Author's Note: I know it's been a while (again) since I updated this one, and I'm really sorry about that! I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to get them out of this for a while, but eventually decided on this. Obviously, Jeller have a knack for running into villains that like to quiz their potential allies... First 2x19 (the polygraph/escape room episode) and now this... I'm hoping it doesn't come across as too easy a solution, but let me know what you think.

Kurt's cheek was stinging from the impact of Jane's palm against his cheek, but his relief at seeing her alive and well counterbalanced the pain. He wasn't too late to help her. Thank god.

He'd wanted to give her a distraction, so that maybe she could get the evidence they needed and get out before the traffickers noticed what she was up to. Evidently, Jane had decided that saving his ass was more important, and he couldn't deny things had been looking dicey for him before she'd shown up.

Now he just had to go along with Jane's ruse—however painful it was to pretend to be divorced from her—and maybe they could get out of here alive, and with the kids.

"Penny—" he started, before the guy in charge—Shapiro, Kurt remembered from the files—cut in.

"Shut up and wait until I tell you to speak. You trespass on my operation, you do things my way."

Kurt shut up and waited, while Shapiro looked suspiciously between him and Jane.

"Having him here endangers my entire business, Ms. Yates. He can't leave here alive unless I know he's trustworthy, and I can't trust you enough yet to just take you at your word. For all I know, the Feds have leaned on him to snoop around for evidence."

"Trust me, boss, he might be a grade-A asshole, but he'd never work for the Feds, and they wouldn't want him anyway. You want proof of that, just look at him. He got caught, didn't he?" Jane shrugged, shooting him a dismissive look. "Why would they send him to snoop around here, just to alert you that something was up and then get killed?"

Shapiro looked thoughtful, though his suspicious demeanour didn't lessen in intensity. "You raise a good point. So what is he doing here?"

"I came to see what my wife is doing. If she's cheating on me, I have the right to know." It was a little too close to the bone, given everything their marriage had been through of late, but at least he could sell the 'pained and distrustful husband' routine.

Jane flinched at his words, and he silently promised her he'd make it up to her as soon as they got out of this mess.

"I'm not your wife. We've been divorced for two years, and I've already told you a million times to leave me the fuck alone." He knew the words were just Jane playing her role, but was the tremble in her voice real? God, he hoped not.

"Are you sleeping with this guy?" Kurt demanded, nodding towards the guy in charge. "What about the rest of 'em?"

"Yeah, I came here for an orgy." Jane shot back sarcastically, and a couple of the guards nearby snickered.

"Then what are you doing here?" Kurt demanded.

"Uh, trying to make some money so I can get out of the debt you landed me in?"

Again, Kurt internally cringed at the mention of something that had been a problem in their non-fictional marriage. He'd been in the red when Roman had finally deigned to give him Jane's location, after travelling the world to try to find her. If not for the cash Jane had been making as a mercenary, their financial situation would have been dire for the next couple of years.

"Hold up, lovebirds. Let's not get too far into an argument before I've decided if I should kill you both or not."

Jane gasped. "You're kidding, right? Boss, you know how valuable I could be to you. I admit, I don't wanna be a nanny to the little brats, but if it's a choice between dying or babysitting, I'll choose the option that means I get to enjoy the cash, y'know?"

"And your husband?" the boss asked.

"Ex-husband," Jane said emphatically. "I, uh… Look, I don't love him anymore, and he's a royal pain in my ass, but I really don't want him dead. If he dies because of me, it'll be bad karma. What about…?" She hesitated, then snapped her fingers. "Delivery drivers! You must use specific drivers, right, who can keep their mouths shut? He can drive a truck. And if I know where he is, then I also know where he isn't, which is stalking my ass. Give him work trucking the cargo down to Arizona or Florida or something; the long haul stuff that keeps him away from me."

"I could do that," Kurt agreed hastily, playing dumb. "I mean, I dunno what the hell you're talking about, but if it means not being dead, I'll do it."

"Is he likely to have ethical issues with the cargo, Ms. Yates?"

Damn right I do. Kurt did his best to look clueless.

Jane snorted. "Nah. He'd sell his own grandmother so he could piss away the money down at the betting shop. Right, Mark?"

Ah, damn it.

"Mark?" The guard who'd grabbed him raised his weapon. "He said his name was Tom."

Jane tensed, almost imperceptibly. He doubted anyone else in the room was aware of the change in her.

"Yeah, like I was gonna give my real name to you guys, so you could go tell my wife I was here before I was ready for her to know it was me," he said, rolling his eyes at the guard.

"Ex-wife," Jane snapped, holding up her makeup-covered hand. "You see a ring on this finger?"

It was strange to see her hand without both her wedding ring and her tattoos. Sometimes Kurt really hated undercover missions.

"You're gonna take me back one day, Penny," Kurt said, putting on the overconfident air of certain deluded men he'd seen come through the interrogation room. "You wait and see."

"Hell will freeze over, jerk." Jane turned back to the guy in charge. "Just let him drive a shipment south, get him away from me. Just by doing that, he incriminates himself and he's bound to you. Isn't that how these things work?"

"You have it all figured out, huh?" Shapiro glanced at one of the others, who shrugged. Shapiro sighed and turned back to Jane. "I'm still not a hundred percent convinced he's not a cop, or working for cops. And if he is, it's likely you are, too."

"So how do we prove we're not?" Jane said.

Shapiro looked from Jane to Kurt and back again. "You say you were married? I'm gonna make you prove it. Go on back into the cafeteria, and I'm gonna ask him some questions. Then I'm gonna come through and ask you what he said. Your answers don't match? You're both dead."

Jane turned to look at Kurt, who did his best to look intimidated by her. She took a step toward him and raised a fist in a threatening gesture. "This is the highest-paying job it's possible for me to get, and I want it. And I'm trying to save your stalker ass right now, not that you deserve it. You screw this up for me, and I'll mutilate you in the afterlife, got it? Tell the goddamn truth and we might actually live through this."

She turned and stalked away before Kurt could reply, but he got her message loud and clear: answer the questions as if he were being asked about their real marriage, not this fake one.

If the questions were straightforward—no tricks or multiple possible answers—they could breeze through this test and maybe even get out of this whole thing alive. Kurt had to admit this guy was clever, though. The likelihood of them being law enforcement and actually married to each other was extremely low. Any other combination of agents would be screwed right now.

"Love you too, baby," he called after Jane's retreating back, and hoped like hell he'd be alive to say it to her face later on.

Jane paced the cafeteria, occasionally glaring at the guards preventing her from leaving the room. The cheese on the mouthful of pizza she'd eaten before Kurt's arrival was already making her feel uncomfortably queasy—or maybe she was just sickened at some of the things she and Kurt had said to each other before. She'd been using actual details from the FBI casefile about Yates' ex-husband, but she wished she could take it all back. Their actual marriage was still fragile, and the last thing she'd wanted was to rub salt in either of their wounds.

Shapiro entered after about fifteen minutes, holding a piece of paper. While Jane wished for x-ray vision, Shapiro leaned against the wall by the door.

"I really hope you get these questions right, Ms. Yates. For your sake. Why'd you marry him?"

Jane's eyes widened—that was a question with so many possible answers that she'd have no idea what Kurt had chosen to go with. But then Shapiro laughed.

"Oh, sorry—that's not a question I asked him. I was just curious. He's obviously got it bad for you, but you…I think you could do better."

"That's why I divorced him," Jane said tersely. "And then took out the restraining orders when he didn't get the message." You better not be working up to hitting on me, you creep.

"Okay, let's get this done. Maybe it'll all be over in a few minutes, and I'll have a new delivery driver to read in, and a nanny to send back on diaper duty." Shapiro glanced down at the paper he was holding. "Question one: when you were married, which side of the bed did Mark sleep on?"

"Standing at the bottom of the bed, looking at the headboard? The left." He always had, from the first night they'd spent together.

Shapiro nodded, but gave no sign that she'd answered correctly. "Question two: What was your first argument about?"

"After we first met, after we started dating, or after we got married?" Jane asked.

Shapiro raised an eyebrow. "He asked pretty much the same question. After you first met."

"Whether I should stay where I was, or whether I should leave with him." Jane suppressed a smile at the memory, feigning irritation instead.

He nodded again. "Question three: If he could only stop you from doing one thing, what would he choose?"

I hate this case so, so much. "Running away." She didn't have to feign the anger on her face, though it was at being forced to answer, not at Kurt's justified wish that she stop taking off on him.

And I bet Penny Yates's ex-husband would give the same answer about her, though for entirely different reasons.

"Question four: to your knowledge, has he ever had erectile dysfunction?"

Jane stared at Shapiro, genuinely stunned. "That's a little personal, isn't it?"

Shapiro shrugged. "It's something a married couple would find it easy to agree on, if their lives were at stake. Mark answered. What did he say?" When Jane was silent a moment longer, he added, "Or you could refuse to answer, but it seems a little silly dying for second-hand embarrassment, don't you think?"

Jane gritted her teeth. This guy deserves everything I'm gonna do to him. "No. We had our problems in the bedroom, but he could always get it up."

"Question five: Has he ever, to your knowledge, visited a prostitute?"

If there was one thing Kurt had never had a problem with before they'd gotten together, it was encountering women more than happy to sleep with him. Jane fought the urge to laugh, reminding herself that Penny hated her ex. "Not to my knowledge, no. And I doubt he'd waste cash on hookers that he could use to gamble with instead."

Shapiro studied his piece of paper, but didn't react. "Question six: When is his birthday?"

"May eleventh." She barely even had to think.

"Question seven: When is your anniversary?"

Again, an easy answer. "September fourth."

"Question eight: to your ex-husband's knowledge, have you ever had an abortion?"

"No," Jane said, sighing. "How many questions are there?"

Shapiro smirked. "Just twelve more. We have to be thorough enough to make sure you don't answer the same through luck, and knowledge of each other as cops. I'm sure you understand."

Jane swallowed a groan. "Sure. Please continue."

"Question nine: to your ex-husband's knowledge, had you ever cheated on him while you were legally married?"

I'm so sorry, Kurt. Having to answer this must have hurt. "Yes."

"Hmm. Question ten: to your knowledge, has your husband ever cheated on you?"

Rub it in, why don't you? "No," Jane said, and added for the benefit of their roles in this mission, "he's too obsessed."

"Question eleven…"

And so it went on, for ten more invasive questions. Luckily, none were designed to be ambiguous—Shapiro really was just checking they'd been married. If he'd just wanted an excuse to kill them, he'd have made it much more difficult.

After the twentieth question, her 'boss' smiled and approached her. "Congratulations, Ms. Yates. You and your husband passed."

"Ex-husband," Jane corrected, scowling. "Now please, tell me you can put him on a delivery schedule and give me a copy, so I know when he's not in town. It'll make it so much easier to arrange dates with guys on Tinder. Do you know how many times he's barged in when I've been trying to hook up with a guy?"

"I'll, uh, see what I can do."

"Have you told him yet?" Jane asked. "What his cargo will be?"

"I mentioned it, yes."

"How'd he take it?" She held her breath, hoping he'd managed to sell his reaction to Shapiro.

"Understandably surprised, at first, but then he asked how much he'd be paid, and we negotiated a little. I think the money will be enough to keep him quiet."

"He's not getting paid more than me, right?" Jane forced herself to keep in character as Penny Yates, though she wanted to melt with relief. "Because I'm gonna literally be cleaning up these kids' shit, and you're gonna get more for each kid because I'm taking care of 'em. He's just driving a truck."

Shapiro snorted. "Don't worry, Ms. Yates. Our agreement stands, though because of the inconvenience tonight, I think you can do the first couple of months at the rate we initially agreed on."

"But you said you'd pay double—" Jane protested.

"That was before your husband decided to make a nuisance of himself. Yes, yes, I know—ex-husband."

Jane muttered obscenities under her breath, but forced a smile. "Given that the alternative is probably that you'll just kill me, I guess that's fair."

"I believe in rewarding my loyal employees. Do your job well, and you'll get a pay rise in due course."

Jane nodded. "Good to hear. So now what?"

"Mark is waiting to hear if you passed the test. After that, we'll be introducing him to our processes, and keeping him here at least one more night, the same as you. I'm afraid you'll be sleeping in the same room. We don't have any more spare rooms with doors that lock." Shapiro reached for the cafeteria door handle.

"Oh, come on, boss," Jane complained, masking the relief she felt that she and Kurt would be able to get some time alone, to strategise a way out of this mess.

"Just think of the money, Ms. Yates. I'm sure you can suffer one night in the same room. You used to share a bed, after all." Shapiro pulled open the door. "Now, I assume the merchandise needs diaper changes. Let whoever's closest to the cage know if you require anything else. Within reason, of course."

"Understood, boss," Jane said quietly. There was no sense in fighting too hard to be separated from Kurt—if she got what she wanted, she'd be shooting herself in the foot.

With no excuse to linger, she headed back towards the elevator. It might be a few hours until she saw Kurt again, depending on what Shapiro had him doing, but at least they would both be safe—for now.