Whispers from the Edge of Darkness – Chapter 15
Indeed, Sabrina's visit gave rise to a whole new world of thought and feeling for Cathy. She had organized a concert including both women and children. They sang from their hearts. Cathy felt that the effort was their way of showing gratefulness for the warmth and safety of the center. There were many guests, including previous clients, helpers and contributors.
Since Sabrina had come to the Brownstone first, Catherine was able to accompany them to the center, eager to honour the work of her daughter-in-law. Holly and Meme's absence was the only tinge of sadness on an otherwise beautiful afternoon. Despite the non-professional touch to the concert, everything went over well. Cathy accepted little praise. It had been a group effort and she was adamant about not taking all the credit.
She was able to live stream a small portion to Jacob. His words of support added the finishing touch to a truly Christmas holiday afternoon. Cathy hoped to spend a little more time at the center, but Sabrina had arranged to meet with Iain at a certain time. With some last words for the entire group, she said her goodbyes. Carl picked up the women and returned them to the house.
'What a great afternoon!' Sabrina remarked during the drive home. She had a lovely smile that didn't quite match her eyes. There was a sadness within their depths that would never go away.
'It really was. This is the first year I have tried to organize this. Turned out better than I thought.'
Catherine squeezed the hand of her self-deprecating daughter-in-law. 'I have seen you organize other events. This does not surprise me at all.'
Catherine's words were a balm to Cathy's heart. She greatly admired her mother-in-law. They got along well. Catherine had always supported every endeavor. When they arrived at the house, Sabrina checked in with her husband. He was going to be delayed. The weather didn't really support a late drive back to Albany. While it wasn't snowy, the low temperatures produced some ice rain. Driving conditions were tricky in some areas.
'You are welcome to stay. We have room. I hope you won't attempt it if the roads are really dangerous.'
'I am sure it won't be that bad. It's still early winter. The ground is too warm to hold ice.'
Sabrina's response drew an odd look from Cathy. 'Let me tell you about my trip from Montreal in the middle of labour, if you don't mind?' Cathy was suddenly mindful of Sabrina's history.
'You don't have to tiptoe around pregnancy and birth for me. I must live in this world where giving birth is something that happens every day with good and bad results. I see you and your daughter. I know you had a good outcome, so tell me the story.'
Cathy sat upstairs with her guest and shared the details of the terrifying trip. 'The good outcome was the result of many people contributing their best, including the Governor who got the helicopter for Jacob to come and get me. It was a scary few hours.'
'Wow! Unbelievable! Where did you say you gave birth?'
'I didn't. It's kind of a sacred place.'
'Is that where my milk has gone? All the babies I saw at your center had their mothers.'
Cathy hesitated. Sabrina was smart and observant. 'I would have to get permission to explain.'
'Can you also get permission for me to visit this place? I would love to see who benefited.'
Cathy sent a quick text to Jacob. She asked him to also contact Iain and see if they could come home together.
'Take her down if she wishes to go. I trust her and Iain. Will let you know if I hear from him.'
Cathy also went to speak with Catherine. 'We have many helpers. She has done a great service for our little ones. Just prepare her. Aislyn can stay with me if you don't want to take her down.'
Cathy agreed. Aislyn had been fed while Sabrina listened to the story and was content to sit with her grandmother and build another fortress with her building blocks.
Once everyone was in the loop, Cathy explained to Sabrina the history of the world below, Jacob Sr and his journey, Vincent and many of the wonderful people who made up the community. 'I was born there and despite Jacob's heritage, he was not. We are always teasing each other. When we first met, he thought I was his half- sister, because he had a vision of both his parents being present at my birth.'
Sabrina was duly impressed by the story but less so about the actual journey. As they started off across the park, she remarked, 'this reminds me of life back in LA. There were many times when I slept under a bridge or in a tunnel 'cuz I didn't have anywhere else. This is different though. I hear…. bells. Is that normal?' she asked quietly when they approached the entrance.
'There is a coded message that comes through the pipes. Just a sec.' Cathy picked up a stone and tapped a few times on a pipe. She waited for a return sound. 'They just need to know it's me and I am bringing a guest.'
Sabrina kept her eyes open. The way down was sometimes slippery and unsafe, but Cathy was surefooted, knowledgeable about the route and easily made her way in the darkened underground. Once they entered the community, many people came forward to welcome Sabrina, among them, Vincent.
'You didn't get to meet when we came up to Albany. Dad was there but he spent his time exploring the fields.
'I can see why that would hold a special kind of pleasure for you?' Sabrina remarked looking around, her face a study in wonderment.
'Why?'
'This is a very different environment. After growing up in a busy city I find the open country spaces almost like living in another world.'
Vincent was pleased that she made no mention of his features and the difficulty of hiding from a curious world. 'I am sorry that we didn't meet that day. I will add my grateful thanks to those of all our community for your generous gift. The babies benefit greatly.'
'Can I see where they are?'
Vincent nodded at Cathy, but it was clear that Sabrina wanted Vincent to be her guide. Something about his demeanor seemed to touch her heart. Taking his arm, she allowed Vincent to escort her down the passage to the nursery. Cathy followed at a distance. She wasn't sure if it would be a good idea, but Sabrina knew herself well. Surely, she would say something if she felt uncomfortable.
Two of the older women in the community and two younger girls plus Celeste were taking care of the eight babies who were under 18 months of age. Sabrina was wide-eyed at the scene that confronted her. She was introduced to everyone and thanked again for her contribution. The children, many born on the streets, had robust cheeks and sparkling eyes that said a lot about the care. Sabrina was invited to pick up one of the younger babies. She held it close to her body and whispered a few words.
'You are so beautiful,' she cooed. 'What's her name?'
'Salome, Miss Sabrina.'
Cathy could see the emotion well up. She said nothing. This was Sabrina's moment to come to terms with her loss. She laid the baby gently back in her cot and looked around at some of the others. She asked a few questions but said nothing further. When she was ready, she smiled at Vincent and sought his hand with a silent look of thanks. They returned to the main area.
Vincent excused himself to attend to the small class of kids who had been left doing the last of their studies for the day. Cathy and Sabrina sat in the living area which was a part of Vincent and Catherine's quarters. Cathy said very little giving Sabrina time to digest what she had seen and felt. The experience of travelling below for the first time, was always one of awe and wonder. Conversely it could be frightening. Cathy waited, hoping that Sabrina felt something of value.
'I have to admit that I am awestruck. I honestly believed that there was nothing more beautiful than the wide outdoors, but there is such a feeling of love and compassion here. My tears are not selfish ones. I am sad that such a place is necessary but having been estranged from my home and family, there were many times when I wished I had a place of comfort and safety…..like this,' she said waving her arms in a way to encompass everything.
Cathy suddenly did not feel or see Sabrina. Instead she saw her own mother, being welcomed into the community, giving birth, leaving the tunnels, returning with the love and assistance of Catherine, living below for four years before making her way above. Why, why, why did she leave only to end up in the arms of Kardin? Lost in her unbidden thoughts, she didn't realize that Vincent had returned with two of the children trailing behind him.
'Is Jacob coming?'
Riley's plaintive entreaty into her ear brought her back to the moment. She turned and smiled into his forlorn looking countenance. She set aside her own thoughts.
'He is. Should be here soon. Riley, this is Sabrina. She came to visit our home.'
Riley turned. The children were always taught good manners. He extended his hand for a shake, seemed to change his mind and threw his arms around Sabrina as if they were old friends. If she was surprised, she never let on. Sabrina returned his hug and offered a kiss on his cheek, which the youngster didn't rebuff.
Sabrina held him away from her body so that she could look into his sad golden olive eyes. 'Did you get all your homework done?' she asked, seeing a notebook in his hand.
'I did today. Jacob said I won't be smart if I don't study.'
'I'm pretty sure I said, you will be smarter if you study.' Riley left Sabrina and threw himself at Jacob.
'I'm not sure Jacob. I don't think I'm smart.'
Jacob knelt down, ignoring everyone in the room and looked directly at Riley. 'Never believe that you can't do something. We all have to learn. Studying now will help you to be a good learner all your life.'
Jacob released Riley who for some strange reason returned to Sabrina. He kissed his wife, smiled with every fiber of his being then stepped aside for Cathy to greet and introduce Iain to everyone. The next hour passed quickly. Iain had the same tour, seeing firsthand the efficiency of the underground community, sharing his own observations and showing no fear or distaste for the way of life. In the nursery, he was drawn to the same baby as Sabrina, holding her gently and whispering some words of kindness.
'She's a beauty.' He observed.
'If she is, it's because of Sabrina's milk. We had another child who received the gift of milk from someone above and she thrived.'
'Is she still here?'
'No, she was adopted out to the same lady who provided the milk.'
'Wow!'
Jacob didn't elaborate further. Sabrina and Iain didn't come below with the idea of adopting a child, had no idea that such a thing was possible, and yet a seed was planted. When the foursome made their way out of the tunnel, they were silent, chilled by the wintry night. The sky was hauntingly clear and stars shone above. There was no moon. It was the time of the new moon, a sigil of new beginnings.
After a delicious supper, Sabrina and Iain elected not to stay. They felt the roads were safe enough to make the trip home. They had a lot to discuss, including the success of Iain's venture. Cathy also had a lot to think about. Her moment of awareness had been unsettling. She had acknowledged that Meme was one gift from her mother but that missing piece of her life continued to haunt. She knew that the issue would continue to raise its head if she did not confront the source. She confided her thoughts to Jacob later that night in bed.
'I think, its time. Your being is now steeped in a sense of reverence for knowing. You have dreamed some answers, you have confronted others head on. Perhaps your mother wants you to know what happened. If it is worse than you thought you can put it behind you and settle your feelings with Kardin or …'
'I can't help but think that is the way, it's going to be. He did nothing out of the kindness of his heart. I will think about it, perhaps dream and see.'
With that, she rested her head against her husband's beating heart grateful for his steadfastness.
…
The Christmas holidays came and went with much celebration. For the Wells family it was a day of sharing with friends. Christmas Eve, Cathy went to visit with her sister and share in the traditional gift exchange, turkey and puddings of all kinds and different recipes of eggnog, some with a bit of a boost. A large Christmas tree was set up in the common room of the condo. Each child was delighted with a gift or two. It was quite a different scenario in the Brownstone on Christmas day.
Gifts had to be handmade. Cooking was the most important function of the day and eating together the crowning glory. Friends dropped in, off and on, from morning 'til night. It was a time for socializing and honoring friendships. For Vincent, Catherine, Jacob and Cathy, the coming Winterfest celebration was the event which had the most meaning to them as a family. In view of that, people like Kurt and Ziggy from the office, Joe and Diana, as old friends passed by to offer their best wishes on the holiday season but even as the family enjoyed the day, preparations for Winterfest had already begun. Howard and Hélène chose to spend Christmas in New Orleans. *The Grande Dame was ailing. If her time had come, they wished to pay their last respects, grateful that she survived to give them the blessing of marriage.
…
When Jacob returned to work the following day, he was also able to put a final touch to the case which had somehow continued his journey into self-awareness. The disgraced pastor from the Church who had been responsible for mind-bending the vulnerable young men and women that attended the services, finally agreed to a accept counsel. In order to avoid putting anyone at risk, Jacob was the one who went to see him. Mindful of a previous time when he had been drugged and left to die, Jacob put up all barriers to protect himself, including an herbal concoction of his own.
The man, in his late forties, was clearly broken by the end of his dream. The cult he hoped to establish as a means of extorting or stealing money, fell through. In the small interview room, the man spoke slowly with a soft voice, but it failed to make an impression on Jacob. In fact, Jacob used his own skills to further diminish the man's capacity to draw people to him. The energy would be turned inward so the he could see his own redemption when the time was right. He left copious notes for the defense team who would follow up, including a clear admonishment to be careful.
New Year's came and went with another round of family visits. Holly had asked for everyone to join her at the condo on New Year's Day. Cathy realized that every visit was fraught with the possibility that she would meet up with Kardin but day by day, she was coming to accept that without the answer to her most pressing question, she could not forgive and forget. Clearly her sister had come to an understanding with her Father. In fact, Holly had done a lot of work assessing her father dispassionately, trying to know him as a man. There was much to be admired as Kardin, opening himself to scrutiny, tried to be as honest as he could be.
'Thwarted dreams can drive hopes and desires in directions over which we have no control,' he conceded. 'I never intended to be mean. I don't think my father understood me at all, but he was of that generation of men filled with the rightness of authoritarian attitudes. I had to bend to his will but still find the backbone to be as ruthless and cunning as he was.'
'Did that exclude having love in your life, Da?'
Kardin thought for a long time before answering. 'No. I would not have had you if I couldn't love but love meant loss and for this I needed to be in control.'
Holly knew her father's story. She could sense how those early losses would harm his psyche. She had never listened to her father speak without her own antenna being alert to every nuance. Over the weeks since the birth of her baby, she had been of 'one mind', not open to visions. As a daughter and new mother, she could sense from her heart the words of her father. She hoped to regain a better stronger relationship which she would develop to help her be a better mother.
Holly continued to discuss her evolving self with Cathy. They were two halves of a whole. A motherless daughter and a fatherless daughter, sisters and friends with a higher purpose but both realized that helping others successfully could only be done when they were able to help themselves. Holly realized that her sister would never be happy until she confronted Kardin and release the burden of her heart. It would be painful, but Holly never mentioned that lost year and Cathy, hurt beyond belief by its anxiety inducing loneliness, preferred to keep the pain of it close to her heart. She knew there would be a 'now' moment but did not seek opportunities to make it happen and while she could have avoided a New Year's Day visit to Holly, it seemed futile to keep running. If Kardin came she would not seek but rather hold still and listen, something she learned from Jacob.
There would be many there to back her up. Indeed, everyone was going including Howard and Hélène, back from their trip south.
…
Kardin did his best to be sociable and engaged. Erin said little. Since her history melded with Brian's life story Kardin observed that they seem to get along. Kardin met Edgar Raeburn before Holly was conceived and knew the kind of man Erin would have had to deal with. In fact, Kardin felt immense sympathy for both of Edgar's sons knowing the kind of man his own father had been. That awful cult of unique black magic twisted minds of ambitious men, leaving a dynasty of sad, emotionally abandoned children. For the first time in a long time Kardin realized that he was also one of the heirs to that ugly Black Majick Circle which mandated a need to control everyone and everything. And yet, within hours of being back in the family fold, he felt a loosening of the ties which bound him to the unholy practices, something years in a monastery could not achieve. Rather than analyze, he just observed his own actions and responses to the activities around him and more often than not, found himself drawn back to his youthful days.
Of all the people coming for the day, Kardin had yet to meet Catherine, the only true mystery. He assumed, incorrectly that Hélène 's husband would be Philippe, under some mutual arrangement, or an unknown Canadian of no importance. He did not wish to press Holly for details about the family. Arousing suspicion, no matter how innocent would only lead to more stress. Rather than be the center of attention with a late arrival, Kardin slept over at the Condo, surprised at what it meant to be a part of a happy family meal and New Year's Eve celebrations. He was awkward with the girls at first, but Cilla who possessed a remarkable intuitive sense, had given her seal of approval and everyone followed. Kardin knew that there was only two people who would capture his attention, Hélène and Cathy. He had been on pins and needles all night wondering if it was really time to face his most challenging demons. None-the-less, he woke with a short round of prayers, soft chanting and a fervent wish not to disturb his daughter in any way.
He stood away from the large living area when the first sound of arrivals was announced. Hélène and Howard stepped out of the elevator accompanied by a tall man with beautiful bronzed skin. Kardin recognized the Governor of the state. Shock kept him wordless for some minutes.
'This is my husband, Howard, Das.'
Kardin forced a smile and extended a hand. 'Pleased to meet you in person Governor. I had no idea that you…. Hélène was ….'
'Please, I am Howard here. Anyway, I won't be Gov for much longer. No formalities. Today is a family day.' Howard turned to the man behind him. 'This is my cousin Ledgister. We have just come back from New Orleans.'
Howard put his arm around Hélène and gave her shoulder a squeeze. He could see that Kardin was non-plussed. Howard gave him a moment to pull himself together. Kardin nodded to Ledgister. What a beautiful man! he thought, before searching his mind for words to fill the gap.
'I have been away for quite a few years, travelling and coming to terms with life. I have been out of touch. However, you were in office when I left. I believe I met your mother some years ago. She was quite a remarkable woman.'
'Thank you, yes she was.'
The two men seemed to have found common ground and went on to talk a little. Ledgister excused himself and went to the kitchen to add his contributions to the day's food. Holly had a great chef for her family. Ledgister was sure the food would likely be good but very bland and wanted to offer a couple of spicy dishes. Hélène sought out her granddaughter and the new baby. Brian soon joined the men to welcome Howard but wasn't really interested in their conversation and quickly moved on. Howard's power and prestige were truly not on display. He was as kind and generous as few men in his position would be. Kardin saw in him a role model for going forward.
He still had much to fear going forward. When the elevator rang for the next guests, Kardin retreated slightly. There was to be a face off yet again and one that was unavoidable. He had already encountered Jacob and Cathy and knew where each of them stood. The one person he had not met was Catherine but before that, Vincent, his peer and his nemesis, who he had not seen since the confrontation in the warehouse, was about to make an entrance that would likely be unforgettable.
Kardin braced himself. He remembered Vincent's stare, his magnificent visage, the power in his walk and yet in their meeting, with two guns pointing at him, and Jacob as a hostage, he held all that power at bay. It was, in the end, not Vincent who touched Kardin deeply but his wife. He was not prepared for the stunning ethereal beauty of Catherine. He bowed over her hand, acknowledging with a few simple words, her long struggle to return, almost literally, from the dead. Her soft voice touched his heart and reminded him of his young sister.
'In this wonderful time of year, when we renew all things. Let's begin again.'
For the first time in over forty years, tears filled Kardin's eyes, grieving for lost years not filled with love but buoyed by tyranny and deceit. It was a moment of reckoning. In the eyes of three women, he was to find his final redemption.
*FictionPress – The Triangulated Heart - Vetivera