Bonded

by My Dark Secrets

"What are you hiding, Jacob?" "Emily's pregnant," he blurted. "He told me not to tell you but I thought you deserved to know..." She was pregnant. She had the life I was supposed to have. Ya know, I'm excited for the day that I realize that I can be content without being angry at Sam or Emily. That'll be a good day. "Let's do it," I said. Jacob smiled at me before kissing me hard.

15. Chapter 15

I'm high. Let's do this.

Ooh, I hope that doesn't upset anyone lol

I got stuck for a long time and there were just pieces of dialogues and situations that kept floating in my head. This chapter is really fucking long and I'm like nervous.

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"Ok, take another deep breath in and move into downward facing dog," Kaya's carefully crafted extra soothing voice crooned out. I listened to the groans of the giant boys behind me and suppressed a giggle. Kaya had recently gotten into yoga and thought it would be a good opportunity for us to learn how to meditate. "Straighten your legs, Sethy. Press your heels to the ground, Jacob." The birds chirped all around us and the wind danced its way through all of us as we came to the end of our yoga session in her backyard. "And when you're ready, walk your hands back to your feet and slowly bring yourself upright."

Paul groaned as he struggled, "This is bullshit."

"Not bullshit, Paul, yoga," Kaya corrected, pulling his hips so he could align himself better. I stood up and adjusted my sports bra before looking to the other wolves who were struggling to walk their hands back to their feet. "Namaste! Y'all are done for the day!" she beamed before rolling up her own yoga mat.

Jacob grunted as he tried to get himself out of downward dog. The rest of the wolves were chattering about beach day, the most carefree than I had seen them in years. I missed seeing these guys act their own age. It was easy to forget that some of them were still young because we all held such a strong responsibility on our shoulders. Amusement riddled my face as I walked over to Jacob and sat in front of his downward facing face, cross-legged. "Need some help?" I asked, smirking. Jacob's head snapped to look at me and glared.

"No," he grunted. "Paul's right. Yoga is bullshit." After trying one more time to walk his hands, Jacob's knees buckled, and he landed with a thud on the mat. He groaned loudly. The sweat on his forehead glistened.

I smiled cheekily and bounced my shoulders, "I thought it was fun."

When I say the next couple of weeks were so nice and drama-free, it honestly was as if nothing ever happened. Never in my life did I enjoy the sun on my skin, the song of a bird, and the laughter of my pack brothers more than I had in those two weeks. I mean, for the first time in a while, I felt like I was starting to know what it was like to live like someone my own age. I would go visit Jacob at the garage, go shopping with Bianca, and running patrols on a normal schedule. All of the hype from the wedding had died down and I couldn't thank Taha Aki enough for it going as smoothly as it did.

Kaya was still on earth which was our biggest cause for concern. At the surface, she didn't seem too phased by it; she had just been enjoying her days as much as she could. She was good at pretending in front of the others that she was ok with still being on earth, but I could tell, when she thought no one was looking, that it was wearing on her. She didn't understand why they wouldn't let her come home yet. She felt like, on some level, that she was being punished for something. I knew that wasn't true though; she was the sweetest, most selfless soul I'd ever met. I was just wondering why they weren't telling her why she couldn't go back yet.

My mother had decided to finally move in with Charlie Swan to help him with his empty nester's syndrome. She had been spending so much time there, it was only a matter of time before she moved full time. I had to deal with my own heartbreak, knowing that both of my parents were no longer living in the house I grew up in. As I was helping her pack up, she talked me down.

"Aila, the house was eventually going to be yours anyway. Did you expect it to be the three of us forever?" my mother smoothed down my hair as I choked on my tears. She pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back as I quietly cried.

"This house…will never…" I tried to take deep breaths between my words, "be the same…without you and Daddy."

Mama held me out at arm's length and smiled. "Good."

"How in the world is that good, Mama?" I asked, shrugging her hands off of me.

"Baby girl, you have never been good with change, but it is something that you need to come to accept," she said, reaching down to grab my hand. "After your father died, it still wasn't the same house. And now, it's time for you to make it your home, if you choose to. For you and Jacob and my future grandbaby…or grandbabies."

I pursed my lips. It felt like everything that was meant to be good change was too much for me. I was tired of everything shifting; I wanted things to just…stop. At least for a minute. My mother was getting more excited about the idea of grandchildren with each passing day and brought it up every second she could. My period decided to show back up which meant that I was officially able to have children. "I just wish you'd stay longer," I said, my eyes glued to the ground.

She chuckled. "If you had it your way, I'd never leave."

"Damn right…"

When Bella and Edward left for their honeymoon on some island, the other Cullens decided that they wanted to take a vacation too. My wolf, for the first time in a long time, was at peace; she was snoozing and purring more than I'd ever witnessed. I could see the change in Jacob too. He had that bounce in his step again. He wore that beautiful smile more often. Life was good. Since no drama went down at the wedding, Sam had officially retired from his Alpha role. It wasn't some big ceremony for his stepping down. He honestly just talked to us about it before a pack meeting and made an announcement.

I rose to my feet before offering my hand to Jacob. He clasped my hand in his so I could pull him up. Even Jacob was more carefree now than he was before. He placed a hand on my hip before placing a sweet kiss on my lips. "The best part was probably the view," he joked, sliding a hand to my ass. I swatted at his hand playfully before picking up his yoga mat. "Are you coming to beach day, Kaya?" He draped an arm around my shoulders.

I turned to see an unsure Kaya pondering Jacob's question. "Oh, I don't know about that, little wolf."

"Why not? You're family." I said, leaning into Jacob.

"It's a little risky, my loves." Kaya said, grimacing. "I really want to keep a low profile. We can't risk bringing unnecessary attention to ourselves." She shook her head. "Besides, you two aren't quite done yet today. It's time we try agai—."

Jacob and I groaned loudly. While our days had been more carefree, it didn't mean that Alpha training had let up any. In fact, we were having more regular sessions lately to keep us up to date on all of our new abilities. Kaya had been attempting to teach us this thing she called remote projected vision. Pretty much, she wanted to teach us to be able to channel our energies into seeing through each other's eyes. We had tried a couple of times with no success. The first time we attempted it, we both passed out from the overexertion of energy. It had completely depleted our strength for the day which was so dangerous. In a world where vampires and werewolves were real, an attack could happen at any moment. Kaya was determined that we learn and it just was exhausting. So when we tried again, we got closer, but not close enough.

"Kaya, be real. How necessary is it that we learn this remote vision thing?" Jacob asked, following Kaya into the house. I trailed behind them, closing the sliding door behind me.

"It's very necessary, Jacob," Kaya scolded as she glided into the kitchen to wash her hands. I gingerly sat down at the kitchen table and sighed, audibly. Kaya glanced at me and rolled her eyes, playfully. "If it wasn't, I wouldn't be trying to teach it to you guys. I need you both to be thinking bigger and broader when it comes to these lessons."

"This one just sucks to learn, that's all," I said, resting my arms on the table. Jacob stood behind me, leaning his weight on the chair. "I kind of thought we'd all get a break for a bit."

"Alphas don't take breaks, little one," Kaya shrugged. She stood at the head of the table and looked between me and Jacob. "What is it I always tell you both when we train?"

"Consider every circumstance," we both mumbled, bobbing our heads.

Yes, it was so important for us to consider every circumstance. And without Kaya's help, we could still be trying to figure out how to be the most prepared and the best we can be. We weren't ungrateful. Jacob and I were always talking about how great it was that she was here. We were tired though, and we could tell that she was too. "Exactly, my loves. We'll try it one time today, I promise, and then you are free to go. Come on."

As we made our way upstairs, I listened to Kaya as she hummed. I looked back at Jacob who was chewing on his bottom lip as he prepared for our session. We spent a lot of time with her, but I wondered if she was lonely. I wondered if looking at Jacob was hard for her. Jacob had said that it was like looking in a mirror when he was with Ephraim in the other plane, but I wonder how much that rang true. "Kaya?" I called.

"Yes, little wolf," she glanced back at me as we walked down the hallway toward the backroom. She had designated that room to our meditations until we learned more control. Kicking off her shoes, she grabbed a lighter from the console table and started to light candles around the room, still humming to herself.

"Do you miss him?" I asked, stepping through the threshold. Her humming stopped and she was still.

After a pregnant pause, she nodded. "Every day," she said. Kaya busied herself setting up the area, pressing play on some quiet spa music. "This is the longest we've been apart since Eph died. Even then, he'd still come to me in my dreams and I'd go see him on the other plane. But nothing beats being with him or touching him or…" she trailed off as she dropped two square cream floor cushions onto the rug, directly across from each other. Kaya gestured for us to take our places. I kicked off my shoes before lowering myself onto the cushion with Jacob close behind me.

"What's he like?" he asked, crossing his legs as he sat down across from me.

Kaya smiled, sweetly. "He's a lot like you, actually," she started. "He's very affectionate and protective of me. He's always been a great leader, but that man is such a softy when it comes to love," she giggled. "I think, in life, he was always so intense and so serious because his mind was always one or two steps ahead of everyone, especially when it came to the pack and the Cullens. And I still see that in him sometimes up there, but he's found so much peace in death that, a lot of the time, it feels like we're just two young people in love. Now he has time for all of the jokes, you know? He's always had an incredible sense of humor, but I think that really started to show itself again once everything slowed down for us. Eph is just…amazing. I would have loved for you both to know him the way I know him."

Kaya sighed for a second before glancing up toward the ceiling quickly. Jacob shifted his position, craning his neck slightly. There was a slight chill in the room. I didn't feel the chill as much as Jacob did; he touched the back of his neck before shivering slightly. I turned toward Kaya again. "Does Jacob really look like him?" I asked.

She nodded. "Remember teenage Jacob with long hair?" she said. "That's Eph. He loved the long hair look, no matter how shaggy it made his fur," Kaya rolled her eyes, beaming. "I used to have to pick twigs out of his hair for hours. He'd just sit between my legs and fall asleep with a smile on his face."

"It sounds like you two were really happy," Jacob said, still fidgeting in his seat. He swatted at the back of his neck. "What is that?"

"Oh, that's him!" Kaya exclaimed. "He's going to help me help you both today. I think there might have been something wrong with my instructions last time, so Ephraim is going to be my little cheat sheet today."

"Wait, he's here?" I asked, looking around the room.

"Well, his spirit is here," she corrected herself. "Jacob is more susceptible to his energy because it's an Alpha male to an Alpha male. Just like before when you, Leah, were susceptible to mine—Alpha female to Alpha female. Ok, whenever you guys are ready, take your positions and clear your minds."

Jacob and I clasped hands and closed our eyes. We let the gentle music relax us, a calming glow blanketing over both of us. Kaya circled us, speaking in a serene tone. "Take a deep breath in…and out…"

During meditation, I was very aware of everything around me. Every breath and movement was somehow meant to be, in this moment. Accepting every sound, taste, and smell helped us to reach another place. "Relax your body from the top of your head…down your neck…through your body…into your legs…and to the tip of your toes…"

I wiggled my bare toes as I felt them tingle. Jacob took in another deep breath and I felt his hands relax in mine. "Now, place your energy into your partner. Feel every single part of your partner. Let your separate auras melt to one." Kaya stopped circling us and became very still. "Let your breathing synchronize, let every cell and molecule connect. Let your spirit walk to your common."

The next thing I knew, I could feel myself in two different places. My body was bearing down on the floor of our meditation room in Kaya's house, but my consciousness was floating out of my body. When I opened my eyes, I was in a clearing, wearing a white sundress. The grass was soft between my bare toes and the sun was especially warm on my skin. I could hear Kaya from a distance, telling us to link. I looked around for Jacob and finally found him across the other side. He grinned at me and waved. I took a cautious step forward, knowing this is where things went wrong last time.

Jacob held out his hand to mine as we brought ourselves closer. His eyes were also cautious, watching me closely as the palm of my hand linked with his. A yellow glow surrounded our connected hands and I gasped quietly. Breaking my gaze from our hands, I locked eyes with Jacob who nodded once, holding out his other hand. The glow burned brighter as we once again stepped closer together until there was not even a breath of air between us.

The wind swept across my face as every part of my body tingled. Deep breath in…deep breath out…in…out. The warmth of the glow enveloped me, and I willed myself to remain calm. The energy was rushing throughout my body, threatening to drain me at any second. Channel your energy.

I was still in my own conscious and could register darkness coming from my own closed eyes. When my eyes fluttered open, it was like I was looking at myself with one eye and at Jacob with the other. The mind wall that we both had so carefully crafted were completely diminished and all of Jacob's thoughts were racing through my mind again. "Whoa," I said.

We both looked up at Kaya who was beaming above us. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet, trying to contain her excitement. "We did it?" Jacob asked.

"You did it," she confirmed, clapping her hands. "How do you feel?"

"This is weird." I said, closing one eye then the other. It was this kind of 'magic' I guess, that I felt would be beneficial to us, no matter how painful the practice was. Kaya had showed me where all of it was written down and told me that if we wanted to continue to grow as a tribe, then we'd have to teach the next generation and the one after that and so on. "So, when would we use this again?"

Kaya folded her legs under her and sat daintily on the ground next to us. "Guys, think of a scenario in which this would be useful."

"If we get separated and need to find each other," Jacob said, a slight question in his voice. He looked down and I could see through his eyes as he focused on his hands.

She tapped her nose. "Right on the money, my little one. Of course, if you keep practicing, you'll be able to do it faster. It shouldn't matter where you are or what you're doing. Use this as a last resort to get to each other. You have now connected in mind, body, and spirit. Y'all are damn near unstoppable now." She paused to tug at her clothes. "It feels a little strange right now because all you're looking at is each other, but I can guarantee that this is something you could be using in battle. You'd be able to see things from every which angle. So next session, we'll let you guys test it."

I nodded, focusing on Kaya. "How often will we really get separated though?"

She twisted her lips and shrugged. "You just never know. Like I said, consider every circumstance." She told us to separate ourselves whenever we were ready. That part was easier than making the connection. Kaya helped us to rejuvenate our energy with her natural remedies before setting us free for the day. "You guys have so much fun at beach day," she grinned.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Jacob asked, lingering in the doorway.

"Yeah, we'd love to spend more time with you, Kaya," I interjected.

Kaya waved her hand at us. "I'm alright, little ones. Go have fun."

"Will you come to family dinner tonight then?" I asked. Mom decided to host a pack dinner tonight at my house. As she was still adjusting to living in Forks, she would pop into La Push at least once a day to 'just hang out.' When I asked her if she wanted me to stay behind to help her, she swatted at my behind with a tea towel and told me to have fun with the pack today. "Mom's making a load of food. You have to come."

Kaya hemmed and hawed for a minute before looking at both of us with soft eyes. "I think I can do that. Now go enjoy the beach! I'll see you both tonight."

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I slipped a pair of sunglasses on my face as I sat down on my towel in the sand. Jacob and the rest of the pack wanted a beach day. It was the perfect time and the perfect day to relax and relieve some stress. I listened to their hooting and hollering as they splashed in the water. Beach days were a favorite tradition of mine. All of our families had been doing this for years, since we were all kids.

"Leah, Leah! Look what I can do!" a young Jacob yelled at me from the small cliff over the water. I put down my peanut butter and jelly sandwich to see him waving at me with both arms. His small five-year-old body looked even tinier so far away. I smiled as he did a front flip off of the cliff and into the water.

I jumped up and looked at my parents. "Daddy, can I please go?"

"Absolutely not," my mom answered for him, rocking a newborn Seth to sleep. "That's so dangerous."

My dad playfully rolled his eyes at my mother. His young face was soaking in the sunshine on that beautiful summer day. "Sue, I think she can handle it."

"She's only six, Harry," she argued. Jacob ran up to us, soaking yet, shaking the water out of his hair. "Jake, sweetie, you need to be careful."

"Miss Sue, I'm big and strong! I can handle anything!" Jacob put his hands on his hips like Superman. "Lee Lee, you have to come jump with me!" He pulled on my hand toward the cliff.

My mother gently grabbed my other hand. "I don't know about that."

"Mama," I groaned, stomping one foot.

My father looked at both me and Jacob for a second before placing a hand on my mother's shoulder. He was always a thoughtful man and I always thought that he just let me do things to bug my mother. Mama was always so overprotective of me; anytime I wanted to do anything with the boys, she was there to ask me not to. My father trusted me to make my own decisions because he knew that I was going to do what I wanted either way. "I think she's ok to do it one time, Sue. Let the girl have some fun."

A newborn Seth cooed in my mother's arms, effectively stealing her attention. Jacob pulled my arm again and we ran to the cliffs before she could object again. We made it to the top of the small cliff and Jacob jumped off again, showing me his front flip again.

"Leah, jump!" I heard from Jacob below. I took a few steps back before running toward the edge. I felt the wind rush over my face before I felt the break of the water. Life couldn't get easier than that.

I blinked, coming back to the present day. My thoughts were interrupted by the giggling of the imprints a few feet away. Emily was sitting in the center of a beach towel, forever holding her belly that was finally starting to show. Rachel and Kim were swooning over Emily's ultrasound picture and throwing around baby names.

"What about Malina? That's a sweet baby girl name," Rachel suggested.

"Or Ava," Kim gasped.

"Oh, I love the name Ava!" Rachel said. "I've always loved the name Isabella, but I can see how that would be off the table."

Emily giggled, "Yeah, I don't think we don't need any more Bellas around here." She rubbed her belly again. "I've had a baby girl name picked out for years, but…" I could feel her eyes on me. I reached into my bag and pulled out the latest edition of Cosmo. It's just another one of those things where things are different than what we always plan for ourselves. "Besides, it kind of feels like a boy."

"Aww, Sam, Jr.?" Rachel asked.

Nope, definitely not Sam Jr. Emily never wanted that for her baby boy. "Oh no," Emily shook her head. "I already have a name picked out if it's a boy." She rubbed the bottom of her belly again, looking down at it.

"I've had my little boy's name picked out since I was 15," Rachel sighed, with her chin in the palm of her hand. "Gabriel William."

"Oh, that's so sweet! Gabriel William Lahote." Kim squealed. "I've always loved like earthy names. You know, like Ash or Forrest or like Hunter. Jared's last name is so easy to match baby names." She giggled, glancing out to the water to watch Jared as he threw Colin into the water and laughing. My own eyes took in the scene and couldn't help but feel warm inside. All of the boys looked so happy to just hang out like we all used to.

I heard a presence plop next to me with a big sigh. "Hi!" Bianca's happy voice chirped. She placed her bookbag next to her and ran a hand through her curly hair.

"Hey," I smiled. "How was class?" I closed my magazine and moved my sunglasses from my face.

"Oh my gosh, so good!" Bianca smiled. "We're doing Othello right now in my Renaissance and Restoration class and we get to go see the play next week in Seattle. Like an actual production! Not some shitty college play. I'm so excited! Ooh! I was going to ask Embry if he wanted to come with me. You and Jake should come too!"

I admired Bianca's excitement for her schoolwork. She was still working out what was next for her, but she told me that if she could just enjoy where she was in the moment then that's all that matters.

All of a sudden, the other imprints' voices were louder. Bianca peeked around me as Rachel spoke again, clapping her hands, "Earthy names are really cute for girls too! Like Aspen or Hazel," Rachel gasped. "Or Luna! Oh, how cute would a little Luna Uley be?"

Bianca twisted her face in a strange way before shifting herself into a more comfortable position. She had confided in me that there had been a small shift in dynamic as far as Bianca's place with the other imprints. They were still friendly with her, but Bianca said her intuition was telling her that the other imprints were uncomfortable around her. I had a feeling that that was mostly Emily's doing; Bianca spent a lot of time with me, which Emily found to be an issue. I had been working so hard to make sure that all of us were a family and there was still a divide. It was all so high school. I turned to Bianca and nudged her shoulder with mine. "It'll be ok," I said, nodding my head in encouragement. She nodded in agreement before smiling again. "Are you coming to dinner tonight?"

Bianca said yes excitedly as she pulled out a notebook so she could study.

I watched as Embry and Jacob ran out of the water to head up to the cliffs. Bianca's attention shifted from her English notes to a shirtless, wet Embry and her jaw dropped. "How is he just so perfect?" she groaned. Then she gasped and turned to me. "Oh my gosh, I didn't tell you! We finally did it!"

I gasped and smiled, "No way!"

"It was amazing," she sighed and gazed off with a faraway look in her eyes. "He took a chapter out of Jacob's book and we got a hotel room. We ordered room service and…" her voice faded as I watched as Jacob executed a perfect front flip off of the highest cliff and landed flawlessly in the water. After the incident, I honestly thought he'd never go up to the cliffs ever again. But he was handling it as if it never happened. Maybe that was best for all of us.

The rest of the day went without a hitch. At one point, Jacob and Embry came over and picked us up, running into the water. Everything was so easy. The sound of all of us laughing and talking about anything other than Bella and the Cullens and the Bond was something just short of a blessing. As I was perched on Jacob's back, listening to him joke around with his friends, I buried my face in his neck and just felt the smile on my face grow bigger and bigger.

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I ran upstairs to change, wringing out the water from my sundress. The entire pack had gone home to get showered and dressed for pack dinner. The house smelled incredible and, from what I saw, my mom was still cooking with the help from Kaya who came by early with dessert. "I'll be down in a minute!" I called when mama asked me to help plate the food when I was clean and dry. I tore my clothes off and hopped in the shower, feeling the hot water pelt my skin. Grabbing my favorite bodywash, I scrubbed my body down and hummed a song. Jacob projected that he was grabbing Billy and would be on his way soon.

After my shower, I pulled on a pair of jean shorts and as I was hooking the clasps of my bra behind my back, there was a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in," I said, mindlessly. The door opened gently, but no word was said. When I turned around, I was not prepared to see Emily standing in the frame of my bedroom door, holding her belly. At four months pregnant, she was starting to show finally and wanted everyone to know it. Not breaking eye contact, I reached for my tank top and just kind of held it in front of my body.

Emily stepped into the room cautiously and looked around. She nodded as she took everything in, rubbing the bottom of her belly once again. "Wow," she said quietly, letting out a small breath. "It's been a while since I've been in this room."

I nodded, yanking on my tank top and watching her glance around my room. We hadn't spoken. The closest contact we'd had was that day that I agreed to Bond with Jacob. Ever since the cliff incident, I pretty much avoided Emily like the plague because that look of betrayal on her face was just too much for me to deal with. I felt guilty; Jacob and Sam were sure to tell me that it wasn't my fault every chance I let myself feel bad about it, but I wasn't convinced. I still felt like it was my fault. "Yeah," was all I said.

Emily picked up a pendant of a necklace that was hanging on the mirror of my vanity. It was a small amethyst—my birthstone—crystal on a gold chain that my father gifted to me for my 14th birthday. Emily had one that was similar, but hers was aquamarine, her birthstone—also from my father. I kept every single gift that my father gave me because every one of them brought me closer to him in some way. "Mine broke a couple of years ago," Emily said, fingering the crystal. "I keep the crystal in my jewelry box."

I nodded. We stood in silence for a few minutes. I moved to grab a brush, careful to keep a distance away from her. I brushed my hair out as she continued to take in a once familiar scene before her. Emily picked up a picture frame; it was a picture of both of our families at a random Thanksgiving years ago. I had contemplated taking it out of the frame countless times over the years and decided not to. I loved my family and I loved her family. We had amazing memories. Just because Emily and I weren't close anymore doesn't mean that family memories aren't important. When she put it down, she turned toward me, an unreadable look on her face. "We find out the sex of the baby tomorrow," she stated. "And I just keep thinking about all of those times we'd sit up here and talk about baby names and what activities we wanted them to do. Remember? If I had a girl, she'd be named after you and…she'd be a little ballerina. And if it was a boy…"

"He'd be named after your dad and play baseball," I finished, playing with the brush in my hand. "Of course, I remember." She nodded and gave a tight smile, eyes glued to the ground.

"I had this dream the other night where…I was having the baby and there was no one there to hold my hand. I was so scared and all I kept thinking was 'Where's Sam? He's supposed to be here. I need him.' And he wasn't there. I had to do everything by myself." I didn't say anything. "I'm mad at you, Leah."

I nodded again, like an idiot. "Ok," I said.

"You almost had Sam killed and everyone's just moved on from that."

Just like everyone just moved on after you fucked him behind my back and moved in with him in less than a month? I raised an eyebrow and sighed. "Emily…"

She shook her head. "You know, I got over the fact that you decided to freeze me out after the imprint. I got over your little digs at me and Sam every waking chance you got. I even got over the whole Bond thing with you taking over everything and the whole pack spending more time with you and Jacob than with me and Sam." I felt a smirk creep on my face. Of course, that's what this is actually about. Emily was always a control freak and always loved being the hostess with the mostest. Even as children, she would want to be the one to put on tea parties or she would want to bring her Barbie dolls and dreamhouse so we could play. "But I'm still pissed about Sam almost drowning because of you."

I rolled my eyes. "And here I thought we were going to have an actual conversation. Emily, you're acting like I physically picked Sam up with my own hands and threw him off of that cliff. It was an accident. Sam's over it; you should try too."

"You didn't have to throw him off of that cliff, Leah. This whole Bond thing has thrown everything out of whack and I'm not happy." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're not happy because all of the attention isn't on you anymore. You're not the pack mom so you're pissed. This isn't about me."

"Yes, it is," she countered.

I snorted. "No, it's not."

"We're family, Leah. And you almost ripped away an important part of my future family."

The fucking nerve… "We were family."

She blinked. "What?"

I shook my head and frowned. "We were family." I repeated. "Family doesn't do what you did to me." I stated.

Emily rolled her eyes dramatically. "It's not my fault what happened with Sam, you know that."

"You really want to make this about me, then." I stood, facing her. "We can start at the beginning. You finally did something to spite me and you got lucky that it worked out in your favor. You got to be the sweet little imprint despite the fact that you took someone from me. This conversation is not about Sam at all. It's about the fact that things aren't perfect in your little Emily world and it kills you. You had absolutely no care in the world while you were shacking up with someone that I cared about while I was sitting at home, angry and heartbroken. We both know how the imprint thing actually works; he would have been anything that you needed him to be. Which means that you wanted him to want you romantically. But I'll spare us falling into that rabbit hole right now.

"What happened on the cliff was an accident. And I kick myself in the ass for it all the time. But you know what's funny? Sam is the one who talks me down from feeling like shit about it. You have somehow convinced yourself that I have become this villain in your fairy tale and that's not the case. Now that I'm not sitting back and letting myself be angry anymore, you feel like I'm soiling your perfect life. You have the fiancé that was quite literally picked for you by the gods, you have the house, you're pregnant with your first child all according to the timeline you set for yourself years ago. So why are we having this conversation?"

Emily glared at me. "You just can't stand that I'm happy. You decide to make me unhappy because you can't forgive what happened between me and Sam."

"I'm also happy," I said, confused. "I don't live my day to day thinking of ways to piss you off, Emily." She scoffed. I sighed and licked my lips. "Look…we can go round-for-round all day. We both know that. The fact of the matter is that you are going to be bringing the first of the new generation into the world. And…it would be petty and immature for us to continue this freeze out when things are changing around this place every single day. Have I been pissed at you? Yes. But do I want you to be unhappy? Of course not."

Emily looked down and sniffled. Her hand swiped under her eye quickly and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Emily was always a crier. But I knew when her tears were real and when she turned on her faucets to make someone feel guilty. "I just…always imagined you being the first person I called when I found out."

"Yeah, well…" I mumbled. Emily dropped her face into her hand and quietly cried. I sighed and scratched my arm. Downstairs, I could hear all of the boys arriving, rowdy and hungry. Emily and I stood in the middle of my bedroom, neither of us speaking. My eyes were glued to a spot on the floor. I listened to her quiet sobs and was just so aware that she was faking it. I'm sure there were actual tears coming from her eyes, but our entire lives I'd been manipulated into doing things when she started crying. She was a pro. She could drop tears in a second if that meant making someone feel guilty about something or getting her way. "Emily…" I said. "It doesn't have to be like this. We can start fresh. We can try to get back to a healthy place."

She raised her face and I was once again met with that look of betrayal. That look of pure hate and revulsion. "You've always been jealous."

I folded my arms across my chest. "Jealous of what, Emily?" My irritation level spiked.

"You were always jealous that my family had the nicer house. I always got the things that you wanted. Every toy, every phone, everything. You hated that guys liked me more because you were always a tom boy. The whole pack liked me more than you and it just ate you up inside. So now, you have to try to take everything from me. You probably even talk bad about me to Bianca."

My hands started to tremble. "No Emily…we're not in high school anymore. I have never slandered your name a day in my life. Even when you deserved it." My wolf started to pace inside me, and my heart started beating faster. I clenched my fists to try to get them to stop shaking, but it wasn't working.

She scoffed. "I don't believe you."

"You don't have to," I said, rolling my eyes. I focused my attention on a picture of me and Jacob just over her shoulder, sitting on my vanity. It was taken the day after he told me he loved me; he was kissing my cheek as I smiled in the camera. Even his sweet face wasn't enough to keep me calm in that moment. "I've moved on from all of this drama with you and Sam. I'm in a really good place and I thought you were too. Part of the reason Jacob and I Bonded so that Sam could be there for you and your baby."

"Yeah right…I bet you just Bonded to get back at me and Sam."

"Why the fu—? What?" I exclaimed. "Are you seriously that fucking self-involved that you think I made a major life decision because of you? You really think that I risk my fucking life being an Alpha because I want to make you unhappy? Either you are truly delusional, or you really have just always been this selfish."

"I'm just saying what everyone thinks." Her face was hard. That whole sweet and caring act was just that: an act. It was a face. Emily doesn't care about these guys; she just wants all of the attention to stay on her. She wants everyone to believe that she is living this perfect life and I was getting in the way of that. I was the one who was taking everything away from her. Tears stung in my eyes as I pushed past her, my shoulder bumping hers. I stomped down the stairs, my whole body was shaking more and more violently with every step. How fucking dare she? How dare she really think that she was the forefront of my every motivation and decision? I could not have cared less about how things would affect Emily specifically when I decided to take on an Alpha role. As far as I knew, I thought I'd be doing her a fucking favor. She could have Sam and their little love child, and I would have something else to focus on. I mean, goddamn, how many fucking mental backflips did it take for her to come to this conclusion?

I ignored the calls of the guys and Kaya, asking where I was going. I ignored my mother as she called my name, concern dripping from her voice. My body slammed into Jacob's as I stormed out of the front door. I could feel my wolf's conflict between being relieved that she was near Jacob and being livid with Emily. Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me from falling backward. My body continued to shake as she decided that it was more important to be pissed off. "Baby, where are you doing? Dinner's about to start." I looked up at him and watched as his eyes widened when they locked with mine. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to fucking talk about it," I spat as I pushed away from him. I took off. I didn't even make it into the woods before my clothes shredded and I phased. Fuck, I liked those shorts.

XXXXXXXXX

I was sitting at a stream with my knees hugged to my chest. Turning a smooth pebble over and over in my hand, I sighed before throwing it into the stream, watching it skip once before sinking. The sun was starting to set, and I was finally starting to calm down. After Emily ambushed me in my room, I ran for about an hour before skidding to a stop and just let myself cool off in this stream. The water was cool against my hot skin; it helped me to reach a more peaceful place.

A twig snapped behind me, but I didn't move. It wasn't Jacob; while I was running, I specifically told him not to come after me. I didn't want to talk. To anyone. If I was lucky, the thing behind me was a rabid animal that I could take my anger out on.

"Hey," a familiar male voice said.

No such luck.

A piece of cloth was draped over my shoulder. It was a large black t-shirt. I pursed my lips before sliding it off of my shoulder and slipping it onto my naked body. The voice sat next to me and sighed, resting back on his hands. Picking up a small pebble next to me, he rubbed it between his fingers before expertly flicking it; it skipped six times before sinking into the stream. He whispered a fairly quiet 'nice' before we fell back into silence. "What are you doing here, Sam?" I asked. The t-shirt smelled like him, which, at this point, was just so wrong.

"I came to check on you," he stated, obviously. He had run here. He sat next to me in a pair of black sweatpants, no shirt, and no shoes.

"How did you find me?" I clarified.

"Jacob was going to come, but I told him that I think it'd be better if I came to talk you down this time," he said, picking up another pebble. He held it out to me. When I refused it, he took my hand and placed the pebble in my palm. "I heard what happened."

I snorted and shook my head. "I'm sure everyone heard."

Sam shrugged, "The guys have been really good about not listening to everything that their ears can pick up." I stared at the rock before flicking my wrist, watching it bounce twice in the stream. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm really tired of talking…" I murmured.

"Ok, will you listen then?" When I didn't answer, he continued. "You used to be this ticking time bomb. 6 months ago, you would have ripped Emily's head off for even thinking about going into your bedroom to talk to you. I've seen so much change in you lately and I hope you don't mind me saying that I'm proud of you and who you're becoming."

There was a second there when I waited for that warmth to fill me like it used to. But nothing came. Sitting this close to Sam was doing absolutely nothing for me; I didn't feel angry with him, I didn't feel sad about him, I didn't feel like my world was going to crumble because he was here.

"Emily came to me a few days ago and said that she wanted to talk to you, and I told her no. I've listened to her talk about you and your time together for years and how much it breaks her heart that you aren't the dynamic duo anymore. But, this time, when she said she was going to talk to you, she just looked so…not like herself. She looked so…angry. I've never seen that side of her before." Sam continued.

"Are you getting to a point anytime soon?" I asked, watching two birds flutter around each other in a nearby tree.

Sam sighed. "If I would have known she was going to ambush you like that, I would have stopped her. She was wrong."

I blinked and shook my head in disbelief. Facing him, I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?"

He smirked. "Just because she's my imprint doesn't mean I don't know when she's wrong." He paused, contemplative. "I think when she lost your friendship, it kind of stunted her. She loved to fill that void with taking care of the wolves. And I thought that when she got pregnant, that would be her sole focus."

"And then I rolled you and Jacob off of the highest cliff in all of La Push," I finished.

"Lee Le—sorry…Leah," he corrected himself. "We keep telling you that wasn't your fault. If you keep letting that one accident weigh you down, you won't be able to handle anything else being thrown at you. Jacob could lead the pack by himself, but he chose you to lead with him. Not after him, not under him, with him. Because, despite our past, you rose to the occasion and have acted selflessly and gallantly. That's what we need. How many more people are going to have to have this talk with you before you get it?"

I looked at my hands and…I didn't know what to say. Here was my ex-boyfriend talking me down after his current fiancée—my cousin—essentially told me that I was the reason for her unhappiness. Sam has absolutely no obligation to do this other than out of the kindness of his heart. "I guess…it feels like I'm always having to tape together the little pieces of shit that I broke."

Sam opened his mouth to speak before closing it again. His eyes were filled with guilt as they usually were when he looked at me. "It's not up to you to fix everything, Leah. You're not the only person who broke something around here." Sam placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "We're still human. And that's ok."

"I never thought I'd see the day when Sam Uley was coming to my rescue again," I smirked.

He shrugged and bumped my shoulder with his. "Sometimes it takes an old voice to see new perspective." He stood up and held his hand out to me. "Now, come on, Sue and Kaya put dinner on hold until you got back. It wouldn't be right for everyone to eat without our sister there."

As we made our way back to civilization, my wolf was awakened by a familiar energy. She yipped with excitement the closer we got to the main road. I turned to Sam in confusion, "I thought you said you came alone."

"I did," he nodded.

"Jacob's close," I said, feeling his pull. When we stepped out to the main road, Jacob was leaning against the Rabbit with his hands in his jean's pockets. He winked at me as he opened the passenger car door. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to escort my lady and my brother back to a very important family dinner," he said, placing a hand on my waist when I was close enough. "You ok?"

I gave him a tight smile, "I think I will be." Glancing back at Sam, I nodded once. "Thank you, Sam."

"That's what family's for, right?" Sam ruffled my hair. "Can we get back? I'm starving."

Jacob helped me into the Rabbit, telling me to scoot into the middle. Sam squished next to me as Jacob jogged over to the driver's side. As weird as it should have been—being sandwiched between my ex and the love of my life—, I actually felt so secure in that moment. I felt safe.

If I learned anything from my conversation with Emily, it was that my past was not the dark cloud over my head anymore. Looking forward, I was excited about what was coming next. I didn't feel bogged down by the pain that I had been holding onto for so long. Jacob put his hand on my thigh as we drove toward La Push.

By the time, we made it back to my house, I was absolutely famished as were the anxious wolves lounging in my living room. I trailed in behind Jacob and Sam, trying to make myself as small as possible. "Finally!" Embry exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Let's get this dinner rolling!" All of the guys jumped into action, grabbing the food from the warmers and rushing outside to the conjoined picnic tables. They were all murmuring with anticipation of food. Seth, Colin, and Brady started carrying chairs outside while Jared and Paul led their imprints outside to the patio. With everyone rushing around, it was a little hard to take account to who was here. It looked like everyone. Except for Emily.

My mother walked over to give me a hug before leading me into the house. Jacob kissed my temple before grabbing all of the plates from the kitchen. "I'll save you a seat right next to me, sweetie," he said. I nodded before turning back to my mom and Kaya, who was leaning against the kitchen counter.

"We don't have to talk about it right now," my mother said. I shook my head in agreement. "Emily's resting upstairs in Seth's room; she didn't want to be home alone. I'll be having a talk with her mother soon."

"It's not a big deal, mama," I said. "I'm sorry for running off like that."

"We'll work on it, little one. You're allowed to feel angry." Kaya said, placing a loving hand on my arm. "Now, ladies, let's enjoy the rest of our night."

Once we settled at the picnic table, I was peacefully sitting between my mom and Jacob. Bianca and Embry sat across from us, beaming at each other every single second. It's a wonder what food and good company will do. Paul and Rachel were telling some story about the last time they went to Seattle while everyone dove into delicious mac and cheese, pot roast, brussels sprouts with carrots and onions, mashed potatoes, and daddy's famous fish fry, of course. I filled my plate before passing everything toward Jacob who took four hefty scoopfuls of all of the food. I could hear Seth and Colin argue over some video game that had just come out.

As Billy blessed the food, Jacob leaned over to whisper in my ear, "I think this is my happy place."

I barely noticed Emily make her quiet appearance, sliding on a bench next to Sam at the opposite end of the table. I smiled and listened as everyone engaged in their own conversations. Mom was talking to me about how she was settling into living with Charlie. She had a certain glow about her now. She looked so happy and I understood why now. She was finally letting herself move on; it was hard for her to be living in the house that she raised a family in without her husband. "…want him to get rid of that gun, but other than that, he's just wonderful." My mother pushed the wisps of hair from her face.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a long time, mama," I said, taking a bite.

"I'd be even happier with my babies there," she placed a hand on top of mine. "You could come see us sometimes, you know."

I nodded, "I promise I'll come around more. I miss you," as I spoke, the phone rang inside the house. "Oh, the phone's ringing. I'll get it." I said, standing up.

"No, sit down, baby girl. I'll get it." Mama said, placing her napkin on the table and jogging into the house. I turned back to Jacob who was shoveling food in his face. I glanced around the table at my pack, my brothers, and I could feel that warmth inside me again. Sure, we were dysfunctional, but this was family. This was what it was all about. "Charlie, slow down. What's going on?" I heard my mother's voice grow closer. I tapped Jacob on the arm and pointed toward the back door where my mother was pacing with the phone pressed to her ear. Jacob set his fork down and turned his full attention to the door. "Wait…they called you and what? What do you mean Bella's sick?"

XXXXXXXXX

Happy Holidays, everyone! Stay safe and have all of the fun in the world!