Hmm, yes, the one you've all been waiting for. Can you all believe that I've managed to hold of ACTUAL sex for 15 chapters? Hahaha you all totally deserve this after the last one too!

This was honestly one of my favs to write, not because of the first scene (because, well, I liked that too) but dumb!Archie is my spirit animal. I will only accept himbo!Archie and nothing else.

Thank you to my reviewers: Boris Yeltsin, thosechosenpirates, Larienlee, BelleLodge, Guest, Kuroe Shizen, RDJ-Babe, Sophiecambellbower, Guest, and winterbabyalways!

Guest: On the edge of your seat is exactly where I want ya! And yes, we all stan Ronnie last chapter doing what needed to be done!

Guest: Glad you're enjoying it!

Jughead pulled his hand away as though she'd burned him. He looked ready to argue, ready to scream, ready to snarl. Instead, he just licked his lips, eyes narrowed.

"Fine."

Betty motioned for the couch. He sat, obediently. Staring at her.

At that moment, she could see every emotion in his expression. She could see herself through his eyes and what he must have thought the entire past month and a half. She felt his pain when he'd spoken to her so clearly, so precisely that she wondered if she was a certifiable fool for not seeing it. Every time he looked at her, he thought she was dating someone else. The same sorry feelings that had been bubbling inside of her was exactly what he'd been feeling this entire time.

It was awful.

She had so many things to say. She wished she'd thought this out more. She wished that she'd taken the time to write a plan, a list of points to begin with.

She could have attacked this as though a research paper. She could have had points to her big arguments that backed it up so that it all made sense. She could examine it like she did with any big journal lead.

'Just in, two college kids complete idiots? Proof in the text.'

As she stood there, mouth agape and Jughead just waiting, his expression tightly shuttered, she had nothing to say. Or, more accurately, her entire body was fighting to say everything at once, so her throat was clogged with nothing at all.

"I'm not dating Sweet Pea."

That seemed like a good place to begin.

"I know."

"I mean, I don't know where you got the idea, but I'm not-," Whatever Jughead had just said was not what she'd been expecting. Which was the cause of her rambling, because she'd been expecting a shocked 'what' or a 'but I thought-'. Instead...huh?

"What?"

"I said that I know."

Betty licked her lips, scrutinizing him, "Back up a second."

"There isn't much to back up to. We've barely begun," Jughead replied in a low, near angry voice.

"I'm just...but didn't you-,"

"No."

"Oh."

Betty sat on the barstool. She crossed her arms, unsure where to go next.

"I mean, I guess I did think that," Jughead said after a long second, when it seemed clear that Betty wasn't going to let him leave yet, "Back...when you two were in here. I saw you two hug. Heard you say something like you'll always care for him. So yeah, I guess I did think so, for a bit."

"The door." The moment when Sweet Pea thought he'd heard something flashed back with painful clarity, "That was you."

"And, cool, you know, whatever," Jughead waved a hand, "This was always just an in-between thing, I guess. Us. I was your...experiment."

The words sounded bitter when he said it. Betty couldn't breathe properly.

"But you said you don't anymore?"

"I didn't want to hate Sweet Pea. I went out to hang out with him. Let it go. Saw him kissing another girl in an Instagram post the day that we went to the hot tub and pool room. Called him up, furious. I mean, how dare he do that to you?"

"Oh, god," Betty remembered the post. She hadn't thought anything of it, other than that she was glad that Sweet Pea had found someone else. He seemed happy.

"And he told me that you two were never dating…" Jughead pressed his lips together, "So, I dunno, at the pool...I thought…" He was very silent, "But then you shoved me away. My mistake."

His bitterness was acidic enough to dissolve Betty's heart. She laughed, painfully, because no wonder he was so hurt around her.

"I wanted to. I thought you were dating Sabrina. I thought we were about to make a mistake. That you were going to cheat on her."

"You think I'd be the type of guy to cheat on anyone?" Jughead snapped his head up, furious.

"No! But I mean, I almost had sex with you and I never thought I'd be the type to fuck someone else's guy!" Betty threw up her hands, "We were near drunk! I thought I was an awful person!"

"I'm not with Sabrina. Why would you even think that?" Jughead demanded, staring at Betty like she was crazy.

"Because she was so into you! It was so freaking obvious. And she was over here all the time, Jug! You spent so much free time with her that I guess I just assumed…"

"We were working on a school project together," Jughead said, voice tight and staring right at Betty, "It was a video assignment and it took like an entire month. It took a lot of planning but I wasn't...I couldn't…" his chest shook, "I'm stupid, Betty. Unless you wave a neon light around I probably wouldn't notice someone's into me. I only found out recently that she was interested at all and I just don't like her back."

Betty pressed her forehead against the wall, letting out a low moan, "So we've been acting like absolute idiots for like two months under the assumption that we were both dating other people?"

Jughead gave the first real laugh she'd heard in a long time, "Fuck, you're right."

Betty inhaled sharply, "Jughead...I have a crush on you."

Jughead was deadly silent. She turned, a soft smile on her face. She'd tried the whole 'subtle' thing before and it had gone horribly. She was somewhat assured he liked her back, but even if somehow Veronica got it all wrong...she couldn't lie anymore.

"I have this big, stupid crush on you and god, I probably have forever. I don't know what I want but I know that I just can't...not…" She flailed helplessly, waiting for him to respond.

She winced, "That enough neon?"

"You are such an enigma, Betty," Jughead groaned, pulling her close to him, "And apparently blind too."

"What do you mean?"

"For however long you think you've had this crush, dammit, I've probably had one longer. You were in all my wet dreams long before we moved in, and then after that, it just made it worse." He admitted in a low, breathy tone, "But it's not just your body. It's your mind, it's your awful jokes, it's your determination. You have a big fat crush on me? I have a bigger one on you."

"Jug," Betty breathed, feeling close to crying or laughing hysterically, or both.

They moved at the same time. Jughead grasped Betty's face at the same time she dug her fingers into his hair.

His kisses were bruising and full of wet need. Betty moaned as he pressed her against the wall, putting enough pressure that it was almost suffocating.

She bit his lip, enough to redden it. Her fingers dug into his back as she tried to get him closer. She needed skin-to-skin contact. This wasn't enough. It wasn't-

Jughead broke away, breathing hard. He looked over at the blinking clock on the microwave.

"Shit. I have...a...midterm in an hour…" He said, "Should we continue this-,"

"Forsythe Jones the Third," Betty said in a firm, commandeering voice, "I swear to god that you do not take me right here, I'm going to move out."

Jughead looked back at her, his face alight.

"Hard and fast?" He asked, fingers tracing under her chin. Betty could only manage a shaky nod, a little overwhelmed with how much she wanted him, how quickly she felt like jelly in his fingers.

"We'll have other times for softer...but Jughead, please," Betty whimpered. She could feel him getting hard, so she knew that getting it up wouldn't be a problem.

"In my back pocket," Jughead said as his fingers worked to undo her jeans, "Condom. Wallet."

Betty gave a jerky nod again, fingers fumbling around the back of the denim for the pocket. She grabbed his wallet, found the condom and threw his wallet somewhere on the couch. She put the wrapper in between her teeth, grasping Jughead's shirt and frantically pulling it over his head. His beanie came off too. Betty started to reach for it.

"Leave it, it's fine," Jughead assured, shoving her jeans down her legs as he crept his fingers under her shirt, "Take it off."

Betty took off her bra and underwear in one sweep. The only thing left was her underwear. Her fingers were starting to unbutton his pants but were momentarily distracted as his lips closed around one of her nipples and his fingers dove between her legs. She squeaked, almost dropping the condom, as he collected the wetness already gathering and pumped inside of her.

"You hardly need anything, huh?" He teased, "Ready for me right here, against the wall of the apartment?"

"Like you aren't as well," Betty mumbled, managing to regain her senses enough to take off his jeans all the way. Her hand closed around him and she felt his whole body shudder. She pumped twice but found him just as ready as she was.

"I've dreamed about this…" Betty let slip, wincing at her own admission.

"Mhh? Exactly like this?"

Betty nodded, her face flushed bright red. Some girls might have dreamed about rose petals and champagne, Betty sometimes woke up remembering sore thighs and a certain roughness that always escaped her in the morning.

"Don't be embarrassed," Jughead said, "The times I've gotten off to and these memories of the coupons are just indecent."

He took the condom from her lips, tearing it off.

Betty felt her heart thump rapidly and sweat bead on her forehead in anxious anticipation. She couldn't believe that they were here, actually here, about to have sex for the first time.

Jughead lifted one of her legs so that it sat on the armrest of their couch.

"You might need to help me in," He said, kissing the side of her lips.

"I could turn around if that would be easier," Betty offered.

"Heck no," Jughead said, two fingers still inside of her, "I want to see your face when you come from me fucking you."

His words sent a shiver up her body.

"I suppose, same," She said after a second, trying to regain some ground here. Jughead was wooing her to a puddle and they hadn't done anything yet!

She helped ease Jughead inside of her. As he bottomed out, and she tilted her hips to accommodate him, he kissed her deeply and meaningfully, letting her adjust to it for a second.

She waited a moment, letting herself bask in his first moment of complete connection, fingers tracing circles on his back.

"Jughead, you can move."

"Thank you," He breathed, his voice strangled. He moved out and then snapped his hips back against hers.

From that first moment, it was just as he promised. Hard and fast. His fingernails lifted her legs to help the angle while Betty wrapped her arms around his neck, focusing on moving her hips to match his thrusts.

It was as satisfying as she imagined it would be, perhaps more so, because reality is often far better than what she could imagine in her mind using her fingers as a placeholder. One of Jughead's hands came up around the back of her head, holding it steady so that she wasn't bashed into the wall as he moved. Her back, however, would be scratched up by the brittle texture, but that was an injury she was entirely willing to take, as she felt her shirt ride up.

Betty grasped out for the counter-top, the cool stone under her hands juxtaposed to the fire she felt inside of her as her fingers curled and curled with each satisfying connection of their hips.

"Holy hell," Jughead wheezed, "I'm not...are you…"

"Yes, please," Betty said, resting her forehead on his as he slowed for a pause, "It's fine, it's fine."

Jughead pulled her close, off the wall, as he came into the condom. She could feel her heart fluttering against his, her own release having occurred sometime before, the friction and a sense of almost runner's high making her brain fuzzy were enough to finish her. Especially, she considered, after this month of being depressed and whatever the female equivalent of blue-balling was.

Jughead let her go. Betty placed her feet back on the ground, swaying slightly.

Jughead was pulling his pants back up, checking the time and frowning in displeasure.

"The exact thing that I do not want to do right now," He bemoaned, "is go take this test. I'm going to be hard the entire time."

Betty, searching for some of her clothing articles, paused, grinning with a hint of mischievousness in her eyes. Good.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Jughead asked, pausing her as she went to put her underwear on.

"Uhm, nothing specific." Betty blinked, "Maybe some History, but no plans outside."

"Then," Jughead murmured, "I fully expect you waiting for me naked upon my return," He said with a roguish smile.

"Oh?" Betty put her hands on her hips, "You expect it, huh, buddy?"

"Yes," Jughead said, winking, "I can make it worth both of our time."

"We'll see," Betty said, trying to regain some air of aloofness as Jughead pulled his boots on. He didn't say anything more, but right before he left, he grabbed Betty's arm. She wasn't sure what he was doing, until he tugged her against him and kissed her.

"I'll see you soon, Betts."

Then, he closed the door.

Betty tried to pretend for a good half-an-hour that she wasn't going to be waiting for him naked. However, the thrill of it and the anticipation of the rest of the night was far too great.

When she heard his key opening the lock, she was reading on her bed without a stitch on her.

She invited him to her bed that night, seeing no good reason to be uncomfortable on the futon. Jughead took off his hat, coat, and jacket...and then continued right down to his pants, shirt, and socks.

"See how you make me feel, god," He murmured, crawling up beside her. She could feel him already ready go to without needing to touch him a single time, "I might have just failed that exam, knowing full well what was waiting for me here," he said.

"Jughead!" Betty protested. As incredible as this was, she was not about to encourage the failing of classes.

"Shh...that's something to worry about tomorrow," Jughead whispered, leaning down to kiss her softly.

They spent hours there.

If their first time had been about the quickness and the need for release, this was something much different. They kissed and touched and explored each other for a good forty-five minutes before they managed to get to sex again. Jughead made sure she came- twice- before they had even started.

When he finally entered her, it was slow and soft. He worked hard to make it good for both of them, kissing the top of her head and linking their hands together as he moved. Betty's breath hitched and her legs pulled him closer and by god, she saw stars this time.

As they finally lay mostly satisfied under her covers, Jughead's fingers playing with a strand of her hair, she turned.

"So...what does this make us now?"

"I wouldn't be opposed to dating," Jughead said, kissing her shoulder blades, "If you wouldn't."

"No, yeah, I…" Betty nodded, "I like the idea of that." She paused again, "The coupons?"

"Well," Jughead said, now a little more focused on the question, "I mean, there are the average ones...have sex. I don't think that's going to be an issue for us. There's no reason we can't keep using them for some of the more exotic things though, hmm?" He pointed out, "There's a few I'm dying to try out with you." He admitted.

"We can't very well have your birthday present go to waste," Betty agreed, more excited than anything else that they wouldn't be throwing away the book. Jughead laughed.

"No, we shouldn't."

XXxxXX

Dragging herself from Jughead's arms to see Veronica felt like a sort of lose-lose situation. If she never showed up, Veronica's final tease would be true. If she did, it was time she in her mind wished she could still be naked with him, and thus that brought them back to the same issue.

Damn Veronica and her all-knowing smirk.

She wanted all the details, of course, which she insisted upon hearing over the most expensive brunch food New York could offer.

"So you're dating. I don't see anything on Facebook about it." Veronica huffed after all was said and done.

"Well, one, you'd be pissed if you found out before I told you," Betty said, shoving strawberries in her mouth, "And two, Jug's Facebook is pretty useless anyway. He's never on it." She gave a little shrug, "Plus I think we just like this...us. I don't need to announce it to the whole world."

"But it's fun to do that! Oh! I could have my friend, the one I was going to suggest to take your nudes, take a couple photos. Announce it to the world the way all the A-list Celebrities do." She said, her eyes gleaming, "You know when Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber need someone to look over theirs, who do you think they called? Moi! I convinced them out of releasing some fairly atrocious ones. There was this photo, where I swear to go-,"

"That's nice, V," Betty said, laughing uneasily, "But, uhm, normal people don't really do that."

"Darling, who wants to be normal?" Veronica said with a wave of her hand.

"Do you honestly think you could convince Jughead to take couple of photos?" Betty asked, snorting at the thought.

"He'd do it for you," Veronica said, popping a blueberry in her mouth, "But I digress. I am happy for you two."

She suddenly sat completely straight, "You do know what this means now, though?" Veronica asked.

"Er...I couldn't even begin to guess."

"We can go on double dates now!"

"We basically do that already!" Betty pointed out, "A group of me, you, Arch and Jug isn't exactly new territory."

"Yes, but now we're paired. It's different, B," Veronica insisted, "You've got my wheels turning. We are going to have a fantastic double date in the future, mark my words."

Betty reached for her mimosa, allowing Veronica her dramatics, "Consider it marked."

XXxxX

It took about a week for Veronica to set up this 'fantastic, date to end all double dates' as she'd so dubbed it. Jughead heard about it from Betty and relented.

"Only because we know her," He grumped, "And because I have a feeling she'd knock down the door and drag me out if I didn't agree."

"She wouldn't knock down the door," Betty said comfortingly, patting his shoulder, "She'd pay off the landlady to open it for her."

They were going to a fantastic new restaurant opening that Veronica had gotten them specific tickets for and then going to watch a mutual friend of theirs, Josie McCoy at her big opening night. Betty and Veronica were dressed in some expensive cocktail dresses (Betty had refused to even look at the tag as Veronica bought them, for she feared she might barf if she knew how much they cost), and the boys were at least convinced out of jeans. Jughead pulled out slacks and a button-down from someone in the depths of his closet, surprising Betty and about knocking-over Veronica, who entirely believed he owned nothing but ratty shirts and baggy jeans. Archie was of course dressed well, by Veronica.

"To be honest," Jughead said as they waited for the limo outside of their apartment, "Can I be a little disappointed? I was expecting a movie premiere or a triple date with some celebrity or like an invitation to the White House."

"Jug!" Betty slapped his arm, "If we were doing any of those things, V would have kidnapped you to dress you and I don't think you want that."

"I'm just saying. I was expecting a bit more," Jughead said, obviously trying to ruffle Betty's feathers as he wrapped his arm around her, kissing her temple.

In the week since they'd talked about making their relationship something more serious, it wasn't as though Betty and Jughead were hiding anything about it from anyone. They hadn't gone out of their way to tell people, but Jughead seemed pleased as punch to be able to kiss her cheek when they parted and Betty grabbed to hold his hand whenever they were walking. Point being, they weren't being subtle.

This is how, despite all the clues given, Betty was fairly astounded to realize sometime during their dinner that Archie had no idea they were dating, let alone on a certifiably real double-date.

It had begun innocently. Little ideas that maybe he didn't know.

Betty had asked Veronica not to tell him, knowing that he'd probably want it straight from his best friend's mouth. Though it hurt Veronica to not be able to gossip, she allowed it. Plus, she threw herself into planning this, and in general, was busy that week leading up to it.

She had thought Jughead would have said something, but now Betty wasn't sure.

It was his comments about 'four good friends all at dinner' that had just a hint of obliviousness, especially when they were so clearly paired up. It was that he tried to sit next to Jug at dinner, like he may normally, until Veronica patted the seat next to hers. It was when Jughead, who had his hand on her thigh all through dinner, pulled her away for a quick make-out session in the back alley, close to having sex right there, and they came back that Archie seemed totally unaware of where they'd been, or that it had even been that they'd been gone at the same time. Veronica, who was halfway between exploding with excitement and sending Betty 'you dirty girl' texts with a wink, looked at Archie with utmost confusion when she too realized that he had not connected the dots.

Betty loved Archie. Out of all of her friends, he had the kindest and most pure soul out there. He would give you the shirt off his back if it would help you. Plus, his father was the epitome of a living saint; Fred was still texting all the kids often to check up on them. Archie was one of her favorite human beings, but gosh...he was really, really thick sometimes.

It became abundantly clear when Archie turned to Betty during dinner and asked, "So how's Sweet Pea doing?"

Jughead stiffened. His relationship with his former friend was better than before, but he still was a little caught off-guard to hear that name. As was Betty, obviously.

"Erm...good?"

"Oh, he coming down to visit you again soon?" Apparently, Sweet Pee and Archie had hit it off at the boxing ring. They weren't quite friends, but they were more than acquaintances.

"Probably not?" Betty squinted, "At least, not, uhm, soon."

"Long-distance relationships can be hard," Archie said comfortingly, as though he'd ever been in one, or knew anything about what was happening.

"Archibald," Veronica finally said, "Let's go pick another bottle of wine out, hmm?" She said, raising an eyebrow, sending Betty a confused look.

"Sure!" Archie said with a wide grin, "Be right back, guys!"

Betty turned to Jughead, who was set in a perpetual frown, his hand covering his mouth slightly in deep thought.

"Uhm...does Archie...not know?" Betty asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Apparently not," Jughead said.

"He still thinks I'm dating Sweet Pea?" Betty licked her lips, "But he knows you have a crush on me."

"I haven't poured my heart out to him. We're guys," Jughead said, "But yeah, duh, he knows."

"I don't think he does," Betty said meaningfully, despite seeing the tape where Jughead told him point-blank he had a crush on her (though, to be fair, Archie could assume he'd never followed up and 'crushing' was a whole step below 'dating'), would not have believed that Archie would have ever been informed previously, "You told him we're dating, right?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?" Betty said suspiciously, "Explicitly?"

"Well, you know us...we're dudes." Jughead waved a helpless hand, "I wasn't making a timeline of our night and handing it over to him or anything."

"Jughead," Betty said, caught between wild laughter and an incredulous pitch, "This is Archie we're talking about. You have to be almost overdramatically clear with him about anything. What did you tell him exactly?"

"I told him that things went well between me and you. That we talked it out and…" He was bright red, "I didn't want to get to X-rated with him! He doesn't need to know those things about you," He said.

"Does he even know about the coupons? About that, we've been having sex for six months pre-dating?"

"Uhhh…?" Jughead winced, thinking hard, "Well, maybe...I guess it hasn't...no?"

"Oh, dear lord." Betty shook her head, "We're going to blindside the poor dude."

"We haven't exactly been dancing around it! I'm sure Veronica knew something was up long before we told her!"

"Yeah, but that's Veronica," Betty stressed, "And this is Archie."

At this moment, Veronica and Archie returned to the table with a new bottle of wine.

Betty got two messages from Veronica.

V: Thought you two should let him know. He has no idea. Just confirmed.

V : My handsome, but oblivious, precious Archikins…

Betty tapped Jughead, showing him the message under the table. Jughead's eyebrows rose to his forehead just about, staring at his best friend with a sort of 'god, really' sort of expression.

Veronica went about pouring everyone's drinks.

"Jug," Archie said, pointing, "I ran into Sabrina today. Honestly, dude, she's still hot for you. You know I-,"

"Oh, man, pour him a full glass, Lodge," Jughead said, covering his face with his hand.

"Huh?" Archie asked.

"Coming right up," Veronica said, filling his glass far past the acceptable level of alcohol in one sitting.

"Jug, I know...I know! But hear this out-," Archie began again, totally ignoring all the signs around him.

"Dude, I'm...we're…" Jughead failed for a moment, grasping Betty's hand and pulling it onto the table.

Archie didn't even notice.

Jughead continued to try to find words, with Betty watching him flounder helplessly.

She decided it was like a bandaid.

"Archie," Betty said, cutting her boyfriend off. Jughead squeezed her hand, sending her the 'it's okay' motion to tell him, considering that for someone who wrote things beautifully for his life was having a very difficult time doing so currently.

"Yeah?" Archie asked, smile bright.

"Jughead and I have been fucking since October and we are now, currently, dating each other."

There was zero use beating around the bush with this. Veronica was hiding laughter behind coughs and Jughead had turned as red as the wine from the bottle.

Archie though, was silent.

It was like a computer booting up. Betty's grandparents didn't have a router or anything until late into the 2000s, so she was familiar with the dinosaur sounds of dial-up internet. Watching Archie process this now was reminding her of this. She could almost see that AOL loading screen behind his eyes and could hear his brain making the same pitched beeping noises that reminded her of her childhood. His brain was frantically trying to digest what she said, make that connection, put the two links together.

His eyes flickered between Betty and Jughead, to their enclasped fingers, then to Veronica, and then to his wine glass, as though that held the answers.

Betty counted down the moments to his absolute, unmistakable, understanding.

Five...four...three...two...one

She could practically see the moment that the Windows Welcome theme played and his brain opened to a recognizable stock photo of a blue sky and green rolling hills.

"Wait, what?!"

Wrote that computer metaphor. Realized the Gang was born in 2001/2002. Cue that blinking dude meme. Called sister, born in 2000, to see if she knew the sound of dial-up. Confirmed she did remember that. Metaphor safe. Spent the rest of the night feeling very old.

I also want to kinda make something clear, not to sound like super serious about it, but just so we're on the same page. Betty and Jughead have admitted they have a crush on each other, not that they're in love, because usually there is like a period between the two where you're not quite sure. I for sure think they're both falling in love with each other, but neither is quite there yet! Just highlighting that these two things are two separate things to admit and are not synonymous :)

Lastly, I posted on my tumblr (youngbloodlex22) a 'Spoilers Without Context' thingy two days ago and you all seemed to enjoy it? Should I keep doing that? Also, for anyone that saw that, do the spoilers make sense now? Were you able to glean anything from it? Just curious hehe!