The Difference Between
Chapter Fifteen
The sun might not be able to heal us, but maybe we can help each other heal or heal together.
Kaylie reads that line in Nicky's surprisingly neat handwriting about a dozen times over. It's official: he's much better on paper than he is talking. The letter he wrote her can only be described as thoughtful. It isn't full of compliments and flattery about how beautiful she is, not like love notes she's gotten from other boys in the past. He tries to describe his feelings for her and what she's come to mean to him over the last year. It isn't perfect, not romantic in an expected way, but it is very Nicky.
Unfortunately, not even Nicky Russo's very thoughtful letter can distract her from what today is. The Chinese national team has arrived in Boulder. They'll be arriving at the Rock within the hour. She wouldn't be surprised if the media was already hounding her friends, asking where she is.
"You're doing the right thing, Kaylie," MJ assured her over the phone earlier this morning, though it feels like the exact opposite.
Kaylie has seen the texts and missed calls from Lauren and Emily. She wouldn't be surprised if they hate her, but what else is new?
"Mom!" Kaylie shouts. "I'm going out!"
"To the Rock?" Ronni asks, her voice rising in pitch. It's a hopeful sound that makes Kaylie's gut twist. "I know what MJ suggested, but shouldn't you be there to support your girls even if you aren't competing?"
"Actually, I'm going to see Payson."
"Oh. And seeing if she needs a ride to the Rock…?"
Kaylie gives her mom an expression that says nice try. "I'll see you later."
"Okay, sweetie." Her voice says I trust you. "Drive safe!"
…
"Aw, Nick, it's cute you think you have a choice in this. We are going to Boulder to watch your girlfriends in what promises to be the international train wreck of the year!"
Nicky narrows his eyes at Kelly, who's decidedly too excited about this. "Weren't you and the national team a similar international train wreck?"
"That's already old news. Keep up. And we're taking your car, by the way."
Nicky sighs. "Like I already told Marty, I don't want to be a distraction and throw them off their game. Being a gym traitor and all…"
"Them or just one specific princess?" Kelly's smile has to be the definition of vicious. "God, I can't believe that's her name in your contacts."
Nicky drops his chin into his shoulder and lowers his eyes. "I hate you."
"Oh, my God. Can you be any more dramatic? Would you prefer I make more harem jokes?"
"No. And I'm still not going."
"Well, I'm not going to miss it and my car's still in the shop so…"
"Didn't I hear Ellen Beals asking if you wanted a ride there?"
"You might be fine with people calling you Marty's Pet, but I don't need people thinking I suck up to the NGO."
"But you do."
"Shut up." Kelly smacks him on the arm. "Come on! I know you're making yourself miserable waiting for Kaylie Cruz to call or text or show the smallest sign she knows you exist. Just be a man, go over there and confront her. You've given her time and space. If she still doesn't know what she wants then she isn't as serious about your relationship and at least you'll know instead moping around."
"Who's moping?"
"You're productive, sure, but tense, like your head isn't always where it should be." There she goes again, spitting truths at him. "Ask Marty if you want a second opinion. He'll tell you the same. You really are painfully easy to read."
"Why do you even care? Besides what you get out of it."
"If you even have to ask, it's no wonder why you're so bad with girls." Kelly's annoyance turns to amusement much too quick as she digs into the pocket of her jacket and pulls out a familiar set of car keys.
"You stole my keys?" Nicky really shouldn't be surprised, and isn't.
"Borrowed," she corrects him. "Don't worry, I'll pay for gas. I'm not a total monster."
"Kelly…"
"This is happening, Nick. The international meet in France is coming up and you don't want to leave the country again not knowing where you stand. Stop being a pussy."
With that, Kelly saunters off, leaving Nicky to brood. Maybe Kelly has a point. Not that he will ever admit it to her. Maybe he has let this go on for too long.
When Kelly mentions France, Nicky's lips turn down in a frown. He hasn't even stopped to consider how the lingering ellipsis at the end of their friendship (friendship?) might impact his next competitive performance. Does Kaylie consider him a friend anymore or just a sad almost? It's clear they can't go back to what they once had so where do they go from here? Is she content acting like he doesn't exist? That's what they've been doing, haven't they?
When Kelly mentions France, Nicky doesn't see the ambiguity between him and Kaylie as something to fix before he can get on with his life. He just wants to know if she's okay, if they're okay, if they'll ever be okay again. He needs to know if she's okay because he cares about her and it's as simple as that.
Nicky sighs and shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his Denver Elite jacket. "Parker!"
She finishes whatever she's telling one of the other girls while glaring in his direction. He can already hear her actual voice calling him rude in his head. They really might be around each other too much.
"You aren't driving my car," Nicky says. "And you didn't convince me of anything. It's my decision."
Her lips curl into a satisfied smile, mostly because she knows she's getting her way. A common occurrence at Denver Elite, he's learning. "Don't tell me you're wearing that."
"I'm leaving in twenty with or without you."
"At least fix your hair first!" Kelly shouts after him. "We want Mister Darcy in sportswear, not Zeus fucked a porcupine. Use my ultra stay hairspray!" She digs into her gym bag hanging off one arm and brings out a can of hairspray with an image of her on the bottle, giving a wink and a thumbs up.
"You have a hairspray sponsorship," Nicky says flatly. It isn't a question.
"Duh. Why else would I wear my hair the way I do other than to show off the product?"
"To symbolize your superiority complex and close relationship with Satan."
Again, not a question. And when her only response is to spray him with a noxious cloud of hairspray, he should have really expected it. Nicky backs away and coughs into his elbow, backing away even further when she produces a hairbrush from who-knows-where and demands he bend over so she can fix "that hopeless mess" for him. As annoying as Kelly is, her antics do distract him from freaking out about seeing Kaylie for the first time in weeks and for that, he's grateful.
…
If there's anyone that can help Kaylie unscramble the mess that's her life, it's Payson.
Though Kaylie did her best to step up and be a leader for the other girls at the Rock just as Sasha demanded of her, that will always be Payson's role in her life. Kaylie led by Payson's example until the role came naturally to her and she managed to make it her own. If she wants to move forward with her life, which she's desperate to, it starts with making peace with Payson.
It doesn't surprise her that she tracks Payson down to the clinic she's doing her rehab at. It does surprise her to see Olympic gold medalist Austin Tucker trying to use a set of perambulation parallel bars like actual parallel bars and making Payson laugh in the process. Since when is Payson friendly with the Austin Tucker? How long has it been since they've spoken?
"Am I interrupting?" Kaylie asks from the doorway.
Austin Tucker swings himself off the end of the bars, sticks the landing and does a silly, almost mocking salute. He spins around and gives her a smile she's seen on multiple magazine covers, the exact one she's seen girls at the Rock giggling over.
"What are you doing here?" Payson asks. "The invitation is in a few hours!"
"Why aren't you there?"
"That's what I've been asking her," Austin says.
"I am not competing, you are, Kaylie," Payson points out. "Sasha is probably freaking out!"
Kaylie turns to Austin, not wanting to pour her heart out in front of an olympian, and Nicky's greatest rival. "Could you maybe give us a minute alone?" Kaylie barely waits for him to clear the door before blurting out, "Since when are you pals with the Austin Tucker?"
"Why aren't you at the Rock right now? We can talk later. Kaylie, you need to get going now!"
"MJ told me it's basically career suicide so I texted Summer that I won't be competing today." Kaylie pushes herself up to sit on the nearest examination tables and braces herself for the disappointment she knows is coming. It still stings even when it's expected.
"How could you?" Payson hisses. "How could you do that to Sasha? What about Lauren and Emily and the other girls? You're just going to abandon them? They need you! You're the National Champion! You're supposed to be setting an example!"
"Why not?" Kaylie snaps. "Everyone else abandoned me!"
Tense silence fills the air and she'd be embarrassed if anyone else were in the room. Kaylie is embarrassed. Payson isn't saying anything Kaylie hasn't already thought herself, hated herself for. It feels more real when Payson points out regrets waiting to happen, more shameful.
"I didn't mean to abandon you," Payson says with conviction, the way Payson says everything she means. "I just… I had a lot going on too." She takes a deep breath to sort herself out before saying what she needs to. Kaylie holds her breath. "I've been meaning to call you, but I knew you were preparing for the invitational. That's no excuse, I know. I should apologize for what I said to you at the hospital."
"It isn't—"
"Yes, it is," Payson insists strongly. "After everything that we've been through together, for me to take out my anger over my situation on you wasn't how friends treat each other. And if I somehow messed up any change you and Nicky had to be together, I just want you to know that I didn't mean to. Things were just…all wrong and I didn't know how to handle any of it. Clearly, I handled it badly."
"You were just reacting how anyone would," Kaylie says. "I stole Nicky from you. I don't even know how it happened. He was helping me with my double Arabian and somehow we got close when I shouldn't have. After what Carter and Lauren did to me…"
"Kaylie, you know those are two different things. Nicky and I weren't in a year-long secret relationship and you didn't sleep with him." Payson pauses and raises both eyebrows in question.
"Payson, no!"
The blonde former gymnasts laughs and it makes Kaylie's heart ache. She can't even remember the last time she heard Payson really laugh before now.
"Let's be realistic, Kay," Payson says softly. And hearing her use her nickname plants the seeds of hope. "Yes, I had…a connection with Nicky and it was sweet and nice in the moment, but…so much has happened since then. So much changed. We're all completely different people because of it. Honestly, the other reason I didn't call sooner was… I was afraid… We don't have anything in common besides gymnastics and now we don't even have that."
"Payson! We've been best friends since we were kids. That doesn't just disappear overnight." Kaylie musters ever ounce of courage she has and moves closer to Payson, wrapping her arm around one of her oldest friends. "Kelly Parker and I have gymnastics in common, but you don't see me hugging her, do you?" Payson laughs, hugging her back. "I was afraid too. I thought you hated me and I wanted to avoid knowing that you really did hate me."
"Hate you? What gave you that idea?"
Kaylie chews on her bottom lip. "Um, do you remember the last time we talked? It was awful."
Payson laughs a little. "Yes, the…timing was all off when you came to visit me in the hospital. I was feeling sorry for myself and I took it out on you, but I can't hate you for falling in love with Nicky. You were both honest with me and now that I've had some time, I can respect that."
"What? I'm not in love with Nicky. Payson, that's ridiculous."
Payson studies her for a long moment and Kaylie can't help, but feel completely transparent. Instead of pressing, Payson asks, "How have you been doing since he went to Denver?"
"I've become a stronger, more focused gymnast." Seeing Payson's disbelief, Kaylie nearly stomps her foot. "I mean it! I'll admit, maybe I over reacted when he decided to go Denver. If he thinks training with Marty is better for his gymnastics, good for him."
"But it felt like he was abandoning you?"
Kaylie stares down at her hands that she doesn't know what to do with, fingers twisting and tangling in her lap. "On top of everything with Carter and my dad leaving… I thought I found someone who I could count on. I thought he was different. Then he left and I let him and he left me this confusing letter, saying he wants to be apart of my life, but he didn't say as friends or…"
"Maybe he's leaving that part up to you. What do you want, Kaylie?"
She's been asking herself that a lot lately. For so long now, it felt like she's been frantically trying to juggle everything in her life just to try to keep everything she cares about, everything she is, from crashing and falling apart. She's been so busy living up to what it means to be a leader for Sasha and the team and being in National Champion, wanting anything has taken a backseat.
"I don't want to be the thing I hate most," Kaylie says, trying to puzzle out her own words even as she says them. "I can't abandon Sasha and the Rock when they were there for me… I've got my team, Leo's home, my mom… I'm going to show up for the people who show up for me. And I'm going to show up for myself because I worked my ass off to achieve my dream."
Payson grins. "See. You didn't need me to tell you what to do. You made that decision all on your own." Payson carefully maneuvers into her wheelchair with practiced ease. "Well, what are you waiting for? We better get there before it's too late."
"You're coming too?"
"It's about time I showed up for the people that support me too."
"Count me in!" Austin Tucker shouts from just the other side of the door.
Kaylie props her hands up on her hips, not amused. "You were listening the whole time?"
"Are you surprised?" Austin chuckles. If he feels an ounce of guilt for eavesdropping on their very personal conversation, he doesn't show it, not even a little bit. "You know, a lot of people in the gymnastics community talk about you Rock Girls and your team mentality and how it's the reason the Rock has so many girls on the national team."
"And that's what's making you consider training at the Rock?" Payson asks.
Kaylie blinks hard. "Wait, you want to train at the Rock?"
"It was apart of the appeal," Austin says. "Mostly I was curious about Sasha Belov returning to the sport and once I heard about him propositioning the Chinese, I had to see it for myself. I love an international smackdown. Speaking of, we better get going before we miss it."
"I'll call Lauren and Emily and tell them to stall," Payson says, taking charge like always. "Perks of breaking your back, they can't say no to me."
"Thank you, Payson," Kaylie whispers.
"Don't thank me. I know you'd do it for me too."
Kaylie doesn't even have to think about that. She absolutely would.
…
"Well, it looks like your girlfriend isn't competing."
Sitting in the back, face mostly obscured by the hood of his jacket, Nicky turns to Kelly so quickly, he tweaks something in his neck and suppresses a wince. She would probably laugh at him if her attention wasn't on the girls warming-up. No Kaylie in sight.
"Her manager probably advised her not to," Kelly continues. "It's exactly what my mom would do. This isn't even an NGO-sanctioned competition. I mean, if they somehow manage to beat China, it makes the NGO look bad." Her scoff implies and me. "If they don't, they can kiss their careers goodbye."
Nicky stands without saying anything and heads for the nearest exit. He hears Kelly call out after him, saying she's going to be pissed if he tries to bail and leave her here without a ride. He takes his phone out of his back pocket and dials Kaylie's cell phone. It goes straight to voicemail.
"Kaylie," Nicky says, feeling out the sound of her name and the way it rolls off his tongue. "Pick up, Princess."
"Nick," Kelly says his name sharply.
He tries to call her again. Voicemail again. Damn it.
"I was sure she'd…" Nicky mutters, half to Kelly, half to himself. "She isn't like me. She cares about her teammates and her friends. I never understood that before I met her. I learned that from her. She wouldn't just not show up. Do you think something happened?"
"Nick!"
"What, Kelly!"
"Turn around, dumbass."
He turns around and sees that Kelly isn't alone. Kaylie, Payson and Austin Tucker are standing behind him, all staring at him. He feels his face and the tips of his ears burn red hotter than the sun.
Austin Tucker laughs. "Wow, this is so embarrassing for you."
"Can you guys give us a minute?" Kaylie asks.
"We'll tell Sasha you're here and to stall," Payson says. Austin takes over the handles of her wheelchair and doesn't even lower his voice when he asks Payson for the context of whatever they just witnessed.
When Kelly remains, arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed at Kaylie, Kaylie narrows her eyes right back. "What are you? His body guard?"
Nicky sighs. "Kelly, please? Give us a minute?"
"Since you asked so nicely," Kelly says. "I'll save you a seat, Nick."
"Nowhere near Ellen Beals," Nicky calls out after her and gets a dismissive hand gesture in return. He turns his attention to Kaylie and can only describe her expression as judgmental. Remembering she showed up with Austin Tucker, he gives her a similar expression.
"'Kelly, please?' What the hell is that?" Kaylie asks just as Nicky says, "Austin Tucker? What the hell is he doing here?"
They stare at each other for a long, silent moment. She doesn't look any different from the last time they saw each other. Her hair is pulled up into her usual high ponytail and she's wearing her competition leo under warmups. He's probably a bit scruffier than she remembers. Kelly calls it his comeback beard though she loves making snipe comments about her serious doubts that can actually grow one. And it's probably best not to mention that to Kaylie.
"He's a friend of Payson's apparently," Kaylie says. "And Kelly's a friend of yours apparently."
"We train together."
"Oh, like we used to train together?" Kaylie motions between them, talking with her hands the way she does when she's nervous. He's missed that.
"No," Nicky replies. More silence. "I don't know how much you heard, but I meant it. I'm sorry if I made you feel like my gymnastics was more important than you. It's not. Every time I land a new move or perfect my dismount, you're the first person I want to tell."
"Really?"
Her smile, how proud of him she is, makes him smile. "Yeah. Then I'd remembered we weren't…and it didn't feel how it should…"
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to choose between me and gymnastics," Kaylie says. "I shouldn't have. I shouldn't. It was selfish. I was so upset about being disappointed by people in my life that I totally forgot about the people who were always there for me and always supportive and how I should be supportive in return. So… You like it in Denver?"
Nicky nods with caution like he's expecting the worst reaction from her.
"Good," Kaylie says. "I'm happy for you. We can talk more later, but I think I made the team wait long enough…"
"So you are here to compete? You decided to?"
She nods. "MJ is going to lose it, but I made up my mind. I'm a Rock Girl. It's my home. I took lead when we got into this thing, and I'm going to fight alongside my teammates to get through it."
"Good for you, Kaylie. I mean it. You're going to be great. You already are great. No matter the outcome today."
Knowing he can't embarrass himself any more than he already has and feeling bold, Nicky reaches out and takes her hand in his. When she doesn't jerk away, but weaves her fingers through his, he feels like he stuck the landing. She's walking away a moment later, before he has a chance to ask about the equally embarrassing letter he wrote her, but she has a reason to be walking away, a goal to accomplish, and he's content watching her go.
…
Her shoulders feel lighter as Kaylie marches into the gym that's been her playground and her home for more than half her life. She feels lighter even with all of the noise from the crowd anticipating her failure. Her fingers squeeze hard around the strap of her gym bag as she goes right up to Sasha, who feels like he's moments away from exploding.
"Sasha, I—"
"I don't want to hear it." His jaw tenses like there's more he wants to say to her, but not here, not with all the eyes on them. His eyes are like slits of ice that burn into her, conveying everything he won't say in a public setting. "Are you here to compete? Are you ready to give your all and nothing tell?"
Kaylie stands a little straighter and squares her shoulders. "Yes, coach."
"Very well. Join your team. I want you all on the same page. Be the leader I know you are."
Kaylie closes her eyes for a moment and nods her head. He still believes in her after all of the disappearing acts she's pulled. While she expected a demotion and disappointment, Sasha still wants her front and center leading the team into the heart of battle. It fills her with confidence and pride. She tries to hold on to that when she turns to face Lauren and Emily and the other girls.
"What the hell, Kay?" Lauren shouts.
"Where've you been?" Emily asks just as urgently.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here. I was having second thoughts, but a friend gave me a push." Kaylie glances over to where Payson is introducing Leo to Austin. She can see her brother trying not go into total fanboy mode. How embarrassing for him and her by extension. "What matters is that I'm here. We're going to do this together."
Kaylie shares a look with Lauren and then Emily, both as hungry and determined as she is. They can do this. They are going to do this.
…
They did it.
Genji Cho still sweeps all events except beam, but they did better than the US national team did in the official competition.
Kaylie did it.
She ends up with silver on floor, but a gold on beam, nailing her added triple twist.
They did it.
Sent shockwaves through the gymnastics world and pissed off their own organization.
At first, Kaylie worried how Lauren might take silver on beam, but she doesn't seem too upset, especially with her boyfriend, Razor, doting on her at the afterparty. The moment she hobbles into the Pizza Shack, the head pizza boy hurdles over the counter, which can't be sanitary (not that the 'Shack is very sanitary in general) to wait on her hand and foot. Emily acts only a little put-off after being completely ignored by the boy she knew longer (and rejected on prom night), but not even she can bring herself to complain, seeing how totally into each other they are.
Meanwhile, Kaylie sits alone, happy to observe everyone she cares about celebrating an overall win for all of them. Even though it leaves them with an uncertain future in the sport.
They did it. They did better in competition against the Chinese national team than the American team the NGO handpicked. The shock on Kelly Parker's face had been almost as satisfying as how absolutely pissed Ellen Beals was. A woman like that doesn't take defeat very well and will not stop her vendetta against Sasha and the Rock, but those are problems for another day.
Their victory requires celebration.
Ronni mentions her comeback album to Chloe Kmetko who goes into fangirl mode the only way Chloe Kmetko knows how—loudly. The divorce papers are signed and on their way to the lawyers. Ronni's already planning an album launch, but put off the idea of a tour until Alex finally comes around and they discuss their family situations. Ronni won't leave Kaylie home alone to go on tour, but she's definitely going to pursue her own dream in this second act.
Austin Tucker has only left Payson's side long enough to flirt with Emily, who deflected his attempt right off the bat and have a short exchange with Sasha that ends in a handshake. All sorts of people gravitate toward him, some even ask for autographs, but he hangs on Payson's every word. That should be an interesting development moving forward, especially if he decides to train at the Rock. If Nicky were here, he would be absolutely fuming from afar.
Speaking of, the only reason he isn't here right now, sitting in the corner of another party, judging everyone and asking when he can leave, is Kelly Parker. Apparently, he drove her to Boulder and had to drive her back. Kaylie still doesn't know what to make of that, even less the photos of the two of them together painting the internet and the latest tabloids.
When she catches Carter staring at her longingly from the kitchen, Kaylie turns her attention to her cell phone, typing:
Are you still going to make it?
Send.
We didn't get a chance to talk…
Send.
There's still so much to talk about. His letter, Kelly Parker's place in his life, her place in his life.
She feels jittery just thinking about it.
She feels the actual vibration of her phone when Nicky replies:
Can't. Emergency meeting with MJ. :/
She imagines him making that exact expression and feels warmth bloom in her chest.
Kaylie nearly groans at the thought of the multiple missed calls she has from MJ and the lengthy voicemail she left her. Kaylie hasn't even thought to listen to it, not wanting anything to kill her mood. That can wait until morning.
Every time the front door opens and slams shut after, Kaylie glances up. She tells herself not be hopeful her dad shows up. She tells herself not to be disappointed every time it isn't him. Some people choose to avoid their problems, something she tried herself. Some people are better at it than others. Sometimes that's life.
We can't control other people's actions. She tries not to think about that (him) as to not sour the celebratory mood either.
When Damon's song plays on the radio and Emily makes a mad dash to reconnect with him, Kaylie insists on driving her. She finds herself inspired too.
After dropping off Emily, Kaylie makes a beeline for Nicky Russo's Denver apartment building. He's the only face she wants to see after what might be the best day of her life, even better than winning Nationals.
"Kaylie?" Nicky squints as if unsure she's there right now. "What are you doing here?"
And his confusion makes her feel like an idiot for rushing over here. Hopefully Emily's having more luck in the rash romantic gesture department than she is.
"I-I wanted to see you," she says. "We didn't get a chance to talk like we said…"
"Yeah, well, you were a little preoccupied, enjoying your moment in the spotlight." Nicky tilts his head to one side and gives her this smile that makes all of her worries melt away. "Did you bring me pizza?"
"Pizza! How could I forget? And here I thought seeing me would be enough for you."
"You are enough, Kaylie," he tells her, so serious all of a sudden. "But you and pizza would have been nice."
"Are you going to let me in or keep me waiting out here all night?"
He does let her into the building. He stares at her all throughout the elevator ride up to the eleventh floor in this way that makes her squirm. She stares right back, trying to fight back how much she wants to smiles. It's intense, but not in a scary way. It feels good to be looked at by someone she wants to be seen by.
"What?" Kaylie finally asks.
"You stuck the double Arabian. And the added triple twist on beam." He looks her up and down with a cool nod. "Not bad, Cruz."
"Not bad? That's all you have to say."
"Now let's see if you can do it in actual international competition. There's no way they can keep any of you from the meet in France."
"I mean, we basically told Ellen Beals and the NGO to go screw themselves, but it's too late to take it back now."
When the elevator doors slide open, Nicky extends an arm and motions her out ahead of him. "Yeah, you're all screwed, but at least you're all screwed together."
"Yep. That's what it means to be a team." Kaylie bites her lip as she watches Nicky fish his keys out of his pocket and unlock the front door. "Is that what Kelly Parker is to you?"
"Oh, I have no doubt that Kelly would throw me under the bus to save her own ass even if I did memorize the Denver Elite jingles. They have a lot of jingles." He ducks his head to hide his smile, but she sees it. He really does love it there. "It's professional, I swear. It might be even more professional if MJ gets her way…"
Kaylie winces. "Did she mention me?"
"Not in so many words, but I can occasionally read between the lines, pick up body language, things like that."
"Oh, that's new."
"And MJ is definitely pissed at you. Since Kelly and I train at the same gym, we're represented by the same agency, and look good next to each other in matching silver medals apparently, you're going to see more of us together for publicity things. Joy."
"Payson, Lauren and me at the same party and now Kelly Parker? Aren't you gymnastics' casanova." Kaylie invites herself into his spacious apartment and shoulders into him just lightly.
Nicky scoffs. "The media doesn't know about Payson and no, that's still Austin Tucker."
"After all that, I feel less bad about telling you Austin Tucker plans to make 'Rock Boys' a thing."
"He thinks Sasha's going to coach him?"
"Something tells Austin Tucker would put Sasha's inattentiveness in the pro column."
Kaylie walks through the open concept living space that's just as sparsely decorated as their mansion and straight to the wall of glass that overlooks Denver. Driving into the city had been a treat for her as a child, seeing the big buildings, going to an occasional concert her mom got free tickets to or seeing her father play baseball at Coors Field. Then she associated it with their forever rival Denver Elite, Payson in the hospital, and now Nicky.
"I got your flowers," she says, when she can still sense Nicky grumbling about Austin Tucker as he goes through the house, turning on lights. He stops in his tracks and turns to face her, looking so unsure of himself. "They were beautiful and so was your letter."
"I meant every word." Nicky takes much more sure steps until he's standing right in front of her. "I'm not…good with words, spoken or written, but I did. I meant it."
"You really think we can heal together? Be each other's sun?"
The lamp doesn't give them adequate light, but Kaylie doesn't need that to know his face is probably red. He isn't adept at this, talking about feelings and putting himself out there. She had once just to get burned. This is new territory for him and she has to find it in her to try again with someone new. It comes easier than she would have expected before befriending him.
"I don't think we should revolve around each other," Nicky says, "but be together, if that's something you want…"
"And not just as friends?" she asks.
"No, Princess," he says with much more certainty and steps even closer. "Even when we were just friends, I've never had a friend like you before."
"No?" She shifts forward, bringing them even closer. "What about a girlfriend?"
"No."
"So there's something I know more about than Nicky Russo, huh?" Kaylie gasps dramatically.
"What are you saying, National Champion Kaylie Cruz, the first ever female gymnast to snatch gold away from Genji Cho? Even though it technically doesn't count, it still happened. I knew you could do it, by the way. That's what I was trying to say in the elevator."
"No you didn't." Kaylie slips her arms around his neck. His arms encircle her waist in response.
"I knew you were capable of it. I learned not to doubt you a while ago. Once you set your mind on something, it's probably best to get out of your way."
"Does that extend outside of gymnastics?" Kaylie bites her bottom lip. "What if I wanted to kiss you? Or call you my boyfriend?"
"Are you sure?" Nicky asks. She nods, never breaking eye contact. "What about the Rock's no dating rule? What happened to your PSA about Kaylie Cruz being over love?"
"If anything, I'd say I became a better gymnast while we were together, even just as friends. But I do, Nicky, I want to be that with you, heal together. So while you're publicly associating with Kelly Parker and training with her—" Kaylie can't resist rolling her eyes. She's human after all. "—we'll know the truth, what's real."
"You don't mind dating a gym traitor?"
"I can't say I'm excited about not seeing you in the gym every day…" Or you being in Denver with Marty and Kelly, she adds in her head. "But I get it. Like I said, you're an amazing gymnast and you need to do what you think is best for you. We have to do what we have to do to achieve our dreams. We have the rest of our lives to figure it out."
"Okay." Nicky nods and his eyes never leave hers.
His eyes tip her off to what's happening before he actually touches her cheek and draws closer. For someone with such sharp edges and a persona of ice and arrogance, he touches her with a gentleness she would not have thought he was capable mere months ago. Long, dark lashes flutter over deep brown eyes is the last thing Kaylie sees before feeling the press of his soft lips against her forehead.
"You can be a pain and a brat, Kaylie." His lips brush her cheek. "But you care more about others than anyone I've ever met." He kisses her other cheek. "You make me care. For so long, I guess I lived in my own little world where all I cared about was gymnastics, but now… you make me want to live in the world with you."
"And gymnastics," Kaylie adds, letting her hands trail up his chest and rest around his shoulder.
He chuckles, ducking his head into the minimal space between them. "And gymnastics."
He's cute, but he's taking too long, Kaylie thinks just before she threads her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck and kisses him. It's just as abrupt as the last time she kissed him, but less desperate. It's sweet and so full of promise for the future. Kissing Nicky Russo is like flying down a runway, hurling onto the springboard and taking off in flight.
Kaylie pulls away at the sound of the front door opening, a little dazed, a little breathless. She catches sight of Nicky, eyes still closed, his mouth chasing hers, wanting more, wanting her. It makes her breath hitch.
"Nicky! I hope you didn't eat yet! I brought dinner!"
Annoyance at being interrupted flashes across Nicky's face and Kaylie isn't sure the serious, android gymnast has ever looked like such a boy. She smooths away flyaway strands of hair from her face and purses her lips, turning her attention to Dr. Russo just as he notices his son isn't alone.
"Kaylie Cruz." Dr. Russo smiles warmly. "I didn't know you'd be here. Nicky doesn't tell me anything…"
The playful quality to his voice at the end makes Kaylie smile.
"I surprised him, actually," Kaylie says.
"Good. Now, come eat before the food gets cold." Mr. Russo takes the takeout bags into the next room, leaving Nicky and Kaylie alone once again.
"This has been happening a lot lately," Nicky says. "Him making an effort. It's…weird."
"But a good weird?" she asks.
Nicky shrugs his broad shoulders more because he doesn't want to say it, but she knows him, knows the truth without him having to say it. She can't help, but think about her own father, how she wishes he would make an effort too. Maybe he will when he's ready. But she can't hold out for him. She won't put her life on hold for him or anyone.
Feeling Nicky's hand on her arm, his touch as gentle as his kiss, pulls her back from that train of thought that could have easily took a turn toward the dark. His eyes express his concern, but he doesn't have to voice it. She knows without him having to say it. He cares. Instead of dwelling, Kaylie leans up and kisses his cheek.
"Come on, let's not keep your dad waiting," Kaylie says, tugging on his hand.
"Not my ideal first date," Nicky grumbles beneath his breath.
"Oh? Android Boy Nicky Russo has an 'ideal first date,' huh? This should be good."
He flusters, evident by the rosiness of his cheeks, but tries to deny it even to himself with his signature arrogant scoff. "Maybe I'll show you one day. If you're lucky."
"If I'm lucky, huh?" She shoves him into the next room, only semi-playfully.
"Nah," Nicky ducks his head, "I'm the lucky one."
And she would definitely kiss him again if his father wasn't setting the table for three and scolding his son about one thing or another. Nicky's ready with a retort, but it's less venomous than before, more comfortable, teasing even.
Sitting down to eat dinner with her boyfriend and his father, Kaylie thinks back to the first day she thought she fell in love with Nicky Russo. It's much easier to pinpoint than the day she fell in love with him. Could it have been their late night practice before the Rock's annual open house or once she realizes how the spite had faded from his voice every time he called her "Princess."
Was it after she claimed her first national title or just before she won gold on floor and he won gold on rings at the 2012 Olympics in London? She'll never forget how she ran straight into his arms afterwards, memorizing the feel of their medals, their dreams, and accomplishments snug and safe between their heaving chests and bodies buzzing with adrenaline. Maybe falling in love is a process, one that can't be tied down to a specific moment, but a collection of them, most good, some bad, but always full of love and trust.
All Nicky and Kaylie can agree on, so many years later, is that the difference between being in a relationship with the person you love and not is the difference between winning gold at the Olympics and watching someone else live your dream on TV from home.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Obviously, there's a lot I would change and add and fix, but then it would be a totally different story and not TDB. Anyway, drop me a line if you wanna chat or reminisce! I am happy to do that!