Kinda takes the title away for current longest chapter from the last one, huh?
I definitely did NOT wait until the last possible moment to edit/write this chapter, and have had this well planned for weeks already. Nope, nuh-uh, not me! I'm the epitome of the responsible adult, and I totally have my shit together. It's not like this is yet another Frankenstein-ed mishmash of other rejected or unwanted ideas from other chapters that were rearranged to suit the needs of the ever-changing, ever-evolving plot. Nah...
Then the time for being sad is over,
And you miss 'em like you miss no other,
And being blue is better than being over it, over it.
No one wants you when you have no heart and
I'm sitting pretty in my brand new scars and
You'll never know if you don't ever try again.
So let's try, let's try, let's try.
- Hallelujah - Panic! At the Disco
Paradoxical Predicaments Propagate Petulance
Koenma stared impatiently at the "nurse" while she gazed through the spy-bird's eyes, her attention focused solely on the red-haired girl sitting on the crate beside the green-clad delinquent.
The woman admired the boys energy for a moment, the bright, ethereal blue against white striking quite the image beside the conflicted colors that made up Hotaru. Pink, purple and white warred as they fought for dominance, finally settling down as the purple gained ground. It solidified, expanding to briefly tap against the boys aura before retreating with a satisfied glow. This was exactly the response the woman had been hoping for.
The boy was strong, his great power tied to his rather potent emotions. He was the perfect candidate for this task, and Hotaru seemed to have developed more than just a passing fondness for him. If they were lucky, it could evolve into an actual friendship. The boys tenacity combined with the girl's natural adaptability could easily make them an unstoppable force for good.
Not that the concept of "good" meant much to the "nurse" anymore. Good was rather subjective these days.
"Well? What's the percentage now?" the nearly-forgotten toddler prince asked, his nasally voice somewhat grating. "Mab!"
The woman sighed, rolling her eyes.
"There was a substantial jump to twenty-one percent. That's a five point increase in less than an hour's time, not counting the brief time it dropped below ten. It seems your boy is doing better than we projected."
"And that's good, right?"
Mab hummed thoughtfully, eyes fixed on the still-fluctuating pink that was trying to reclaim its territory on the soul.
"Yes and no. The change itself is good, but too much too quickly could result in an imbalance of emotions. Her attempts to rationalize the sudden changes could set her back. It seems we got lucky this time. I'd keep an eye on her more closely now, just to see how she handles the emotional influx. Hopefully, it will pass with minimal consequences."
Yusuke and I sat side by side against the alley wall of his favored restaurant, that of Yukimura's parents. Delivering the girl safely there was not nearly as difficult as I imagined, and the dinner rush was such that minimal questions were asked when Yusuke informed the middle-aged couple of their daughters sudden head-cold.
I was surprised when, upon being offered a traditional free meal, Yusuke managed to drag me along and include me in the meal plan. Though I've seen it portrayed in media, I didn't imagine the "any friend of Yusuke's is a friend of mine" trope would actually exist, let alone that I would be on the receiving end of such a bold statement. However, it wasn't terribly inaccurate. Despite my actions I still appeared to have a friend, as well as a full and satisfied stomach.
Despite Yusuke's best efforts, Kurama could not be convinced to stay, returning home shortly after the battle ended. I did manage to mark him with a healing rune before he left, as Botan's power was significantly drained. He seemed interested in the pen, and I was considering letting him borrow it for study. It was the least I could do after his impeccable timing had saved Yusuke's life. Though it seemed a coincidence, or some machination of fate, Kurama attested that he had felt the initial fight between Hiei and myself, and was already on his way to assist.
Coincidence or not, I was grateful for his interference. As I was, I would not have made it to Yusuke in time, and even with my spirit energy, I would have ultimately failed. Perhaps it was more evidence that we, as individuals, were weak. If that was the case, it was also evidence that there was certainly power in unity.
I closed my eyes, welcoming the darkness as a realm in which my thoughts could run freely.
It disturbed me greatly that I had been so easily swayed by Hiei's offer. As he continued to speak, I felt less and less myself. One might assume he was using his power over the mind to influence me, but there was nothing intruding. I remember quite well how it felt to have my mind broken into. It was not the same. My actions were my own, yet it felt as though I was only a passenger in my body, watching as I made all the wrong choices.
There are no wrong or right choices, only those that benefit you.
Hiei was right, in a sense. Not that it justified what I had done... what I had almost done. But I felt I didn't need justification, not much in the habit of lying to myseld. His offer did still appeal to me, most especially if Kazuma would be protected from the horrors of my world. However, I could not find it in myself now to ever accept, no matter how good it sounded. The freedom, while tempting, was never the best choice for me.
This, while not entirely better, felt somehow right. Despite this, there was still that nagging in the back of my mind, that single memory that refused to leave my thoughts.
~"DIABHAL! TÉIGH AMACH!"~
Those words were entirely foreign to me, rough and gutteral, yet flowing from each impossible collection of consonants to another with the utmost grace. It was a far cry from the almost lyrical quality of Japanese, and was reminiscent of something Nordic. The woman, with her empty black eyes, spoke the words to Hiei, not even sparing me a glance.
While I do detest the cliche questions, they must be asked. Who was she, and why in the world was she in my mind? ...Perhaps, the obstruction the Spirit World nurse spoke of? But then why would they not have told me it was another person? Did they even know what they were dealing with?
"You wanna tell me what the fuck happened back there?"
My eyes slid open, and I could see Yusuke looking at me from my periphery. I didn't need to look at him directly to know he was not smiling. For now, the thought of the screaming woman could be shelved.
"I would like to," I replied carefully. "But I'm afraid I don't know any more than you."
This answer did not satisfy him, and he leaned forward, trying to look at me head on. I gave my head a subtle tilt, avoiding his eyes as best as I could. It was inexplicable, but I think if I looked into his eyes now, I might retreat, either physcally leaving the area or simply sink further into my own mind with the internalized guilt his gaze was sure to induce.
"Okay, was Hiei doing something to your head? He had that eye, who knows what he could do with it." I hummed with a small smile, grateful to him for trying to give me an out.
"He can tear his way into one's mind and force them to relive the memories they'd rather not think of again," I started, watching as his face fell. "He hears your thoughts and spies on you from afar, and he can know the you, in your deepest most primal self that you, as a civilized human, refuse to acknowledge."
"'Taru…"
"He offered me freedom, Yusuke. Do you have any idea how an offer like that made me feel? Do you know what it is to hide the largest part of yourself, because you know that if the ones who loved you knew, they would stop loving you?" My brow furrowed, expressing for me the confusion and confliction I felt at that moment, but could not show organically.
"I've dedicated my life to protecting Kazuma. Everything I do is for him. He gives my life purpose, but Hiei was right. I was using my brother as an excuse to break the rules. I've done many terrible things, Yusuke. More than you know."
He was quiet for a moment, leaning back against the wall. I wondered what he was thinking for him to be so silent. It was normally so difficult to keep up with his conversations when he really got going. He talked about many things, some of them were nothing. Some of them truly grabbed my attention. His muted thought was, for lack of a better term, unnatural. More than that, I knew exactly where his thoughts were headed, and down which paths they would turn. I knew the conclusion he would come to. He was far too good of a person not to come to that realization.
"So everything you said, about those teachers I mean, that was true?" I had no choice now. I had to look him in the eye. It was, less than metaphorically, the moment of truth. And when I did finally meet his gaze, I saw in there a futile hope. A hope I would have to crush.
"Yes." His brow pinched, and I continued in a casual voice. "And I don't regret what I did. That's the really awful part. How do you think Kazuma would react if he knew not only what I do, but that I have no remorse?" I shrugged. "This is why I keep the secrets. It's so much easier."
He hummed thoughtfully, his face drawn in consternation.
"Well, I'll stick by what I said before. You did what you had to, and Akashi had it coming." My eyes grew wide, head jerking to stare him down. I imagined he had said those things to try to convince me not to side with Hiei. It was odd to hear them again with my own ears, and not ones clouded by apathy.
"You mean to say you actually forgive me? Without even knowing my other victims?" I quirked a brow slightly, and he frowned.
"Well don't thank me for it or anything," he snarked, and I tilted my head.
"But… I didn't ask for your forgiveness." He glared, then reached over and gave my arm a shove. I eyed his hand as he pulled it back, but otherwise didn't retaliate.
"Oh shut up, you know what I mean."
"I really, truly don't. Why do you think you can forgive me?" He gave me a strange look, cocking his head like a confused puppy.
"I just do. You do what you gotta do, and that's fine by me. Just as long as you don't go pulling some stupid shit like switching sides again." He frowned, leaning forward. "So you were actually gonna go with Hiei, huh?"
I blinked, my lips quirking down in the genuine expression of guilt.
"Well, yes, I would have killed you," I answered matter-of-factly.
"But you didn't."
"Is that really what matters?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
I grunted, looking off to the side, then nodding in acceptance. I didn't ask for vindication. I didn't think I needed it. But knowing that Yusuke was comfortable with me, aware of what I am and still able to sit beside me with his eyes closed and front exposed…
It felt quite nice, I think.
"What did you call me, just a moment ago?" I asked, suddenly recalling the very beginning of our conversation. He looked confused, and I tilted my head curiously. "Taru, I think. You called me Taru." Sufficient. Though I imagined he was spelling it in his head as the two letters rather than the word. The pronunciation was different as well.
"Ah," he shrugged. "Well it's better than Little Kuwabara, right?"
I nodded.
"Immensely."
He smirked, and I shook my head. I certainly hope he didn't expect me to give him a nickname. Nothing, aside from Dolt, appealed to my sensibilities. I heard that nicknames had to be discovered rather than given, and it would be a waste of time to find his when he had a perfectly serviceable name. Still, the shortened version of my own name wasn't terribly unpleasant, and the alternate spelling was pleasing as well. It was tolerable.
"So Botan said they had to wipe Keiko's memory," he commented idly. The conversation was officially over, and I was content to let it end.
"Oh? How far back?" I would hate for all my effort lying to her to be wasted.
"Just to the point where you got there to save her." We had swapped stories on the way back, curious as to how we ended up in our respective situations. I found I was proud of the way he had used his abilities. Perhaps he wasn't a complete dunce of a student after all.
"That's good, I've already given her a believable explanation for Botan, as well as our disappearances." He looked surprised, turning his head to face me.
"Really? What did you tell her?" I relayed the events of earlier today, his face reacting comically at all the right moments. He seemed to approve of my fabrication, sighing with relief.
"I mean, it's true though," he said, and I nodded.
"I thought I would make it easier for you not to slip up, plus it made Botan's alibi seem more realistic. In any case, you can be vague and still tell the truth."
"You just love those technicalities don't you?" He grinned at my confused look. "Oh come on, you're just so proud of yourself, figuring out how to lie without lying!"
"That's called slanting the truth. It's surprisingly easy, if you have the intelligence for it."
In that way, I earned myself a black eye to add to the litany of bruises from the battle, and Yusuke would go on to the next school day with a split lip. It was a productive evening.
I arrived home some time after six, early enough not to be too suspicious, but late enough that I would have a valid excuse to disappear into my room and indulge in some light research…
With the book I'd left at school. Wonderful.
I growled quietly to myself, shutting the front door. The click must have alerted Shizuru, who stuck her head out of the kitchen with a slightly perplexed look on her face.
"Hey Kiddo, where have you been all day?" Then, her face darkened to a scowl. "What's with all the bruises?"
I slipped my shoes off and set them on the mat by the door, unconsciously trying to shield my face from her observant eyes.
"Someone attacked a friend of mine. I retaliated." Her piercing honey eyes scrutinized me with a laser focus, but she would find no lie. "I do hope I'm not expected to sit idly by in such scenarios," I added with a challenge in my pinched features.
She seemed like she was about to argue, but wisely bit her tongue, turning away and disappearing into the kitchen, from whence a burning smell began to originate. I passed by the room without a glance.
"Is it the same friend whose mom was in the hospital?" I froze on my way to the stairs, backtracking until I stood in the entryway. I watched her carefully as she moved something around in a large pot.
"How did you know about that?" I asked her curiously. No point denying it, of course.
"Someone who worked there called to let us know you were okay." I tilted my head as I tried to recall everyone I had seen there who I knew. The answer came to me rather quickly.
"A nurse," I inferred, and the way her shoulders tensed confirmed my suspicion. "Nurse Kaguya."
She hesitated, then quietly, "Yeah."
I suppose I wasn't too displeased with her calling my family. It did show that she cared to some degree, and did not land her on my radar as a threat. However, it was unlikely I could trust her, should she see me anywhere else and decide to call again.
"I see. It was not that friend, but another." She nodded, stirring the contents of the pot.
"Okay," she said, sounding satisfied. "Did you win?"
In one of the rarest of instances, she brought out a smile, and it was real. It may have been more of a smirk, but it was a genuine reaction.
"Of course."
"Good girl," I could hear her smile, and my own faded away. Just what tactic was she trying now? Being motherly didn't work. Would she attempt excessive support of my bad habits? In my musing, I didn't catch her question, only realizing she had spoken when she turned to me with a quirked brow.
"Yo, Kid, dinner?" I shook my head, eyeing a visible spot of the boiling sludge with suspicion.
"No, my friend treated me." A lie by technicality, since Yusuke didn't actually pay for the food. "In any case, I'd like to see my fourteenth birthday."
I disappeared before the growling woman could chuck the spoon in my direction, walking briskly up the stairs and to my room. As I passed by Kazuma's room, the door creaked slightly, then flew open. I turned to address my brother, but he was already upon me. He grabbed my shoulders in a firm grip, face wrinkled as he assessed my face.
"Ru-Ru! What happened?"
I sighed, rolling my eyes. Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to goad Yusuke after all.
"Wow, Hotaru-Chan… what happened to you?"
The number of people who had asked me that question was not nearly as high as I had expected, reserved to teachers mostly. However, it was hard to get by Asako and Hitomi when they were staring so intensely.
"I would think it's obvious. I was in a fight." The two girls traded glances, Asako's features pulling into a worried frown.
"A fight? Was it with your brother's gang? You're not going around with them anymore are you!?" She leaned forward in alarm, her face so close I could feel the warmth of her breath as it washed over my face. I wrinkled my nose slightly at the sharpness of the mint smell and placed a hand out to stop her. It didn't make contact, simply hovering near her shoulder.
"No, I am not. However if I choose to take that up again it will certainly be none of your business." I made sure to add a decent amount of warning in my tone, but she was too dense to pick up on that.
"Like hell it's not," Asako said angrily, straightening. She pointed at my face, her finger inches away from my nose. I would have gone cross-eyed if I had tried to keep track of it, but I kept my eyes locked on hers. "We're your friends, and it's our job to tell you not to do stupid things."
I blinked, quirking a brow skeptically. She was boisterous yes, and perhaps a bit eccentric, but she'd never been quite this rude before.
"Stupid things? Care to clarify?" Her arm faltered, and Hitomi stepped in with a sympathetic smile.
"You missed two days of school this month," she reminded me gently, and I narrowed my eyes. "You've never missed a day. Then you left all your schoolwork here, and now you're fighting, and getting hurt. We're just worried you might be falling into a pattern."
I fixed her with a frown, searching her eyes for any sign of deception. I found none, and I was unsure if that was reassuring or irritating.
"They were minor setbacks. Situations arose that couldn't be ignored." They traded concerned glances, and I clenched my teeth.
"Hotaru, is something going on at home?" Hitomi prodded carefully. I scoffed, but Asako took my hand with a confident smile.
"Whatever it is, we can help." I jerked my hand away instinctively and the girl's brown eyes widened in panic. I shook my head at them both, pushing my chair back to rise from my seat.
"There is nothing for you to worry about. This conversation is over," I said with finality, walking around them towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Asako asked, and the teacher looked up from his desk curiously.
"Kuwabara-San, is something the matter?"
"I am going to see the nurse," I announced as I opened the classroom door. The teacher said something else, presumably about a hall pass, but the door shut, cutting him off mid-sentence. I sped down the hallway, my face tightly pinched with barely concealed irritation. What was it about them today, I wonder. They've never been quite so intrusive before, and to question my home life? Audacious. Nosy and irritating. They were getting far too close, they were actually starting to think of me as their friend. The question was, should I feed into that delusion or distance myself? There were merits to both.
By playing along, I limit the time I have to spend on Kazuma and Yusuke. My time and energy was further divided when I added Botan to my list, and again when Kurama came into the picture. At this point, I could cut back the work I was putting into Botan. The fox demon was much more valuable, able to slip in and out of Spirit World to gather information that Botan would either not be privy to, or would not divulge. That, coupled with his status as both a fighter and a strategist, placed him at a significantly higher priority. Also, not that it had that much effect on my reasoning, I liked him better.
My efforts towards Kazuma had been lacking as of late, most likely due to the frighteningly real connection that Yusuke had managed to facilitate. I wasn't sure how that could be helped just yet, as Yusuke and Spirit World were occupying a large portion of my thoughts. Perhaps I could set aside some time and go see a film with Kazuma, or treat him and his boys to a day on the town, or at the beach. Something like that to remind them all that I still exist. Not that those boys really needed reminding, they were very loyal to my brother. Threats were hardly necessary.
I simply didn't have the time to accommodate more friendships, especially if there was nothing more to be gained from the union. Unfortunately for Asako and Hitomi, they had nothing that interested me.
I nearly bumped into someone, and that someone let out a quiet yelp as they stumbled back. I blinked at the surprised face of Yukimura, whose open mouth curved into a sweet smile upon realizing who she was with. And then, there was this girl.
"Hotaru-Chan! Are you going to see Yusuke too? For work stuff, right?" I looked behind her, then down at the flight of stairs I was currently on. It seemed my feet had decided to take me up to the roof, something I hadn't exactly anticipated. Usually I was on a default route to the vents or the restroom. The idea that I could have been compelled to come here, where Yusuke was, crossed my mind briefly before I dismissed it.
"Something like that. How... ah, how are you feeling, Yukimura?" I cringed internally at the awkward phrasing, but she didn't seem to mind that. She only looked bemused, cocking her head in a very birdlike manner.
"I'm perfectly fine, why do you ask?" I gave her a calm, reassuring smile, my hands clasped innocently in front of my skirt.
"No particular reason. I just want to make sure everything was alright... after our conversation yesterday." Thankfully, that had come to mind almost immediately, and her face reflected understanding, then gratitude.
"Oh honestly Hotaru-Chan, I was just being silly! Yusuke's promised to be more open about these things with me, though I understand there are going to be things you two can't talk about. I really do appreciate your help." She looked down then, almost shyly. "I was really worried I might be losing my best friend, but now that I know what's going on, at least somewhat, I feel a lot better about it. Maybe Yusuke can even make a career out of whatever he's doing!"
I gave a small laugh, stepping out of her way as a clear, polite indication of dismissal.
"Maybe, who knows? I'll tell you, he's very good at what he does." Perhaps Botan and I should come up with some fake organization and credentials, just in case the girl started to dig in too deep and got suspicious. If she was continuing to take an interest in Yusuke's affairs like this, there could be more trouble than a simple hostage situation.
"I'm so glad to hear that," she gushed, and I worried for one moment that she might move in for a hug. She did not, thankfully, moving to descend the stairway with a cheerful wave back at me. "You two have fun, alright?"
My smile dropped the moment I turned around, my hands pushing open the door and escaping from the closed-off hallway into the open air. I didn't have to use my senses to tell where Yusuke was. Looking up, I caught sight of seafoam green cloth peeking over the edge of the platform above the doorway. A confused face peered over the side, then lightened considerably when he realized who I was.
"Hey, what's up? You skipping class now too?" A proud grin stretched over his features. "Man, I'm getting to be a really good influence on you, huh?"
I rolled my eyes, jumping up to grab the ledge and hoisting my body over the side with practiced ease. He yelped when I landed a mere inch away from his face, rolling away with a half-hearted glare.
"What are you, a monkey?"
I shrugged, moving to sit beside him.
"Sure, whatever."
I let myself fall back, my hands cushioning the back of my head as my shoulders met the concrete roofing. A sigh escaped me, the tension draining from my muscles bit by bit as I stared into the blue abyss, marked only by the clouds that occasionally passed overhead. Birdsong was scarce, covered by the cacophony of city noises that punctured the otherwise peaceful scene, but the warmth of the sun was enough to chase away the discomfort settling in my bones. I closed my eyes and breathed deep, the scent of hair gel and dollar-store cologne bringing a small smile twitching to my lips.
"Uh... so," he mumbled, and I cracked one eye open to stare up at him. He was supporting his weight on one elbow, peering down at me with uneasy concern. He looked like he was having trouble with a particularly easy math problem, but the obvious answer had been eluding him for hours.
"Hm?"
"Something's up, what is it?" A frown tugged at my cheeks as I pondered this, both his question and his interest. I decided it wasn't worth bothering him with.
"I don't really understand it myself. It's difficult to put into words." He nodded, accepting that answer rather easily and dropping back down to stare up at the sky.
"That's fine, I didn't really wanna hear it anyways. You just looked... weird." And there was that involuntary smile again, back on my face despite the thoughts that plagued me.
"Well, I wouldn't have wanted to trouble your poor brain with it anyways. If I can't even understand it, I'm afraid you have basically zero chances." There was a rustle, then the sound of something moving through the air, but I didn't block the fist that slammed into my arm, letting it make contact with a chuckle.
"Oh shut up! Like I wanna hear your girl problems," he said with a snarky tone. I shook my head, still looking skyward. A small flock of birds passed overhead, their figures a stark contrast against the light background. Eight tiny, feathery bodies soared through the air, blissfully unaware of their short lifespans and vulnerability. They sang happily, completely ignorant of the everyday threats that stalked them. They could get spun up in a plane engine, attacked by a hawk, even struck by lightening. But still, they were pleasant enough company, nice to look at, innocent little things. Why should they fear, when their worlds are so high above the troubles of others.
"Hey," Yusuke interrupted that rather unusual train of thought, and I quickly shut it down in favor of turning my head to look at the boy. "You remember how we beat Hiei yesterday? You hit my attack back at him, like bouncing light off a mirror in science class."
I gave a dry laugh.
"That was incredible luck, but no less effective for it."
"It was awesome!" His wide grin might have been contagious, if I hadn't already been thinking of other things.
"It was something remarkable, yes. I've been thinking about it, actually." I sat up, and he followed suit without prompting, looking at me with a curious quirked brow. "I had a few theories, but I wanted to test them out first."
He nodded, his expression thoughtful.
"Okay, but how do we do that?" I reached for him, holding a hand out expectantly.
"Give me your arm."
His look of bewilderment turned to one of suspicion as he regarded my outstretched hand.
"Uh, why?" He asked, leaning away warily.
"I am going to attempt to cut you with my energy," I told him matter-of-factly, focusing my aura over my arm and sharpening it to a double-edged point as if to emphasize my plan. He looked understandably alarmed, crossing his arms before his chest as if to ward off some unholy being as his legs propelled him backwards- right over the side of the small section of roof. He yelped, and I stood with a sigh, walking over to the edge and looking down at his defensive form.
"Ow! What the hell, crazy!? No way!" He began to retreat clumsily, and I rushed to reassure him, hopping down to join him on the main roof. For every step he retreated, I took one to follow, chasing the dolt around the open area with the energy blade still powered up.
"Hear me out, I've thought about this quite a lot-"
"What, thought about killing me and going dark side?" he interrupted with a manic look, and my brow quirked in concern.
"No, of course not. Don't you want to find out how we defeated Hiei?" My hurried question gave him pause, and I looked at him expectantly as he visibly recalled the previous week.
"We already know why, it bounced off you and hit him." I shook my head.
"Not quite. It didn't bounce. I caught it, then redirected it. For a very brief time, I was in control of your energy." He fixed me with a look of astonishment, finally slowing down enough to let me get within a few paces of him.
"Well that's… pretty cool," he said slowly, relaxing his guarded posture. "But what does that have to do with you cutting me?"
"I was getting to that," I said, and gestured for him to come back to me. He did so, very hesitantly. "It stands to reason that if your attack does not harm me, then mine will reciprocate."
He nodded, then his face screwed up as something occurred to him.
"Makes sense I guess, but I wasn't shooting at you. I was trying to hit Hiei. What if it didn't hurt you because I wasn't aiming for you?"
"I did think of that," I admitted, and I was impressed that such a thing had crossed his mind. "Which is why I'm only inflicting a minor laceration, barely anything to worry about … Unless you're worried you can't handle it."
I put as much concern and consideration into my words as I could, knowing his foolish pride would make him rise to the bait. I was not disappointed when he sent me a powerful glare, squaring up as if to grapple me.
"You saying I'm a wimp?" he challenged, and I shrugged.
"Your words, not mine." He looked like he was going to strike me, but he just barely held himself back with a frustrated growl. He shoved his arm between us and I took his wrist firmly with my left hand.
As I lowered my luminescent arm, I could see his determination waning with each successively shorter breath. The edges of the blade hardened into a glinting translucent blade, sliding over his skin to make the first incision. We watched, myself with fascination, and him with baited breath.
The blade came away clean, leaving not a trace of a wound.
Yusuke breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging dramatically.
"Phew, that wasn't so bad- FUCKING HELL!"
I brought my hand down again, this time with the intent of chopping off his forearm. He couldn't pull away in time, not that my grip would have allowed his escape. The glistening makeshift sword connected once more, harmlessly phasing through him as though either he or my energy was some sort of illusion. The purple hue intersected his arm, but neither seemed to displace or otherwise affect the other.
That is, until the blade itself began to shrink, my energy being sucked out of my arm forcefully.
I pulled away quickly, calling my energy back inside me. I was only slightly dismayed when I found there was not as much as before, my energy having been drained upon contact. I only let that bother me for a moment, releasing Yusuke's arm as he struggled to get away.
"What the hell!?" he reiterated, but I ignored his ire.
"How do you feel?" I prompted, and he glowered at me fiercely.
"I'm fine," he grumbled, then paused. "Better than fine, actually. I feel… full. Like, energetic." The realization dawned on him, and I smirked.
"As well you should, you stole nearly half my spirit power." He blinked in surprise, then sniffed disdainfully, turning his nose away.
"Yeah, well, serves you right, tryin' to hack off my friggin arm like that! What were you gonna do if it actually came off, huh?" he questioned indignantly, and I feigned thought.
"Probably requisition Spirit World for a new arm, I imagine." His look of outrage brought a brief, but real smile out of me, and I took a few steps back. "Here. Now fire your Spirit Gun at me."
He gave me a strange look, cocking a brow dramatically as if to ask if I was serious. I stood waiting, my arms at my sides in open invitation, and he shrugged, squaring off against me.
"Just remember, you asked for it," he warned, not giving me time to respond as his hand formed the required shape and a bullet the size of a large watermelon. I was a little in awe of its size, certainly a larger portion of energy than the previous week. However, I didn't have much time to contemplate as it collided with my chest.
I flinched expectantly, but the ball of light only thumped lightly before a blissful warmth spread out over my body, seeming to bleed away from my heart. Immediately, I felt the energy cling to my own, replenishing it and more, and I was bursting at the seams with turbulent, excited energy.
My body felt warm and light, comfortably full yet exploding with pure power. The energy was no longer Yusuke's I could feel, but it had completely become my own, and it obeyed my every command.
"Fascinating," I said a little breathlessly, glancing over at a gaping Yusuke. His arms faltered slightly as he looked me up and down in astonishment.
"What the hell, I gave it everything I had!" His amazement was short-lived as he realized our situations. "Hey! Give me my energy back!"
Feeling impish, I gave him a sedated grin.
"I think I'll keep it, thank you. I'm sure I'll put it to better use-" He lunged at me and I danced out of the way, being sure to keep a good three feet between us at all times. The chase lasted for a while longer than I anticipated, but I refrained from using any of the energy collected within me. He eventually caught me and I reluctantly returned his power, impressed with how long he had been able to stand without it.
It was a relaxing afternoon, almost perfect in its childish innocence. It begged for a rude interruption, and a rude interruption it received upon the arrival of Botan with our next mission.
...
"So, what does your great big ghost-buster brain say about this one?"
I paused, considering my words carefully as I beheld the spectacle before us.
The mission had been relatively simple. An unseasonable chill had brought a family of kamaitachi with it, and their whirlwinds had been popping up sporadically throughout the surrounding cities. Their pattern indicated a search grid, which I had noticed and used that pattern to predict their next location.
I was correct, as it turns out. But what the three weasels had been looking for was not what I expected. Yusuke had plenty to say on the topic.
"Hold on a second, you're telling me you guys came all the way down here to catch a paper crane?" The patriarch of the small family sniffed, turning his muzzle away as though Urameshi had somehow offended him. The animal looked to me instead, and his expression softened to one of almost adoration. His wife held their small pup in her sickle-paws, comforting the young demon-beast as he wailed miserably.
"My son made it, with his own two paws," the father, Hamato, bragged to me with a proud smile. "I don't think I have to tell you how monumental that achievement is, considering our kinds limited dexterity. It is extremely important to our family- priceless! As soon as we get it back, we will leave the city."
Yusuke raised a hand to scratch his head, his look of concerned disbelief reflecting my own feelings accurately.
"Okay, we get that, but what's with all the attacks?" he asked, and Hamato pointed a sniffing snout towards the boy. "You're looking for a piece of paper that just blew away, so what do all the people have to do with it?"
"It's abnormal for your kind," I jumped in to remind him, "to attack so many people, and without even soothing the injuries after."
Kamaitachi were one of the few demonic species permitted to remain in the Human world, despite their proclivity for attacking strangers at random. It was the fact that their attacks did so little damage, and their tendency to cushion the fall of their prey and heal the wounds, which saved them from being hunted down. I found the policy to be directly conflicting with the message Spirit World was trying to send by recruiting us. Despite the relative innocence of it all, they were still in conflict with Humans, and what's more, Humans were their main source of food.
It had been explained that kamaitachi was a species native to both living realms, though both dimension's strain had evolved specifically for that world. They were technically a native species, and they constituted as part of the natural balance. They were mostly confined to the northern parts of East Asia, but they would occasionally be spotted further south.
"It is our son's duty to apply the medicine," the mother finally chimed in. She had been relatively quiet, shooting Urameshi dirty looks now and again (while regarding me with the same open smile her husband wore) as she tried to comfort her sniffling child. "A you can see, he is not feeling quite up to his usual tasks."
I gave a sympathetic smile that I did not at all feel under the mask, and leaned over to put myself more at their level.
"No, I imagine not. But you must have a reason for these attacks. Most of your victims only fell, and were never even cut. You aren't feeding on them, obviously. So that leads me to assume you are searching their persons."
Hamato gave a quick nod, dark eyes sparkling.
"Very correct, wonderful deduction! My, Spirit World certainly spared no expense with you!" I managed to turn my grimace into a charming smile. He wasn't being supercilious, and that was part of the problem. Grin and bear it, as they say.
"You see, the type of paper we used had a specific scent to it," the father continued, and I tilted my head to listen. "It's more pungent, and considerably old-smelling. We've been tracking anything that resembles that scent for many miles. Some of the Humans we come across carry the scent. Either they have come into contact with the crane, or some devious minded hooligan has stolen it!"
I blinked and took a deep, subtle breath.
"Alright… sir," I began, not entirely sure what else to call him. "Do you think you may be close to finding your paper crane?"
The kamaitachi lifted his snout, taking short, quick sniffs and jerking his head this was and that. After a few moments, he settled on a direction and used his muzzle to point.
"This is the strongest it has smelled all day. I believe the crane is through that archway, but we can't seem to pass under it."
I glanced over and suppressed a sigh.
"Sir, that's because it's a torii. It is warded so that demons don't enter the shrine nearby." He huffed, rearing back as though stung.
"How rude! The torii back home have no such warding!"
"I'm sure that is owing to the fact that your kind is common there. Here, the warding cannot distinguish between native and non-native demons." I wasn't entirely certain of that, but it made sense, and I had the feeling I was right. In any case, it was something to tell him, and he seemed to accept my improvised explanation easily enough.
"I am certain it is beyond the gate," Hamato asserted, and I straightened. A glance at Yusuke made me grit my teeth to keep from berating him. He was barely holding together as it was, laughter easily visible in the crinkles at his eyes. His hand over his mouth did little to stifle the snorts.
"We will search the shrine, but should we not find anything, I am going to have to request that you return home," I told the weasel family, and they looked none too happy. "I understand how important this is to you, but if your son can indeed construct a paper crane, having him in your family should be reward enough. He is clearly a skilled individual, and you should be proud of him."
Those words seemed appropriate, and seemed to lift their spirits.
"Of course, having such a special boy is much more important than the crane," the mother cooed, and the pup smiled widely. "But having the proof of his achievement and superiority would be nice too."
I nodded, assuring them we would return, and bodily dragging my partner away from the family before he caused a scene. He barely lasted until they were out of sight before bursting out laughing hysterically, tears that had been collecting in his eyes now streaming down his cheeks.
"Y-you should see your face," he guffawed, and I narrowed my eyes, beginning my search of the grounds. He only laughed harder, pointing even as he doubled over. "You look so serious- over a ferrets origami!"
I rolled my eyes as this resulted in yet another round of raucous laughter, and he followed me as I walked lines over the worn pathways. Passerbys gave us a few curious looks, but no one stopped us. He jeered all the way, not even looking with his eyes so squinty from laughing.
Up the walk. Down the line right beside it. Up, and down. Up, and down.
"Hey, do you think they'll ask you to babysit? Or is it pet sit?"
I ignored him and came to a stop, staring openly at what seemed to be a crumpled piece of paper on the ground.
"Wonderful deduction, they spared no expense! Could you find my smelly paper crane?"
It had no defined shape, yet there was the hint of wings at the sides, folded precariously in uneven angles. However, there was no mistaking the rectangular base, imitating legs, which stretched into a crooked tail.
"I'm sure the little tyke is a real prodigy, at doggy daycare."
"That's the crane," I said suddenly, and I knew it to be so. The latent energy was of the same feeling as the family waiting outside, and despite it being virtually headless, the resemblance was there enough to hint at what it was, formerly. Yusuke stopped laughing long enough to regard the piece of paper with a skeptical look.
"You're serious, that thing? It's just a piece of trash!" I sighed, rolling my eyes yet again for perhaps the fourteenth or fifteenth time that embarrassingly stressful day.
"That's your problem, Yusuke. You haven't got the slightest idea how to utilize your energy to sense things without extreme concentrtion, which is a damn miracle coming from you. That 'piece of trash' is positively glowing with their energy signature," I snapped, and he crossed his arms defensively.
"Well excuse me, it's not like I've had my whole life to figure out how to use some freaky powers," he spat, and I recoiled. "I mean, it's been what, a month? So I'm not an expert already, big fucking deal!"
I blinked, unable to do much more in the wake of his verbal onslaught.
"And oh by the way, who was it that found you when Hiei kidnapped you and Keiko? Yeah, that was me, remember? I managed to use it then when I actually needed it, so who cares if I can feel a little bit of energy on some stupid piece of paper or not? So yeah, you wanna try that again, asshole?"
I stood frozen, my lungs pausing for a moment. It didn't matter that I was staring at him so openly. He faced away from me, shoulders hunched. I swallowed, an uncomfortable sensation overcoming my chest, and looked away.
"I… I'm sorry," I murmured. I know he heard me, the slightest twitch in his neck indication enough. However, he didn't look at me. "Today... this week has been difficult. I didn't mean to take it out on you." What else was there to say? Anything more would be seen as pandering, and quite frankly I was unsure what he wanted to hear. This neutral response, though overused, was honestly the best I could come up with, my normal creativity failing me. That alone, coupled with the knowledge that I was actually in the wrong here, only served to add further fuel to the fire currently raging in my mind. Could anything else go wrong today?
I picked up the lumpy, headless paper crane and pivoted on my heel, walking back towards the family.
"We have found the crane, the kamaitachi are waiting." I knew he hesitated, but eventually followed. I presented the weasels with the poor imitation or art with what I hoped was a sympathetic look.
"I believe this is yours, but it's taken some damage." The son's eyes lit up and he scrambled out of his mothers paws clumsily, falling over his sickles as he galloped over to me.
"My crane!" His excitement might have been contagious, had I not been focusing on multiple thoughts at once. He reached for the crumpled paper, taking it delicately in his tiny paws. "You really found it!"
"Where's the damage?" The father approached, great joy in his eyes, and I pointed sorrowfully to the front of the… creation.
"It's lost its head," I pointed out. They stopped for a moment, looking at me with confusion.
"What do you mean, the head is right there," Hamato said with a frown, and gestured towards a nub of paper, sticking out like a knob would on a tree trunk. My head listed to the side and I felt Yusuke coming up behind me.
"Ah…" I could think of little else. Hamato grinned toothily and rested his muzzle on his son's shoulder.
"It hasn't changed a bit, despite the long journey. It must be good luck!" The weasel bowed deeply, his nose brushing the grass. "We are in your debt, Spirit Detective!"
I blinked, forcing my eyes to return to their normal size. I dipped my head respectfully.
"It's supposed to look like-" Despite the odd discomfort at my own shortcomings that day, I didn't hesitate when I slammed my fist into Urameshi's gut, silencing him effectively. It had the added effect of making him bow, and also removing the remaining air from his lungs in a satisfying grunt.
"We were happy to help," I smiled, and Hamato glanced over disdainfully at the hacking Urameshi.
"You were quite a wonderful change of pace from what we're used to, but I do hope they can find you a more suitable partner. You're far too kind to be stuck with such a brainless hoodlum." I granted the kamaitachi a small nod.
"He is a better detective than he presents, I assure you." Hamato didn't seem convinced, but he only shrugged.
"Well, if you think you can handle it. Farewell, my dear!" The patriarch rose to his hind legs, forelegs lifted in an exaggerated fashion before he began to spin, the sickles slicing through the air with a metallic zing. Not for the first time during our encounter, I studied the formation of the blades, noting the curvature that closely followed the length of the arm- err, foreleg? It was an appealing design with multiple conceivable functions, though practice would be needed if I was to maintain such a shape.
It didn't take long before a small whirlwind began to form around the father. The small weasel child shouted a joyful thanks to us, leaping into the tiny vortex and disappearing from sight. The mother vanished as well, prompting the tornado to speed away down the beaten path. It passed people, normal humans who could not see the three demons, with little more effect than tossing their hair.
Their energy faded, and I sighed deeply. My shoulders sagged as exhaustion swept through me, crashing over my body like waves on the rocks.
"I'm… going home."
I did not go home.
No, instead I made my way to my scheduled meeting with Kurama at his abode. I rang the doorbell, waiting quietly and readjusting my schoolbag over my shoulder. There were textx within the brown leather satchel that I wanted Kurama's fact-checking on. Considering his age and propensity to absorb information, it was likely he knew at least a few things about the history of Demon World. Perhaps he could even fill in some of the gaps the books seemed to have. The door opened.
Kurama was not the one on the other side.
"Ah..."
~ "Perhaps when this is all over, I'll kill her myself, and where would you be then? What will you have achieved when I stand over both your rotting corpses!?" ~
"Oh, hello." The voice managed to convey a sense of pleasant surprise to accompany the welcoming smile on Minamino Shiori's lovely face. "You're Kuwabara... Hotaru, right? I remember, you and another of Shuichi's friends visited me the day before I got better!"
"Y-yes, Minamino-San," I stuttered, bowing to hide my grimace. I quickly banished that memory from my mind, resolving not to think on the regrettable events that transpired at the hospital. She tittered happily, completely unaware that I had once threatened her life.
"You two must be my lucky charms! Please, come in! Shuichi mentioned you might be coming by today." She stood aside, hands folded politely in front of her.
With little alternatives, I stepped numbly over the threshold, setting the now pointless reading material on the ground right beside Kurama's schoolbag. I switched my shoes for slippers, listening as the woman closed the door behind me, cutting off my only escape with a sweet smile and a gracious gesture to enter her home proper.
"Yes, Minamino-San," I repeated, pasting on a calm smile of my own. "I've been coming by almost daily to help Shuichi-Kun, making sure he's eating properly and that the home would be ready for you to return. He didn't tell me you had already come back," I added, just a little bit louder than was necessary. I could feel Kurama's subdued energy somewhere nearby, and I wanted to make it perfectly clear that this was not acceptable.
"Otherwise," I wouldn't have come at all. "I would have brought a gift to welcome you home."
She smiled even wider, looking proud.
"Actually, I only just came home today. They did want to keep me for another week, but I was feeling in such good health, I checked myself out!" She laughed, leading me into the kitchen. "Shuichi, don't neglect your friend!"
Though the words were scolding, the tone was nothing short of affectionate as she beamed happily at her son. Said demon was at the counter chopping an onion when he turned a bright, sunny grin to me.
"Hotaru-Chan, I'm happy you could make it! I apologize, I got so carried away today that it simply slipped my mind to call you." That guilty look couldn't have been more false if he had painted it on like a clown mask. I could feel the veins in my temple pulsing, and my eyelid threatened to twitch. Years of practice kept these visible tells of irritation from showing, but I'm certain Kurama could feel the fluctuation in my energy, like a whip cracking over the air.
"That's alright, you were busy," I assured him with a sympathetic smile that barely masked the death-glare I so badly wanted to give him.
His simpering look as he turned away boiled my blood to the point where I felt the heat might make the vessels pop and splatter all over the freshly polished floor. Red would compliment the white tiles, but the mess wouldn't be worth it.
"Please, sit down." I did as the woman invited, pulling out my usual chair and slipping silently into the seat. Shiori sat beside me, casting a fondly exasperated look over her shoulder.
"He insists on cooking tonight, though I've tried to tell him using the kitchen appliances won't kill me," she told me, and I was glad she was looking away when I flinched. Kurama tilted his head just slightly to indicate that he had heard her comment.
"I know, Mother, but please allow me to do this for you, just for tonight. I promise you can cook any other night you wish. Besides, Hotaru-Chan has been doing most of the cooking lately- why in fact, this is one of the recipes she taught me."
The woman giggled, shaking her head as she turned back to me.
"I don't think I can thank you enough for everything you've done for my boy," she said, and I forced shyness into my expression, with a healthy dose of embarrassment.
"Ah, it was no problem, Minamino-San. Shuichi is a good friend, and I hated to see him struggling. He really was hopeless, you know," I said, casting a sly look at the back of Kurama's impossibly red head, and he turned to give me a perfectly executed mortified grimace. There was even a blush over his cheeks. I was once again struck by the impeccable quality of his masks, jealous, as I knew my own were nowhere near as convincing.
"Hotaru, you're quite cruel," he groaned, but the small smile playing around the corners of his lips indicated to the laughing Shiori that he was not truly offended. I gave a small laugh of my own and a teasing smile.
"Only when I really want to be," I said in mock warning. Mock warning. His face cracked only slightly as his eyes gave a nearly imperceptible twitch, but I still caught the slip. He was well aware of my feelings on the situation, it seemed. I returned my gaze to Shiori.
"You know, he's so very different outside of school. At least, outside of school functions. He always has something on his mind, so it's really good to see him so relaxed. I'm glad he has the chance to slow down a bit," I told the woman, who nodded in agreement.
"It makes me happy too, to know that he has such good friends. He seems so much less stressed lately," she added, both of us side-eyeing the demon. He bore a look of indignance, but it was gentle and subtle, like all of his expressions.
"Ah, both of you are cruel! I'm standing right here," he complained in his smooth tenor, and both of us laughed at his expense.
"Sorry, sorry," Shiori and I chorused, then a brief, somewhat comfortable silence ensued, giving me that slight break to formulate a plan of action. There could possibly be a way for me to leave before dinner, but I would have to be careful about the execution. There was no way I could stomach an entire meal with both of them, unable to talk about anything important for however long she intended to keep me in her web. Maybe fake an illness? She might just insist I stay and take medicine... I could say that I just remembered a prior engagement. Possibly with our other friend, that could work.
"So, Kuwabara-Chan, how are you doing in school?"
Perfectly normal question, easily answered.
"Very well, I'm going to be moving up a grade soon," I told her, straightening my spine proudly. She looked genuinely happy at that announcement, congratulating me generously. "Ah, it's nothing really. I enjoy studying. I was actually hoping to have Shuichi's help with some of my work tonight, but this is better by far."
She looked almost dismayed.
"If you really wanted to study, I could take over with dinner." Kurama shot me a look, but it was unnecessary.
"No, no, it's alright. I don't really need it, I simply enjoy his company, and he makes for a much better study-partner than Yusuke," I said with a small laugh. Against my prediction, she did not latch onto that conversation opportunity, keeping a placid smile on her face.
"Your family must be very proud, I'm sure." I nodded reflexively, then paused in thought.
"Actually, I'm not sure they even know. I don't think I've brought it up yet." As I continued to think on it, I realized I was right. I had neglected to involve my father in any of the proceedings to move up a year. I had even forged his signature at one point when parent permission was required. I didn't see the sense in bothering him with something that was both inevitable and well-deserved. Perhaps I should have reconsidered.
"Don't your parents take an interest in your schooling?" Shiori asked, then her eyes widened. "Ah, I apologize. I don't mean to imply anything."
I shook my head with a comforting smile.
"It's alright, my father is just very busy with his work, so I try not to trouble him with these things." Her expression saddened somewhat, and I couldn't quite understand why. Family dynamics were still difficult.
"And your mother?" I sighed internally, knowing this might come up sooner or later. I didn't have to fake the grimace, only the sad smile that followed it was false.
"She passed three years ago. Lung cancer." Shiori looked uncomfortable, her eyes wide and regretful.
"Oh... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."
I waved her concerns away casually, trying to convey my indifference.
"It's alright, it's in the past. We've all moved on." She looked startled, and I could feel Kurama shifting without looking at him. That was the wrong thing to say, I think. "We had each other, Father, my sister, my brother and myself. We managed."
"It's good that you were all there for one another," Shiori said in a comforting voice. "I think that's a natural advantage to having a large family. When Shuichi's father passed, ah... my boy was so young. He was all I had really. Keeping him out of trouble kept me occupied. It was easier to cope, somehow."
I silently willed Kurama to move again, as he had frozen upon hearing his mothers admission.
"You said you have a brother and a sister?" I nodded, latching onto her question as she attempted to change the subject. "And you're close with them?"
I shrugged.
"Not very close with my sister, she is eight years older than I am. But my brother is... my world." She tilted her head in curiosity, and for the first time that visit, I gave a real smile, memories of Kazuma coming to the surface in place of those that concerned my mother. "He's only a year older than I am, but he's so much bigger. He's always been there, like a watchdog."
Shiori giggled, leaning forward with her chin resting on her palm.
"He sounds like a good brother. How is he in school?" I sighed, shaking my head in exasperation.
"Well to be blunt, he's not exactly academically inclined. My poor big brother isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer." She gave me a sympathetic look, but I rolled my eyes. "Honestly, I'd be embarrassed to call him family if he wasn't such a good person. He's a lot like Shuichi, actually. Very kind, and selfless, and he loves his family more than anything else."
I paused.
"Well, almost anything else. I think he loves his cat even more."
This prompted the woman to laugh, a most unladylike snort coming from behind her cupped hands as she shook with mirth. Her eyes shone brightly, wide grin not contained by her delicate fingers.
"Oh, I'm sure that's not the case!"
"You haven't seen him with her. Eikichi is his little baby. I think if we let him have a camera, he'd spend all day taking pictures and showing them off to every random passerby. You wouldn't think it, with his size and his mean-mug, but he's basically a giant puppy."
That sent her into another fit of giggles, which made me wonder how often this woman socialized if silly things like this made her laugh so much. She was... abnormally receptive towards me. I had to wonder what, if anything, Kurama had told her about me. She was enjoying herself far too much.
Not only that, but by the time dinner was over, I realized I hadn't once thought about leaving after my initial plan. Shiori kept the conversations going, and it was easy to simply react and allow her to control its direction, Kurama chiming in every now and then. She steered very far away from the topic of my parents, eventually getting out of me that I had a cat, and my favored colors were pink and grey. It was inconsequential information, but she seemed to delight in even the smallest details, so I allowed her to obtain as many useless facts as she wanted.
My plans for a high school focus? Psychology. Why? I had an interest in human nature and what made people the same when everyone was so fundamentally different. Did I like all animals, or just cats? All animals seemed to like me quite a lot, but I was mostly indifferent to them. Favorite food? Anything so long as my sister didn't cook it. Sisters profession? Hair stylist, and maybe she could do something about Shuichi's abundance of hair. The hour passed incredibly quickly, and that was a disquieting thought. I'd lost track of time, and that was a dangerous thing. I shouldn't have gotten so comfortable, but Shiori made it easy to sit still and participate. She never strayed onto sensitive topics, and her questions, while fairly routine, lead somewhere that was unusual, but not in the territory of concerning.
By the time I was standing at the door being bid farewell, my smile was easier to maintain, and the kindness in her expression was easier to stand. Kurama escorted me out and, at his mothers insistence, walked me to the bus stop. That easy grin slid from my face the moment we were out of sight, my mind starting to catch up to the fatal errors I had made that evening.
"I do apologize for not alerting you to my mothers condition, Hotaru-San," Kurama began, but I held up a hand to stop him.
"Don't. I haven't got the energy to be angry with you right now."
He was quiet as we walked along, and I was aware that my steps weren't nearly as even as they could have been. I was far too spent to care, however, and simply ambled along without much purpose.
"Are you still recovering from your battle with Hiei?" His question, innocent and logical, was for some reason incredibly irritating at that moment, and I whipped my head around to glare at him.
"You and your mother both with all these questions. Don't you ever mind your own business?"
Regret immediately surged within me as he recoiled, my words practically striking him across the face with palpable vitriol. He stopped walking, staring at me in a wary confusion. I slowed to a stop, turning away from him to massage my face with both hands.
"Sorry... I'm sorry." I rubbed at my eyes, trying to squeeze the tiredness from them with pure force, but the chemicals refused to cooperate, filling my already addled brain even further. "I don't feel much like myself today. I'm so irritable. It's actually a bit worrying. First the girls at school, then Yusuke... now I'm snapping at you."
I sighed, pressing my temples to make the pounding stop. It wouldn't go away, not unless my heart stopped, and that was out of the question at the moment.
"You did seem unusually tired tonight," he said, and that did little to comfort me. "If you wish to skip our appointment tomorrow, I can promise not to do anything that would break your rules."
I cracked on eye open, turning my head to give him a sidelong glance.
"So you're saying you'll break the rules if we do meet? That's very bold of you." He smirked, and I reciprocated the look. "No, I'll still attend the meeting, but I refuse to sit through a repeat of tonight any time soon."
At that, he gave a sad smile that struck me as entirely genuine.
"I'm afraid that's my fault as well. Difficult child that I was, I took up so much of Mothers attention that I destroyed her social life. She hasn't spoken with many of her friends in years, thanks to my being so off-putting. I'm afraid she was overeager to talk with someone new."
That... made perfect sense. No wonder she was so interested in the smallest things. She was trying to get to know me... to befriend me. That's a little problematic.
"She seemed to like you well enough. I hope that doesn't deter you from visiting my home in the future." I hummed, considering this new development. Minamino Shiori was the easiest, most assured way to get into Kurama's good graces. If I were to strike up at least a superficial relationship with Shiori, it would in turn strengthen Kurama's feelings towards me. Rather like Kazumas boys, I would be considered a normal fixture in both their lives, thereby making myself essential.
It was something of a long shot. Kurama was far too intelligent to fall for any of my masks, and he wouldn't let his mother too close if he sensed I wasn't sincere. So then I would have to make it sincere, at least on surface level. That shouldn't be too difficult. I smirked to myself, already starting to feel more normal as the plans wrote themselves in my brain.
"Of course not, I'll still stop in," I assured him. "It's just been a trying week. I'm certain tomorrow will be easier."
That was what I continued to repeat in my mind. Tomorrow will be easier. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be normal. It played over and over as I silently rode the bus home. This day in particular was likely to go down as the beginning of my downfall if I didn't get my odd temper under control. I was tired, surely. Tired and still recovering, just like Kurama said.
Tomorrow will be easier.
Shizuru wasn't there when I finally got home, and I thanked whatever Kamis were dictating the world today for small mercies. There was only so much I could put up with, and it was a certainty that I would not be apologizing to Shizuru if I snapped at her.
I had barely made it to my room before there was a heavy knock on my freshly shut door. Four knocks exactly, each with the force of a two-ton sledge hammer, raining its fury down upon an unsuspecting concrete wall.
"What is it Zu?" I called, and was shocked at the stale quality of my tone. I was very tired, wasn't I.
Instead of answering, Kazuma opened the door and strode through, a smug, secretive look on his usually jovial face. I was immediately suspicious, especially when I noticed that his left hand was hidden poorly behind his back, his clumsy movements putting a long white box on display. The kind of white box that most women loved to see in mens hands. However, it wasn't exactly what they would expect to see on their brothers. I sighed.
Jewelry.
"Hey! Guess what I got you today," he said in his gravelly tone. I only just stopped myself from rolling my eyes.
"A necklace."
Immediately, his jaw dropped and his eyes bugged. A smile twitched at my lips at the expression while he stuttered and yammered away incoherently.
"What!? How did you know? Did you peek, or did dad tell you?"
This time I did roll my eyes, pointing at his middle with a raised brow.
"I can see the box, I know what they look like." He pouted, then perked up again in an instant, brandishing the small white container with a great flourish.
"Well then here, Smarty Pants! Let's see what you think of this! I actually bought it a while ago, but it wasn't ready until today." A commission? That was... different. Normally he would just impulsively pluck the first 'cute' thing he saw from whatever store he happened to be passing and present it as an early birthday gift or something of that nature. I could always expect some sort of plush animal or figurine. Several of them resided in the darkest area of my bookshelf, where I didn't have to look at them unless I wanted to. Others were buried in drawers, easily visible once I opened said drawers. But he was getting smarter. I was older now, and toys simply wouldn't cut it anymore. He'd finally graduated to jewelry, the staple of every girl my age. What had his poor little brain managed to dredge up this time?
I withheld a groan, taking the box mechanically and pulling off the lid to uncover the first of likely many such offerings.
"What's the occasion?" I asked, sliding my fingers under the simple silver chain and lifting the item off the cotton pad.
"Oh, um, no occasion. I just thought you might like it." He shuffled his feet awkwardly as I examined the accessory, turning it in the light to see it from every conceivable angle.
...
...
It was hideous.
The basic metal pendant was cat-shaped, white enamel with a pink outline making up the actual image. The feline was decorated with several bows and stars, with a bright pink collar and rosy cheeks, meowing happily at me through the overload of repulsive glamor. To be honest, it was exactly what I expected, and it fit well with the theme presented by every other gift I had gotten from my brother.
"Whaddaya think?" he questioned, hie eyes wide and searching. I smiled, and it was real.
"It's wonderful, Kazuma. I adore it." The clasp was a simple lobster claw, and I clipped the abomination around my neck deftly as Kazuma drew himself to his full height, chest puffed out proudly. The pendant settled heavily over my breastbone, cold metal a foreign sensation as I realize this was the first time I had ever actually worn a necklace.
"Yeah, I knew it! I always get stuff you like!"
I looked at him for a moment, the natural crinkling of his eyelids as he grinned in satisfaction indicating that my apparent appreciation of his gift had pleased him. I like that expression. At times, I wished he would give me more gifts, just so that I could see the look on his face when I told him I liked them. Other times, I remember how terrible he actually was at giving presents, and I wish I didn't have to look at another painfully adorable plush toy again. Still, it was worth the exasperation every time, just to see him smiling like that.
... I really had been neglecting him. All my time spent with Kurama and Yusuke, while enjoyable and/or productive, was stealing opportunities away that I could never get back. I had to wonder what I had missed on the days spent gallivanting off after demons, or holed up in my room with Spirit World texts. That needed to change, and soon. I wouldn't let him slip through my fingers because I was too focused on protecting him to actually spend time with him.
What good was there in fixing myself for him if he wouldn't be there waiting for me when it was all over?
Hey look, there's Kuwabara! I knew he was in this story somewhere! But don't worry kiddos, he'll be making a lot more appearances. Now that this arc is over, we move onto the one that cemented his character into Yu Yu Hakusho legend, and really defined exactly what kind of person he is.
I had some fun with the title of this chapter. Basically, it means that emotional conflict kinda screws with our heads. It's normal for Hotaru to be feeling conflicted, but it's never really gotten to quite this level before. Not that this is very bad, I think she handles it well enough. Sure, she loses her temper a bit, but that's to be expected. Shit finally got real for her last chapter. This was fun! I promise, the next chapter is actually written and isn't a sudden patchwork project.
Meow for now!