Lupin raised a gloved hand to shield his eyes. He had anticipated the coldness and the sting of driven snow on his face, but not the ferocity of the wind and how the light blinded him. It was like walking into a fresh page as the fibers are still being laid down, threatening to make him part of the scenery instead of a person in his own right. All he could do was to bow his head until his chin touched his chest and keep walking. Though his feet were beginning to freeze, and his footsteps were small, sinking in past his ankles with each stride, he knew that each step took him closer to the warmth of the Weasley's Burrow. So long as he stayed on the right path, it was only a matter of time before he was inside the warmth again, near people who cared.
Aren't you forgetting someone? There's someone left who cares. She loves you more than anything, and you'd really do this to her?
Molly Weasley's voice rang in his ears, refusing to part from his thoughts. Irritably, he brushed away her words with a curt wave of his hand, raising his knuckles to the door and knocking, not having to wait too terribly long as Mrs. Weasley flung open the door, looking quite festive in a beautiful red sweater overtop her house dress, and a pair of sparkling diamond earrings and a necklace. "Aren't they beautiful?" she gushed lovingly, not even bothering to offer Remus a cordial hello by way of greeting. "Fred and George gave them to me."
Remus nodded, too cold to speak and was ushered inside.
Molly had barely closed the door behind her when her eyes narrowed as she watched Remus shrug off his coat and sit by the fire.
The smells of a roasting turkey and other food wafted through the Burrow. "Where's Tonks? I thought for certain you would have gone to see her, Remus?" she asked casually with an air of indifference.
"She's got her own family to go to on Christmas, hasn't she?" he asked, wanting to avoid talking about the love of his life as long as possible. "I…went to her flat earlier, but she wasn't home, so…I'll try again later," he lied, knowing full well Mrs. Weasley saw right through him. "Besides, it's getting late," he added, glancing at the clock on the wall. All the Weasleys' hands were still pointing towards mortal peril.
"Hmm," she murmured thoughtfully, pointing her wand wordlessly at the fireplace. Sparks shot from the tip of her wand and lit a roaring fire in the hearth. "Perhaps," she continued, reaching up a hand to tuck a stray red curl behind her ear. "I spoke to her earlier and was under the impression she was planning to spend today alone. You really think she should spend Christmas Eve alone, Remus? After everything she went through, the poor child needs company."
Mrs. Weasley let out a huff of frustration at Lupin's silence, noticing how the man stiffened almost militarily and became rigid.
"You made yourself look bad, Remus," she snapped, waving her wand and pulling up a chair to sit by the fire to talk to Lupin. "Here, give me that," she grumbled, motioning to the bowl of cashews on a nightstand near Remus. "Pass me a nut," she growled. "Thanks," she murmured half-heartedly as he did so. "Had I known you were that bad with women, I would have changed your entire strategy to something where you didn't talk," she taunted, noticing the dark look in Lupin's eyes. "Merlin's beard, Remus. I'm not going to lie to you," she said through a mouthful of nut, waving a hand around the room in exasperation. "This is a tragedy, Lupin." She fixed the embarrassed wizard with an icy stare that was unlike her personality. "You've got one more chance to make things right, Remus. Tonight."
The guilt sat not on Remus's chest but inside his brain. What he had done to Dora he could not un-do, no matter how hard he wanted to. He could make amends in subtle ways, but only in his silent prayers could he speak his heart to her and beg for her forgiveness. Lupin did not feel as though he deserved Tonks' love, but still, whether he liked it or not, he clung to it and hung the shreds of his sanity on that little flicker of hope Dumbledore had mentioned to him. He prayed that one day he would feel removed from what he had done, but the guilt of their breakup at a time when she'd needed him the most was a stain upon him, another ugly scar in his wretched life. He had to believe that one day, she would forgive him, but…
Remus let out a tired sigh, knowing full well Molly was right.
"We'll be back. You're right. As always," he snapped, not hesitating to grab his wand. "Accio!" He caught his coat in mid-air and shrugged into it, wrapping it tighter around himself for warmth. "Molly?"
Mrs. Weasley paused, glancing back over her shoulder, something akin to pride mixed with sympathy in her kind eyes. "What is it?"
Lupin hesitated, biting his lip before answering. "Thanks."
"Anytime, dear," she said, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I hope you can convince her to come for Christmas dinner." Remus gave a curt nod and Disapparated on the spot with a loud crack. "Merlin help you both," she murmured, a note of hope in her voice, before the sounds of the twins erupting into an argument with Ronnie and Ginny called Molly's attention back to the kitchen.
Go get her, Lupin, Molly thought, and she spent the rest of Christmas Eve in a dazed distraction, holding out hope for them.
Bring her home.
They say we live in the moment, that the past is always gone, and each day is something new, a steppingstone into a future we dream of even in the cold. For Tonks, that stone was snow, that is those wintry days of bluster and ice. The Auror saw the earth of yesterday covered as white as any new page and the toddler in her rose as if armed with a rainbow of crayons, eager to set that right. Yet today, she was content enough to simply walk in it, create a few footprints of her own, her black boots leaving prints in the snow. Tonks watched them tumble, those feathered crystals, their chaotic flight to form a blanket that could not be more uniform, more orderly. Yet for some their destination is to come to her hand, to alight upon these ungloved fingers and let her warmth be their spring melt. Allured by the scent of freshly baked Christmas cake coming from a neighboring bakery amidst the bustling streets of Hogsmeade's Christmas Market, Tonks took her lingering gaze off the enormous Christmas tree adorned with glistening ornaments and glowing fairy lights draped around it. Strolling alongside the magnificently structured buildings of Hogsmeade, the young witch watched as people swarmed in and out of the bustling shops and bakeries like bees.
As the evening sky faded away, the pink and orange hues were replaced with dark shades of blue, whilst the amber light of the streetlamps spilled on the stone-paved streets. In turn, the elegantly decorated, wooden stalls slowly revealed their hidden wonders attracting long queues of bustling customers. The festively designed stalls, illuminated with blinking Christmas lights, vibrant ornaments and brightly colored signs, were lined up along either side of the street and had varieties of delectable treats, jasmine scented fragrances, skillfully hand-crafted greeting cards and unlimited choices of gifts to customers occupied for endless periods of time. The warm smiles of the people behind the stalls as they tossed freshly roasted, golden brown chestnuts into paper cones or carefully poured creamy hot chocolate into mugs and added generous layers of whipped cream, was returned by the beaming grins of the children who were eagerly waiting to get their mug. The energetic youngsters giggling at their creamy chocolate mustaches were followed soon after. The loud, spirited laughter of adults could be heard over the continuous chatter surrounding the vivacious atmosphere.
Tonks tugged at the front of her red turtleneck sweater dress. Paired with a pair of black tights and knee-high black heeled boots, she thought it looked festive enough. She'd tried so hard to get her pixie to revert to its usual pink color. The best she could do these days was a few magenta colored streaks, almost a plum in color.
Tonks let out a heavy sigh, doing her best to avert the gaze of all the couples strolling through the streets of Hogsmeade holding hands. "I—I didn't mean to…chase you away," she whispered, hoping that wherever Remus was, he could hear her, somehow. "It's just that everything was happening so quickly, you know, and I…I really do like you," she said shyly under her breath, pausing to stare up at the Shrieking Shack, a cold chill traveling down her spine. She clutched the strap of her small black purse to her shoulder that much tighter.
"I like you a lot. And I never…I never want to hurt you." A beat. A pause. "I think I love you," she whispered, her voice cracking.
Tonks knew full well she was depressed, ever since Remus left. Depression is like the friend visiting from out of town. It doesn't just come and go. It stays for a while, spending time with you or in other words, not leaving you alone until it decides for itself when to leave. It strips you naked, revealing every deep part of you no one else has ever seen. Depression takes away your happiness and keeps it for itself. Depression only wants to be with you and gets too jealous when you're with other people. It tells you that you're not allowed to have other friends except for itself. Until one day when you learn that this 'friend' is controlling you and learn to push it away, it goes back to where it came from. But it still exists and can come knock on your door occasionally. The blizzard removes the illusion of her eyes.
With sight, Tonks knew she was not alone, she was one of many in the world and the world is full of interesting things to see, to touch to feel, to keep her mind anchored in time and space. But as the white flakes whirled around her in an angry vortex, the young witch felt as alone as she would be in the bleakness of space and cold, so cold. Tonks reached out with a gloved hand to guide her way, but it was swallowed before it had gone even a few inches. To save her eyes from the blinding white she had to narrow them until they are almost shut, and all the while the wind rages without end, only reducing its ferocity long enough to gather the strength for another attack. All her heart can do was beat warm blood around her veins in a hope that the storm will end, all her mind could do was plan the most logical path to warmth, safety and to something more tangible than light and snow. Tonks let out a gentle shudder, turning on the heel of her black boot, turning on the spot and Disapparating, back to her flat.
Whatever she came for, wasn't here. Tonks let out a yelp of surprise to see the stooped figure waiting on the front steps of her apartment. The man lifted his head, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh. It's you. Tonks stowed her wand back in the pocket of her black pea coat. "I thought, perhaps…" Her voice trailed off, and she didn't finish her sentence. She reached out a hand to help him up.
Remus lowered the hood of his coat, not caring that snowflakes gathered in his light brown hair or on the shoulders of his jacket.
There was such a pained look in his eyes, she couldn't stand it.
Remus had trouble finding his voice. He thought she was looking stunning in a simple red turtleneck sweater dress, black tights, and black knee-high heeled boots, a black belt around her waist to give the outfit some shape, shrugging into a black pea coat for warmth.
"Merry Christmas, Dora," he whispered, his voice cracking as he stood, seemingly ashamed and afraid to meet her gray eyes with his.
Tonks bit her lip, fighting back tears. "Why are you here?" She visibly flinched at how harsh her voice sounded. "It's Christmas."
Remus wordlessly waved his wand, saying nothing. He gave a tiny jerk of his head upwards, motioning for Nymphadora to look up.
She looked and was startled to see mistletoe hanging above her doorway of the front door to her flat. "That's cute," she grumbled.
But she was hardly given a chance to argue further, to open her mouth to tell him that he should head back to the Burrow, to the others. Tonks hesitantly looked up at him. The swirls of emotion she saw there made her gasp. Lust and desire. However, before she could ponder about it further, he yanked her body to him and covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss. As their lips crushed together, Tonks felt like she was walking on air. It was magic, the way his lips connected with mine. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined, even after all this time apart, and she opened her mouth with a low moan, letting him in.
He broke their kiss first, stroking her cheek with the pads of his thumb. "I've missed you." There was no mistaking the genuine pain in his voice. Tonks swallowed hard, fighting back yet more tears.
She hesitated, unsure if she could even speak the truth around him anymore. If she said what was really on her mind, he'd leave again. "No one helps," she answered, her voice numb and flat. "They only make it worse for me. Depression isn't something you can't put a salve over and say it'll be okay. Because, news flash! It won't!"
Tonks hurried down the steps of her flat, starting to pace back and forth. Back and forth she went on the sidewalk, the heels of her black boots making clacking sounds as she walked. "Depression drags you into this pit and never lets you go!" Tonks cried unhappily, running a hand through her light brown hair streaked with pink, still self-consciously tugging at the hem of her red sweater dress. She briefly wondered if Remus would think it was too short, but then she remembered. He'd always admired her legs, and even if he did, he didn't want her anymore. He'd made that perfectly clear when he left.
"Dora…" he started to say but seeing the look of utter heartbreak and anguish in his love's eyes, his voice faltered, and he fell silent.
"No matter how hard or how long someone's rope is they throw to get you out, something always cuts the cord, so you plummet back down to the ground. You get hurt with each attempt to get out, more and more dirt and filth covering you as try. Why can't you see that?"
Tonks stopped pacing, irritably brushing off a few snowflakes that had landed in her pixie and scowled, a look of immense hurt on her beautiful features. Shockingly, there wasn't a slope in the sidewalk she had been stomping over, much to Tonks's surprise. "There is no bandage large enough or absorbent enough to cover this wound."
Her voice took on a gentler approach. "And I…I just want to let it all go. I don't want to be stuck in this godforsaken pit anymore. I want to be free," she cried, her voice breaking, tears in her eyes.
"I want to help," Remus said, gingerly coming over and laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I know that what I did to you was wrong. I…" Lupin turned his head away sharply. "I love you, Dora."
"I know, and that's what makes it worse," Tonks said softly. She sniffed once or twice, turning away from him for a moment to compose herself. "I want to be happy again, but without you, I can't find it. It's like I'm playing hide and seek with someone all the way across the world and winning will let me be free. It'll never happen."
"Did you not hear me?" Remus demanded, his tone growing clipped and hard as his hand drifted to her waist and settled there.
"Oh, I heard you all right," Tonks said, lifting her chin and jutted her chin out defiantly, her gray eyes growing cold and steely in her anger. "How did you want me to react?" she asked, echoing the words she'd said to him that fateful night they met, when he'd revealed to her the nature of his lycanthropy. "Shall I cry? Were you not listening to me just now, Rem? Help doesn't work—" Tonks was silenced by Lupin pulling her into a hug, gentle but firm enough.
"Shush." Remus hushed her, before moving his finger, and pressing his hand against her cheek, giving him more support to push himself towards her, and connect their lips again. His lips were firm against hers, but the kiss remained soft, gentle, slow. Perfect, really.
They held it like that for a few seconds, before their lips began to move in perfect sync, slowly, cautiously. He exhaled through his nose, not wanting to let go of this perfect woman encircled in his protective grip. This happened every time he was around Tonks.
His entire body had been taken over by the overwhelming feeling of relief, combined with eccentric panic, and lust. Remus moved his hand from her cheek to back of her head, his fingers entangling in the short locks of her pixie, which was flickering between the light, mousey brown with the streaks of burgundy pink, back to its pink.
Like she was unsure if she could be happy around him or not.
Lupin pulled her into him, adding more pressure to their lips, slanting her head to the side, deepening their kiss, desperate for it.
He broke apart at last but did not relinquish his grip on her shoulders. Tonks was looking dazed and confused, her cheeks flushed and high with color, her gray eyes half-lidded. "I'm going to help you, sweetheart. I'll climb down into this pit myself to get you out if I must. I want to see you smile again, Dora, and will not take no for an answer. Now, either I sleep on your couch tonight, or you can come back with me to the Burrow. The others, Molly and Sirius and Dumbledore were right," he confessed, his tone pained, as he ran a hand through his brown hair flecked with the beginnings of gray. Tonks was stunned and speechless. No one was ever this forceful about the topic. Whenever she said no, they just brushed it to the side. Lupin took her dazed silence as his motion to continue talking.
"You're far too important to lose. No one—especially not me, should ever leave you alone again. I—I was wrong to leave you, love."
"What…what are you saying?" Tonks asked, her voice timid.
Lupin hesitated, wanting to say what was on his mind, but wanted to wait for the right moment. "Do you want to talk a walk, Dora?"
"I…" Tonks lost herself momentarily in his brown eyes. Remus's eyes were bewitching; it was as if their roasted-coffee-bean rim had diffused into a cream hued iris - mixing until it was the color of sun-dried beech wood. "I'd like that," she said shyly, taking his hand.
Tonks and Remus didn't speak much at first, just content to savor the moment and enjoy the sights of London at Christmas.
The former Hogwarts professor saw what the Auror who had stolen his heart was looking at and once his gaze drifted towards where her eyes were drawn to, he smiled, his first genuine smile in a long time. The pier was home to a permanent fun fair, waves splashing below, a winter breeze permeating the air, the London Eye decorated with lights for the holidays. Lines of children snaked away from the ride, eager eyes, impatient feet, and ready smiles. The smell of frying donuts filled the air. "Want to go up, Dora? I haven't been up in years," he suggested playfully, unable to hold back his grin, making him feel years younger as he lost himself staring at her smile.
Tonks blinked, looking startled. "Up there?" she squeaked, pointing a hand to the London Eye.
"Is there a problem?" he asked, his smile faltering a little as her smile faded slowly.
"I uh…" Her voice trailed off as she glanced down at her boots, the color rapidly draining from her heart-shaped face. "I'm afraid of heights, Remus. Of all the stupid things to be afraid of. I'm a great flyer, but…that? I don't know…" she confessed, summoning the courage to lift her chin slightly to meet his gaze. Oh, God.
To her relief, he was smiling. Tonks barely had a chance to react as Remus inched closer towards her, placing his arm around her shoulder and she leaned closer to him. The softness and gentle touch of his hand against her neck made her back tingle, sending a shiver down her spine. "Just don't look down," he advised. "And if you fell, I'd catch you. And if I missed for any reason, I'd sit by your bedside and nurse you back to health. With your instruction, of course," he joked. Tonks momentarily became distracted by the smell of the frying donuts wafting in the air, filling her nostrils, causing her stomach to elicit a low, rumbling growl. "Wait here," she ordered.
Remus let out a light chuckle as she sauntered off towards the vendor, dipping into her purse and pulling out a few Muggle notes for the man selling the donut, returning with a huge fried chocolate chip donut for the two of them to share, occasionally ripping off a section and feeding it to Lupin. They fell silent for a few long minutes, glancing up at the sky as they waited in line for the ride, looking at all the stars and trying to find constellations. Remus and Tonks didn't speak because in their own way, they were already communicating. A startled shout from a kid broke them out of their moment, as they got in line for the London Eye, the line slowly inching forwards bit-by-bit.
"Are you serious, Robert? No!" he shouted at another kid as he waited in line in front of Remus and Tonks for the Ferris Wheel.
Tonks craned forward to see and chuckled. "That's Henry, one of my neighbors and his friend," Tonks muttered quietly, chuckling at Lupin's bewilderment as they fell silent and listened to the two boys chat. "When you go down to the sewers, you're splashing around in millions of gallons of London piss, did you know that, Robert? It's unsanitary!" he shouted; his face red, angry.
The other boy laughed. "Doesn't smell like kaka to me, Henry, moron," he chuckled, his smile wicked.
"Okay, I can smell that from here!" Henry said.
"It's probably just your breath wafting back into your face!" retorted the boy haughtily.
Henry bit his lip, seeming to need a minute to calm himself. "Have you ever heard of a staph infection?" he bellowed, irate at his friend's lack of knowledge. "This is so unsanitary, when we go down there, it's like swimming around in a toilet bowl! Have you ever heard of listeria disease?"
Tonks couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. Her laughter was kind, coming when the smile of her eyes overflowed into the cold winter air. As soon as Remus heard her giggling fit start to consume her, her soft expression of joy at one of his son's rants, they were as much as a gift for him as they were to her, a sign of their growing bond. Tonks didn't know why she found herself laughing so hard at Henry's listeria comment, but suddenly, she couldn't seem to stop. Her breath came in quick gasps between unstoppable giggles. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over if she couldn't get herself under control. She reached out for something to grab onto to steady herself as her shoulders shook and was surprised to find herself in the dockworker's arms. He was looking at her in a way she wasn't quite sure how to gauge, perhaps equal parts admiration and equal parts confused, maybe. "I—I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting Henry to know so much about listeria. The neighbor's kid has a potential future in our healthcare system if he plays his cards right, or maybe a risk analyst if he doesn't want to do healthcare," she apologized, letting out a tiny snort and turning away, still giggling. "I—I can't. I've always hated my laugh, it's horrible."
Remus didn't think so. As soon as he heard her start to laugh, giggling through her nose, and let out that adorable little snort, he began to fall that just that much harder for the young nurse. Tonks giggled harder as Robert said something else that she didn't catch, and Henry was spouting something about the drainage system in London, and all the germs, her laugh the sound like a brook flowing merrily through a well-lit wood. Her laugh was a waterfall.
Remus began to laugh with her, they were still laughing over her neighbor's antics with Robert when finally, it was their turn to board the London Eye. "You'll like the view, Tonks, I swear it. Tell you what. I'll make you a deal to sweeten the odds. If I'm wrong, you don't have to let me take you on a second date, just the two of us. But if you do like it, then I get to take you on a date next Sunday, just the two of us and I pick where we go," he promised. "Just hang on tight and don't look down," he said, stifling a triumphant grin as the nurse nodded and clutched his arm tight in a vice grip. He stared for a moment before bringing his gaze back up to hers to shoot her a bashful smile. "I promise. It's worth it." He fell silent and waited for Tonks's reaction. Remus Lupin could see it in Tonks' eyes that she hadn't been anticipating he would want to see her again, but he knew as soon as she had been standing by their son's grave all those months ago, that he wanted to, Dumbledore was right, and that desire became solidified as soon as she'd laughed at this kid's hypochondriac ways, finding nothing wrong with the boy or his unusual quirks, but she could not have been more wrong then.
"Did you…are you and I…?" Tonks asked, hesitating. "A couple?"
Lupin froze, hearing the fear and apprehension in her voice. He let out a tiny sigh, instinctively reaching for her hand and settling it on his lap, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Yes," he answered simply. "Dumbledore and Molly were both right," he confessed, his tone pained. "I'm tired of trying to deny it and hide the truth from myself."
Tonks captured his lips with hers, getting lost in his lips again, not giving him a chance to finish his sentence, but he didn't care now.
There was something about Tonks that made him feel so young inside, but not in a childish way. She woke the pure side of him, the best side, all the facets of himself that only required love to be healthy and whole, and she genuinely seemed to care for Henry, the way she gently tapped him on the shoulder and offered her a neighbor a disinfectant wipe from her purse so his son could wipe down the seat before sitting down on it, much to the ride attendant's disdain, claiming it was holding up the line process, but Tonks shot the man a dark look, and he immediately fell silent, for which Remus was grateful and stunned. The last thing he wanted was her temper flaring and having to Obliviate the memories of all these Muggles. Should he be lucky to have an eternity with this woman, Remus would sink into serenity, just content to be close to Tonks and keep her at his side, if she would allow it. Their energy together seemed to vibrate in such a unique way, each the perfect complement of the other, or at least that's how it felt to the young werewolf. Occasionally, he'd catch her excited glances at the skyscrapers and tall towers of the city. He noticed affectionately she was actively avoiding looking down, never once relinquishing her grip on his arm, for which he was secretly glad.
"Whoa," she whispered breathlessly when the London Eye finally reached the top and stopped. "It's beautiful up here. You know," she joked, glancing back towards Lupin, whose eyes were fixed on a different view. Her. "I've lived in London my whole life, and I've never ridden this thing once," she teased, sounding ashamed. Tonks blushed and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
Remus smiled, hoping it was a comfort. "Really? Is it your fear of heights?" he asked, his interest piqued. He couldn't remember the last time he'd talked this much, asking her all her favorite things and committing them to memory. What her favorite color was (purple), to her favorite food (Italian), to her favorite animal.
But Tonks shook her head, suddenly looking wistful. "No," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. "I just…" She bit her lip and looked away for a moment, seeming to need a minute. "Never really…got to come up here with the right person." Her words touched his heart, and Remus knew in that instant as they looked at each other, their eyes silently communicating without the need for either of them to say a word to each other, that he was simply "in love," as those cheesy Muggle movies like to think happened at first sight. No, Remus Lupin was well and truly smitten with her.
Any other could only be a poor reflection, no more substantial than a shadow of the real thing. He felt the blossoming of something warm begin to spread throughout his chest, realizing Tonks was what made his heart strong. Her smile alone was enough to burnish his soul into a beauty it could have never achieved on its own without her. Before he had laid eyes on her, he was one, now he felt like he was a half, or at least he hoped it was heading in that direction. Only time would tell. Yet somehow, so much more than he ever was before without her. He hoped that, in time, she would feel the same for him, as he seemed to be developing feelings for her. It was odd for him to make a connection this quick; he'd be the first to admit it.
With Tonks though, it was different. "So?" he asked, barely suppressing his grin as he watched her take in the view of the city at night. "What do you think? You like it, don't you?"
"Yes," she agreed, nodding shyly. As she scooted a little closer towards him, his pulse raced. A small lock of hair tumbled in front of her face, resting just in front of her cheek, but with one swift slide of Remus's thumb, it was brushed out of the way. Looking into his eyes, Tonks saw deep pools of brown that displayed his soul, and she took a deep breath, steeling her nerves, but more importantly, she had to do this. Wanted to do it. Her lips touched Remus's cheek. Time halted to a stop. His heart came to a stop and his breath caught in his throat. He reached up his hand and their fingers locked together like puzzle pieces. A perfect fit, he thought, amazed at all of it.
As the soft skin of her mouth left the side of his face, the exact spot where they had encountered, his cheek tingled and burned. A hot blazing fire pulsated through his entire body, so much that he didn't seem to notice the cold December air. A small grin crept onto his face and his cheeks painted themselves rose red. He pulled away silently, but their eyes locked, having a private conversation of their own as at last the London Eye returned them to solid ground.
When she kissed his cheek, Remus knew there was more to it, for Tonks to get so intimate, there had to be a pressing reason, especially on a date that he wondered if this meant they were back together again. He hoped so. Then he heard her speak, barely a whisper as she drew back and smiled. "In your pocket, Remus. Meet me at Honeydukes to take me on that second date next Sunday, yeah?" she whispered, shooting him a brief wink before reaching up on her tiptoes to give him another peck on the cheek. "It's getting late, you should head for home. I had a great time with you tonight," she admitted shyly, shifting her purse to her other arm. "Come see me tomorrow if you want, Rem. You know where to find me."
She turned away before he could think to reply; her black pea cot and red sweater dress melting into the dark London side streets, still in a slight daze from the kiss on the cheek she'd given him.
The kid from the ride, Robert, noticed and nudged him.
"Next Sunday, eight o' clock!" he called out. "I'll pick you up, if that's okay!" he hollered, suddenly feeling foolish for yelling it halfway down the way. He cringed, hoping he hadn't ruined it.
Tonks turned, flashing him that brilliant smile of hers that he so desperately wished he could see more of. "I'm looking forward to it," she grinned, shooting Remus and Henry a shy wave. "Bye, Rem, Henry," she chirped, giving a curt nod to her next-door neighbor.
"Wait!" shouted Remus, suddenly confused, one of his hands outstretched as if he thought that could prevent her from leaving. "What did you call me, Dora?" he asked, feeling slightly aroused.
"Rem," she answered, grinning. "It suits you; I think. You need a nickname, Remus! Well, see you!" she chirped, disappearing into the side streets of London to head for her apartment.
Remus fell silent, an odd little smile creeping onto his face as he watched her silhouette disappear slowly down the avenue, watching her leave, already looking forward to next Sunday. Tonks seemed to be so proud of her short hair, but it wasn't the best thing about her. No matter color she chose, most of the time it was a dark magenta pink, it always flattered her pale skin, so striking that it was the only thing anyone ever commented on, he could tell by the looks she'd gotten tonight. But Remus barely noticed it. He could drink in her words like a strong wine and enjoy feeling tipsy. He watched Tonks like she held the stars in her hands and soft petals at her feet when she walked, each step deliberate and graceful, like her.
He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let her go. But first things first, he had to take her out on a makeup date, just the two of them on Sunday, and his nerves were so bad, he shook at the thought. The Muggle boy, Henry, was the first to break the silence.
"Well, that went even better than I expected!" he laughed, earning a startled look from Remus. "Oh, Miss Tonks has told me all about you, mister," he said. "Me dad's a Muggle, Mum's a witch," he explained. "I'm a half-born," he said happily, noticing Remus's look of relief as the kid watched the older man's shoulders relax. "Relax."
Remus nodded, that odd little half-smile on his face as he watched Tonks disappear down the street, choosing to forsake the easy way of transportation in favor of walking, to savor the Christmas Eve night.
Suddenly, he realized he was being utterly foolish. Muttering a curse under his breath, he turned on his heel and Disapparated just in time to beat Tonks back to the front door of her apartment.
Tonks looked startled, but she said nothing as he took her hand, wordlessly leading her inside, back towards her bedroom.
Before the door had even closed, Lupin wrapped his arms around Tonks from behind. One inhale of his musky scent, and she wanted to turn around. His right hand dropped to her thigh, pulling up the dress that flattered her figure so well, he thought. Tonks couldn't move even if she tried, like his fingers had short circuited her mind in the best possible way. He turned her around and he shoved her onto the bed, tumbling to the mattress, his eyes searching hers. Tonks smiled and kissed him back as he knew she would. With her lips she could feel his mouth stretching wider than it should, fighting between his urge to smile and continue kissing.
They'd done this so many times and it kept on getting better.
In that moment Tonks's insecurity comes back for another bite and so she turned to Lupin, "Is everything okay, really?" Lupin stopped fumbling with his shirt, clawing at it in a passionate frenzy to remove it. She squirmed slightly underneath his weight as he shifted slightly to accommodate her. Her words gave him pause. He looked at her with that serious look that still had his trademark warm eyes, "So long as you're by my side, sweetheart, the rest of the world can go to hell." And that's just what she needed to hear, that he was hers for now and into the future... that there will be a future... one she could survive. He pressed a gentle trail of kisses down her neck and collarbone, before pausing to whisper into the shell of her ear. "Merry Christmas, Dora. I didn't want you to spend Christmas alone," he whispered tenderly, nipping the cartilage just slightly, careful to mind the tiny diamond stud piercing, as it was still tender and freshly pierced. "Can we try again?" he begged, not caring how desperate he sounded. "I…I love you."
"I love you too," Tonks whispered. "I'd like that." His brown eyes, like the cool boughs of the trunks of an oak tree on a summer's day, the earth after a summer rain, bore into hers, searching her gray eyes for the truth, for some reassurance that what they wanted was right. Tonks was momentarily tempted to stop what they were doing and tell him the truth, that she loved him more than she did herself, but the desire was interrupted as he nuzzled his face into her neck, and she grabbed at his hair, clinging to it tightly, burying her face in the crook of Lupin's neck. For Remus, he'd never wanted or needed another but Tonks. The more he moved once inside, the harder it became for them both to speak as they lost themselves to the sensation of loving each other. He didn't care if all of England ended and burned in a terrible fire, as long as he was moving inside Tonks when it happened. They loved each other, and that was good enough for them.