The Waifu Collector

by Kohoi

Jaune Arc respects women, that's why he avoids both them and society. Yucky. However, when a spirit inside his head commands him to atomize the female gender, sanity forces obligation.

15. Jaune D'Arc Vs Ozpin

Silence reigned in the Headmaster's presence, whether it was the way he walked, or the death glare Goodwitch-

Ruby hissed, and sighed: yeah, that's definitely a thing, and more. Also, Weiss was pretty quiet now too.

Her bestie, slumped against an equally chilled out Nora on the seat over, though said bubble Valkyrie pretty much in complete inner peace compared to the emotional Ice Queen. There was conflict there, and before Ruby really got into the gossip of the area-and the way Jaune looked, as in, fucking imposing and super cool in her opinion-Ruby watched her friends and teammates watch everyone else.

They've all came together in the time it took Jaune to walk off and come back with his mortal enemy. Their mortal enemy, technically speaking, since they're Jaune's followers of foreskins and boats and all that jazz. Ruby didn't care, she's more interested in the tushie grabby grab, and that look, and-

Nope! She'll worry about her lewd fantasies later, when she loses all the confidence she has in her mind and basically hands the means of reproduction off to her lover. Becuase holy frick-fuck Ruby is a small bean and cannot see herself dominating that, him, or anything blonde starting with a j.

Yang was on her left, and Weiss was on the other side of the table with Velvet and Nora. Ruby still had not a single clue as to why Weiss looked like she could cry in seven point eighteen seconds, but Ruby had some suspicions that it had to do with facts and logic.

And Jaune, mostly Jaune.

She can still feel the rubooty smack and it made her wanna-

Yang. She touched her, and was frowning. Ruby knew what's the dealio, but didn't enjoy the verbal dumpster fire about to be expressed. "Ruby, you ignored us and Weiss for your boytoy."

"Our leader, and soon to be Headmaster."

"He's just a guy, that we follow since we apparently work better with him around." Yang flickered her hair, regarding the Schnee the table side over-who was getting based faunus bunny mommy pats from Velvet-with something Ruby would say was 'adamant sympathy.'

Or unbased boomerism. Eheheh. Jaune has nice buzzwords. Sucks that he thinks she's being radicalized by him or something, but she's fine! Really! She isn't a political radical.

"That's it?" Ruby raised a brow, pouting. "That's all he is to you? Does the time spent with him mean nothing? Have you seen him be super badass? I think you're just negative!"

Yang sighed, rubbing a hand in her reddish locks. Much like when they were younger and not subverting old people to establish a new hierarchy. It felt good, and Ruby immediately relaxed at it, as Yang was doing the positive sister stuff right now and she liked it. "I might be very critical of him, sis, but you should've seen the way he dismissed Weiss, it was..."

Pyrrha butted in, surprisingly on Ruby's side, conversationally or otherwise. "Needed. Jaune cannot complete his goals when unruly brats are demaining our other members."

"Easy for you to say, Invincible Girl." Yang spat back, frowning. "But Weiss would have definitely been put down sooner or easier, because Ruby let me tell you-it was like watching one of those harem animes where-"

Weiss glanced over, and they all stopped, seeing the anger in her eyes. The non self righteous kind, where Weiss actually has something important to say. It made Ruby try to smile and soothe her poor bestie's nerves.

Ruby on ideology alone cannot say bad stuff about Jaune, but she can comfort Weiss is she's unhappy. "Bestie! You okay? Yang is saying Jaune bullied you-"

Blake slide on in, antagonistic and picture perfect in Ruby's mind as the evil cat lady down the block. Or, on the other end of the table one moment, then down here the next. She's also young and a cat, and was over Weiss's shoulder-just like how Weiss was at the docks-and smirked. The heiress herself didn't do much, she was super absent looking. It's giving Ruby anxiety, why is her friend looking like a beaten housewife?

"On one hand," Blake looked at her nails, thoughtful. "I sympathize with your struggle against the patriarchy, Weiss. However..."

She leaned in, hanging off Weiss's shoulder and tapping it. Even Yang hissed at the blatant condescending cattiness. Ruby knew it since day one though...Blake was basically an oppressor in her own right: to Gamers, and non-progressives.

That's what Jaune called them, and then told Ruby not to worry about it. That's, eh, not going well though, since it seems pretty relevant to the unhappy bestie of hers getting spitroasted by cat woman. "You were equal parts derogatory towards faunus, so I'll have to give Jaune a pass for manhandling you this time."

Weiss pushed her off, whirling back and glaring. "I am not going to keep vicitimizing myself! I am just conflicted!"

Blake hissed, less so leaning into the vulnerable heiress and more body meshed to both her and the table. Ruby wasn't the only one looking at their resident Cat Faunus with concern. Or unhappiness. "With your oppression? Did you see the way he grabbed your chin? Absolutely criminal!"

"Yet you were smirking, Belladonna!" Weiss was really making Ruby anxious now, Yang too, who was absently scooting closer to her and held her hand. It was an old sister thing they did, and Ruby was glad she spontaneously decided to do that while Blake was insisting Ruby's boyfriend was an abusive husband in the making.

Not anything stressful or annoying, nope! Ruby was fine, so she held her sister's hand tight and enjoyed the show. "Everyone could attest to the fact that you didn't do anything to help me."

"No one did, we're all at fault here." Yang added, grumbling. "He's just very..."

Velvet hummed, stroking Weiss other shoulder and pointedly telling their smirking cat girl to sit. Who hissed, but when under bunny mommy's glare, listened immediately. She then turned to them, and tapped her chin. "Jaune is very provocative. I don't know if what you're saying is true, Blake, but..."

Pyrrha cut in, as annoyed as her. Sisterhood gang. "Weiss was obviously being haughty." She looked right at her bestie too, no remorse. "She should learn to cooperate next time and stop causing purposeful disorder. Nora?"

"-oh!...um, yeah?" Nora was in her own little world, which is pretty, eh, hashtag relatable.

Then again, Yang would use that more then her, since she's kinda been expanding her vocabulary and stuff. Also memes, and politics. Sorry Jaune.

"What do you think?" Pyrrha leaned on the table, looked up, and back at them all in stern spartan discipline. "Actually, how about we all say our peace on our leader, and make sure we come to an agreement."

They all nodded to that, but Ruby wanted to say her peace, strongly. Like her boyfriend taught her. She pushed Yang's hands away, and leaned on the table, frowning. Not pouting, not this time.

If Jaune will seize the means of her reproduction tonight, then she'll seize the memes of her friend's reproduction right fuckin' now!

Ehehehe. Ruby liked using Jaune's dirty words, super liberating! "Everyone? Can I eh, grab your attention please?"

They were already staring at her, and for once? They were serious! Ruby liked that a lot. "Let's not do our girly gossip please? It's dividing us up 'n stuff."

Blake raised a brow. "And not Jaune's daddy-control-complex in the works?"

Collectively, they saw Weiss shutter, and in Ruby's personal horror, saw her bestie's face equal parts romantically flustered and disturbed. Something was up with her.

Still, Ruby coughed, and adamantly continued to address her lover's people. "Whatever he's done, there's no way it was intended to divide, since it made us all be here! Talking and stuff. If he's a controlling person, then it's kinda weird to notice it only now and be mad."

"People can reveal their true characters later down the road." Blake added, unhelpfully. "And as I said, Jaune might be blooming into a position of drunkenness on power. He's not an incel anymore, Ruby. We can both agree on that now."

Eh? Ruby didn't like the buzzword, and neither did Nora or Pyrrha. "What's my boyfriend now then, Blake?" Once again, some hesitation at the fact Ruby said the magic evil word, only from her own team of course. The silent and attentive gang of Velvet, Pyrrha, and Nora didn't react in any negative way, or just gave her a small smile and left it at that. Ruby liked that a lot, and continued. "Is he some Joe Schmo kinda guy? Irrelevant and undeservedly given stuff?"

Blake tiredly sighed, and pushed away from Weiss-to the girl's relaxation-and took a seat next to Velvet. Their local bunny mommy gave the cat girl some probably needed physical pats, as she is great for touchies, she'll admit that. "Worse, he's earned a lot of his stuff. Like, with effort, and physical violence. He's basically a patriarch now, and I myself am agonizing over the fact I'm not wanting to stop him." Blake looked around, flustered. "Weiss was right, we've all just let Jaune lead us, and I just want to ask, as women, if Jaune's treatment is fine."

...

...

...

Velvet nodded, Pyrrha and Nora and her too. Yang sighed to herself, and thought of things. Weiss didn't even look like she heard the question.

She blew some of her loose hair strands away, pushing down the butterflies in her stomach. For Jaune? She'd do it every time. "Look, I'm kinda a shut in, but I'm still a girl too! Jaune's girl, just like Pyrrha! And he's not controlling and stuff, he's just, ehm, big. That's the treatment we've gotten! And look how far we've come? Y'know?"

And comfy, and hard, very hard. She'd elaborate and stop the others from looking at her with concern and curisoity, but Ruby was still collecting her thoughts.

The spartan girl nodded along, maybe she's finally rubbing off on her? Ruby can only hope. Yang tapped her tummy, and Ruby jolted in place a bit.

"Eh?-"

"Ruby, I don't think we hate Jaune or anything." That got some unanimous agreement from Ruby's other teammates. "We're just concerned about some things. Like if he's gonna do what he did too Weiss again. And if that's okay or not, or if it's okay that we can be made to enjoy it."

Pyrrha spoke up again, annoyed in ways super similar to Ruby herself. That's good! Sisterhood gang, also defend Jaune gang, cuz everyone-including the snowflake-is acting like a snowflake. "Jaune had no other option but to punish rude and obnoxious behaviour."

She had no mercy, and looked at her bestie with fiery green fury. Weiss said nothing, frowning away. Pyrrha was leaning on the table now, hands held tight together. "How about we do a round robin of our opinion on Jaune, then say if he's a desirable leader. Is this fair?"

Ruby thought so, Yang did too, after a moment's consideration. Everyone followed along after that. The buzz of excitement around them and the yet to be announced start of the debated put a weird urgency in them. They have probably five minutes to speak their feeelings so oh fuck.

She had to go first! And she tried to, right as Pyrrha hushed her with bemusement. "You'll go right after me, Ruby. Thank you for that."

She muffled out a 'your welcome,' and looked to Weiss, giving her a thumbs up.

Pyrrha cleared her throat, and put a gloved hand on her chest. "I think Jaune's behavior is warranted and his leadership is highly potent. Ruby?-"

"I believe!" She squealed, moving her balance periodically from her heel to top of her feet. "That Jaune, whatever he did to unnerve my bestie, wouldn't do so to harm us, and wants good things for us! Yang?"

Yang grinned at her lightly, and promptly squashed her down into a seat while she stood. "Personally, I have no meaningful complaints about Jaune's leadership, and want him to win a lot more then I want Ozpin or Glynda. I just hope he's not gonna be disrespecting women a lot."

"...Surprisingly?" Blake mumbled, leaning on the table too, with her bow flopped down. "Me too, he's productive and...convincing, if that makes sense."

"Yes, that does." Said everyone, in near unison, in near monotone. Jaune would be proud.

Nora spoke up then, frowning and nervously giggling. "I'll do whatever Fearless Leader wants, but I'm just worried about what he does in the meantine, and if that stuff is gonna harm others."

Blake frowned at her, curious. "If his charms and strengths do bad things to good people in the future, would you still-"

"Yep."

...

"Come again?-"

Nora grinned, and nodded her head. "I have every inclination to obey my leader in basically every way ever, because Ren trusts him that way and I trust Jaune's decisions to be the greater good no matter what. So yeah, ride or die."

While everyone disgested that, their Ice Queen spoke up. "Hey, everyone?"

They glanced back. Weiss sighed, and leaned into her hands. "I'm not angry at Jaune, not entirely. He was right in trying to calm me down, as I-now that I'm thinking about it-didn't do Blake correctly on that. Sorry, cat woman."

"Don't appreciate the nickname." Said cat woman said, hissy and catty as her namesake. "But it's okay, Schnee, I think we've learned what happens when we beat each other up. Verbally, that is."

Ruby still hasn't gotten an explanation, but she's icees together that Weiss insulted Blake and Jaune was a bit handsy with her as a result. Personally? Ruby thinks the touchy touch was needed, Weiss needs a wake up call! And less race warisms!

Weiss nodded. "Fair enough, Jaune's wrath and not positive touch isn't on my wishlist. And I definitely was being provocative myself, to both Jaune and you, Blake." She pushed some stray white locks away, frowning. I'm just...conflicted with myself."

Confusion, and general concern were the group's main responses, but Weiss kept silent, blushing to herself and having a intense staring contest with the table. "So, can I respectfully request everyone to respectfully stop prodding me? And focus on the debate we're going to witness-"

"And take part in." Velvet added, derailing their Weiss-friendship affections, smiling and pulling out a loose sheet of notebook paper. "This isn't very formal, and the questions won't be either. Remember what Jaune said?"

Yang nodded, and snorted. "'I'm kinda retarded.'"

Blake rolled her eyes. "'Gamers will be mentioned at least once."

Pyrrha hummed. "'The legitimacy of the state of Mantle will be heavily questioned-'"

"Okay!" Weiss put her hands up, groaning in misery. "No more Jauneisms, Monty Oum above! No wonder you wenches let him face-fuck me!"

...

...

Ruby giggled, nervous and concerned. Weiss was too, and shut her mouth tight. "That's eh, some mighty lewd word choice, bestie. Holy frick."

"Yikes from me dawg." Added Yang, sucking her teeth in.

Velvet patted the Schnee sympathetically. "If you have something to tell us, Weiss, then don't be scared to."

"Or do," Blake mused, tapping her claws together. "Because I'm not sure if we can handle the idea of you enjoying sexual domination in both the physcial and mental sense. That's overdone though, right, Schnee?"

...

...

"Uh oh." Nora said, shaking the blushing dust princess around, to no response but miserable groaning. "I think we've found a sob story in the making, folks! Who here saw her legs crossing-"

"No! You stop it, bubble brute!" Weiss squawked, it was familiar enough to get a sigh out of most everyone. Including Ruby. Her bestie pushed the grinning Valkyrie away, face first and poorly done at that. "I am not some harlot who likes to give big, tall, determined strong-men control over my life and actions! I am independent and have no masculine complex whatsoever and-"

"Shhhh." Velvet said, pityingly. So they didn't have to, which judging by the reinforced concern on basically everyone else's faces, was very much so needed. "We'll just get Jaune to apologize to you, and maybe buy you things. Like food, and stuffed animals. Will that help?"

Not surprisingly, Weiss firmly scoffed at that, then looked off in contemplation. Scowling to herself, then taking her sudden anger out on everyone else. "Yes, sure, whatever. I'm worth more than most of you all combined, so don't worry about fancy product, yes?"

The condescending money flex didn't stop their compassion, as a lot of them know Weiss enough now to say she reflexively does this when stressed. Besides Blake, who secretly smirked while sitting back down. Ruby hopes their leader-or Headmaster, hopefully both-calms the Ice Queen and cat girl's back and forth tirade game of racial inequality. This stuff is too much a headache for Ruby, though some would say she'd barely have the brains for it anyways.

Like what her friends sorta imply, since they had trouble supporting her relationship with Jaune. Still do actually, since they're having this conversation so brazenly in the first place. Eh, give or take, as its like they're expressing their hesitation for more Jaune around them through Weiss. Sorta.

Eh, Jaune makes her conspiratorial. And lewd, equally both.

Either way, She's sick of it. and is planning on sticking it to the wo-man tonight after this is all over.

Ruby answered for them all, determination in her heart and proverbial ladyballs. "We promise, Weiss! Everything's gonna be fine, Jaune will take care of us, and Beacon! Look at him up there!" She pointed, and they followed, curious and bored at the wait. "Isn't he just a professional? Or super cool?"

Ruby thought the stand off certainly was, and felt even more happy about everything when Pyrrha-for once-tapped her shoulder in respect, smiling back at her when Ruby jolted in shock and glanced at The Invincible Girl in that shock.

Most of the rest laughed at her, but they're already living hypocrites. So whilst they had themselves some giggles and gossip, Ruby stared inwards, to her man, and hopefully democratically elected not-cult leader cult leader.

After all, didn't they hate Monty, because he told them The Truth?

---

Jaune was ready, and angry, very angry.

They've just so happened to all come together to do this goddamn debate thing right after the skeleton man inside his head gives him the respect wahmen talk. Like, holy shit, why're they all worked up over something they allowed?

And they talked about it down there! He saw: Weiss getting the victim treatment, the hesitant looks, the totally-questioning-his-supreme-foreskin-leadership-banter. Fucking fantastic. It's wonderful his boys don't do this shit, and just kinda go with the flow.

Like what they're doing now, casual banter and not passive aggressive discussion of authority they're afraid to overrule. Wow, ain't that just fascinating, Jebodiah?

Don't lose your cool here, Jaune, pride can't move mountains.

It can fucking destroy one though, and that's what he's planning to do. He looked at the stalwart Port behind them, and when their eyes-or eyelids to eyes-meet, Port hummed.

"Mr. Arc?" He said, throaty and curious. "Are you ready to face your opponent? We've been standing here for awhile, letting the populace ogle and-"

Jaune glanced at Ozpin, who was pretty much neutral. At least, on the outside. He pointed a finger. "I'm ready, and wanna know if the boomer is ready." For extra measure, he pulled out his debate section paper thing, and all the stuff he wants to talk about. "Also, does the boomer mind if I start the questioning first?"

He poked his paper, and eye-poked Ozpin the entire way, liking the little twitch in his retinal cavity thing. Whatever the fuck, Jaune doesn't know eyes. "I've got this paper on all the subjects I wanna yell at you about, and would appreciate if he'd appreciate my lack of appreciation."

Port wanted to comment on that, but Ozpin-deadpanned and head tilted-beat him to it. "Jaune, what is this 'boomer' insult you've been on about?"

And right then? Everyone quieted down, as Goodwitch and Peach hollered out to do as such. The eyes of Beacon, beady and annoying, gazed upon boomer and gen z alike, and Jaune had to say: Ozpin has a lot of tolerance, because if Jaune is secretly feeling this angry when looking at his own generation, then whatever makes Ozpin tick is absolutely demonic in it's evil badness.

Or, blonde and seventeen years old. With each year of that time like a fine wine sucking in all the baby rage around, and then whining to himself about it.

Jaune isn't baby raging.

Yes you are, you're angry because I'm right and you don't respect women-

OooOOooO-hear that? That's The Brine, because he's fake news. Speaking of...

Jaune scoffed at the old man, arms crossed and grin savage in its opposition. "A 'boomer' is someone coequally known to have been born post great-war, like right after."

"Even if I was, how is that term an insult?"

Already people were chuckling in the back and below, Jaune wanted to take advantage of that. See, he's kinda got one huge problem: Jaune cannot say that he's experienced, trained, skilled, powerful, or stronger in any capacity larger than Ozpin, probably. So he's gotta improvise and relate to his generation, and the stuff they like. Sorta.

So, Jaune cracked his knuckles, grinning away. "It's a term for somebody outdated and oppressively so. For example." The paper went in his Beacon pants pocket, and the now unpapered fingers reflexively twiddled in the air. Then proceed to square themselves off at the index to index, and thumb to thumb. "See my hand? As it makes a mid-air box?"

Ozpin frowned, watching him work his magic, and so too everyone else. Jaune would love to take in the confusion, but he had to focus. "...Yes?"

"Okay good. Now this is box, right here, is a holoscreen television." Jaune licked his lips. "You can tell it is a television holoscreen because of the way it is."

Snorting. Old man bemusement. "Ah, yes indeed. The floor is made out of floor."

Laughter. Can't have that. Jaune snorted. "Actually..."

He stomped, and the sound pinged off the table plateform's hollowed out hide below them. It rang out throughout the quickly silenced crowds. "It's made out of tables I hired my second-in-command 's girlfriend to make. So technically not floor, but okay boomer."

Ozpin sighed in the peak passive aggressive manner he'd come to expect. "Lord above, Jaune. What's the point in these shenanigans-"

"Shut." He hissed. "Here's what I'm saying: when someone younger watches the screen, they're more likely to integrate themselves with the media, while old people and boomers don't. They kinda view it as the technological idols they kinda are, but in a super negative way that doesn't help anybody but themselves. Basically..."

Jaune pointed, and made sure to yell this out. "This goddamn boomer right here is not a legitimate Headmaster! And has divided us amongst our grades for reasons either nefarious or ignorant! He does not understand the plight of children forced to deal with hormones and monster death creatures who want to fucking merc us!"

"I do, however!" He pointed at himself now, and with his other hand, he manifested his gauntlet and got himself a chair. While the thing yeeted itself from across the goddamn cafeteria, Jaune transitioned his paper from his pocket to pointer hand. Roughly, horribly confusedly too, since he was still trying to point at himself and grandstanding. "I am The Truth: we here at Beacon academy want accountable leadership that doesn't abuse and warp rules for unjustified reasons!"

The people gave a light cheer at that, and in the meantime time, Jaune's chair came to his gauntlet, much to Ozpin's fascination. Putting the random chair down, Jaune stepped up and took in the glory of being slightly taller than Ozpin, grinning away at the attentive old bastard. "So, everyone, I'd like to introduce you formally to the first-and last-annual Beacon Headmaster Debates! And our host?-"

"Several hosts, and familiar informants from the student body. To you, at least, Jaune." Port said, already taking a seat, with Peach and Goodwitch on his side. Albeit a fair distance away. "I'll be sure they stay unpartisan during this little unintellectual intellectual argument. Actually, hold for a brief moment..."

They did, and heard Port call over his foreskin clan. Jaune couldn't hear the whispers between Port and the boys, but whatever it was, they came back with several microphones from their table. Not before giving their leader some last minute advice. Or, at least Ren did.

"Do try and be somewhat serious, leader?" Ren mused calmy, as the teachers got their fair share of microphones, whilst the boys gave the rest went to Jaune's other subsection of friends, the ones with vaginas and leadership doubts. All before schmoozing back to their lower table platform thing, like actual bros.

The girls moved to Port's long table on the table platform, not giving him that much attention for the moment. Besides Ruby and Pyrrha, who smiled. "This is the fate of your freedom, and ours, so even though I have faith in you, please don't let your emotions cloud your judgment?" Ren left with the other boys then, meeting their excitement and curiosity with stoic ninjaism.

Jaune looked down at his hands, and sighed. "I'll try, Ren. I'll try..."

Soon enough, everything was officially situated. Port cleared his throat. "As you can see: on my right, are the esteemed Professors Miss Goodwitch and Peach, and on my other..."

He pointed at his girls, who all-to some degree-beamed at the student body below. Sans the Blake and Weiss duo, who stared at him. Yet looked away when he raised a brow back. "We have Jaune's collection of inter team friends who wanted to actively participate in nonpartisan questioning!"

Velvet gave them papers and everything. When she caught him eyeballing in curiosity, she waved, and winked. She looked wonderful, especially with the papers in her hand, high quality.

Are we casually ogling women now, this is a thing?

Jaune ignored skeleton cunt, and cleared his throat. Loudly, and grinned to the renewed attention of the audience, feeling himself put away the petty anger at people corralled in a smelly cafeteria for nearly two hours now. Not there fault people are stupid, or sensitive, or have vaginas. That last part especially, since he's pretty sure you can't manufacture women, unless you're Monty.

Remember Penny?

Remember his throbbing cock? Remember that fat nut he busted? No? Because he did it, and it was fucking epic.

I have a feeling you're using your own immature personification person as a punching bag for your ang-

Gonna cry? Gonna scream and shout? Piss and shit? Shit and cum? Or do you want him to fuck the robot chick?

Jaune felt himself get pretty smug after that, reading his paper over and getting confident in his points. Ozpin himself simply standing by, gazing off into the crowds of only slightly noisy students. Sorta including his girls, who're all now situated with papers and various degrees of attentiveness put on their Arc leader. He liked Ruby and Pyrrha's the best, cuz they blew kisses.

Aight, I'm gonna stay quiet now. You're gonna have to learn the hard way. Fucks sake...

He was about to blurt out his thing-thang, then promptly had a brief thought ping-pong all the way from his dirty toes to dirty mind: that being, whether or not fucking the robot waifu is actually fucking a sex doll or not.

We're doing this now?

The Brine said he would be silent, this is merely proof of his fake news. Soon enough, The Jebodiah Foundations are gonna be deleting mind emails in the dozens of thousands. All of them about robot child vagina and hotdogs being delivered to Mantlean politicians.

Quiet time now. I hope you end up fucking the goddamn robot at this rate. Gives a whole meaning to mech suits, don't it?

Interesting idea number one-four-eight-eight: if he nutted in the robot girl with laser beam swords and shit, would she be liable to pregnancy? Does Penny have a vagina?-

Suddenly, Ozpin, who coughed into the quiet and stared into Jaune's bewildered meat-face. He wasn't done thinking about robot vagina, but robot vagina was done thinking about him. "I'd like to see my opponent's debate questions come first." His cane went up, and he pointed to the crowd. "However! One thing should be clear. Or, two things I suppose: there is justification for everything I do, and I will promise to do more in the future!"

"Yeah, that's nice and all, old man." Jaune flapped his paper, confident in the questions on them. "But here's the topic: legitimacy."

Ozpin blinked. "In general?-"

"In general." Jaune continued, shaking his paper around. "I wanna point out several super important concepts about why you're an irresponsible leader, and-"

"Hey, Jaune?" Velvet asked, and when he looked, at least Yang and Weiss shared the same sorta professional esc look at Velvet did, who sucked her teeth in and frowned. "Can we hold off on that for now? We wanted to ask our own general questions first, for the sake of the student body, at least."

Jaune was confusion, and strut over to his girls, frowning. It deepened when Weiss and Blake's expressions morphed equally into apprehension and uncertainty when he did.

Velvet was more neutral though, even when he leaned over her. Frowning less, but still more frustrated. "Velvet?"

"Leader?" The white and black duo looked absolutely horrified, beady little rebel waifu eyesores watching him for something spooky, he could tell. Luckily, they couldn't find anything, and chilled out a bit when he gave their bunny friend some headpats.

Yes, the duo might've calmed down at the nice touchy touch, but Yang stared at him in suspicion, and confusion. The rest of the girls? Pretty contento for the most part, the humming bunny girl below him all the more. Jaune smiled. "Hey Velvet?"

She adjusted her papers, and looked up at him, from slightly frazzled brown locks. Beaming and eager to listen. "Jaune?"

Jaune leaned in a bit more. "Can I please lead the first round of questioning? It's related to the situation, I Arc promise."

"Port?" Velvet gently pushed him away, frowning. "Can I? Or should I entertain our foreskin leader's democratic interference?"

Professor Port glanced at his other side's cohorts, who frowned, mostly Goodwitch, and shook their heads. "Well, I personally see no harm in it, but these women? Not sure-"

"Just this question!" Jaune stressed. "Or debate, it's important I assure you-"

The two professors looked each other over, shrugged. Goodwitch flicked her hair, frowning, but not hostile. "Very well, Arc. But, have your speed demon give me my-"

Promptly, her wand was chucked, and decked her right in the frowning facehole. Landing on her lap, and crushing whatever fear Jaune had for the clown emoji of a combat instructor during the process.

Ruby squealed in rapturous glory. "That's for chasing me and getting my outfit scuffed! Eat dookie!" Love of his life, that one.

The only reason Goodwitch didn't beat her ass right then, is that Peach put her hand sternly on the fuming woman's shoulder, whispering something about responsibility.

The dominatrix was subdued, and she begrudgingly gave Jaune a nod. "Just continue this legitimacy talk, I'm sure Ozpin's silence means cooperation, and I'm sure we're all wanting to get on with it."

"Yes!" Weiss grumbled, poking Ruby in the cheek, while the cookie loli got silently chewed out by her sister. "Get on with it!"

From the foreskin boy's table, a roar began, excited and demanding all in equal measures. "YES! Get on with it!"

From the down below commons of their actual student body, the sight of these elitist shills bickering back and forth must of been too much, so they themselves added to the general unhappiness at unproductive banter and wand throwing.

"YES!" The people roared. "GET ON WITH IT!"

Jaune looked his friends over one last time.

Weiss and Yang crowded around a flustered Ruby.

Pyrrha and Nora and Velvet silently looked back, giving encouraging smiles.

Blake just hissed at the eye contact, and scooted closer to the yangery blonde verbally harassing her sister.

Jaune shared a glance with his Headmaster, who looked quite ready to lambast him in equal amounts as lambasting the rest of this academy for their blatant rebellion. Jaune never saw them be so informal in the man's presence. But then again, Jaune kinda disrupted the natural order of things.

So, Jaune cleared his throat, and asked the first legitimate question about legitimacy there was. "You didn't punish the first year class for the incident two weeks ago."

Ozpin raised a brow, his reserved face of old man prowess plastered upon him in full force. "That I didn't. Is there a reason I should exclude some and not others?"

"Yes, actually. The majority of higher grades didn't take part in the chaos, and only joined in on the commotion when first year kids decided to provoke them." Jaune tapped his paper, lazily frowning. "It's a matter of legitimacy because you aren't consistent with how you rule things."

Velvet hummed to herself, looking over the other waifus in consideration. "Maybe Jaune doesn't need our questions after all! Girls?-"

Weiss shushed her. "Quiet down, we're trying to do politics."

Ozpin's cane hit the table platform, voice booming across the cafeteria walls and interrupting any lingering conversations. "I would like to point out that I've been teaching and administering this institution for the past fifty plus years, and am still in charge of our festivities. Including Vale Remembrance day."

They all lit up at that. "Yes, children! The cooks have already been quick at work in producing the bulk of our banquet, make sure to bring as many family members as possible!" He cleared his throat. "Besides the point, however…"

The cane was pointed at him, and Ozpin's frown became a smile, light and condescending. "I'm incompetent in scenarios other people choose to be incredibly irrational."

Jaune deadpanned. "Which is often, because we're in a school full of hormonal teenagers with super powers."

Ozpin frowned. "I have a question for our audience, then. Maybe our student judges too." Ozpin cleared his throat, holding his hand out to the masses. "Do you want me to punish entire grade subsections? Is that fair? And if so, whose to say it wouldn't instigate further conflict?"

Mumbled discussion answered him, and Jaune took a moment to think.

Velvet was gonna add something, but Ruby beat her to the punch. "That's not what we're saying! Jaune isn't either. We just want less punishment for irrational reasons and stuff!"

"Ruby, I agree. But once again," Pyrrha sighed, head In her heads. "That's not the problem at hand. We're talking about the people and not ourselves." The rebuttal was loud enough to get some general agreement from the closer audience, mostly the waifu gaggle though.

Blake raised a hand, tired and annoyed. "I volunteer we simply just wait until these two are done, since I'm pretty certain we're gonna stall this for no reason if we try and prod the boomer randomly. It'll just waste our time and Jaune's fuel for political ramblings."

The rest of them agreed, Pyrrha voiced it. "Yes, let's see how Jaune handles this. Continue!" She winced, and muttered an apology to Port, who rumbled a positive back. Jaune stopped paying attention then, and looked at Ozpin.

"How about we can question the people, but not the judges?"

"...Very well, Jaune." Ozpin sighed, rubbing his forehead. "This is the last of your interventions then? Is it just us now, debating in front of my school for leadership?"

"It's gonna be my school." Jaune grinned, finally feeling like this wasn't the train wreck it was. "Now, here's what I gotta say: you shouldn't have left an unstable school unsupervised, because like I said-and am gonna repeat-hormonal teenagers left unsupervised will cause chaos."

"What's the solution then?"

"Not being a boomer, and taking care of your children?"

"That's incredibly easy for you to say, Jaune, as you only need to prance around and claim that I'm immoral and undesirable." Ozpin leaned on his cane. "Should not the children simply be held accountable to one another? And the fact that they participated in immaturity?"

Jaune groaned internally, but collected himself. "That's what in saying, if a certain group of students make a mistake, is it not fair to punishment them?" He met the student body's gaze head on. "Also, I'd like to point out that doesn't mean we should pick favorites, or value some grades over each other in general."

The murmurs were real, but Jaune remained adamant. "This goes beyond factions or grades: in my Beacon Academy, we will make sure any and all punishments come from a place of fairness."

A calmer atmosphere, some more agreement too, even from the first years. "Hopefully, putting further dampening on our institution's people becomes a last resort by then. Because Unlike our esteemed old coop here? I plan to never put ourselves in a situation requiring large scale disciplines for Ozpin's quote on quote 'immaturity.'"

Port tapped his mic, and raised a brow. "Let's make this clear: on the subject of legitimacy, what are your opinions?"

Ozpin tapped his cane, not too content about Jaune's extra talk time. "I think Jaune is an opportunist who takes advantage over poor circumstances. If anything, he is arguing for more control since he wants children to be punished for their actions."

Jaune nodded along, unhappy with the characterization, but understanding of a good point. "Ozpin isn't willing to sensitize the student body to chaos and disorder, he's more interested in personal ventures and maintaining a distant status quo. Willing to let the children under his supervision remain unaided and angry at each other."

Port nodded, and everyone took a moment to digest that. A short moment, as Ruby spoke up. "Question! For both of you guys, ehehe…" she shrieked back under the quick shifting of literally everyone's gaze, but got confident again when looking into his dissuading smile. "So! For Ozpin: how will you act from now on? And for my-eh, I mean, Jaune over here, is there anything else you wanna use to call Ozpin illegitimate?"

Yang prodded her shoulder, proud grin on her face. "That's a good question, more than what these bozos could've come up with." Said group of feminine bozos looked back at her with scrutiny. "What? I'm just saying the truth!"

Before Yang could further ostracize herself, Ruby shut her mouth and gave them an overly happy smile, which essentially was a cover up for inner stress, and unhappiness at Yang's dumbness. But that's merely the obvious, Jaune's obvious, at least. "So? Whatcha guys think?"

Ozpin hummed, walking around in a little circle, forward and back and back again. "I plan on being more interactive in the future lives of my children, and profusely apologize for my previous actions." He looked out at the masses, calm and collected. "Nothing more, nothing less."

When Ruby looked at him expectantly, along with everyone else, Jaune realized that there's gotta be something to combat that. Anything. At all.

But how? He's gotten this far soley on inflammatory rhetoric and someone else's fuck-ups, Jaune in all actuality had no real ups on the goddamn boomer from the start, and how can he? It's like a one on one challenge against a veteran huntsman, without any equalizers in between. He's just gotta think, and think hard. Why is Ozpin illegitimate?

Why, why, why, why-wait, hold on.

He remembered the discussion they had before all this, and-pushing aside the out of the blue decision to have questions he didn't preemptively organize, God, why is this whole debate thing so confusing-he remembered something very vital to his poltical agenda. So vital, that he proclaimed it while at the stairs.

Memes. The blood of the soul, and the lube of the loon. The abstract haha funny is fundamental to all gen z humor and below, as it reflects the horrible reality of not getting laid and playing video games because you hate yourself and everyone around you. Jaune did, and it sucked, so much, that he got blackmailed into going on an acid trip. Which led him onto a down spiral of political radicalization and disrespect for most authority figures in his life.

Jaune has found a layer to reality so intrenched in irony that he fucks women while thinking about it. It's just so profound and not fake and gay.

So, Jaune, with a head raised high, and a desire for less federal taxation and self-imposed orgasms, addressed the people, Ozpin, his friends, and mostly importantly, himself. Grinning.

It was truthful, and bespoke his feelings. "Ozpin?"

The old man was taken aback at the honesty in his voice, but nevertheless responded. "Jaune?"

He looked out onto the people, and spoke his mind. "I'd like to question Beacon's involvement with the state of Mantle."

…

…

…

Everyone quietly gasped, and gossiped around like the thirty year old Karen's they were. Absolutely disgusting, but the question was there, and people considered it. None more than Ozpin himself, who frowned, heavily. "Explain...that, Jaune. Mantle is our greatest ally, especially to our research and development wings." The cane gestured to the seated Trex Pig, who let loose a electronic squeal. "Our dust borne mechanisms would never have come to fruition without our lots intertwining with Mantle's security and stability."

Jaune frowned. "So, that's why Vale is funneling thirty eight billion lien notes to an overseas irreligious technocracy for the only benefit of robot pigs that can shoot fire and play music? What about infrastructure, or safe borders from the Grimm? I mean sure, Beacon is protected, but guys…" he looked out at the people, vulnerable and concerned. "Nine tenths of the known area of Vale isn't properly bordered off. The only thing stopping conventional Grimm from waltzing into our territories and slaughtering our people is a couple thousand armed superhuman militants with big shooty gun swords."

He shook his head. "Other than that? We'd be mostly fucked, and quite literally fucked, by the creatures of darkness that rule a majority of both the known and unknown world. It's just to show how morbid even being here is: becuase while we have these mock debates and elections, for minors who will murder death kill evil demon beasts, those actual demon beasts are fucking spit roasting little timmy's mom and have already merc'd his dad on the frontier."

If there was debate amongst them before, there wasn't now. Ozpin looked as dumb founded as Jaune felt. But he preserved himself.

"Quite literally, we live in a society of perpetual ignorance and relatively, and the only thing stopping it are moments like these where I wow you with my foreskin gang and declare the old man beside me a shitty person without quality or decency."

Jaune licked his lips, not liking the that meme magic makes him wanna be honest, but oh well, it's getting the crowd's attention. "So I'll say this: I plan on not only integrating myself with the student body more so than any of Ozpin's capacity, but I will work on also expanding Vale's territory and borders against the enemy."

Jaune's head was high, and his soul hummed in agreement, because he might have accidentally stumbled upon a truth. "I will build great walls that no Grimm can climb, so that no family forsaken by the huntsman and soldiers and federal agencies of Vale shall have no protection against the evils plaguing them."

Some cheer, light and budding, it encouraged him, he's got something here. "I will expand Vale's borders and steadily take our world back from the enemy! The hellbeasts and demons! They will quake in the might of Vale's glory in comparison! We will be a legion of light collective and true! Our Kingdom fuckin' come, and Monty's Will be done!"

That got further cheer, even though Jaune felt very guilty using the Lord's name in vain, it seemed to stoke up that hidden religious fervor hidden in Beacon's populace. Jaune's foreskin boys in particular, as they both literally and figuratively hanged onto his every word and each other. The girls were just shocked in general, Jaune can't really describe it, women are confusing. "So if you make me your Headmaster, your gateway to success, learning, love, war, and friendship…"

Jaune raised his fist, his golden fist of power and waifus. "Then tread lightly! Because I will weaponize and empower you as not only a mere student farting around their later stages of puberty, but a full blown warrior who will save this Remnant and secure a future for our children! Our people! What say you to that?!"

They said a lot, and most of it unintelligible but excited, as people got up from their seats and clapped, all grades alike, swept up in the out-of-the-ballpark hope. That was hope. Jaune realized it.

No one ever promised them meaning, just pure change of status quo, and uniforms, there was no further doctrine dictating their lives. Now though? Jaune put that hope there, even if he himself didn't recognize where and how it came from, or if he can even replicate it again.

And to think, it all started because he questioned distant elitist authorities who want federal and educational loans for private purposes. Next thing they'll know, Jaune can get fucking Atlas to pay for it.

When the excitement didn't quiet down soon enough, Port tapped his mic. "Okay! Okay! Let's calm down children, and also process what we just heard, and where we wish to go from here. As you known, and can also definitely tell from this last moment set up…"

Ozpin stared at him, conflicted, curious, and most interestingly, nervous. And nastoligic, it baffled Jaune, and made him raise a brow in return. "Will our ladies, and student body make any further comments on the happenings that just occured due to that weirdly…profound speech?"

…

…

…

Professor Peach sat up, clearing her throat. "I'd like to request we change formats, something more...confrontational." It was meet with resounding agreement at large, and slight trepidation from his foreskin clan. The female portion, at least.

"Peach, I don't understand." Jaune scratched his head, meeting her eyes. Glossy things that had little to none of the sympathy harbored within when he asked for her help. His girls even noticed it, and looked on in confusion too. "You were with us not to long ago! Why're you-"

"Mantlean sponsors."

…

"Oh, that explains it." Jaune glared at Ozpin, who raised a brow. "That's how you did it? Made use of your connections and basically threatened to curb stomp her funding if she didn't vouch for you?"

Ozpin meet Peach's adamant gaze, hummed, then looked back at him. The cane rhythmically tapping all the while. "It's not anything you wouldn't do, Jaune. She needs her experiments, and I need some form of loyal staff support. There was no real subduing of free will, Jaune."

"But she didn't want to get political, did she?"

A roll of the eyes, and surprisingly, Ozpin cracked a smile. "Everything is political these days. Even Grimm, since you're trying to radicalize our institution into a puedo religion of Grimm slaughter."

Jaune snorted. "Is that even bad? We're literally gonna die if we don't get our shut together and defend our borders. Why not?"

Ozpin's mouth was mid speech when Peach coughed, looking a fair bit more sympathetic to Jaune's plight. "Headmaster, Jaune?"

They hummed along. She sighed, and pulled out two weird glowy armband things, a technological blue and glowing with what they can only assume was dust. "I'd like to settle this matter the old fashion way: a full frontal, no outside interference, no conventional weapon interference, and environmentally involved duel between our current Headmaster and his Subverter!"

The people ooohed, his girls hissed and gasped, the boys cheered, Glynda smirked savagely.

Him and Ozpin shared a look. Jaune did not the budding excitement in the old bastard's veiny eyeholes, no sir. Peach continued, jangling the armbands around for all to see. "These are Aura limiters, and can nullify Aura to completion. Basically, it will equalize our fighter's physical prowess, but leave experience and semblances up to be used. It, for the most part, is the best way we can equalize the two, and perhaps find a strong leader the old fashion way! Port, girls, Glynda, student body?"

She looked around, excitement matched in equal amounts to her fire pig creation, who squealed in delight. "Is this a desirable idea!?"

Port was frowning, but before he could say his peace, the collective roar of the student body silenced all criticism, Glynda included. The combat bitch rudely hollered her agreement right by the old man's ear, causing him to freeze up and glare at the vengeful witch.

Whilst the teachers bickered about responsible actions and proper behavior, Ozpin and him continued their staring contest. The excitement was still there in the old man's eyes, but it was diluted, and yet refined. It showed in his posture too: back straight, open palms on his prone cane, and body just generally relaxed. Attentive.

Jaune strived to perform his own proper stance, and frowned when Ozpin chuckled at him. "What? What's so funny, old man?"

"You, child." There was mirth. "You're tense, scared to fight me, aren't you?"

"No sir." And he meant it too, at least, emotionally. "I think my polygamy gauntlet has served me well, and can continue to do so, even against you."

"Yet you know nothing about me, my history, my purpose, or reasons for doing this."

"Will you tell me, then?"

…

…

Sighing, and an old man giving a small, sad smile. "I'm thinking about it, but I'll have to see how this goes." Jaune heard the sound of seats being left, and heard Ozpin humm In bemusement. "Anyways, do console your lot, I'll be waiting here. Ready to be that Man on High you always hated, right?"

Jaune frowned, but couldn't say anything more, and walked to his mobilized waifus, namely Ruby, Pyrrha, and Velvet, with Nora in the back.

It was true. Sorta: Jaune always hated the old man for his punishing ways, and yet this affable not rude and scary side of Ozpin? Jaune has no issue with, and hopes to beat him up without much prejudice. Ish, because Ozpin is still a shill for Mantle. Never forgetting that.

Suddenly, Ruby, who he held close. Once again rocking back and forth, only this time she whispered something into his chest. "Muane?"

"Uh-Huh?"

She popped up, and while Pyrrha power walked to her right, Ruby beamed up at him, though Jaune could tell the little droop to it meant she was nervous. Habits that he's seen her do enough to pick up on. "You'll do great, Sempai, I'm countin' on you! The others are too, but...they're kinda scared of you for some reason. Something about..." she scratched her cheek, and answered more confidently after he adjusted her huntress uniform's collar. "Something about you disrespecting Weiss?"

Ah, a matter for a less dire time. Jaune sighed, kissed her forehead, and welcomed an antsy Pyrrha into their snuggle time. Their other harem member welcomed herself in just as they her, and thankfully, Pyrrha had no qualms about holding onto the cookie loli tightly. It went much appreciated too, and the girls squeezed each other as hard as they squeeze him. Velvet was hanging out in the back, uncertain but curious.

"Velvet? Bun-Bun?" He mused, getting her ears to twitch, and giggle nervously. "C'mon, get in the snuggle struggle, I promise not to bite, or let these ones here do so."

When the soul silvers and emerald flares of his current girls meet the bunny girl's big ol' chocolatey mommy gf orbs, Velvet seemed to calm down, and joined in. Relaxing greatly when hearing a Ruby squeal in delight, and seeing Pyrrha absently nod. Wait, hold on-

Jaune jolted in place, and groaned, feeling somebody doing something she shouldn't be doing. It was, as said naughty waifu only looked off into the distance carelessly, humming to herself. Even while the other waifus-Ruby on his chest, and Velvet at his side-looked on in confusion. "P-Pyrrha?"

She hummed. And the other girls silently gasped in shock. "Yes, lover?"

Jaune looked over his shoulder, and quieted down when he found Ozpin unhearing, but nonetheless in very close proximity. "I'd appreciate you stop trying to give me a impromptu bulge rub whilst I'm trying to beat up old people. I'll let you have it later."

She pressed in again, humming, and obviously too slow on purpose. Ruby was beet red, and Velvet looked on in fascination. Jaune would've commented on the bunny girl's interest and how that's pretty fuckin' dope, but the budding quarter chub in his pants isn't fantastic when trying to begin tribal warfare.

So, reaching over their little snuggle sesh, Jaune gave Pyrrha's rump a meaty slap, meeting her rebelliously pleasured eyes right after. "Hey, you. No naughty time, I'm tryna secure my leadership."

"Do it again." She breathed, gleeful and voice a throaty hum. "Leave it redder then my locks, and my swollen lips. Let your other girls watch you dominate me-"

"U-uhm." Velvet scratched her droopy ear. "I'm not a...harem girl, or anything. I'm just here to support!" She was quickly silenced by an excited Ruby, who was whispering things explicit enough to intensify both the girl's already pleasant blushes. They were lost in their own little world now.

So Jaune walked off, and as sternly as possible, gave them a tiresome glare. "You three are currently gonna be the death of me, so pretty please go with Nora and not interfere with me beating up Ozpin. Okay?"

Pyrrha wanted to challenge, to provoke him to bend her over a table or something, but Ruby was surprisingly the rational actor this time and dragged the girls away. It was good now, and Jaune was clear to waltz back towards Ozpin, who raised a brow at him.

Jaune smiled back, then glanced at the quickly approaching Peach, who just got done bickering and looked all the more stressed for it. He'd comment on it to her, but Ozpin pointedly coughed. It drew his attention back, and Jaune hummed. "Ozpin?"

"You've been making grand use of your sembalance, have you?" He sounded curious, causal. Not like the old man minutes away from fighting him.

"Not the semblance, though: just my sheer charisma, you can say." Jaune perked up, and pointedly focused on Ozpin, even while the old man gave the aggrieved Peach a light smile. "Or, better yet. 'All you need is confidence.'"

Peach silently wrapped the armbands around them, and walked off quickly before Glynda could further grandstand about improper children in cloaks. When she did, Ozpin quickly returned his relaxed gaze to him, only this time, it wasn't relaxed anymore. It was curious, and shocked. "Jaune, where'd you hear that?"

Uh...? Jaune shrugged. "Oobleck, he told me a friend told him that. Must've been quite the guy, right?"

...

...

...

"Ozpin? Why're you so amused right now-"

"Nothing! Nothing..." Ozpin brushed his hair back, grinning to himself, it looked equal amounts amused and saddened. "That just reminded me of something is all. Other than that? I'm ready when you are." His cane shrunk, and promptly went to his waist. "I'll therefore wait for you to be ready, and for our esteemed student body and staff to be as well. Matter in fact, Are they?!"

The roar of boredom fueled excitement reached him, it also kicked the Professors' struggles away and orienated them to not verbally harassing each other. Port cleared his throat, and addressed the people. "Very well! If we are all ready to get on with it-"

Another holler session, it brought Jaune's face into a big Arc grin.

Maybe the student body isn't so annoying after all? Maybe the girls and The Brine had a point, somewhat? Don't know, but Jaune knew that Ozpin was almost equally excited about this, if not in his own little reserved way. Port laughed from the belly, and carried on. "Here are the ground rules then..."

"No Aura, no conventional weapons at your disposal, only random objects and your semblance. The first person to faint or surrender is the loser, and the winner makes whatever choice about their winning conditions they so reasonably please. Do our fighters agree to these terms?"

Jaune nodded, stepping back into a basic stance and putting his hands up. The three soul gems on his gauntlet gave him courage. Ozpin nodded as well, hardly in a stance, and more like posing for a portrait. Port hummed, and started a count. "Good! On the count of three, we will have everyone make room and give these two space to operate!"

Already, people slunk back, pulling out their scrolls and hugging the walls. Impressive, really. "One!"

Ozpin's hand warped with green...something, and it gave Jaune much anxiety. The way he somberly looked at it didn't help. "Two!"

Their eyes meet, and Ozpin gave him another grin. "Do try your best, Arc. It's been decades since I've taken to such unorthodox combat, but the rust will quickly fade. So too your foreskin fueled aspirations."

"Yeah?" He challenged, cracking his non plated knuckles. "I've learned quite a bit about punching things as of late, so we'll see how good your old man punches are. Also, I'll have you know my as-"

"THREE!" Port roared, so to the crowd. "GO!"

To Jaune's own personal suprise, he rushed first, feeling the excitement of the sitatuion wash over him. It was enough to let loose a swift sucker punch, right for the old man's face, right in the fuckin' kisser.

Furthermore? It fucking connected, and everyone-him included, as he stood a distance off due to the pure power he put into it-watched their belated Heamaster's head roll back. It faced up high, and though his back remained straight, Jaune could see how the blow's aftershock staggered and disrupted the pseudo stance Ozpin had.

Quielty, they took in the impossible: a first year student just successfully punched their Headmaster. Not only that, but so strongly, that the old bastard stood prone in the sound, likely stunned. Jaune could barely believe it. His fist shook, and his gauntlet hummed in power.

But-

Ozpin's head slowly came back to place, and this time, his stance was centered, practiced and necessarily deep for the occasion. A flowing trail of blood dripped down his nose to jawline, and Ozpin didn't just smile, he grinned.

Jaune didn't like it, especially since it was just so familiar-

"That was fantastic, Arc." Ozpin chuckled, wiping the blood on his sleeve, jittering his upper body in tandem with forest green power warping from limb to limb. "I needed that, honestly. I'll remember this moment for the rest of this lifetime, and hope to take it with me in the next."

"...Huh?-" He blinked, then choked.

Faster then perceivable, or even screamable, Jaune felt Ozpin zoom to his position, and grab his shoulders. That grin remained, sticking in Jaune's mind becuase of sheer profundity alone.

It was like a reflection, warped, aged, and outdated yet-

He went flying, barely comprehending the greenish blur that was Ozpin as he chucked Jaune down the debate platform at violent speeds, all the way down.

Like a ragdoll, Jaune connected to everything: every chair, table, and lack of thereof in his path. By the time the actual ground meet him, he already felt himself harboring bruises fucking everywhere. What hurt more, though, was the sheer excitement and fascination the people looked at him with. Less so Ozpin's imperious disposition.

From on high, Ozpin strut down to him. Casual, collected, calm, and powerful. It was mind numbing in it's quality, yet Jaune had to act! Something to aid him-

From his rutt on the floor, Jaune felt something stiff and intrestingly rock hard in his grasps, but it wasn't his penis this time, no no: it was a bigass loaf of bread, perfect to sword fight with. So with hope in his battered body, Jaune grabbed it and centered himself in a proper sword stance.

Ozpin raised a brow, and glanced behind him. "Before we continue: unit 'ROADHOG'! Approach!"

The Trex Pig thingy womped on over, squealing loyalty to it's patient master, who smiled back. "Good, now..."

They saw him cough, and pat his chest. "Relexa, play 'Duel of the Fakes.'"

To their futher suprise, and Jaune's minor horror, the likely Mantle based technology responded accordingly. Something in the pig blared to life, and it's Relexa attachment too apparently.

Whilst everyone oogled at the sound-speaker enhanced robot starting up a random Grimmtube video, Ozpin gave him a knowing smirk, pausing his descent from the high ground. "Mantle sponsers, remember? I needed an outlet to express my more... orthodox media consumption. You recognize the song, don't you?"

"Yeah." He hissed, scooting forward, at the base of the table plateforn pyramid. "But why? Why play a song?-"

Ozpin flippled-without Aura-off of the table pyramid, landing with some long ago hidden grace a few feet away. A probing hand searched the floor, and Ozpin chuckled triumphantly, finding his own bread sword.

Jaune stared, gulping down his hesitation. Ozpin masterfully swung the aquired bread to and frow, keeping eye contact the whole time. "It's oddly fitting, Arc. We have the perfect equalization opportunity, with only personailties and bodies to rely on. So let me ask..."

The video started, and the heavenly chrous roared their intrigue, challenging and intense in equal measure. Much like The Headmaster before him, holding the stone-cold and hardened bread two handed. A grin bloomed on his face, far too youthful for Jaune's liking. No sir.

Auralessness might make Ozpin liable to being beaten, but so to Jaune.

"Didn't you wish to subvert me? " A chair was grabbed, and Jaune yelped when-at blurry green speeds-Ozpin threw a chair at him. It landed off a random table, and hit the wall above several students, who shrieked back in shock. "Come then! Meet your maker!"

Another chair, and another moment Jaune dodged, grimacing while tactfully reaching forward. One chair at a time, until Jaune remembered his sembalance had things to aid him, and promptly sent the chairs back.

They played impromptu ping pong: Jaune would halt the trajectory of a chair, push it back, and with insane speed and precision, Ozpin would strike the seat back. Often even stronger then Jaune's own throwback. Their sembalances were at this stage pretty equal.

It went on and on: Jaune climbed a table, dodging one chair, swiveling around, and dodging another, crouching low and focusing his pole magic. Ozpin inched closer, and even hopped onto the table as well.

"You didn't make me, bastard!" He roared, feeling himself lift several chairs at once, the metallic grey of his pole magic making the constructs stationary and pliable. Perfect to hoist in the air and chuck at an entertained old man. "I made me! My struggles did!"

Ozpin didn't answer, and instead withdrew into himself, seeing him breath out and push the in flight chairs onwards. At full speed, at several different angles. The situation gave Jaune a moment of clarity, to watch a Ozpin's reactions for what they were, and draw his own solutions from it.

Namely, how Ozpin's energy suddenly condensed, a torrent of fast paced influence almost draconian in its fervor.

The upper left chair hurdling towards him was expertly-and closely-dodged. The lower right and its associate chairs launched themselves too, and Ozpin slammed his bread into the first offender, sending it into the ceiling. The other chair was horizontally launched over to the side, to the judges side. Port grumbled from far away, something about not wanting to loose his head in the mix up.

Ozpin pushed onwards though, seeing Jaune collecting himself and looking for an opportunity. Despite his light tiredness, Jaune roared, and strived to meet him.

They did: bread to bread, man to man. Ozpin swung low, Jaune blocked low and-with both hands-swung above the head and vertically into the shoulder. He was blocked, and shoved forward. The old man pushed his advantage further.

Chipped-but still sturdy-bread swiped at his ankles, a brief torrent of literally energetic mayhem looking to sweep Jaune off his feet and surely deal primal punishment. Jaune was forced to step back constantly, and block from essentially all ankles. Up, down, left, right, to his cheek, to his balls. Ozpin's technique had no restraint.

As Jaune made good distance, he called upon the gauntlet once more, and felt several chairs in his possession. More so, he grabbed a few more, letting some chairs momentarily circle around him, while others floated up a bit more, ready for throwing. All the hours and touchy touch with Pyrrha was paying off! Jaune grinned, gripping his gauntlet tight with one hand, and holding his acquired bread out in challenge.

Ozpin remained silent, focused, all the more when he rushed towards the just then launched sets of chairs. Once again, the greenish energy came, and Jaune really eyeballed it. Noticing in some things:

One, Ozpin-as he weaved up and below the chairs trying to skewer him and his bread-only activated the power in short bursts.

Two, the power was strong enough to bypass conventional huntsman Aura power and allow Ozpin to preform equal feats as to it.

Three, as Jaune prepared to meet the old man again, the power wasn't bulging Ozpin's muscles, and more like...quickening it.

Jaune felt his eyes widen, and arms ache, as Ozpin catapulted himself onto his guard. The unprepared for impact send them both backwards, Jaune first, who felt himself get absolutely drenched and cluttered with the disgusting foodstuffs of his peers. He eventually regained trajectory, right after he flopped off the table, and rolled around in misery.

"We've got more to do, Jaune!" Ozpin taunted, from atop the table, relatively clean compared to his embittered opponent crawling to his feet. "Or, have you accepted that the high ground is the ultimate predictor of victory?"

Jaune coughed, and forced himself back into stance, pushing away the budding exhaustion. In a way, the intense music in the background gave an illusion of confidence, which helped Jaune formulate his own genuine kind. Jaune felt his bread up, and pointed it at the man on high. "Only a boomer would deal in absolutes!"

"Oh? But student, that is a absolute!" Ozpin cackled, and put his sembalance power thing into his arms. "Now face judgement!"

Jaune breathed. In and out. Over and under. Up and down. Wait-

Ozpin flipped again, coming down to likely deliver a devastating blow to his midsection, but Jaune saw the speed for what it was: it was intensified onto Ozpin's body, and had no effect on the speed of gravity itself. Only the physical movement Ozpin produced. Therefore...

The bread was gripped, and with a collected nerve, Jaune side-stepped and swung outwards, feeling secret jubilation at the sound of Ozpin's choked growls, and the sight of him getting launched onto a random table. He himself getting covered in sipped on Orange juice, and most certainly not looking happier for it. This time, Jaune pushed his advantage.

Pure blooded Arc testosterone fulfilled his every core, every crevasse. It's why when Ozpin glared defiance from his current table bound rut, bread rearing, Jaune kept charge, bread primed for contact. Though Ozpin firstly pushed back and scored a direct hit across his abdomen, Jaune pushed through him, and over the table top. Sliding them both off it's surface. To the roaring cheer of the people. To the muffled groan of the old man below him, as he grabbed at Jaune's shirt, baffled at the rough contact with the floor.

The bread was then forgotten in a sea of random food shit-tomatos and the like-splattered and scattered across the floor.

As Jaune lorded over the outmaneuvered old man, he raised his fist up high, grinning at the way Ozpin's eyes widened.

Admirable, really: though Ozpin's guard was swift and effective, specially for being straddled so controlling out of nowhere.

Jaune's purely unfiltered musculature fueled his assault, and would have failed had Aura been a thing: one jab connected with Ozpin's abdomen, the other was blocked, and Ozpin struggled to flip their positions. Luckily, Jaune threw another quick sucker punch, and pushed his offensive when Ozpin choked out his next breath.

Two more punches hit their marks across Ozpin's face, and a third one was on its way, until Ozpin's tight grip caught the offending fist, and outraged veiny brown meet horrified ocean blue. Until those blues probably lost about all their luster, and had their body get launched at the hands of a greenish energized fist of crippling might burying itself in his stomach. Multiple tables were romped upon, and Jaune felt himself get helpfully pushed back into the fighting zoom, as he hit the edges of the crowd somewhere mid flight.

Everything was a blur, especially the people, and even his friends and lovers, who shouted their own encouragement. From Yang to even Weiss, they all shouted for him to do something. Jaune spat a wad of blood, and shakily watched Ozpin do the same, albeit with a lot less blood and a lot more righteous anger.

Ozpin approached, dirty lunch tray in hand, and snarl crinkled on his jawline. "I'm quite impressed, Jaune."

"Yeah?" He hissed back, trying bravado the nerves inside him out, marginally working. "I'm not here for your love and tolerance, I'm here to beat you into submission."

It didn't halt Ozpin's power walk, neither his face cracking a small grin and chuckle. "Good, then. I ran out of that a long time ago. But here?" He twirled the tray, and pounded on it's surface. "I've got an entire school's worth of these, Jaune. And I plan on using them."

He did too, and grabbed a tray himself, eventually circling Ozpin just as he circled him. Mere few away, and liable to crack their tense facade at a moment's notice and roar into contact. But, until then, they stared, and the people watched with bated breath, much included his own girls.

"Sempai! You got this!" That's Ruby, who was bouncing up and down anxiously, excitedly. "Don't let up!"

"Yes, listen to Ruby, Jaune! Ozpin's flesh is weak! Go for the kill!" That's Pyrrha, who was flanked by a nervous Velvet and baffled Yang. Weiss and Blake were thiguhtfully quiet.

Ozpin noticed his hesitation, and hummed, still keeping stride. "I'd like to point, Jaune?"

"..-oh, hm?"

Light chuckling, and then a somber tone, laced with that excitement from earlier, raw and primal. "I would like to point out that I've been steadily increasing my 'difficulty level' so to speak, and am not simply going to stand idly by while you rain blows down on me." The green energy came back again, like a posionus snake, moving up and down his torso. "I might be old, and out of practice, but in these old bones? The soul and blood of greatness still remains supreme. I am a biological vessel for light, Jaune."

"What, like a hero?"

"Exactly like a hero." The tray was chambered, and the green energy bunched up in his hands. "Now let's see you grit those teeth like I have!" In a flash, Ozpin crouched low, and rocketed forward. Meeting his guard, meeting his tray, and once again, meeting Jaune face to face.

The trays connected, then re connected as Ozpin's overhand slash was deftly side blocked by his tray's bottom. It next met in a flurry of jabs and vertical slashes, each one primed for Jaune's center, and each one continually blocked and deflected. But only so, as by the time one attack ends, Ozpin reared back for another. Even if the jab prior was reflected and driving Ozpin's tray off kilter, the green energy kept things impossibly fast. Impossibly too untouchable.

Until Jaune had an idea, and sacrificed his chest to a flurry of painful blows for an excruciatingly long moment. It hurt, and he already felt the bruises and popped blood vessels, but it was enough. Jaune's tray connected, after he shoulder checked the off guard old man and made room to strike. Preferably, enough to deck an old man across the face.

Which he did: inbetween the punishment, Jaune tray-slapped Ozpin so fucking hard that his head bobbled to the side, and before the old man could do so much as choke out an expletive, Jaune shoved his tray in his throat, and pushed.

Ozpin staggered back, and it gave him room to comfortably summon several chairs, and promptly layer them fuckers on the old man mercilessly. It sent him flying, and covered him in a quickly increasing pool of violently controlled and thrown chairs. Ozpin wasn't even seeable after a few seconds, and it brought forth a victorious scream from Jaune's lips. He was doing it! He was beating Ozpin!

All the angst, the lack of control and power, the man on high taking and taking, it all came down to now, as the people gasped and mumbled at the chair dogpile silently still. The proverbial grave of one Headmaster to another, and the mark of Jaune's ascension. His breath was bated, and his soul was-even thoguh partially muted at the moment-dancing in joy, in hopes and dreams yet to be realized.

Jaune grinned, and put some extra pressure-

It exploded, and out came an already more raggedly pissed off Headmaster. Bruised, bloody, yet all the more likely to do something radically dangerous. The glow of his sembalance chargin up throughout his body like an actual bulge of muscle made Jaune gasp, and work doubly hard to throw as many chairs as possible. But it didn't work, and Ozpin moved.

Well, he less so moved, and more so blurred to dark forest greenery life, dodging chairs and rushing not just to Jaune, but to a table. Without pause or clear intent, just rushing and rushing and-

Oh. Jaune choked, then jolted along with the rest of the people, as Ozpin single handedly flipped an entire table with his hands, and violently body slammed it forwards.

Full speed, right to Jaune, and more importantly, right past Jaune and out the window. It took him with it, and in a flash, Jaune found himself sailing across the open ended courtyard, under the falling midday sun.

Wiith nothing more then his screaming lungs, active gauntlet, and school lunch tray, Jaune found himself tagging along to a fully sized lunch table as it thumped across the stone tiles of Beacon. All the way to the statue. Jaune connected tray first with it, bouncing off and onto his back therein.

In a little pool of trays, foods, liquids, and chipped wood, Jaune looked up at the sky, and found himself in a lot of physical misery. Mental misery too, if Ozpin's distant form power walking outside the broken window-flanked by the student body-was anything to go by. Jaune couldn't understand the things being shouted, but the steady stride and confident smirk on Ozpin's face told Jaune many things.

Cheif amoung them? Jaune wasn't ready for this shit, so he did the best thing available, and ran for Ozpin's tower. One last hurrah, and one last attempt at greatness. Ignoring the hurt, and the way his wrists' felt weirdly bent out of shape.

Somehow, someway.

---

He strut across his Kingdom, and thought it quite good.

His children? Partially mixed and divided, like any worthwhile democracy would be. All fully fixable within fhe next few weeks, post Vale Remembrance day, give or take. Ozpin was used to entire peoples eventually going back from their rather outdated ways and accepting something new. Only, Jaune-as he ran quickly the courtyard-wasn't the change this time. The 'boomer' was, and plans to revamp the system.

Perhaps, that's doubting the Arc's capabilities: Ozpin frowned, feeling the blood caking his features and staring at the blood that came off. Jaune did this, and Ozpin felt it obligatory to congratulate the Arc's opportunist tendencies and sight for restraint. But now? As Ozpin walked his courtyard? Flanked by his curious and concerned student body? He had lost all propriety to hold back. In particular, his sembalance.

Gylnda came to him then, a question on her mind, no doubt. Over the quickly voluming crowds behind him, Ozpin hummed, and addressed the haggard young woman. "Yes, Glynda?"

"Has it ended?" Stressed, comparatively open to him, then say, the rest of Beacon society. Simply the way the cookie crumbles. "Jaune isn't anywhere to be seen, and loathe as I am to show open contempt right now, Jaune did have this coming."

Ironic, as the most apparent compliant he's ever gotten was the fact Glynda unfairly treated her charge. Which, admittedly, was very much the case. Things will have to be rectified, especially how Ozpin acts and rules his lot. The claim of incompetency might've been right after all, so what else is he to do?

Well, for one: Ozpin let Jaune run off, and gave the grumpily approaching Peter Port a pointed stare, ignoring his flustered deputy in the process. All in due time, however, as she'll be there ti serve until death, on that, Ozpin is certain. "Peter, you didn't mention a...'ring out' when calling out the rules, did you?"

He paused, watched Jaune run off into the distance, and shook his head. "No, we're technically still fighting." Port turned around, and bellowed to the masses. "Hear that, everyone?! We are still fighting!"

Roar and circus reached their ears, and Ozpin let loose a tired sigh. "Glynda, Port?" They looked him over, while Ozpin eyeballed the blonde fool he's cultivated rush not just off in the distance, but to the highest distance. "Jaune is heading for my tower, and probably planning to hijack it."

Ruby Rose rushed in then, followed by Jaune's other assortment of fascinatingly loyal young girls. In her rush to talk Ozpin up, she bumped into Glynda, who hissed out a warning, and would've expressed her seething rage at Ruby's subsequent blowing of a raspberry, had not Professor Peach stepped in and distracted her.

Far too confidently for Ozpin's liking, Ruby looked up at him, demandingly. "Where's my boyfriend?"

Her sister groaned, and Ozpin himself could empathize with experiencing an Arc's emotional rollercoaster, truly. Sighing, and rubbing an old, worn, and veiny hand up his scalp, Ozpin addressed the silver eyed rebel, and her boyfriend's gaggle of friends. "He's rushing off to my tower, perhaps to stall the fight out, make it a conflict of attrition."

"Eh?" She mumbled, tilting her head. "I totally wouldn't past my boyfriend"-once again, Yang Xiao long verbally hinged her misery-"to do something super dope like that, but wouldn't it be kinda incorrect to call it an attrition thingy?"

Oh, Lord. Ozpin is going to develop migraines and Alzheimer's at this rate. "No. No Miss Rose...it's very correct." The other girls-and his own female subordinates-gave him a collective curious look. "Do think rationally here child, what is the difference between me and Jaune?"

"...ehhhm, personality?"

Weiss Schnee seemed ready for interruption, thought on it, and let Ruby stew in her own mind's cesspool. Ozpin felt the metaphorical tumors bloom on his addled, still alchol fueled, miserable existence of death and rebirth. So he continued. "Ruby, do look at me?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm old, Ruby." He grumbled, patting his chest and wincing at the bruises undernearh. "I'm old and without Aura, surely Professor Port can attest to the physical hurt high intensity conflict can create without it." Peter nodded, and he supposed to speak further honesty. "I cared not about it, but I was a fool to give Jaune an opportunity to proverbially flex his youthfulness on me, in absence of our regular body protection." His sembalance might've empowered him, but it didn't protect or heal. Jaune thus has Monty's advance of natrually healing and taking blows better. For now, until Ozpin finds a way to circumvent these terribly contrived Aura limiters.

Weiss did speak up then. "So why did you fight him, or entertain any of this?"

"Good question." Ozpin noted, and shrugged. "I'll tell you when I hurt less, and can't feel my ankle swolling in absence of Aura to heal it. Please wait for me to drag my problem child back down here in the meantime, yes?"

They all collectively groaned, Weiss most of all, as she flicked her hair and squawked indignation. "I swear, Dolt, they're tit for tat in irresponsibility! Unbelievable..."

Blake popped in then, smirking, and slighty over the girl's shoulder. "You're the woman who internalized her oppression though, so you've got no room to whine. I, though? Most defintely-"

"Blaaaake!" Ruby whined. "Stop victimizing yourself and help me vicitmize Jaune! We need to rally the people and stuff!"

Ozpin watched the proceeding bickerings henceforth, then casually glanced at his fellow teachers, who all frowned in some degree of internal monologue going very existential. So, Ozpin cleared his throat, and walked on.

"I'll end this." He promised, and premtively cracked his shaky hand. The dip in adrenaline wasn't doing Ozpin wonders, Port showed his sympathies. "Do wait here for further instruction, and keep my children in proximity."

Despite the equalizing Aura limiters, the crowd's approval of youthful obligation, and their current Headmaster's simplicity, Ozpin had to still push through the political hogwash and violently vault his wayward Arc back into the light.

It's the best apology he's got, and prays it'd convince Jaune more then it'd convince himself.

---

The elevator reached the top, and Ozpin stepped out.

Nothing was diffrent, the scenery was methodically decorated and deisgned, cogs and forest green galore. Just as Ozpin intended, how wonderful.

Yet, a distrubance in The Aura reached him, in the form of one Jaune Arc disrespectfully looting his desk for something. Pulling open cabinets and chucking papers all over the place. It was enough to make him audibly hiss, and strut on over. "Jaune Arc!-"

"Actually," another paperstack met the floor, and his little terrorist burped out his following slyaboles. "It's Jaune D'Arc, old man. Though I'm sure you wouldn't-"

"I do, boy." Peeved on levels so impassively profund, Ozpin snatched a loose paper stack from Jaune's grimmy grip, glaring at him in condemnation. "It's symbolic of maturity and confidence in identity, which you lack, child."

Jaune frowned. "Okay then, but how the fuck would you known, though!" He had the further audacity to just stand there, hands thrown up in visible frustration. "I'm just trying to find some answers here, and maybe secure a victory not from strength, ya know?-"

Ozpin strut around his desk, and poked Jaune in the chest. Hard. Enough to stagger the boy and make that teenage angst bloom outside him all the more. "Let me tell you this, Arc: simply surrender now, and I'll work out a fair deal-"

"Fuck your deals, old man!" Jaune pushed Ozpin away, and picked up a pen off his desk, holding it like a particularly sharp knife. "I want you not here! Or in my life in general, you're annoying and tell me what to do! So screw you and your optics!"

Ozpin wanted to comment further, but grimaced, feeling Jaune slamming into him and tossing the offguard old man to the side. By the glass. The Arc held the pen up high, grinning, and violently so. "I'll finally be free when you're defeated, Ozpin! I'll be the means of production and rule from up above!"

Ozpin groaned, staggering back up to his feet, feeling the bruises of metallic chair borne misery ghosting on his flesh. "You'll be a fool with a pretty face, you need help."

"I need freedom! And Truth!" Jaune adavanced, clicking the pen on and off.

It angered Ozpin, very much so. "I know, and can help you understand! I made you! I handcrafted your lot in this institution and can tell you all the secrets there are, if you'd just listen-"

"And obey? Nah." Jaune was upon him now, and Ozpin was forced to put Auraless and aging muscles against the vertible juggernaut of angst and anger he's made. It was enough to hold him off a few inches back, and nothing else. "I'm my own king, and you'll see that's fuckin' factual." The Arc grinned, face so uncomfortably close to Ozpin's own grimace. "And it looks like you've slowed down too, where's the green-"

His sembalance kicked in again, and Ozpin-past the tirdness, sore muscles, sore ankle, blood caked face, and the desire to simply collapse-made a decision then. Grabbing Jaune by the shoulders again, blurring with limited power. Faster than Jaune could react, than he could knock him down.

Ozpin desperately needed Aura, and didn't wish to deal with an unruly Arc messing with his office, disrespecting him and his priorities, and futhermore destroying the peace of his Beacon.

So, he turned them around, to the glass, and growled his own angst onto Jaune's confused expression. "Fine, then let's take a leap of faith, and let me convince you otherwise!"

"Wha-"

What nothing. Ozpin pushed them off: the tower was forsaken, and they fell to their presumably imminent death. Shards of glass splintering down along the way. It's what Jaune concluded, as he screamed in his Headmaster's grip.

This was the only way Ozpin could get theough to him: violently expose the boy to potential death and showcase his care by saving him. It was flawless and had no falling outs. Besides them, that is.

The courtyard was already in sight, students near and far huddled close around the cafeteria's outer edges. They could even see the dormitories, and the statue. But Ozpin's personal favorite? The sound of Jaune's vitriolic terror, and the way it meshed so well with the fading sun. It brought a smile to his face.

Jaune shifted and shuddered. "What the fuck Ozpin!"

The wind pressure numbed his hearing, so Ozpin leaned into his Arc shield and roared in equal volume. If not louder. "We'll be fine! Pull out your shield!"

Jaune grimaced, and looked a little green. "My what-"

"Your shield!" He insisted, already unsheathing his cane, and baring it high. "Now stay calm! I'm going to cut off the armband and let you save our lives!"

"How?-wait, know what?" Jaune cackled, leaning his head up to the sky. "Fuck it, you're an inconsistent old bastard, Oz!"

A swift strike of the weakly protected armbands-they were prototypes after all, that just so happened to work-broke them truly well and good, so Ozpin resheathed his cane. Their Aura quickly exploded forth a moment later, and the enitre mood of their descent was relaxed. Relatively, as Jaune's expression looked all the more sickly every moment.

Ozpin laughed, and felt the burdens of being an immortal soul rencarnating into another soul over and over again forsake him. Down the memory hole and with the pain his once Auraless body dwelt with. Now, as their lights boosted their phsycial attributes, Ozpin realized something.

All these moments, these intensified chaoses, the laundry list of grievances, the struggles with leadership. Ozpin looked back at himself and what he's done for Jaune. He smiled.

Ozpin has found meaning in Jaune's suffering, and plans on putting his faith into the boy soon enough. So that he can tell Jaune about many, many things. Hopefully not too revealing of his inner turmoil, though. Wouldn't want the incurable depression to leak out, yes?

Ozpin shook Jaune excitedly, joyfully taking in the descent and hoping his student enjoyed it too. "Come, Jaune! Let us celebrate the moment, and forget our past misery!"

Jaune belched, and Ozpin found it quite positive, shaking him a bit more. "I truly appreciate these moments! We can make something out of this-"

"Oz." Jaune wheezed, knuckles white and gripping his unsheathed shield. "I don't feel so good, Oz-"

Ozpin saw the statue clearly now, and even the outlines of their teaching staff. It was so close, and he was ready. The Aura empowering his muscles and envigorating his soul was there, the failings of age were awash once more! "We can do this together! Watch us survive, hah!-"

A stream of yucky green sludge spewed from Jaune's gaping maw, and Ozpin felt blessed that it didn't touch him in anyway. Comfortingly, Ozpin rubbed soothing circles into the boy's back, tutting in concern. "Come now boy! We're almost there, prepare for contact!"

To Ozpin's utmost delight, Jaune listened, and with bright power glowing through his veins, Jaune's shield glowed with an equally profund mettalic grey. "Very good, now-"

Jaune glared at him from over his shoulder, groggy and pale faced. "I can't stop us from connecting with the ground, but I can slow and dull the impact. That is the only-"

"Jaune!" He yelled, gripping his back with one hand and pointing forward with the other. "Focus! Action is coming and you need to listen to me!"

Action was coming, and Ozpin heard Jaune's breath catch, feeling the boy's back stiffen. They were within eyesight now, and the gazes were slowly upon him. Screams and uncertainties expressed and confusion abound. "Ozpin, my friends are there!"

They were. Very loud too. "If you wish to see them, listen to this: skid on the ground and intensify your Aura!"

Jaune nodded, and let loose a shuttering breath. Their contact was imminent, and Ozpin hopes to survive together. "I, Jaune D'Arc, wish we never did this again in no capability whatsoever!"

Ozpin audibly nodded too. "I agree! And would like to offer you a position of power!"

Jaune paused, screamed to the Heavens, and growled out his unfortunate defiance. "I'm still trying to subvert you, motherfucker-"

"You're going to faint before me." Ozpin noted. "So how about this: how about I give you Gylnda's position, and tell you the proverbial redpill of our existence?!"

...

Ozpin smiled when Jaune at least considered that, and eyeballed the ground. Then, promptly, they both tightened up at the extremely close ground and Oh Lord-

They hit the ground sliding, metal sparking against stone, masking the sound of their relative panic at meeting solid ground with bowl emptying speeds. It didn't halt under Jaune's mettalic influence, but Ozpin could only shudder at the fact they'd surely have been squashed if not Jaune's sembalance.

It was bumpy, loud, and dozens were caught in their trajectory. Luckily, after the first few poor souls knocked unconscious by their horribly-in hindsight-controlled fall, they cleared a path. A striaght line leading all the way back to the cafeteria, but only with the statue in the way prior.

They saw Jaune's friends, and the horror blooming on their faces, Ruby in particular, who was latched onto Glynda in a panic. "-Ozpin!"

He could barely hear Jaune's desperate cry over the sound of his own indecision, but nevertheless, he hollered back his own response. Jaune grimaced up at him from his back, as Ozpin took the liberty of actually ridinghis boyish trainwreck out as a precaution of not breaking his old man bones down, though Ozpin would never admit that to his face, not yet at least. "We're going to connect, Jaune! What's the issue!?"

"Nothing, look-"

Ozpin squinted, and saw Glynda rearing back, storing her purple power in her wand and pushing outwards. the whiplash by th at point was alredy upon the two, as Glynda activotaed hertheoretical trap chard and stopped their flight dead cold. It ended with them floating on by, under the exicted cheers of the properly entertained student body and the collective foreskin might of Jaune's cultic ingroupings.

Silently, bafflingly, they plopped on the ground without any further fanfare, and quickly found themselves sourrunded by curoosity and attetnion. Ozpin hinself had to forcibly push away several offending hands and shout for Glynda's portection. Which came to him with righteous fury, as Glynda-with precision-shifted several dozens of students back a peg, until they understood that this was still a matter of Headmaster status and gave them a wide birth.

Jaune stood up from his shakey shield based rutt, and groaned under the collective weight of Pyrrha Nikos and Ruby Rose dog pilling unto him, followed by a curious Velvet Scarlentina and WBY of Team RWBY. Most assuredly a tender moment for all involved, Ozpin couldnt help but silenty oogle it, even while Glynda pointedly patted him down, mumbling to herself.

Eventually Glynda spoke up, concerned and baffled as he once was. "Headmaster. that was incredibly reckless and nonsensical, why would you risk not only Jaune's life but your own as well?-"

"Glynda?" Ozpin licked his lips, and prepared himself for the greater good. "The fight is still on, and I have already decided the conditions of my victory."

She followed his gaze, as Jaune held onto Ruby, while assumingly talking something down to Weiss, who frowned. "...Very well, but what-"

Ozpin put the two milleniums of Aura understanding and sembalance manipulation to the proverbal chopping block and-with both supercharging his frail old coop body-pounced on the distracted Jaune. Before Yang Xiao Long could protest and stop him, or Blake Belladonna could do anything more then hiss in displeasure.

As Jaune didn't expect him making due on the rules and obligations bestowed upon him by Jaune's own traitorous Grimm studies teacher, the boy subsequently didn't expect Ozpin's full fledged old man body-hocked up on layers of stimulants both spiritual and not spiritual-to rain candid hellfire onto his Aura. In the course of thirty seconds, while the student body watched on in shocked silence, Ozpin beat his student into unconsciousness. For the greater good, for consistency.

Finished, Ozpin turned to his people, and-

Ow. OW. Ozpin shook his wrists, and realized that beating up an unsuspecting after Auraless martial combat absolutely killed his body. Already, the once again Headmaster staggered on his feet, living for the feeling of an untampered Aura healing his body from the ground up. As though he'd be a newborn babe in the world of Huntsman. He bathed in the glory, until Yang grabbed him by the collar, fury in her eyes.

Redness too, but Ozpin merely raised a brow, and saw the more personal women of Jaune's crowded around his bloodied form. Just like Ozpin, only younger and slightly less foolish. "You're a damn cheater, Ozpin!"

"Oh?" He hummed, feeling Yang shake him around a bit. "Nothing in the rules said one couldn't sneak onto their opponent."

Blake came in then, frowning. "But you both had Aura, shouldn't that disqualify?-"

Peter Port sighed, and shook his head. "It matters little, because Jaune himself tampered with my poor quality rule convention, and I believe we all know this was the likely outcome. Deep inside." People gossiped then, and watched this spectacle less like a sporting event, it seemed, and more like a drama. Fine by Ozpin, he was tired. "So this victory goes to Ozpin, and though we will plan a polling event of some kind, Ozpin is within full obligation to make any claim he so desired about the ramifications of his victory."

The quadroon of angry little girls-Pyrrha, Ruby, Velvet, and Nora-left their fallen leader and power walked onto Ozpin, but he was prepared, and announced his new and involved Proclamation. "I, Headmaster Ozpin, solemnly declare Jaune Arc as my deputy Headmaster!"

...

...

...

"Eh?" Said the Rose.

"Manipulation!" Squawked the Schnee.

"We're in it now, girls." Hissed the Belladonna.

"I'm feelin' pretty yangry right now!" Growled the-

Ozpin felt a hand grab his shoulder, it was needed, desperate. "H-Headmaster...?" It was Glynda, and not only that, but an emotional Glynda. A rare sight indeed, especially if accounting for the fourteen year gap in the time he's last seen it. "Do I not please you a-anymore...? I-I'm still faithful and-"

He nodded to himself, and patted the discounted dominatrix sympathetically, but nonetheless, he removed himself. Leaving her to crumble onto the stone tiles, and stare emptily into the fading sunshine. Ozpin paid none of the flabbergasted student body any particular mind after that, but he did regain his composure.

With grace, patience, and firmness, he addressed his disenfranchised children. "We will, henceforth, halt these petty games of ours, and focus solely on the goals our institution shall strive for." Ozpin glanced at Jaune, and the slow but steady pace his chest rose up and down. "And our Jaune Arc here has spoken truth to that, so therefore? I elect him as my right hand man."

"That is all." He monotoned. "Goodbye."

Like that, before anyone else can reasonably question Ozpin's supreme authority, The Headmaster tactfully jogged off. He had to clean his office, after all, and potentially purchase more alcohol.

Mostly the latter, Ozpin mused. Mostly the latter...

---

Alright boys, here it is.

Don't worry guys, Jaune will get Ozpin's stuff soon. I just couldn't logically see how Jaune could best Ozpin in a fight quite yet.

I'll probably notes to this later, but for now, ill leave it at that. Next chapter: Ruby and Jaune time! Oobleck's afternoon adventures, and a little bit of Roman.

Anyways, i'm tired, and have some school work to do. Later.