A/N: Aaaaand Dimitri's back!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN - DIMITRI

I didn't know where I was going as I briskly tried to create as much distance between myself and Rose as possible. I didn't want to see her red-rimmed eyes or try to explain myself.

I never wanted to see Rose like that - devastated, trying desperately to keep it together. Yet here I was, the cause of it again. Her words echoed around my mind. You love her. Nothing to hold you back here. They left a sour taste in my mouth.

I thought giving Tasha an answer would make things easier. That telling Rose would make it final - give us some closure. Instead, I just felt more confused.

Angry with myself, I stalked down a long hallway toward the back of the lodge. The hall eventually ended, but a door leading to a set of stairs sat on the left. It was unlocked, so I followed the stairs upward to another door which led out into an isolated rooftop deck. Snow crunched under my feet as I headed over to a large, box-like object that I thought might be a part of the ventilation system. It was barely visible in the darkness, but I bent down to sit and stared up at the half-moon.

My body went taut when the door opened a few minutes later. It was Rose. Nerves washed over me until

I squinted into the gloom and found that it was her older self. I relaxed. Wordlessly, she walked over and settled down beside me.

We sat in silence for a long while. It was nice. For once, I wasn't thinking about Tasha or Mason or even Vasilisa. All of that had made what was between us so complicated. For a moment, we could just be Dimitri and Rose. For a moment, we just were.

"You should come out here later. It's actually pretty beautiful in the sunlight," she finally said.

"You've been here before?" I asked, surprised. It was a secluded spot. I didn't think it got many visitors.

"Once."

She had a soft smile on her face, so different from the sharp pain I'd seen earlier.

"I appreciate it, you know," I told her, kicking at the thin layer of snow with the edge of my boot.

She quirked her head.

"For being so professional," I clarified. "I know that...you must hate me in the future. After everything. It seems like every time your younger self and I talk, it becomes a fight. We're always fighting. But you've been able to keep things between us civil."

It was one of the many ways I knew she had become such a great guardian. She'd learned control. I was happy for her, and more than a little proud. Still, even though younger Rose probably had a long way to go, a large part of me mourned about the change in this version. The idea of Rose and walls around her heart just didn't go together. Rose was raw energy and passion and life. She was a blazing inferno that would rather scorch you than be tamed. I'd give anything to know what she was thinking right now. Would she ever forgive me?

Her lips quivered for a moment. Then, she burst out laughing. "That's what you think?"

At my serious look, she sobered up.

"I don't hate you, Dimitri. I could never hate you."

"I don't think your past self agrees."

"Really Comrade? How many times do I have to tell you? We're the same person. Trust me when I say, yeah, she's probably pissed and hurt and confused. But hate is definitely the last thing on her mind. Besides, speaking for both of us, I like our fights."

Her eyes smoldered, making me think about yesterday - in the few precious seconds where she hovered above me on the matt. Or even further back, to the night of the lust charm - a mistake which still haunted my deepest dreams and fantasies. I'd told Alberta that had been a fight charm too. My body felt warm.

"I meant verbal fights," I corrected her.

She smirked. It made me want to do the same. I missed this.

Somehow sensing my melancholy, she became more hesitant. "So...you and Tasha, huh?"

I didn't speak. There didn't seem to be a need.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Did I?

Yes, I realized. Talking this out with someone close was exactly what I needed. The problem was, beyond my family, Rose was the person I was closest to. She was the only one who I'd ever really felt comfortable opening up with after Ivan passed, and she hadn't exactly seemed like a viable option for discussing Tasha. But perhaps Older Rose was the solution. She'd be able to offer distance and perspective - advantages I so desperately needed.

She waited for me.

I avoided looking directly at her as I spoke.

"Tasha's offer is the perfect opportunity. Guardians don't get chances like this. Stay on the job, raise a family. Plus, I know her. She's a friend. A year ago, I would've snatched this up. And now there's you and Vasilisa. My presence around you both could only end up being a detriment. And you end up with Mason, so…"

She blinked. "I'm not with Mason in the future. What gave you that idea?"

I gaped at her. I'd been so sure…

"I don't…" I shook myself. "But that doesn't change the rest of it. There are so many complications. If I stay, my presence will just continue to be painful for the both of us. I can't responsibly stay on as Vasilisa's guardian. You don't need to keep sugarcoating the future if I'm not. Logically, this is the only option."

"But do you want to be with Tasha?" Rose asked.

"I could be happy with her someday."

Rose gave me an impenetrable look. "But do you want to?"

I fumbled. A cool blast from the winter wind bit into me just then, seeping past my jacket's layers. I shivered and realized I couldn't lie to her. I had to stop lying to myself.

"...No." I want to be with you.

"So don't do it."

"It's not that simple, Roza-"

I barely processed her swift movements as she gripped the lapels of my jacket and brought my lips to hers. She overpowered my senses. From the sweet smell of her light citrus perfume to the way her tongue danced against mine. Arms wrapped around my waist, she pulled me closer still. Deep and hypnotic, her lips moved with a slow intensity, filled with so much emotion that it was hard to believe I'd ever thought she no longer cared for me. It was like I melted, worries fading until it was just me and her. How could I ever think that Tasha could compare? My hands drifted up to the back of her head, fingers tangling into her soft brown locks. We took our time, exploring each other, enjoying it all.

Even after I pulled away, I could only stare at her dazedly while she smiled back.

"I can't tell you what to do," she said softly. "The last time you went through this, there wasn't some future version of me perched on your shoulder, giving you pointers. But...in my time, you do guard an Ozera. It's just not Tasha."

"What?" I asked her. My lips were still tingling and I didn't completely follow.

"If things go the same way as it did for me, and trust me when I say I want them to, then one day you'll be Christian's guardian."

But that meant...

"Are Vasilisa and Christian still together in the future?"

Her expression said it all.

Assignments close-by each other, but not directly overlapping. No single Moroi to put in danger. We might live together. Our break time would probably lead to more interaction than any sort of near-far guard setup we'd need to employ with Vasilisa. She'd be over eighteen. I wouldn't be her teacher anymore. It was perfect.

I allowed myself to take in what her kiss really meant - what she was trying to tell me without words. Delight and awe washed over me. I'd been so caught up in all the ways we were wrong for each other, I never gave myself the time to consider a world where we weren't.

We were still practically on top of one another, pants soaked through from the snow. Her hands rested on my lap and the moonlight made her eyes seem to glimmer even as the shadows overtook her form.

"I've been an idiot, haven't I?" I asked her.

She laughed. "A little bit." Then, she sobered up. "I can't promise you things'll be easy. There's a lot of darkness coming. But the end result...it's worth it, Dimitri. It really is."

I believed her.

Then, thinking about the more immediate consequences, I nearly groaned.

"I need to make things right. With Rose and Tasha," I said.

"You do," she told me. "Sometimes, try not to think so hard about things. You have a habit of brooding yourself into a rut."

She wasn't wrong. I smiled. "When did you get to be so wise?"

"I had a good teacher." She winked.

Not long after that, she convinced me to head back across the lodge with her to meet up with Adrian. I was less than enthused about that, but I followed her anyway. We spoke some more about lighter topics, but for the most part, she left me to my own thoughts. I definitely had a lot to consider now.

The first thing to do would be to explain myself to Tasha. I couldn't leave her under these false pretenses for long in good conscience. It wouldn't be fair to her. After that, I'd find my Rose and apologize to her. A real apology this time - not whatever I'd been trying to pull earlier.

When Older Rose left Adrian and I, off to check on something related to her mission, I had us set out to do just that.

The search for Tasha led us outside again, back into the brittle air. Adrian was being his usual self.

"Enjoy your vacation?" he asked me. At my lack of response, he went on. "I know I did. Had oodles of fun. Listened in on your little spat, got yelled at by my dad for not sitting with him in the splatter zone earlier. Well, flame zone now. It was great."

I detected a certain level of bitterness. It was unusual for him, at least around me.

"Do you fight often?" I asked.

He chuckled humorlessly. "Let's just say he has high standards. Thinks the Queen's closest relatives should act like gods or something. He doesn't really approve of my whole, well, me thing."

As if to emphasize his point, he pulled out a silver flask and took a swig. The liquid sloshed around inside the container, suggesting that a generous amount had already been taken.

"Maybe you should talk to him about how you feel."

I was reminded strongly of my efforts to convince Rose to reconcile with her mother. It seemed that mending tense familial bonds was a universal struggle. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be one to talk.

"I'm sorry, have you met Nathan Ivashkov?" he asked.

"I've heard stories."

All in all, Nathan Ivashkov seemed like a fairly standard pompous royal. Conservative views about how to run our society, low opinion of dhampirs. It was bad, but nothing I hadn't seen before. I supposed that didn't say much about how he handled familial matters though.

"Uhuh?" said Adrian. "Trust me, they don't do him justice. Anyway, I guess you wouldn't get what it's like. Dhampirs don't usually know their dads, right?"

"I knew mine." I replied with familiar dark edge in my voice.

"Really?"

"For a while. I made him leave."

Perhaps trying to lighten the mood, he directed another jab at me. "Why? Did he offend your proper sensibilities? Didn't bow low enough to your mom before a night on the town?"

"Actually, he beat her."

Adrian tripped a little, startled, before halting in place and making a time-out motion with his hands. We were at the edge of a large courtyard around the side of the lodge. Supposedly, Tasha had been spotted nearby not long ago. I felt a little tempted to just keep going without him, but I quenched the urge and swiveled around.

"What."

"Please tell me you kicked his ass."

In a weird twist of events, I found myself explaining the whole story to Adrian of all people. And he agreed with me for most of it.

He shook his head in disgust when I mentioned my father's drunken rages.

"Moroi, dhampir, That's messed up," he said. "You know you've got a problem, you get yourself out of there."

"Royal Moroi aren't usually well known for their consideration towards dhampir flings," I said, "The way the rest of the world sees it, they're not even supposed to."

"Yeah well, dads aren't supposed to be total assholes either. But here we are."

I had to agree with him there. Honestly, I felt like I might need to re-evaluate my opinion of Adrian just a little. He was nosy and crass and hedonistic and usually, very drunk. But no matter how much he continued to annoy me, my original assumptions about him were wrong. He wasn't cruel and despite his best efforts to appear uncaring, he might actually be a decent person. I didn't think he was like his father. Or mine.

Right then, an old Moroi gentleman with graying hair wandered up to us, looking lost.

"Excuse me, could you young men please help me? I need to find my brother. He said he was in the banquet hall. Where is the banquet hall?"

I opened my mouth, ready to direct him, but the words slipped away in an instant. I couldn't stop staring into his eyes. Dull brown slabs, hypnotizing in their simplicity, drew me in - trapping me there in a net of focus. It was like the feeling you get when you see a small blotch on an otherwise blank piece of paper, only much more intense. You know you should look away, but the peculiarity just grips you.

I heard background noises as if from a great distance.

"Um, it's back there," Adrian said.

"Oh good, good," replied the man, his voice sounding soft and warm to my ears. I could listen to it all day. "You should come with me."

That sounded like a great idea. I wanted nothing more than to go with him, anywhere he wanted.

"Okay," I found myself saying.

"What?" Adrian asked, "Didn't you want to go break up with your girlfriend? You were pretty determined like a minute ago. We don't need to go back to the hall. Just tell him the way."

I took a step forward towards the man.

"Hello, Belikov? Earth to Belikov!"

The man smiled kindly. "Oh, I'm sure he's fine."

From the corner of my eye, I could see Adrian squinting at the man in a way that was starting to become familiar after having spent so much time with him. Idly, I wondered if this was what aura reading looked like.

After a few seconds, he gasped.

"You're him! The guy. Robert," he said, tone drenched in horror. "Belikov, turn around."

When I didn't, he repeated himself. I started to feel the smallest inklings of urgency at Adrian's tone. It had the same honey-like quality that was so successfully drawing me into the man's gaze. Adrian's voice was persuasive too. I almost wanted to listen.

The moment passed and the man's eyes zeroed in on me. I was enthralled again. My attention drifted.

Adrian made to grab at my shoulder, but I was a trained guardian. I jerked my arm away.

"Enough of that," said the man.

With a swish of his arm, Adrian went flying. I heard a loud crash and some scuffling like he was trying to get up, but the man only had to clench his fist and things went quiet.

Unhindered, he gave me a wide congenial smile, fangs showing.

"Hello, Dimitri. I think it's time we got to know each other. Come."

He strolled away from the courtyard, in the direction of the trees, at leisurely pace.

Obediently, I followed him.