The day's extended opening credits included:
· Bail Organa celebrating a win.
· Padmé frustrated after receiving a second whammy in the first round.
· Qui-Gon Jinn taking a spin.
· Han Solo lifting his chair over his head to celebrate a victory.
· Cad Bane taking a spin.
· Han Solo smirking as Leia Organa hit a whammy.
· And Pre Vizsla earning 381 credits on a spin.
In the larger space provided by Coruscant's Holovision Studio, the turntable rotated to reveal Qui-Gon Jinn, Han Solo, and Pre Vizsla. As the audience cheered, Preigo took his place at the emcee's podium.
"Galactic Entertainment Media is pleased to present today's episode for your enjoyment," he said.
After more applause, he added, "After beginning with the Starting Six, continuing with the Terrific 27, and reducing that to the notable nine, We're down to the final three of our Try Your Luck Madness Tournament. Let's reacquaint ourselves with the finalists.
"Qui-Gon, you're our 24th seed with 2305 credits and a nice collection of prizes. Thanks to a timely whammy, you pulled off a big upset last time in our game play on Duro."
"I have to admit even I was surprised at that, but I'm happy to be here. Who knows, maybe I can win again."
"It seems possible, doesn't it? Next, we have Han Solo who is our third seed with 1313 credits and few prizes of his own from the Corellia Region."
"Numbers mean little to me, Preigo. But I like to win, and I'd like to win again today. Those numbers would make me happy."
"As would more credits and prizes, I'm sure. Finally, we have the top remaining seed. Our winner from Mandalore with 4020 credits and a set of dinnerware, let's welcome second-seeded back Pre Vizsla."
"Thanks," Pre replied after loud applause and cheering. "I'm impressed I made it this far, but I wouldn't mind finishing with a win since I'll have the advantage again."
"Considering three of the best seeded players lost with four whammies, they might argue more spins isn't always an advantage. Now that we've met the players, let's review the prizes up for grabs in round one today. Because this is our championship game, we're going to have you play for the prizes that nobody won yet—and a new one:"
A combination grill and cooler, a klofita rug, an electric stove, and a color holovision set with remote control.
"Just so you know, these will be the prizes for both rounds today and you will also have the chance to win as many of these as you can get.
"You already know how bad the whammy is, so we'll skip over that apart from saying four whammies means your game ends early.
"Let's check the spin totals: Qui-Gon, you have three spins. Han and Pre each have six. Qui-Gon, you'll start us off in round one."
"I guess this is it, huh?" He replied, studying the board, before stopping it.
"Fifty-seven credits and a spin. That gives you the lead for now, and you still have all three spins."
"I certainly can't pass now. Let's build on that with a bigger amount."
"Seventy-six credits more. You're up to 133 credits with two spins."
"Let's go on for more credits. Avoid the whammy..."
As if on cue, Qui-Gon found himself stopped on a whammy, groaning with the audience. Meanwhile, a quarter of whammies sang, "Ooh, I took the credits back from you. Yeah."
"Qui-Gon, it looks like one of those days where saying 'whammy' brings them out to play," Preigo noted. "However you still have a spin left. I take it you'd like to try again."
"I'd prefer not to finish the round with zero. Alright, let's get any credit value here."
"Nineteen credits. It's not much, but it puts you back in the game. Because Han and Pre each have six spins, the lower seeded player goes first this round. Han, that's going to be you."
"Lucky me, huh?" Han deadpanned. "Alright, let's get started and get a good score here."
"Ninety-five credits and a prize point. That may be important if you can without any whammies. You have five more spins."
"I wonder how a grill and cooler combine anyways. Never mind, though. I need more credits now."
"Fifty-seven credits and a spin. You have 152 credits, a prize point, and five spins."
"I'd be happy if I could double that amount to be safe. So, let's go again and get more credits."
"Fifty-seven credits again. Han, you have 209 credits now and four spins. Will you pass, or avoid the whammy?"
"I'm not ready to pass yet, so I guess I'll go again. Let's keep getting credits."
"Nineteen credits more for a new total of 228 credits. You have three spins."
"I'd still like to get a better score. Pre has six spins and could catch me rather easily. I tell you what, the Kessel Run was less stressful, but this is still fun. Let's get another spin of credits now."
Han sighed upon hearing the telltale sound of a whammy. One brandishing a lightsaber appeared and said, "Look out, Mace. Look out, Shaak. Look out, Yoda," and chuckled before slicing off one of its own arms.
"That first whammy came at an inopportune time, but you still have two spins left," Preigo informed Han.
"I can't lead with zero," he replied, "So, I need to get something here. Even 19 credits would give me a tie right now."
"Fifty-seven credits puts you back in the lead. You have one more spin left. Will you play it or pass it?"
"I need more than that to have a chance at leading after round one. I see 200-some credits up there; now would be a good time for that."
"Try your luck, Han, and get 38 credits and a spin. You have 95 credits and you still have your one spin."
"Great, let's take it again. Let's get a bigger score to finish this round."
"Big Prize! That takes you to the largest amount on the board: 191 credits at the moment. Han, you finish the round with 286 credits. Excellent job! Pre, it's finally your turn to take your six spins. You need 286 credits to tie for the lead."
"That shouldn't take too long," Pre replied. "Alright, let's get the lead as quickly as possible with these spins."
"Three eighty-one credits! That's the highest value on the board. You've moved into the lead, but you have five spins left."
"It's too soon to pass but I hope to do it soon enough. Let's add to the lead here."
"One space back to 19 credits. That gives you an even 400 credits with four more spins."
"I'm going to take at least one more spin here. I need to have a good lead before I pass."
"Nineteen credits again. Pre, you have 419 credits and three spins. Pass or avoid the whammy?"
"I'll take another chance here. I want to get something good so I can pass."
"Two eighty-six credits! Excellent. Pre, your score is now 705 credits. You have two spins."
"It's time to pass them to someone else!"
"Han, those spins come back to you. With 286 credits, you have some catching up to do here."
"Never tell me how far down I am, Preigo. It just makes me want to try harder to beat the odds!" Han exclaimed. "Let's get at least one big value here."
"Ninety-five credits and a prize. You have 381 credits, a prize point, and one more spin you have to take. Avoid the whammy, and you'll be in good shape."
"Let's make this last spin count for something. I want a big amount again."
"Try your luck, Han, and get 19 credits. After round one, Qui-Gon has 19 credits and a whammy. Han has 400 credits, a prize point, and a whammy. Pre is on top with 705 credits. We'll conclude our championship game in a moment."
⁂
"Welcome back to the championship of today's This is Madness: Try Your Luck tournament. We're ready to start round two. For those of you that might have missed round one, we're using the same prize list for both rounds. Here's a reminder of what everyone is playing for:"
A combination grill and cooler, a klofita rug, an electric stove, and a color holovision set with remote control.
"You already know we have higher credit scores. And, you know we have whammies. So let's avoid those and have a fun finish, shall we? Qui-Gon has three. Han has five, and Pre has a big eight spins. Qui-Gon, with just 19 credits, you'll play first this round."
"I definitely need some big amounts this round if I want to win—and some luck," Qui-Gon quipped. "Let's get something good on this spin, now."
"Ninety-five credits and a prize point. You have 114 credits and two more spins."
"I have to take it. I'm still in third place. Let's get a bigger three-digit score this time."
"Two ten credits. That gives you 324 credits. With one last spin, will you pass or avoid the whammy?"
"I have to avoid the whammy one last time and hope to move up a spot. Alright, let;s et credits this time. Maybe I can get an extra spin."
"Ninety-five credits and a prize again. Qui-Gon, you finish in second place for now with 419 credits and two prize points. Now, we go to Han with 400 credits and five spins."
"Alright, let's work on retaking the lead again. We're going to make each of these spins count."
"One ninety-one credits. Not bad. You have 591 credits now—114 credits less than Pre—and four spins."
"Let's keep going and try for the lead. I need another big amount here."
Han sighed as he landed on a whammy. One in the shape of a cleaning droid erased his score one digit at a time before self-destructing.
"Han, that's a bit of a setback, but you still have three spins," Preigo reminded him. "I take it you want to start over."
"You bet. I'm not coming all the way here to leave with nothing, you know. Let's get another great amount or a spin here!" Han exclaimed.
Han shook his head to land on another whammy that pointed and laughed before disappearing.
"Han, we have to talk," Preigo said. "You still have two spins, but you have three whammies. One more whammy eliminates you from the tournament."
"I'm not going to give up so easily," Han replied. "I want a big amount or those extra spins now. Let's not disappoint."
"Two sixty-seven credits. You're only 152 credits behind Qui-Gon for second place. If you play, you'd need an extra spin in order to challenge Pre for first place."
"I'm definitely taking this spin. It's all or nothing now. Let's finish strong."
"Try your luck, Han, and get 229 credits. You finish with 496 credits and back in second place. Pre, we now go to you with 705 credits and eight big spins."
"I suppose I should take at least one, huh?" Pre said. "Let's see if I can break the thousand mark again one more time."
Pre looked on as he stopped the board on a whammy space. A whammy on a surf board appeared and said, "Surf's up! Cowabunga, I got your money in a wipe-out!"
"Pre, everyone has finally been hit by a whammy, but you have seven more spins," Preigo said.
"I knew I should have passed to Han," Pre muttered. "Oh well, it should be easy to pass him again with seven spins. Let's start over and get anything good here."
Pre's jaw dropped to see his second straight whammy. A whammy with a mallet appeared and banged the zero digit clean off his scoring display.
"Pre, you have six spins remaining, but two whammies makes the game more interesting now," Preigo stated.
"This certainly isn't interesting for me," Pre responded. "Let's get credit this time, pretty please with a darksaber on top."
"Seventy-six credits. That puts you back in the game with five spins."
"Perfect. Let's get more credits so I can consider strategy again. Until then, I need more credits—plain and simple."
"One ninety-one credits for a new total of 267 credits. You're 152 credits behind Qui-Gon for second place and just 229 behind Han for first place. You still have four spins."
"That's great to know. I could get that on this spin which would change things. Let's do that right here and now."
"Two ten credits. Those 210 credits give you 477 credits—just 19 short of Han with three spins."
"Time to pass again. Han has three whammies and I'm going to give him number four this time."
"Han, you have the lead, but you have three passed spins. You have to avoid the whammy three times for the win, otherwise Pre will be our grand champion."
"Lucky me," Han replied sarcastically. "Let's get these spins over with starting with the first."
All Han could do was shake his head to stop on a whammy while Pre smirked.
"Han, that means you're out of the game and our big winner for the tournament is Pre Vizsla."
The audience applauded over the congratulatory choir voices while Pre raised his hands in jubilation.
"Pre, your grand total over three wins is 4497 credits and the following prizes:"
Dinnerware valued at 51 credits. And although you didn't win a prize today, we will still award you the combination grill and cooler. It's both a grill and a cooler, but don't call it a grooler. It's valued at 125 credits. Including these great prizes, you leave us with 4673 credits in winnings.
"Han, as mentioned before, you leave us with two big wins and 1313 credits and the prizes you won. Qui-Gon, you also have plenty of prizes and 2305 credits. You'll both be receiving our home game."
"So long as I don't have to let the Wookie win," Han deadpanned, drawing laughter.
"I guess I can finally retire now," Qui-Gon mused.
"Thanks to everyone who participated in our tournament, and thanks for watching," Priego stated.
Closing Commentary
Let me apologize for completing this well behind schedule. Long story short, offline life was such that writing time was very limited. That said, it was still nice to finish this off and see how different game play and strategy was with the difference in how passed spins get treated. More information about that is in the trivia section.
Because these tournaments take a while to write, I don't know at present if or when I'd do more, even if I have plenty at least two more I could parody easily.
Tournament Trivia
The top seed won eight times. The middle seed won three times, leaving four major upsets: #31 General Grievous in the play-ins, #25 Admiral Ackbar in the quarterfinals, #24 Qui-Gon Jinn in the quarterfinals, and #23 Padmé Amidala in the quarterfinals.
Pre Vizsla's 3734 credits in the semifinals was the most by a winner. Han Solo with 209 credits in the quarterfinals had the least by a winner.
Individual game winners collected 19029 credits not including prizes. This is an average of 1269 credits per game. The closest game saw Pre Vizsla defeat Admiral Piett by 19 credits in the semifinals.
Over the course of the tournament, there were 101 whammies that cost players 38815 credits in winnings. Per game, this is 2858 credits – coincidentally the same amount as the highest possible credit total in round two. On a per-whammy basis, players on average lost 384 credits with each whammy. Two episodes saw whammy losses that exceeded 6000 credits thanks to players in each hitting "Big Prize" during the second round only to lose those large scores to the whammies.
Eleven players were disqualified with four whammies. In three games, a player won by default when the remaining two players each whammied out.
Three players were unfortunate enough to finish with a zero score: Bail Organa (quarterfinals), Emperor Palpatine (quarterfinals), and Padmé Amidala (semifinals).
- END -
