allowed you to" He said angrily and looked at him from top to bottom. "How dare you come here and ask about her?"
"She is my daughter and I have a right to know where she is" He insisted.
"We don't know, we might never know" Ana responded. "But hey, you might get lucky and find out she overdosed or shot herself in some dark alley"
"How can you even say that?" Mr. West asked upset.
"Because it's true, the police haven't found her" Beck said coldly.
"That's because they are not trying hard enough but I will" He responded.
"What are you trying to prove? We all know you don't care about her" Andre commented.
"That doesn't mean I want her to end up like this, I'll find her and send her to a clinic where she'll get the care she needs and then, we can all move on" He explained.
"So, your plan is to keep her in a mental ward for the rest of her life, what a good father!" Beck said.
"You might not agree but she is my daughter and you cannot stop me" He responded. "As for now, you only have to wait until my people find her"
Jade arrived from work as she did every day and walked up the stairs through the parade of junkies and hookers. The hotel she lived in was even worse than the apartment she used to share with her mother but at that point, that wasn't even one of her biggest concern. The dreadful appearance of that place perfectly reflected what her life had become once again.
"Mom?" Jade asked when she opened the door and didn't see her mother on the bed as always, it was almost sunrise so that was strange. "Mom, where are you?" She asked again and looked inside the bathroom, which was also empty.
"Mom!" Jade exclaimed louder, she felt fear running through her body and she couldn't explain it because it had only been a moment, so feeling so scared was not normal. She knew there was an explanation for Lorraine's absence but deep inside, what she feared was that Ana's words became true. That was a fear she always had and it was only calmed by her mother's voice or touch.
"Mom!" Jade exclaimed again with a few tears in her eyes as she looked around the room anxiously.
"I'm here, honey" Lorraine suddenly said from behind her and Jade turned around to see her on the bed. Jade didn't know where she had come from, but she didn't want to think about it, seeing her was the only reaffirmation she needed that she wasn't crazy.
"Where were you?" Jade asked.
"Right here, honey, I don't know why you didn't see me" Lorraine said, and Jade took a breath in relaxation. "Come on, it's time for bed…You must be exhausted"
Jade laid down on the edge of the small bed and felt her mother's hand on her hair, she could hear her singing, she could feel her warmth and everything felt right, she felt in peace and that's all she needed, she didn't want to think about anything else because even the possibility of Lorraine being a fragment of her imagination was terrifying. She wasn't crazy, she couldn't be and she'd made the right choice when she left Los Angeles.
"Here, have something to sleep better" Lorraine said as she showed her a syringe and Jade sighed feeling the injection, which was immediately followed by a sense of peace and numbness.
"Sleep tight, honey" Lorraine said and Jade started feeling the need to close her eyes, she blinked feeling her eyelids getting heavier and saw her mother vanishing and then reappearing right before her eyes after each blink, she didn't understand why that happened but she wasn't trying to make sense of it. She was drugged and she had no intentions to even entertain the possibility of Lorraine being actually dead, so she simply kept her eyes closed and finally fell asleep, in that room all by herself.
:(
I know, it's sad...PLEASE REVIEW!