"Lola will take you to your appointment later." He tells her as he buttons up his shirt and she watches from her cocoon of blankets. She hasn't thrown up since that night at his mother's, which he still doesn't even know about, that was two days ago. She's been incredibly tired since and maybe that's what has him worried. Francis frowns when she doesn't respond and then he's sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching for her.

"I'm fine." She groans and he pulls his hand back, "I don't need a doctor."

"They just want to check on you."

"They want to prod me with needles."

"Mary-"
"I hate it."

"I-"

"Doctors are stupid."

"Tell that to their six years of med school." He says dryly.

"I will." She groans as she turns her face in her pillow, "Not my fault they spent thousands of dollars on a piece of paper that deems them qualified to stick me with needles."

"Deems them qualified to save dozens of lives, but hey, what do I know?"

"I don't want to go."

"Too bad."

"Nooooo-"

"Yeeeessss." He mimics her whine and she's hit with a wave of deja-vu. She sighs heavily in her pillow. She can't not go and she does want to see Lola. And Kenna, and Greer. "It'll be fine. You've been acting strange."

"Don't you have a thing to go do?" She snaps, she doesn't mean to snap but snap she does. He gets up with a sigh.

"I have something for you." He says suddenly, "But you have to sit up."

"Make me."

"Fine, I guess you don't want your present." She can hear the pout and she rolls her eyes before flopping over and sitting up with a scowl.

"I have risen."

"I see that." He smiles and then he's going somewhere else, disappears out of the room and she's left sitting in bed staring at where he used to be standing. He doesn't come back for a little while and she hears the opening and closing of a drawer and then he's back. "I forgot where I put it for a second." He tells her before he tosses it at her. It lands in her lap, something a little heavy, rectangular. She squints at it. "It's called a phone," he says slowly.

"I know what it is."

"It's like your old one, all the contacts were transferred over, it's the same number as your old one, the only thing you need to do is use it."

"Thank you." She says softly.

"So the next time you decide to go soul searching and get lost, call me."

"I got it." She mutters with a small frown. The frown makes him frown too and then he's back to sitting on the edge of the bed with a worried expression, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I don't feel well."

"Hence the appointment." He smirks as he leans in to kiss her, "I have to go wake up James and then we'll be out of here. Tell me how it goes, okay?"

"Okay." He leaves the room after that and she lies back down to take a nap, it isn't a long one but by the time she rouses herself from sleep, she feels worse and Francis is gone. She groans at the vibrating on the nightstand. Ah, yes, she has a working phone now.

Lola: "Francis told me your number works now."

Lola: "I'll be over in about an hour." She frowns, so she only has an hour to get ready. Francis could have at least provided her with the time. She stretches and gets out of bed, the first thing on her list is a shower, so she takes a quick one. She tries to ignore the dizziness, slight nausea, she can't tell if it's coming from whatever bug this is, or if she's just hungry but once she's dressed and forcing a granola bar down her throat; Lola is at the door.

"Stop. Knocking." She croaks as she opens it.

"Sorry." Lola smiles a small smile and then she's hugging her, tight. "Oh, how are you?" She asks as she pulls away and Mary shrugs. She's tired, like really tired, her body feels like it's being weighed down and her limbs are heavy.

"I want to get this over with."

"Well, then get your coat."

They go to the same place Francis took her before, but Lola is a lot more talkative than Francis was. It's nice to talk to her, to see her, to know her friends still exist considering she hasn't seen them since she left the hospital.

"Kenna has been itching to see you, do you want to stop by before I take you home?" She asks.

"Can we see Greer too?" She asks, Lola nods as she turns into the parking lot.

"They'll be happy to see you."

"Me too." Mary sighs and she smiles. She almost asks about seeing Aylee, but then she remembers that Aylee isn't alive and the sad realization settles in her stomach. Right, Aylee died, she died years ago but Mary doesn't remember.

"How did…" She starts and stops, "How did Aylee die?" Lola pauses as she opens her car door to step out and she sighs.

"Uh. She was sick." Lola explains, "It just came out of nowhere and she went to bed one day and didn't wake up."

"Oh."

"She went peacefully." Lola says softly, "No pain."

"Right."

"I can show you her grave if you want."

"Yeah." She nods quickly, it'll make it more real if she were to see it. "And my moms?" The thought didn't even occur to her to ask Francis to take her before. She knew they were dead, but now, she'd like to visit them and maybe put flowers down.

Inside the exam room, she sits on the table like she did so many weeks before, bored out of her mind and waiting for her blood test to come back. Her doctor didn't make much conversation, he seemed busy and a little annoyed that she came in. She tries not to take it personally, if it had been up to her, she wouldn't be here at all. It's probably just a cold, something she got from running around in the cold for hours and then sitting in wet clothes after that.

"You and Francis are good?" Lola asks as she flips through a magazine.

"Yup."

"That's good." She says, "I have a date tomorrow."

"Oh, with who?"

"Some guy named Julian." She sighs heavily, "And he seems nice but my mom found him and she wants me to try."

"Maybe it'll be fun."

"Maybe." Lola runs her hand through her brown hair, "They're taking a long time." She says softly and she's trying not to sound worried but it only makes Mary's stomach twist more. She's about to air her concern that it might be cancer, or something equally as bad when the door opens.

"Okay, sorry that took so long." The doctor says as he closes the door, "Let's just get straight to the point."

"Okay…" Lola stands, coming next to her to link her arm with her friends. "Am I dying?"

"No, you're pregnant."

-/-

"What exactly are you doing?" Francis sounds tired and annoyed upon flicking on the kitchen light to find his wife on the counter and all of the cabinets are wide open.

"I want chips." She tells him as though that'll explain the ungodly mess she's making at this ungodly hour. "But I can't find any."

"Uh-huh."

"Something salty, or tangy, I don't know; crunchy." She's saying as she sifts through boxes of food and cans, cups and plates.

"Mary-"

"No." She knows he's going to tell her to get down, to come back to bed, but she can't. Her body wants chips, salty, savory, good old fashioned potato chips. They don't have any, of course, they don't; they never have that stuff. "This is your fault."

"Mine?"

"You got the groceries, you're the one who won't buy junk food ever."

"Because it's junk. It's in the name."

"I'm going to die." She whines loudly, obnoxiously, she doesn't even care if he glares at her. She knows what she wants, she knows what the baby wants, and they don't have it. They never have it and now she's going to die and it's all his fault.

"Come back to bed." He sighs and when she gives him another firm no, he's heading for her.

"Noooo!" It's a shriek, and a desperate attempt to hold onto the cabinet door before he's plucking her off the counter with ease. He keeps hold of her, bless him, despite the thrashing that he seems way too tired to be dealing with at three in the morning.

"Stop it." He says that sternly as he sets her back on the floor, "There was nothing in that cabinet ten minutes ago, there will be nothing if you look again."

"THE PANTRY!" She shouts excitedly, "You're a genius." She smiles as she kisses his cheek and off she goes, there's nothing. Her excitement does bitterly.

"I will get you some tomorrow." He says, "Well, later."

"I want them now."

"Mary-"

"The baby wants them." She begs, "You wouldn't deny our child-"

"I am not getting dressed in the middle of the night and hunting for a store, if there is one that's open, to get you something that's not good for you."

"I-"

"No." That's a snap and she shouldn't take it so personally, it is late, and he is tired, and he's been working so hard. And she's being annoying, but she's also hormonal. So, he should have predicted the lip quivering and flooding eyes. "Oh. No, Mary-"

"You're so meaann." She cries and it's stupid, it's childish, she knows. She won't be able to sleep until she has them and he knows that too. She's vigorously at her eyes as the tears slip out and slide down her face, "I can't help it." She adds and she watches his stern, exasperated expression melt into utter defeat. He pinches the bridge of his nose before pulling her to him and running a soothing hand down her back.

"I know, I'm sorry." He whispers and shushes her some and when she's calmer, he pulls back to wipe the tears away with his thumb. "What kind?"

"I want to come with you."

"You're going to cry if I say no."

"Probably." There's a small pause as they stare at each other and then his face cracks in a smile.

"I love you, psycho, go get your shoes."

-/-

There are several different types of shock, cardiogenic shock, hypovolemic shock, obstructive shock, distributive shock. She's sure she's experiencing one of those. Her head is light, but it was light when she got here, her hands are sweaty, her ears are ringing, and for the love of all things; she cannot stop laughing. Lola is concerned, as anyone would be, but the doctor just stands there while she gets it all out and after a good minute, the hysterics die down to a giggle.

"Sorry." She giggles, "That's just...uh well, ridiculous."

"I see we weren't trying." He says dryly as he flips through her chart, "You are pretty far, I'm surprised you didn't know. But I suppose with the accident, all the trauma, medications, you may not have even noticed the symptoms."

"I didn't notice because I'm not pregnant." She laughs softly, Lola straightens next to her.

"Are you sexually active?"

"Not...No."

"Were you before the accident?" She looks at Lola and she nods quickly.
"Apparently." She chokes.

"Then you're pregnant." He says that quite seriously despite Mary's denial by way of giggling.

"You're funny, you're a funny guy, what's wrong with me?"

"Congratulations, Ms. Stuart, go home and get some rest."

"No." She says quickly.

"Blood doesn't lie, you're welcome to go home and take a pregnancy test if you want but it's going to come back positive." That's the last thing he says before he leaves; the door clicking shut softly. Lola let's loose the breath she must have been holding the whole time.

"Oooohh my god." She breathes, "Oh my god, Mary-"

"No."

"Mary-" She jumps down from the table, she's just trying to wrap her head around it. There's a baby in her and she doesn't remember how it got there. She shakes her head.

"No. Nope." She runs her hands through her hair, "I can't…"

"Okay, you're freaking out, I can freak out too." Lola's excited face switches to something more akin to worry as she reaches for her friend, "Okay, here's what we're going to do." They make a plan, Lola takes her to a few stores and they buy way too many tests.

She's going to take them until she isn't in denial any more.

"You have to watch for Francis!" She shouts from the bathroom.

"Will do, you just...do...what you gotta do."

"Okay."

"Yup."

"How do I-"

"You've done this before," Lola tells her through the door.

"Scrambled. Egg. Brain." She snapped as she stares at the boxes on the bathroom counter, they bought twelve. Which is way too many, but she only does it until it's glaringly obvious that the doctor wasn't full of shit. The instructions are pretty self-explanatory and soon, both her and Lola are staring at a positive result.

"Did he say how far-"

"Eleven, twelve weeks." She says softly, at least Lola heard him. She was too busy freaking out. She shrugs, "Around there."

"So I've been...with child for a while."

"Seems like it, you really didn't know?" She asks and Mary shakes her head quickly before stepping away. "It's not so bad."

"I just…" She didn't know. She didn't know and this whole time she's been… "I don't remember the last time we-"

"I know."

"And I…"

"It had to be...right before." Lola says softly, "You could ask him?" She shakes her head again, how would she explain her need to know? God, how is she going to tell him? He doesn't want another one, he told her that. It was something they both decided, James was it.

James was it until he isn't.

She doesn't remember that conversation, she doesn't remember deciding, but she trusts Francis enough to know he wouldn't lie about it. James was sick and they decided they'd never have another.

"I can't be pregnant."

"Mary-"

"I can't…" She shakes her head again. "There has to be another explanation."

"Look." Lola grabs the test off the counter and holds it up for her, "Two lines, two very prominent lines."

"I see that."

"I know this is a lot, all of this has been a lot, but don't freak out until you talk to him." She says softly, "Besides, you make cute babies."

"He doesn't want another one."

-/-

"Franciiisss." She calls for him from the bed, "I need your brain." She can hear the shower running and she just spent the last hour reading about pregnancy. When he doesn't answer she throws the blankets back and pads to the bathroom. It's barely light out and she only woke up because his alarm was too loud, and now he's not answering her.

"Francis." She pulls the shower door open, squinting at the steam and he moves his hair out of his face and wipes the excess water from his features before looking at her.

"Yes?"

"What's this word?" She asks as she holds up her phone and he almost objects to it but he realizes that's not going to get her to go away, so he just reaches. "Don't get my phone wet."

"I can't see it."

"Come closer, dummy."

"I'm sorry, whose brain did you need?" He asks with a scoff, but he comes closer with a roll of his eyes and squints at the article she was reading. "Amniocentesis."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know." He says as he steps back under the spray and she frowns. "You gonna close that ooorr-"

"What if I tear?" She asks, "I hear a lot about people tearing when they give birth."

"It's common."

"And painful. I don't want to do that."

"Mary, you're still in the first trimester, it'll be a while before you have to worry about that."

"We should get a crib soon." She says suddenly and he looks like he's ready to ram his head into the wall. "And then we'll be prepared and we won't have to worry about it."

"Mary-"

"Did you want to tell your parents or am I doing that? I was thinking because it'll be around Christmas we could wrap a baby blanket for them and make them open it."

"Cute."

"I know."

"Mary-"
"What?" He doesn't say anything, he just takes her phone and tosses it on the pile of clothes by the shower and then before she can say anything, he has one arm around her waist and the other pressed against the wall for support. He pulls her in and closes the door.

"FRANCIS!" She's shrieking, pushing against him when he carries her directly under the showerhead. "No! No! Pleeeaaassseee!"

"What? I can't hear you over the water." He laughs and she squeaks when she almost falls over, she giggles too.

"Frannnccciiiss, my clothes." She whines as she grabs his shoulders for support, to keep herself from falling on her ass. She's soaked now, she probably looks like a wet rat, he just smiles as he reaches to pull her hair down from the bun she had it in.

"Maybe you should take them off." He suggests before moving down to her lips.

-/-

She doesn't know how to tell him, she watches him do things around the house and she can't get the words out. She watches him help James with his homework at the table, watches him cook, she helps him with the dishes, and then she watches him read with James before bed. All the little moments in between, she could have told him, just blurted it out. She doesn't, she just sits and watches him.

"Oh, how did your appointment go today?" Francis asks as he puts the books James left out back in the boys' backpack.

"Fine." She says quickly

"Fine?"

"Mhm."

"Did they figure out what's wrong?" He asks, "It's not your head?" He seems worried, bless him, she shakes her head.

"It's just a bug." She tells him, "It'll go away…" In nine months. No, technically seven. He doesn't say anything, he just nods.

"Just rest, okay? Until you feel better." He smiles a small smile at her as he zips up the backpack and carries it to its place by the stairs.

"Francis."

"Yes?" He turns around to look at her.

"Uh…" She fidgets with her rings, twisting them around her fingers and he gives her a questioning look, one golden brow arching as he takes her in. "I have...I have a question."

"Okay." He's looking at her funny, like she's gone a little nuts, but he walks to the kitchen again, where he set the leftovers on the counter in Tupperware containers. He starts putting them in the fridge and stops her when she tries to help, "You should be resting." He tells her, "Ask your question and then off to bed." That's the thing, she doesn't know how to ask it. She can't even think about the other night before his mother called without turning into a blushing, incoherent, mess.

"You love me?"

"Yes." He's still looking at her strangely and she shifts on her feet, "Was that your question?"

"No."

"The suspense is killing me."

"When...was the last time we did it?"

"Did what?" He asks, squinting at her before getting a cup out of the cabinet and filling it with some water.

"You know...it."

"I really d-"
"Sex." She says quickly, not looking at him as she throws the word at him. He doesn't answer and she can feel him looking at her. She swallows.

"Why?"

"I just...I just want to know." She stammers, "And I'm your wife...so I should…"

"Right…" He says softly, "Okay...do you want a date?"

"How...soon before the accident?" She asks, she still can't look at him as she tugs at her sleeve. It's another one of his sweaters, a red one.

"Two, three days before." He says after a while and she nods, so they made a baby three days before. No wonder it wasn't caught, it's not even detectable until after a missed period and she didn't even know she missed them, and if Francis did notice he probably thought the medication she was on threw her off her regular cycle.

"Ah." She says softly, "It's been a while for you then…"

"I...guess."

"Sorry." She says softly, she doesn't know what to do now, "Um-"

"Mary."

"Hm?"

"I can wait." He tells her, maybe that's what he thinks this is. Maybe he thinks she's feeling bad about how long it's been.

"I know…" She nods, "I just…"

"Go to bed, I'll be up soon." He gives her a reassuring smile before he crosses the room to her and kisses her cheek.

-/-

"Mary, I got us a hotel room, it isn't far from the hospital-"

"No." She says, her voice is hoarse and her throat feels raw, she doesn't look at Francis, she keeps her eyes on her baby.

"Mary, you need-"
"I need to stay with him." She snaps it harshly and she doesn't move to fix it. "You can do to the hotel if you want, but I'm staying here." He's so sick, so so sick and she needs to stay next to him in case he wakes up and he needs her. His skin is an ashy grey and his chest rises and falls in slow and shallow breathing. It's been two days, almost three, or has it been three already? She doesn't know and he hasn't gotten any better and the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with him, he might not get better.

"I have to stay with him."

"My love." Francis is trying to reach for her but she jerks away, "Please-"

"He needs me!" She shouts and then quickly turns back to her baby, he doesn't stir or wake, whereas just a week before he'd cry at the sound of a pen hitting the floor.

"Okay." He says softly, "Okay, we'll stay." She eases herself in the small chair by the crib and reaches for James' hand. She's trying not to be angry with Francis, she doesn't know why she even is angry with him. Everything he says is making her blood boil.

"I didn't...mean to shout…"

"I know." He says and he leans down to press a kiss to her hair, "You need sleep."

"I'm not tired."

"You think you're not but wait until you crawl into a nice warm bed-"

"Stop trying to make me leave him." She snaps, "I'm not leaving him, he's my son."

"I'm not trying to make you do anything, Mary, but you need to take care of yourself too."

"He's mine!" She shouts again, this time Francis steps back. The door is closed, so she can shout as much as she wants. "I'm not going anywhere unless he comes with me." Francis doesn't say anything but he looks like he wants to.

"What, Francis?" She asks, she's tired and stressed and worried and maybe that's what's making her act the way she's acting right now. But he doesn't deserve it and she knows he doesn't.

"He's my son too." He says.

"I know."

"Really? Because it doesn't seem like you do."

"What do you want me to say, Francis?" She asks with a sigh, "I don't want to leave him alone and you do."

"What?!" He shouts, "Are you kidding me?"

"You keep trying to get me to leave him! You tried it yesterday with your sister and you're trying it now!"
"What I want is for you to have a nice warm place to sleep, sorry for trying to take care of you!" They're both shouting at each other now, but James, James sleeps and he doesn't wake no matter how loud they get. She's standing now. "Instead you want to sleep on these plastic chairs, fine! But don't pass out on me, I can't have both my wife and child lying in a hospital bed!"

"Why don't you just go sleep in your office."

"Excuse me?"

"I bet you're itching to get back to work!"

"How long have you been waiting to throw that at me!?" They keep yelling and yelling and she's shocked and surprised that no one has knocked on the door yet, they aren't the only patients on this floor.

"You didn't even want a baby!" She screams that and everything just stops and now he's just looking at her and she's looking at him. It's true, he didn't. Not at the same time she did and they fought over it more than one time, he wanted their life to be more stable, to be more secure but she just kept… "But I begged...and I begged, until finally…"

"Mary…"

"I did this." She says softly, and she doesn't care if it makes sense but to her, it feels like the universe is trying to tell her Francis was right and they should have waited. "I can't leave him."

"This isn't your fault." He tells her, "It's not…" He's taking her in his arms, he's stroking her hair and she finally just cries and when she's done, he pulls back. "Let's go...we'll come back first thing in the morning, I promise." She's already shaking her head. "You need sleep-"
"What if he dies while I'm gone?" She asks, "What if he dies and I'm not with him?" It's a very real possibility, one they have to acknowledge and Francis doesn't bring up the hotel again, he just holds her.

-/-

She finds his office easily, it's really not that difficult since his name is on the door. It's been two days since she found out and she's finally ready to tell him. It's empty when she goes in and she frowns. She hopes he comes back soon. While she waits she flips through some of the books on his shelf, looks at the pictures on his desk and admires the view from the window. He said something about having court all day today, so maybe coming here was a bad idea.
She doesn't mean to fall asleep on the small leather couch but she does and she wakes to a dark office and someone's suit jacket draped over her body.

"Thank you," Francis whispers as he takes whatever the man in front of his desk is giving him. They tell him he did a good job today and something about finally getting the bastard and then he leaves and Mary stretches and groans from her place on the couch.

"You're awake." He says from his desk.

"Yeah." She says softly, voice groggy from her long nap and she sits up with a yawn.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Good, how did you get here?"

"Lola." She called Lola in hysterics because she wanted to tell him but she didn't want to wait until he came home, so her friend graciously offered to bring her to his office so that she could tell him. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I like it when you visit me." He smiles a small smile, "James is with Kenna and Bash, they're going to drop him off here so we can take him home together."

"Oh...James." She didn't think this through, she completely forgot she needed to be back by a set time so she could be home to get James. She hopes he didn't come home to an empty house.

"Bash was supposed to pick him up and take him to his house today, don't worry."

"Oh."

"It was a plan long in the making." He says as he shuffles some papers, "Bash likes to take him to his shop since James likes to help him with the cars." He explains, still, she should have been home. She stands up and crosses the room to him.

"Uh...how was court?"

"Messy." He sighs, "As it always is with homicide trials."

"Did...did you win?"

"It's not over yet." He says, "But I think so, the evidence is strong." He's reaching for her now, holding her fingers loosely in his. He looks like he's the one who could use a nap.

"Francis." She says softly, "Can I talk to you?"

"Always." She nods as she takes a seat in front of his desk. "What is it?"

"When you said that we...agreed not to have any more kids, did we mean ever?" He doesn't answer right away, he seems to be thinking back, but he nods eventually and her stomach twists.

"Maybe not ever, but I can't see my mind changing on it."

"And mine?"

"You don't remember." He says softly, "I can't tell you what to feel."

"So, if I wanted another, you would say no."

"I would advise against it." He says honestly, "Mary, I love James and I would love to have a million more with you, but not if there's a possibility that they could get sick and die."

"James could fall down the stairs and bust his head open tomorrow, Aylee died in her sleep, things happen Francis-"

"Why are we even talking about this-"

"Because I'm pregnant." It flies out of her mouth before she can stop it, and she regrets it as soon as it does. This isn't how she wanted to tell him, she looks down at her hands, "The doctor said...we must have conceived right before the accident."

"That's why you asked me that weird question the other night."

"Yeah." She says softly. "I know you don't want it, I know. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." Her voice is barely above a whisper and she doesn't even notice him getting up.

"Mary, I'm so sorry." He says softly, "Get up." She does, but she doesn't look at him. She doesn't look at him until he makes her look at him. "I love you and I love James and I'm going to love this baby."

"Francis-"
"But I'm scared." She is too. She doesn't remember being pregnant the first time, she doesn't remember James being sick, she doesn't remember giving birth to him. She doesn't want this one to get sick too, she doesn't want to open her heart to something and have it be ripped away.

"You don't want another one."

"That's too bad because we're having another one."

"But you don't want it."

"I do." He says that so softly she barely hears it but she smiles a small smile, she wants it too.

A/N: I hope everyone has a happy holiday. I'll see you in 20/20!