Sian could see how Bernie's decision had disappointed Serena. She didn't have the heart to gloat about how right she had been, not anymore.
'This never would have happened if you hadn't walked in. You've really pissed me off now Sian. As for you, I expect you to act professional.'
Cam nodded.
'Just leave. I'm fed up with both of you.'
'I didn't realise you liked her that much' protested Sian.
'She was starting to enjoy herself. I bet she hasn't been able to do that in a long time. And now she's going to retreat from human contact again and tell herself that she doesn't deserve to be happy.'
Serena was frustrated and annoyed at herself for allowing a wobble to invade her voice. She'd never wanted to make Bernie feel ashamed. The abrupt, closed off Major was finding it difficult to be open with her desires and feelings and tonight signalled a willingness to break out of her self-imposed confines. Only to be dashed by two bumbling idiots.
Cam was staring at her in confusion. He'd never thought about his mother that way. Serena was much more upset than he'd realised. He said his goodbyes and left.
'Mum, she really does like you. She seems to think that you think you don't deserve to be happy.'
Bernie wondered how Serena had pounced on the root of the problem so quickly. 'She's right. That's how I feel.'
'Why?' Her son's faith in her was touching, considering how she'd hurt her family with her request for a divorce, they hadn't seen it coming. Who'd want a lesbian for a mother? A woman who had pretended to be something she was not. She had made them a laughing stock in their circle, people who wouldn't even deign to look at her again. She had disgraced her family and she hadn't expected them to forgive her so easily. They hadn't. She felt like she'd gotten off lightly that after three years her son had decided to speak to her again.
'I don't know if it would have made a difference if I'd known and spoken up earlier but it made me so ashamed of my existence. What kind of a person was I to do that to you?'
'You snapped. You couldn't take it anymore' her son said gently. He'd had a long time to think about what his mother had done and why and now that he was older, he could understand it. 'I don't want you to be trapped into a life you didn't want to be in. It happened; it shook us all up, we've moved on. You can enjoy yourself now if you want to. And I do think you want to. You just need to let yourself. Serena's concerned about how you feel. You don't know how upset she is that you think this was just a game. We encouraged her to go out with you but it wasn't to humiliate you. We just wanted you to be happy.'
She suddenly felt tired. Wished she'd never asked Serena out. She told Cam she needed to think about it.