Author's Note: I know this took much longer than anyone wanted (including me) but here it is... baked it myself, words and all. Seriously, please review. I actually really struggled with this chapter. I wasn't sure how I wanted to take it. So you can say a huge thank you to Astraearose-silvermoon for talking me through it! She's the best.

Updated 1/29/20: Just a little editing here to give the guys a different reason to be late and to fix a few errors because I typed it up so fast.

Don't Push Me: A New Take On Sailor Moon R
Chapter Fourteen
Living Memory

As a group, Mamoru, Haruki, and the Shitennou walked towards the park where the sakura festival was being held. They'd received permission to miss school to attend, but had been asked to come in and do some testing first. That had taken just over an hour, and Mamoru was missing a certain blonde. He wished they all could have come together. He could hear the others talking, but it was difficult not to become distracted by thoughts of his upcoming proposal to Usagi.

"You can't tell me it hasn't crossed your mind," Zoicite said, laughing.

Mamoru rolled his eyes. Zoicite was teasing Kunzite, again, about being with Minako. It seemed rather stupid. Even he wouldn't push the leader of his men too far, and he was their prince. Zoicite however, didn't seem to realize how precarious his situation was. The man continued teasing as they walked, and Mamoru shook his head at the young man's stupidity.

"She wants you too," he said, "why don't you just go for it? Scared?"

Kunzite whirled around and glared at Zo, who backed away, finally understanding that Kunzite was barely under control. "Scared?" Kunzite snarled. "Yes, I'm scared. I'm scared of ever hurting her again. Scared of moving too fast and making her hate me. Scared of anything that will come between us and our happy ending. Now shut up!" He was panting by the end.

Mamoru moved slightly, reaching out to touch his friend's shoulder.

"It's alright," he said. "When both of you are ready, it will happen. Until then," he added, looking from one face to another, "none of you are to tease or pressure each other about it. No mistakes. Remember, the girls are younger in this life than when you fell in love before. They've had a rough time of it as well. Most of them have very little family or friends. They need support, not pushing for sex. Understood?"

All four of his men nodded and Kunzite gave him a grateful look. That settled, Mamoru turned back to the path. They were all walking towards the park, where the sakura blossom festival was in high swing. Mamoru couldn't wait to get there and see Usagi again. He missed her already. He wished they weren't so much later than the girls, but the testing had been important. They showed aptitude for certain subjects and helped their teachers guide them. Especially the Shitennou needed them, mostly because they had been out of school for several years.

"Have they really had such a bad life?" Zoicite asked in a quiet voice, bringing him back to the present. "Ami always smiles when she's with me. I thought she was happy."

Mamoru sighed. "She is happy... now. Usagi saw the problem and fixed it. And honestly, all five are pretty happy in spite of the challenges they've faced. They are incredibly strong, brave, and loyal to each other. They have faced something at a young age that most people twice our age would run from, and they rose to the challenge. The fact that we're here proves that." He paused, making sure Zoicite was listening as he continued.

"But you have to keep in mind, they were forced to fight against you, forced to see what happened to you in the end. Not to mention they've all been extremely unlucky when it comes to dating. Can you imagine not understanding what the Soul-Bond is and every time you try to date, something tears it apart because you can never be happy with anyone other than your soulmate? They had no clue why they could never find love. Think about what that did to them."

Mamoru shook his head and went on. "Each of them has had their own trials. Rei's mother died and her father couldn't handle it. Shipped her off to her grandfather. Ami's father left and even her mother doesn't know why. Minako's parents suddenly turned against her when they moved to England and she still doesn't know why. Makoto lost both of her parents and has been raising herself. And Usagi..." he frowned.

"What?" Zoicite asked. "She's the happiest person I know."

"Usagi had a wonderful life," he said, "mostly. She lost a sister at a very young age. She suffered because she wasn't a Senshi in her last life and felt she could never measure up to the others. The dreams that helped her remember also made her feel her death over and over. And her self-esteem is just," he shook his head.

"That's partly my fault. I teased her about everything from her grades to her hair for so long I'm sure she started to believe it. Can you believe she actually thought I didn't want her? That's on me. And with all of these dreams, and a destiny she can't avoid, and me being taken and turned against her, she's had it just as rough as the others. What they need, all of them, is support and a champion. Someone who will never back down or walk away, someone who will never leave them, never make them feel unworthy. Do you understand?"

Zoicite nodded, but stayed silent. Mamoru hoped he had gotten through to him. The last thing Ami needed was to be pushed into reforming their Soul-Bond before she was ready, or to ever feel unloved by her soulmate. Zoicite too needed time, to know who he was now, and to accept and truly deal with what had been done to him.

He was about to speak again when a shaft of panic speared through him. Stopping on the path, he looked around. There was nothing to fear here. There was only one other place it could have come from.

Usagi!

The change happened instantly, as it had many times before, but Mamoru, or Tuxedo Kamen, knew she hadn't transformed. Still she was in danger. More danger than he could understand. She was with the other girls and should have been safe.

As he raced towards her, he felt her pain, as though she was being beaten, and then she seemed to struggle for air. A thought made it through to him. She was crying out to him with her last bit of strength. She needed him, and he felt as though he was a million miles away. Lungs burning and heart pounding, he put on an even greater burst of speed.

Leaping from tree to tree, Tuxedo Kamen raced to save the love of his life. When he got to where he could feel her, she wasn't there. The ground was messed up, as though someone had been digging, but he didn't see her anywhere, only a shred of her pink sundress fluttering from a broken branch on the ground. Instead of Usagi, he saw the creep Seijoru walking away.

White-hot rage consumed him as he saw the boy look over his shoulder and smirk. A primal scream tore out of his throat as he launched himself across the grass, tackling the boy to the ground. "Where is she?" he demanded. "Where?"

Seijoru laughed. "Looks like you lost her," he said.

His gloved hands closed around Seijoru's neck. "If you don't tell me where she is, I'll kill you," he warned, more desperate than he had ever been before. Without Usagi, there was no point to his existence. "Tell me!" Spittle flew out of his mouth as he screamed and shook the kid in his fists. Seijoru's face turned red, but his eyes were full of glittering malice and superiority.

He felt despair, realizing Seijoru felt he had won and would never tell him what had happened to Usagi. An image of the sword Serenity had used to take her life when he had died shimmered in his vision. If he lost her, the world could burn for all he cared. He would follow her into death and pray their next life gave them a better chance. His hands squeezed tighter around Seijoru's throat.

"Usagi!" someone shouted. Turning his head to look, he saw Haruki and Minako digging in ground.

Minako was crying, screaming for Usagi as she pushed piles of dirt to either side. Realization dawned on him. Usagi had been buried alive. A blow to the head knocked Seijoru unconscious. He would deal with him later. He tore back across the area to the hole, pushing Haruki aside, and lifted great heaps of dirt using his powers. He moved so much, so fast, that it coated him and everyone around him.

Then he saw the pink of her dress, wisps of blonde hair, and finally, the tip of Usagi's nose. When they found her, Tuxedo Kamen gasped in pain. She was pale, lifeless, and not breathing at all. Dirt clogged her nose and mouth. Usagi was dead. His soulmate, the love of his life and reason for breathing, was dead.

Tears poured down Mamoru's cheeks as he reached through the dirt and lifted her body out, pulling her into his arms. "Usagi!" he sobbed, and buried his face into her neck. "Usagi, no! Usagi!"

Death was peaceful. Actually, it was sort of nice. There was no pain anymore, and she just floated in empty darkness, a void that seemed to stretch on forever. She had no form, no weight. She felt alone however, and that was frightening. Always, she had assumed that when she died her aunt would be there to greet her, and perhaps the little sister she had lost long ago. Or her grandparents. But she was utterly alone. Still, there was such peace that she couldn't bring herself to mind very much.

"Princess."

Usagi started and turned to look. How she turned in the nothingness that surrounded her, or how she could see the person who had spoken, she couldn't say. She felt surprise, and a touch of awe. Hovering in front of her, tiny in form, and with a silver nimbus surrounding her, was Queen Serenity. Living memory, the mother of Princess Serenity wore a small half-smile and her eyes showed concern.

"Queen Serenity..." Usagi murmured. Perhaps she wasn't to be left alone in death after all. "I thought I would be alone forever," she said, surprised to find that it made her sad.

"Of course not, my daughter. I am always with you. I am happy that you still need me." She reached out and Usagi felt warmth in her small hands. "But you must not stay here, like this, or you will die."

"I thought I was already dead," Usagi admitted.

"No. You are trapped under the earth, by the creature that was called forward. Even now you are dying, and you must get up. You must fight against this evil."

Usagi shook her head sadly. "I can't. My brooch..." She held out her own hand and showed the remains of her destroyed transformation aid. How it was here if she was unconscious, she didn't understand, but if anyone could help her it was the queen.

As soon as she held the brooch out, she found herself in a different place, standing in the palace from her former life, wearing the long white gown with golden trim she had worn so long ago. Looking at the perfection of the moon kingdom, at the height of it's glory, brought tears to her eyes. Fountains burbled with fresh flowing water, music played somewhere in the distance, and the light of the sun cast a silver glow over the landscape.

"How are we here?" she asked.

There was no answer from the queen, who now stood in front of her. Instead the mother of her old life hugged her tightly. When she pulled back, Queen Serenity covered Usagi's open palm and the broken brooch with both her hands, and smiled. The silver crystal appeared between them, hovering. "Use the Crystal, Princess, and you can make a new brooch, one that will not fail to defeat these new monsters. Your power has outgrown the old."

Usagi bowed her head as her hand closed around the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou. Please create a new brooch to help me fight against our new enemies, she thought, and give me the strength to do what has to be done.

When she opened her eyes again, Queen Serenity smiled. "Go now Usagi. Go, or you will die."

"I love you," Usagi whispered.

"Usagi!" someone called. "Usagi, no! Usagi!"

Blinking her eyes open suddenly, Usagi realized she was held in Tuxedo Kamen's arms. He had his face to her neck and she felt hot tears landing on her skin. It took a long moment to remember how to breathe. Then she choked. There was dirt in her nose and mouth. Spitting it out, she sucked in a breath, sobbing at the painful burn in her lungs. She began to cough and felt herself being turned.

Mamoru was muttering, "come back to me. Come on, breathe. I've got you."

When Usagi could breath properly again she took the tissue someone pressed into her hands and wiped away the dirt around her nose, which was running, and then wrapped her arms around Mamoru's neck, taking comfort in the familiar feel and smell of him. She looked over his shoulder. The others were all standing around them. Haruki and Minako were both covered in dirt, leaves, and in Haruki's case, a worm in his hair. Dirt smudged their cheeks and covered their clothing. Usagi thought they looked more beautiful than ever.

She heard Mamoru sigh with relief. Suddenly she felt all the pain that had been missing in her state, and nearly screamed at the anguish each breath caused. She was sure several of her ribs were broken. Warmth flowed over her then, and a golden light surrounded her. "It's okay Usako," Mamoru said, "it's okay to just breathe."

Again she took a deep breath, and this time there was no pain. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared up at Mamoru. His pain and anguish ate at her more than her own. He had believed she was dead. Reaching up, she touched his cheek, then wrapped her hand behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. It didn't last long however as he seemed more concerned with staring into her eyes.

"Thank the Kami you're alright," he murmured. "I thought I'd lost you."

Usagi shook her head, then rested it on his shoulder, grateful that he and the others had come to her rescue. She still clutched her new brooch in her hand, and lifted it to show Mamoru. "The Cardian destroyed it," she said. "This is a new one."

Mamoru clenched his teeth and nodded. "I guess you were right about Seijoru," he said. "When I'm finished with him..." he trailed off, standing with Usagi clasped tightly to his chest. When he turned he let out an angry growl. "Where is he?" Mamoru demanded angrily.

"He must have escaped," Kunzite said, bowing low, his face pulled into a frown. "I was so worried about Usagi-sama I forgot to set a watch. Forgive me Master."

"None of that," Mamoru said harshly. "You are my men, not my servants. You know I hate that master talk." Shaking his head, he continued, "all of us were wrapped up in whether she would make it or not. I can't blame you any more than I blame myself. Now that we know who he is, he won't get far."

"He probably figured out who you are as well, which means he knows who Usagi is," Ami said. She had tear streaks over her cheeks and dirt on her dress.

The others began to crowd closer, all of them reaching out to pat Usagi's shoulder, slap Mamoru's back, or lean in for a brief hug. Usagi was feeling a little overwhelmed and just wanted to rest, but she knew she would have to go back to the festival, at least for a short time. Permission had been given, but she had to do a short report on it.

With a sigh she motioned for Mamoru to put her down and pulled out the disguise pen. In seconds she looked as good as she had when she'd left the house that morning. It wasn't real. The damage was still there underneath, but no one would see it. Mamoru moved close the second the light faded and wrapped an arm around her waist. She leaned into him gratefully.

"Take Usagi home," Ami said, sounding more firm than any of them had ever heard her. "I'll write the report. Just this once. She needs a nap and a change of clothes."

Usagi opened her mouth to respond, but before she could Mamoru had scooped her back into his arms and was walking quickly away. Usagi peeped over his shoulder and could see Nephrite and Makoto following them. Even now they needed to be protected. Especially if their identities had been discovered.

As Chibi-Usa came out of the school she stopped in surprise. Her daddy was there waiting for her, but so was her mommy. Waving happily at them, she ran across the lawn to where they stood and threw herself in her mommy's arms. She let out a grunt and Chibi-Usa felt bad. "What's wrong mommy?" she asked, "did you get hurt?" Unfortunately, knowing who her parents were, it was likely.

"It's nothing serious," Usagi answered. "Just a run-in with a Youma. Nothing I can't handle. I've already been healed. Just a little tired."

"Okay." Chibi-Usa wanted to believe her, but Mommy's eyes looked different. More sad. Daddy looked angry. He was watching everyone around them like there was a monster. She wondered what had happened, but this wasn't the best place to ask. Someone could come close and hear them.

"Are we going to Rei's?" she asked.

"Yes, and we're going to have a good time. Uncle Jadeite is going to teach you something very special today." Usagi picked her up then and slung her onto her hip. Chibi-Usa giggled. She was a little old to be carried, and Usagi was a little small to do the carrying. That's what Ikuko-mama said at least. Now that she looked, she was already half Usagi's size. She'd never known her mom was so small. She seemed much bigger when she was wearing a crown.

She looked around and saw Makoto and Nephrite next to the car. Both of them were looking around like Daddy was. It made Chibi-Usa wonder what was happening and if her mom really was okay. Once she was buckled into the car she chattered happily to Nephrite, who pulled a piece of candy out of his pocket for her. He almost always had candy, but it was a secret because Uncle Kunzite said it was silly for a grown man to eat so much. Chibi-Usa grinned. He didn't know that daddy had lots and lots of candy hidden in his house.

The drive was fast and soon Chibi-Usa was racing up the stairs as fast as her feet could carry her. All the others were in the meeting room. They didn't look happy. She ran and found Shingo. He would tell her what was happening. He didn't think she was too little. Snuggled into his lap, she peered up at him.

"Is mommy really okay?" she asked.

"Hie," Shingo said. "Someone attacked her today and I think she almost died. But don't worry, your dad was there to save her."

"Okay. Daddy will always be there for mommy."

"He will," Shingo agreed. "He loves her."

"And me," Chibi-Usa added with a giggle.

"And you. It's a good thing you're so sweet," he added. "Now go find Jadeite before someone realizes I told you everything."

"Kay." She stood up, but turned and kissed his cheek. "You're my favoritest uncle," she said, then ran away laughing.

"I'm your only uncle," he yelled after her.

Chibi-Usa only giggled some more. Even though he was her only blood uncle, all the others were her uncles too, and the girls were all her aunties. Her mommy always said they were one-big-crazy-family. She loved her big family, and wanted them all safe. That was why she came to the past. But it was a scary thing, being so far from everything she knew. She was just glad she had mommy and daddy.

"Come here munchkin," Jadeite said, grabbing her up and swinging her in the air.

"Uncle Jadeite, what are you going to teach me?" she asked after they sat on a cushion.

Rei came over and sat on the ground next to them. "Jadeite is a master of disguise."

"Master of the skies?" Chibi-Usa asked, confused. "I thought that was Auntie..." she stopped herself and covered her mouth with her hand. Auntie Haruka wasn't with them yet. She had control over the wind and was the best person for flying kites.

Rei and Jadeite both laughed. "Master of Disguise," Rei said, making sure she heard this time. "It means he can hide in plain sight."

"How?" she asked, looking up at them.

"First, by making myself seem like something I'm not. I'll be right back," he said. He left the room and Chibi-Usa wondered where he was going.

She turned to talk to Rei. "I'm good at hide and seek," she announced.

"Well, that's a good thing," Rei said. "If one of us tells you to run and hide, that's what you should do. Play hide and seek."

"But how will you find me?" she asked, distracted when a priest came into the meeting room.

"Well," Rei said, "you could go to a particular spot I know. When I was little, sometimes the kids in my school my fun of me because I was different. When I got really sad, I would run here to the temple. But you know the wall that goes all the way around? There's a little tunnel under it. I used to hide in there. If you ever get really scared, or if one of us tells you to hide, you can go there."

"Will you show me where it is?" Chibi-Usa asked excitedly. She wanted to see the tunnel. Maybe it was really cool and had treasure in it.

"Later. First you need to finish talking to Jadeite."

Chibi-Usa looked around the room. "He isn't back yet," she complained. "I want to see it so I hope he hurries."

Rei smiled. "He's already here. Look again."

Chibi-Usa stood up this time and really looked. Her mommy and daddy were talking with Haruki and Setsuna. Shingo and Zoicite were looking over some sort of paper. The other girls were looking at something on the wall from the Mercury computer. The priest was adding wood to a little pile near the door. And Kunzite and Nephrite were both doing something with their swords that looked like a dance.

Her eyes went back to the priest. Grandfather Hino and Yuichiro were the only priests at the temple, and Yuichiro was still in training. So the priest didn't fit. She walked towards him. He turned and smiled. It was Uncle Jadeite!

"You look like a priest!" she said. "I didn't know it was you. That was good. Do it again?"

He shook his head. "This time we're going to help you. Now when you're small it's actually pretty easy to blend in," he continued. "All you need to do is look like you are part of what the other kids are doing. So, lets say you are going through the park and you need to hide. There are probably other kids playing. You want to look like an ordinary kid, just playing like the others. Ami programmed Luna P to help you do that. She can change you into someone else, but only for a little while."

"Like what?" she asked, curious.

"Lets say there's a baseball game. Ask Luna-P to dress you like the players."

"Cool," Chibi-Usa said.

"You can only use this if you are in danger," he added. "You don't want to make us all scared and sad thinking you're lost or hurt. This is for an emergency. Do you understand?"

"Yes Uncle Jadeite," she said, not wanting to upset anyone. She was determined to be a good girl. She didn't want anyone getting hurt because of her ever again.

"We're going to practice. I want you to ask Luna-P to change you into ballerina clothing. Can you do that?"

Chibi-Usa nodded and turned to grab Luna-P. The cat shaped ball was hovering a few feet behind her. She took it in her arms and whispered, "dress me like a ballerina." Light shined on her from the ball and then she looked down to see a tutu and ballet slippers. "I did it!" she said happily.

"Very good," Jadeite said. "Now, do you understand why we want you to do this?" he asked.

"So the bad man and his friends don't find me."

"Exactly. And if you see him, what are you going to do?"

"Tell one of you right away, and if I'm alone then I ask Luna-P to help me."

"Good girl," he said, lifting her up for a hug. "We would all be very sad if something happened to you."

"I'd be sad if something happened to you," she told him. "Can I go play now?"

"Sure."

Chibi-Usa skipped away, thinking about everything she had learned. Her parents and the others were worried about her, and thought the bad people would come soon. She hoped it wasn't too soon. She was scared of them hurting young mommy. She settled into a corner of the room where Auntie Rei had set up a little wooden kitchen for her and began to play, but she watched all of the others and hoped they would stay safe.

"He's dangerous," Mamoru said. Usagi let out a sigh and he wanted to scream. "We need to take care of him, and soon."

"We don't know how to heal the tree yet," Usagi argued.

It was the same discussion they'd had several times since leaving the park that morning. After she had slept and they had made incredibly passionate love, he had sat her down at the table and talked to her over a meal. Mamoru was positive that Seijoru was Ail, and that he knew both of their identities. That meant Natsume was An, and she probably already knew as well.

He couldn't take the chance they would attack her somewhere he couldn't follow, like her classroom or the girls bathroom at school. "I just want you to be safe," he said, pulling her closer.

"I know Mamo-chan," Usagi said, "but there is a difference between protection and revenge."

Mamoru said nothing. He wasn't intending to let the creep slip away again. If he had to make the choice to take him out, he would. Usagi had nearly died, and his heart couldn't take it again, especially since they had no idea when the bad people following Chibi-Usa would arrive. He needed to protect them both. He needed them both safe. If he lost them he didn't think he would ever be the same. If that meant taking drastic measures, it was what he would do.