WoodenOwl31: I so look forward to your reviews because they make me laugh so much. You are probably gonna want to add Miranda to your hit list after this chapter :P

Emily was already gone when Lee got up the next morning. He struggled to get up as it was. He ached with missing her even though it had been two days since their break up. He kept wondering if he had just told her sooner, would things be different right now? He was ignoring Barney's messages. He didn't feel like getting lectured about something he already knew. Lee noticed there was nothing in the dishwasher to indicate that Emily had eaten that morning, and he felt frustrated. A part of him wanted to confront her at work about it, but he knew she would probably get very angry at him, and that was the last thing he wanted right now. He decided to go out for a walk or a run, whatever suited him in the moment. He'd go wherever his feet took him.

…

"That's the new me," Emily said to Serena, who was staring at Andrea. The girl looked lost and confused. It had been one hell of a morning, and Emily was exasperated with her. How hard was it to do the things Miranda asked? Emily remembered her first day was a little overwhelming, but she wasn't stupid and picked up on things quickly, so what was wrong with Andrea? Emily knew she was being a bit harsh with Andrea, but she had to let out her feelings and anger about Lee somewhere. Andrea was just the unlucky target.

"Seriously?" Serena asked. Emily nodded. "I thought you were yanking my chain."

"Nope. Anyway," Emily said. "Andrea, I'm going to lunch. I'll be gone 20 minutes. You can take your 15 minute lunch when I get back."

"O-Okay," Andy said.

"And do not leave the desk," Emily warned.

"Got it," Andy nodded.

"What is she wearing?" Serena asked as they walked away together.

"Something from the Stone Age I imagine. Maybe her great-grandmother owned it," Emily sniggered. Serena snorted with laughter, and they were soon gone from the office. Emily did her best to keep it together as her heart dealt with being torn in half. The digs towards Andy were uncalled for, she knew, but a part of her didn't care. She was hurt thus she wanted to hurt others. She didn't care if she was being mean.

"Where is Mr. Handsome?" Serena asked. "Doesn't he usually come with your lunch by now?"

"We broke up," Emily answered. Then she burst into tears.

"What?! Em, are you serious?!" Serena asked, shocked.

"Yes," Emily nodded. She wiped at her eyes then, not wanting others to see her cry while they were still in the lobby.

"What happened?"

"It just didn't work out," Emily lied.

"Oh, please," Serena said. "I don't buy that for a second. What did he do?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Emily insisted as they got outside. She didn't think Serena would understand Lee's job anyway. Serena stopped walking then, and Emily stopped a few steps later, seeing the same thing Serena was.

It was Lee, sitting on the bench outside of her building.

"You should talk to him," Serena suggested when Emily turned away and was facing her friend.

"I can't," Emily shook her head.

"He obviously wants to talk to you. Why else would he be sitting there right now?" Serena challenged.

"No..."

Serena grabbed Emily by the shoulders and propelled her backwards towards Lee. He watched, slightly amused, as Serena forced Emily, who was clearly swearing and fighting with Serena, to sit down beside him.

"I will hit you," Serena warned when Emily tried to get up again. She looked back and forth between Lee and Emily. "Talk."

Emily clenched her jaw as Serena walked away far enough to not overhear but close enough to stop her from bailing.

"You doing okay?" Lee asked.

"No, I am not doing bloody well okay," Emily answered.

"Me either."

"I'm not changing my mind," Emily said firmly. She was, however, thinking of how much she wanted him to change her mind.

"I know."

They were quiet for a while, and Emily knew she had to get back to work.

"You get someone to fill your old job?" he asked. He was desperate to keep talking to her.

"Yes, and she's an idiot," Emily sighed. "I will be astounded if she lasts the week."

"That's harsh," Lee commented.

"Yes, well, I'm a little harsh these days," Emily spat out.

"I'm sorry," Lee said, knowing it was partly his fault.

"I have to go," Emily said abruptly. Lee caught her arm before she stood up.

"Can we at least be friends?" he asked. "Or be able to speak to one another without the hate?"

"I don't know..."

"Em, we're roommates. We have to find a way to get along."

She knew this was true. In all honesty, she wanted to just forget it all and go back to the way things were when they were together and happy, but she was afraid to. There was so much doubt in her mind right now, more so than usual.

"I'll try," she nodded finally.

"That's all I ask."

"I really do have to go now," Emily said.

"Right," he said, releasing her. It took all she had to not throw herself in his arms and kiss him. She forced herself up and walked back towards the office. Serena clacked hurriedly behind her, her shoes hitting the sidewalk hard.

"Well?" she asked.

"We agreed to get along," Emily answered. "That's all."

"It's a start," Serena said encouragingly.

"I guess."

They were standing by the elevator now.

"Good luck with the rest of your day," Serena said.

"Thanks."

Emily went up to find Andy wiggling like a puppy having to go out.

"Are you serious?" Emily asked. "I had to wait hours for you, and you can't even do 20 minutes?!"

"I didn't go after all my running around," Andy said defensively.

"Well, go on then," Emily said, annoyed. "Go!"

Andy bolted from her desk like a bullet from a gun. Emily sat down and pressed her head into her hands. She was trapped inside a nightmare.

...

Lee was moving to leave when he saw James. The guy was oblivious to Lee as he walked and talked on his phone. Lee did not take long to come up behind him. When James hung up, Lee smacked his elbow, causing James to lose grip of his phone. It went flying, and James swore before turning around to see Lee. His face went white.

"Don't think I don't know what you did," Lee said. He worked to keep his fists to himself and his voice calm.

"I only did it to protect her," James said defensively.

"From what?" Lee challenged.

"From a liar, a killer."

"There's a difference between what I do and what murderers do," Lee pointed out. "I stop the murderers, not that I expect you to even understand or give a shit. You had no right doing what you did."

"I did it because I care about Emily."

"You meddled because you couldn't handle Emily not being with you," Lee said, jabbing his finger into James's chest now. He resisted wrapping his fist around James's neck.

"I did not," James objected.

"If you think that you're just gonna slip back into a relationship with her, you're kidding yourself," Lee said.

"Vulnerable women are the easiest to date," James smirked. Lee took a step closer, making James jump back.

"You leave her alone," Lee warned.

"What, you think she's gonna go running back to you? She told me she hates you," James commented. Lee felt a shot to his heart at this, but he also knew James was a snake. Emily wouldn't say that, would she?

James knew he had planted doubt into Lee's mind. He gloated inside.

"May the best man win," he said. Lee released him, looking disgusted.

"This isn't a game, and Emily is not something to be won," Lee said.

"That's because you just know I'd win," James sneered. Lee had to step away because there were too many people watching, and he didn't trust himself to not punch James right in the face. Or the throat.

"If you can't see that what you're planning on doing is hurtful to Emily, then you have no idea how to care for Emily or know how to treat her," Lee said before he turned to leave. James picked up his phone from the ground and gave his head a toss as he stalked back to work.

...

Miranda had heard through the gossip chain that Emily had broken up with Lee. She smiled to herself. The girl was finally coming to her senses. How many times did Miranda have to warn her that Lee was a bad distraction? She knew the man was no good. It was why she had him followed and discreetly gave the pictures to James to give to Emily. She knew James was still pining for Emily. Let him take the fall for breaking them up. She knew he would show Emily the pictures. She knew he wouldn't ask questions about where those photos came from, that he'd let on he was the hero for saving Emily from such a liar like Lee in hopes that Emily would be so grateful to him and get back with him. Miranda sniffed and went back to her work. Things could finally start to get back to normal around there.

...

The weeks went by, and Emily did her job while Andy did hers. Andy was slowly getting better, which Emily was relieved to see. She didn't want to lose her job for bringing Andy on board. Emily spent those weeks dodging James, who was trying too hard to get back with her after hearing she and Lee had split up, and acting civil at home with Lee as promised. Her diet was very poor, and Emily was working overtime to stay as thin as possible in order to continue getting approval at work. She knew Lee and Eric noticed, but she didn't care. It was her life, not theirs.

Then one night, Emily cracked. It was triggered by seeing Lee's bag by the door as he got ready to leave for his job. Emily had thought that maybe he'd quit since it was the main factor in their break up. It was a silly thought to have. What would it have changed?

"You're leaving," she said bluntly.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Right. Well, don't get blown up or something," she said, her tone full of anger.

"I'm very good at what I do, Em," Lee replied. "But thank you for the sentiment."

"You know, you went on about me caring too much about my job, yet you're doing the same thing," she accused.

"I'm not consumed by my work," Lee argued. "I am not my boss's slave, and I certainly don't let my job affect my physical health." He knew that came out wrong, and it took seconds for her to challenge it.

"Oh really?" Emily said sarcastically. "So you coming home with a knife wound in your leg wasn't an impact to your health? And what about getting shot at? I'm pretty sure that impacts your physical health." Emily had figured out that his big wound was from his job all those months ago, and she felt stupid for not recognizing that it was a knife wound to start with.

"I meant I'm not starving myself," Lee said back impatiently.

"I am not starving myself," Emily argued. They were standing in front of each other now.

"What did you eat today?" Lee challenged.

"It's none of your business..."

"So nothing then?"

"Why don't you just go and leave me alone," she snapped.

"Fine, I'll go. Maybe I'll die, and you'll never have to see me or be bothered by me again," Lee said angrily. The instant he said it, though, he regretted it. Emily looked as though she had been slapped. She turned away to hide her sudden tears, her hand over her mouth.

"Em, I didn't mean it," he said, reaching for her.

"How could you even say that?" she asked, dodging his hand.

"I'm sorry. It was stupid. I was just mad," Lee apologized.

"Do you know that I think about you dying all the time now because of your job?" Emily asked. "Ever since you told me?"

"I didn't," he answered. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you. It's...it's partly why I didn't tell you."

"If you walk out that door, I might not ever see you again," she went on. "Do you know how much that hurts me?"

Lee didn't know what to say. Of course he had worried about dying on her, but he never thought about what she would be thinking. Then again, this was his first job since he'd told her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, not knowing what else to tell her. He put his hand on her shoulder, and she didn't pull away this time. Emily kept thinking about this being potentially the last time she saw him. She suddenly didn't care that they were broken up. His hand was still on her shoulder, and it took no effort at all to close the gap and hug him tightly. When his arms encircled her tightly back, Emily realized how much she had missed him even though he was living in the same apartment.

"I'll be all right," he told her.

"Promise me," she said fiercely. Her forehead was resting against his cheek.

"I promise to try," he said. "I can't control things out of my hands."

Emily didn't really know what she was doing. Yes, she was angry that he hadn't told her about his job. Yes, she was worried he was going to leave her for someone else, but she also knew that Lee was good for her in so many ways. Tired of thinking and wondering and worrying, she made her decision. She felt his shock when she kissed him hard. Soon, though, his hand was on the back of her head, holding her closer to him as he kissed her back.

"I need you," she whispered after.

"Are you sure, Em?"

"Yes. I just want you," she replied. The weeks of longing came bursting forth, her fingers digging into his back. Lee knew full well he was supposed to be leaving now for work, but he also knew that if he left now, Emily would walk from him. So he stayed. In the end, he knew it was worth it.

...

Emily was tangled in Lee's arms when the pounding on the door started. She lurched awake, seeing that it was just after midnight. Had Eric forgotten his keys? Lee stirred beside her.

"Lee Christmas!" a voice shouted through the door. "I know you're in there!"

Lee was upright now and very alert.

"Shit," he said.

"I'm not afraid to break the door down!" the voice yelled.

"Who is that?" Emily asked, a little afraid.

"It's Barney," Lee answered, getting up and throwing his pants on, rushing to the door. Curious, Emily put her robe on and followed, hanging back a little.

"About time," Barney growled when Lee opened the door. Emily was taken aback at how hard this man looked. He was older, and definitely Italian, but his eyes had almost a steeliness to them.

"You didn't get my message?" Lee asked.

"What message?"

"It got lost in transit then," Lee said. Emily knew he had not left Barney a message of any kind because he had been very preoccupied with her.

"Okay, you've clearly had your fun, now it's time to go," Barney said.

"I'm not going," Lee told him.

"You're not going?" Barney repeated. Lee nodded. If he left now, he'd never know if this rekindling with Emily was real or if it was spur of the moment because she thought he might die.

"Like hell are you not going," Barney said. "I need you. We need you. We are a team, Christmas."

"Lee?" Emily said then. He turned to look at her. "It's okay. You should go."

"You're Emily?" Barney asked her. She nodded. He looked at Lee. "I love her already. She's smart. Get your shit, and let's go."

"Are you sure?" Lee asked her.

"Yes," she nodded.

"We are losing our window the longer you piss around," Barney told him.

"All right. I'm going," Lee said, hurrying back to Emily's room for the rest of his clothes. She went in after him and immediately went to hold him again.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. He was afraid that his leaving would change what was happening here.

"We can talk when you get back," she promised.

"Okay," he nodded. He kissed her one last time.

"CHRISTMAS! TODAY!" Barney bellowed.

"He seems very pleasant," Emily said sarcastically.

"Underneath all that assholeness, he's a good guy," Lee replied. He reluctantly released her then and went out for his bag, which he slung over his shoulder.

"Nice to meet you," Barney said to Emily as they went out the door. When they were gone, Emily discovered that she felt a little relieved knowing that a guy like Barney had Lee's back.

...

"Nice of you to join us," Toll joked as Lee boarded the plane. The others had been sitting there waiting for Barney to come back with Lee.

"Was she worth it?" Gunner asked.

"Excuse me?" Lee countered.

"I'm assuming you were with a woman," Gunner commented. Caesar was smirking while Yin pretended not to be listening. Toll was grinning himself and looking over his book through his glasses at Lee.

"It's none of your-" Lee started.

"Her name's Emily, and she's a great gal," Barney answered for Lee, cutting him off. He shoved his cigar into his mouth and sat down in his seat, turning the switches on and firing up the plane. Lee glared at him before sitting down across from him.

"I thought you two were broken up?" Barney questioned when they were up in the air.

"We were."

"So what changed?"

"I'm not too sure," Lee admitted.

"Backslide?" Barney asked, looking at him.

"I'd like to think not," Lee answered gruffly.

"Well, I don't know what else to say."

"Then don't say anything else," Lee instructed. He rested his head on his hand and thought about Emily and what had happened earlier that night. Had she meant to do it? Was it simply a moment of passion? Did she want to get back together? He wished they had more time to talk about it before he left. He tried not to worry about it anymore.

...

"You slept with him?" Serena asked in a hushed voice. They were at Emily's desk. Andy wasn't there yet, not surprisingly.

"I did," Emily nodded.

"I thought you were mad at him?"

"I was."

"Are you back together?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Serena challenged.

"We didn't talk about it."

"So this was like your last night of passion then," Serena commented.

"I don't know what it was," Emily huffed. She was regretting telling Serena now.

"Just be careful," Serena warned. "Don't forget about the reasons you broke up in the first place. They sometimes creep back up and tear it apart all over again. I'd love to see you two stay together, but I also don't want you to get hurt."

Before Emily could answer, Andy came dashing into the office. She just got her shoes off when Miranda stalked in, threw her coat down on Andy's desk, and barked out something about a reservation at the restaurant that got good reviews. Emily knew Miranda was being tough on Andy, and Emily was thankful that Miranda had not been quite so tough on her when she had started. Emily wondered what it was about Andy that made Miranda act much harsher.

"James keeps asking me about you, by the way," Serena said.

"Ugh. He's never going to give up, is he?"

"You gotta admit, it's kind of cute."

"It's really not." James's aggressiveness about them getting back together was greatly repulsing Emily. She wished he would stop.

"Two guys after you," Serena mused. "Life must be so tough."

"Get out," Emily ordered. Serena laughed as she clacked off in her shoes. Andy was looking at Emily with the expression that said she wanted to ask Emily about the two guys thing.

"What are you staring at?" Emily demanded.

"Nothing!"

"Good," Emily sniffed. She went back to her computer, but she couldn't help but think of Lee and wondered where he was. She also couldn't help but think about what they had done and whether or not it was a good idea to pursue their relationship.

…

Emily did a lot of thinking while she waited for Lee to come home, and when he did about a week later, she greeted him at the door as though she hadn't seen him in years.

"Ah," he winced as she hugged him tightly.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned. She pulled back to look at him.

"It's fine," he dismissed. Not buying it, Emily pulled up his shirt and exposed all the bruising on his torso. She felt sick suddenly. Lee stood there watching her to see how she would react.

"Who did this to you?" she asked, her voice almost in a whisper. She suddenly knew she couldn't handle this, seeing him like this and knowing he could have died.

"It doesn't matter," Lee shook his head.

"Because they're dead, right?"

"Yea," Lee nodded. He could see Emily processing this, and he knew she was struggling with it.

"Okay," she finally said.

"Em, it's all right if you can't do this," Lee said. It was devastating to him, but he couldn't force her to be with him if his job bothered her this much. He'd been thinking about it a lot while he was away. It wasn't fair of him to expect her to be able to cope with what he did.

"I just hate seeing you so hurt," she replied.

"I've had worse," he told her. Emily didn't want to know what worse looked like.

"I want to do this, but I don't know how to do this," Emily said. She searched his eyes for an answer, but she only found sadness.

"Then maybe it's for the best if we don't," Lee said softly. It broke his heart, but he wanted her to be happy, not tormented from worrying about him all the time.

"But every time I see you, I just want you," she said. She felt her world shattering again. "Can you quit?"

"Would you quit your job for me?" he countered. She knew he had her there.

"No," she shook her head.

"I can't either," he said quietly.

"I understand."

They stood there in silence, both of them feeling their hearts break at the impasse that was before them.

"I'll move out," Lee said after a while. "To make it easier."

"Where will you go?"

"New Orleans. Barney's been bugging me to move down there anyway."

"I'm going to miss you so much," Emily said, feeling the tears come then.

"I'll miss you too, but it'll get better," Lee promised. "We had a good run, huh? What is it that they say? It's better to have had and lost than to never have had at all?"

"I hate that saying," she said. She didn't correct him that the saying was with the word "love," not "had." Somehow it would hurt more.

"I'll always care about you, Em," he promised. Somehow this made her feel worse inside, but she knew better than to force something to work that wasn't going to work. Emily hugged him again but more gently this time, and he held her close while she cried. He knew his leaving was for the best, but it didn't stop the pain inside. He already knew that he probably would never get over her, not in a million years.

I know, I know, it's angsty, but please don't stop reading!