"It feels like instinct
Coming back to you..."
-/-

Gideon delivers the news one week later, she's sure he's joking when he tells her she can go home in a few days. She still thinks he's joking those few days later when she's given a change of clothes and a bag of the things she was brought in with.

She still thinks he's joking even as he walks her out the back, when she feels the cold air on her face, and hears the birds, the wind hitting the trees. When she sees her mom standing by her car with her phone in her hand, thumbing a text.

"I…" Mary starts softly when she turns to him. She gave him so much hell the last few weeks and he's...releasing her? What if it's too soon? She feels better, she feels better than she has in such a long time, but what if the second she goes home it all comes crashing down?

"It's scary at first, but you're ready." He tells her softly, gently, seemingly ready to nudge her forward.

"I was a bad patient," Mary says awkwardly and he laughs a small laugh before nodding in agreement.

"You came around eventually." He sighs.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." They're quiet and she isn't really sure what to do now. Does she just leave? Is this it? Is it over now? She doesn't know why she does it, what comes over her and maybe she's just really appreciative, but she hugs him. "Oh...uh-" He hugs her back with a laugh, "I've never...had patients hug me before."

"That's really sad." She breathes a laugh before she gives him one more squeeze and then she steps back. "Um. So. I guess...this is goodbye then."

"Yes. I hope to never see you again."

"Wow."

"Mary, there are no good reasons for us to ever cross paths." He tells her and while that might be true, it might sting a little. "Tell you what, if I ever get into enough trouble that it is detrimental to my career. I will call you."

"Haha."

"Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

"You better mean that, if you're back in here a year from now, Mary, I swear to g-"

"I'll try." She says it with a roll of her eyes and he shakes his head, "So-"

"You're stalling."

"I am not."

"You are." He tells her and without another word, he's turning away, "Bye Ms. Stuart." He says as he walks back inside. Well, she may have been stalling a bit but he didn't have to go back inside entirely. She sighs heavily before starting the long walk over to her mom who has yet to look up.

She doesn't feel ready, but she supposes if Gideon thinks that she is, then she is.

"Hey." Her mom smiles when she approaches, she slides her phone back in her pocket and beams at her, "Ready to go?"

"I think so." She says softly as her mom wraps an arm around her shoulders and guides her to the passenger seat.

"Everyone is very excited to see you again."

"Me too."

She doesn't take her home, instead, her mother drives her to her firm, stopping in front of it and saying she has a surprise for her. When the lights in the conference room are flicked on, she screams when her friends jump out of various corners of the room. There are balloons and a banner that says, "Welcome back, Psycho." In Kenna's handwriting.

"I said excited but quiet." Her mother snaps it when Mary freezes and it's a few seconds of silence as they wait for her to react.

"Psycho?" Mary laughs softly, "Really?"

"Aylee thought lunatic was too mean," Kenna tells her as she pulls her into a tight hug.

"I fought a good fight for just Mary." Greer supplies as she hugs her too and there are too many hugs to count but she wouldn't change it for anything. Turns out, they really went all out. There's even a cake, a cake. A little round thing with purple icing and she's way too happy to see it because the food in that hospital was disgusting. It shouldn't be called food if she's honest.

Francis isn't here, but Charles and his new girlfriend are, along with Claude and Margot and there's a fresh vase of roses on her desk from Henry and Catherine.

She's sitting on the front steps as the sun goes down later, picking at a slice of cake with a fork and trying not to take his absence too personally. It still feels strange that she's back and that she has been given the tools to really start over. To put everything that's happened behind her, she's never thought that she'd be able to, and yet here she is.

"Hey." She turns her head at the familiar voice, smiles when she sees who it is.

"Bash."

"Am I late?" He asks as he walks down the steps and takes a seat next to her, "Kenna wasn't too specific at the time."

"Is that...why Francis isn't here?" She asks it softly and tries to sound disappointed.

"He doesn't want to overwhelm you." He tells her, "How are you?"

"Good." She says softly with a breath, "Better."

"That's good."

"Yeah." She sighs, "I didn't think...that it was possible." She shrugs, "How are you? It's been a long time."

"I'm...good. You know our situations are a little similar."

"Did you stab someone in your kitchen too?"

"No." He laughs a little, "I mean. I was gone for a while and now I'm back. It's an adjustment, and now you have to make it too. Granted you weren't gone as long as me but you've been through far more." Maybe she has, but Bash hasn't had it easy either. His entire life was put under a microscope and then used to bring his father down like he was nothing but a bad decision. She does wonder what he has been up to, but for now, she's content with just sitting with him and watching the sun go down.

-/-

Her mother got her a new phone, it's programmed with all of her old contacts, the same number. She scrolls down to his name as she sits in the car and waits for his mother. She debates calling him, or sending him a text but she decides against it when her mom climbs in.

"Did you have fun?" She asks as she starts the car.

"Yeah." She tells her, "You know you don't have to...drive me-"

"I want to."

"Alright." And so she drives her home and she walks her up to her apartment, leads her inside and then Mary is just standing there. Everything looks the same, the last time she was here seems like a distant memory, a bad dream. Her mom takes her coat as she looks around. Her kitchen is blood-free and clean, her bedroom has remained untouched.

"Maybe you should go lie down." Her mother says softly as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll be out here if you need anything."

"All night?"

"Yes." She smiles as she goes to the closet that Mary keeps the extra blankets. She tries not to frown as she was kind of hoping to have her apartment to herself for a few hours. She nods though and heads to her room.

She's exhausted as she climbs into her bed, the mattress feeling heavenly compared to the slab of cement she was used to sleeping on at the hospital and she pulls the comforter up to her nose, inhaling the familiar scent.

She dreams of a kitchen knife and Louis and she dreams of blood on blood and the way it felt when it dried on her skin and she dreams of the quiet as she watched Louis' breathing slow. She wakes with a start, sweat gathering on her forehead and she tries to take a few breaths before lying back down. It's fine. It was just a dream, Gideon said that she would probably have a few nightmares upon her return. It will be a while before she is completely okay again.

Her phone is ringing and she reaches over to answer it.

"Mary?" It's Lola and her voice makes her sit up again as she swallows, running her fingers through her hair.

"Lola."
"They told me you were back." She says softly, "I...um. They told me you were back." Her voice is soft and hoarse and Mary wonders where she is now. She wasn't at the party, but she didn't expect her to be. She will never expect anything from Lola.

"I am…" She says, "I was-"
"I know."

"Lola-"

"I was mean to you…" She pauses, "At the funeral. At Julien's funeral."

"It's okay." She tells her, she shouldn't apologize. She was grieving and Mary was the one who thrust him into her life, only for him to be ripped away in the worst way possible. "Lola, you never have to apologize for that."

"Okay." She breathes, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Good. That's good."

"Lola. Are you okay?" She asks and the girl doesn't answer right away, she seems to be thinking about it. She breathes a heavy sigh over the phone and it sounds weighted like she's being held down by so much. Mary wants to hug her, to tell her everything will be okay, even if she doesn't know that it will. "Lola?" She questions when she still hasn't answered.

"I keep thinking that they're going to come back." She tells her after a while, "That I'll wake up and Julien will be next to me and I'll still have my son." She pauses, "But they're not coming back and I don't know what to do now."

"I'm so sorry, Lola."

"I keep thinking it's my fault." She says, "Because I was going to terminate but then I didn't and he...he died anyway and then Julien, Julien died too and I just...I don't know what to do now."

"It's not your fault." Mary straightens because her saying it was is ridiculous, absurd, there was nothing she could have done to stop this from happening, "I wish I could have been there for you."

"Me too." Lola whispers that and she sighs again, "I just really miss him."

"I know." They're quiet now and Mary wonders if this is a good time to tell her that she isn't angry anymore, that anger doesn't curl up her throat and threaten to choke her like it used to. And maybe she hasn't been angry for a while.

"Did it hurt this much when you left Francis?" She asks, "I mean I know it was different, he isn't dead. But...you get so used to someone being around until they aren't anymore."

"It did." She says softly, but Lola is right, it is different. Mary chose to leave, to end it, Julien is dead and Lola didn't choose that. It wasn't so much the ending it that hurt, she left it mentally long before she left physically, it was the ending of a routine. She had to learn to get used to not having him around, she had to discover who she was without Francis, and that might have been the hardest thing she had to do. She was so used to him that she could hardly wrap her mind around not having him, not calling him to tell him a joke she heard that she knew he would like, not to look for him when she enters a room. (Though she never really unlearned that one). How not to miss him.

She can't even imagine how Lola is feeling right now. At least Mary can go back to Francis, she can call him, she'll still see him around. Lola will never see Julien again.

Mary sighs as she pulls her phone back to her and scrolls down to his name.

Mary: "Meet me by The Lincoln Memorial?" His response is quick despite the late hour and it makes her wonder if he was waiting.

Francis: "Sure."

-/-

She knows now why she's felt uneasy about reintegrating into her old life, it's because her old life isn't hers anymore. Maybe, she needs to start fresh and new. She remembers when she started this firm when it was just a hotel room filled with boxes and files. Her and Kenna, Greer and Aylee, and Lola all hunched over cheap takeout as they scanned for clients willing to trust a bunch of girls with their lives. Now, now it's taken on a life of its own.

When she walks in she finds Aylee is helping Kenna sift through boxes in her office and she doesn't see Bash but she knows he's here too.

Mary clears her throat to get Greer's attention.

"I need to talk to you." She tells her softly.

"What are you doing back?" Greer asks as she follows Mary to her office and she closes the door, along with the blinds before walking around her desk. "Mary?"

"Part of the reason this place went under after I left." She explains as she grabs the hallowed out picture frame that hangs above her desk, it's a picture of her and her mom, but that's not the point. "Is because you didn't have access to some very important documents."

"How long has that been there?" Greer gestures at the small safe, it's embedded in the wall and Mary doesn't say anything as she punches in the pen and pulls it open.
"I remember when we were so young." She tells her, "Just starting out with little to our names and then I look around and I can hardly believe how far we've come. I started MSA because I wanted to help people." Greer is quiet, she just looks confused as she walks over to look in the safe, "I have decided for the foreseeable future I will be stepping back."

"You're leaving?" She turns to look at her now, "No, I thought you were better, you can't disappear again-"

"You have always been one step ahead of everyone else," She tells her, "Kenna is back, Bash is back, Lola might come back."

"All the more reason to keep this place up and run-"

"I'm not shutting it down." Mary says, "The code is 41458. Inside are clientele files, forms, the orange folder holds important information on bank accounts I have set up in different countries. The red one is for high-level contacts only; military personnel, White House staff-"

"Why are-"

"-Governors, CIA, FBI, Secret Service Agents who owe me a few favors."

"Mary-"

"Leading this firm means going up against the White House sometimes, maybe going up against me one day, you're the only person I know who would be able to handle that." Mary pauses for a second and Greer laughs nervously. "I built this place up from the ground up, I gave it a name and I taught it how to walk and now I'm giving it to you."

"You're doing what?"

"You're running it from here on out." She says as she closes the safe, writing down the code and then reaching in her purse for the keys to her office. She drops them in Greer's palm. "Don't call me unless it's in flames."

"Will you...will you come back?" She asks softly.

"Maybe." She shrugs, because she doesn't know if she'll come back, if she'll return or when that would be, but she knows this is right and that Greer will take care of things until then.

"Mary, I don't know what to say…" It's barely above a whisper as her fingers close around the keys.

"Tell me you'll take care of it."

"I will, I promise."

-/-

She thinks he isn't coming as the minutes tick by and the sun goes down and the occasional passing of people becomes less frequent. She thinks that maybe she messed up one too many times and he isn't coming because he doesn't want to see her. Maybe he doesn't want to tell her that he doesn't want to see her because of how fragile her mental state has been as of late, but he should tell her, not make her wait out in the cold for him t-

"I'm sorry I didn't come to your party." His voice comes from behind her and she turns sharply, it makes him step back quickly, and she would be lying if she said that didn't sting. She stands up and doesn't say anything as she walks over to him and he seems a little confused when he sees that she isn't stopping, not until she's right in front of him.

"It's okay."

"Leith made these for you." He tells her and he holds up a bag, "I have no idea how he even...had time to do it." She grabs the bag and peers inside. Muffins. Huh.

"He can bake?"

"Apparently." He shrugs, "You look good." He says softly.

"Are you implying that there are times when I look bad?" She jokes.

"Covered in blood on your kitchen floor may not have been the best look for you." He jokes back and she rolls her eyes, he steps a little bit closer; seemingly experimental, and when she doesn't move he steps closer.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"What are you doing?"

"Testing." He says softly and she squints at him before stepping back just a tiny bit because boundaries are still very much a thing.

"Francis." She says softly, "I...gave up my firm." She tells him softly as she goes to sit back down on the stone steps and he sits too, tilting his head at her. It's her entire life's work, she spent so much time building it, and breathing life into it and maybe the fact that he knew that, it raises a red flag.

"Is that...good?"
"Yeah." She says softly, "I think I need to step back from all of it, I let it consume me for so long. Letting it go for now is...good, a good thing."

"Okay." He nods, "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"No." She says softly and she looks at him, like really looks at him. Because she hasn't allowed herself to do so in so long, at least not meet his eyes and she almost forgot how blue they were, even in the dark and even with the lights from the memorial shine on him. He's watching her and she's watching him and she almost forgets how to speak.

"Remember when you told me what you thought our future looked like?" She asks him softly. It was a Sunday morning, one of the few they actually had time to spend together. Time to sleep in, though they didn't...sleep much. When they were wrapped in blankets and each other and speaking in hushed voices despite being the only two people in the room. How they would have a house in Vermont, two kids, and maybe a dog and they would be happy.

"Vermont, two kids, and maybe a dog." She tells him anyway, even though she knows he remembers, "I've been thinking about that a lot."

"Me too."

"And um…" She swallows, "Anyways, basically I just wanted to say that I don't want one of those tiny dogs that you carry around in a purse, I want a big dog." He smiles, big and wide, in that way that makes his dimples show and she smiles too, "I mean it!"

"Medium."

"No."

"Mary-"

"Go big or go home, Francis."

"Can I think about it?" He asks but he still smiles and she smiles too and this feels different, she doesn't see their faces when she looks at him now, she just sees Francis. She's never been more desperate to try this in her life, but she scoots closer to him until they're touching and before he can ask what she's doing. She leans in and presses her lips to his lightly and it doesn't make her scared, it doesn't make her want to run away, her stomach doesn't twist with fear.

He doesn't kiss her back right away, it takes her pulling back a little and then going back in again for him to fully commit to it, but then his lips are against hers and equally gentle and his hand comes up to cup her cheek.

All these months and years of walking away from him, of leaving him, of telling herself she doesn't want him. That she can't be with him, it all led to this inevitable moment where she chooses him again and again, because she knew that she always would.

Because it's him. It's always been him.

A/N: Hi, so I lied about there being two chapters left. This is actually the last one. I miscounted my notes haha. I hope you guys enjoy it and thank you so much for not losing faith in me, I know some of you were really doubting that this was a frary fic. And before you ask, yes I have another in the works and it isn't as...heavy with the subject matter, it's actually a fun one. But it's still in it's developing stages and I cannot say for certain when it will be up. Thanks so much for reading and I will see you next time. :)