A/N at bottom, per usual :)


Now That You're Here

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Truces may stop the battles, but part of you will always feel like you're at war."― David Levithan

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Chapter Sixteen

Truce

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"Alice is an idiot."

I turn from the open dresser as Rosalie enters and sits on the corner of the bed. "Did you know I was coming?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No. And I didn't know Edward was coming either. It was kind of a last-minute thing. If I'd known you'd be here, I'd have never let him come."

"It's his family, Rosalie." I lean against the dresser and cross my arms. "I'm the one intruding- I shouldn't be here."

"You deserve to be with your friends." She says adamantly.

"And he deserves to be with his family."

She bites her lip for a moment, her face scrunched up as if in deep thought. "Whether-" she takes a deep breath, "whether you want to admit it or not, he took advantage of you. He put you in a situation where you had no choice but to agree to his so-called deal."

"I don't think you have come to terms with your thoughts or emotions, and I think you need the support of your friends now more than ever. I took care of you after the Gala and I saw what it did to you- how torn up you were over it. Don't let yourself suffer alone- not when I can help."

I grab the hem of my sweater, twisting the fabric in my fingers as I try to blink away the water that begins to line my eyes. "I don't know how I can be here. I don't know if I can be here- not when he's only a few feet away from me."

"Look," she says softly "I understand if you want to leave, but I really hope you stay. I can make sure you never run into him while you're here."

I chuckle slightly, despite myself. "I don't need a bodyguard- although I'm sure you'd make a great one, but this is a lot. I'm still trying to come to terms with everything. He did take advantage of me, initially. He never took sexual advantage of me, and I consent to it every time, but I could have also refused, and I didn't."

"No, don't blame yourself." She grabs my hands, squeezing gently. "I've known Edward for a long time, and I never thought he would do something like this, but that doesn't make you responsible for his actions. He took advantage of your situation, and just because you agreed to it, doesn't make any of it your fault. It's going to take a while to heal- and to be honest, you may never truly get over it, but you can eventually put yourself in a situation where this will not define you. This will not stop you from having the best damn bookstore in the world if you want."

A choked laugh bursts through me. "What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?" I hug her tightly. "I'll stay."

xXx

Rosalie and I talk for a while longer, before making our way back to the living room.

There is quiet chatter through the room, pointed words between Alice and Edward. Rosalie gives my hand a squeeze of encouragement, as she makes her way over to Emmett and his parents.

I take a breath, stilling myself for a conversation that I don't want to have, but must. And yet I know this conversation will only delay the inevitable conversation that I must have with the each separately. Walking up to Alice and Edward, I look them both in the eyes and say as calmly as possible "Can I speak to you both for a minute?"

Alice's nod is one of regret, and very much reminds me of a scolded child, while Edward's nod is sad, and somewhat confused, as he looks between me and Alice.

They both follow me outside onto the back porch, where the wind blows precariously.

I fold my hands across my chest, waiting as Edward slides the glass door shut, before turning to look at me. "I want to call a truce." I say to them both, my voice calm and steady, despite my rumbling nerves. "I don't want to intrude on your family reunion."

I hold up my hand, silencing them when they both begin to protest. "But I also want to be with my friends for Christmas- which means I want to be with you, Alice, and Rosalie- despite you lying to me."

"I didn't lie to you!" Her voice is adamant as she takes one small step towards me.

"Lying by omission is still a form of lying. Did you know Edward was who I was going to see, when I went to discuss the loan on the bookstore?"

She shakes her head. "I didn't know who the loan was through, until we had lunch- after you agreed to the contract to be his employee." I see Edward stiffen beside her. "But when I figured it out, I didn't want to say anything, because I could see how much you'd changed."

"Changed?"

"Bella, you were sad- so sad after your father died. No matter what I did, I didn't feel like I was making a difference. There was a part of you missing, and after you met him- I could see you coming back to me. I was afraid you'd be mad at me. I was afraid you'd disappear again."

I give a small, humorless laugh. "Alice, it's not like you can change who you're related to. You've known me for years; you should have known I wouldn't have held something like that against you. It's the fact that you knew all along, and you still didn't tell me."

She purses her lips. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Edward says, when my gaze lands on him. And I know that's not the only thing he's apologizing for. "I didn't know that you knew my cousin."

I hold up my hands to the both of them as a peace offering. "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. And Lord knows, I can't deal with the past right now. That's why I called you guys out here. I want a truce."

They both nod, regarding me curiously. "I don't want to talk about what happened, if we can help it. This is a holiday- a time to be cheerful and jovial towards one another, and I'd hate to ruin that while I'm here. I know we have a lot to talk about, and I promise you, I'm willing to talk to you both," I say, my eyes resting on Edward. "but after Christmas. Let's just go about things normally. Can you both do that?"

Their nods make me loose a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Good. Now let's go salvage the rest of the evening."


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Short Chapter, but hey, at least I posted something in a reasonable time period (yay, gold star for me).

Thank you guys for your kind words and support. It honestly makes a big difference. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday and wish that you all have a happy happy New Year! XXO