December 28th – part 1

Klaine advent word: Overwhelm

"So let me get this straight," Sebastian drawls in the phone. "A hot guy asks you to sing with him in a Hallmark-worthy move, and you didn't instantly jump at it?"

"Well, when you put it like that…" Blaine huffs, and runs a hand through his semi-captured hair.

"Blaine, you're dumb. I love you; you are an intelligent guy with lots of talent, but sometimes you're just dumb."

"Thank you so much," Blaine snorts, and spins around to continue his restless march up and down his temporary bedroom.

"I mean it, Blaine. This guy is basically giving you a perfect excuse to spend loads of time together to rehearse for this concert, and you're not sure if you want it? If you've changed your mind about your crush, it's better to come clean than to jerk him around."

"I haven't changed my mind," Blaine huffs again. "And it's way more than a silly crush. I could really fall for him, if I let myself. And I'm not jerking him around. I even told him I like him."

"And when he suggests something that might be a sort of date, you decline. Sure, no mixed signals there, Anderson," Sebastian chuckles.

"It's not like that. I've told him about you, about my past, that I need to take it slow," Blaine says calmer than he feels. He doesn't want to admit that Sebastian might have a tiny point, and that Blaine has been about to mess it up.

"Yeah, but there's a difference between taking it slow and running hot and cold. I hope you at least gave him a valid explanation."

"I said I wasn't sure and needed to think about it," he hesitantly admits, already realizing that Sebastian won't approve of his answer.

"Wow, such enthusiasm," Sebastian snarks sarcastically. "So, walk me through this. Why didn't you immediately say yes and suck his dick to show your gratitude?"

"I haven't performed publicly since Kings Island Christmas Spectacular. In high school," Blaine explains, ignoring the comment about appreciative blowjobs.

"Bullshit. You sang in that acapella group in college, and we've been to karaoke lots."

"The group only sang for other students, and I was usually inebriated for karaoke. This will be sober, in front of hundreds of strangers," Blaine excuses, wondering why his initial thoughts are sounding less convincing and reasonable now.

"Yup, strangers, living in a city you're gonna move away from any day now. If you make a bad impression, it doesn't matter. But if you give Kurt a good impression, it really matters."

"I don't understand," Blaine sighs.

"Blaine… You said you really like Kurt, and from what you tell me he sounds like a great guy. You've shared your dream with him of becoming a performer, and he's gone out of his way to give you a head start at a local Christmas concert. He is trying to do important things for you, he's making an effort, and you have to meet him halfway or risk scaring him away. It takes two to tango. You don't have to sing with him, but you have to appreciate the thought behind the gesture and be honest with him."

"I'm so overwhelmed," Blaine sighs. "I have no idea what I'm doing," he admits. Marrying your high school-sweetheart obviously does something to your experience with romance.

"So tell him that!"

"Why wasn't this so difficult at Dalton? How did we end up together?"

"Because I was a determined man on a mission, I was a persistent hunter who didn't give up until I had you, and you were much more willing to be swept away then. While now you act as if you want to be in control, but don't know how to do it," Sebastian teases friendly. "Seriously, though, you've done some difficult things already to take control of your life. I know how hard it was for you to quit that job, or to ask for a divorce. In comparison, singing with Kurt should be literally a walk in the park. Man up, flirt a little, be a little bolder, and you can bag yourself a hot boyfriend before this year ends. And for fuck's sake, make sure you actually talk with him. He's not a mind reader."

"You don't know him," Blaine huffs, a little offended by Sebastian's words. Just because they are mostly true, doesn't mean they don't also sting.

"No!" Sebastian laughs, "but I'm pretty damn sure he's not a mind reader, and I would be frustrated as hell if someone was as dodgy as you've been. Meet him halfway," Sebastian insists. "Give him something more to work with. He makes you cookies and asks to tag along in the park and he fixes you a concert gig. What have you done to prove you're serious with your intentions?"

"I…"

"Yes?"

"We've talked a lot. I've told him some really personal things. Even stuff I haven't told you. I trust him, and you know that's not something I do easily."

"But does he know? Does he know it's difficult for you to open up? Does he know that what you share is a gift? Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and can be a hell of a lot easier to interpret."

"I guess you're right…"

"You're damn right I'm right."

"So, enough about me, what have you been up to?" Blaine asks. He needs to process this conversation before he has any more to say about it.

"You're not changing topic to get out of talking with your guy?"

"No, I promise I'll talk with him later today. But I want to hear about your life too."

"Okay, so you know my cousin Benjamin? You won't believe what he did at the Christmas party the other day!"

Blaine exhales slowly when he's ended the phone conversation with his ex-husband. The one person who probably knows him better than anyone, and contrary to Cooper also isn't afraid to give him a brutal mental shove when he needs it. He cleans up his few items from breakfast, eaten alone because his brother is running errands with his PA and bodyguard, preparing for his New Year's Party.

He makes himself a cup of coffee, and with disappointment notices that they're out of cinnamon. For the sake of experimenting, he grabs a few gingerbread cookies to dip in the coffee. After all there's cinnamon in the recipe. He moves to the living room, stops by the wide windows and blindly watches the snow falling.

Sebastian is unfortunately right; Blaine needs to make some kind of gesture to solidify his interest in Kurt. He has to make sure Kurt knows that his feelings run deep and serious. Blaine picks out his pocket watch and checks the time. Despite of his lazy morning, it's still early, and he has time to whip up a batch or two of his specialty for Kurt. Blaine's cookies somehow more often than not turn out dry and burned, but there's one thing he's mastered even if it's supposed to be complicated. Maybe because he pays better attention to the complex process, or maybe he just has a gift. But he will make his famous fudge, and in the afternoon go over to Kurt and accept his invitation to participate in the potluck Christmas concert.

With an optimistic spring to his steps, he peruses the fridge and cupboards to see if Cooper has all the ingredients Blaine will need. As expected, Cooper's kitchen isn't stocked for this kind of cooking, so Blaine quickly makes a list from memory and solid experience. He briefly considers calling Cooper's trusted home delivery-service but decides against it. For such an important culinary exercise he wants to make sure he uses the very best ingredients.