I have another therapy session today with Soundwave. I would be moderately happy to go to the session if I wasn't dreading later in the day. Sideswipe had told me that Ratchet had the results from my blood test. I would finally know if I had family out there waiting for me. I would also know if what the file said was true or not. For now I was more or less concerned with all the rushing everyone was doing about how Ironhide and a few of his recon team were coming back to base with a decepticon that had been on the run since the end of the war a mech named Barricade, the name sounded familiar to me but I couldn't place why. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were on edge something that wasn't normal, I think they might have had bad run in's with Barricade in the past. Whatever the reason was for them to be on edge it was starting to make me jumpy and paranoid. I can't wait for everything to settle down and get back to normal, well as normal as it could. To be honest I should have known something bad was going to happen, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had left me to my therapy session with Soundwave, Prowl was outside the brig waiting, but the inside of the brig was unusually silent. I sat in front of the bars to Soundwave's cell. I guess I would start off with telling him about one of my memories returning. I sighed as I raised my head to look at him, "I had a flashback the other day, not sure if I mentioned it last time we talked but it just came too me after a workout." I told Soundwave. I watched him lean forward closer to me from where he was situated in his cell, not a single word was uttered from him. "I remember this trainer... Yes this trainer had been drilling me to get this dance down correctly to be able to help me on these so called missions. I didn't need to practice it over and over again, but I did. I was like a sheep a mindless fragging sheep doing what I was told over and over just to fragging please the people who were ruining my fragging life!" At that point I was yelling about everything I was made to do while following like a naive little girl who foolishly thought that if she did those things she would please the people in charge to where they wouldn't hurt her anymore or make her kill more people in an endless cycle. Tears were coming down my face as I started gasping for air not even paying any mind to the hysterical laughter that was spilling from my lips. "But do you know the worst thing? The worst fragging thing that I did was failing those SLAGGING missions! They killed the man that showed me kindness and that I didn't have to follow whatever they said. They killed him just because I couldn't kill him, myself." I started to mutter to myself about everything that went wrong on the missions I was forced to go on. A loud clang interrupted me as the door to the brig was thrown open. Prowl came rushing in, took one look at me on the ground in front of the cell with a tear stained face and giggles escaping me and frowned at what he saw before scooping me up into his servo. I had fallen silent.

I was pretty sure I had concerned just about everyone that we passed by as Prowl took me to the medbay. It was really unusual for me to be silent or so I was told. I'm pretty sure I zoned out of reality for a while, because when I found myself in the medbay seeing a concerned Ratchet in front of me, it was only then that I realized that I freaked out on Soundwave during the therapy session. "Are you ok, Solaris?" Ratchet asked me. I wasn't sure how to answer that truthfully. In all honesty no I wasn't ok, but I wouldn't tell him that, I didn't need to throw more onto his already loaded plate. "Yes, I'm feeling better. Just had to get a lot off of my shoulders and I guess I just unloaded in a very unhealthy way that scared everyone." I replied to his question. I could tell he didn't fully believe me but he left it be. He shared a look with Prowl before turning to go work on the mech on the exam table next to me, I slumped down a little as I ran my hands through my hair.I don't know why I blew up like that, I certainly didn't mean to scare anyone either. I looked up at Prowl to see if he would take me back to the brig so I could apologize to Soundwave about the whole freaking out thing, but found him watching Ratchet as he worked on the mech that looked almost exactly like Prowl if he wasn't as badly dented up as the mech was. I was pretty sure that the mech I was looking at was Barricade. The twins had told me a little bit about him and I remember the announcement from earlier this morning that Ironhide would be bringing him in to hopefully rehabilitate him now that the war was over. I knew that majority of the decepticons were in the brig but I had only seen Soundwave up close and now Barricade as brought back the thought that if Megatron wasn't dead the autobots would still be going up against them in a never ending war. I watched Prowl leave in a hurry, I could only guess that something had happened and he was called away to deal with it. "Don't worry Solaris, Prowl commed me saying the twins would be coming to pick you up after they get done with monitor duty. As for your blood work results, now that I'm finished with Barricade I can go retrieve them and tell you what they say." Ratchet spoke up to inform me. I nodded in response as my mouth was suddenly too dry to form a response. Ratchet left to go retrieve the results and I was left alone with Barricade. It must have been only a few seconds after Ratchet had left that I heard Barricade's systems power on. I looked up from the stress ball that Prowl had left with me, as I watched Barricade power on. With a groan and some creaking joints that could only spell trouble he sat up, and took in the room he was in. I could barely make out something about Ironhide being a slagger for knocking him into brief stasis. I think I might have made a sound as his gaze snapped to me, the next thing I knew I was in his servo with him holding me tightly to his chassis. "You're alive.. You're alive, thank Primus you're alive! I tried so hard to keep you with me but you got knocked out of my grasp, you have to understand little one that I truly tried my best to keep you with me. My failure as your Sire was what ultimately lead me to become a decepticon. I couldn't face your carrier afterwards... Your other sires split ways; Prowl went with your carrier to the Autobots and Soundwave eventually made his way to the decepticons, though he was only supposed to be there as a spy for a short period of time, but my recklessness was what made him stay. They all had thought I was with you in safety..But I wasn't." Barricade sobbed as he held me closer. I was very confused on what he was talking about, and that was the scene that Ratchet walked in on.