A/N: Buckle up, readers. This is a long one. Also, shit hits the fan at some point. Actually; theres a few times where said shit does hit said fan. Ooooookay, as always, read, review, predict. Do it all. The more reviews, the more I want to update! Thank you a million. MUAH XX
Chapter Fifteen – Nessie's Conscious Intrusion
my fire was fate with you
heartache would stay with you
fly great escapes with you
-kehlani, honey
oOoOo
I swallowed thickly, and stared back at his hallow red eyes. I looked to his left and recognized the small blonde with a round face as Jane – but the man on his right; he was new. He was handsome, but most vampires tended to have immortal beauty. He had curly, messy honey hair that came to his shoulders. A wide jaw with cheek bones set high on his face, and his skin was tanned like caramel. His eyes, were not red like the vampires besides him. They were green. Yet, his scent was still thick and sweet like vampires would be. I was held captivated in his gaze, trying to decipher who and what he was.
"And you have brought company, I see." Aro's voice sharply pulled me out of the trance I was in.
"A – Aro." I sputtered out, snapping my eyes back to his red pools. Jacob tensed as I said the vampires name, moving to stand in front of me. Seth mirrored his movements, and fell back behind me. I could feel their tension, and see the tremors.
Aro's face twisted into a slow, creepy smile and looked the werewolves up and down, before turning to give Jane a wider smile. She raised one eyebrow; I knew what was coming.
But then nothing. Her face fell, and she concentrated further. I glanced over at my mother, and saw her pursing her lips. She was shielding them.
"Bella." Aro chimed, rolling his tongue as he said her name. I took this chance to search the room, checking each member of my family. They were here, scattered around the room in defensive postures. But, not Nahuel. Where is Nahuel?
Aro flicked his wrist, and Jane relaxed. Her face creepily froze again, but I could still see the fury behind the red gloss of her corneas. Aro's attention came back to me, "Dear, sweet Renesmee. How you've grown. Come, child. Let me see." He held out his palm to me, and I knew what came next.
Jacob growled, and stuck his arm out, blocking me from moving forward.
I let out a ragged breath, "Jake – it's okay. I'm fine."
Still, he did not move.
I placed my palm on his bicep, and opened the connection. I have to, please. Don't make this harder.
He huffed and dropped his arm, letting me pass. He grabbed my hand as I stepped away, pulling my attention to his eyes for a brief moment.
His beautiful, toffee eyes bore into mine. I love you. I thought to him.
He squeezed my hand three, quick times.
I let go, and returned my eyes to Aro's haunting gaze. He always had that same creepy smirk on his ancient face.
I inhaled, and took his outreached hand between both of my palms. Instead of letting him into my mind though, I pushed myself into his. I showed him every moment of my life, beginning from when we walked through their tunnel in Volterra after leaving that terrifying day. I went through the stills of my memory in fast forward, clicking, and shifting as quick as possible.
"Ah." He announced, his eyes still closed as he watched my life fold out behind his eyelids. My mind had begun showing him the last month, but I was careful, blocking specific details to my memories of my introduction to Seth, my first sight of Jacob. He tensed as he watched my memory of Jacob shifting, to our conversations, our first kiss, the imprint story. I snatched my hand away right as we got to my memories of last night, feeling exposed when he began to see the heated conversation we had against the very wall his back faced.
His eyes flashed open, and his creepy smirk turned into a full blown grin. He let out a shrill bleat of excitement.
"How very unique your life has been, truly squisita." I focused on his dusty skin, searching it for points of weakness.
I could hear my fathers unnecessary small inhale, and in an instant my eyes flashed to his golden ones. I saw it in his glance. He was telling me to not even think about it.
"Aro," I began, turning my attention back to him. "you've come back to check, just as promised. I am surprised, though. You come with a small entourage." I articulated, and flashed him my best Cullen grin. His creepy smirk turned wider once again.
"Need I anymore company just to visit my dear, old friends?" He questioned, motioning to my family. I looked to see Emmett's face twist in disgust.
I bit my lip, and looked back to this mystery vampire, then back at Aro. "As of yesterday, I've reached full maturity. Nahuel's predictions were correct. I am non-venomous, and not dangerous to humans."
He nodded slowly, and stepped around me. "Yet he got one thing wrong. Your ability to conceive, correct? Your human side should have kicked in, beginning your eternity of fertility. But, yet you remain barren and have not had a cycle."
I swallowed, and nodded shortly. It was true. I was supposed to begin my period, but it never came yesterday. Leading us to believe I was infertile. I was relieved but sad at the same time. Jacob and I had just talked about how he always wanted children yesterday.
"You also say you're not dangerous to humans? But, I wonder, what of these . . . wolves . . . you have accompanied yourself with? Your mind shows me great beasts, but before me stands men. How is that safe?" He slowly cautioned. I turned my body as he walked, following his trail. Jacob and Seth stood on edge, their arms dropped to their sides with fists clenched. They were resisting every urge to phase. Please my Jacob, be calm. I prayed to the universe.
I bit my tongue with my initial thought to insult Aro. I had to be smart. I knew what Jane could do – but who was this addition? For Aro to show up, unannounced, undetected, and unprotected by his guard . . .
"They are spirit wolves." I deadpanned, running my tongue over my teeth. The last thing I wanted to mention was that Jacob and Seth were born to protect their people from vampires just like Aro. Human blood drinkers. I had hidden it from my memories, but Aro was centuries old and, centuries wise.
"Renesmee." He chided, "You defend them honorably. I sense it is due to your . . . connection with this one." He nodded to Jacob, but kept his eyes boring into my own.
"What was the word, again?"
He knew the word.
"Imprint." I reminded, and suddenly felt Jacob's hot hands pull me back towards him. He possessively held onto me, keeping his hands firm on my waist.
Aro let out a callus laugh, and sharply turned to face me. My family was slowly growing more tense, and I could tell my mother was extremely uncomfortable being this far from me.
"Imprint. What a humorous word. A word that carries much greater meaning to the two of you, than most would understand at a surface level." He nodded to himself and carried on. "It is most interesting to me that they are nothing like the children of the moon, as I would expect them to be."
My father stepped forward, flashing his golden gaze to me then back to Aro. "We have broken no rules, Aro. Jacob and Seth are not children of the moon; they are shape-shifters. There is more to our supernatural world than we have ever known possible. They are not threats, and are controlled. They shift whenever they please, and do not have bloodlust. They live their lives as humans, and only shift when necessary." I was surprised to hear my father speak for me, but more alarmed at what he said. He was defending them.
Aro didn't even look in my father's direction, an unusual thing for him to do since he had always admired my fathers gift of mind reading from the stories I've been told.
"I see, and am truly . . . intrigued. What is deemed necessary, may I ask?" He turned his attention to Jacob.
Jacob shuddered, and his grip tightened around me. "When we feel threatened. If we feel the need to protect our tribe, our mates, or ourselves - we will do it."
Grandpa nodded and stepped in front of my grandmother, directing Aro's attention away from Jacob. "Aro, as you can see; she's not a threat to our kind. Neither are Jacob and Seth. Renesmee has grown and understands the full capacity of our laws, and the shifters have a similar set of rules. They would never expose our world, seeing as how they are apart of it."
Aro's lips formed a tight line. "Always such empathy, my dear old friend. Reaching an outstretched hand to those who do not walk the same path of life is a great example why I admire you so." Aro said to Grandpa with a forced smile. "When it comes to Renesmee, I never had a doubt you would lead her down the path of knowledge and compassion. She is truly a remarkable example of how powerful we can be when we put out minds to it. I am surprised, however, that you have not tried to push the limits of her gift."
My eyebrows furrowed, "Push the limit?" I blurted out.
He nodded and clasped his hands together with a clap, "I had expected it to have grown with you, but maybe you are not as gifted as I assumed."
I felt my ego take a hit, and just like my mother, I would not stand for criticism.
As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, my mom blurred to me, putting herself between us. Jane's eyes watched carefully, while the new vampire Emilian remained unmoving.
"We never tried, we thought it was unnecessary." She spoke softly, anchoring herself between us.
"Yet you posses a better range of shield now than the last time we met? What is the necessity of expanding your mind, but not your own offspring?" He questioned with a raised brow.
My father's lip curled, but he calmed quickly. "Aro, I believe you already know why."
Aro nodded, "I have my suspicions. Is it because you were frightened to believe she might be able to control another's thoughts? I'm sure you recognize that to penetrate one's mind with her own is the path towards mind domination, is it not?"
Mind domination? I had never for a second thought about that, or viewed my gift as some sort of power grab. I just . . . always had it. It was apart of me. It wasn't a weapon.
"Don't look so frightened, dear. Come, show me again. Test your mind on me."
Jacob tensed, his grip tightened. Momma didn't look like she wanted to move, either.
What was his goal here? Fear?
I brushed Jacob off, and ignored my mothers pleading gaze. I wouldn't be insulted. I took Aro's hand swiftly and shoved myself into his mind forcefully.
What do you want to see?
He closed his eyes and searched, his lips twitching now and again into a smile.
"Show me a false memory."
My eyebrow raised, but I closed my eyes and focused. I had never made anything up with my gift. I decided to focus on the stories Nahuel told me of his homeland, the jungles, the animals, the smells. I transformed my mind into a green forest, with frogs belting and birds cawing. The mist dewing over my skin, the feeling of foliage brushing my fingertips. Suddenly, it felt like we were there. I let us walk through the thick vines, but suddenly my thoughts were not my own. I felt someone else, creeping in. Aro was silent, trapped by the intrusion of my own conscious. But, there was someone else.
The vampire with honey blonde hair and skin like caramel. I couldn't see him, but I could somehow smell him – inside Aro's brain. I wanted to pull away, but my eyelids were frozen shut, and slowly the sounds in the room began to fade out until I was only seeing black, my hearing cut out and I felt as if I had gone deaf.
"Renesmee." He called out, bringing me out of my fear I'd gone deaf. I felt myself fall into another's mind, out of the blackness. Here; it was hues of red, burgundy and black. Morphing and blending into mist. Seconds past, and then I felt my true vision return. I was watching myself, yet somehow also still was able to see with the very eyes I was staring into. It felt like a different dimension. I couldn't feel my body, or sense my surroundings. And that's when I began to panic.
"Don't be scared." I watched my body turn around, and then I turned around myself. It was terrifying, and similar to feeling like I was inside a mirror, watching from the inside and the outside.
"What did you do to me?" I demanded, my voice coming out like I was a scared little girl. Which right now, I truly was.
"It's not forever, I promise. It's just a little trick. It's what you could do." The voice called back to me.
My breathing turned into anxious panting. "How?"
He clicked his tongue, "There are many ways to learn, but they all take a lot of patience. I have a feeling you possess that, though."
I felt the anger bubble up inside my chest, who was he to act like he knew me? "Who are you?!" I demanded. I could feel his presence, but every time I thought I saw him; he vanished. My point of view shifted instantly, and I was now facing hundreds of versions of myself, all lined up. I lifted my hand, and each version of myself in front of me made the same movements, only a second in delay like a domino effect.
I snapped my finger, and listened to the sound echo into the dark mist. Each snap produced a visual sound wave and pushed the mist away. It looked like the rings rain makes on bodies of water. I was becoming entranced with this . . . place.
"I am Emilian. Grandson of Joham, son of Caius." He told me strongly.
His voice brought me out of my glazed mind state, and I felt the fear rise again causing me to freeze. Joham . . . he was Nahuel's father . . . which means one of Nahuel's sisters is his mother. I remembered Caius, one of the three main members of the Volturi. He stood besides Aro and Marcus, the kings of our kind so to speak. So, his mother was a hybrid like myself, and his father a vampire . . . he was barely human. Suddenly I understood why they showed up. Why he mentioned my ability to conceive. Aro was hoping to take me with them, to give birth to another being like Emilian. I shuddered in disgust, the thought made me want to throw up. I was useless to them now, of course.
"You learn quickly."
I forced my mind to behave as my own, and willed him to stand before me. Mist billowed up, then dissipated. Emilian faded into place, right in front of me. "I would never do that. I can't." I hissed. "I'm not going to be apart of some breeding plan."
His lip twitched and he grinned, revealing large, straight white teeth. "There is no plan. And, besides . . . if there had been, Aro stated that you are barren. So now, we only can offer opportunity. You and I, Renesmee; Aro has told me it been prophesied."
I scoffed, and took a step back. I stared into his dark green eyes, searching for a slice of humanity he may have in the quarter his genes posses. "There is no prophecy. He's lying to you. You're just a pawn, born into darkness and raised without a shred of compassion. I have a life; I have my Jacob."
"You see a lie; I see a way of life. I can give you so much more, we are alike in ways that wolf-man would never understand. Join me, Renesmee. Join our guard. You will have power you only ever dreamed of." He pleaded, trying to reason his insanity.
I crossed my arms defensively, "I don't want power! We are nothing alike, I'm done with this game! Get me out! Get me OUT!" I screeched in his face, shoving him away from me as hard as I could.
I had put up the façade of strength, but truly I was crumbling. I was terrified of the violation I felt was going on in my mind. How I couldn't control anything, or that I couldn't escape on my own free will.
He smiled as he fell backwards, his body moving in slow motion as he snapped his fingers. My vision warped, my hearing cut in and out as I felt myself fall back out of this trick. The darkness slowly lifted, and pieces of my real surrounding appeared again. My living room, Jacob, Aro, my whole family all reappeared, fading in from the blackness. I felt like I was moving in slow motion again as I recognized i was still holding Aro's hands. I dropped them and fell limp into Jacob's arms.
"What did you do to her!" Jacob screamed, pulling me against his chest on the floor and smoothing my hair away from my face. I was shaking so badly; I could barely reach up to touch his cheek.
"Nessie, Nessie – are you okay? I'm here. Don't be scared." He comforted me, kissing my cheeks that were stained with tears I didn't feel fall.
"My Jacob." I whispered, and stared into his brown eyes. My mother and father were crouched next to him, hovering over me and looking at me with panicked eyes.
Dad stood up quick and faced Aro. "What did he do to her?" He snarled through clenched teeth.
"Edward, be calm. She will recover. Emilian only showed her the power she could posses, the things she might be able to do. He can manipulate a gift, but I'm sure you figured that out watching what happened in her mind." Aro said with a wave of his hand.
"She is never going anywhere with you; she doesn't have what you're really here to check for." Dad said calmly this time.
"It is a pity. I had high hopes for young Renesmee. Ah, but such is life. Come Jane, Emilian. We have seen enough." Aro flashed his eyes to me, then to the rest of my family. "I do apologize for the disorder that you may feel occurred. Emilian is still young, and learning his way. Until we see you again, Cullens. It was lovely as always, Carlisle."
They blurred out of the house, and I felt myself fall back into the depth of my dark mind . . .
I groaned and rolled my head side to side, and opened my eyes slowly.
"Nessie, honey?"
I blinked a few times, and felt Jacob's hot body around me.
"Jake?" I whimpered, focusing on his face. His toffee orbs pooled into mine, concern causing his brows to furrow.
"I'm right here, baby. You're okay." He coaxed, leaning down to kiss my cheeks, my nose and my forehead.
I sighed and nuzzled my face into his chest, "Jacob, did I fall asleep in the car? I had the scariest dream . . ."
Jacob tensed, then he tucked his fingers under my chin to lift my face to look at him. "Nessie . . . you passed out. You – you didn't have a dream."
My eyes flashed open and I nearly jumped out of his arms. My brain began processing quickly, putting together everything I remembered.
The complete and utter feeling of being trapped, the darkness that surrounded me, Emilian's voice terrifying me to my core . . . and the idea of being some sort of incubator for a new breed of hybrid's.
"J – Jacob." I choked out with a sob, and the hysterics took over. I let out a guttural sob, my chest heaving with it.
"Nessie, they will never touch you again, okay? I won't let him."
"He was in my head, Jacob. Not like dad – he was . . . everywhere. I feel so violated, Jake. I couldn't move, I couldn't hear and then it was like I wasn't even real anymore. Like I was floating in this fucking abyss . . . I didn't think I was alive anymore. Then there were hundreds of me like domino's, just going on forever. I don't understand. What did he do to me?" I blubbered, clutching onto his neck and sobbing into his shoulder. He rubbed my back, my sides, and kissed my head over and over again.
"He tried to tell me that we were some fucking prophecy. Like I was just going to go with him and be some sort of vampire incubator. They're out of their fucking minds." My sobbing had tapered off, and it was replaced with pure, heated rage. I pushed myself off Jacob and stood up, brushing my tears off my face and looking around my room. It was dark out, and I was surprised to see that we were completely alone. My family was no where to be found, I couldn't smell them or hear them in the house.
"Where are they, Jacob?" I demanded, shifting my anger onto him.
He flinched, but remained calm. "Honey, they're just outside. They – they didn't want to trigger you. Your dad said your thoughts were really dark while you slept, and smelling them in your subconscious was making it worse. He thought it was best if . . . I was here alone when you woke up."
I let out a ragged sigh, and ran my fingers through my tangled locks. "I don't know what's happening to me, Jacob. I feel like I'm coming undone. I've never felt this . . . disoriented before. I don't feel safe, and I'm scared. What if he can do that from Volterra? What if all it took was one time and I'll never be free . . ."
Jacob stood up and instantly brought me against his body in a crushing hug, before pushing me back away and taking my face roughly in his hands. "Renesmee, listen to me. He will never, get to make you feel that way again. I don't care if I have to find him and kill him myself if that means you'll feel safe again."
My eyes widened, but he continued on before I could speak up. "You are so strong and so goddamn important to me and everyone you meet. We will lift you up when you don't feel like standing. Nessie, I promise I will keep every piece that falls away and help you through it. We will be okay. Do you understand? Nothing is going to happen. I'm here; you're here. We will work through this and nothing will ever make you feel this way again. Your mind is your own. Nothing will touch it again, okay? I wont let them."
He brought his mouth to mine gently, but I flung my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip, so I opened my mouth and granted his tongue access.
"Jacob." I mumbled against his lips, heat rushing to my cheeks and between my legs. Jacob's promise to keep me safe not only lifted me, but also sent me into a frenzy of lust. I was blind to it, and wasn't going to even try to ignore it. I pulled away from him for a moment to catch my breath, and looked into his eyes. They were as dark as onyx, and before I could think more I was jumping into his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. I squeezed his shoulders as his hands gripped my bottom, and his mouth went to attacking my neck. I let out a soft moan, and grinded myself against his stomach. I wished my core was lower down, I wanted nothing more that to feel him.
"Fuck." He growled, gripping my ass tighter and lowering my body onto my bed, pushing me against the mattress as he got on top of me, his hands hot on my exposed skin. I whimpered, and lowered my hips past his waist. He sucked in a hiss when I began grinding against him frivolously. My jeans creating a friction that was nearly unbearable, we both gasped for air as we passionately attacked each others mouths.
"Touch me." I panted, my voice filled with lust.
Jacob growled, but shook his head. "Nessie," he groaned. "we need to stop."
"Jacob." I grunted, grabbing his face and making him look at me. "You told me you would give me anything I wanted, and I want you to touch me. I need this."
His eyes were blacker than black, something I never thought possible, and he immediately obeyed. I knew it was wrong to use what he told me as leverage, but I didn't want slow. I wanted fast, hot and passionate. I needed to feel whole. I needed him to take away the pain I was feeling in my mind.
His hot hands skimmed down my leg, hooking one around his back and pushing the other apart. His hands tickled the insides of my thighs, making me squirm.
"Jacob," I moaned, "please."
"Nessie, you're going to fucking kill me." He grunted, and shook his head with a grin. I didn't care if my family was outside. I didn't care if my dad heard everything. Stay the fuck out of my head then. No one was going to take my control away again.
Jacob's mouth was back against mine, his hands hovered between my thighs. "Nessie, honey. Please, are you sure?"
"Jacob." I snarled, taking his face between my hands. "Touch. Me."
He growled and kissed me hard, letting his hands fall between my legs and press between my thighs. I gritted my teeth as he gently rubbed me, cursing myself for wearing jeans. My hands went to unbutton them, but he was one step ahead of me. He yanked them off quick, but hesitated once they were finally off.
"Hold on, baby." He murmured and pulled away from me. He looked down at my naked lower half, taking in my thighs spread out beneath him, the dainty underwear that I was suddenly so thankful I chose . . . thinking Jacob wouldn't see – boy was I wrong. He smiled and his eyes lifted to meet mine.
"Nessie, you're so beautiful." He murmured, skimming his fingertips down my bare thighs, tickling me behind my knee. "Your skin is like milk, and so soft." He dropped his palm to the top of my thigh, and ran it upwards. He skimmed over the lace and pushed my sweater up, touching my flat stomach and curling his fingers around my waist. "So beautiful."
I gave him a half-hearted smile, and lifted my mouth to his. Kissing him slowly and deeply. "Jacob, please don't make me ask again." I whispered gently this time against his mouth. He smiled, and kissed me back. His hand ran down my side and dipped between my thighs, without hesitation. I gasped when I finally felt his fingers tease me through the skimpy fabric. His hands were so hot, it only made me want him more.
Jake growled when he smelled my arousal heightening, and his fingers pressed against me rougher. He began to move his thumb back and forth, teasing me slowly. I let out a moaning sigh, and my breath became shorter as pleasure took over as my main emotion. Jake's hand shifted against my heat and I suddenly felt his index finger and thumb touch my tender bud through the fabric, I let out a gasp and moaned loudly when he pressed against it harder.
I moved my body towards his hand, moaning and gripping the bed sheets tightly. I had read about sexual acts, but to feel what was described was more than I could have ever imagined – even in my fantasies. Jacob felt better than I ever dreamed of. And this was just his hands. I moved my body with his fingers, grabbing his arm to move faster. He smirked against my lips as I got louder, I knew what I was building up towards. I was getting closer to my release, something I've never experienced before but was more than ready. I needed this to take away the tension of the day. I was almost there, but Jacob slowed his movements and I let out a groan of protest, which earned me a devilish laugh from him.
"Baby, you have to keep quiet," Jake whispered and I nodded furiously. It's not like my family didn't know what was happening, so I could have cared less how loud or quiet I was. I guess it was the principal of the matter, though.
I felt his hand return, only this time he went under the barrier of my panties and straight to the heart of me. My eyes rolled and a moan escaped my lips again as I felt his fingers run along my aroused flesh.
"Fuck," Jake muttered thickly as he felt my wet heat. "you're so hot down here. I never can feel heat."
"Jacob," I moaned. "Jacob please - "
His finger circled the outer lips of my warm center before dipping inside quickly after I began to beg. His hands moved against me, and I couldn't hold in my moans. His hand moved tauntingly slow, putting my body through blissful agony with every thrust of his huge finger. I didn't know how much more I could take when he added a second finger and picked up the speed. I was so close to my release when Jacob twisted his hand slightly, found my pleasure spot, and I let out a very loud moaning cry. I turned my head to bite his trap in an attempt to keep quiet as I rode into sweet oblivion, but my moaning did not cease and I gasped his name as he helped me ride out the wave, my core pulsating around his hand.
He pulled his hand away from me and kissed my neck softly, making a trail of kisses until he met my mouth.
I laid nearly limp under him, my eyes squeezed tightly shut. I was still quivering from the experience, and couldn't believe it was so amazing. I felt his hot breath on my face, and my eyes fluttered open to meet his. They were back to my favorite toffee brown.
"Jacob, thank you. Thank you, my Jacob. That was – it was amazing."
He smiled tenderly at me, and gave me a chaste kiss. "Nessie, I love you. I will do anything you want me to – anything you need me to."
"I love you, my Jacob. You eased so much of my fear and the tension that was exploding inside me. I needed that to . . . help me realize I wouldn't have to think of what happened forever."
He grinned widely at me, "And, it was totally worth the tree I'm going to be thrown through later."
I snorted and shifted under him, my thigh brushing between his thighs. My eyes widened when I felt him; he was huge.
He gave me a sheepish look. "Sorry."
My hands flashed to his jeans immediately, I wanted to return the favor but he stopped me before I could touch him. "No, Nessie. I – I want to take care of you. Don't worry about me."
"Jacob . . ."
"Let me just focus on you. You are so thoughtful, and I would probably die if you touched me anyways but . . . not yet. Okay?" He begged, his voice sounding like heaven.
I simply nodded.
"Can I draw you a bath, honey?" He asked me sweetly, cupping my face with his palm.
I smiled, and gave him a nudge to go on. He laid a quick kiss on my lips and hopped up, striding into my bathroom.
I inhaled deeply, then exhaled. I was going to be okay. I wouldn't let what happened today control my thoughts for any longer than necessary. I was safe; Jacob would protect me. As long as I had my Jacob I would be okay.
A few minutes passed, and Jacob reappeared. "Okay, Ness. It's ready." I pushed myself up on my bed onto my elbows and looked at him with a smile. He was so sweet, and caring. My Jacob, the protector and provider.
It seemed so outdated of me to think that way, but I couldn't help it. I . . . liked when he did things for me, and the primal thought of him being my protector turned me on. I blamed the whole being-in-love-with-an-alpha-wolf thing, but I wouldn't say that was upsetting.
I heaved myself off the bed, and walked towards him, pulling off my sweater with a flick of my wrist and dancing past him, shutting the door behind me quickly.
I heard him chuckle, "Trouble."
I smiled to myself and undressed completely, and slid into the bath. Jacob had lit some candles and put bubbles in my bath, he was truly so romantic it was hard to believe he was real.
He knocked on the door once, and pushed it open. I dipped myself deeper into the bath, below the thick bubbles. "You okay, Nessie?" He asked, peaking around the door. His eyes were firmly shut, causing me to giggle.
"Jacob, you can open your eyes."
They opened without any hesitation and I watched as he clenched his jaw. Probably recognizing I was very naked in the tub.
"Will you sit with me?" I innocently asked, wanting him to stay close at all times.
He began to protest, "Ness . . ."
"It's okay, I wont lure you in or anything." I teased, pulling a hand out of the tub and beckoning him to me with a waggle of my finger. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he scurried over, flopping himself next to me on the bathroom floor. He leaned against the tub with his elbow, and rested his temple against his palm.
"You even look beautiful covered in bubbles. How are you real?"
I bit my lip and looked up at him under my lashes, "Jacob, do you really promise that you will . . . take care of me?"
His brows furrowed together, "Of course, Nessie. You're my whole world."
"I'm scared that I'm going to be . . . messed up. That he scrambled my brain. What if I can't even use my gift anymore?"
He shrugged. "Well, why don't you try?"
Fear shot through me, causing me to freeze. "What if I do what he did."
"Nessie, you'd never hurt me – right?" He simply questioned. I nodded quickly. "Then, don't worry. I'll be okay."
I sighed, and lifted my hand out of the warm water again, bringing my palm to his exposed cheek. Water and suds ran down my arm, but I ignored them. I needed to stay focused; It might be hard trying to open the connection.
The warmth flooded to my palms, and I knew it was open. Easier than I feared.
Can you hear me, my Jacob?
He smiled, and nodded. Holding my hand against his cheek.
It's not . . . black, is it? You can hear, you can see?
"I can see, baby. I can hear you." He confirmed. I felt my confidence rise, and the fear began to pass. Just as I was about to push another thought into his mind, my memories came tumbling to the forefront of my brain and hit me like a train. The burgundy mist, the perception of viewing myself from the outside and inside, how time seemed to move and stop at the same instance. Jacob tensed but I couldn't stop, he wouldn't let me move my hand away.
"Nessie, honey. It's alright. You can show me. If it will help you move on, I want to see. Let me see." He coaxed gently, his brown eyes boring into mine. I blinked the tears away and gave him a small nod. I exhaled, and closed my eyes. Praying to the universe that I would be able to open them again.
I showed Jacob what I showed Aro. The jungle, the trees, the sounds I made up in my mind. I replayed the birds cawing, and the feeling of the vines brushing against my skin. I showed him when I sensed Emilian creeping into my mind. How I thought I was trapped when I could smell him couldn't move. The feeling of being engulfed into nothing and nowhere, with all my senses being cut off. His eerie voice calling out my name, forcing me to fall between what felt like multiple dimensions. Then the mist. God, the horrible mist that reminded me of death. How it was burgundy and black, hauntingly beckoning me towards it.
Jacob, I felt so small. I was so scared.
Tears fell from my eyes, but I couldn't stop now. It was exploding out from my palms. I heard my voice echo in my mind, 'Who are you?'. The fear struck me again as I witnessed the hundreds of versions of myself mimicking my every move, and how entrancing it was to watch.
They wanted me . . . for him. They thought they could take me and breed me like I was some animal. As if I was just existing to give them more power.
Jacob growled, the grip on my hand tightened. "They will never touch you."
They only left because . . . it didn't start. I should have started my period, but it didn't come. Which means, I probably am infertile.
I opened my eyes to see his reaction, but it never changed. He didn't look upset, or angry.
"I would never be angry, Nessie. I just want you."
I can't give you a family, Jacob. Don't you want one?
He smiled tenderly at me. "Of course, I would love a family. But, that doesn't mean we can't make one if its just us. You are my family now, Nessie. There's no changing that. Plus, I have these damn leeches too I guess. They're not half bad."
I sniffled and laughed at his joke. My Jacob, always trying to make me smile.
I shifted in the bath and my eyes widened with Jacobs when we both smelled it.
Blood.