Since our last interaction in Laguna wasn't completely terrible, I decide to try to be a little more consistent with Renee. I know that doesn't mean she'll return the gesture and suddenly be present in my life, but I think I'm okay with that. As long as I know that I'm making an effort, I don't necessarily need our relationship to be perfect.

Her birthday is coming up in a week, so I give her a call just to touch base. She doesn't answer, so I leave a voicemail letting her know I just wanted to say hey. Since things have progressed with Edward, and I'm finally all in, part of me is tempted to let her know about all of that as well. I don't know if she'll even care or if it matters to her. But when she asked what was holding me back with him, and I decidedly avoided the topic, I just thought she might like to know that I'm working on all of that. Like she is, with Raoul.

Three weeks pass until I finally hear from her. I don't take offense to her delay in returning my call, because that's pretty decent for us communication-wise.

"Hey," I greet, answering the call. I'm sitting outside on my lunch break, a rare sunny day in October. "Happy belated birthday."

"Don't remind me," she says, sounding a little irritated. "I stopped keeping track of my age years ago."

"Got it," I chuckle, keeping the mood light. "What have you been up to?"

"Not a lot. Things have been pretty uneventful." She pauses, like she's covering the phone to talk to someone else. I wait a second, until she says, "I got your message. Did you need something?"

"Yeah, I mean, no. I just wanted to say hi," I reply carefully. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Nothing," she says, distracted. "Why?"

"Just wondering."

"I don't really care for holidays drenched with cultural appropriation," she all but snips.

She's so different compared to our last interaction. But maybe I shouldn't be surprised because this is who Renee actually is—passive-aggression laced with apathy. Not the glowing and open communicator she pretended to be back when we visited.

I hear some commotion in the background. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport."

"Oh. Are you and Raoul going somewhere?"

"No."

"Where are you going?" I ask, dropping my friendly tone. If she wants to be no nonsense, I can do that.

"Florida."

"Why?"

"What is this," she laughs humorlessly, "an interrogation?"

I forgot that talking to her is like pulling teeth sometimes. Her irritation triggers something inside, and I feel like I'm twelve years old again, trying to get my mom to connect with me when all she wants to do is anything but.

"Not an interrogation," I finally say, frowning to myself. "I'm just curious."

"If you must know, I have some friends who are gonna put me up for a little bit. I think I need a change of scenery. Can't stick around in one place for too long, or I'll become stagnant."

"Florida's… nice," I mumble. "Laguna's nice too."

"Laguna is toxic."

"What happened? Where's Raoul?"

"He's right where I left him."

"So it's over?" I ask, and she mumbles confirmation. "He didn't seem so bad." Yes, he's a kook, but out of all the men she's been with, save Charlie, he was decent.

"Yeah, he was fine until he wasn't," she replies vaguely.

"You weren't with him for very long."

She snorts. "Luckily."

"Weren't you engaged?" I ask, hoping she won't shut down and end the conversation. "I saw the ring on your finger. That alone was a big deal, right? You haven't been that serious with someone since… since Dad."

"Not that I have to explain myself to you, Bella, but material things don't really mean much. A ring on my finger doesn't mean that person owns me. Sure, we were engaged, but I had enough foresight to know it wasn't going to last."

"Okay," I say, because there isn't anything else to really add. I don't necessarily care either way if she and Raoul are done. But a tiny part of me thought she was changing. To be quite honest, it kind of had a helping hand in allowing me to put a little trust in my own relationship with Edward. Seeing how she appeared okay and was putting herself out there to be with someone, despite her past, was slightly encouraging.

"I'm about to board," she replies and clears her throat. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

"Alright, sure," I mumble.

Before I can say another word, she hangs up, and I'm left with the phone to my ear, wondering why I feel surprised by her behavior. Wondering why, after all this time, I've failed to realize that her one consistency is being inconsistent.

XXX

After my call with Renee, works drags.

It's Halloween so everyone's focus is a little off. They're all in high spirits after our midday potluck, and productivity dwindles afterward. My lack of focus has less to do with the holiday and more to do with my flake of a mother. Part of me is still trying to dissect everything, but the other part is just embarrassed—for her, for me. Ultimately I know none of her actions reflect onto me, but I worry that her flakiness is my future. How could I not?

When it's time to leave work, I linger. I'm usually the first out, but tonight I'm the last. I don't know why, but heading home and having to socialize right away just doesn't sound appealing. So I buy myself a little time, trying to shake my weird mood.

My phone chirps, and I find a message from Edward, asking when I'm gonna be home. When I fully open our text thread I realize I missed two others from him earlier in the day. I reply, letting him know I'll just meet everyone at the bar. Em wanted to celebrate Halloween, but since it's a weeknight and none of us wanted to dress up, we decided Bingo at the Chinese restaurant would suffice.

I'm gathering my stuff and shoving my laptop into its bag when Ben walks out, looking surprised to still see me here.

"You didn't hear me singing along to Queen, did you?" he asks, looking busted.

"Nope."

"Thank God." He looks relieved then, "I probably shouldn't have said anything, and you wouldn't have had a clue, huh?"

"Probably," I reply, offering an amused smile, even if it's slightly forced.

He switches off the light in his office, lingering in his doorway before walking closer to my desk. "Why're you here so late, anyway?"

I stand, slipping my phone into my bag. "Just wanted to finish up some stuff," I say vaguely, not about to divulge details about Renee.

"Well you're officially off the clock," he says, small smile on his lips as he runs a hand through his sandy hair.

"Don't you worry, I'm leaving," I reply. "But my bus will be here in ten, so I can lock up if you gotta jet."

He drums his fingers on my desk. "Where ya headed? I can give you a ride."

"You don't have to do that."

With an easy shrug he says, "I don't mind. Besides, you can scope out the inside of my car and tell all the other employees how much of a slob I am."

I laugh, surprised by his light demeanor. "Deal."

Grabbing my stuff, I stand idly while he locks up then follow him outside to his Audi. He tells me to type where I'm going into the GPS, so I do. After a moment of scanning over the directions, he laughs lightly.

"Was your day really that bad?" he asks, throwing the car into drive.

I shift in the seat. "What do you mean?"

He points to the GPS. "You're heading to the bar straight after work. Not a good sign, Bella. Should I be worried about you? Check you in to the nearest rehab center?" I realize he's fighting a smile, and for the second time, I'm caught off guard by his joking. In the office he's nice, sure, but he doesn't typically banter or hold playful conversations with anyone. Not that I've noticed anyway.

"Although we do have great insurance, I think I'll pass on the rehab," I say lightly. "I'm just meeting some friends for bingo. My roommate, Em, wanted to do something for Halloween, so we figured why not."

"Bingo at a Chinese restaurant?"

"That's not all," I counter, talking it up. "They have great karaoke, Jell-O shots, and trivia on Monday nights."

"You don't strike me as the Jell-O shot type." He takes his eyes off the road for a brief second, glancing over at me. "So no costume tonight?"

"Not this year. I feel like I might be getting a little old for that, anyway."

He breathes out a laugh. "Come on, you're barely twenty-four."

"Try twenty-seven. Don't you like, have a file on me?"

"Jane handles all the HR stuff. And I don't typically snoop on my employees." Again with the teasing tone, and I'm left wondering how old he is. He's gotta be at least thirty, but it's hard to tell. His cheeks are still boyish but there are lines around his eyes that suggest otherwise.

Soon enough, we're pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. Neon lights flash above us—half bright, half burned out. I thank him for the ride and say that I'll see him tomorrow. He promises it wasn't a problem and tells me to have a good night.

Once I'm inside, I don't need to glance around to know where my crew's sitting because I instantly spot Edward in the corner booth, hair a complete mess and eyes on me the moment I walked in. I slide across the bench seat and he gives me a sweet smile and a kiss, but doesn't question why I'm late.

"Why'd you bring your laptop?" he asks instead, watching as I place the bag on the floor between our feet.

"I didn't go home yet; I came straight here from work. Ben dropped me off actually."

Edward nods, but his eyes narrow just slightly. "Does he live over here?"

"No. I think he lives down south."

"Sounds like he went a little out of his way. The opposite direction, actually."

"I think he was just being nice."

"Nice, huh?"

His brows are the slightest bit furrowed, and though his tone is light, what he's suggesting feels a little heavy.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say Edward Cullen is jealous.

I've seen many sides of him over the years—playful, annoyed, flirty, somber, hungover, excited, and more recently, aroused. But this is the first time I've noticed anything akin to possessive.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," I murmur, calling him out.

"I'm—" He opens his mouth, and it's like he hadn't recognized the feeling until I pointed it out. "Call it what you want, but you're my girlfriend, and I don't like the idea of you riding in cars with other men."

"He's not 'other men,' he's my boss." I kiss him, letting my lips linger a second longer. "To be honest, it's kind of cute how protective you're getting, but I promise it's not necessary. Okay?"

He kisses me back and drops it.

"You wanna play?" Edward asks, sliding his board toward me.

"Not really." I sip the beer he also slid my way. "I'm kinda beat. Today was weird."

Em and Rose join the conversation, and Edward gives me a small, knowing look. One that I know means he'll ask about my day later, when we're alone.

The night dwindles, and I listen to the three of them shoot the shit without really joining in. I laugh when I need to and slowly drink my beer until it's no longer cold, and I can't really hide the fact that I just don't really want to be here right now.

When Emmett goes to order more beer and Rose slips into the bathroom, I turn to Edward.

"I think I'm gonna go home."

"All right." He searches my face, keeping his unreadable. "You okay?"

"I'm okay. Just tired." It's not an outright lie—I am exhausted. Work has been a little crazy since Ben had me take over the company's social media accounts. On top of that, I'm training the new receptionist. So my days have been a little longer than normal, but the exhaustion is such a welcome feeling. There was zero thought behind my job at the museum, so I'm glad to be distracted by work for once.

"Okay," he says, throwing down some cash. "Let's go."

"You don't have to." I kiss him, making sure it's long and deep. I know I'm acting a little off, and my words are never really that convincing. The least I can do is try to reassure him with my actions. "Really. You can stay if you want. Bingo it up, baby."

He looks amused. "Baby?"

"It's not a pet name. I was just… being weird," I backtrack. "Stay. Have fun."

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk home alone? Besides, I missed you today. I wanna hang, even if we're doing nothing." He pauses, amused smirk still on his lips. "If you're cool with that… baby."

My eyes roll, but I smile. I usually find this term of endearment cheap, but I don't hate the way it sounds rolling off his tongue. We slide out of the booth and detour across the bar to pass by Em, letting him know we're heading out. He makes a joke about leaving to have sex, and I ignore him, as does Edward.

Once we're outside, I feel slightly better. The night is cool but not cold, and it's hard to believe the holidays are just around the corner. I think about where Renee might be by then—somewhere in Florida, couch-surfing with whomever. And Raoul, the poor schmuck. Who knows what emotional state he's in, but if Renee had anything to do with it, I'm sure her goodbye was one for the books. My mind wanders to the day she left Charlie—left me—and I can't help but wonder if she was as nonchalant then as she was today about leaving Raoul.

I'm stuck in my thoughts, aimlessly walking home, and don't realize Edward's trying to grab my attention until his arm brushes against mine.

"Hey."

"Hey," I echo, finding his eyes. "Sorry."

"You seem distracted." He says it evenly, not accusing or complaining—just perceptive. "What's on your mind?"

"Just stuff."

We cross the road, walking in silence for a few moments.

"Talk to me," he encourages. "Did something happen?"

His face is full of worry, concern. I bite the inside of my cheek, unsure of whether or not I want to share with him. Thoughts of "I told you so" pop into my head when my mind wanders back to LA and Edward's initial concern with us visiting Renee in the first place. Sneaking a glance at his face again, I decide to tell him. He's a pretty confident guy, but I am acting a little distant, and I don't want him to think it's something he did.

"I talked to my mom earlier. She's just all over the place. Always. I should've known Laguna was a fucking fluke."

Edward's silent, and when I don't keep the conversation going, he speaks. "What did she do?"

"She left Raoul and is suddenly moving to Florida. Talk about fucking random. And her actions weren't directly related to me, but hearing about her leaving another person just… I don't know. It triggers something in me. Because I've been there—I know what it's like. And it fucking sucks."

We hear a car up ahead and move closer to the side of the road, the headlights nearly blinding us. It passes, and we stay silent for the next couple of minutes, until we're back home. I grab a glass of water, drinking it completely before filling another glass. Edward heads into the living room then pulls me on the couch when I follow him.

"I don't want to say the wrong thing," he prompts. "But why'd you think this time would be different with her?"

I know he's trying to be sensitive and navigate his way through this carefully, but his words kind of sting. Instead of growing defensive, I really try to think about what he's asked.

"Because it felt different?" I ask rather than state. "Sure, her and Raoul were a little kooky but we had real conversations. She asked about my life, about you. She wasn't passed out drunk on the couch like she has been in the past. She didn't leave only to return after a couple days, not explaining where she was," I recall. "This time I spent like, seven hours with her, and she was present. I don't think that's ever happened."

"I hear you. But I don't think her showing up for you once is enough to think she's changed, Bell. I just… don't."

I sigh, knowing he's probably right. "I wish it weren't wired somewhere deep inside of me to want her around. It's… stupid.

"It's not stupid. Not at all," he says gently. "I wish you wouldn't let her jerk your emotions around. It's not good for you."

I find his eyes, so full of concern and honesty and love. "Maybe it felt different with her because you were there for me."

He likes this answer, kissing my temple, keeping his lips on my head when he says, "Maybe."

Scooting closer, I curl my body next to his and drape an arm over his torso. "I don't want to think about Renee anymore."

With his arm wrapped around my shoulder he says, "Okay."

I lift my head a little and press a soft kiss to the side of his neck. "You missed me today, huh?"

He breathes out a tiny laugh. "Always. I texted a couple times, but you didn't reply. Work was busy for you?"

"Kinda. Sorry." I bring a hand up to his face, fingers tracing over his sharp jaw, noting the stubble that's there. "Tomorrow's November."

"I know."

"Then December."

He smirks. "That's usually how it works."

"And then you're gone." And suddenly so is his smirk. "Our time kinda feels like it's running out, huh?" My voice is just above a whisper, and I watch his throat bob with a swallow.

"Don't think like that."

"How could I not?"

"Just because we won't be in the same city doesn't mean we're over," he says assuredly. "I'm far from being done with you, Bell. In fact, I think you might be stuck with me forever."

My stomach flutters from his sincerity. "Aren't you worried though?"

"No, because I love you."

"I love you, too. But that doesn't solve everything."

"We'll FaceTime every day, and I already have a flight booked to come back in March for my dad's birthday. And you'll come to me when you can," he reminds me. "It's going to be okay. Will you just trust me on this?"

"I'm trying."

"Try harder." He offers a small but encouraging smile before turning serious. "I'm not gonna let you down, okay? I'm just not."

Hearing how candid he's being makes my chest so full, my heart so warm. I move from my spot next to him, and straddle his lap. It's indecent the way he makes me feel, with his words, his actions. His hands run up and down my back, roaming over my hips. I move in small, deliberate circles on his lap, creating a little friction, feeling him grow and lengthen. Warmth spreads throughout my body, and his eyes are a shade darker, watching me grind on him.

Pressed against his chest, I kiss him, still moving.

"What are you trying to do?" he asks, arousal clear on his face, mouth parted.

"Make you fuck me on the couch," I murmur against his lips.

I feel him smile. "What if Em and Rose come home?"

"They won't."

"Alice?"

"Doubtful."

He's fully hard now, pressing against me in the most delicious way. My body ignites, and yes, we could walk the short distance to one of our rooms. But I don't want to break this feeling, this connection to him.

We keep our shirts on, and I lose my jeans. He lifts his ass off the couch and partially pulls his down, removing himself through the pouch in his briefs.

"Condom?" he breathes, but he's right there, tip already pressed against me. If I didn't have enough self-control to take this into the bedroom, there's no way in hell I'll be able to move now with how good he feels against me.

"No condom."

And then I grip him, carefully sinking down and losing my breath. He groans, and my eyes clench shut. It's not the first time we've had sex without protection, and I crave the feeling of having nothing between us.

We start slow, lazily moving against one another. It's sweet and tender, and the way his gaze stays trained on my face feels so intimate. But, like always, it erupts into something more than lovemaking. He pounds instead of pumps, and I lose myself completely. Lifting my shirt a bit, he sucks my breast into his mouth. When he lightly bites down, I tighten around him, eliciting a moan from his throat that vibrates against my skin.

We move against each other, completely unaffected by the fact that anyone could walk in. But maybe that's half the thrill of it. His pace quickens, and he brings a hand down between us, rubbing me.

He grits his teeth, eyebrows knitting together. "I'm close. Should I pull out?"

"No, no," I breathe, body on fire. Still bucking against me, he searches my face. "On the pill," I remind him, panting. "Come inside me."

His breath hitches, and I can see very clearly that my words turn him on.

"Fuck, Bella. Say it again."

I say it over and over, begging him to come. He grunts out loud, gripping my ass so hard and holding me against him as he pulses inside of me. He fills me completely, and seconds later my body loses control too. I tense and tremble, craving the wave that washes over all my senses.

Collapsed against his chest, I press an open-mouthed kiss to his neck.

"Wow," I murmur, catching my breath.

"I know." With his head tilted back against the couch, he says, "I'll never get enough of you. Ever."

His words send a thrill through me, and I kiss his Adam's apple.

"Thank you."

He lifts his head, eyes soft and expectant. "For what?"

"Being there for me tonight. Making me feel better."

"You don't have to thank me for that. Haven't you caught on by now that I'm not going anywhere?" he asks, kissing me softly.

"I think I'm starting to." I kiss him back, then glance down between us. "We should probably go clean up… and make sure none of this gets on the couch."

His laugh is breathy, albeit a tad embarrassed. "That sounds like a great idea."

Hope everyone had a spectacular New Year! We stayed out way too late and I'm still feeling it today, lol. Luckily I had enough strength to post ;)

Hadley is the bomb dot com. I tinkered, so any mistakes are mine!