Chapter 11: Cool Kids, Cold Case – Part 2: Scars
"Tabaxi don't have a unique language, but they do have a few unique words. My name is one of them. It comes from an old draconic word for dagger. When something, or someone, is Machaira, it means that thing is brutish, stupid, ugly, unskilled – something fit only to wield a common knife."
"Why would anyone want to be called that?" Kristen asked. The cleric's eyes were wide, but then so were everyone else's. Well, she had their attention at least. Machaira shifted, grabbing her right bicep. The familiar texture of her jacket was soothing.
"Nobody; that's the point," she explained. "Tabaxi are looked at as thieves, killers, and violent animals everywhere. Their culture is all about being charismatic and pretty, avoiding suspicion by being charming. They worship a demigod called the Cat Lord: an immortal trickster who promises his worshippers beautiful, clever children. Ugly children are a prank he plays on the parents, an embarrassment but not sinful. Deformed children, on the other hand, are considered a curse against the parents for being impious."
"Are you deformed?" Kristen guessed, leaning forward over the table. "Is it your teeth? I bet it's her teeth – "
"That is not an okay thing to say," Riz told her. "Kristen, you gotta – "
"Shh," Fig hushed both of them, noticing how Machaira flinched. She slapped Riz and Kristen on the arm and nodded at the tabaxi to continue. Machaira shivered. She couldn't meet their eyes for longer than a few seconds. Gods, this was hard.
"She's not wrong. My fangs – tabaxi born with fangs like mine are called 'primitives'. We're considered throwbacks to the days before the Cat Lord, when tabaxi were wild. Primitive tabaxi are despised because we always have our teeth out, so we constantly remind others about what we came from, that, at our core, we are hunters. Primitives are supposed to be dumber and more violent, deficient compared to a normal tabaxi. It's a rare deformity, but it's considered indecent and ominous for the cub. My parents took one look at me, and they gave me a name that let everyone know I was a mistake." Mental scars throbbed, threatening to rip.
"My parents had been popular in the community until I came along. They avoided being completely ostracized by keeping me at a distance. They didn't talk to or hold me when I was young. School was free to attend, but they made me walk by myself. I always did poorly in school. The other students would hiss at me if I came too close, and I, I never made any friends. I spent a lot of time roaming the streets to stay out of the house. But no one wanted me hanging around their stores or homes and other cubs would attack me. The adults let them do it, but if I fought back, they punished me. My head and shoulders were too broad to be pretty; I was too small to ever be tall or graceful; and I was a dumb, violent deformity. They didn't want me to grow up as a part of the community. But even though I knew it would get me in trouble, fighting back was the only thing that made sense to me."
"My parents didn't want me out late because they didn't want people to see me, but I stayed out anyway because I was afraid of them. In the end though, I came home every night. I didn't know what else to do. They let me sleep in their house and gave me clothes, but they didn't always feed me. I was usually too scared to ask. When I was six… I was drinking out of a puddle, and… I ate a frog. I was just so hungry. That was my first kill. I was crying as I was eating it because the frog hadn't done anything wrong but I had killed it anyway. I loved that frog for keeping me fed, but I had killed it. Other tabaxi saw this, and it confirmed to them that was a dirty beast, an animal." Fabian gagged. The rest of the party stared at her, revolted. Adaine had frozen, mouth twisted into a disgusted frown. Machaira did her best not to look at her.
"Didn't your parents help you at all?" Gorgug asked. Machaira curled her lips, revealing hooked teeth. Tremors ran through her spine.
"Not long after the frog incident, a group of cubs from the school cornered me on the playground. They had heard about what had happened from their parents. They kept hitting me, telling me that I should leave because I was primitive, ugly, and cursed. I couldn't run, couldn't get enough room to climb the fence. Even the girls were so much bigger than I was. I just lashed out at anyone who got close enough. One of them jumped on me and scratched me across the ear." Her right ear twitched at the memory, betraying her.
"I came home crying and covered in blood. Since so much of their culture centers around beauty, scars are taboo to tabaxi. They go to a special cleric to have blemishes removed. If they can't afford it, their neighbors help raise money for the spell or the cleric heals them anyway out of charity. Even criminals have their scars removed once they finish a prison sentence. But my parents gave me a headscarf to wear over the injury so no one had to look at it. The scarf was their way of telling the community that they wouldn't protect me, that they approved of what was happening." She choked, anything she might have said next disappearing at her friends' faces. Their pity was like a thick, viscous liquid settling in her lungs. She hated it, hated how weak she must look.
"When did you leave?" Riz asked, expression tempered by reluctant curiosity. Machaira shuddered. The rogue found herself looking away more and more, tail fully entwined around her leg. She didn't want to relive this. She didn't want to see their reactions. But that was why she had to.
"When, when I was eight, my milk teeth – my baby teeth – started falling out. I overheard my parents say that once my permanent canines grew in, they would get them filed down to fit inside my mouth. That would have removed half the length of my fangs. I would be crippled for life, unable to eat or fight properly. I was terrified. No one would forget what I was just because my fangs were cut short. So I ran away. I didn't know where I was going or what I would do. I just ran. I spent weeks scavenging carcasses and eating small animals in the jungle, wandering from hiding place to hiding place. I was convinced I would die out there, eaten by a monster or struck down by disease and thirst. Other humanoids thought I was a thief playing a part. Bandits attacked me twice. Then I found a temple to Bast, hidden in the depths of the forest."
"The priests of Bast offered me food and water. I didn't trust them at first, but I was so desperate I eventually broke down and accepted. They told me about the goddess and her creed of power through sacrifice. The clerics didn't care that I was small or ugly; they didn't care that I was a child. They treated me with respect. I asked to speak with Bast. They warned me that it would be painful, but I insisted. To speak with Bast, your consciousness gets transported to the abyssal plane where she fights her enemy, the demon Apophis. Apophis's mind corrupts everything around him, twisting and breaking it down to its most chaotic. Spending more than a few minutes in his presence drives you insane."
"But Bast is almost worse. The war goddess was holding Apophis down by the neck under her bare foot, a knife in each hand. She looked up at me from the bottom of the pit, and I could feel the power of her rage searing against my skin in the real world. She, she yelled at me, ridiculed me for coming to speak with her. She told me that I didn't need her to be strong, that my survival was something to be proud of. She told me that if I killed in her name, I would never fight alone. Bast would watch and praise my struggles. The goddess said that if the world turned its back on me, I had no reason to fear it. As Bast decapitated the serpent, she told me that others suffered as I had every day, and no deity could ever stop that." Machaira took a deep breath and felt heat flush through her veins. She straightened, unsheathing her claws as she turned toward her friends. Their stares still sent quivers of dread down her limbs, but Machaira would never be ashamed of the decision she made that night in the temple.
"Bast's final words to me were not a religious statement but a challenge to action. I entered the temple a frightened little girl; I emerged a predator. I taught myself to hunt bigger game. Deer and rabbits could sustain me, but I focused on hunting dangerous creatures. I sought wolves, bears, griffons, and, once I gained a few seasons experience, young dragons and wyverns. Humanoids were another breed of game, and, just like the beasts, I didn't target the weak. I killed murders, bandits, and criminals, but only sparingly. I avoided cities, for the most part."
"So you were a vigilante?" Gorgug summarized.
"Yeah," Machaira nodded.
"Why not just tell us that?" Fabian asked.
"What happened to your other ear?" Kristen followed up.
"And how did you end up at Aguefort?" Riz said. Machaira noticed Adaine was the only one who hadn't spoken yet. She wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing yet, especially since she wasn't bold enough to look at the high elf directly. Machaira took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them, the tabaxi stared at the table to avoid meeting their gazes.
"I had spent my life being bullied and pushed away. Bast showed me how to make a difference in the world, helping people too weak to fight for themselves. But people still treated me with disdain. I didn't care, for a while. Then, when I got a little older, I… I started getting noticed. People wanted me around. They, they wanted me. I knew it was bad on some level, but – "
"What are you talking about?" Kristen interrupted. Machaira closed her eyes again. She could feel herself trembling. It was getting hard to breath.
"I started having sex," she admitted. "With anyone who wanted it. I was a twelve-year-old girl traveling by herself in the worst parts of towns and… I was desperate for the attention. I knew that it was wrong, but I wanted to be wanted." Her voice broke. Machaira shuddered a bit harder. She couldn't make herself look at them. She kept her gaze fixed on her boots.
"Did you have sex with girls?" Kristen asked.
"Kristen, stop." Fabian demanded.
"What?" The cleric protested. "I want to know. Was it hot?" Machaira didn't open her eyes, but she could feel the question being directed at her. The tabaxi flinched. "Did they, like, pull your tail – "
"Kristen, enough!" Fabian commanded. The redhead stopped talking. Machaira twitched away, ears fully flat, whiskers pulled against her cheeks. She could smell their disgust already. The scout didn't know how they would react to the next part.
"It was a little more complicated," she murmured. "When tabaxi hit puberty, we develop an adult hunting complex. Parents usually teach their cubs to repress it, kind of bury their animal side, but mine didn't bother. I was completely blindsided by how powerful these new instincts were. When it hit, everything was… intense. I was drunk on the smell of blood. Killing had always been a means for survival, but after my heat cycle started it became a need, every bit as potent as sex and hunger. I didn't know what was going on with me. I didn't want to hurt people, but the feel of claws sinking into muscle and bone…" She shivered, talons flexing from their sheaths. She felt dirty divulging this.
"You're not like that anymore, are you?" Fabian asked, edging back. Fear soured the air. Machaira's heart dropped somewhere below her navel. Their fear was so much worse than their pity.
"I mean, I think we've spent enough time with Machaira to know she can control herself now," Gorgug reasoned.
"Yes," Machaira quickly stepped in, shooting the barbarian a grateful look.
"But when you first developed these instincts…?" Riz let the question hang. Kristen stared at her with huge eyes, full of fear and a little horny. Machaira's fetal hope faded, and she nodded, looking down at the floor again.
"It was intoxicating. And most of the people interested in sex with someone that young were racketeers and killers. So, I used myself as bait. After satisfying the girl, they satisfied the predator." You could have heard a pin drop in that room. "No one ever suspected a little tabaxi girl in tight clothes. I could get as close as I wanted to the most dangerous criminals in the outlands, and they thought themselves perfectly safe until I sank my teeth into their throats. I spent more and more time in towns and cities. I started drinking and doing drugs, going from the high of dragon spice to the high of sex to the high of the kill. I… I almost destroyed myself."
"But you stopped, right?" Fig asked. Machaira nodded, shuffling her feet. Her shoulders rolled inward as she tucked her fangs under her collar. She grabbed her biceps to try and stop the shaking. Her eyes itched.
"Bast came to me in a dream. She warned me that I was wasting my potential. Bast told me that if I didn't stop, I would regret it, and soon. I didn't want to believe her. The highs I chased prevented me from having to feel too much. Even if the partners I didn't kill were, were abusive, I wanted the attention. So, that night, when I met up with this ursine that I had been, uh, seeing, I asked him to scratch my ears. I wanted to prove Bast was wrong and just pretend that I, that I mattered to someone, have a quiet, sweet moment." She squeezed her eyes closed. The confession made her feel exposed, vulnerable. The scars in her mind began to tear, bleeding for her friends to see.
"He was… He wasn't paying attention. His claws tore half my ear off and cut the back of my neck. I screamed, and he hit me on the back of the head. So I screamed again, and he hit me again. His claws… I could see little shards of bone on the bed. When I wouldn't shut up, he reached for a halberd. Instinct took over. I jumped on his back, bit down on the back of his skull, and killed him. When I stood up and looked at him, I wasn't even looking at a person. He was just one more thing that tried to hurt me, another monster I put down because I didn't know how to do anything else. I had become everything people said I would be when I was small." For once, no one had anything to say. Machaira trembled so badly she almost fell over. Her party was in shock, but that would fade soon. She could feel their reactions coming like a storm on the horizon. Her breathing had picked up, becoming faster and shallower.
"I had to take control of my life. I quit having sex for fun. I stopped killing criminals and started leaving them alive, mostly. I spent more time hunting monsters in the wild. Getting clean from the drugs took about six months. The withdrawal was, well, shit, but it gave me time to think. I, I realized that I needed direction. I just wasn't making a difference on my own. I needed someone to teach me how to make a bigger impact. I prayed to Bast for direction, and she sent one of her fallen servants to guide me to Aguefort. And, well, you know the rest."
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Kristen asked. Machaira winced.
"Would you want to go talking about that?" Fig rebuked harshly. Machaira could feel her tail vibrating around her leg, fur bristling at the tiefling's tone.
"I, I thought, maybe, Aguefort could be a fresh start," she managed. Her voice was starting to rasp. "I didn't want you to pity me or, or fear me."
"Then why tell us now?" Riz inquired.
"Because you made me!" She snarled, feeling her control crack. Her party started, shying away from her. "You're my friends, the first real friends I've ever had. I didn't want you to know ANY of this, but I couldn't just lie to you! We fought together, depended on each other. You actually treated me like a person. And then you got suspicious and told me – I, I couldn't lie to you about – how do I tell my friends that I've killed dozens of people? That I'm just a stray that was too mean and ugly to get taken in? How could I ever have your respect if you knew I was a homeless whore? And how could you ever trust me if I couldn't be honest with you?" Machaira's voice fully broke. Her vision swam. She took a step back, stumbling a bit without her tail to help balance, head ducking down. "How could I ever admit that I'm more afraid of the six of you right now than I've ever been of anything else in my life?" The scars split, fresh wounds once more.
Adaine stood up. Machaira stumbled back another step. No. Adaine turned to face her. Machaira started panicking. She couldn't make sense of her body language or scent, couldn't determine her expression through repressed tears. Adaine started walking towards her, and the tabaxi backed away clumsily. No, no, no, no, no. Her back hit the wall. Her fur puffed underneath her clothes. The rogue instinctively tried to make herself smaller, less threatening. Machaira's ears were pressed flat, tail around her leg, fangs hidden under her collar, body curled in and down, one arm held across her chest. Why was Adaine still coming? She reached out blindly, fear making her stupid in her desperate search for the door handle. Why hadn't she left the door open? Adaine was almost to her. She couldn't get away, couldn't run. And there was nothing to attack. Machaira tucked her head down and pulled her other arm in over her skull, shaking so badly that she almost fell over. The rogue squeezed her blurry eyes tightly shut. She felt a rough touch pulling at her, and Machaira whined in blind terror. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
Adaine pulled her into a tight hug. Machaira yelped fearfully at the contact. The wizard squeezed the scout with all the strength in her body, head smushed against Machaira's. Machaira's arms were folded between them, a hard barrier crushed against their breasts. Adaine couldn't exert enough force to stop her from trembling. Machaira did not move otherwise, expecting a blow that never came. Her breathing was too loud for her own ears. Her body spasmed away from Adaine instinctively, but the high elf didn't let go.
"You didn't have to tell us," Adaine muttered into her hear fur. "Gods, we should have just fucking let it go. You didn't – I can't believe you've been holding onto that this whole time." Machaira didn't understand. She kept her position, eyes held shut, waiting for the attack. "Fuck, no wonder why, I, fuck…" Adaine stammered. For once, the other girl seemed to be at a loss for words. "We shouldn't have pushed you so hard." Machaira whined again, flinching. She didn't know what was happening. She shrank a little deeper toward herself, and Adaine adjusted her grip to hold the rogue more tightly. Machaira's panic grew. Why wouldn't Adaine let her run?
"I'm sorry," Machaira rasped, weakly trying to pull away.
"What are you sorry for?" Adaine demanded, voice thick with emotion Machaira was not cognizant enough to grasp. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"I am so sorry for pressuring you." Riz's voice floated from somewhere behind Adaine. "I, god, you could have just told us to let it go."
"I told you it wasn't our business," Gorgug reminded them quietly. The confirmation that her party had been talking about her behind her back elicited another recoil from the tabaxi, and Adaine tried to constrict her more.
"No, but it's good that you told us," Fig spoke up, pitch changing tone as she directed her speech toward the party and Machaira alternately. "You can't keep that much shit bottled up."
"I don't want to be pitied," the tabaxi hissed, but her voice was a harsh, grating whisper.
"Machaira, you are the strongest person I know," Adaine declared firmly. Machaira whined and shook her head. She didn't want to be lied to. "It's true," the wizard snapped fiercely. "You survived so much shit all by yourself, and you didn't become a warlock or an extreme cultist. You went to school to become a better person."
"Yeah, you're a badass bitch, Machaira," Fig promised. Her voice had gotten closer.
"I feel a little sorry for you," Kristen said. A hand thumped against flesh. "Ow! What, don't the rest of you?"
"Of course," Adaine shot back. Machaira tried to shy away again. Adaine had to strain to keep the shaking girl in place. "You know what, I feel bad for you." The elf admitted roughly. "You didn't deserve any of that. From what you just said, you've been through hell. That's not okay. But I don't – you're not like some weak little damsel. You're a fighter, and you're our friend. Like, shit, I'm impressed that you're alive at all, but I don't like…" Adaine huffed, and Machaira shuddered harder, irrationally afraid of being the target of the elf's frustration.
"I'm going to feel bad that you've been suffering, alright?" Adaine burst. "But I don't think less of you for it."
"Christ, Machaira, we're not heartless," Fabian exclaimed. "You got dragged through hell. I mean, yeah, I feel sorry for you, but I've seen you fight."
"Yeah, and you kick ass," Fig said. Machaira felt herself pulled toward the left as another set of arms wrapped around her. Adaine's warm scent was cut with the familiar mix of smoke, booze, and brimstone she'd come to associate with Fig. Her eyes burned, pressure building as tears tried to force their way out. "Like, I don't blame you for keeping this a secret, but if anything, I respect you more for telling us."
"Yeah," Adaine agreed. "I would never be brave enough to talk about any of that." The wizard rubbed her back firmly. Machaira lost the battle against her tears as she slowly realized that her friends weren't rejecting her. They didn't think less of her for her past. The rogue felt light-headed as a weight slipped off of her like a lead vest. She completely fell apart at that point, voice crumpling into a thin, barely audible whimper. She buried her face in Adaine's chest, finally returning the elf's embrace as she cried furious, ugly tears. Machaira unsheathed her claws into Adaine's blazer, careful not to pierce her skin as she gripped tightly to her friend.
Somehow she ended up on the floor, curled against Adaine as the elf kneeled before her. Fig sat behind her, and both girls rubbed her back, softly rustling the scales of her jacket. Machaira subconsciously arched her spine into their caresses. Her shudders slowly eased until she stilled in her friends' arms, all but lying in Adaine's lap. She kept her eyes closed, head twisted to the left, pressing her muzzle and head into Adaine's sternum and tucking her fangs under the wizard's blazer. She could hear her friends murmuring around her, their voices beginning to blur together as she came down from her anxious high, emotional and mental exhaustion creeping in. Occasionally other hands patted her shoulder or back, but Adaine's touch was the only constant pressure. Machaira sniffed, cautiously nuzzling Adaine's chest, a slow weep of dwindling tears soaking the rough fabric of her uniform. The wizard petted her back with firm, slow hands, the only one of the party who wasn't speaking. When Machaira finally mustered the nerve to peek up, Adaine was smiling gently at her, expression soft with sympathy and affection. Machaira shivered and pressed deeper into the elf's embrace, closing her eyes again. The scents of her friends mingled in her nose, though Adaine's was a little stronger. Machaira fully relaxed, tail unwinding from her leg, ears and whiskers straightening. A purr caught in her throat, almost escaping as a sense of security stole over the tabaxi.
"Well, this was certainly an unexpected turn of events," an airy, male voice proclaimed. Machaira's eyes flew open. She looked around Adaine's arm to see Gilear standing at the kitchen counter.
"When did Gilear get here?" She hissed, voice rough from crying. Her ears flattened again, and her tail whipped about, slapping Fig in the stomach behind her.
"Oh, I've been standing in front of Gilear and Sklonda this whole time," Gorgug realized out loud. Machaira stiffened. Now that she was looking, she could see Sklonda Gukgak standing next to Gilear deeper in the kitchen. Both adults had been completely covered from her position at the doorway by the half-orc's wide frame. Fig led the first round of laughter, cackling in the high-energy way one tended to after a tense moment. Even Adaine snickered, though her expression remained sympathetic. Machaira groaned, hiding her face in the wizard's stomach. She could feel the heat of her blush and knew it had to be showing through all the way down her throat.
"Please kill me now," she requested through a mouthful of shirt. "Just take the dagger off my waist and stab me through the neck." Adaine laughed and petted her nicely but did not put Machaira out of her misery.
"Perhaps it is not my place," Gilear began. "But, as one who has also fallen on hard times, I must say that it is remarkable you have withstood so much. Truly, I do admit to feeling guilty for my self-loathing over my own situation by compare." Machaira groaned louder. She was more pathetic than Gilear the lunch lad. She could not possibly sink any lower. "I'm going to guess that was not the right thing to say."
"Probably not, Gilear," Fig giggled. "But I know you meant well."
"Yes, well, meaning well and doing well are quite different," Gilear murmured. The whole party chuckled at Gilear's expense. Adaine squeezed Machaira's shoulder. The tabaxi shifted to fit more of her body in Adaine's lap. The wizard giggled and ruffled her back through the jacket. Fig renewed her laughter and rubbed her spine. Gorgug clumsily patted her shoulder. Machaira's tail brushed over the limbs and backs of her friends, clinging to whoever stayed within range. Her friends chuckled at her obvious enjoyment, but the tabaxi couldn't bring herself to be embarassed.
"Machaira," Sklonda broke up the wonderful petting, walking over to the rogue. Fig and Gorgug backed up to make space for her, but Adaine pulled the scout closer to her chest, expression shifting from affection to caution. The goblin's mouth was set in a hard line, face tight with anger and some other emotion the rogue was too tired to name. Machaira found herself recoiling slightly, mane bristling and tail skittering over the floor. Sklonda stopped just out of reach, her head barely above the tabaxi's.
"I've been a cop a long time," Sklonda told her, taking a deep breath. "I've seen a lot of girls at your age in your position. Victims of neglect, abuse – " She cut herself as Machaira drew back a touch further, clawed fingers gripping the back of Adaine's shoulders. "I've seen a lot of girls go through similar traumas," she backtracked carefully. "A lot of them turn to sex, drugs, and abusive partners to cope with it. Very few bounce back from their past to lead a healthy life. And none on their own." The cop smiled, and Machaira could sense the conflicting emotions within her. But the rogue felt raw, too weary and afraid to properly identify the goblin's thoughts.
"You are the first child I have seen in your situation who, on her own, decided to enroll in school," Sklonda informed her gently. "More than fifteen years on the force, and I've never met anyone who had that response. I'm glad Riz has friends like you." Machaira's ears rose just a touch, fur beginning to flatten. Adaine rubbed her back in soothing circles. "I know – you said something about having a camp at the station. Clearly, you've been taking care of yourself for a long time. But if there's anything you need, just ask, okay?" Sklonda met her eyes, and Machaira could see that she meant it. The older woman held her position for a bit, waiting. Machaira moistened her lips. She glanced at Riz, and the other rogue nodded at her encouragingly.
"Can I…" Machaira gulped down a hiccup, licking her lips again. "Can I come here to do laundry sometimes?" She whispered. "And maybe take a shower if it's raining?"
"Of course," Sklonda answered immediately. "Any time you need to, you are more than welcome."
"Thank you," Machaira replied shakily. "Thank you, all of you." She addressed the room at large, shoulders rolling in a bit at having everyone stare at her. "I am, I'm so sorry for ruining the night like this. And I'm sorry I didn't call you Tuesday." She apologized to Adaine directly, head bowing in shame.
"Don't be," Adaine responded instantly. "You had enough to deal with. I should have been there for you, too."
"You don't have anything to be sorry about," Fig protested. "We're your friends."
"Christ, no, of course." Fabian pulled his hands down his face. "Don't apologize for that."
"We did literally ask for this," Riz admitted.
"And we haven't started dinner yet," Gorgug added. Kristen finger snapped and pointed at the half-orc.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Sklonda asked. "You're more than welcome to." Machaira nodded shyly. "Great, it should be ready soon."
"Can we keep petting you?" Fig asked. "This is weirdly relaxing."
"I don't think Adaine wants to let go of her anytime soon," Kristen piped up with a lecherous grin and an exaggerated creepy wink at the high elf. Machaira shrank from the cleric. Adaine looked down at the tabaxi with a smile and a blush.
"I really don't," she admitted. Machaira butted the crown of her skull against Adaine's collarbone to hide her embarrassed joy. "But, Machaira, I, uh, I do have a question for you." The tabaxi took a deep breath and looked up at Adaine. The other girl bit her lip, looking down at Machaira with nervous desire. "Can I, can I touch your ears?" Machaira's ears flattened. Her breathing picked up. The rogue shrunk inward but didn't let go of her friend.
"I, I, I mean…" Machaira stuttered a train of nonsense syllables in an impromptu Fabian impression. "You, you know how, how – "
"No, I do," Adaine stepped in hastily. "I know. I get how much of a trigger that is. But I, I…" The wizard glanced at their audience as if wishing that they weren't there before squaring her thin shoulders and turning resolutely toward Machaira. "I want to show you that I, we, care about you, kind of undo or push back against…" She took a quick, sharp breath. "I want you to feel safe. And I want to do it in a way that's meaningful, if you'll let me."
Machaira drew her arms back to her chest. There was a big difference between touching her tail or her back through her clothes and what Adaine was asking. Her scars flared with phantom pains. With everyone in the room, she should have felt trapped and on display. But, looking into Adaine's face, Machaira almost forgot about the others. Her friend was nervous, but her eyes were filled with love and concern. The elf's gaze was not soft but fierce, determined to see her goal through: confident Adaine making another appearance. In this case, her goal was to make Machaira feel cared for. No, it was to prove that Machaira could trust her to be there for her.
The tabaxi shivered, daunted by the weighty proposal, but found herself nodding a 'yes'. She slowly, fearfully, lowered the crown of her skull to Adaine's chest, presenting the back of her head and neck. The last time she had presented herself to be touched like this was with the ursine. Every instinct in her body screamed at her not to do this save for one, the one that took in Adaine's scent and found nothing but comfort in it. She felt Adaine's hand trail along her back over her jacket. The sensation brought waves of dread crashing about her subconscious, and she shook harder. Adaine's hand stilled at the collar of her jacket. Machaira reached out and seized her wrist. The scout slowly eased her grip and slid her hand over Adaine's, guiding the wizard toward the space between her ears. As the tip of the elf's finger brushed her head fur, Machaira froze, and let go of Adaine's hand.
It was another few moments before the light pressure fell between her ears, and Machaira had to fight to hold back a howl. Memories of attack, betrayal, and deprecation came pouring in, overpowering her. Tears once more sprang to her eyes. She needed to run, hide, or fight back. But this was Adaine; she had nothing to fight against. After a few agonizing moments, the memories became distorted, fuzzy. Her panic mellowed, trickling away like snowmelt. Before, her confession had felt like a part of her defenses had had been ripped open. Now, it felt like a scar inside her was dissolving in the face of a soft warmth spreading from her head and across her body, seeping deep into the tabaxi's battered, tired muscles to her soul. Machaira's senses dimmed and eventually died away as a gentle, dark blanket was pulled over her mind, leaving only the beautiful caress against her head and a secure, black embrace.
"If I get string cheese and you get crackers, we can have cheese and crackers." Kristen's vending machine dinner
Adaine felt ridiculous and nervous as she stroked her friend's head. What was she thinking? This had to be weird, right? Machaira had pet her, but that was in private when Adaine was having a panic attack, not in a room full of people. She knew how heavy a trigger this had to be for the scout. The elf felt like she was just further traumatizing her friend at this point. Adaine's nerves began to catch up with her. She was on the verge of stopping right there and pretending like she was done when she noticed Machaira's terrified quivering had slowed under her hand. Eventually the tabaxi stilled completely, muscles easing as she relaxed under Adaine's touch. Machaira arched her neck up toward her fingers. A sound began to build on the edge of her hearing. Adaine's hand tingled against Machaira's head.
Adaine grinned with glee as Machaira purred. The rumble grew in strength, so low and powerful that it was more of a tremor in the air than a true noise. Adaine's entire body vibrated with it as she sank back against the floor, posture falling out of the rigid position she had been taught to hold at all times. The purr ignited primal emotions in the deepest recesses of her mind where logic held no sway, buried memories of warmth and safety and love. Adaine ruffled the tips of her nails against the tabaxi's scars, and the purr swelled to fill the room. Her friends all began to laugh softly, easing into more comfortable positions as the sound affected them as well. The wizard knew there was no sorcery in the purring, only a basal understanding of tender ideas that transcended culture, language, or species.
Adaine had wanted to pet Machaira properly for a long time, ever since the tabaxi admitted that she liked it during her furry rant. Now she never wanted to stop. Machaira's coat was every bit as soft as she had imagined. The fur on her head was short and fine like on her hand or face, but her mane was a different story altogether. The thick ruff began just behind her ears, growing longer and fluffier down her neck to her shoulders. To Adaine's delight, it was in fact dense enough to hide her whole hand inside of it. The wizard wasted no time burying her thin fingers in the mass of silky fur, nestling deeper through her pelt to gently scratch the skin beneath. Her other hand lightly petted the rogue around the ears, fingers carefully caressing the claws marks that tore across her skull. Machaira's body had gone limp on her lap, head swaying slightly with the motions of her fingers. The purring rose in power until, just as Machaira had told her, the furniture began to shake. A chair skittered across the floor and had to be chased down by a giggling Gorgug. Plates rattled on the counter, and thin sheets of dust fell from the ceiling.
"Oh my god," Kristen exclaimed slowly, face split with a wild grin.
"This is the best thing ever," Fig laughed, smiling hugely.
"This is pretty awesome," Riz agreed. "But our neighbors are gonna fucking hate us."
"They can go fuck off," Fig asserted, leaning back against the wall. "We are gonna be doing this a lot."
"Christ, I can't believe she actually fucking purrs," Fabian laughed without malice. Adaine's face hurt from smiling. She moved her hand from the scout's skull to her ear, rubbing the velvety flap of skin between her thumb and forefinger. Machaira twisted her head into the touch, eyes closed in pleasure. Adaine curled her fingers and gripped a fistful of fur in the tabaxi's ruff, rocking her wrist backward the way Machaira had shown her. The purring spiked again, knocking a couple of plastic cups over as the table rocked beneath them. Machaira wrapped her arms around Adaine's waist, but the rogue's normal strength had deserted her. Claws weakly flexed against her uniform. The fluffy tail whisked up off the floor, curling over her back to lie atop Adaine's arm.
As Adaine took in Machaira's blissful expression, the wizard realized that her nerves were gone. The seeds of anxiety that always lay deep in the back of her mind had melted away. In the face of the intimacy she was sharing with Machaira, the world wasn't scary or complicated. Her stress had so completely evaporated, Adaine felt almost light-headed. Peace stole over the high elf. She realized that she liked providing this joy and comfort. She liked the warmth that radiated from Machaira, banishing the residual chills from the air conditioner and her family's treatment of her the past few days. Adaine especially liked the bond of affection that flowed between them, present before but fully expressed now. Unfortunately, it didn't last.
"I hate to break this up, but I don't think the apartment can take this for much longer," Sklonda informed them, giving the girls a knowing smile. "If the two of wouldn't mind picking this up later?" Adaine blushed and reluctantly detached her hands. Machaira's muzzle chased her a bit, nosing a retreating palm before flopping onto Adaine's leg, purrs still rumbling up from her chest. "Machaira, kiddo," Sklonda tried to get the tabaxi's attention.
"I don't think she can hear you," Riz laughed. The other goblin seemed to be correct. Machaira remained in a haze, shifting to lie her muzzle along Adaine's thigh. Kristen poked Machaira in the butt with her staff. Her claws pulled at Adaine's back, and her tail flicked a bit, but otherwise the Machaira did not react, deaf to the world. Her purrs gradually fell to silence. Her face, the fur of which was still stained dark with tear marks, was soft with content, completely at odds with the thumping of unnamed residents of Strongtower Luxury Apartments running through the halls above them.
They all had a good laugh at the confused people upstairs. Adaine smirked and swiped her thumb over Machaira's cheek. The tabaxi sighed, spread her jaws, and mouthed Adaine's thigh, gripping her leg without applying pressure. For a moment, the elf could feel the power in her jaws. Machaira's fangs gleamed a dull ivory, almost as strong and hard as daggers. But the elf knew her friend wouldn't hurt her, and sure enough Machaira let go after a moment, rubbing her muzzle on Adaine's knee before dropping her head again. The party chuckled, and after a minute or two Machaira seemed to more or less come to her senses, blinking groggily. Slowly her expression morphed from sleepy happiness to utter mortification.
"Please… PLEASE tell me I didn't…" The tabaxi begged Adaine, staring up from the high elf's lap.
"You purred," Adaine confirmed happily. "So loudly. I told you I'd hear it." Machaira groaned and covered her face with her hands, rolling off of Adaine and onto the floor. They all had another laugh at their tabaxi before Kristen started asking Fig about a moderately sexy rat she'd seen that morning. Soon the party descended into their usual nonsense and took seats around the table. Gilear had to step out to answer a call on his crystal. While he was out, Sklonda picked up dinner. Machaira did her best not to draw any further attention to herself for the rest of the night, only speaking when spoken to and keeping her body pulled inward.
While they waited for Sklonda, Adaine scooted to sit closer to the tabaxi. Machaira kept brushing up against her, much to the rogue's embarrassment. Adaine felt hypersensitive to these touches, each little contact sending lines of fire along her legs. But the wizard did nothing to discourage them, even intentionally grazing against Machaira's tail and jeans from time to time. Although the rogue was clearly embarrassed, she soon stopped flinching away from Adaine and even looped her tail around the high elf's ankle. Adaine wasn't totally sure why she was doing this. It felt like a secret that she very much wanted to stay between them, but she didn't want to break physical contact with her friend. Eventually Machaira settled, not quite comfortable but not openly anxious either. Adaine decided to count that as a win and spent dinner playing footsie with Machaira's tail, for which she was met with no resistance save the occasional tail flick.
Sklonda returned about fifteen minutes later with takeout Bastion Market, all of which was greasy and breaded in some way. Fig rushed off to retrieve Gilear. While most of the party seemed excited for the meal, the three more reasonable voices of the group pursed their lips and kept quiet. Fig, who had been sitting between Sklonda and Gilear's chairs, asked her father to switch places with her so she could sit next to Gorgug, grinning mischievously at the two when they weren't looking. Adaine loved the tiefling, but she was wary of whatever scheme Fig might have settled on.
"Alright, kids, go ahead and eat," Sklonda said, passing containers of food around the table. Adaine quietly took a little container of elven whey bread from her backpack and ate that instead. Adaine had already explained to the party that she had Celiac disease, which prevented her from eating anything with gluten in it. Fabian pushed his serving to The Ball when Sklonda wasn't looking. Machaira hesitantly sniffed around a bit before selecting a few bites of fried meat that she could peel the breading off of. The tabaxi wolfed down her meal in three gulps. Her expression sharpened, and she licked her fangs. As Machaira carefully placed her hands in her lap, stomach gurgling, Adaine wondered when she had last eaten.
"Sklonda, this meal is exquisite," Gilear told the detective. Fig was immediately overcome with giggles. Adaine felt her face pulling into a smile against her will and struggled to maintain control. She knew Fig's plan now, and it had more merit than most of her other ideas. Riz smirked and shook his head, completely taken by surprise. "This corned bread is particularly scrumptious. It reminds me of lembas. Uh, do you have lembas wherever you're from? Where are you – you from the Mountain of Chaos?" Adaine's smile faded. Sklonda looked up at Gilear.
"I'm from Bastion City," she corrected Gilear slowly. "Uh, I didn't make any of this. This is takeout. I've sort of worked a long shift." Gilear looked down at the table for a moment. When he lifted his head and faced the goblin, Adaine could see that the wood elf had collected every scrap of dignity and charisma he had for this. Fig grinned, bouncing just a tiny bit in anticipation.
"Sklonda, I have rudely interjected myself, ignorantly, into this conversation." Gilear began with promise. Adaine leaned forward to watch. Fig stared unashamedly. "I… I won't lie to you, Sklonda. I… found out recently that… one of my shoes is so filled with mildew because a pipe in my bedroom is leaking that I have a fungal infection in my foot which I didn't think was possible for elves… to get." Adaine and Kristen covered their mouths with their hands to hide their silent laughter. Gorgug cracked a smile. Fabian stared ahead in quiet pity. Fig winked at her stepdad, and the glow of bardic inspiration was consumed almost as soon as it appeared. "I… should see myself out. I… it's been a long time since I've, sort of, spoken with anyone, and I've made a fool of myself." Fig stared, mouth held open in dismay as he stood to leave. Gorgug peered at Gilear as if trying to see what was wrong with him.
"Ahhh, Gil, it's okay," Sklonda protested. "It's fine. You can take a seat. Ah, can I get you anything to drink? Want anything to drink?"
"I, I actually brought this," Gilear remembered, pulling a bottle out of a plastic bag he'd left on the counter when he first arrived. "It's a bottle of elven wine." Gilear presented Sklonda with a giant bottle of cheap, warehouse-brand elven wine. Gilear popped it open and poured a glass for the goblin. Sklonda knocked the glass back. Riz bit his nails. Fabian smirked and raised his eyebrows at Gilear, reevaluating.
"Thanks, I appreciate it," Sklonda told Gilear. "I haven't had a glass of elven wine in a, I don't even know how long." Fig looked about the party, face held in a frozen, silent scream of triumph. The two adults spent most of the meal chatting and drinking. Sklonda apparently liked elven wine a lot and got a little too deep into her cups. The goblin had told them what the commissioner had allowed her to before Machaira's arrival, but with the wine to loosen her lips, she began to discuss more details surrounding the case.
"Yeah, you guys did amazing work," she admitted. "That was something really incredible. I, I can't tell ya' how proud I am. Uh, obviously, ya' know, don't kill any more of your teachers. But – "
"We only killed one," Fabian pointed out.
"Sure."
"The other two killed each other," Fabian stressed.
"Yeah, and, technically, I mean, the coach isn't even a teacher," Adaine added. Machaira quirked a smile.
"I suppose you haven't killed any academic faculty yet," Sklonda conceded.
"Exactly," Fabian agreed, smiling.
"You did kill a lunch lady," Riz reminded Adaine.
"Adaine killed a lunch lady," Fabian repeated. Adaine winced. She was still not totally over Doreen. Machaira's hand found hers under the table, wrapping around the back of her palm.
"I mean, we all killed her together," Adaine protested. "It wasn't just me."
"We did not do it together," Fabian denied empirically. "You exclusively beat her over the head with a ladle." Adaine shrank inward a bit, pursing her lips and staring at the table. Machaira gave her hand a squeeze and rubbed her thumb over the back of her hand in soothing circles. The tabaxi was still reticent, body drawn inward, but she offered the high elf a sympathetic look.
"Uh, mom, what does, ha – have you found any evidence about the missing girls with this Harvestmen stuff?" Riz asked. Sklonda nodded. Kristen turned her glass almost upside down and gulped her entire drink in one swallow. Gorgug sputtered a giggle through clenched lips. Adaine openly laughed, breath hitching as she went from guilty to happy on a coin flip.
"Many apologies," Kristen declared. They all fully laughed at her. Machaira merely smiled. She went to remove her hand now that Adaine was okay, and the wizard seized her under the table, quickly forcing her fingers between Machaira's. The rogue flinched a bit as Adaine clasped her as if she expected something harsher. The high elf tried to mimic Machaira and rubbed the rogue's hand with her thumb, but she could feel her own jerkiness and lack of rhythm. Despite this, the other girl relaxed a bit and gave her hand a much more modest squeeze in response.
"Yeah, uh, we've been tracking them," Sklonda promised. "We think Daybreak may have sent the palimpsests to Highcourt. There's a lot of Harvestmen and religious fundamentalists in the nation of Highcourt. So now it's just kind of a waiting game. We have to wait for the State Department to give us some kind of extradition and allow us to conduct a foreign kind of investigation."
"Say no more," Fig announced, smiling cheekily. Sklonda straightened a bit, turning to the tiefling.
"Oh, for sure not," she said hastily, pointing at the bard. "Not for you." Adaine giggled at Fig's insistence of clinging to her lie. "I actually am going to speak to your father about it soon, Adaine." Sklonda informed her. "Um, because we might need Fallinel's help. Highcourt is, um… they're in a very politically unstable place. We think some elven mediation will probably help us."
"Um… can I give you some advice that you might not want to hear?" Adaine asked slowly.
"Sure."
"I would have, maybe, if you have a colleague who is an elf – my dad sucks," Adaine finished awkwardly, waving a hand in a cut off motion, face falling into distressed shame. Sklonda took a deep breath. "Have an elf talk to him." Adaine rushed, wincing.
"Gotcha," Sklonda sighed. "Rodger that, yeah. I appreciate the uh – being straight forward. It is what it is." The goblin assured Adaine as the elf tried to stumble through an apology.
"I think your dad's a racist," Kristen voiced unnecessarily. Adaine nodded a bit, working a finger around the collar of her shirt. Machaira tightened her hold on Adaine's hand, giving the diviner a supportive glance. Adaine smiled back, and Machaira let go of her hand, arms folding awkwardly into her lap. Adaine patted her knee under the table, and Machaira's tail looped twice around her calf.
"I know a good, very charismatic elf that could, that is like a diplomat," Fig told Sklonda.
"Mm, this yogurt tastes just like potatoes," Gilear hummed. Adaine smirked, restraining her giggles. Fig and Riz openly laughed.
"That's mashed potatoes," Gorgug politely informed Gilear.
"Hmm?"
"You're just eating mashed potatoes," Riz reiterated.
"Ah," Gilear realized his blunder and pursed his lips. "I've, I've committed – "
"Not everything is yogurt," Riz said around his snickers.
"Another own goal for Gilear Faeth, yes," the wood elf rolled with the insult as only an uncool dad could.
"Own goal," Kristen cackled at Gilear's lack of sports knowledge.
"Alright," Gilear sighed. Fig tussled Gilear's patch of hair. "Op, that's my bald spot." Fig giggled with the rest of the party at her sad parent. "I was wondering why there wasn't fruit at the bottom, and now – "
"Of the potatoes?" Gorgug tried to clarify.
"You don't have to go into it, Gilear," Riz let him know.
"Yeah, yeah, it was a sad moment," Kristen tittered.
"You thought it was – " Riz began.
"I gotta be honest, I wanted more," Gorgug interrupted.
"I don't like mashed potatoes," Adaine offered.
"Run forward," Riz laughed, waving at Gorgug. They fell about their usual silliness for the rest of dinner. Machaira didn't laugh out loud, but she smiled a little more. Adaine liked her smile. She thought it was sweet. After they ate, Riz asked if they wanted to watch a movie. The party agreed on a title Adaine was not familiar with, some dumb comedy that no one especially liked or hated, essentially white noise to listen to while they had simultaneous food comas and joked around. However, as they were about to settle in, Sklonda pulled Machaira aside and asked to speak with her in private. The rogue shifted about a bit as she relented, looking uneasily at Adaine. The high elf nodded encouragingly, trying to hide her own unease.
As Machaira followed Sklonda into another room, the rest of the party divvied up seats on the floor. Since fitting everyone on the couch would be a nightmare, Fabian, Riz, and Kristen claimed the couch while the others sat on the floor. Adaine wasn't allowed to sit on the floor at home, and the novelty of hanging around on the carpet seemed like fun. Fig claimed that this was indeed where the fun people sat, and Kristen quickly switched to the floor crowd, leaving her seat free for Gorgug to take. The bard immediately cried treachery, citing that the boys now had the couch while the girls were sitting on the floor. After several minutes of chicanery, Kristen, Fabian, and Riz stayed on the couch while the others spread out around the floor. Adaine propped her back against the right arms of the couch, shifting Kristen's leg to the side. As they started the movie, Adaine kept glancing over at the door Sklonda had led Machaira through.
The high elf was more than a little shaken by the night's events. While she had suspected that Machaira more or less took care of herself, she at least thought the tabaxi had some semblance of a home or family to go to, even if it was a crappy one. When Machaira admitted that she lived in a camp in the woods, Adaine wasn't sure how to take it. Strictly speaking, Machaira hadn't outright lied, but she'd certainly skated over the truth plenty of times. Yes, it was Machaira's business how much she wanted to reveal about her life, and yes Adaine felt bad for her. But she felt like that was important information that her best friend should have been comfortable enough to tell her. Adaine had been more than a bit hurt.
Then Machaira stood up to her parents again. Her rage had been explosive, frightening to behold even as the beneficiary. As much as Adaine loved seeing someone take her parents down a peg, Machaira's tirade had been stunning for greater reasons. The high elf had thought several of the things she'd said for years but never had the courage to say them. That Machaira would give those thoughts voice without Adaine telling them to her was a little jarring but also reassuring. She'd felt closer to Machaira then, despite the recent revelation. The support and respect the tabaxi had shown her was awesome, but Machaira's promise to see everything through was even better. Adaine had left the police station fortified, determined to see what happened next.
Perhaps that was why she had been so angry at her the past two days. After they got home, Adaine's parents had laid into her for hours. The endless harangue coupled with exhaustion from the battle eventually broke down the energy she'd taken from Machaira's speech. Adaine had started to hyperventilate and cry, which only reinforced her parents' idea that she didn't know what she was doing. Aelwyn had watched the entire time, only ever speaking when Adaine tried to defend herself, perfect, refined voice easily drowning out Adaine's nervous mousy whispers. Panic attacks rolled in like waves, continuing long after Adaine was finally released to go to bed. She had curled up on top of the sheets feeling miserable and weak, drifting in and out of a restless doze.
But for the first time since starting Aguefort, she didn't have Machaira to comfort her. The tabaxi hadn't called, and Adaine had been afraid of what that might mean. The rogue HAD to know what her parents were like and how upset Adaine would be. Machaira had said she would see this through with them, but she'd been lying to them all for weeks. Adaine felt like she'd been lied to just then, lying alone and unwanted in her room. When Machaira didn't contact her at all that night or the next day, a confused and wounded Adaine decided that Machaira really didn't care about her. They had only known each other a few weeks after all. She would hear her story then keep Machaira at arm's reach. The wizard knew, at some level, she was being harsh, but she was also angry and hurt and didn't see what Machaira could possibly have to say that would justify abandoning Adaine to her nasty family.
Throughout Machaira's confession, Adaine had been numb with horror and self-loathing. As bad as her family was, Machaira's upbringing had been brutal beyond anything she'd imagined. Adaine understood why Machaira would want to hide her past. The high elf knew she would never have been able to talk about any of that if she had been in Machaira's place. She'd have simply estranged herself from the party altogether to avoid having to relive it. Scratch that, Adaine would have died long before she reached that point. The wizard had almost asked Machaira to stop talking because she was fighting back panic attacks just hearing about it. She also knew why the scout didn't call her. Confessing to this over the crystal when she couldn't see Adaine's reaction – no. That would have been so much scarier for the rogue.
Finally Machaira's defenses had broken. She's given in to the party's demands, but the emotional strain had cracked whatever mental walls she'd erected against the trauma. Machaira's last few statements, forced out around tears by the trembling tabaxi, had cut Adaine deeply. I'm just a stray that was too mean and ugly to get taken in. The shame in her eyes ran deep, and Adaine knew then that Machaira truly believed every terrible thing she had been told about herself. And that fact was so fundamentally wrong it hurt.
Adaine had meant it when she said that Machaira was the strongest person she knew. The wizard couldn't imagine anyone surviving what the rogue had and emerging as anything halfway decent, much less as loving as Machaira was. Compared to the tabaxi's history, Adaine's family and panic attacks felt almost minor. Her family was cold and callous, but they weren't monsters. She'd been given at least some protection and care, especially when she was younger. Hell, their whole party probably couldn't muster that kind of suffering among them. But Machaira had never belittled Adaine for her moments of weakness. She'd been nothing but supportive, loving even, in her treatment of Adaine and the party as a whole. Just because you haven't seen me breakdown doesn't mean I don't have those moments. Machaira had told her that weeks ago, but Adaine hadn't believed her. Well, Machaira had broken down, and she'd been convinced that her friends would turn on her just like everyone else had. And Adaine couldn't even blame her because the elf had been ready to dismiss Machaira herself just minutes before.
Adaine wasn't angry anymore. She just wanted Machaira to be okay. When Machaira flinched and cried at Adaine's hug, trembling with terror that the wizard would hurt her, the high elf's panic calcified into a steely promise. This girl had brought love and warmth back into her life, and Adaine was determined to do the same for her. She understood that the tabaxi would need years to recover from this, and Adaine would be there every step of the way.
About twenty-five minutes into the movie, Machaira and Sklonda reemerged almost soundlessly. Sklonda patted her arm and walked over to the kitchen to talk to Gilear, who had taken up the dishwashing. Machaira shifted in place outside the door, looking uneasily at her party members. With the lights turned off for the movie, the tabaxi's dark clothes were almost totally black to Adaine's dark vision. Machaira glanced over and took a cautious step sideways toward the front door, tail trembling on the floor. Adaine immediately gestured for her to come over. Machaira froze, ears back. Adaine tried to smile, swallowing her distress, and waved her over again. Machaira hesitantly padded over, dropping onto her knees to avoid blocking the screen. Riz walked over to the kitchen to talk to his mom.
As the tabaxi slunk past toward the space between the couch and the wall, Adaine reached out and took her shoulders, tugging back gently. Machaira flinched, looking back at Adaine uncertainly. Adaine tugged again, and Machaira slowly relented, allowing Adaine to pull her to the elf's chest. Adaine leaned back on the couch as Machaira curled up against her chest, face tucked into the elf's collar. Machaira drew herself into a fetal position, shoulders rolling in. Adaine sandwiched her friend between her own legs. She began to rub Machaira's back as the rogue settled into place. A fluffy tail wound about her waist where it belonged.
"Mom, what were you doing with Machaira?" Riz asked. Sklonda sighed.
"I was taking an official statement," she admitted. The goblins were trying to be quiet, but the apartment was tiny. The couch was maybe fifteen feet away, and everyone but Kristen had exceptional hearing. "I let her go because she's a student at the academy, but not every cop is going to be so lenient to an illegal immigrant, especially a young tabaxi girl. Technically she's a minor, and her parents still have legal authority over her. Most cops would have turned her in to be deported back to them in Tybal Terra. It might still happen if she gets in trouble with the law again. I want her to pledge herself to the Charter of Solace and become a citizen. But to do that, she needs to confess to any past crimes so that she can be cleared of them by the Council. I was going over her past to make an official transcript, but I didn't have the heart to finish." Machaira hid against Adaine as the goblins looked over at her. Adaine rubbed her friend's back more vigorously, holding her close. The wyvern scales were bumpy under her hand.
"What if your parents come back for you?" Kristen asked loudly, leaning over the couch to peer down into Machaira's face.
"No," Machaira rasped. Adaine's heart pulled. Sher sounded awful, exhausted and miserable.
"This stuff with the Harvestmen is going international," Kristen pressed. "It'll probably be big news. Suppose they hear about it? They could come find you and – "
"No," Machaira growled, grabbing herself with crossed arms, claws unsheathed. "No, that, no, no – "
"That won't happen," Adaine snarled fiercely, turning a blazing blue gaze between the rogue and cleric. "They won't come for you. And even if they did, they're not your family anymore." Machaira met Adaine's gaze with wide eyes. The tabaxi was clearly emotionally exhausted and scared. Adaine petted her from the forehead down her skull and neck before she lost her nerve. Machaira flinched sharply and whimpered at her touch but pushed her face against Adaine's chest, shivering. Adaine petted her again, and Machaira crooned quietly and wrapped her arms around Adaine's waist under the blazer, quivers easing back as Adaine continued to touch her. Kristen got her 'sexy rat' look, but Fig thumped her on the calf before the cleric could say anything.
Adaine didn't retain a thing from the movie. Machaira was warm in her arms, supporting enough of her own weight to be comfortable instead of crushing. She stroked her friend softly, languidly scratching her head, her ears, her mane. Machaira was all but asleep, purring drowsily under Adaine's ministrations. The sound reverberated through her chest, filling her mind with a soft sense of content. The others seemed to feel the same because soon the party had gone from boisterous and teasing to quiet and smiley, heads nodding on slumped shoulders as they tried to stay awake. Fig occasionally flashed a weird smile at Adaine when she thought the wizard wasn't looking, but there was nothing vicious in the expression.
Though they were in a room with other people, the moment was profoundly more intimate than anything Adaine had shared before. Machaira hardly moved save for when she nuzzled Adaine or turned her head to provide better access for the elf, dead to everything and anything that wasn't Adaine. The wizard likewise did not move except to lean further back against the couch, fingers roaming tenderly through the scout's silky fur. Twice Adaine stopped scratching her, hand resting peacefully in Machaira's fluffy mane. The tabaxi would rub her muzzle on Adaine's shoulder, tickling her a few times before settling placidly against her chest again. When she did this Adaine would giggle and resume petting her, prompting a louder purr. Adaine resolved to make time for this as much as she could. Strongtower might not be the best place for it, though. While neither the scratching nor the purring was as intense as earlier, Sklonda had to ask them to tone it down a few times.
When the movie ended, the party began to split up and go home. Gilear woke Fig, gently shaking her shoulder. The tiefling then kicked Kristen in the leg until she got up, and all three departed down the hall. Fabian called a Lyft for him and Gorgug. Riz muttered goodnight and slumped off to take a shower per his mother's insistence. Machaira was now fully asleep in Adaine's embrace, muzzle tucked under the wizard's left arm. Adaine had emerged from the drowsing state that passed for elven sleep and was trying to extend the moment for as long as possible.
"Hey, you should call your parents, kiddo," Sklonda murmured to her. "It's pretty late. Machaira can sleep on the couch tonight and take the bus to school with Riz tomorrow."
"I don't want to let go of her," Adaine complained quietly. She knew she was being unreasonable and petulant to a laughable degree, but the wizard was loath to ruin the moment. Sklonda gave her a knowing smirk that brought a blush to Adaine's face, though the elf wasn't sure why.
"I can see that," the goblin teased. "But you're going to have to let go at some point. And then it's all the more special when she comes back." Adaine's blush deepened. She tried to protest, but the diviner wasn't sure exactly what she was protesting or trying to say all. "You'll see Machaira at school tomorrow."
"I don't want to leave her alone tonight," Adaine said. "She's, it's been a hard night for her."
"It has," Sklonda agreed. "It sounds like she's had a lot of hard nights. And she'll have more to come. She'll need you and your friends, even if she doesn't know or admit it yet. But you can't hold her hand forever. I think you know that." Adaine pursed her lips. A sullen voice in her head said that Sklonda was blowing the situation out of proportion, but Adaine got the point. She looked down at Machaira, mouth pulling into a sad frown.
"I really don't want to go back to my parents," she admitted quietly. "I like being with her." Adaine pursed her lips and started to stand, carefully easing out from under the tabaxi. Sklonda grabbed her shoulder. The detective's expression had changed to understanding, layered with something sad and almost motherly. The goblin sighed.
"You can stay here with Machaira for the night," Sklonda relented. "Call your parents and tell them where you'll be. I'll get some blankets from the closet." Sklonda walked away. Adaine blinked, digesting the sudden change in plan, and whipped out her crystal. She called her mom's cell, knowing that Elianwyn wouldn't answer at this time of night.
"Mom, I'm spending the night at Riz's place," she said to the answering machine. "Bye." As Adaine hung up, Sklonda came back with a blanket. The older woman clearly didn't approve of Adaine's blasé message, but she didn't say anything about it.
"I'm guessing that you'll only be needing one blanket," the detective assumed. Adaine blushed but nodded. The wizard stood and tried to scoop Machaira into her arms. She had forgotten that this tiny tabaxi had a good twenty pounds of muscle on her and only succeeded in pushing her semi-upright. Machaira growled in complaint, uncurling and staring about tiredly.
"Hey, it's late," Adaine whispered, standing straight and trying to pretend that she hadn't just tried to pick up this much stronger girl. "Time for bed."
"I was sleeping," Machaira grumbled, rising to her feet.
"Sklonda said we could stay here for tonight," Adaine told her. Machaira flattened her ears, shuffling uncomfortably.
"Thank you, Mrs. Gukgak," she murmured.
"Yes, thank you," Adaine repeated with more feeling.
"Sure thing. Goodnight, girls." Sklonda bade, waving as she walked to her room.
"You can take the couch," Machaira told Adaine quietly.
"Well, I mean, we could, you know, maybe, share, if you were, okay with, would want that," Adaine stammered, suddenly finding it hard to meet Machaira's eyes. Machaira studied her shyly, shoulders drawn in. Her front four teeth peeked out to grip her lip.
"I, I would, if that's, sure, okay. Yes." Machaira replied in kind, red showing through the white on her cheeks. The rogue kicked off her boots and tucked them between the couch and the wall. Adaine hurried to follow suit with her own shoes and began to shake out the blanket. Machaira hesitantly lay down, pressing herself against the back of the couch.
"Um, you can take off your jacket, if you want," Adaine told her. "Not that you have to, I just, it doesn't look great to sleep in." Machaira shrank back against the couch a bit, staring up at Adaine. Her eyes glowed bright, blazing amber, the glints of harsh orange streetlights that slipped in between the blinds reflected into something beautiful. Like tiny suns, Adaine thought again.
"I… I have a lot of scars," Machaira whispered. "And I, I, I know you'll still – you'll still be my friend, but I'm not ready to show you yet." Her shoulders rolled inward, ears flattening as the tabaxi tucked her fangs under her collar. Adaine felt her heart go out for her friend. "But, if, if you want, I, I can, I'll take – "
"No," Adaine interrupted her. "That's okay. I want you to show me only when you're ready." So that's why Machaira never took off her jacket. Adaine wasn't surprised that the scout had image problems, but it made her angry. Machaira was one of the most remarkable people she'd ever met, but she was so terrified of rejection that she felt the need to hide even from Adaine. The wizard remembered how she had felt unwanted at home and wondered if Machaira felt that way even more strongly.
Adaine sat down next to the tabaxi and stroked her, palm caressing her cheek and head down her neck. Machaira leaned into the touch and gave Adaine a look of shame, wonder, and gratitude. She held out her arms toward Adaine, and a thrill of delight ran through the high elf. Adaine was not a cuddler by nature, but she made an exception with Machaira. Adaine crawled into Machaira's embrace, quiet joy taking root as the tabaxi pulled her close. Machaira shifted to lie at a slant, leaving most of the couch available to Adaine. The wizard leaned back to grab the blanket and covered them while the rogue pulled the solitary pillow into place. While Machaira took only the far edge of the pillow, Adaine chose to rest her head on the scout's shoulder and leave the pillow largely useless. Machaira chuckled and shifted the pillow over so she could have some herself. Her tail heaved against the weight of the blanket before managing to slither out from under them, curling over their waists.
The first fall chills had really set it, but the air conditioner directly above them was still set to summer weather. Sklonda's blanket was worn and thin. Despite this, Adaine was not the least bit cold. She basked in the warmth that radiated from Machaira, lulling her to sleep once again. The blanket didn't keep the cold out, but it did make the world around her feel smaller, restricted to just the two girls if only for the moment. Adaine felt safe in her arms just as she did during a panic attack. The high elf slowly petted Machaira, drawing faint, drowsy purrs from the tabaxi, who rubbed her back softly in return.
"Thank you," Machaira murmured, the remains of a purr in her voice more soothing than any lullaby.
"For what?" Adaine whispered, but her friend was asleep. Adaine gently stroked her mane. Gorthalax had said that you choose your family. As she snuggled closer to the tabaxi, Adaine knew she had made a good choice.