A.N.: I'VE SEEN LOVE DIE WAY TOO MANY TIMES WHEN IT DESERVES TO BE ALIVE *cries for Ben Solo and Retsu and all the fics I've had to write this past decade). I hated this decade in entertainment, how about you guys? (also, happy holidays!)

Chapter XV: Hidden in Plain Sight

It was not rare to wake up before Retsu, but most of the time the captain was quick to fall back asleep, her light steps on the creaking floorboards in the hallway the only thing that could make him get up that early in the morning. But today was not one of those days. When Kenpachi opened his eyes and something brighter than pure darkness greeted him he got out of bed as fast as he could.

Wasting no time to change into a yukata he left his room and headed to the kitchen, the cold morning air hitting his bare chest. Good, she wasn't up still. Now what?

For a moment, Kenpachi had forgotten why it had been so important to get up this early. Last night Retsu had mentioned that she would be heading to Isane right after she got some light breakfast and he really did not want to miss her. He stared out of one of the windows in the kitchen. The last stars were still shining outside, even if they were barely visible. It was unholy early. The man turned on the stove and put on the black iron kettle.

He pulled on one of the chairs and straddled it, waiting for the water to boil. He already detested the day that would follow – he would spend the morning and the better part of the afternoon alone at home. For that matter, he could go out on a walk and get lost for a bit but that wasn't the point. It was already bad enough that he needed to leave almost every day for work and leave her alone. Truly, an unfortunate concurrence of circumstances but it still made him wish it did not have to be this way. The day would pass terribly slowly. He wished they could spend the day together, what they would be doing did not really matter.

The sound of the boiling water tore him away from his thoughts. The man got up and replaced the kettle with a pot of rice then lowered the heat and put on the lid. He took two cups out of the cupboard and a jar of tea. Using a chashaku he measured the right amount of tea, filled the cups with water, leaving the leaves to steep.

The captain heard the door to Retsu's room open and then close. She was awake. After a few seconds, she walked into the kitchen, still unaware of his presence, clad in a silver furisode that faded to black, adorned with rust-coloured flowers that she had recently purchased with the pension the Central had allowed her. Kenpachi felt as if he had not seen her in a century. It always amazed him how beautiful she was. Even this early in the morning when her eyes were still brimming with sleep, she looked as if she belonged to a higher world. But today she also looked different in a way. It was obvious she did not expect to see him but she also did not notice him. The woman seemed engulfed in a world of her own.

"Morning," he said, his voice raspy from not talking. Retsu sharply turned to the sound of his voice, almost desperately, and smiled weakly.

"Good morning, Kenpachi! You're up early." The roots of her hair were wet with sweat, the small baby hairs framing her face sticking to her damp forehead. Retsu felt his gaze studying her and made a half-hearted effort to correct her appearance, combing through her hair with fingers and bringing it over her right shoulder. There was something in her expression that he had seen only once before but he could not tell when. Something that filled his heart with worry despite having no name.

"I didn't want to miss you," the man replied and she stopped dead in her tracks. He was getting bolder and bolder but never dared to cross the line she had ran over on that stormy night. He did not catch how the sheer intensity of his green eyes made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her throat go dry.

"I'll be back in the afternoon. Surely, you'll manage without me."

He grunted back in agreement, obviously still bothered by her upcoming absence. He turned around to face the counter and grasp one of the cup of tea. Behind his back Retsu reached out to touch him, a kind of uncertainty in her gesture that did not allow her to do so, as if he could turn to dust beneath her fingers. Her hand reluctantly went back to her side as Kenpachi turned back around and handed her a cup of tea.

"Thank you," she said, taking the cup. "I can finish making the breakfast."

"It's not a big deal. Are you ready?"

"To leave for Isane's? No, not quite yet."

"Go get ready then. I'll manage," he alluded to her words from a couple of minutes ago with a smile.

The woman's lips twitched in a quickly formed smile and she nodded.

"Thanks. I'll be right back."

The captain watched her leave the room before returning to the stove. Something bothered him, like an invisible hand around his throat not entirely suffocating him but not quite letting him breath, like a constant threat. There was not much use in wondering what could be the reason. It could be something as simple as a bad dream that she still could not shake off.

Soon enough, the breakfast was ready. Kenpachi was placing the bowls of rice on the table when he heard the soft whisper of her silk clothes. Retsu had seemingly overpowered whatever had bothered her earlier and now looked poised as usual, her hair up in a big low bun. Still the unnamed feeling of unease remained a pit in his stomach. He knew he had to act on it if he did not want to spend the day tortured by his own thoughts.

After they were done with the breakfast, the captain got up to see her to the front door,

"Oi, Retsu," he said, catching her wrist as she was leaving. Her eyes stopped at their hands and then lifted up to look at him.

"Yes?"

"When the time is right, talk to me." Something in her eyes shifted. He had caught her off guard. The woman bit her lip, then sighed. She looked up to him, now holding his hand properly.

"I will. I promise you."

Just as the captain had predicted the morning and afternoon passed dreadfully slowly. Then, when Retsu returned, time seemed to make up for its previous speed. Ikkaku and Yumichika came by sunset. They had just returned from the living world and the lieutenant was fervently talking about some girl. By what he was saying one could not understand if he liked the girl or if he was annoyed by her but by the way he was blabbering, so fast and loud, Yumichika suggested it was the first. Still, he gave Ikkaku the elbow so he would finally shut up.

"You're both late."

The handsome man held out a pinwheel to Retsu.

"There was a festival while we were there. We would have brought you a gift but someone forbade us. Maybe he wants to be the only one giving out such, albeit I don't really see one." He gave a sharp glare to Kenpachi who just stared daggers at his third seat.

"Thank you, Ayasegawa-san." The woman took the pinwheel and blew in its folded wings, admiring the blurry haze of mixed colours that ensued. She sensed that Kenpachi was watching her. How could he not? The sunset painted her face in warm tones and the white silk of her kimono seemed to glow in the light. The red of spider lilies embroidered on the sleeves and the hem looked even more vibrant, as if they were on fire. Retsu was focused on the pinwheel and her puckered lips were gently blowing in its folds. The captain could not tear his eyes from them. The way they relaxed when she was inhaling only to tighten again.

"Here, Kenpachi, you can have it." Retsu said as she outstretched her hand to him. He raised what would have been an eyebrow but reached out to take the toy.

"Not." She withdrew her hand and leapt to her feet, spinning around the yard barefoot with the pinwheel raised high, her hair and the long sleeves of her furisode swaying in the air. The captain took it as a challenge and went after her. Retsu ran from him, laughter escaping her lips. She was very fast but he made bigger steps. When she turned her head to see how far behind he was Kenpachi knew he had to catch her. Her cheeks were flushed from the exercise, her lips parted with laughter, every breath passing through them. Her black hair seemed to float in midair, like a halo around her fair face. He ran faster and he could tell that she knew he was about to get her.

Retsu turned around moments before he bent down and wrapped his arms around her thighs, raising her up high. The pinwheel fell forgotten from her hands and she outstretched her arms up towards the sky as if she could touch it. Kenpachi slowly spun them around as her laughter rang in the yard and in his head. He knew he was going to hear it in his dreams tonight but this now was not one. She looked down at him, still trying to catch her breath from all the running and laughing. The captain was out of breath too and his heartbeat was resonating through his body. He chose to blame it on himself, he was probably still out of shape after those months off work, and swallowed the lump in his throat. He could only guess what she was seeing – him, grinning, mesmerized, happy. In love. His arms carefully loosened their grip around her thighs and let her slide down slowly, the fabric of her furisode gathering around her hips. Retsu wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I dropped the pinwheel." She said as she was slowly sliding down to the ground, their faces mere centimetres apart.

"I never wanted it anyway." Her hot breath was brushing against his lips, the way her chest was heaving, pressed against his and he thought he could feel her heart beating just as fast as his. Retsu leaned in even closer.

"What do you want?"

Everything. You. Your laughter. This, until the end of time. Her feet touched the ground and the spell was broken. Her arms reluctantly went from around his neck to her sides. She bent down to pick up the forsaken pinwheel and handed it to him before going back to Ikkaku and Yumichika.

A.N.: Hi, guys! I really don't know how to put this in words (so I probably won't) but I'm afraid I'm doing my worst ever. I've been having problems sleeping and controlling my emotions, it's like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode and it's so tiring on my body and my mind. Also, seeing the latest Star Wars movie did not help as Ben Solo is tied as favourite character with Retsu (I have a thing about morally ambiguous characters with scars, okay, maybe she's winning by a 0.00001 margin, I've literally been crying for the past week non-stop). However, I scraped up whatever I have left in me and brought you this relatively short and uneventful chapter (cause I wrote that second part of the chapter and I really refused to kill my darlings). I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with how it turned out but I prefer to post it now and if really necessary, change it up a bit later. I really hope it's not too inconsistent. I start ripping your hearts out in the next one though. So, I can calmly say that we're really going into it now.