AN: WOW What a Haitus, honestly words probably can't describe the past 2 years, I can't even begin to explain. However, I have returned, I got you homeslice. I meant what I said when I said I would never abandon a story!

Chapter 14

"What?" Zach asked with a very small voice that was very unlike him. "What did you say?"

"'I can do that'?" Grant repeated.

"No, Grant you said you found out...Cammie's your sister?" Zach didn't sound like himself.

I looked and Grant and he looked at me. Apparently that's all the answer Zach needed.

"Seriously? You...how long have you known this?" He demanded to know.

Neither Grant nor I said anything. We just sat there and looked at him. Zach whirled around and picked Jonas up by the throat and got up in his face.

"How. Long?"

"Since summer." I quickly answered.

"Zach, man, let him go!" Nick yelled.

Liz ran pulled Jonas away from Zach as soon as Zach's hand left his throat.

"You've known this long and you didn't tell me?" Zach was horrified at this revelation.

"I didn't want you to know." Grant answered.

"Why? I thought we were friends?" Zach questioned him angrily.

"So did I. I thought we were best friends then I thought about, I really really thought about it and I don't know a thing about you. I didn't want you to know that Cammie was my sister, who knows what you would do to her? Who knows how that would endanger her? I couldn't risk you ruining Cammie so I tried to keep her from you. That very obviously didn't work and I can honestly say I was relieved the day you broke up. I cannot say that I was happy or relieved to see Cammie hurt and in pain but I was glad that you couldn't hurt her anymore. I know you Zach, I know the things you do to people and all the horrible things that happen to people around you on your watch, with your consent, with you doing nothing to stop it and I could never let that happen to Cammie." Grant was yelling at the end.

"I would never let anything happen to Cammie!" Zach tried to respond but Grant wouldn't hear it.

"Open your eyes! Everything that's happened to Cammie, every bad thing has either been because of you or because you refused to protect her or to help her."

"Cammie doesn't need me to protect her!"

"Yes, she does." Jacoby put in, his voice like ice. "Everyone needs someone to watch over them and take care of them. Everyone needs someone to love them. We need each other. Cammie thinks she doesn't need someone to protect her and she's wrong. She can take care of herself most of the time but she can't be alone. She can't stand it. You don't know her as well as you think you do."

"Who do you think you are?" Zach growled.

"Someone who know's Cammie so much better than you do. You never bothered to learn about her. All your observations, all your recon can never teach you all that you need to know about someone, especially people like Cammie." Grant answered for Jacoby.

"I don't need to take your crap." Zach started to leave.

"Oh perfect. Just leave like you always do anytime someone calls you out on your crap. You're just ticked off cause you know we're right. You're not good for her and you never will be." Grant called after him. Zach stopped at Grant's last word.

"I want to be." Zach caught my eye and turned from the room.

"Zach, wait, please." I choked out but just a little too late, he was gone. I jumped to my feet and ran to catch up with him, Grant on my heels.

"Cam, hold up!" Grant caught up to me easily. His nails dug into my arms as he whirled me around to face him. "Cam, he isn't worth it."

I felt a sudden surge of rage towards my twin. "How can you say that? He's your best friend, and he's trying. Who would I be if I left him to suffer alone?" I nearly spit at him.

His eyebrows shot into his forehead, his nails loosening from my skin and I took the opportunity to run towards the boy I wanted to be with.

The sweat dripped down my back as I finally reached Zach. I managed to flag him down and we both sat there breathless for a moment, neither sure how to react to the fact that I chased him. I followed him. He spoke first.

"Why did you follow me?" He kept his distance, his voice was low.

"I...I'm not sure." I leaned closer to him "I guess...I want you to be good for me too."

"So...what does this mean? This doesn't change the fact that I was horrible to you." He pointed out.

"It doesn't change the fact that I lied to you. I guess...I guess it means we've got some stuff to work on." I stated plainly.

"I'm willing to work on it if you are." He stepped closer to me, his breath tickling my cheek.

"I am." I barely managed to squeak out before his lips are against mine.

Warm, but I still shivered. It was hard and soft, unsure yet totally certain. It was every lie we'd ever told and every promise we ever broke and every promise we had yet to make. It was a dream come true and the threat of a nightmare to come. I decided whatever it was, it was worth it. I guess we'll see where it goes.

Grant found us a few minutes later, just kind of looking at each other. Smiling. Cheesey, gross, couple things.

"So I see you've made up." Grant stated plainly coming to stand at my side.

"I see you're not a huge fan of my dating your sister." Zach replied snarkily.

"Well, I'm afraid I just know you far too well." Grant planted his feet, ready for a fight.

"I know. Why didn't you tell me you two were twins?" Zach asked, bringing up a whole new can of worms.

"I didn't want you to know." His hands flew into the air as he lost his footing. "Why do people keep asking me that? Is that a crime? That's it, I really just didn't want you to know. That's all, no hidden motives, no secret family past, that's it. That's it."

"Whoa, okay bro. Chill. That's okay, I respect that." Zach showed his palms in surrender.

"Okay. Thanks. Glad we cleared that up. So we cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool." They did their bro shake and everything was fine. Boys.

"I'm glad we're all on the same page, but if this is going to work we're going to have to agree to some things." Zach stated staring both of us down.

"Like what?" I asked.

"We need to talk about stuff. This whole mess came from us, mostly me, but still, all of us, not listening and it also came from you two not being honest. Can we all agree to try to be honest and open with each other? I promise to believe you." He actually seemed like he wanted to work on this.

"I can agree to that." Grant and I nodded our acquiescence.

"Okay then in the interest of being honest, I don't like the way you hang around that guy." Zach stated looking at me.

"Jacoby?" I asked wearily, I knew where this was headed and it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Yeah, him. What a way to make a guy feel insecure, your girlfriend freaks out and the first thing she reaches for is some other dude." He shook his angrily.

"Zach, I understand where you're coming from but...I can't give up Jacoby. I just can't, I'm...I guess I'm not strong enough yet." I tried to explain.

"What do you mean?" He looked unsure.

"That place...that camp I went to this summer was...awful. More kinds of physical and mental/emotional abuse than I knew existed. Jacoby was my coping mechanism and I was his. My nightmares are getting worse. It's getting bad enough that Bex, Macey, and Liz tracked him down. I've got some stuff to work through but until I can work through it, it makes me feel better to have him around. He knows how to handle the nightmares." I explained the best I could.

"I want to be the one that handles your nightmares. I want to be there for you but it's like you're not even giving me a shot. I've seen this kind of thing before Cam, I think I can help." Zach.

I felt nauseous. I wanted Zach to be able to help me too, but...it scared me. I was afraid it might make it worse. The months I had been without Jacoby were bad to say the least. The fact that the nightmares were getting worse scared me which in turn escalated my nightmares. I didn't want to hurt Zach's feelings but...I couldn't stomach the idea of being without him. Knowing he would be there comforted me.

"Can I make a comment?" Grant asked.

"Sure." Zach nodded towards him.

"I think there's a compromise here, Jacoby could put you through a kind of Cam boot camp until you're just as helpful with the flashbacks as he is. Obviously he can't stay here forever so it would be nice to have someone else around to help out. If Jacoby kinda walks Zach through what he does when you get like that, we could get someone else around to help out when you kind of...go back there." Grant explained.

"I could get on board with that." Zach said after a moment's thought. "Only if you're okay with that Cam, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It might work…" I said in a small voice. The idea of it not working terrified me. I took a deep breath. Jacoby couldn't be around forever. I needed to get through this and slowly distancing myself from him could help. "Let's give it a shot."

"We'll have to talk to Jacoby about it. And the other girls. Thanks for letting me do this Cam...I really want to be better. I'm really trying here." Zach told both of us.

"We know Zach. I appreciate it." I told him truthfully. Grant stepped up and took my hand.

"We appreciate it." Grant corrected. "I hope you'll talk to me about this stuff Zach. Not just for your sake, but for Cammie's."

"I...I'll try bro. I'll really try. I know this is important to you guys." Zach seemed rained. I could tell this was really hard for him. The fact that he was trying meant the world to me. "Let's go find the others and update your girls, eh?"

"What are we, Canadian?" I smiled and let him pull me towards my dorm. Last second, I reached behind me and grabbed Grant's hand. He was in this too. With my best boys by my side, maybe the rest of this semester wouldn't be so bad.

I was half right.

The weeks continued on. We were continually leered at, continually curious about our sisters and as always, homework. For the most part, the boys were nicer. There were of course the ones who liked to flip our skirts, tease us about our gender, and poke fun at us. The days grew shorter and the air grew cold. All I wanted to know was where my mother was.

Solomon did everything he could to make our days at Blackthorne better and tried to keep us busy enough that we didn't miss our sisters too deeply. Most nights I fell into bed too exhausted to dream, but there were always those nights that were plagued by the terrors of my past.

Zach wanted so desperately to help. He tried so hard. But...I just...couldn't let him. When my head was pounding and my mouth was dry, when I was afraid to open my eyes and my lungs refused to do their job, the last person I wanted near me was him. How was I supposed to tell him that?

How was I supposed to tell the boy that I was in love with that I didn't want him around me? How could I tell him when he tried his best to comfort me that all I could think about was my tormentor, his father?