What Goes Around

by BreezyAnimetra

Sakura Haruno and Hinata Hyuuga were total opposites who chose each other as best friends when they were children. Through the years they were raised together as close sisters. Sakura the pampered princess whom believes a man will make her complete. Hinata the brainy one, whose just trying to find her place in the world. Then there is Naruto, linked to both women.

15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14-Time skip: 7 years later.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Uchiha, your card has been denied."

"Excuse me?" Sakura cocked her head indignantly. "That's not possible." She'd used her platinum card here just last week. "You must have done something wrong. Try again."

Another swipe of the card and the saleswoman waited. "I'm sorry, but…"

The heat of embarrassment rose in Sakura's cheeks. "You're new, aren't you?" She removed another card from her wallet and thrust it at the clerk. "Here."

"Mommy?" Sarada played an excited tattoo on Sakura's arm. "Mommy, look!" She pointed to a display of glow-in-the-dark stark. "Can we get those for my new room too?"

"Not now, Sarada. Mommy's busy." Sakura dug her elbow into the pile of linens they'd spent two hours selecting. 'I know she made some stupid mistake. Wait til I tell Sasuke.' She twisted her rings impatiently around her freshly manicured finger. 'But he's been in such a foul mood, if I mention it he'll probably try to get her fired.'

Theres been an increase in work for Sasuke's business and he's been working killer hours, coordinating, supervising and calling prospective clients.

Finally the transaction went thru and Sakura signed the receipt

with a flourish, only semi-placated by the clerk, who hurriedly bagged the purchases and apologized profusely for the delay. Sarada, hands on hips, twisted from side to side, restless for the next adventure. At eight she was tall and lanky like her father with his eyes and dark hair.

Friday after-school shopping and dinner out became their mother-daughter ritual when a stroke forced Mebuki to retire and move in with them two years ago. Sakura, still feeling guilty about her father's death, devoted herself to her mother's recuperation. Sasuke took care of selling the The Hidden Leaf Village house and investing the proceeds for his mother-in-law. Sasuke was glad Sakura had something to keep her occupied, and Sarada thought her "Gram" could do no wrong, so they never complained about the new arrangement. But when Christmas rolled around, and for the first time even Sakura had no idea what toys made her daughter's eyes light up, she realized how little attention she'd paid to Sarada. Fortunately, Mebuki approached her rehab with the same stubborn determination that carried her through life. She walked and talked a little slowly and forgot things sometimes, but she recovered to the satisfaction of her doctors. And when Mebuki got up one morning asking about beauty parlors because her blond hair had two-inch gray roots, Sakura knew her mother would be fine. Right then she decided that she and her own daughter needed some special time, just the two of them. Since Sasuke usually worked late on Friday, it became "girls' night."

"On second thought, I'd like this sent."

Sakura decided it was more than she wanted to carry. Besides, she looked forward to the delivery truck rumbling up the long driveway. She liked the surprised look on the driver's face when he realized she was Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha, not the girl in to clean, and signed for her packages.

On a late-spring afternoon, shortly after Sasuke expanded his business, he surprised Sakura by driving her farther upstate Konoha. He turned into an unmarked road and continued uphill along a gravel path through the woods and stopped in front of a huge redbrick house. The wide, pillared front porch was centered by towering double doors, decorated with enormous brass knockers. Huge oaks and spruce trees shaded the rolling front lawn. Sasuke said it belonged to a client who was moving. If she wanted the place, he'd buy it. Sakura loved their Tudor, but this was a dream house, straight out of a magazine, complete with a small, separate suite intended for the maid, which would be perfect for her mother. "Sasuke, can we afford all this? I know you don't want depend on your father…"

"You leave that to me, Pinky. I have been able to handle things without going to the old man so far right!" He smiled then he kissed her breath away, like he used to. Sakura hadn't felt that in a long time.

'Maybe I won't mention the card trouble to Sasuke. It's probably nothing.' Sakura took her daughter's hand and led her out into the Galleria.

"Frozen yogurt?"

Sarada grinned and pulled her mother in the direction of the concession. Sakura played with a small cup of strawberry and sat and watched her daughter enjoy the cone. "Bet, my friends are gonna be jealous of my new room."

"You don't want them to be jealous, do you?"

"Only a little bit." Sarada's eyes sparkled as she licked her cone. "Think daddy will like it too, so he'll play with me more?"

"We'll see about that."

It wasn't that Sasuke didn't love Sarada, but aside from buying her presents he seemed not to know what to do with her. Sakura hoped he'd be more comfortable with Sarada once she was older. As it was he usually got in past Sarada's bedtime, shoveled down his dinner, barely nodding to acknowledge Sakura's attempts to fill him in on her day or Sarada's progress in school or ballet class. He'd be asleep before his head hit the pillow. Sakura wasn't getting much of Sasuke's attention either. They used to get a sitter and go to Broadway shows in NY, then end up at Jugo's for dinner and drinks. These days she knew Sasuke still went, but Sakura couldn't remember the last time they were at Jugo's together. She rarely complained though. She knew she was lucky, even when she was a little lonely.

A couple of times a year they'd still go to Atlantic City for the weekend. Sakura would get "all dressed up" as Sasuke liked to say, and he'd play blackjack and tease her when she cringed at the stacks of chips he bet. Sasuke would call her his lucky charm and make sure all the other players knew she belonged to him. Sakura would squeeze his hand and close her eyes when the dealer turned up the last card, but they had fun and Sasuke never seemed to lose. Then he'd take her shopping for something expensive and the salesgirls would tell how lucky she was to have a husband like Sasuke, who knew how to treat his wife.

Her mother agreed. "Men have to have their own recreation. Every Friday your father went to his lodge meeting. Him and your Uncle Homura, Kami rest his soul. What you think they were meeting about 'til three in the morning? Sasuke's fun is little enough for all he provides. You live better than lots of folks I used to work for."

At first Sasuke didn't see how Sakura could be lonely with Sarada and her mother around. One day he complained to Jugo. Then the un-degreed restaurateur, whose shady past could have blocked his acceptance in "certain circles," showed Sasuke the ropes. The Uchiha joined the most prominent Church in Konoha although Mebuki complained that it was too snooty for her. "Can't even say 'Praise Kami" without folks lookin' at you like you broke wind!" Sasuke only attended on Christmas and Easter.

Jugo showed Sasuke the importance of strategic charitable contributions. After Sasuke bought tables for political fund-raisers and donated his business' services to charity auctions, Sakura was recruited for committees. She balked, claiming she didn't fit in, but Sasuke insisted Sakura start moving in the circles that would help the business grow. Besides, committee work kept her busy, and out of his hair. And when their picture ran in a local newspaper with a caption that read, "Mr. & Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha attend Konoha's College Fund Gala," Sakura knew she had arrived and mailed a copy to Temari. But at the next planning committee meeting, she got the same cool smiles and polite nods when the women clustered in their usual tight knots, bound by laughter and gossip. Most were older, belonged to the alma maters, or friends who did. Sakura had never set foot in college except to visit Hinata. Sasuke's checks couldn't buy their friendship, but she wanted Sarada to belong to this club, so she ignored the slights, kept smiling, and hurried off like she had somewhere important to go.

"Mommy, it's dripping!"

Melting strawberry cream ran down the cone, onto Sarada's hands. Sakura got up to find more napkins. As soon as he closed on the new house, Sasuke told her to hire an interior designer and gave her carte blanche on decorating. Fabric samples, paint chips, furniture showrooms, and antique stores became her job for nearly a year, which was perfect since it was Sarada's first in school all day. Now the last phase, Sarada's room was almost complete. Her pickled oak country French furniture would arrive tomorrow, so everything would be in place for her first slumber party next week. With the house finally complete, Sakura told herself she should feel a sense of accomplishment, but all she felt inside was empty.

"Let's see those fingers." Sakura wiped Sarada's hands and they left. On the way to the parking lot they cut through Neiman's. Sakura stopped at the fragrance counter, chose a bottle of Flora by Gucci, gave the clerk her store card, and waited trying to look nonchalant.

"Thank you. Have a nice day, Mrs. Uchiha."

Good. No problem. Then she spied a pair of sunglasses she had to have. Charge. In the children's department they selected an outfit for Sarada to wear the night of her party, and two new nightgowns because they couldn't decide which they liked best. Charge. Sakura was satisfied, but there was a sale in the shoe department. Two pair of sandals later Sakura and Sarada were finally on their way.

"I have to get gas." Sakura made sure Sarada was buckled in, and she eased her Audi out of the lot. "What would you like for dinner, Miss Uchiha? Mommy has a headache. Would it be okay if we got something and took it home?"

"Hamburgers! Yippee!" Sarada knew fast food was mostly off-limits because her mother hated eating at those places, but she saw the takeout opportunity and seized it.

"Ugh! But okay. Burgers it is."

And since Mebuki had gone away for a weekend music festival with her friends from her church in Hidden Leaf Village, she wouldn't have to hear about "those nasty cat burgers." Sakura pulled up to the pump, told the attendant to fill it, and handed him her gasoline credit card when he was done.

"Sorry, ma'am. This won't go through."

At home, Sarada devoured her fries and cheeseburger. "Aren't you hungry?"

Sakura's food remained untouched on the kitchen table. "No, honey, I guess I'm not. But when you finish, go on up and get ready for bed."

Sarada slipped one of Sakura's fries out of the paper container and munched. "Can we read in your bed tonight?"

"If you promise to go to your own bed when it's time. I can't carry you anymore."

"That's 'cause I'm a big girl!"

Sarada scampered upstairs. Sakura smiled. That you are. She took an Advil since her head was still pounding, then got her wallet. Sasuke always made sure she had the new cards each year, but she checked the expiration dates anyway. He paid all the bills and she had seen him writing checks, so that wasn't it. Sasuke will know what it's all about. She fixed him a plate and left it in the refrigerator, ready for the microwave, in case he was hungry when he got in, then went upstairs without solving the mystery. Sarada was waiting in the king-size four-poster. Propped on a stack of ruffled pillows, she examined her bronzed baby shoes and the picture in the attached frame that sat on Sasuke's night table.

"How old was I in this picture, again?"

"For the five hundred and fifty-second time, you were fourteen months old and the shoes were …"

"The ones I took my first steps in." Sarada giggled as she finished the familiar story.

"And your daddy can't sleep without that picture right by his side of the bed."

Sakura nestled next to her daughter and read another installment of "The Adventures of Sarada Uchiha: A Girl and her Magical eyes." Sarada had pretended to have magical powers when she was four after watching various cartoons of girls with magic, and Sakura started making up stories about her. Now she actually wrote them out and illustrated them, too. Before Sarada had earned the eternal thanks of Mama Bear for rescuing her baby after falling in the River rapids, Sarada was asleep.

Sakura worked hard at being a good daughter, wife, and mother, but every now and again, she thought it might not be enough. Sasuke spent almost every waking moment working. Mebuki, determined not to be treated like an old woman, kept herself busy. She volunteered at the Red Cross and, in spite of Sakura's objections, insisted on helping the cleaning woman who came in twice a week. Sakura could always tell when her mother had been "supervising." She'd find one of her perfume bottles in the den or her pepper mill in the foyer, where her mother had absentmindedly left it, but the cleaning lady said she didn't mind the company, and it made Mebuki feel useful. And although Sakura knew Sarada still needed her, every day she grew more "I can do that myself, Mommy" independent. When her daughter was four going on forty, Sakura started talking about another baby. Sasuke wasn't having it. Said he worked too hard to be kept awake at night by a crying baby, again. And she was lucky Sarada didn't make her fat and flabby with ugly stretch marks. He didn't want to chance that. Did she? Then he made love to her and made her promise to stop thinking about it. The next day he brought home a diamond tennis bracelet, two tickets to Hawaii, and told her to arrange for Sarada's baby-sitter to stay the week. Sakura knew he was saying "This can happen because we don't have a baby." When they came back Sakura had her tubes tied, Sasuke bought her an Audi A3, and only once in a while, late at night, when she was alone, did she wonder "what if?"

Sakura roused Sarada enough to lead her to bed, tucked her in, smoothed her eyebrows, and switched off the light. Between school, dance, piano and riding lessons, and Brownies, Sakura was busy as a chauffeur. She talked to the other mothers in parking lots, at bake sales, on field trips, but didn't have any real friends. Sasuke didn't either, except maybe Jugo, but it didn't seem to bother him. Temari and Shikamaru had moved back to Konoha when he got out of the service. Sasuke liked Shikamaru right away, mostly because Shikamaru was very impressed with Sasuke's accomplishments. Sarada and Shikadai, enjoyed playing together, so the Nara's had visited often. Temari thought Sakura had hit pay day with Sasuke. She had walked through the old house with her mouth open. "Go 'head on with your rich self, Mrs. Uchiha!" What if she could see this one. Sasuke thought Temari was common, but Sakura was thrilled to have her friend back, so he left it alone. Then, Temari found the wrong brand of panty hose in the trunk of Shikamaru's ride. She left him in a finger snap. At first Sakura called her regularly, but Temari talked about her husband like a dog, and Sakura couldn't take it. As soon as the divorce was final Temari moved to Suna where most of family was with Shikadai, got herself a real-estate license, a new man, and decided Suna was heaven. Divorce was unthinkable to Sakura. Sasuke, Sarada, Momma, they were her family. Nothing was more important than that. Shortly before Sarada was born, Sakura started to worry about carrying some rare genetic disease she knew nothing about and would pass on to the baby. She became so obsessed that Sasuke hired an investigator to track down her real parents, but all he found was a stone-cold dead end. Sometimes Sakura still wondered about them, but she'd feel disloyal to her mother, more like a traitor to her father than she already did, and she'd end up making an extra trip to the cemetery to ease her conscience.

Sakura turned the TV in her bedroom to Orange is the new Black, stretched out on the chaise, and reached for her sketch pad to work on a new adventures for Sarada. She mostly tried not to think about Hinata, but reminders lurked in unexpected places. Just last month, Sarada found snapshots from Hinata's graduation. Sakura remembered that she never sent them as she'd promised. And there was the woman at church who sounded like Hinata. The first time Sakura heard her voice from the back of the choir loft, she got the shivers. Sasuke was glad they'd lost touch and said as much. When Mebuki asked about Hinata that first Christmas after she graduated, Sakura told her mother they'd had a fight, and to leave it alone. For once, Mebuki did. Sakura never told her husband or her mother what had happened between her and Hinata, but then there were lots of things she kept to herself.

When Sasuke tiptoed into the room, Sakura had been asleep for hours. He bent down and kissed her neck. "Hi," Sakura mumbled, stretched, and sat up. 'What's it gonna be tonight?' Sasuke could come in bubbling with enthusiastic plans to expand the business or take a trip. Just as easily he could be withdrawn, or plain ornery like her father used to say. Sakura used to love Sasuke's hums and broody face, but now, more often than not she used it as a mood-o-meter. The less he did it meant he was fine. Responding more with it instead of actually speaking a word signaled a bad attitude, but she hadn't heard him come in and the room was dark so she couldn't really see his face, so she had no idea what to expect . Trying not to be obvious, she flipped on the light and glanced at the clock. She didn't want to start anything, she just wanted to know the time. It was three-fifty.

"How's my Pinky?" Sasuke smiled and ran his finger along her arm.

"Glad to see you." Sakura relaxed. She yawned and decided to tell him about her day. "Something strange happened. With some of my credit cards …"

"Either Miss Utatane forgot to mail my envelopes or there's some kinda computer mess up." Sasuke peeled down to his underwear, sat on his side of the bed, and traced the bronze laces of Sarada's baby shoe. "I'll see 'bout it, first thing Monday." He got into bed. Sakura kissed his chest and glanced down at her hand to make sure her ring was off. After leaving a sizable gash in Sasuke's back one night, she stopped wearing the big stone to bed. She lifted her head and looked at him. Sasuke was one of those men who got better-looking with age, and Sakura, no matter how hard she tried, could never picture him looking old, like her daddy. His hair was longer and no gray at all and the fine lines brought from the stress of working, around his eyes and mouth added authority. He looked like a man who knew the answers. She snuggled up next to him, savoring the sweet moment, because she didn't know how long it would have to do her.

Sasuke slid his hand under Sakura's nightgown, massaged her thigh. He was feeling good, better than he'd felt in a long time. He'd hoped to get by without Sakura running into any problems with the credit cards, but it was all taken care of now. He'd paid them online before he came home. The first four months of the year had been touch-and-go, and he had to let a few bills slide, but two new clients just came through with sizable retainers and the ponies had been running his way all week. "I don't like seeing worry in your eyes." Sasuke kissed her lids. "I put the fire in those eyes, and I'll always keep it burnin'." He turned out the light, rubbed her breasts, and rooted around. Sakura squirmed and moaned a little to make it seem convincing, but it wasn't like it used to be. Mostly sex had become his need and her duty. It got so bad she had asked him point-blank if he was having an affair. When he stopped laughing he assured her there was nobody but work. Every once in a while he would light her fire, but tonight she tilted her head to the side to keep from knocking the mahogany headboard with each mechanical thrust. Sasuke twisted up his face and let his eyes roll back. 'Oh yeah', he felt real good. He fell over to his side of the bed.

"Your 'The Fox in the Hat' ballplayer never knew what he was missing." It was early in the baseball season, but Sasuke had already won pretty big against the Cubs. "They mighta won the Series, but they ain't shit now."

"I hate when you bring Naruto into our bed!"

A couple of times a year, especially since Naruto made it big, Sasuke brought him up, like squaring off in her front hall nine years ago didn't end the duel. "I forgot about him the day I met you. Isn't that enough?"

"Yeah … Mr. Hot Shot." Sasuke scratched and raised up on his elbow, searching for the remote control. "I bet you read all about his sports cars and his girlfriends and wonder what the hell you doin' with small time me." Sasuke sighed.

"Sasuke, I married you because I love you." I don't know what I felt for Naruto. "Naruto Uzumaki plays games …" 'I do wonder sometimes …'. "You're a successful businessman." '… what it would be like to be Mrs Uzumaki?' "How can you ever compare the two?"

Sasuke channel-surfed in silence. "He's goin' out with that model from Land of Demons. You know, what's her name?"

"I don't know, Sasuke." 'Shion. Her name is Shion. Everybody knows that.'

"Any more than I know why you can't forget about him."

Sakura's head pounded like a bass drum. "I have a beautiful little girl, a gorgeous house, and a wonderful husband who takes care of everything." She turned over. "You wouldn't want to trade places with him if you could."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing, Sasuke." She hadn't meant for that to slip out, she was just tired of this conversation. "It's late."

"It must mean something or you wouldn't have said it."

Sakura pretended to fall asleep, so he'd be quiet, but the next morning Sasuke bothered her about Naruto, like a dog with a bone. Accused her of keeping secrets. He left the house in a mean mood, and it wasn't out of his system when he got home. Nothing about that icy afternoon had ever passed Sakura's lips. They had promised, the three of them, never to tell another soul, but Sasuke kept badgering her, and Yahiko had been dead so long she figured it couldn't matter anymore. She just wanted Sasuke to leave her alone and to stop envying Naruto once and for all. "If I tell you, will you promise not to mention him again?"

"Yeah, all right."

"When we were little, Naruto, Hinata, and I, Naruto had an older brother …" Sakura told Sasuke about the gym bag, the Kunai, and tussling that led to.… "His mom hasn't been right since. It was Yahiko who loved baseball. Naruto only started playing after his brother died, kind of in his honor, I guess."

"Well, now. Mr. Baseball is a stone killer. That's what he keeps under all those hats." Sasuke's eyes glazed with satisfaction.

"I told you, you wouldn't want to be him." Sakura lay awake running slumber party preparations through her head, convincing herself she'd done the right thing, until sunlight sneaked around the edges of the window shades.

"Can we have pizza for breakfast, Mrs. Uchiha?" Chōchō smiled at her sweetly.

"Yea! Pizza!" a chorus of little girls chanted from the family room, where they sat across-legged on the floor, in their pajamas, deciding whether to watch Miraculous Tales of Ladybug or The power puff girls on the gigantic flatscreen TV. So far Sarada's sleepover was a big success. Six of her "very best" friends had given the room a proper christening. Last night a face-painting artist transformed the little girls into exotic birds and butterflies. Sakura hired a chef from the local pizzeria to supervise them in making their own pizzas, and she arranged for the sitter to help her keep the girls busy.

"What kind of breakfast is pizza? I'm making doughnuts. I haven't made doughnuts in a month of Sundays." Mebuki joined Sakura in the kitchen. Actually Mebuki hadn't done much cooking at all. Originally, Sasuke planned to add a kitchen to her apartment, but her forgetfulness since the stroke changed his mind.

"Yea! Doughnuts!"

They'd probably cheer for cauliflower. Sakura glanced at the ceiling, hoping they hadn't disturbed Sasuke. Sasuke was enthusiastic when they had first planned the party. He even promised Sarada he'd make her favorite, strawberry-banana pancakes, for breakfast. Sakura reminded him about it before he left for work yesterday, but he hadn't come home until nearly daybreak. Sakura knew he wouldn't show, but she had hoped anyway, for Sarada's sake. Now she just wanted to get through the meal without incident.

"Pancakes. We're all having pancakes this morning!" Sakura said explicitly. It was as much for the benefit of her young guests as for her mother, who was in the cabinet, trying to drag out the big cast-iron Dutch oven she fried doughnuts in.

"Yea! Pancakes!" They cheered. "I betcha my daddy makes better pancakes than any daddy!" Sarada announced.

"Humph! Don't know what's good!" Mebuki snorted, and sat on a stool by the island.

"We'll have doughnuts tomorrow, okay, Gram!" Sarada got up and leaned on her grandmother's knees. "When's Daddy coming down?"

"Honey, Daddy's not up yet. He worked really late last night, so we'll have to get by without his help."

"He promised! He's always working. He never keeps his promises." Sarada pouted.

"You know he'll make it up to you." Sakura disappeared into the pantry. Sasuke would bring her a new doll or whatever else was part of the biggest display in the toy store.

"I don't want a present. I wanted him to make us pancakes," Sarada muttered as she slunk back to the den.

Breakfast came and went disaster-free. By the time Sasuke appeared, shaved and dressed, they were back from the matinee and the girls, lined up on the den sofa, swayed from side to side, singing "Let it go" for the hundred time. "Hi, Daddy!" Sarada plowed into her father.

"I thought this thing was to celebrate your new room." Sasuke nodded toward the chorus in the family room. Sarada grabbed his hand and smiled up at him, absentmindedly twisting the diamond ring around his pinkie. "We did. I mean we are! We're having so much fun! You missed it!"

Sakura, watching from the kitchen, saw the tension lines around his mouth. "Can I fix you something?"

"No. I'll eat when I come back. Stop it, Sarada" Sasuke shook his hand loose and pulled his car keys from his pocket. "I've got a run to make." Sarada sighed, and went back to her friends.

"Okay. I'll have a snack ready when you get back."

"I wanna watch all the pre-race stuff." 'I forgot. It's Derby Day.'

The first time they'd watched the race together, Sasuke told her stories about amazing horses, ponies he called them, and heroic jockeys. He explained in exacting detail of racing. Last year Sasuke bought a horse, Dream's Girl, the first of his string, he told her. A colt with the same sire as Sasuke's filly was running this year, so she knew the Derby was important to him.

"I won't be long."

The door slammed and Sasuke was gone. I hope these kids are gone by race time. Fortunately, mothers started arriving for their daughters, each departure triggering a long, sad good-bye, like they'd never have this much fun together again. The drizzle that started when they got back from the movies had increased to an insistent shower. Only Namida and Chōchō to return to their rightful owners. They rounded out the inseparable trio Sakura called the "three musketeers" The way the three of them clung together always reminded Sakura of her and Hinata and Naruto, but she kept that thought to herself. Sakura, exhausted, sipped mint tea at the kitchen counter. The headache that had settled across her brow made her squint, and the jeers and boos coming from her mother's room didn't help. Mebuki had the TV in her sitting room turned up to for her Saturday afternoon wrestling. It's a wonder she's not deaf. Listen to me! She used to say that to me and Hinata! Sakura shook her head and got up to make a sandwich for Sasuke. 'What if he wants something hot?'

Sasuke came in, whistling "I brought pizza for my girls! It's horrid outside. But it's sunny and dry in KY!"

He laughed at his rhyme as he put two boxes on the counter, then hung his wet jacket in the back hall. Sarada came in to investigate. "But Daddy, we …"

"We love pizza!" Sakura chimed in, and signaled Sarada to leave it along. Sasuke didn't remember they'd made pizza last night, and since he returned in a better mood than when he left, it was easier to pretend it was exactly what they wanted. Sakura popped one of the pies in the oven to warm. Sarada shrugged and went back to Namida and Chōchō and their game. Sasuke followed Sarada into the den and changed the channels on the TV until he found what he wanted. Sakura debated whether to send the girls upstairs, but they were playing quietly and they'd be picked up any minute. In the background she heard a reporter run down a list of celebrities attending the Run for the Roses and daydreamed, just for a moment, of being there in a wide-brimmed straw hat, enjoying the festivities with Sasuke. "It's almost post time." Sasuke had settled in his favorite chair. Sakura moved a vase aside, set his tray on the table next to him, and perched on the ottoman. "Do you know what it means for Dream's Girl if Shadow wins the Derby?"

Sakura figured it was good, but Sasuke didn't expect an answer anyway. Truth was she didn't care about all his horse talk, but she could see he was excited. "I know he's twenty-five and one, but the favorite hasn't won this race in years." As if to back him up the announcer said if the pace was fast, there was a strong possibility Shadow could finish in the top three. "You hear that! What did I tell you!" Sasuke leaned forward, rubbing his hands together. "I'll have investors lined up begging for a piece of my Girl." And the way he figured it, he'd walk away with a big enough chunk of cash to put all his finances to right and then some. He'd be flush again, and that didn't even count what he'd bet on the colt.

As handlers led the horses into the starting gate the doorbell rang. Sakura jumped up to answer it. Namida's mother stood dripping on the threshold. Sakura knew that she was president of the Parents Alliance at school, ran her own catering service, and was married to the chief of police, but right now, dressed in a bright yellow slicker, matching rain hat, and red Wellingtons, the round, woman looked like a Paddington Bear. Sakura smiled politely. "Come in …I'll get…" The crash of exploding glass sent both women rushing toward the screams and shrieks coming from the den. A smoky cloud and the acrid smell of burning plastic hung in the air. Sakura reached the room in time to see Sasuke disappear up the back stairs. The television hissed and sparked from a jagged gaping hole in the screen. Water dripped down the front of the set and pale yellow jonquils mingled with glass shards on the carpet. On the far side of the room the girls huddled and sobbed. "Mommy!" Namida attached herself to her mother's leg. Sakura hugged Sarada and Chōchō. "We … we weren't doing anything … just playing. Daddy just threw it … the vase, and it broke the TV," Sarada stammered.

"He did what?" Namida's mother snarled at Sakura. "What kind of man would do that? And in front of children?" She scooped her daughter into her arms and pulled Chōchō out of Sakura's grasp. "Come on, honey, get your things. I'll take you home. You don't have to stay here another minute." Chōchō wiped her tears on her sleeve and went to get her coat. "I can tell you this, Mrs. Uchiha, Namida won't be back, and I'm sure once I talk to her mother, Chōchō won't either!"

"We should have been upstairs … in my room." Tears streamed down Sarada's cheeks when the others had gone.

"Shh." Sakura held her daughter tight. "You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing." Sakura struggled to keep herself from trembling.

"That Undertaker is one mean … What happened in here?" Mebuki emerged from her room and stared openmouthed at the smoldering mess.

"I'm not exactly sure, Momma."

"The children did that?"

"No … No, but why don't you take Sarada with you and finish watching. I'll clean up… okay?" Sakura turned Sarada around to face her grandmother.

"Humph! You want me to take her back to watch wrestling?" Mebuki knew something was up. "Come on, Sarada." Sarada dashed into Mebuki's arms. "Tag team is next." They headed up Mebuki's short flight of stairs.

Sakura unplugged the broken TV, then raced up to the bedroom. He's never acted like this. Sasuke was moody, unpredictable, and often irritable, but this was insane. "Well? What's the matter with you?"

Sasuke sat at the foot of their bed, his shoe shine kit open at his feet, rubbing paste wax on his shoe. He had pulled up the spread and covered the ivory carpeting with an old towel just like he always did. He didn't look up, but he'd been expecting her. She walked to the window. "Have you gone crazy?" In deliberate circles Sasuke massaged polish into the leather with a rag. He'd asked himself that question. Nothing like that had ever taken hold of him before. Five O'Clock Shadow flew out of the gate and settled at the front of the thundering pack, running easy like a spring breeze. That's when Sasuke started shaking, down in his bones. Shadow charged and Sasuke felt redeemed. His horse was coming home. He could feel it, and it was a sign his lucky star was on the rise. "Do you know how much you scared Sarada? And her friends?" Sakura faced the rain-streaked window. She couldn't look at him. Did she know how much he scared himself? Sasuke slipped his hand inside the shoe and started brushing. Shadow was in command, six lengths ahead. No prodding, no crop for him. Sasuke watched, spellbound. Then the horse dropped to his knees. Just like that. Keeled over, dead in his tracks. Sasuke knew it was a heart attack. He'd seen it happen once before but it couldn't have happened to Shadow, and he couldn't have thrown that vase through the TV screen. Sasuke had relived the moment a hundred times since he came upstairs. Like that made anything different. The right side of his shoe gleamed from the vigorous strokes, but the left was still mottled with wax. "Not to mention me. How could you do that?" She spun around to face him. Of course he couldn't tell her he'd gone and broken his own rules. He hadn't been winning enough to keep out of the hole, and when he found himself in a tight spot, he had let the business invest in his hobby. Just for a while, until he got straight. He wouldn't tell her he'd used the retainers he got from the two new clients to clean up his stable and training fees for a filly that it didn't even pay to breed now. And it wasn't her business that he wouldn't dip into his private stash to fix this. That money was strictly a last resort, his last stake, and he didn't need the parachute yet. Sakura waited, arms locked across her chest. She didn't look like his sweet Pinky now. Sasuke kept brushing the shiny side of his shoe. He couldn't tell her what happened. Of course he'd lost before. That's part of the deal, but this should have been a turning point. He'd bet on that. Now what could he say? "Things haven't been going so good … I can't win. I'll make it up to you baby?" That wasn't a man's way. He didn't realize he'd started humming. "Stop that and answer me!" Sakura glared at him, waiting for an explanation.

"I don't know." He did still have a voice. He told her what happened to Shadow. "It's just … I …" He dropped his head and stared. "Well … the business, things haven't been going so hot lately. Some of my best clients left me for the big national chains. That's why I want to keep expanding." He looked at her now, measuring the impact of his words before he continued. "I hoped the money from investors in Dream's Girl would at least give me a fighting chance … I'd get some new equipment … I was stupid I guess."

Sakura sat next to him on the bed. "You should have told me. I know how hard you work, but you never let on …"

"I didn't want to worry you. I still don't. I just got real upset. I'll sell Dream's Girl, tighten things up a bit, and it'll be fine. I'll make this up to you and Sarada. I will." Sakura thought she saw tears at the corner of Sasuke's eyes.

"The inheritance your father left you, is it gone?"

"Pretty much, I used it to expand the business and made a few bad investments."

Sakura was shocked to hear that. It was a lot of money. "Why don't you go to your brother I know he's sick now but maybe he can help."

"No!" Sasuke scowled at her.

"Why not? What's the issue with your brother?"

Sasuke sighed "He's an asshole, you know we don't deal with each other."

"Don't you think you should make up? He has cancer and can go at anytime"

"I don't want to talk about this!"

"Okay, no problem. How can I help?"

"I need you to forgive me, Pinky."

'Need? He never said that before.' "Of course I forgive you."

The next morning Sakura eased Sasuke's Mercedes into a space in front of the Super walk. The sky was bright and cloudless, a few oily puddles in the parking lot the only reminder of yesterday's downpour. Sakura didn't like driving his car because he always complained about having to readjust the seat and mirrors afterward, but he had blocked hers in the garage and Sarada was worried about being late for Sunday School. Orange juice … Half & Half … Sakura turned the ignition off, opened the door, reached for her purse, and only then remembered it sitting on the kitchen counter. She checked her pockets. Eleven cents. He's got to have change in here. Between the seats, sixty-two cents. Map pocket, four dimes. Glove box, the coin slots were full. 'Thank you, Sasuke!' She didn't know why the book caught her eye. The book was small and black, nondescript really, like a mileage log, but she opened it up. Names, dates, and numbers, written in Sasuke's small cramped script filled the pages. Lots of numbers, underlined, circled in red. He pressed so hard that if you turned the pages over, it felt like braille. He always presses too hard. She tried to get him to stop, but he'd told her it was pretty near impossible to teach an old dog new tricks. Sakura's head started to throb and she pulled down the visor to block out the sun. She recognized the names, at least some of them. Sports teams. The numbers. They couldn't be … dollars? Thousands and thousands of dollars. There were multiple entries for almost every day. Football, hockey, basketball. Sakura didn't remember the drive home. "Things haven't been going so hot … buy some new equipment … I didn't want to worry you …" She came to when she slammed the bedroom door.

Sasuke rolled over and lifted his head. "Mornin', Ba …"

"How much have you lost, Sasuke?!" She knew he gambled, but not like this. "What did it cost you, or should I say us, when that stupid horse dropped dead?" She threw the book at him before he could deny anything. "Tell me! Why did you lie?"

He raised up, pulled the covers around him. "Where'd you get … It's not like that. This isn't … what you think."

"And what is it I think, Sasuke? That you've got a problem 'cause you'll bet on anything?"

"Pinky … Sakura, I got a little carried away." He tossed the covers back and got out of bed. "But yesterday scared some sense into me." Sasuke stood in front of her in his white undershirt, his long spindly legs protruding from baggy boxer shorts.

"When we were away you always bet more than I thought you should, but what did I know? Not that you bet every day! Every day, Sasuke! Is that why you're so moody? You win, you're happy. You lose, you're miserable. Are we broke? Tell me! Are we?!"

"Broke?! No way … that'll never happen. I always have a safety net, always. Anyway, I told you I learned my lesson."

"This is crazy, Sasuke. You can't do this anymore. You have to stop …" she caught herself before the "or" escaped. 'Or what Sakura? Or I'll leave? Take Sarada and my mother and go where?' She had a checking account that Sasuke opened for her. He put money in it every month so she didn't have to bother him for minor expenses. That should last us … how long? I don't even know how much is in there. In an instant, the tears welled up, and Sakura realized that she didn't know what they owed or what they owned or have two quarters to rub together that didn't come from Sasuke. 'What would I … we … do if …'

"I swear to you, Pinky, it's over, finished. Yesterday was it for me. Come here … He opened his arms for her.

"It's just…I'm so … scared, Sasuke," Sakura sobbed into his chest.

Sasuke held her tight. "You don't have to be scared of anything. I promise, Baby. I promise."

AN: Any kind of addiction isn't good. Please take care of yourself. Thank you for reading.