In the end, Faith hadn't needed to intercede with Buffy on Tara's behalf, despite very much wishing that she could have done so. For better or for worse, Tara was strong enough to walk out of the Summers house and find housing on campus at UC Sunnydale. Faith had helped her to move some of her heavier boxes of various things from one place to the other, and Tara had seemed grateful.

Every time that Faith told her how stupid it was that she was the one being forced out, Tara reminded her that she wasn't being forced to do anything, but was taking control of her own life. Faith thought that Tara was just using words to make herself feel not so under the heel of anyone else, and if that meant the illusion of control rather than actual control, then she'd let Tara believe it. And for her part, Tara seemed so firm in that belief that it actually made Faith start to doubt herself a little bit. Not a lot, but it was enough to make her realize that she was still underestimating Tara Maclay.

Willow either didn't know or else didn't appreciate what she was throwing away, and Faith never thought that she'd ever get to feel morally superior to Willow Rosenberg of all people. Despite all of that, Faith knew how much Tara cared for Willow, at the very least. So while she probably didn't deserve it, Faith would keep an eye out for Willow and try to stop her from doing anything too stupid or destructive. If only for Tara's sake, Faith would look out for the woman her friend was in love with.

Faith understood what love felt like now. More specifically, she knew what being in love felt like, and it hurt like hell. Her chest constantly felt like it was on fire, and she was constantly afraid that she would do or say the wrong thing and drive Buffy away for good. She knew with certainty that she wasn't good enough for Buffy, but the passion that they'd shared – twice now – was undeniable, and it came from both of them. And just remembering that feeling, and the fear that it could all go away if the slightest thing went wrong…

Love was a constant burn in her heart, and it hurt like hell, but it was strangely intoxicating. Sex only lasted for a while, but this feeling, this pain in her chest… It didn't fade, and Faith never wanted it to fade, despite or maybe because of the unique ache she felt.

All the same, Faith had no idea what Buffy was feeling. What was she capable of feeling after being yanked out of heaven? For the moment, Faith put those thoughts to the side as she settled in for the long haul of her other sacred duty that nobody had warned Faith about until she was in too deep.

Willow was out of the house, likely drowning her sorrows, and Buffy was out slaying, which left Faith in a perilous predicament. Keeping a fifteen-year old kid entertained at night while those who knew her far better were out doing all the stuff that Faith had thought she'd be able to do now that she was out of prison.

"So…" Dawn said after they'd finished a few slices of pizza. "This is weird."

Faith chuckled. "Yeah, tell me about it. Last thing I pictured myself doing was playing babysitter to anyone. But, then again, you had to prove that you needed one on Halloween, so you're stuck with me, squirt. What do you do for fun when B's not around?"

Dawn shrugged. "When it was Willow or Tara, they'd just listen to me talk about school, about boys, sometimes help me with my homework. That kind of stuff. What did you do for fun when you were alone at home?"

Faith took a gulp from a bottle of soda. It would've been beer, but she didn't want to get drunk on a job this important. "You don't wanna know what my life was like at fifteen, Lil D. Trust me."

"Why not?" Dawn asked, crossing her arms and adopting an expression that could only be described as saying 'try me.'

Faith sighed, not having anticipated having this talk with anyone, let alone Buffy's kid sister. "Because my growing up years weren't as happy as yours were. Not by a long shot."

Dawn snorted. "Yeah, right. Did you have a sister who caused your parents to get divorced when she burned down the gym at her high school? Did you get forced into moving to a new town, and then your sister started acting strangely and wouldn't ever talk straight to you? Did your life turn upside down when you realized that you'd been living on a Hellmouth with vampires and demons and who knows what else, and your sister knew, and you only found out by accident?!"

"Dawn…" Faith said, holding her aching head. "Shut up, okay?"

Whatever Dawn had been expecting, it most certainly wasn't that. "What?" she responded curtly.

Faith sighed. "I mean… Have you seen this house you live in? It's huge! You have two floors, and a basement, with enough bedrooms for you, your sister, me, and Tara and Willow, only not Tara anymore. You've got a fridge full of food, and cabinets full of more food. Your sister is a total badass whose job that has your panties all bunched up involves saving your life, saving her friends' lives, saving the lives of people she doesn't know who won't ever know she even exists, let alone thank her. You had a mom who loved you, who was an awesome woman up until the end, and you think you have it anywhere close to bad? Get over yourself, you big baby."

Faith wasn't sure why she was so angry. It wasn't Dawn's fault that she probably hadn't even realized all the things she took for granted, and Buffy was going to be pissed if she thought that Faith did something to hurt her little sister. All the same, Faith wasn't sure how honest to be. Could Dawn handle the ugliness of the world? Did Faith owe it to Dawn to open the kid's eyes?

Alas, Dawn's face still looked the part of the indignant brat who knows everything about the world as, apparently, all kids do when they don't grow up too fast. "I thought babysitters were supposed to take care of people," Dawn said, and it was clear that she was biting back tears.

Faith sighed and put down her drink. "All right, all right. I didn't have to call you names. It's just… You don't know how good you got it, D. All of this," Faith said as she gestured with one open hand to embody the house they now lived in. "Everything you have right now, when I was your age, I would have killed to live like this. And that's not me saying that like 'I'd kill to be popular' or whatever. I would have literally shanked people in the guts and left them to die if I could have their house, if it was a house like this. But the world doesn't work like that, which is probably good for a lot of nice, decent people living in Boston when I was your age."

Now Dawn was looking at Faith with something appreciating respect. She didn't look angry anymore. She looked curious, eager to hear more. "What made your old home so bad that you'd… That you'd do that to someone, just for a place like this?"

"Dammit, Dawn!" Faith said, more annoyed at the situation than at herself or at Dawn. "This isn't something I can just talk to you about! Not without telling Buffy first. I'm not your family, and while I really don't know much about a good family, I don't think Buffy or Joyce would've liked me talking to you about my crappy childhood without one of them here to tell me what's okay to tell you and what isn't."

Faith took a deep breath and came up with a thought. "Okay, let's put it like this. You remember Halloween, right? Ignore all the vampire crap for now. Let's say I never came along, and let's say those two guys really were just ordinary, human boys. How did you imagine that night ending up?"

Dawn looked down, and Faith noticed her cheeks flush. "Well, uh… I guess we would've maybe done a few more pranks. Then… I dunno? Maybe gone out to the park. Or maybe a hotel for one night. And then we'd… You know, right?"

"You'd have sex? Finally understand what all the grownups love and understand that you don't get? Have the best night of your life without your sister or anyone else being any the wiser? That about it?"

Dawn shrugged. "Well, yeah."

"All right," Faith said, humoring the kid. "And what if, say, you got to the big moment, but then you get cold feet. You're suddenly not so sure anymore. Maybe things are going too fast. Is this really how you want your first time to be like? What do you do when those thoughts come into your head?"

"I'd tell him to stop," Dawn said simply.

"Yeah, sure," Faith replied casually. "And what if he didn't stop? What would you do?"

The look on Dawn's face told Faith that the poor kid hadn't thought of that. "I'd push him off of me-"

"You can't. He's bigger than you. He weighs more, and he's done this before. He's already on top of you, and you're not strong to force him off or to wriggle away. What do you do then?"

"Scream," Dawn said without hesitation.

"You can't," Faith said. "Your mouth's covered. Either with his own mouth, or with his hand, or with some little towel or something that he found in the other room. You're alone with a someone bigger than you, stronger than you, who knows just what kids like you want, and he's only too happy to oblige, but not for your sake. He gets to have the time of his life, and you're not even a passenger. You're a hostage, and your first time isn't romantic anymore. It's not delicious forbidden fruit. It's you being violated, forever, because you'll never forget how powerless you felt, and you'll feel ashamed of yourself for being so stupid. And that's just if you slipped up and made that stupid decision on your own. If you're unlucky, you piss off someone you really shouldn't have, and then you're forced into that nightmare again and again. Every. Single. Night."

Faith leaned back and took another sip of soda, hoping her casual appearance and tone of voice was contrasting with her words to get the point across. "You still wanna hear about me when I was your age, Dawn?"

"I'm good, thanks," Dawn said, sounding thoroughly chastised.

"Yes, Little D. You are at that," Faith said more gently. "You are very good, because you had a good mom who brought you up right, and you have a great sister who anyone would be lucky to have in their life, and you have a home to come back to every night with the promise of three meals a day, plus snacks if you want them, and maybe even dessert."

Dawn just nodded absently as she processed Faith's words. Hopefully, the kid would take the hint and realize that there were some things she just wasn't ready for yet. But then the brat got a wicked grin on her face. "Speaking of my great older sister, Faith… Your words, not mine, if I'm not mistaken-"

"Don't you go there, Dawn!" Faith said, her voice rising as she began to realize where this was headed.

"So, normally, I would talk to Willow or Tara about boys, but let's talk about Buffy," Dawn said with all the mischievousness of a fifteen-year old girl. "Honestly, the thought of you two together is still super weird, but I heard you sing. 'I've always been yours.' How long is 'always,' Faith?"

Faith did not want to have this conversation with anyone. Never, at all, under any circumstances. But she couldn't put the genie back in the bottle. She'd sung her heart out, and everyone in Buffy's life knew about it.

Even the ones who weren't part of her life anymore. Giles had said he would be there as Faith's watcher, but then Buffy had come back and he'd proven himself to be only human. He'd tried to fall back into the surrogate father role that he'd been for so long, only to feel that he wasn't needed anymore. Buffy was financially sound. She was surrounded by her friends. And she was leaning on him as a crutch, and so he'd left Buffy, for her own good in his mind.

As for Faith, well, she had Buffy to look after her and to train her, and all the other Scoobies to fall back on if she needed help. Or at least, that's what Faith would have expected Giles to say. She hadn't really let him say much of anything to her to explain things. She'd gotten all defensive and passive aggressive, and before she knew it, Giles was gone.

But Faith was still in Buffy's life, as was Dawn, as were many others, and they all knew how Faith felt about Buffy. Faith thought that she'd stopped hiding when she had turned herself into prison, but if she really wanted to be free, she'd have to open up.

"Always is always, Dawn. I had a watcher for a couple of months. After I got my powers, I fought my way out of the life I'd been in, and I got into some scrapes to see just how much I could get away with. I didn't make myself hard to be found. So one night, it's pouring rain, and this woman, maybe a bit older than Joyce, offers me an umbrella. Like a spare umbrella, not just a spot under hers. I ask her what the catch is, and she teases me with just enough to get me curious. And that's how I met Diana, my watcher, and maybe the first person to give a damn about me in my entire life."

Dawn nodded. "So is this before or after 'always?'"

"Before, but we're almost there, so don't get all impatient," Faith said with a smile as some genuinely fond memories came back to her. "So, we go to this coffee shop, and Diana gives me the 411 on the whole deal with slayers, vampires, demons, all that jazz. And before I can even wrap my head around this whole new world, she tells me that there's someone just like me, only she's been doing this for about three years or so. And so Diana starts to tell me stories about Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer, and all her adventures in the fight against evil."

Faith leaned back on the couch and let her head fall back as she looked up at the ceiling. "The second I find out that I have superpowers, there's also bad guys that I gotta face. But it's all good, because there's already a superhero out there. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a real life superhero. She was proof that there was such a thing as a hero who fought for the good guys. Hell, she was proof that good guys were real. And I knew that I had to meet her. I had to meet the woman who I'd never known that I wanted to be, and I knew that no matter what, just knowing that she was out there made me feel…" Faith decided to stop there, not knowing what else to say.

Dawn just nodded. "And that's 'always,' huh?"

Faith raised her head back up and looked at Dawn with a warm smile. "Yeah. That's 'always,' and it's still 'always,' and it will never not be 'always.'"

Dawn propped herself up onto the couch and sat next to Faith. "I never thought I'd say this about anything you had to say, Faith – no offense – but that's maybe the most romantic thing I've ever heard."

"No offense taken, kiddo," Faith said. "And when you put it like that, I feel stupid as all hell." Faith stretched her arms above her head, and as her left arm came down, she looked at the watch on her wrist. "Damn, how long've we been talking? It's after eleven already. Since when am I the responsible one around here? I know B's hours can be long, but Red should've been back by now."

"I thought you hated Willow," Dawn said, her words more of a question than a statement of fact.

Faith closed her eyes and tried to think. "Willow's done some bad stuff. She hurt me, she hurt Buffy, and she hurt Tara. That being said, she's not exactly the only one who's hurt people that live here. Gotta remind myself of that sometimes. What gets me is that while Buffy was… While she was gone, Willow and Tara moved into look after you. Tara left to get some space, and Buffy's out with the slayage. Willow's usually the one on top of the serious stuff, like looking out for you, Dawn. Or at least coming home before you're supposed to be asleep. And speaking of which…"

"Oh, come on!" Dawn whined.

"Hey, I don't want to be the bad guy here, D. But from what I've heard, social services had a file on you and Buffy even before she left for a while, so to say. Now she's back, and unless you want to be hauled off to live with some strangers and never see Buffy again, you gotta get to school on time, every day. It sucks, I know, but you just gotta do it, okay?"

Dawn seemed to think better of picking this particular battle. "All right, fine. I'll see you in the morning, I guess."

"Sure thing, Lil D," Faith said. "Head on upstairs, and I'll clean up here." As Dawn got herself to bed, Faith reflected on how weird it was that she was here, not just babysitting, but cleaning up after a night with pizza and soda and talking about random stuff. It was almost like Faith was living the kind of life that she'd always imagined Buffy and her friends leading. Was she becoming more like them? If so, was she okay with that?"

Faith decided not to think too much about that as she picked up the plates and dumped them into the kitchen sink, napkins in the trash, empty soda bottle in the blue bin because Buffy made a big deal about recycling or whatever, and that was that.

As she was about to head upstairs herself, Faith thought for a moment about her talk with Dawn. The kid should know better than to try to sneak out, but she'd proven that she was still a kid who did not know everything and was likely to screw up plenty more before she learned what she needed to know. So Faith kicked off her boots and laid back on the sofa not too far from the front door, and she vowed to wake in an instant if she had to before she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Faith was suddenly awake, as if roused by some imminent threat. Except that none of her senses were telling her that she or anyone else was in any danger. Sitting up on the couch, she saw that morning had come, but the house was devoid of any sounds of people shifting on mattresses or pouring bowls of cereal or anything else.

Faith slid her boots on and stalked up the stairs as quietly as she could. She glanced into each bedroom on the second floor. All were empty, save for Dawn's bedroom, whose occupant was sleeping peacefully. After a quick check at her watch, Faith decided that she could afford to let Dawn sleep in a little bit longer before she had to get her butt to school.

Heading back downstairs, Faith pulled out a bagel and spread some cream cheese on it by way of a morning snack. She burned through carbs pretty quickly, and it was weird in a good way to have bread that felt so substantive. The perks of being a free woman.

The door from the kitchen to the backyard opened, and Faith turned her head to see Willow walking in with another woman who was very definitely not Tara Maclay. "Well, that didn't take long," Faith said with more than a hint of scorn.

Faith expected Willow to fire back with some nasty retort about how she didn't owe any explanation to anyone, or else how it was none of Faith's business. Instead, Willow's gaze shifted about, and she actually looked guilty.

The other girl – she looked to be about her own age, with light brown hair framing her face on either side – looked to Willow, then back at Faith. "Oh! No. No, I'm not with Willow like that. I didn't realize that her ex would be-"

"I'm not her ex," Faith said quickly. "And if you're not the rebound girl, then you're just a friend, right? The kind who likes to stay out all night, right? Dammit, Red. I thought-"

"I-it's not what you think, Faith," Willow said quickly. "This is Amy. Back in high school, there was a demon, and it caused everyone to go 'burn the witches at the stake.' And that's us! Witches, that is. Amy turned herself into a rat to escape, and, well, she only just got better yesterday."

"Willow did it! She turned me back!" Amy said gleefully. "And let me tell you, I thought I knew magic, but Willow's on a whole other level. Last night, at the Bronze, she owned everyone and everything there. Transmogrification, mostly, but between turning an awful boy band into a much better ladies' performance and caging some guys who wouldn't take no for an answer… Wow! Last night was the most fun I've had in… Well, ever! Wasn't it, Willow?"

Faith stayed silent. She knew that it would eat Tara up inside to hear what Willow had been up to, and Willow seemed to know that. She hadn't failed to notice that Faith and Tara had become friendly, and Willow was probably wondering just how much of this conversation was going to make it back to Tara.

And as Faith had to keep reminding herself, it wasn't like she was a shining role model or anything to live up to, so she'd try not to throw stones in glass houses, or whatever the saying was. "Okay, so that explains why you didn't come home last night, Willow. You know why Buffy never came back?"

The sound of the front door opening caused Faith to whip her head around, and then Buffy was there with them. Only her clothes were rumpled and dirty, and her face was bruised. "What the hell happened to you, B?"

"Demon," Buffy said quickly. "We fought."

"All night?" Willow asked. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Will," Buffy said, though her heart didn't seem to be in it. "I'm fine."

Faith's eyes didn't leave Buffy. She glanced her sister slayer up and down, looking for clues as to what sort of demon could go toe-to-toe with Buffy and keep her at bay for so long. Faith had lived in Buffy's body once, however briefly, and she had a small idea as to what her physical limits were. Buffy worked best when she knew what she was up against. If it had been a new demon, she would have retreated to do research. And Faith didn't know of any kind of demon that Buffy couldn't kill with ease unless…

"I think I'll head back to my dad's now," Amy said. "I'll see you later, Willow?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Amy," Willow said as Amy left the house. "I, um… I think I'm gonna get some sleep." And then Willow went upstairs.

Faith wasn't sure what to make of Buffy, so she'd just have to ask. "What kind of demon was it?"

"Huh?" Buffy asked, not seeming to be entirely present.

"What kind of demon were you fighting all night and into the morning? What sort of nasty beast could take you like that? And I know you're good, but you have your limits. What's really going on, B?"

"Nothing, Faith," Buffy said too quickly. "Nothing happened."

Faith knew what 'nothing' meant. "So there was a happening that didn't happen, was there? What was the nothing that didn't happen? You can't fool me, B. I know you enough to tell when you're lying. So if you don't want to say what happened, then why don't you want to say it?"

Buffy looked away from Faith, and it seemed to Faith to be a very deliberate gesture. "I just wanted to let loose. I wanted to feel alive with no strings attached."

Faith couldn't help but chuckle. Buffy was too pure and goody-goody for her own good. "Check you out, B. Gettin' some action, I get it. It doesn't have to always be a relationship. Sometimes you just want to feel someone inside you and then get lost. No shame in any of that. Must've been some night, the condition you're in. What kind of guy could… Hang on a minute. What kind of guy could do that to you? What kind of guy could even keep up with you for one hour, let alone all night? Only guy I can think of is Angel, and those bruises on your face… That ain't his style."

Buffy laughed and looked at the ceiling, but the laugh was full of pain rather than mirth. "When did you get so smart, Faith? When did I become so easy for you to read? Why don't you hate me, Faith?"

Faith sighed. "This again? Look, if you're afraid of being judged and found wanting, go to Xander or Willow. Me? I've done too much nasty stuff to look down on you for doing something you might not be proud of. Buffy… You didn't have to pretend to be happy before you sang your song. You still don't have to pretend around me. You never need to pretend if it's just me, you hear?"

Buffy looked too tired to fight or make an issue of this, so she just leaned against the wall, her eyes cast downward. "It was Spike. I was with Spike, last night."

Faith's eyebrows shot up. "Spike? As in William the Bloody who has a chip in his head? Huh. I guess if he can't kill you… And you're okay with this? With the guy who made a sexbot that looked just like you? Who has no soul and can't feel anything beyond what he wants and what he wants to take? You sure you can handle that, B? You sure that's… I dunno. Are you sure that's right for you after everything?"

Buffy looked up at Faith, her eyes unreadable. "It's like you said. I just wanted to feel something with no strings attached. He was convenient, and that's it."

Faith nodded, but she wasn't sure if she liked what she was coming to understand. "When I asked you to that school dance a few weeks after I first got into town, you thought I was joking, so I changed it to 'let's find a couple of guys, use 'em and discard 'em.' You joked about it back then, but your heart wasn't in it. What changed between then and now?"

Faith regretted her choice of words the moment they left her mouth. Buffy's glare was proof that she'd said the wrong thing.

"I died, Faith. And I was dragged out of heaven back to this!" she cried, gesturing with one arm to indicate the world they lived in. "And now I really need to get some sleep."

Faith nodded silently and stepped aside to let Buffy pass her and head upstairs. She was still probably aching from a night of rough play…

And it had been rough, if it had been enough to leave bruises... If Spike had merely had sex with Buffy, that would be one thing. But whatever form their play had taken, he'd left physical marks on Buffy's body. That qualified as harming a human, and that was something that Spike shouldn't be able to do with that chip in his skull.

The math had changed. Spike was a threat to everyone, especially to Buffy. If she was willing to let him get close enough to her to do that to her – and there was no way that Buffy wouldn't have noticed his ability to harm her – then she wasn't just using a convenient boy toy. She had just spent her night with a literally soulless killer who was very obviously obsessed with her.

"Note to self," Faith said, her soft voice seething with righteous fury. "Find Spike and end him."