Chapter Sixteen: Grown-Up Conversations
*****Two months after Kilgrave and Jessica met*****
Kilgrave was pacing in front of Jessica and the female gynecologist that had been called to their current 'home', though it was really just a space they invaded. He wasn't worried as much as he was annoyed and bothered.
"Honestly, there might not be a reason she's reacting negatively. It's a rare case, but some women, unfortunately, can't grow accustomed to the hormone change, and it makes them nauseous." The physician answers, glancing at Kilgrave. His silence and stern expression make her feel the need to keep talking, so she goes on, "But… umm… like I said… you might want to bring in an expert who specializes in… gifted people. Her strength might have something to do with her body's rejection of it…"
It had been a few weeks since Jessica started taking birth control pills. It was around the same time that she started genuinely losing her appetite and having extreme cramps. It was killing Kilgrave's mood and honestly their sex life. What was the point of having her on the pill if she's going to be too nauseous to fuck?
"What would you suggest?" Kilgrave growls through his teeth, his pacing coming to a stop.
"We could try giving her an implant? But… I can't say with certainty that it will be any different. I highly suggest that she stops taking the pills altogether because the nausea could worsen. If you're worried about pregnancy, condoms are the safest route right now."
The headache Kilgrave gets from this makes his eyes burn through her. "Leave us." He orders the doctor. On her way out, he adds, "If you have the urge to tell anyone about this, throw yourself off a cliff instead."
Jessica had been sitting there, completely silent, watching him handle the affairs of her body. After two months of being with Kilgrave, the reality and the weight of her situation began to dawn on her. Her attitude and constant need to piss him off weren't helping. Right now, she's rather quiet, though the urge to speak her mind still makes the back of her throat itch.
When they're alone, Kilgrave turns his gaze to Jessica. "Tell the truth. How are you feeling now?" He asks, his tone shifting to something more solemn.
"Still queasy," Jessica mutters back, pulling the skirt of her dress over her knees as she shifts uncomfortably.
His jaw clenches before he commands, clearly still annoyed. "Throw them away."
Knowing what he is referencing, she stands and retrieves the pack of birth control pills from the nightstand by the bed and throws them in the trash, before sitting back down in front of him. Amidst his quietness, she tentatively opens her mouth. "I didn't expect you to care."
Unsure of how this statement was intended, his eyes narrow ever so slightly. "I've learned my lesson before." He answers stiffly.
What she meant was that she didn't think he'd care if she was sick. She had the expectation that he'd make her continue the pills, considering how he didn't want to be bothered with condoms. But his response makes her blink. He responded as if he was talking about the birth control itself. "Have you gotten a girl pregnant before?"
The glare he gives her is one she is familiar with. It meant she should be quiet.
But as if she hasn't learned from the same mistake on countless occasions, she presses on. "You never tell me anything about your past."
"With cause." He mutters back, although he makes his way over and sits on the sofa next to her. "You know, there's a reason I have trust issues." Either he's trying to prove that he can open up about some things or is simply grumbling to himself about part of his life that still angers him, because he says through gritted teeth, "She thought it was in her best interest to lie to me about being on birth control."
With a horrible feeling that she knows how this story ends, Jessica murmurs, "Did she end up pregnant?"
A glazed-over look shadows his eyes. "She didn't live long enough to find out." The statement is spoken with a great level of resentment still underlying it.
A cold chill tears down Jessica's spine.
The moment passes as quickly as it came. "Tell me. Do you want children, Jessica?" When he asks this, he stares at her intently, his hand finding its way to rest on her knee.
"No..." She mumbles, hoping that was the right answer. There certainly wasn't any desire in her to have kids under these circumstances, whether she had even considered it before she met him or not. The idea of making a family with him makes her feel sicker than she already is.
"Good. Neither do I." Possessively, he cups her chin and pulls her forward to give her a brief kiss on the lips. "Let's keep it that way."
*****GROWN-UP CONVERSATIONS*****
*****Present day*****
Day 9:
Kilgrave and Jessica lie in bed together. It's a Saturday morning and Axel hasn't woken up yet, giving them the perfect opportunity to take a moment for themselves. Jessica lies on her back with Kilgrave pressed against her side. His arm draped over her waist and his hand slid up the bottom of her shirt to rest on her stomach. His thumb strokes her navel on repeat, rather slowly. She has her eyes closed, but Kilgrave knows she's awake, leaving him to question whether or not she's pretending to be asleep or is just that relaxed.
Kilgrave shifts for the first time in about an hour when he sees something on her arm. "What's this?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowed. Pulling his hand out from under her shirt, he gently runs his finger over the small incision mark on Jessica's bicep with a small bruise formed around it.
Jessica sighs through her nose and leaves her eyes closed. She had preferred to keep this conversation from happening a little longer, but she can't avoid it forever. "It's a birth control implant." She mumbles in response.
Kilgrave sits up and leans on his elbow to look at her. It doesn't get her to open her eyes and make eye contact, however. "And it actually works?"
"They did some tests on me, so yeah. I should be fine." Her answer is rigid as she's briefly reminded of their past.
Trying to absorb this information and the implications it comes with, Kilgrave chooses to ask, "Did you ever plan on telling me?"
"It has nothing to do with you." Her tone remains even, but her eyes finally open when he starts to laugh. "What?" She scowls.
"It has nothing to do with me?" He continues to laugh softly. "For the amount of time that I've known you, Jessica, there are still some things about you that I don't understand."
She must be in a mood that's not shitty enough for her to shut down this conversation immediately or push him out of bed. Instead, she looks back up at him and asks, "Yeah, like what?"
"Like how you can exclude me from decisions and knowledge about things that clearly impact the both of us." There are plenty of things he could be thinking about the implant, but the notion doesn't seem to bother him very much. His voice stays light as he briefly tilts his head at her.
There's a slight pause as she eyes him. When she speaks, her words come out slower than usual, as if she were alluding to something more. "It can't impact you if we're not having sex."
That sentence under different circumstances could mean a number of different things. But the way she says it here and now, catches Kilgrave's attention. He pauses and tries to analyze her expression for the appropriate response. Unable to find any clues in her eyes, he's slow to answer, "Should I do something about that?"
Jessica's eyes roll and she pushes him away before getting out from under the covers and standing up. The tank top she had on was crumpled up over her stomach, but she doesn't bother trying to pull it down or cover her bare legs. The smallest smirk appears on her face as she makes for the door. "I'm going to shower."
Kilgrave watches her leave as the beat of his heart gradually quickens. There's only a handful of seconds that he hesitates, replaying the signs in his head before he leaps off the bed and follows her, tip-toeing past Axel's room. He doesn't bother to knock as he twists the bathroom doorknob and invites himself inside.
She had only gotten the chance to turn the water on and let it start heating up before she's interrupted. Though her expression shows her surprise, the likelihood that she's actually startled is slim.
In two quick motions, he closes the door behind him and steps to her, pulling her closer by her shirt. The kiss he gives her is not gentle, though it is slow.
Her quickness to reciprocate and kiss him back is promising. Normally for Jessica, she wouldn't go this extended amount of time without having sex, and she would have picked up another random guy four days ago. But with the madness of Kilgrave's resurrection and return to her life, she convinced herself that she had no time to pursue a random fuck-boy. The problem is, the tension from her libido is starting to affect her again, so what better relief than the person sleeping in bed with her. She would have said, 'took you long enough…' right about now, but she doesn't want to give him the wrong impression.
Instead, she doesn't delay grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him backwards into the bathtub with her under the running water. It's luckily warm enough now as it pours over them and makes the clothes they're wearing stick to their bodies.
Kilgrave doesn't miss a beat and grins as they get in together. Breaking the kiss, he looks down at his hands as he takes the bottom of her soaking tank top and carefully pulls it over her head. "Your clues were a little too obvious." He whispers sarcastically, still grinning. "You should make it harder to figure out next time." Tossing her shirt on the side of the tub, he gazes down at her naked breasts with admiration, before bending down to kiss them.
"Mhm…" Humming, she bites her lip briefly, as he licks up the constant stream of water that trickles from the tops of her breast to her nipples. "I don't know what you mean." She lies, reaching for his boxers. "It's not like you need an excuse, anyway."
He scoffs a little, his lips finding their way back up to her neck. "Why are you so opposed to telling me when you want me?" He whispers in her ear as he kisses it, taking a hold of her underwear and starting to push it down.
Her body convulses for a moment just after her eyes darken. "Are you telling me I need to be more direct?" She asks, snarling quietly as she helps him get her drenched underwear off, kicking them away.
"Yes." He answers against her lips, kissing her again.
To his surprise, she spins them around and pushes him against the wall. Swiftly, she takes the front of his boxers and pushes them down, freeing his hard length. "Fine." When he leans forward to connect their lips, she quickly shoves his chest back and growls. "Don't move."
His eyes flash as he watches her. Combing her wet hair back, she turns away from him for a split second and picks up some soap, working up some foam into her hands. The next thing she does is take his cock in one hand and slowly rub it, closing the space between their bodies again.
Kilgrave's breath hitches as he pushes his hips closer to her. When her thumb strokes over his tip, he groans. "Fuck…"
There's a certain pulse that can be felt between her legs when she hears this. Driven only by the desire that has been consuming her the past few days, she leans forward and whispers to him this time. "I want you..." Her lips press to the side of his neck, followed by her fiercely sucking on his skin as her grip around him tightens and the movement of her hand becomes more forceful.
He whimpers and his eyes roll back, letting his head fall against the wall. His hands hold onto her waist for dear life, pressing his fingertips into her skin, only because he knows she can take it.
"Better?" She asks rhetorically, lifting her lips only to pick a new spot on his neck to suck on, occasionally pulling at his skin with her teeth. Her hand loosens again, rhythmically changing her grasp on his cock to ensure he doesn't come. Not without her.
"Jessica…" He utters breathlessly, her name coming out of his mouth naturally, as he associated every sexual feeling with her. Water drips down his face past his lips as he leaves his mouth hanging open to breathe.
With enough anticipation built, Jessica keeps a hold of him and lets his shaft brush against her stomach momentarily on its way between her legs. She doesn't tease him much longer before she goes up on her toes and eases herself down onto him. Both of them moan in unison as his tip slowly stretches her open.
Kilgrave turns them so Jessica is against the wall again and she lets him, as he immediately lifts her leg from under her thigh. With his hand gripping her skin, and the water rushing down on them, he jerks his hips upward to force the entirety of himself into her.
The satisfaction of that feeling causes Jessica to whine, leaning forward to shut herself up and kiss him on the lips. Her tongue grinds against his and effectively muffles her sounds. As Kilgrave finds an appropriate, yet fluctuating pace for his thrusts, she wraps her arms around his neck and runs her hand through his hair, following the motion of the water that showers down.
As she tugs on his hair, he growls and adds a distinct roughness to his movements, his hold on her skin becoming more firm. He's the first to break the kiss in need of breath, as steam was beginning to fill the bathroom with them. Instead, his mouth falls on her breasts once more, lazily dragging his tongue over her chest.
Her eyes stay screwed shut as water pours down her face and she takes every part of him in stride. The harder his hips jerk, the more she moans, her clitoris stimulated by the closeness of his body. The franticness of that feeling becomes more prevalent as she paws at his back and tugs at his hair a little more passionately.
Though he had done a good job bringing them both close to the edge, Kilgrave purposely brings his hips to a drastic slowdown. It's jarring enough to make Jessica open her eyes and stare at him with what could only be seen as desperation. "Kilgrave…" She mumbles, peering at him with impatience, desperate to regain the overwhelming feeling he had just interrupted.
"Shh…" He shushes her with a small smile. He wasn't ready for this to be over yet. So in an attempt to extend this moment, he pulls his cock out of her completely and very slowly edges it back in.
The elongated mewl Jessica reciprocates is the one he was looking forward to hearing. The pumps in and out of her that follow are just as agonizingly slow. He holds her attention by keeping his eyes on hers, then he gently kisses her lips. The kiss doesn't last long, but his lips hover over hers to let the taste of her linger.
It doesn't take much once he increases the speed again for him to unravel at the same time as her. When he comes, he presses his entire body into her and groans in her ear, his hips beginning to twitch as he comes inside her. Her orgasm makes her muscles contract, though she does her best not to claw at his back. She fiercely bites down on her lip but it doesn't stop the involuntary stream of whimpers from escaping her throat.
Dropping her leg, Kilgrave rests his head on her shoulder, taking a second to breathe. Her hand slides out from his hair, but leaves her arms around him, resting her head on the wall behind her. After a moment passes, he shifts and eases himself out of her once more, his strings of come wash down the drain with the flow of the water.
Her legs tremble slightly but she stays standing as the high gradually fades from both of them. Kilgrave indolently kisses her neck and she receives each with a soft hum.
They linger there for quite some time, letting the water wash over them.
Jessica is the first to move, as she becomes aware of the time. Axel will be waking up on his own soon.
"Come on," She utters, gently nudging him away from her.
Kilgrave tries not to pout as she hurriedly wipes herself down with some soap and steps out, leaving him alone under the warm stream.
Knowing that protest isn't likely to change anything, he follows her lead with a short wash, turning the water off behind him. By the time he steps out, she already has a towel wrapped around her and is waiting to hand him one.
He smirks to himself and takes it from her, taking his time drying off before putting it around his waist. "That was fun." He remarks, with a teasing tone, breaking the momentary silence.
She scowls at him as she wrings out her hair. "Don't make it weird."
Laughing, he waits next to her, standing in front of the mirror as the steam begins to clear. "I could say the same to you. You're awfully quiet."
"I don't have anything to say." Her response is firm but her expression remains softened, admittedly content with what had just occurred.
He smirks, looking back at the mirror as the remainder of the fog clears. His eyebrows raise as he sees himself. "Jesus Christ, Jessica…" Tilting his head to the side, he runs his fingers over the forming hickeys on his neck. They're already a deep purple color.
Peering at him, she blinks as if she were just now noticing them as well. "Oh… oops…" She mutters, followed by a guilty shrug.
"Oops? That's it?" Rubbing over the marks, it's hard for him to fake being upset when what he really feels is a sense of pride.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it now?"
"What's Patsy going to say when she sees me like this tonight? What, are you gonna tell her you punched me in the throat instead? I'm not sure which is more believable..." Kilgrave playfully grins at her.
Jessica's eyes narrow. "We're not going to that fucking dinner. I told you -"
There's a startling, yet incredibly timid knock on the bathroom door. "Mommy? I have to pee…" Axel murmurs through the door.
"Shit." Jessica curses very quietly under her breath. "Okay, kid." She calls back, "Mommy will be out in a minute. Can you hold it that long?"
There's a short pause on the other side. "I think so…"
Frantically, Jessica picks up her wet underwear and shirt from the tub and shoves Kilgrave into action. "Put your boxers on!" She snaps, keeping her volume low.
"Put them on?!" He whispers back, picking them up off the shower floor.
"Yes! I don't want him getting the wrong idea."
"Jessica, they're soaking wet."
"Fine!" She growls, just hoping Axel doesn't piss himself, before swinging the door open and pulling Kilgrave out with her.
The look on Axel's face is pure confusion when he sees the both of them. He shifts a little anxiously, holding his hand between his legs. "Hi, Daddy…"
"Hey, Axel." Kilgrave smiles, stumbling out of the bathroom, gripping his underwear and the towel around his waist.
Doing the best she could to explain this away in one sentence or less, Jessica blurts out, "We were just having a conversation… for grown-ups only..."
"You have grown-up conversations in the bathroom?" Axel asks, with genuine curiosity.
"Yeah…" Jessica answers, unconvincingly, before carefully nudging Axel into the bathroom. "Now go ahead." When she closes him in, she glares at Kilgrave with irritation.
Immediately on the defensive, he throws his hands up, trying not to laugh as he asks, "How is this my fault?"
*****GROWN-UP CONVERSATION*****
It was right around seven o'clock and the instant there's a knock on the door, Kilgrave springs to his feet as if he's been expecting it.
Jessica growls at his response, already expecting the worst from him. "Who is that?"
Without answering her, he swings the door open and invites the babysitter inside. "Hello, Penny." Kilgrave says, glancing back at Jessica with a smile.
Penny is a fairly small, blonde woman in her early thirties. As Jessica is with anyone she leaves around Axel, she did a thorough background check along with a chemistry test with Axel to make sure they got along before hiring her. At this point, Penny had been babysitting Axel for close to two years and he considered her like an older sister.
This isn't the first time she's met Kilgrave so she reciprocates a smile. "Hi, David."
At the sound of her voice, Axel trots from behind the open door to his room and immediately hugs her leg. "Penny! I finished the picture I was working on before! Wanna see?" Already tugging at her sleeve, Axel attempts to pull her towards his room.
"Of course!" Penny laughs, taking his hand as she moves inside but stops to acknowledge Jessica. "Hi, Jessica. Like I told David, I'm okay with putting him to bed if you're planning on being out for more than a few hours."
The fact that Jessica wasn't aware of any of this becomes apparent by her face. Instantly glaring at Kilgrave she grinds her teeth. "You called her here?"
Flustered and growing more embarrassed, Penny starts to blush, "I'm sorry, you didn't know?"
Holding her tongue so she doesn't swear excessively in front of Axel, Jessica doesn't break her glare. "No. I didn't."
"Can you give us a minute?" Kilgrave says to Penny, still smiling as he approaches Jessica and manages to drag her into her bedroom.
The second the door is closed, she shoves him and growls, keeping her volume fairly low. "What the fuck, Kilgrave! How do you even have her number?!"
Waving his hand as if that's a trivial detail, he says, "Patsy gave it to me, but that's not important..."
"I can't believe you!"
"Jessica…" He purrs, stretching out her name. "What do I have to do to get you to come to dinner? Do I have to beg?"
Her eyes roll. "When has begging ever worked for either of us?"
She had a point. Either way, he takes a step closer to her. "In thirty minutes, your sister is going to be sitting at an empty table at a restaurant, where she's already made reservations, waiting for us to arrive. Do you really want to just leave her there? Besides, you're going to have to clear some things up about us with her eventually, right? Why not now, on your own terms?"
Rolling her eyes again, she hesitates to say anything, most likely weighing the pros and cons in her head. Eventually, she starts slowly, "If we go, you are not allowed to control the narrative. I will do the talking. Am I clear?"
"Crystal." He smirks, gleaming with excitement.
"Fine." She mumbles, going to open the door. "Let's go."
As he's in a suit and she's in jeans, he looks her up and down. "What are the chances I get you to wear a dress?"
"In your fucking dreams."
He shrugs, unable to wipe the grin off his face. This was going to be interesting.
Author's note:
So I promised someone a long time ago (shortly after season 2 came out), that I would write a shower scene for JJ and KK. And here we are!
It has been a while, goddamn! I won't make excuses, but I'd like to apologize to everyone who has been patiently waiting for the next installment. Here's to hoping it won't take so long for the one after this.
'Lady in rose' has been continually helping me sort my ideas and flesh out the plot, and now I just picked up a new beta, 'Torch'! She's helping me eliminate my typos and mistakes I often miss, so a big thanks to her as well!
Happy holidays everyone! You guys are the best!