I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you'd think
And if I'm being honest
It might have been a nightmare

It felt like years had passed since Ben had came back but it wasn't. It's only been two months and yet it felt like forever. He's going on another business trip for a few weeks and as bad as it was, she was counting the days.

She had managed to lose the excess ten pounds and was back to her normal weight. Perhaps even more.

Rey can't wait until he leaves. She dreaded having sex with the three of them. She hated being watched. It was strange how there was a time that she actually enjoyed it but now she can't recall what made her like it. She's repulsed every time Ben touches her. She used to love being touched by the both of them but with the time away, she was able to tell the difference. She doesn't feel loved when Ben touches her, she feels so much of an object. She hates seeing Kylo's face twist up every time he sees her being fucked by Ben. He hates it as much as she did.

She's been having a hard time having quality time with Ben. She does everything she can to avoid it, make any excuse - but sometimes she can't gather the strength to say no. If she had to have sex with Ben, she preferred it with Kylo instead of it alone. Kylo was a mediator, he monitored things that happened. He make sure that things don't go too far. She cries every time after having sex with just Ben. She doesn't know why she cries. She knew that Ben loved her but when they were alone it felt so terrifying. As if she was being picked apart.

Kylo comforts her each time.

When it's just her and Kylo, it was different. It was intimate. Affectionate. All things that made her feel whole. But they had to be secretive whenever they had sex alone. If Ben found out again like last time, he would get jealous and demand more personal time with her.

And that's something that Rey and Kylo don't want.

"I don't think you're happy," Kylo lets the words come out.

She looked up at him. "I try to talk about it but every time I do -

"He gaslights you," he mumbled.

They went silent.

"He's very manipulative," Rey was the first to break the silence. She kept her voice low for Ben was asleep in his room. "I don't know why I didn't see this before." Ben was charismatic. Ben looked frail. Ben looked sweet.

"You're not the first girlfriend to feel this way," he frowned. He sat beside her and rested his head on her chest.

"Tell me about them," she requested. She lets her fingers run through his curls. "What happened to your past relationships?"

"There's not much to say, we grew apart."

"Or did they grow apart from Ben?"

He pulled away and stared at her face.

"Did you always want this? To be in a poly relationship?"

"I didn't" - he paused as he saw her face crease.

"What made you change your mind?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't think I'm happy," she breathed, trying desperately to keep her voice even. "I don't think I have for a while."

"I think I am either." He's looking at her helplessly. It made her heart break. He only looks at her like that whenever he was unable to protect her from Ben and all he could do was watch. He cupped her face then and stroked her cheek.

Rey sighed in relief from his touch. "I want to be with you Kylo, just you." She watched as his face brighten in surprise. "Just you," she emphasized, nodding.

"You have no idea how long I wished you for you to say that," he rasped. "Never thought it would happen -

"Do you want that? To just be you and me? No one else?"

He nodded. Doesn't even allow himself time to think. "He's not going to be happy."

Her heart skipped a beat. There was something disturbing the way he said it. He sounded so pained. "I know," she swallowed hard. "I have feeling this isn't the first time a girlfriend wanted to be a duo instead of a trio."

"I didn't want to hurt my brother but I'm not afraid anymore. I love you Rey. I want to give you a normal relationship. I want to be able to have children with you. I want to be able to love you fully instead of fractions. I only want you."

She kissed him then.

He holds on to her, crushes his body to his. He was holding on to her for life, as if it was going to be his last time. "You have me," she whispered, deepening their kiss. "You always had me."

"He's not going to take it well but it'll be worth it for I get to be with you. Just you."