Chapter 14: Everything Has Changed

Lily woke up to Juniper meowing by the door around seven in the morning. The timid meows were announcing the sunrise, thereby proclaiming Juniper's reminder that it was time to eat breakfast. Lily stretched out her toes, in turn feeling James shift in his sleep beside her. A smile stretched across her face. James' head was cradled in his arm, which was resting on one of the many pillows. His other arm was draped around Lily's body and his fingertips danced along her hips when he shifted.

Suddenly, James pulled her in closer.

Lily slowly turned onto her side, moving against his grasp enough that James popped one sleepy eye open. Lily used a free hand to brush his curls from his eyes. His smile fluttered momentarily as his eyes scraped across her face. He was warmth and happiness all in one perfect package. They didn't speak, not while they were too busy soaking in the relaxed feeling between them. The clock on the wall ticked insistently and then Juniper continued her serenade to the bedroom door, forcing them to acknowledge sunrise.

"What does your blasted cat want now?" James mumbled dismally but his voice gave off a playful tune.

"Probably to eat." Lily said, "she acts starved."

"Starved."

James mocked as he pulled Lily in tighter with both arms, making her bury her face into his shirt. James' hand smoothed her red hair against the back of her head as they both breathed in deep. Love radiated from his every orifice, pushing Lily to kiss under his neck sloppily.

"I can't remember the last time I woke up this content." James' body moved under her touch.

Lily buried her nose into him, "I can't remember a time I've been this happy."

"I feel like the best version of myself with you." He replied, his fingers moving along her skin.

She smiled at him, "I love you."

His hazel eyes grew sprightly, "I love you too, Red."

Lily stretched again before slowly sliding from his arms. James disputed and tightened his hold, making her snigger as she collapsed back into his chest. She put her chin on his chest and stared at him with a playful glare.

"I have work to do."

"But the moment you leave, we have to go back to normal," he said, "and I'm not ready to let go."

She wasn't ready to let go yet either, but she had plans and James wasn't part of her day. At least not in the physical sense. James' eyes begged her to stay and his mouth begged her for another kiss. He was going to ruin her plans if she didn't get away from his convincing stare soon.

"James," Lily pushed both her hands against his pull, "I have business to do."

"Do it from bed."

Lily laughed as his left hand dragged over her thigh, then her arse. She shook her head no, prompting him to frown.

"Just five more minutes," James begged, "before I have to pretend that I wasn't up here the entire night in your arms when Dung finds me to give me notes from the night."

"Fletcher probably doesn't appreciate being called Dung." Lily shimmied the covers off her shoulders.

James followed her up into a sitting position, his lips attaching to hers. Lily's eyes closed instinctively, and she kissed him back. James clearly thought he'd won, but as he tried to guide her back into the pillows, she ripped her mouth from his.

"Evans." He whined, "come on, we only get a few more minutes together."

"Then help me pick out something to wear to Carmen's place tonight."

James cursed as she got out of bed. He followed her motions though and grumbled when he started pulling on his prosthetic. Lily shot him an amused glance as she started digging through her dresser for clothes. He was slapping the gears together somewhat violently.

Lily raised a brow in his direction, "someone's still bitter we aren't alone anymore."

James huffed, "I do a fine job by myself."

"I feel my safest in your arms." Lily sang as she pulled out a chunky white sweater to pair with her black leggings and black combat boots.

James' smile returned, "glad to know I'm doing my job well."

"You're my favorite guard," she appeased, "not much competition to be honest."

He shook with laughter as he stood up, "right."

Lily knew that he knew she'd much rather stay in bed but for the first time in a long time, Lily felt more like going out into the world and giving back to her fans. She had her mind set on a goal, and as much as she wanted to lay the day away, she was feeling...happy.

The sentiment hit her like a freight train as she brushed her auburn hair using a thick brush. She was truly happy, especially when James came around to press one more chaste kiss to her mouth. It wasn't just happiness she was feeling. It was pure and utter contentment that had settled into her bones as James pulled away, smiling. She felt like the dust after the bomb had finally settled, and the ash washed away from his showering of love,

James went downstairs first, Juniper following out the door between his legs. Lily heard him sweet talking the cat as they made their way to the primary floor. Her heart warmed knowing that James loved Juniper as much as she did now, despite how he criticized the fat black cat.

Once downstairs herself, Lily skipped for her phone. She felt in control of her own life and career for the first time in months as she called Peter's office phone. The phone rang twice to no answer. Finally, on the third ring, the phone was picked up. A female voice echoed in Lily's ear musically.

"Peter Pettigrew's office, Samantha speaking."

"Samantha!" Lily said cordially, "it's Lily Evans!"

"Miss Evans." Lily could hear the smile in Samantha's voice, "wow, hi! How can I help you today?"

"I need to speak with Peter please."

"He just went into a closed-door meeting," Samantha said, "do you want me to go get him? Is there something wrong?"

"Something right, actually," Lily said, "last night I met this girl, she's a fan of mine and I want to do something nice for her."

"Autograph?" Samantha guessed, "Peter might have spare headshots here."

"No something different " Lily said, "I'm going to sing for her."

"Oh." Samantha sounded surprised instead of the gleeful tone Lily had been waiting for.

"Is something wrong?" Lily asked, leaning against the countertops.

Samantha was hesitant before saying faintly, "Peter told us that you were refusing to perform."

"This isn't a performance so much as a favor." Lily explained, "but Peter will expect me to perform after this reaches the news, so I wanted to warn him before I went tonight that I'm still not ready to perform in front of a large crowd."

"This fan must be special."

"All my fans are special." Lily said confidently, "but Carmen has one of my songs tattooed on her arm and I think she deserves to hear Holy Ground live while I'm nearby."

"That's really sweet," Samantha ruffled papers on her side of the phone, "did you want me to call press for Peter, then?"

"No," Lily said quickly, "I want this to be secret, I'm just calling so Peter can properly be able to tell me I'm a hypocrite."

"A hypocrite?" Samantha sounded surprised, "there's no reason too."

"It's a long story," Lily tapped her fingers against her arm, "but I don't want to do it without Peter's understanding that this doesn't mean I'm ready to tour again."

"Are you sure you want to do it then?" Samantha asked.

Lily thought of Carmen and the tattoo amongst the long thin scars on her tan arm. She thought of how Carmen had kept her promise, and nothing had been said to the press. Lily would've known if Carmen had talked, because Peter would've called the minute he'd heard.

"Yes," Lily took a deep breath, "I want to, even if it means upsetting Peter."

Samantha stopped ruffling her papers before saying, "I know I'm his intern and my words probably mean nothing to you, Miss Evans, but I think that as your manager, Mr. Pettigrew should respect your choices."

Lily smiled warmly against the phone speaker, "thank you, Samantha."

Peter's intern was right, in all points. No matter what Lily chose to do, Peter should always offer his advice but never critique Lily for what she was doing. In all the years Lily had known Peter, she'd leaned on his choices. After all, he'd been there for her when she was only a little girl with big city dreams. Peter had helped make her dreams a reality, but she often didn't give herself enough credit for what she'd accomplished.

Peter only was around to make Lily's life easier, which was something he truly did do by handling all the business associated with her label and music. He handled her publicity and made sure the press didn't ruin her life. He made her appointments and scheduled her vacations. He was there for Christmas dinner at Granda's and he came to every release party.

Even with all those things, Peter didn't write her songs. Peter didn't sing every other night on stage for five years. Peter wasn't the one who sold over 450,000 digital copies of Kaleidoscope in one day. Peter hadn't helped her win her Grammys or People's Choice Awards. He hadn't been the one who planned her tour set visuals, nor was he the mastermind behind the free meet and greets after her shows.

"I'll go get Peter," Samantha said, waking Lily up from her reverie.

"You know what," Lily said, a sort of strength settling into her bones, "never mind, I'll just email him if he's in a meeting."

"You sure?" Samantha asked, "his meeting just started."

"It's fine," Lily told the intern kindly, "just let him know to check his e-mail. Thanks for talking Samantha."

"Of course, Lily," Samantha said, "and good luck tonight, I can't wait to hear all about it."

When Lily hung up the phone, James was standing in the kitchen. He propped himself against the door casually, his black hair falling into his face as he looked her up and down. He was wearing his running clothes, clearly about to go workout. Lily put the phone on the counter and brushed her red hair behind her ear.

"Peter's in a meeting." Lily said, "that was Samantha."

"Why'd you call Peter?" James tilted his head at her.

"I felt like I had too," she said honestly, "I've never made a choice on my own, not in years, so I thought I had to get permission to go sing a few songs at a local pub—but then I remembered I don't."

"Don't what?"

"Have to ask for anyone's bloody permission to make myself happy."

Lily watched James' smile envelop his face, like he couldn't be prouder of her.

"No," he agreed, "you don't."

"Thank you for always supporting me." She told him.

"I'm your biggest fan, Red."

She didn't doubt that for a second, not with the way he was staring at her.

Suddenly, they weren't alone when Mundungus Fletcher pushed past James with a grunt. Fletcher was carrying a glass of water and had several red tabs in his hand. He looked hungover and messy as he knocked back the pills with a large gulp of water. Lily shared a aghast look with James. Fletcher glanced at Lily when he was done taking his pills.

"Potter said I'm with you today?"

"Yes," Lily said, sitting up in her chair, "is that a problem?"

"I like nights," he said, "best remember that Princess."

Lily was taken aback at his brashness and rudeness. She didn't quite know what to say. James looked at Fletcher like he wanted nothing more than take Fletcher to the other room and beat him up for being so discourteous to Lily.

"It's Miss Evans, to you." James shot at Fletcher, "she's your boss, so treat her with respect."

Fletcher turned to eye James with every bit of distaste, "aren't you supposed to be someplace else, Potter?"

James' eyes grew dark as she was shot with the reminder that his shift was over, and he was no longer supposed to be around Lily. James shot Lily a pained expression before running out the back door and taking down the trail that led into the woods. Lily sighed exasperatedly as she was left with the bodyguard who smelled like weed and booze simultaneously. All at once, her heart ached for James and he'd only been gone a few seconds.

"I have business to take care of today," Lily told Fletcher, "we leave at noon."

Fletcher grumbled again, as if he wished Lily would say anything but that. She watched as he helped himself to a plate of hard-boiled eggs that James had made. He walked out of the room without another word to her. Lily rolled her eyes before she sat down at the small kitchen table with her phone and opened the tumblr app.

The first sight she was greeted with was a beautiful edit made by one of her Brazilian fans named Fabi. Lily liked it and thirty seconds later she started seeing the posts of her followers recognizing that she was online. She ignored her DMs, always too afraid to open them and find something she didn't want to see. Lily's thumb scrolled down her dash a bit, laughing when she saw some posts of #jily. One of the posts was one of the pictures of Lily and James in Burbank and Lily's thumb hovered over it, resisting the urge to like it.

They were standing in front of Lily's favorite coffee shop downtown. James was wearing a dark blue shirt and his black hair was blowing in the wind as he looked down at Lily. James was double fisting two latte's, smiling down at her as she ruffled through her purse for something. The artist had made the edit with lyrics from one of Lily's songs: when the sun came up you were looking at me.

It threw Lily back to waking up with James at her side that morning, sun filtering through the windows and casting him in a golden light. She wished she could like it without her fan speculating if they were together, but she couldn't risk it. Lily scrolled past; heartache close by. She got her mind off James when she saw one of her fans had broken down her top five best lyrics in the last five years. Lily liked that before going to the search option and searching for Carmen's blog.

Carmen's tumblr was a Holy Ground shrine with photos, videos and posts. Carmen's most recent post laden with a magic Lily only knew too well. Carmen had taken the words on her arm and turned them into a gifset featuring Lily's pictures with James. It was a beautiful homage to what she'd seen without actually telling anyone what she knew. Lily bit back her smile as she clicked 'follow' at the top of Carmen's page.

Lily went back to the dash and started to see what her fans were up to since she'd last checked.

SwiftieOverFifty: Lily! What's your favorite song right now?

LilyEvans: Take Me Back to London by Ed Sheeran

LilyEvans LIKED LillyEvAnss: Hi Lily! I wrote you a little something under the cut if you could read it!

Isidar-mithrim: Ice Cream or Cake, Lily?

LilyEvans: Ice Cream Cake!

Escapingthisworldwithfiction: Lily what's your favorite book right now?

LilyEvans: I've been reading ElleNevas new series!

StateofMischief: I've been feeling so alone lately and left out of everything

and so terrified of school starting and being even more alone next week and knowing Lily is there is really comforting.

LilyEvans: I hate that you're feeling that way and it's so hard not to dwell on our fears and doubts, because we want spoilers for

how it's going to turn out, but in reality, we just have to go through life not knowing what's next.

Just when you think it's going to get worse; it could get better instead. It WILL.

LilyEvans LIKED amilahchoux: Lily we miss you, please come back full time

LilyEvans LIKED nobothersgiventoday: every time I see Steven Roosevelt I'm reminded why I'm voting democrat in the next election.

LilyEvans LIKED fabcrosa: I can't wait to see what Lily wears to Petunia's wedding! I bet she'd going to be beautiful!

Lily stopped liking when she got to a post from jilyisendgame: jily might not be real but it's real in my mind. The post made Lily laugh out loud, throwing her head back against the chair.

"What are you laughing at?"

James had just walked through the door. Lily looked up from her phone screen, green eyes sparkling at James. He walked over to her; expression tentative.

"Hashtag Jily." She smirked impishly, "my fans are back at it again."

His smile broke through his features, "let me see."

Lily flashed her phone screen at him, watching him read the post. His laughter was warm and inviting. When his eyes met hers, Lily bit her lip and tried to keep herself from kissing him. Her phone fell into her lap as James' eyes traced across her face. He was sweaty from his run but that didn't make him any less appealing under the kitchen lights. His shiny forehead was an inclination to how hard he'd gone, likely a result of his anger with Fletcher. His curls were extra messy, insinuating he'd run his fingers through them more than once while running.

She kept her voice low, in case the walls were listening, "I love you."

James sucked in a breath before replying, "I love you too, Red."

Lily and James parted ways so James could go shower in his 'room' next to Fletcher's. Lily and Juniper made their way up the stairs to the third-floor master. Lily's guitar and songbooks rested on the floor where she'd left them that night. Lily picked her guitar up and turned it before zipping it into a travel case with extra guitar picks left over from her world tour. Lily tucked away the new song, Burning Red, into her dresser. She was saving it for another day when she could get Sirius into the studio with her back in Los Angeles.

By the time she left for the small BBQ place on the old town roads, she was growing excited to sing. Her fingers maimed the chords to many of her favorites as she drove herself back to the restaurant. Fletcher was in the passenger seat beside her, quiet. Lily preferred him quiet.

The car drove up the old country roads, taking Lily back along a route she'd once driven with her family when she was younger. Lily missed her family, her mother most of all. It was in times when she was alone that she really reflected how far she'd come without Rose Evans at her side. Still, having her mother at her side the last three years would've made everything much easier to process. Rose had always known what to say to Lily when she was anxious.

Lily took the turn into the old gas station turned BBQ restaurant, finding that it was lunchtime. Almost all twenty or so tables were filled with locals laughing and talking over plates of quality barbeque. Fletcher looked rightly concerned when Lily parked her black car alongside a rickety old pick up colored blue.

"Aren't you supposed to be laying low?" Fletcher asked Lily as she leaned to rab her guitar bag from the backseat.

"Yes." Lily said truthfully before opening her door.

"This doesn't—"

Lily shut the door on Fletcher's comment, not caring what he thought. She turned in her back pumps, taking in the sweet smell of barbeque sauce. No music was playing, instead the air was filled with the sound of crackling fire and laughing people. Lily took one more deep breath before starting the walk up to the fire pit. The fire was smoking three pigs, a rack of ribs and another item Lily couldn't make out. Two servers were walking around and one of them had familiar black hair.

Carmen was wearing her pretty black hair down, the curls bouncing off her shoulders as she laughed at something one of her guests said. Lily kept her sights peeled, even after someone at a table gasped at the sight of her. Lily heard her name start being said as she passed by tables, but she tried not to flinch as she kept walking towards the table Carmen was talking at. Once Lily was directly behind Carmen, she put on her best smile.

"Hello Carmen."

Carmen froze, then turned gently. Carmen's lower lips was wobbly as Lily reached out with one arm out for a hug. Carmen dropped her waitress pad and fell into Lily's hug. Lily embraced the girl firmly. Carmen full on sobbed as he hugged Lily back, squeezing her tightly. Lily laughed, brushing at Carmen's hair tenderly.

"You came back!" Carmen pulled away from Lily to show off her now tear rimmed eyes.

"I promised I would." Lily said, "I'd like a chair and your special, one for me and one for my bodyguard."

Carmen looked to where Lily was motioning, animatedly, only for her face to falter momentarily when she saw it wasn't James protecting Lily. Lily honestly felt the same way as Carmen and wished she could tell her fan so. Carmen shook her displeasure away quickly when she met Lily's eyes again.

"You aren't wearing a wig." Carmen eyed Lily's red hair hungrily, "you're you!"

Lily laughed, hitching her guitar up higher on her shoulder, "I'm me, and I'd love to sing you a song before I eat."

Carmen gasped, "you, you want to sing for me?!"

Lily shrugged, "we're friends, aren't we?"

If Carmen was a light, she would've shone so bright that people in California would've seen her. Lily hugged Carmen with one arm before gesturing around the restaurant. The cool winter air nipped through her sweater as she looked around at all the people watching them.

"Where can I sit?"

Carmen wiped her eyes and pointed to a table by the fire, "over here…"

Carmen led Lily to the closest chair and Lily took a seat. People were whispering back and forth. Phones were out and facing Lily as she started unzipping her guitar case. Carmen was bouncing back and forth on her heels as she watched Lily with apt attention. Lily smiled warmly at Carmen as she pulled out her sparkly guitar, the jewels bouncing light fragments everywhere.

"Hi everyone!" Lily waved to the locals around the fire pit, and a family of hikers eating sandwiches on an outdoor sofa, "I'm Lily!"

One of the kids in the family of hikers dropped his sandwich back onto his plate, jaw dropped open. Lily looked to Carmen, who had her hands clasped to her chest. Carmen wore a chunky black sweatshirt endorsed with the restaurant logo, but Lily could still see her shaking from excitement.

Lily asked, "can I play a new song here?"

Carmen nodded, teary eyed, "please?"

Everyone was scrambling to get a better look, and no one was eating. Silence had settled in the BBQ pit as people got ready for a private concert from one of the biggest pop stars in history. Lily sat pulled her guitar strap over her shoulder. Lily didn't feel remotely nervous as she tested the chords out. Two adults dressed in food covered clothes appeared from the door of the old gas station, eyes popping out of their heads.

Carmen called to them while waving, "Papa! Lily Evans!"

"Lily Evans?" The woman put her hands in her own curly black hair, eyes wide.

Lily waved at the woman before she continued strumming if her guitar. Lily looked up into the eyes of strangers and felt nothing but intrigue and disbelief. It was a nice change from the Hollywood stages and sold out arenas.

"I've been writing songs for a while now," Lily said loudly as she tossed her red hair back, "mostly for myself but also for those of you who might feel misunderstood or alone in the world. I have a new song I'd like to play for my friend Carmen, if that's okay with all of you?"

The little crowd cheered, and the cameras focused on Lily. Lily took a deep breath and transitioned into the song.

"And I'm doing my best to keep you close. I've been falling for quite a while and you've spent some time in denial but that's all changed since you smiled. Baby, you make the pain of living worthwhile…"

She fell into her normal pattern, fingers stretching across chords. By the time James' new song was done, everyone was clapping. Carmen was in her parent's arms, eyes still watery. People were calling for another song and for the first time in a long time, Lily loved performing again.

"Thank you," Lily said as she adjusted her guitar, "I'd like to play more songs for you guys tonight, this one is an oldie, but certainly a good one."

One of the boy's in the family of hiker's called out, "play Long Live!"

Lily laughed at his suggestion and shook his head, "I want to play you songs that I wrote here, in Lake Placid for Kaleidoscope. Back then, I had ideas of love and what love should be like. Lately, I've been the victim of growing up, which apparently happens to all of us at one point or another. It's been going on for quite some time now, without me knowing it until, well, until I woke up this morning blissfully happy. I wasn't happy when I wrote this song, but I was as hopeful for love and the idea of love, just like I am now. Love is beautiful and rare and worth all the heartache it might bring. Each new footstep changes you and grows you. I still remember the spot, the day and the hour I gave a piece of my heart to someone and they gave a piece of theirs back. This is called Holy Ground…"

The people cheered and Carmen broke into another round of tears as the first notes started playing through the open-air restaurant. Lily rocked to the beat and looked out into her audience to see an older couple start dancing in circles by their table. She played through the lyrics, until she got to the ending. The old lyrics used to be 'tonight I'm going to dance for all that we've been through, but I don't want to dance if I'm not dancing with you' but she changed the lyrics as she sang, fitting James into her song.

"Tonight, I'm gonna sing for all that we've been through, but I don't wanna sing If I'm not singing upstate about you. Tonight, I'm gonna sing like you were in this room but I don't wanna sing if I'm not singing upstate about you…because it was good darling, never looking down and right where we stood was holy ground."

The clapping was loud and thundered despite the small crowd. Lily felt her real smile stretch across her face as she rocked forward enthusiastically. She'd forgotten how much she loved preforming for small crowds after years of preforming in sold out stadiums. She had planned on only singing three songs but by the time she was on her sixth song, she finally restrained herself.

"This'll be my last song." She told her new friends and they all protested, "but I promise this is one you'll all know…"

She started the guitar strumming and it took people a moment to recognize her first number one until she started singing the first lines. Change was the song that truly changed her life and now, years later, everything had changed again. Now, she was seeking a normal life instead of a life in the spotlight. Now, she knew was love was and she was in it. Now, she was trying to get her life back despite not knowing what would happen if she finally gave up singing.

Carmen invited Lily to sit near the fire once she was done singing. Carmen's parents gave Lily a platter of a little bit of everything. Lily tried so much food that she actually felt a little sick as she finished up a bit of cornbread while she chatted with Carmen and her family. They were all from Hawaii, originally, but moved to the mainland to get Carmen and her sister a better life. They'd opened the little shop in New York after Carmen's father lost his job at the bank and never looked back.

"There's something about the countryside," Carmen's mother told Lily, "something that makes you warm even on the coldest of New York nights."

Lily looked around the restaurant and had to agree. Despite the cold, people were warm and happy under the strung-up Christmas lights. Outside it had started to snow, and kids were collecting what they could, throwing it up in the air. Lily's eyes watched the snow sparkle and shine against the lights as it drifted to the ground, feeling a stillness settle into her bones as she drank the last of her cider.

Lily started her goodbyes early, knowing that it wouldn't be long until the press came looking for her. A few local reporters and locals themselves had already shown up to try and get photos of her while she chatted with Carmen's family. Lily hugged Carmen, twice, before offering her a check for 100,000 American dollars. Carmen was beside herself and even her parents were crying.

"There's your tip." Lily kissed Carmen's cheek, "I can't wait to see you in the crowd when I tour again."

Fletcher helped Lily into her car. Lily looked back to see people waving, crowding the car even as she pulled out slowly. The snow was stuck in people's hair and stuck to the roads. Lily waved as she carefully made her way back onto the road. Once they were away from the crowds, Lily took a few turns to lose any following cars. They drove an extra forty-five minutes until Lily was certain she wasn't being followed. When no headlights shined behind her, she finally turned the car back onto the correct route.

James was waiting up for them, sitting in one of the sitting room chairs watching a movie. Juniper was sleeping, curled up in his lap. Lily wished she could take a picture of them both, but Fletcher was right behind her, grumbling about the snow. Lily took off her coat and hung it to dry by the door before making her way over to the sitting room. James waved at them both, looking content.

"How was the show?"

"Good food." Fletcher said gruffly, "but the weather is gettin' pretty bad."

James' brow furrowed, "what?"

"It's snowing." Lily told James, making sure he saw her roll her eyes, "it's not bad weather."

"Until we get snowed in here." Fletcher said, walking past to head for his room, "I'm goin' out to grab beer before that happens."

Lily perked up, "you're leaving?"

"You're his problem now." Fletcher pointed at James as he left the room, "see you tomorrow."

They both heard Fletcher's door slam. Lily turned slowly to face James; eyes suggestive. James took a deep breath before shaking his head.

"Later," he promised, "after I know Fletcher's left."

"Fine," she made sure to have an extra swing to her hips as she left James in the room alone.

Lily went upstairs to her bedroom and shut the door before dropping her clothes on the floor. Outside, the storm had picked up and the flakes falling from the sky were large and fluffy. Lily walked into her loo and turned on the hot water to her soaking tub. She poured bubbles into the bath, the scent of lavender filling the air. Lily settled into the tub with her phone, flipping her screen open to tumblr.

Already, photos and videos of her that night were being reblogged. People were analyzing the songs she'd chosen and the clothes she wore. Carmen had written a sweet little note, accompanied by a picture they'd taken together before Lily left. Carmen's post had over 104,000 notes and it had only been a few hours. Lily scrolled until her arm grew tired holding the phone over the water. Only a little while after she'd put down her phone, she heard her door open and close softly.

She leaned her head back against the tub, "James?"

"In the bath?" James' voice called for her.

"Yes," she said, "you can come in."

There was a pause. She knew he was over-analyzing what she was proposing.

"James," she said firmly, "come in here."

James walked into her loo, looking nervous until his eyes settled onto her. Lily lifted one of her hands from the bubbles and reached for him, egging him closer. James' eyes shifted and he walked over, sitting on the edge of her tub. His fingers laced between hers.

"Fletcher's gone to get beer." He said, lifting her hand to his mouth for a kiss, "I told him since he covered day for me today, I'd cover his night shift tonight, so I don't reckon he'll come back until tomorrow afternoon."

"That's good news." Lily hummed.

"Very good news," James dropped her hand, "because I want to ask you something."

"What?"

"You were blissfully happy this morning?" His eyes changed hues as he touched her cheek, "truly?"

"Yes."

"Why'd you change the lyrics to Holy Ground?"

She smiled wider, "You watched the video?"

"It's gone viral, Red." James said, "everyone's seen it by now."

As if on cue, Lily's phone started ringing and caller ID spelled out Peter's name. James dropped Lily's hand so she could pick up her phone and place it on her ear, sitting up enough so no water or bubbles could get on it. James seemed annoyed as he fiddled with his jacket strings. Lily sent him an apologetic look before answering.

"Hello? Peter?"

"Lily," Samantha's voice was excited on the other end, "it's Samantha."

"Hey Samantha," Lily grew confused, "why are you calling from Peter's phone?"

"He left it here, so I decided to call you and tell you myself," she said, "he's still in a meeting so I wasn't able to tell him to check his e-mail."

Lily frowned, "it's been hours!"

"He only came out to eat," Samantha said, "I'm about to go but I left him a note on his desk to check his e-mails."

"Thanks Samantha," Lily said kindly, "sorry if my request made you stay any later than you needed too."

"It's fine," Samantha sounded tired, "I'm always here later."

"Bye Samantha, have a good night."

"Night."

Lily put the phone back down and looked up at James. James saw she seemed puzzled and he leaned forward so that they were face to face. He sent her a matching perplexed stare, tilting his head to insinuate he wanted to know what she was thinking.

"Peter's been in a closed-door meeting all day." She told James, "He never saw my e-mail."

"So?"

"Well he's going to probably see the press releases first, think I'm ready to preform again, and then jump to conclusions." Lily sighed, "I won't have the chance to tell him I still need time because he'll already be booking venues for my next tour."

"He does work fast." James mumbled, sliding until his nose was pressed to hers, "want me to take your mind off it?"

"What did you have in mind?"

He started kissing her instantly, his knuckles white against the edge of the tub. She tugged at the fabric on his shoulder and he took the hint, taking off his shirt. The hot steam melted his curls to his face as they kissed. The frayed curtains on the double doors waved in the wind as James and Lily fell into a slow pattern of kisses and hands. She felt his hand dig into her shoulders, the pressure pressing her deeper into the water.

Soon, they were both dripping. The hot bath water and snogging was turning them both into furnaces. James remained on the edge, one hand gripping the tub ledge as Lily began dragging him down with her, nowhere near done. If she had time alone with James, she wasn't going to waste it with conversation.

Lily started pouring her heart into her kisses. He was having trouble keeping up with her quick twists, he was so focused on not falling into the tub. She slowed down, simply tracing her tongue along his mouth before he kissed back her again. It was heavy, filled with demand.

"In." Lily commanded, tugging on him a little more, "now."

He chuckled against her mouth, "I can't."

Lily grumbled into his kisses. She wanted to be wrapped up in his arms until she wasn't drowning in anything but him. James seemed content to kiss her over the edge of the tub, but she wasn't about to let their time alone go without a least a little more skin on skin contact. Lily pulled her lips from his suddenly, earning an annoyed look from James as she settled away from him.

"In," she repeated.

"It's a waste of time."

"I'll wait."

"Lily—" his eyes were sad, "I can't."

"I'll help!" she moved, the water sloshing the sides, "come on!"

James stared at her and then hurt flashed across his face as he stood up. Lily's heart dropped to her feet when he walked out the loo door. She scrambled out of the tub, not even bothering to empty it. She grabbed the nearest towel to wrap it around her wet skin. Her hair clung to her back as she stumbled from the loo to find James hadn't gone far. He was standing, facing away from her, at the large windows. He was watching the snow fall, the muscles on his back tight and his hands shoved into his pockets.

Lily clutched the white towel to her chest as her bare feet padded along the floor. She settled just behind James, feeling engulfed by her regret. She didn't know what to say to him, not knowing what he was possibly thinking.

"James."

"I can't get into a tub that high," he whispered, "it's harder getting out."

Her heart broke as she realized he'd been trying to tell her that he really couldn't do what she'd asked. She felt like an idiot now. She tried to make it better, not knowing she was about to make it worse.

"I could help you."

He turned, hazel eyes dropping to find her standing there in her towel looking pitiful. She shook in her towel, the cold air seeping from the windowpanes. James shook his head at her, forlorn.

Lily's expression remained hard, "James, let me help you."

"I don't want your help." James barked and she winced, hurt seeping into her bones.

"Fine." The pain was evident in her voice and it was James' turn to wince, "I won't bother again in the future."

She stepped away, tucking her head to hide her tears. The night had certainly taken a turn she certainly hadn't expected. She felt herself stumble to her bed and she climbed in, still holding the white towel to her chest. Her shaking sob gave away her crying. James cursed and walked over to her, one hand touching her shoulder.

He said, "I didn't mean to yell."

Lily turned her chin away from him as she mumbled, "go away."

His hand yanked away, and she immediately regretted telling him to go away. She lifted her gaze hurriedly to tell him not to go, but he hadn't taken any steps back. He was standing over her, staring down at her like she'd broken his heart and vis versa. She just wanted his hands on her, she just wanted to be loved by him.

They both blurted out at the same time, "I'm sorry."

James fell next to her on the bed, his hips hitting hers. Lip chewed on her bottom lips as she traced his expression for any sign of love. One if his hands lifted to brush her cheek and she felt some of the pressure release off her shoulders. She sank further into the mattress as they stared at each other, coming to terms with how they'd both reacted to disappointment.

"I don't even know if—if I could—if we could…" He was vulnerable under her gaze, "When I can't even do something as simple as climb into a bathtub without help."

Lily used her shoulder to wipe at her tears quickly before she placed both her hands on either side of his face, "you are the strongest, most resilient person I know James." She said, "but even Iron Man needs a little help sometimes."

She was rewarded with half a smile, "did you just compare me to an Avenger?"

"Yes?"

James offered a broken smile as he covered her hands with his own, "I guess we have a lot in common."

"Do you?"

"Bionic body parts? Loving a fiery, red-haired women? We're practically the same person."

Lily laughed too, squeezing her eyes shut and feeling the remainder of her tears fall. James used his thumbs to wipe the tears away and she opened her eyes back up to find him positively glowing for her.

"I do want to be with you how you want," he whispered sympathetically, "but I'm scared I'd disappoint you."

Lily knew it was a big deal, him admitting he was scared. James wasn't the type of person to admit his feelings so easily, even to her. She scooted closer to him and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away. Their hands fell to their laps and Lily pressed her forehead to his as their fingers intertwined.

"Let me help you." She begged, "when you are ready, just let me help you."

"I'm not ready just yet," he said, "but when I am, I'll let you know."

Lily felt her heartbeat quicken as his words, filled with marvel. She could prove to him nothing about that night was a dream. Her lips moved from his mouth to just under his ear. James' skin was covered in small goosebumps. She kissed her way slowly down his neck and nibbled on his collar bone before they fell back into the covers. His body moved against hers in a way that promised some kind of love, even if it wasn't exactly what she'd wanted initially.

The towel slipped off, allowing James to alter the route of his kissing between her sloping chest. Her hand was wound up in his hair as she guided him back up to her mouth after only a minute. The kissing was choppy and filled with content sighs that echoed through the room. The room could've been burning down around her and she wouldn't have noticed, she was so caught up in his aching kisses.

He sighed against her mouth, "I've got to be dreaming."

Lily answered by swinging one of her legs around his hip to drag him closer. His jeans were stiff against her hot skin, but she was so desperate for friction that she ignored the feeling and rocked her body into his. She couldn't believe they'd started out as strangers only seven months prior. His kiss was nothing but familiar as they grew acquainted with more intimate actions between them. Lily's toes dragged along the cool metal where his foot should've been as she preened into his touch.

His name repeated over and over in her head as she fell into a comfortable sense of compromise with James. They got high off little motions and quick touches, losing nothing but time. She knew it wasn't enough, but it could be enough for now. She didn't want to make James do anything he didn't feel comfortable doing. When he finally gave himself to her, she wanted it to be without inhibitions.

After they'd slowed down and darkness had settled into the room, they just talked to each other. His fingers were tracing patterns on her bare stomach, his lips were resting by her hairline. Lily leaned on his arms and kissed his neck, humming into the skin lightheartedly.

She said, "I just want to stay this happy, forever."

"You have to go back to work."

"I don't want to go back."

"Reality calls, Red." he tucked her hair behind her ear, "outside of these walls, nothing has changed."

"Everything has changed," she disputed, pressing her hands against his chest pointedly.

"Not to the people we know." He said, "not to the people who control our lives."

Lily knew he was right, after all, both of them had a lot of people telling them how to be and how to act. James could lose his job, his career and Lily. Lily didn't have anything to lose, except him.

"All I know is that this morning since I woke up by your side," she touched his chin, "is that I know something I didn't know before."

"What's that?"

"What real love feels like."

James chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her onto his chest. She breathed in his familiar scent and one of his hands dragged through her hair. The strands pulled against his fingers, tangled from their snogging. James kept brushing his fingers through her red hair until the fibers fell from his fingers like silk.

"And all I've known since eighteen hours ago," James murmured, "is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind."

"You'll be mine and I'll be yours." Lily snuggled deeper into him, "for as long as you'll have me."

His fingers stopped dancing against her skin, "forever?"

She nodded, "forever and always."

Hi! I've missed you all! Thanks for being patient while I was on holiday!

all my love,

Petals