a pseudo follow-up to my fic "please could you kiss my name?" and also brought on by that one meme of the couple kissing while the third wheel sips from their drink.

after some thinking, i decided i like the idea of benny working in the media relations department at hq because he definitely is NOT going out in the field. it'll get his tweed jacket dirty.

Single King

"Hey, listen, I'm really happy you two are dating, but stop making goo-goo ga-ga lovey-dovey make out with me eyes in my cubicle," Benny deadpanned, holding his smartphone to his chest.

Sitting across from Benny in his cramped quarters, Bobby burned brighter than his hair. Chloe's face was hidden by her helmet, but despite the reflective, orange material, her face was notably red. Smirking at their stupefied silence and wide eyes, Benny brought the phone back up to his ear and continued his conversation with a Hollywood producer, which was really him listing off every reason why the Psychonauts would not approve of a child psychic being violently crucified by a group of Christian extremists.

"I don't care if it's appropriate for a period piece, and I don't care if the movie is rated R! It's a terrible image for psychics. Make the alterations. The Psychonauts might consider approving the movie if you do," Benny ordered before tapping the end call button. Lacing his fingers together, he grinned over at his friends, asking, "So, where were we? Oh, right, you two finally hooked up. New Year's kiss and all that shit?"

Setting her hand on Bobby's when his fingers tightened into a fist on his knee, Chloe said, "Yeah, Benny, that's exactly what happened."

"And I can't believe it was you confessing to him," Benny sneered, digging his elbows into his desk. He waved his hand. "You know, I imagined this whole thing with lots of crying and passionate kissing, but that was practically a snore-fest. Worse than Vernon's crap."

"Shut up," Bobby hissed, hunching forward and leering at him. "What the fuck was with that 'goo-goo ga-ga' whatever the hell you said comment?"

Benny rolled his eyes. "Because you two were looking at each other with such affection that it made me wanna puke." He widened his eyes and softened his expression, his lips turning upwards in a tiny grin. "See? It was like this. How was I supposed to concentrate on that big Hollywood movie deal when you two were looking like you wanted to swap spit in front of me?"

"I'm pretty sure that expression doesn't mean anything like that," Chloe replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

"It does! Seriously, it does," Benny insisted, brushing off her retort.

"No the fuck it doesn't," Bobby growled back, Chloe leaning her head on his shoulder.

Benny snickered. "Yes the fuck it does."

Bobby glanced down at Chloe, asking, "Can I attack him? I'll make it so clean no one will suspect me, and I won't go on probation."

"No, Bobby. Even if he's being annoying, violence isn't the answer," Chloe said, patting his arm as Benny flinched and leaned further into his seat. Straightening her back, she took off her helmet and set it on his desk. Glancing at Benny, she added, "Though, if Benny is annoyed with a simple gaze, perhaps I should continue this new experiment with some…" She grinned up at Bobby. "...evidence gathering."

Benny scowled as Chloe wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's shoulder and proceeded to kiss his face. Hearing Bobby breaking into a stupid giggling fit before locking lips with her made him slump halfway into his seat. He dragged his hands down his face, wishing he hadn't said anything as they proceeded to do exactly what he asked them not to do, knowing they were doing it just to spite him.

"Stop, stop, stop, don't make out in my cubicle," he whined, his friends ignoring his pleas while he wallowed in despair over his lack of a girlfriend.