Momentary Weakness

January 1998
Aurora

Aurora stood in the greenhouse, looking out over the snow-covered landscape as she played with her locket. Shacklebolt and Tonks had left hours ago to see after Ellie and Ginny and said they had to check on a few things before they returned sometime in the evening. In her mind, she knew that she shouldn't have let her daughter return to Hogwarts, but Ellie had insisted. Told her not to worry, that she would be fine. Had run off on her own to make sure that she went back.

She really was more and more like Sirius. She clearly had his stubbornness, that was for sure. Or her own. Either way, it shouldn't have surprised her that she'd act this way. She had already admitted to Remus that she would have run away herself if she had been placed in the same situation. Though it didn't make the decision anymore right. Just shown her that she didn't have much of a leg to stand on when it came to arguing with Ellie about it.

Swallowing, Aurora looked down at the locket, once again wishing that he was here. He would know what to say to calm her down. Would know what to do to keep their daughter safe.

But he wasn't there.

Sighing, she turned back to her plants, hoping to find something there to comfort her and help her to relax. She waved her wand, soft music filling the room as she then picked up her sheers and began pruning the roses. While it was helping somewhat, she still couldn't help the nervous energy coursing through her. Energy that wouldn't abate until Shacklebolt and Tonks returned that night and told her that Ellie was safe. Perhaps not even then, knowing that the Carrows had the run of Hogwarts. Why had she let her return? She shouldn't have, especially when she was stuck inside the manor, unable to go out and do anything. She couldn't even protect her own daughter.

Aurora gasped as she stepped back and looked down at the pinprick of blood on her finger from the thorn. She stared at it a moment, watching as the thick, red liquid welled up, concentrating on the sting.

"Let me."

She looked up, not hearing Remus as he had walked in. He took her hand in his and gently blew on the prick. Her breath hitched slightly as she was unable to take her eyes from his. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wrapped it around her finger and then kissed it gently. Still unable to talk, she felt the tears well up in her eyes as he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.

"She'll be safe," he murmured into her hair.

"We don't know that," she replied. Even though he said it often, she couldn't bring herself to fully believe it.

"She's strong, Rora. And McGonagall and the others won't let anything happen to her," he said. Aurora stepped back, looking into his eyes.

"I can't help but think he's got something planned. That he's going to try and take her," she whispered. "I know that she's not telling me things."

"Have faith, Rora. She'll be okay," he said.

"But at what cost?" she asked, breathlessly. He didn't reply, just pulled her back into his arms, gently rubbing her back as she cried softly. He could feel his heart breaking for her. Aurora wasn't the only person concerned for Ellie's safety. Every day while she was at school, he watched for owls from McGonagall, praying that each one would carry news that she was still safe. Though he couldn't help but worry how long they would come.

Things were getting bad. Very bad. He had heard from the others just what was happening at Hogwarts, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth, knowing that she would stop at nothing to bring Ellie back home and keep her here and end up doing something to put herself in unnecessary danger. Or finally drive herself mad with worry. She was already halfway there as it was. It was for her own mental health that he kept it from her and hoped that Ellie and the others were as strong as he believed they were.

"I don't know what I would do if I lost her," Aurora whispered. She looked up at him, tears staining her pale cheeks. "Any of you…"

They stared at each other a moment and Remus knew it was a foolhardy move. She was obviously distraught, her worry taking over. That he was likely taking advantage of that. But he couldn't stop himself as he leaned forward slightly. But then he stopped, remembering what he had promised himself. He wouldn't kiss her again. If it were to happen, it had to be her choice.

But then he was surprised when she responded, her hands gripping his shirt as she pulled him closer, bringing his lips to meet hers. He wasn't sure why she was kissing him, her lips moving urgently against his, but he couldn't bring himself to stop or push her away. She had pushed him away every other time and he had assumed this would no different.

And just as he was confused, Aurora felt a swirl of emotions coursing through her. But for once, she ignored everything as her hands moved from his chest up around his neck. She knew that Mitsy was watching the baby and for once, she just wanted to give in and not care about anything for a time. It had been over a year since Sirius died. Over a year since she had been this close, this intimate with anyone. And for a moment, she wanted to feel that close to someone again. Specifically, to feel that close to Remus.

After some time, Remus finally back away from her, staring down into her blue eyes as they both breathed heavily. He wasn't sure what to say to her in that moment. He knew that he should end things here before they both gave in and did something they might regret, but oh, how he wished that things would continue.

Finally, Aurora stepped out of his arms, looking away, though she didn't let go of his hand, pulling him behind her as she silently walked out of the greenhouse and through the manor. They had started up the stairs before he realized what exactly was going on. He should stop this, knowing how conflicted Aurora was, but he found that he couldn't. She started down the hall towards her room, but instead, he pulled her towards his, pushing the door open.

As soon as he stepped in and turned around, Aurora's lips were on his as she kicked the door shut with her foot, the two of them stumbling back a few steps.

"Rora," he said breathlessly, pushing her back as he searched her eyes. He swallowed. "Are you sure about this?"

She didn't say anything, just nodded as she closed the distance, her lips once again upon his.

"I don't want to think about anything right now," she whispered. "I don't…"

Aurora laid on her side, staring at the wall as she pulled the duvet up a bit higher. She could feel Remus' arm around her waist, pulling her closer in his sleep. She had pushed everything aside for a time, but now that she was lying there, seemingly alone in her thoughts, it all came pouring back.

Closing her eyes, she tried to stop the tears, but they sprung forward regardless, silently falling down her cheeks. She reached up and wiped them away, but others took their place. The urge to get away was suddenly overwhelming.

Quietly, she sat up and looked over her shoulder, seeing Remus still asleep though his arm fell from her. As softly as she could she got up and pulled on her trousers and shirt, gathering up the rest and then softly leaving the room. Making her way down the hallway, she crept to her room and shut the door behind her, taking a deep breath as she leaned against it a moment.

Her knees gave out as she fell into a crumpled heap on the floor, sobs now wracking her body.

"What did I do?" she whispered, looking around the empty room as though she might find some answer there. But there was none. "I'm so sorry, Sirius… I shouldn't have… I'm so sorry…"

Leaning over, she dropped her face into her hands as she continued sobbing loudly, calling out for Sirius a few times before she fell over onto her side. How could she have done this to him?

Remus leaned his forehead against the door, shutting his eyes as he heard Aurora sobbing on the other side. He couldn't make out everything she was saying, but one word was clear.

Sirius.

He knew that he should have stopped them from doing what they did. But he had given in just as she had, even though he knew that they would both regret it. He still felt very strongly - he knew that he loved Aurora - but he also knew that she wasn't ready for this. It was too soon. He had pushed her too quickly.

And if this was anything to go by, she may never move on.

Sighing, he stepped back and stared at the door a moment before turning and making his way back to his room. He knew what he needed to do. He just needed to do it now before he lost his nerve.

Aurora made her way downstairs to the kitchen the next morning after checking in on the baby. Ryan was still fast asleep and she had gotten lost staring at him for a bit. He would need a haircut soon enough. But she couldn't help herself as she reached out and gently touched his chubby cheeks, drinking in his long lashes as they fanned out.

He reminded her so much of Sirius even when asleep that it hurt.

But then she had pulled herself away, letting him sleep on while she went downstairs. It was going to be awkward, that she knew, but there was no sense in putting it off. She and Remus would have to learn how to be around each other - whether he moved back to the cottage or not, he would be around the manor. And they would most definitely need to talk about what happened last night.

After she had cried herself dry, she sat up late into the night, thinking it over. She wasn't ready for something serious, this she knew, but perhaps it was time that she took steps to move forward. Aurora knew that it couldn't be healthy to spend her nights crying over a love that was gone. Perhaps she should consider moving on. And she could not deny the fact that she was feeling something towards Remus.

Besides the fact they had long been friends and he knew her better than anyone, she knew that he was good with the baby and Ellie. He hadn't been lying when he told her that he cared for them as though they were his own. Perhaps there was a future there. Not to mention, it was getting harder to tell herself that she didn't care for him in that way. Lately, every time she thought it or said it out loud to herself, it was feeling more and more like a lie.

"Aurora," Shacklebolt said as she walked in. She paused, not expecting to see him there, though she shouldn't have been surprised. She pulled her robe tighter around her and offered him a warm smile as she went over to the tea kettle on the stove.

"Morning, Shacklebolt," she said, pouring herself a mug. "When did you get in?"

"Later last night. Didn't see you around, so got something to eat and turned in early," he said. Aurora felt her cheeks heat up as her thoughts turned to what had transpired and she hoped that the auror was none the wiser. Though even if he did suspect, she knew he wouldn't dare mention it. "Ellie got off fine."

"Good," she said, bringing the mug to her lips and blowing on it lightly. "Remus still asleep?" She kept her back to him, hoping that she wasn't blushing.

"He left early this morning," he replied. Aurora's eyes widened as she turned to face him. What? He left?

"Where did he go?" she asked, feeling her heart drop suddenly. Surely it was just some errand and he would be back soon. Shacklebolt shifted on his feet, looking at the floor. This couldn't be good. "Where is he?" Shacklebolt finally looked up and met her eyes. He sighed and reached for an envelope in his robe pocket and handed it to her.

Aurora took it and quickly opened it, scanning the contents of the letter. She felt her heart stop for a moment as she closed her eyes, trying not to cry.

I am so sorry for my actions last night…

I should have stopped. I know that you're not ready… It was selfish of me…

I am going away for a time. Please do not follow me. It is for the best. I think that we need some time apart to figure things out… We both need to think about this…

But know that I do care for you, Rora...

Aurora took a deep breath and held the letter to her chest as she met Shacklebolt's eyes, silently questioning him.

"He left to go to some of the werewolf packs," he said. Aurora frowned.

"But… I thought he had given up on that," she said, her heart stopping again. "When he failed the last time…"

"He thinks that he can convince some to come around," Shacklebolt replied.

"But… I… they could… it's dangerous," she said, her mind whirling. Why had he gone on perhaps the most dangerous assignment that he could think of? Had she pushed him to do this?

"He knows, Aurora," Shacklebolt said softly. "He'll be okay."

"But… you don't know that," she said, her voice rising. "He could be killed or, or, what if they hurt him?" Shacklebolt took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "You know where he is. Where did he go?"

"He said you would ask that. And that I'm not supposed to tell you," Shacklebolt said. "Only to tell you that he will be fine. If it gets too dangerous, he'll come back."

"But even you must see how incredibly reckless this is!" she shouted. "You let him go!"

"He needed to do this, Aurora," Shacklebolt's voice rising to match her own. "He didn't tell me why, but I could see it in his eyes. He needed to get out of here." Aurora went silent, taking a few steps back from him. She looked down at the letter again, knowing that it was true. And that she was the reason he needed to leave.

What she would give to go back to yesterday and undo what had happened.

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up again. But at that moment the baby monitor squawked. She looked over at it, hearing the baby start to fuss. She wiped her cheeks and put the letter on the counter.

"I need to… I need to see after the baby," she said, turning and leaving the kitchen.

It didn't matter if Remus was out on some mission to get himself killed, she needed to take care of her son.