hi did u miss me im gonna do two short chapters in a row just because

I knew that everyone knew. I knew that everyone had seen my eyes when I screamed and they all had their own thoughts and feelings about it and they had all talked it out with one another and I knew how they would look at me. It made me sick, like my heart was caught in my throat and my stomach was knotted and rotted. So instead of having to face those eyes, I ran my phone over with my Jeep and locked myself in my room.

Dad rubbed the top of my head, smoothing my hair and making it electric and stick up at the ends. "How do you know Embry told everyone honey? Maybe he just kept it to himself, like a good friend would."

For a moment, I contemplated just telling him. Opening my mouth and telling Dad that Embry is a werewolf and so is Seth and all of their friends, and that they could read each others thoughts and ate vampires and slept outside my window. "Embry isn't my friend, and even if he was he wouldn't be a good one." This was another version of the truth; the thought of Embry's words and face and the tone of his voice when he told me he thinks I'm a bitch made me want to throttle him. "I know he told everyone."

Dad tutted, disapproving and judging. "He is your friend, Alex. I know you wouldn't have confided in him if you didn't trust him. And he wouldn't have gone through all of that trouble if he didn't care about you either."

"Right, a good friend would call me a bitch and tell me that I don't deserve love or a good relationship. Embry's great. And, I wouldn't exactly call him bullying me into a confession 'confiding.'"

He frowns. "Don't tell Baba he said that to you. I don't want to have to cover up a murder." Dad laughs, and looks down at me for a chuckle but I still feel sick and drained so I look back up at him blankly. "C'mon, honey. What's it gonna take to get you back to yourself?"

I thought about it. I thought about what 'myself' meant and how it felt and whether or not I was myself before this happened. I wondered when the last time I was myself. I wondered who she was and I guess I wondered for so long that Dad started to notice. "Maybe Baba was right; maybe it was too soon for you to get involved with boys again. Maybe we should give you a curfew or something."

"Like I wouldn't just climb through the window and sneak out. You guys aren't really the curfew type. Like, I've never even been grounded."

"Oh, that reminds me, you're grounded for running your phone over."

"For how long?"

"Hmmm, until you're forty."

I leaned into Dad's shoulder and closed my eyes. "Okay, that's fair."

I knew I had to talk to Seth. I was running out of options and I guess the imprinting magic made it so I felt like I was getting stabbed whenever I was away from Seth. The problem being I really did not want to. I didn't want to talk to him about what I told Embry and I knew he had a lot of things to say and probably some violent inclinations I couldn't bear to indulge. But I knew I had to.

My first option was to put myself in some sort of mortal danger. Like, I could drive to some vampire infested area and prick my fingers until some ice cold monster showed up and, hopefully, Seth would show up and rip its head off. Or I could break my leg in the middle of a hike or give myself a concussion on some rocks and require a minor form of rescuing. It didn't take me long to think this plan was fucking dumb.

Second, I could walk up to Seth's door and talk to him. I thought this plan was the most unachievable.

When Dad fell asleep on the couch, I enacted my third plan. I closed the front door gently and walked, thinking that if the first plan happened naturally, then that wasn't my fault.

Embry's house was a small one story ranch with a front door that echoed when I knocked it. My hands were shaking and my heart was thumping and I was wondering when I became so brave. The door swung open to reveal a face I had hoped I'd never see again. "Hey, can we talk?"

He nodded, and opened the door wider. I was surprised to see him wearing a shirt, and his hair was messy like he just woke up. He wordlessly lead me to his living room and sat down on the couch. I stood. "Alex, I just wanna say-"

"I don't really want to hear whatever it is. I wanna talk." He nodded. I sighed. I thought it if I opened my mouth either words or vomit would come out. "Listen, I don't really like you. I mean, you're pushy and rude and you involve yourself in my life when I don't ask you to and I definitely don't want you to. And you pushed me to the point when I told you something I never wanted to tell anyone. And now everyone knows, right? Does Seth know?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Seth knows."

"Great. Super. So, I just wanna know, why do you care so much about this? Why do you want to get so tangled up in mine and Seth's...relationship, or whatever it is. Like, I don't get it. No one else cares as much as you."

"Seth's my brother, Alex. I don't expect you to understand becuase-"

"Then why isn't Jacob jumping out of my car window? Why isn't Quil calling me a bitch for not talking to Seth? Why is it only you?"

Embry falters. He frowns and sighs and leans back. "Alex, I don't wanna get into this right now."

"I don't care."

"Alex-"

"You owe me."

"I told you I don't think imprinting has any merit to it. I think it's a trick and a scam. For years, I watched my friends throw away their lives and freedoms because of it, and some of them with fucking kids. It made me sick. And then you come along; you're rude, blunt, and mean. You don't care about what other people think and you're a fighter. You've been through so much shit and you're tough. And Seth is like, he's like a puppy. He's soft and happy-go-lucky and optimistic and everything that you're not. You're not like him, and you guys cause each other a stupid amount of pain. You're not compatible. How can imprinting make any sense when you're not perfect for him. You're perfect for someone else."

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think of anything and I had no response and I did nothing while Embry Call marched straight up to me and kissed me.

if u guys hate this ill delete it and write a new chapter i just wanted to publish something pls lemme know just wanna make yall happy :)