Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
~Lily~ Nah, She Didn't
"What are you doing for holiday?" Marlene asked as she began to stir her potion.
"I'm going to go home. I want to see if I can patch everything up with Tuney," Lily said closing her potion's book. They had everything wrong, she couldn't rely on it.
"No, Marlene you have to add a counterclockwise turn every seventh turn," Lily said shaking her head. She grabbed the stirrer and did it herself.
"But the instructions said-" Marlene protested, her voice faltered as she watched the potion turn to the right shade of light purple. She stared at Lily in awe, "How did you know that?"
"Instinct, I suppose," Lily said not wanting to share the real reason. The real reason sat in the back corner of the classroom, blending in with the shadows. She glanced back for a second to see where him and she caught his unrelenting stare.
"I'm staying with the Potter's for Christmas," Marlene said casually. After Lily only nodded Marlene almost jumped into the air.
"Merlin!" Marlene screamed, hitting Lily.
"Ow! What?" Lily asked, taking her eyes off the potion for a second.
"You didn't make a single comment about James being a big headed, egotistical, conceited, haughty, pretentious wanker!?" Marlene nearly shouted.
"Stop yelling Marls. If you prefer I'll go insult him now," Lily said before adding a sprig of mint to her potion. "And did you look arrogant up in a thesaurus or something?"
"Perhaps I happen to possess a voluminous vocabulary," Marlene said with a smirk, "And don't think that we all haven't noticed."
"Noticed what?" Lily said slightly annoyed.
"You and James getting along again," She said grinning, "Ever since the pair of you fought those nasty Slytherins, you've been uncharacteristically nice to him."
"Yeah, well he fought beside me and jumped in front of that curse. He's changed a lot since last year, but also I suppose I never really saw the good in him that was there before," Lily shrugged.
"Oh you are so in love with him," Marlene smirked.
Lily turned to her, "I am not in love with James, we're friends and that's all it'll ever be."
"Keep telling yourself that," Marlene said in a sing-songy voice.
"I will," she said stubbornly, "Now what about you? Sirius lives with the Potter's now, does he not?"
"All the better," Marlene said raising her eyebrows suggestively.
"You're as bad as Sirius!" Lily exclaimed laughing. She stirred the potion one last time before calling her Professor over.
"Oho! It's gorgeous, Miss Evans. You have the hand of a natural potioneer," Professor Slughorn told her, "And you've done better than usual, Miss McKinnon. Very good, very good indeed." The class had begun to pack up and file out the door.
"Sir? I haven't heard anything about your annual Christmas party," Lily said. Slughorn's face fell.
"Yes, yes of course. Dumbledore didn't think the party would be good for the student's welfare given the- the er- circumstances," Slughorn rambled. Lily shot him a questioning look. "The Headmaster is under the impression that the party may be seen as a target for an attack or something along those lines," Slughorn whispered.
"But it's Hogwarts. There isn't a safer place."
"Yes but I always allow my past students or other important people to visit during the party. And I'm a bit ashamed to say this but some of my old students could be a Death Eater. It is impossible to tell," Slughorn said quietly, regret flickered in his eyes for a moment before his usual bubbly self returned.
"Anywho, I hope you have a great holiday, dear." he said cheerily.
"Thanks sir!" Lily said before hurrying out the door. She didn't want to be the last one back to the Common Room. She grabbed her stuff and rushed out the door, to see a tall messy haired boy awaiting her.
"Oh my God! You scared me," Lily said clutching her chest. He should've known better than to wait behind corners like that, seeing as that was exactly how Mulciber, Avery, and Regulus snuck up on her.
"Sorry, love," James said playfully until he saw the real fear in her eyes, "Hey I didn't mean to scare you." Lily nodded and began walking again, not waiting for him.
"You sure you're alright?" James asked catching up to her.
"Yeah, of course. Just reminded me of... y'know," Lily said trailing off. "Why did you hang back anyways?" James ran a hand sheepishly through his hair as they walked side by side.
"Well, I wanted to make sure nothing- er- that nothing happened to you like the other day," James told her avoided her gaze.
"How many times do I need to tell you? I don't need you to play the hero," Lily said suddenly annoyed. She was looking for a fight, all day she had been frustrated. Frustrated with Marlene's teasing, with Mary for nagging her about helping her study, with Remus because he didn't show up in the library to study, and with James. Everything today just seemed to aggravate her.
"I'm not trying to play the hero!" James said defencively, "What's wrong with a little chivalry?"
"It's sexist, that's what! Besides if you haven't forgot, you're the one who got hit by that awful curse. Not me! I was handling the three of them just fine on my own," Lily spat. She was fed up with everyone walking on eggshells around her. She wasn't even the one who got hurt!
"I know you can handle yourself. You're the top of our class, for Merlin's sake. But in case you've forgot, I am not the one who's being targeted. And if it's in my power to make sure you don't have to experience that again, then I will. Especially if it's something as simple as staying a minute after class!" James shouted back with equal intensity. Lily felt hot tears burning in the corner of her eyes, she viciously blinked to keep them at bay.
"Say something, will you?" James said watching her stand there wordlessly.
"I hate this," Lily said quietly. James' eyebrows furrowed.
"What?"
"I hate you being right. I hate being targeted. I hate being scared and angry all the time. I hate being looked down on and making all my friends looked down on too. I hate how the world I love is so so messed up. And I hate you, James Potter," Lily said tears spilling out of her eyes. She could do nothing to control the hot tears streaking down her cheek and James' gentle fingers brushing them away.
"Nah, you don't," he said quietly, "We're friends now. And friends are there for each other. So I will look out for you and you do the same for me." Lily looked into his big eyes, he seemed to be waiting for her rejection.
"You're right," she said softly watching his lips transform into a smile.
"That's the second time you said that today. I reckon that's a record."
"Oh shut up, Potter," Lily said. James slung an arm around her shoulder and smiled.
"Now I know you're feeling better." James told her. Lily couldn't help but smile as well, he had that effect on people. He knew how to cheer people up and Lily used to be so focused on not letting him when they were younger. She would force her smiles down and yell at him, because she was one of the few who had the courage to. But now... now her feelings were all muddled and confused. She was frustrated by the world, but James was a consistent person she could rely on. And it's hard to go from enemy to friends in a few short months, but Remus was right: she needed people who would always be on her side. And James was loyal to a fault.
"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" James asked as they neared the Common Room.
"Heading home to my family. That's what I usually do," Lily said, "I hear you're letting Marlene stay with you."
"Yeah. With all that she's been through, it's the least I can do. I mean she's hurting more than she lets on, I'm sure you'd know better than most," James said sadly, "We figured that her dad could use some time for himself and I'd hate to leave her all alone at Hogwarts. So my mum offered and I think Marlene was more than happy to. Both of our parents were all real good friends, so Marlene and I have known each other for years. We have attended so many balls and parties together. And we are distant cousins in some respect too. To be honest it's easier not to try and trace your ancestors in pureblood familes, it gets too confusing. It's weird knowing that the girl you're snogging is probably your third cousin once removed or something."
"Interesting, at least I don't have to worry about it," Lily said. "And just so you know, I'm really glad you're letting her stay over your house. She could use the two of you to cheer her up."
"And you too," James said. Lily looked at him confused.
"Huh?"
"Didn't I tell you?" James stopped walking, "You're invited too. And Remus and Peter of course..."
"No you most certainly did not extend the invitation. And while I'm flattered, I simply can't accept," Lily told him.
"Why not?"
"I told you that I need to patch things up with Petunia," Lily huffed. She really didn't have time to go over all of their old conversations.
"Well sure, but will that take the whole break?" James asked poutily.
Lily nodded, "I want to spend as much time with her as I can. We haven't had a good relationship since I was nine years old. So two weeks is nothing compared to seven years."
"Promise me that you'll at least make it to the New Year's party?" James pleaded, "It's a tradition that the Prewetts always hosted, but they gave it up this year because Alice Prewett is getting married to Frank Longbottom soon, they're two Aurors, and my parents volunteered to host it instead. It would mean the world to me if you came." After James begged, Lily finally sighed.
"I'll see if I'm around. I may have to go to a Muggle party instead," Lily told him. She was actually excited to be invited despite her seeming reluctance. She had never been to a ball outside of school before. Hopefully know one would think less of her being Muggleborn.
"Brilliant!" James said, "Here is some Floo Powder for if you can come. Just say Potter Manor." He handed her a small bag of floo powder.
"Thanks James. Now if you'll excuse me, I have packing to do," Lily said before turning on her heels and heading towards the dormitory. She didn't see his eyes full of wonder and disbelief as they watched her retreat to her dormitory.
"C'mon. We better go get our trunks before the train heads back to Hogwarts!" Sirius yelled as they got off the train last.
"I wouldn't mind if you were sent back, Padfoot," James joked.
"Uncalled for," Sirius said mock offended. Lily looked around at Platform 9 3/4. The place never ceased to amaze her. It was the place that first truly connected her to the magical world and made her feel like she truly belonged. She saw the little First Years running to their amazed parents. They seemed like they were bursting with excitement and wonder, ready to tell them all about their newfound magic. She saw Seventh Years, still with wide smiles as Christmas break neared. Then she saw her family. Her tall and slender sister, with her blond hair and long neck. She stood with her arms crossed, but Lily could see a ghost of a smile on her face nontheless. Behind her sister were her parents: Rose and Fredrick Evans. Her mother had her wide grin and her father with a look of wonder to match Lily's. Lily waved to her family and hurried off the platform.
"Is that your family?" James said as he pulled her trunk out.
"Yeah that's them."
"I suppose I'll go say hello," James said grinning.
"What!? No no no, you will not," Lily said grabbing his sleeve.
"Why not? We're friends," James protested.
"Yeah but then they will assume you're my boyfriend, again! Or have you forgot third year?" Lily said exasperated.
"I only introduced myself. I don't see what is so wrong with that," James defended himself, smiling.
"Introduced yourself as my boyfriend. They wouldn't shut up about you all summer," Lily told him.
"Did they now," James said interested, "What did they say?"
"They were under the impression that you'd be good for me," Lily said.
"No doubt," James said making Lily roll her eyes, "Oh here they come." Lily turned around to see her family waiting for them.
"Mum! Dad! Tuney!" Lily said happily. She rushed over to hug them and could feel her sister as stiff as ever. Petunia pulled away slightly disgusted and Lily felt the hurt pouring in.
"Oh Lily, we've missed you," her mother said hugging her. When they broke apart she saw her dad's questioning stare pointed at James behind her. She had forgot James was still here.
"Are you going to introduce us?" Lily's mum pressed. She saw a slight blush on her mother's face, seeing James. Lily had to admit that James was a good looking guy, but that was definitely a gross thing to think about. Even grosser for her mum to think so too.
"Oh yeah-" Lily began when James jumped forward extending his large calloused hands.
"James Potter. I'm a friend of Lily's," James said, his voice dripping with charm. Lily snorted.
"You look familiar, have we met before?" Lily's dad asked cautious. Lily never let her parents meet her boyfriends, granted there had only ever been two. Not that James was her boyfriend or anything.
"Yeah we have actually," James said finding Lily's eyes, suppressing a laugh, "That was back in third year."
"I remember you. The one who introduced himself as Lily's boyfriend," Lily's mum said with realization dawning on her. James grinned sheepishly and said, "Well I might have had a bit of a crush on Lily here."
"Understatement," Lily said under her breath so only James could hear.
"Do a lot of blokes in Hogwarts have a crush on my Lily?" her dad asked inquisitively. Lily froze and with her eyes she begged James to not say anything.
"Of course sir, loads of guys fancy Lily," James said winking. Her dad's eyebrows raised in surprise.
"He's joking Dad," Lily said shooting daggers at James, "James tends to have a wild imagination."
"I can't deny that," James said holding his hands in the air, "but loads of guys do fancy you." The last part he said just to her, so her parents didn't hear.
"So we should probably get going, I suppose," Lily said breaking the silence. She turned to say goodbye to James, who pulled her into a long hug. For a moment she got lost in his scent, a flowery scent, different than what she remembered him to smell like. She buried her face in his warm shoulder, forgetting herself for a second.
"Come to my party," James breathed into her ear.
"Alright," Lily responded breathily. She patted him on the back and released him, she turned to face her family. All of them watched her and James with an odd look on their faces. Lily blushed and began to pull her trunk. She waved to James over her shoulder. He hadn't moved from where they hugged, shock and joy were left on his face. And Lily was sure her face had the same silly grin.
"So Tuney, how did that date of yours go back in September?" Lily asked the next morning.
"Oh quite well actually. He's my boyfriend now."
"Oh? What's his name?"
"His name is Vernon Dursley," Petunia said stiffly, but Lily watched Petunia hold her head slightly higher after revealing that she is in a relationship.
"Where did you meet Vernon?"
"Last summer at my internship. He is very high up there. Very important," Petunia said.
"That's nice. When do I get to meet him," Lily asked.
"I believe that him and Marge are coming over for Christmas dinner," Petunia said.
"Who's Marge?"
"Vernon's sister. Nasty woman though," Petunia said with bitter chuckle, "She's always setting her dogs onto me."
"I'm sure she'll come around," Lily said comforting her sister.
"You might be."
"Where does he work again?" Lily asked politely. Their entire conversation seemed unnatural and oddly formal, which was more pleasant than a shouting match, but at least those were natural. This just felt like they were both trying too hard.
"Grunnings Drill Factory."
"And do you still work there too?"
"No, I decided that there were more suitable career choices for a woman of my status," Petunia said, raising her head a bit higher. Lily took this to mean that Petunia had been fired.
"So we never really got to talk much before I went back to school, so I just wanted to make sure things were alright between us," Lily rambled. She saw her sister's expression soften then harden again.
"Look, you're my sister and we'll always be sisters, but we are part of two different worlds. And our worlds do not belong together, they just don't. And I'm sorry if the w-wizards don't accept you but you aren't one of us anymore either," Petunia said, trying to soften the blow.
"That's a horrible thing to say. I thought you understood what I'm going through," Lily said. She thought they were past this. Somehow this hurt more than their usual arguments, because this time she had hope.
"Lily, it's just my life is here and yours isn't. My life is with Vernon and I love him. Eventually I'll have to tell him about your situation and he won't want me to associate myself with... with people like you," Petunia said in a choked voice.
"Just say it, just say I'm a freak! You've never hesitated before! Say you wish you never knew me! Tell me and I'll leave. If you really hate me I'll go!" Lily shouted fed up. She couldn't handle her sister. She couldn't handle how she was trying to soften the blow.
"I don't hate you. It's just we... we are beyond repair," Petunia said sounding ashamed.
"That's because of you, not me! I've put up with all the horrible things you've said, brushed them off. But this hurts more than any of that did. Before the year started you gave me hope that I might get my sister back, that I might have a stable family. But no, and don't try to blame this on your new little high class boyfriend. You believe the same thing: I'm a freak. This is just an excuse for you," Lily yelled. After a moment Petunia was crying and Lily was fuming. When Petunia didn't respond or deny it she calmly continued, "I'll go. You've made it clear I'm unwanted here." She turned around and Petunia looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't. And Lily didn't turn back again.
Lily ran up the stairs, her tears spilling hot and passionately. She repacked her trunk and books, throwing everything in without her usual precision. She ran to her parents room and burst in. They looked up to her in surprise.
"What's wrong dear?" her dad asked.
"I'm leaving," Lily said between breaths, "I'm going. I can't stay here anymore. I can't take her."
"You're just going to leave your family?" her dad asked hurt.
"I love you guys, but I can't be around her anymore. It hurts too much, I thought we were going to be alright, but she's made it very clear," Lily said hugging her parents. They looked at each other, then to Lily and her dad spoke, "Where will you go?" The first person that popped into her head was Marlene, and Marlene was at the Potter's.
"I'm going to the Potter's," Lily said spontaneously.
"With the boy we met?" her dad said defencively.
"They are letting Marlene stay there, because her mum died. I need to be with her," Lily said. She didn't care that her father might think James and Lily were up to something, because they weren't. And that wasn't the point.
"Oh Lily," her mum said bringing her into a tight hug, "I'm sorry you feel like you can't stay here anymore." Lily nodded bringing on a fresh wave of tears.
"I'm sorry Mum, I just have to go," she said.
"We get it honey. Just write to us, we will always be here for you," her mother promised.
"Goodbye," Lily said with her voice cracking. Lily went into her fireplace and threw the powder into it.
"Potter Manor," She said loudly and clearly. She didn't want to mess it up. The ashy substance floated in the air, entering her lungs as she went into the fire.
She envisioned James' house to be well a house, but she was astonished with a mansion. It was absurdly long, and judging by the windows, at least three floors. Breath-taking gardens and architecture filled the giant property. There were arch ways, timber beams, flagstones, statues of magical creatures. She forgot about her problems for a moment and took in everything. There was a large swimming pool, a pristine looking Quidditch Pitch, fountains, a small lake, and so many things that Lily couldn't have dreamt of. For a moment she considered leaving, she could never fit in here and she didn't want to intrude on the Potter's home. But here she was, already inside of James Potter's mansion.
"Hello," said the older woman who came into the living room, "How can I help you, dear?"
"I- I'm a friend of James'" Lily said trying to pull herself together. The woman waved her to come follow her. She had black hair streaked with gray, pulled back into a tight bun. The woman reminded Lily of Professor McGonagoll, only with a more relaxed demeanor.
"You wouldn't happen to be Lily, would you?" the woman asked with a knowing look. Lily nodded.
"Oh I've heard so much about you. I'm glad someone can keep James in check," the black-haired woman said with a laugh. She led Lily towards the front entrance, where two large stair cases were on opposite sides of the hall. There were banners and portraits filling the walls. The ceilings were incredibly high and a balcony was on the second floor overlooking where they stood.
"I try my best," Lily said with a sad smile.
"I'm James' mum by the way. I'll go get him to bring your trunk to an empty room," Mrs. Potter said.
"Thank you Mrs. Potter, but I just wanted to see him, Sirius, and Marlene. I can find somewhere else to stay," Lily stammered.
"Nonsense, you can stay here. We have plenty of rooms up there just collecting dust. And you can call me Euphemia," James's mother said with another warm smile. Then she yelled upstairs, "JAMES, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE!"
"COMING!" James yelled back. Lily heard loud footsteps and James rushed downstairs. She saw his messy black hair and chiseled face and her breath caught. She didn't realize how much she had missed seeing him every day.
"Lily?" James said confused, "What's wrong?" He voice caught when he saw her tears and puffy eyes.
"I- my sister," Lily choked out, "I told you I was trying to get her to understand me, but she hates me and I can't stay with her any longer. I told you what she thinks of wizards, and nothing has changed. Nothing except a walrus shaped man named Vernon Dursley." James chuckled when she said that and pulled her into a long hug. Lily would've stayed there forever, feeling warm and safe, but Marlene and Sirius came bustling down the stairs.
"Oi, it's Red," Sirius said to Marlene.
"Lily!" Marlene said excited. James and Lily broke apart and Lily gave her best friend a weak smile. "What happened?"
"Tuney, well she hates me. Well she has since I became a witch, and I was always able to brush it off. But it hurts too much now, because she gave me hope that we'd be ok. Then when I came home she squashed it," Lily said.
"Oh Lils," Marlene came over and hugged her, she smelled suspiciously like Sirius. Lily turned to James, "I'm sorry for barging in here. If you guys want I'll go. I could probably stay at the Leaky Cauldron or something," Lily said apologetically.
"Don't be silly. You'll stay here, right James?" Marlene said as if she lived there.
"'Course," James told her, "Anything you need." Lily was overwhelmed by their hospitality. The Potters just took in James' friends without question. First Sirius who escaped his parents, then Marlene whose mother died, and now Lily.
"C'mon, we'll show you your room," Marlene said happily. She grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her up the stairs. That left James and Sirius to bring her things upstairs, without magic.
"This place is huge!" Lily whispered in amazement. Large magical portraits filled the hallway. One depicted James flying on his broom and scoring the Quaffle. There were large chandiliers and and other expensive looking fixtures.
"Yeah, a lot of ancient bloodlines have manors like this. James is richer than he lets on at school," Marlene said.
"Who knew James could be so modest," Lily said with a giggle.
"He's a good guy, Lils," Marlene said seriously. Lily was used to this conversation and she usually answered the same way, by denying it. But she couldn't do that anymore, he was too good to her for her to say he wasn't a good person.
"Yeah, yeah he is," Lily told her. Marlene gave her a knowing smile.
"Do you like him?" Marlene asked quietly after a few moments. It was out of character for Marlene to be so gentle about it. They had had the same conversation a few days earlier where Marlene had been quite pushy. But this approach made Lily much more comfortable.
"No, I don't think so at least. I mean we were enemies for so long and everything is changing so fast. I'm just confused," Lily sighed. Marlene's smile hadn't faded and she began to speak again.
"It doesn't help that he's so good looking, does it?"
"I guess, but I don't think I like him. It's just a sudden change in feelings. I think it's just messing with my head," Lily explained.
"You'll figure it out in due time. James would wait on you forever, y'know," Marlene said.
"Yeah, I know." She hated it. She felt like she didn't deserve him.
"This one is your room. Mine is the next one over,"
"D'you wanna talk about your sister, or not yet?" Marlene asked. Lily didn't think she deserved a best friend as good as Marlene. She was being so good to her.
"I think I just want to forget that that is going on right now. Just tell me about your life. How has the Potter's been?" Lily asked. She needed a distraction and Marlene was more than willing to talk.
"It's been wonderful. The Potter's are wonderful. We've been out playing Quidditch and playing Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess. Everything's just been loads of fun. And it was definitely something I needed. My dad- well he needed some time for himself. So did I. I can't look at him without thinking of my mum. And I don't think he can look at me either without thinking of her. He always told me that I looked so much like my mum," Marlene said with a small smile and tears in the corners of her eyes.
"You do look just like her, y'know. And I'm glad you've been so happy here," Lily said, hugging her friend.
"It helps having Sirius here too. He's a good distraction from everything. He just makes me happy when I see him, y'know," Marlene said, wiping the tears away.
"Are you guys going to date?" Lily wondered. "Like officially."
"I don't really think that's his style."
"But would it be something you're interested in?"
"I- well I dunno. I've never really dated anyone like that before. And from my knowledge, neither has he." Marlene twirled her hair with her fingers, distracting herself.
"I think you'd both be good together. And there is a first time for everything," Lily told her.
"Yeah maybe," Marlene replied. The two girls sat side by side for awhile, lost in their thoughts. Lily was still in awe of the turn of events and so miserable about her sister.
~James~ A Taste of Romance
James Potter was nervous and excited, but mostly nervous. Lily sodding Evans was staying in his house! This was the first place she thought to come when she needed a place to go. He knew that it probably had more to do with Marlene than him, but still! She came to his house. He wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted her to feel loved, especially now when she was feeling down. He wished his house wasn't so over the top, but Lily didn't seem to mind. In fact she seemed rather fascinated with Potter Manor's history and architecture, and for that he was grateful. She got along amazingly with his parents. They adored her. And tonight was the New Year's Ball and it was a chance, despite how slim, that he and Lily may kiss. James attempted to tie his tie, but just couldn't get it right. His hair was all rumpled and messy and his dress robes had a stain from when Sirius spilt firewhiskey. He wasn't ready and he was nervous.
"Oi, mate you're a mess!" Sirius said as he barged into James' room. Sirius was all ready with his wavy black hair pulled back and dressed in silky grey dress robes to match his eyes.
"I know, I know," James looked back into the mirror trying to pat his hair down once more.
"Ironic isn't it?" Sirius said thoughtfully.
"What?"
"Your dad made Sleakeazy's Hair Potion, but it doesn't work on his own son's hair," Sirius said with a chuckle.
"Hilarius," James grumbled.
"Never said it was funny, just ironic. What's got you pissed off?" Sirius asked, taking offence.
"Sorry, Padfoot. I'm just nervous," James sighed. He gave up on his hair, there was no use. Sirius was right, his father's famous hair potion didn't work on him. It just made his hair greasier and look worse than before.
"Why? We're the fittest blokes of Hogwarts. And to top that you're the host, you get first pick," Siruis said grinning.
"I don't know..." James trailed off.
"Lily?" Sirius asked, his smile falling. James nodded, "Look, Prongs. It's about time you got over her. When was the last time you had a good snogging?" James thought that Sirius was being rhetorical, but then he realized Sirius was actually expecting an answer.
"Just before school started. That muggle girl, Julia," James said quietly. He knew Sirius would make a big deal about it. So what, he didn't get with a new girl every week, he was just waiting on the impossible girl. The girl who would never want him back.
"Before school! Merlin's beard, Prongs. You need this more than I thought," Siruis said outraged, then he quieted down. "Wait a minute, you hooked up with Julia?"
"Yeah, a bloody hot girl she is. That was a fun day, exploring a muggle town," James said looking back on the memory fondly.
"But she wouldn't let me even flirt with her," Sirius said confused.
"Well I guess we've solved who is better looking once and for all," James smirked.
"Says the bloke who hasn't touched a girl in 5 monthes," Sirius retorted.
"Shove off, Padfoot. I haven't been trying," James said defencively, "Why don't we make a bet?"
"I'm listening."
"Whoever can land a snog first makes the other buy their sweets from the Trolley Lady on the train," James said, "And it can't be Marlene."
"But me and Marlene-" Sirius protested.
"Aren't official and are in it just for a shag," James finished, "Don't pretend like you don't see other people on the side."
"Yeah but still..." Sirius closed his eyes.
"You meant it when you said you fancied her, didn't you?" James said in a quiet realization. Sirius wasn't one to catch feelings and here he was.
"Yeah."
"Then why aren't you dating? Why are keeping it casual?" James asked confused.
"I don't know how she feels about it. We talked about it once and that was post-shagging so it doesn't even count. Then we broke up the next day and she wouldn't speak to me for monthes. So it's a bit complicated," Sirius said dramatically.
"Doesn't sound complicated to me. Padfoot, you can't blame her for not speaking to you. After she heard rumours about you cheating she found out her mother died. She's hurting. She needs more than a shag, she needs you, mate," James told him. "Forget about the bet. Tell her how you feel tonight."
"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" Sirius said, "Our relationship and friendship will be ruined!"
"No it won't. I told Lily I loved her and we are fine," James said cheerfully.
"She was pissed at you for weeks! You're only fine because the two of you saved each other's lives," Sirius corrected.
"It's different for you and Marlene. Lily and I are only friends and before that we were enemies for years. But you and Marlene have a relationship already, just make it official," James insisted.
"Fine, I'll do it."
"Lovely," James said pleased, "Now I need to rid my robes of the firewhiskey you spilt, because you were pissed out of your mind."
"That was a good night," Sirius laughed, "Besides, your a wizard aren't you? Scourgify!" Pink bubbles began scrubbing the dress robes, removing the stain.
"Thanks, now get out so I can change," James scolded.
"Gladly," Sirius said before going out the door. Once he heard it slam shut he began to get into his dress robes. They were plain black with a white bowtie. He wanted to look as presentable as possible and these were his finest robes. He looked into the mirror, trying to console his nerves but it was a fruitless task. Something about Lily made him nervous.
James stepped out into the ballroom for the first time. The room had completely transformed. Everything was grander and more magnificient. And it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, the magic was common during galas and balls, but it still took his breath anyway. He barely had time to recover his breath when Lily stepped out. She wore a dark purple dress, that reflected the magical lights that floated above them. Her face was bare of makeup or at least it seemed to be. Not that it mattered, because either way she looked incredible. He hadn't realized he was staring until Lily found his eyes. Her smile grew from the pure amazement she had when she entered the room too. She walked over to him with a slight blush on her cheeks. Somehow it made her even prettier. James snapped out of it and walked over to her too. He smiled softly at her and simply said, "Hey."
"Hey," Lily responded, her voice almost a whisper.
"You look really pretty, y'know." Not pretty. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Enchanting. Perfect.
"Thanks. And you look handsome," she replied with a beaming smile. His heart practically melted at her words. She was everything.
"What do you think?" James asked, motioning to the party behind him.
"I've never seen anything like it. It's breath taking," Lily said with wide sparkling eyes. James smiled at her word choice, the exact same that he was thinking.
"Much more dignified than muggle parties," Lily giggled.
"What are they like?" James asked. He never thought about how muggles have equivalents in their world.
"Muggle parties?" Lily asked. James nodded. "Oh well they involve a lot of alcohol, too many people, and loud music. The alcohol is much stronger than the normal wizard stuff. And the music has a lot of profanity. And usually the police have to come and shut it down. Scary stuff if I'm being honest."
"Do you go to these parties a lot?"
"No, not really. They aren't exactly my scene," Lily explained, "They aren't fun unless you are drunk, but I don't trust drunk boys very much."
"I guess there's no drinking for me then," James said half joking. He honestly wouldn't drink if it made her uncomfortable.
"Oh don't get the wrong idea, James. I meant muggle boys. On wizards I can just hex the living daylights out of them," Lily said laughing. James chuckled as well.
"Good because I like my firewhiskey," James said pulling her by the hand.
"What are you doing?" Lily said smiling.
"We're getting drinks. Too bad they aren't as strong as Muggle's," James kidded.
"Shove off. I'll have to take you to one sometime. Otherwise you'll never shut up," Lily said.
"Kissing is also an effective method of shutting me up," James flirted.
"Is it?" Lily said perusing the drink options with her thin fingers. His stomach flipped and his heart sped up. He hoped she didn't know how nervous she made him, how fast and loud his heart pounded against his chest.
"Yeah," James said watching her carefully as she didn't shut him down. She bit her bottom lip, refusing to meet his eyes. They were centimetres away and he could see her flushed face. She finally looked up at him, making eye contact, and leaning in ever slightly. His heart pounded in his chest and he was holding his breath.
"Well I'll have to let Melissa Bones know," Lily said very close to his face. She spoke in a breathy voice that made his heart skip a beat. He saw her smirk grow and realized what she said.
"You did that on purpose!" James protested.
"Not sure what you mean," Lily said innocently.
"You did that lip biting thing- and er- you got real close- argh! Evans get back here!" James explained as she turned away. Before she walked away her eyes caught his and she winked at him. Last year James would have never dreamt that Lily freaking Evans would be winking at him. Even if she was just joking it was incredible. James walked to the nearest chair and slumped against it.
"Alright Prongs?" Peter asked sitting next to him.
"Yeah, brilliant actually," James said still in awe.
"Lily?" Peter asked. He seemed calmer than usual. James nodded. "The two of you's are meant to be together, y'know."
"How d'you figure?" James asked interested.
"Gut feeling," Peter said thoughtfully, "You know, Professor Patterson predicted it in Divination back in third year."
"You don't actually believe that, that divination rubbish I mean?" James questioned.
"Yeah, I do," Peter said sitting up straight. James was proud of him, he was standing on his own for once. James and the others always gave Divination a lot of heat, but if Peter thinks it's for real he will respect it.
"Don't you 'member what he said the first day?" Peter said convinced and confident. A new sound for him, "He said
'Eyes of emerald and fire;
A difficult love will transpire;
Brave of heart;
Born in the wake of death;
Souls never will part;
Together until the final breath;
A single goal unite them forever;
Protect the fawn's endeavor."
James remembered that day vividly. At the time he hadn't thought much of it. It was simply more rubbish that he spewed each class. Peter looked at him with wide eyes waiting for him to see what he saw.
"Don't you see?" Peter said increduously, "'Eye's of emerald and fire'. Lily's got green eyes and yours are kinda fiery I guess. 'Brave of heart' both of you's are Gryffindor. And naturally your love'll be difficult seein' as she's hated you up 'till now. And innit odd that he used the word fawn. As in baby deer as in stag. And two years later we learnt that you're a stag. That's your spirit animal, if you will."
"But that could be anyone, Pete. And I'm sure Patterson was just making things up as he went," James said but he was unconvinced that Peter was wrong. But James had been chasing after Lily since the beginning of fifth year and he wasn't about to get his hopes up now.
"It's obvious though innit! You can't give up on her, Prongs. Protect the fawn," Peter begged. It all seemed like nonsense, but he had a feeling that his friend wouldn't leave him alone.
"Alright, I won't give up on her. I wouldn't even if we didn't talk about it, but right now we are just friends. I'm not messing that up for something Patterson vaguely spewed three years ago," James said warningly.
"Cool," Peter said smiling widely. James had no idea his friend was such a hopeless romantic. He watched his mousy friend disappear into the crowd. James stood up and went to get a drink, he never managed to get one when he was with Lily. James saw Remus there too, also alone.
"Hey Moony," James said reaching for a drink. He decided on Blishen's Firewhiskey. A favourite of his at Hog's Head, Scotland's finest.
"Hey," Remus said rather glumly.
"What's that you're drinking?" James said looking into Remus' cup.
"Chocolate liquier," Remus took a swig, "Pretty good."
"Always thought you were more of an elderflower wine guy?" James teased.
"You're thinking of Peter," Remus joked back before taking another long sip of his liquor. "I need my drinks strong."
"Something wrong, mate?" James asked.
"Nah, just enjoying myself," Remus said bitterly. James followed his eyes which landed on a rather pretty girl. He was pretty sure it was Lily's dormmate, Emmeline Vance. He didn't think Lily and Emmeline were too close, but they were aquaintances for sure.
"Go talk to her," James encouraged. He nudged Remus's arm, who grunted and stayed put.
"I can't and you know this," Remus grumbled. Alcohol certainly wasn't helping Remus' mood.
"C'mon you've got like a week until that," James said.
"Five days, not counting today," Remus snarled, resembling his wolf side very much.
"Just talk to her, as a friend. You don't have to date her if you don't want but don't just stand in the corner all night," James patted Remus on the back.
"That's the issue. I want to date her. I want to find love or at least have the opportnity to try, but I can't. It's too dangerous," Remus pouted, taking another sip of his drink.
"Moony, go over there and talk to her. She keeps looking your way," James said as Emmeline glanced over blushing.
"She's just looking at you, everyone does," Remus grumbled resentfully.
"Tell me how you really feel," James joked, but Remus wasn't laughing. "Go talk to her or I'll go over there."
"Are you seriously threatening to date her?" Remus asked annoyed.
"'Course not. It would simply be Rule 6: Always be a good wing man," James explained, smiling in the dark.
"Fine, I'll go. But don't get any ideas to try and make anything happen with me and her," Remus said.
"I won't, I solemnly swear," James said with a face of stone. And for a moment he saw a smile crack on Remus' face. "Now go."
"I'm going, but you better find Lily. It's almost midnight," Remus said. James looked at his watch and cursed, Remus was right. He needed to find her. His eyes scanned the crowd, searching for for dark purple dress. He spotted Sirius talking to an extremely excited (and probably drunk) Marlene. Then he finally saw Lily. Only she was snuggled in someone else's arms. James couldn't see who it was, but they seemed quite cosy and intimate. They swayed quietly on the dance floor, in a sweet and tender way that James wished it was him sharing the moment with her instead. He felt jealousy course through his veins, a controlled rage that he was used to containing. But he didn't want the anger to go away, he left it bubbling beneath the surface. It was ready to overcome him if something set him off, but James chose to exert it in another fashion. Something he should've done months ago. Honestly he was pathetic. James caught the eye of Melissa Bones, the girl everyone knew was in love with James. He needed someone who was the opposite of Lily, someone who wanted him. She had blond hair and warm brown eyes, she looked absolutely nothing like Lily. Her hair was mid-length and curly, her lips were large and soft looking. James swooped in behind her.
"Ready for the New Year?" James whispered in her ear. She turned around batting her long lashes and smiled at him.
"Almost," the girl replied.
"Yeah? What else do you need?"
"Someone to kiss me," Melissa whispered back. And James leaned in, cupping her face with his calloused hands. He let his anger uncoil, kissing this girl rough. She moaned into his mouth and dug her nails into his back. He dug his tongue into her mouth and explored it. Her breath smelled of alcohol and he was sure his did as well. Finally he broke apart from her lips, he stared into her warm brown eyes. Eyes of a pretty girl, a nice girl, a smart girl, but a girl who wasn't Lily Evans.
"We can continue that in a moment," James breathed into her ear. He felt her shudder from his touch. He ran his hand up and down her spine, watching her squirm. He wasn't even trying and she was melting at his touch.
"I'm counting on it," Melissa replied. He looked up at the sparks in the air that counted the time down. It was the last minute of 1976 and James had his regrets. But he had to let those go in the New year. Nevertheless, as the count down continued he searched for Lily. Their eyes connected for a moment too long and he saw her glare. A glare she reserved for when she was mad at him, but he hadn't done a thing wrong. She dropped her eyes and her anger dissolved, but James' didn't. He was too invested in her.
"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE-" the attendees yelled together. Melissa wormed her hand into his and he didn't pull away. He couldn't let his one sided feelings for Lily disturb him any longer. He didn't care what he told Peter, because James needed to be over Lily. And if Lily at any point wanted him, however unlikely that may be, then James would drop everything for her. He just couldn't help it. She was his weakness and there was no getting over Lily Evans.
"FOUR, THREE-" the crowd roared. James looked for Lily's eyes again, but they were locked on none other than Edgar Bones. Melissa's older brother and Lily's ex-boyfriend. James felt a his stomach drop, this wasn't good.
"TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone screamed. James was in a daze as Melissa tugged on his perfectly made tie and pulled his lips to hers. After a few moments he collected himself and kissed her back. What seemed like minutes later, they broke apart. Melissa was gasping for breath, as was Lily across the room. He watched Lily blush and pull Edgar towards the corridor. James felt his heart drop because that was the corridor that led to her room.
"C'mon Mel, let's get out of here," James pulled Melissa by the hand. James usually enjoyed the fireworks for awhile, but not tonight. Definitely not tonight.
AN: That was a long one. Almost 8,500 words. Thanks for reading it. And to those who favorited/followed/reviewed, thank you so much.