Trigger Warning:
This is the chapter that contains a depiction of attempted rape. It's not very explicit and the rape is prevented at the last minute, but I totally get that it is triggering to read about something if you have a similar trauma. Personally, I can't handle scenes of domestic abuse, however mildly written. It just brings up old shit and makes me feel instinctively panicky.
So if you want to skip the chapter I will include a summary of what happened at the beginning of the next chapter - chapter 17.
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16 – BLACK COFFEE
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The Third Timeline
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I wake to the sound of Chrom murmuring something in his sleep and moving about restlessly. His expression is drawn tight in fear and there are tears on his cheeks. "Chrom, wake up," I whisper, but he is deeply asleep.
I put my hands on his shoulders and kiss his forehead. "Chrom."
He jerks awake with startled eyes, panting for breath.
"Sshhh, you're okay," I say.
He touches his face and feels the tears on his skin. "What-?"
"You were dreaming," I tell him.
He exhales a long breath and pulls me close. The others are still asleep so I put my arms around him and press my lips against his cheek. "What did you dream of?" I ask.
"I… I dreamed that you died."
"How did I die?"
He holds onto me tightly, hiding his face against my neck.
"Tell me. It was just a dream."
"You killed yourself," he says. "You… struck down that man, Validar, with some kind of strange magic. Then you took a knife-" He pauses, his voice catching, then manages to continue. "You cut your own throat."
"You don't usually remember your dreams. Did this one feel different?" I ask.
"It felt real. And I remember it perfectly. Too clearly. I wish I could forget it, the way you looked before you-"
"Was I myself?" I ask. "Or did I look different – shorter hair, maybe, like a man?"
"It was you. I'd swear it."
His words shake me to my core but I try to not let on any of my dread. I have seen Validar die in my memories, but it wasn't like that. Chrom had never dreamed of the past before. Perhaps it was the future, if such a thing were possible. It didn't fit with any of my memories of the past.
"It was just a dream," I repeat. "It doesn't mean anything."
"You believe that your dreams mean something. You think they are real."
"Chrom," I say, pulling back to look him steadily in the eyes. "I swear to you: I have never and will never do that. I couldn't give up like that. I couldn't leave you. There is no future where that happens."
"You were ready to throw your life away in Ferox when you thought it necessary. Even when I ended up fighting in the arena, you were a second away from getting yourself killed on my behalf. Don't tell me you wouldn't do that. I know you don't value your life enough to promise that absolutely."
Without hesitating, I lie to him. "I do and I will never hurt you like that. I promise. I won't be reckless anymore. I love you too much."
Chrom seems to believe me. But nonetheless he falls quiet with a moody expression and doesn't go back to sleep.
I get to my feet and stoke the dead fire back to life. Finding Henry in the dim light, I put my hand on his shoulder and shake him awake.
His eyes snap open and I feel a pulse knock me back. I hit the ground and flinch in pain, pulling myself back to my feet and returning over to him.
"Good morning to you too," I grumble.
He doesn't answer and I notice his arms wrapped tightly around himself as if in fear.
"Are you alright?" I ask.
"Don't touch me again," he says in a shaky voice. "Ask Jasper or Lilly to wake me."
I nod. "I won't. I'm sorry, Henry. Truly."
He gets to his feet and walks over to Lilly. Jasper is perched on her back and Henry asks the crow something in a low voice, then looks over at me and says, "Jasper found the way out. Wake the others."
Once we break free of the mines and are out in the early morning light, we all breathe easier. Basilio lets us stop for a moment to enjoy the fresh air and bolster our tense spirits.
Henry searches around in the forest, no doubt asking more coyotes for news, and half an hour he returns.
"The guards have left this area to patrol the border crossings. We will have safe passage for the next few leagues. There is a village twenty miles from here where we obtain news of Gangrel's whereabouts."
"I'd rather not wander into a town with my Feroxi face and accent," Basilio says. "You and Gray will go. We will camp in hiding outside the village. Meet back with us at dawn."
"If Gangrel is still holed up in his castle we will reach him by nightfall tomorrow," Henry says.
"Thank you," Chrom says, offering him a smile. "Your knowledge is of great help to us."
For the first time today, Henry's dark expression lightens a bit. "And here I thought you brought me along for my pretty face."
Olivia giggles quietly behind me.
"Henry," I ask, "is there a way for you to track down Gangrel like you tracked me?"
"Do any of you have a vial of his blood?" Henry asks. "Or a close friendship with a local wolf?"
"I don't think so," I say.
"Pity."
I wonder how he tracked me until I realize that my blood must have been all over the carnage of my fight with Aversa. It makes me wonder then if he went after me to find out who murdered Aversa instead of his claim to find the Exalt. Perhaps it was curiosity more than nobility.
But Henry's words do not fail us and by evening we arrive at the outskirts of a farming village. Basilio, Chrom and the others make camp in the shelter of the woods and Henry and I venture into the village.
"Jasper, you are our eyes in the sky," he says and the crow takes off into the air, circling the village slowly.
Henry and I ride up to the local tavern and tie our horses outside. I'm not sure what I expect from the establishment, but when we enter and take seats at the bar, I am struck with the warmth of the place and its homeliness. "Ale?" the barkeep asks us.
Henry shakes his head. "Coffee for now, black as you have it."
The man pours a dark liquid into two mugs. He sets them on a woodstove to heat, then places them in front of us. Henry sets two coins on the counter and nods.
I take a long drink of the coffee and feel it burn its way down my throat. It is thick, stale and strong as hell. I close my eyes and smile blissfully.
Henry sips his and glances around the inn.
"Where you travelers from?" the barkeep asks.
"Cooper," Henry says.
"What brings you through here?"
"Our sister's wedding. She marrying some twat in Joston."
"Fucking Joston. I'm sorry for your sister. Miserable place right on the border like that. Her beau, he's not Ylissean, is he?"
"If he is she'll end up a widow before the wedding is over," Henry smiles.
The man laughs. "Good lad. Thank the gods we have the snowpeaks between us and them, no?" He reaches out his hand to shake Henry's and says, "Name's Rald."
Henry doesn't take the man's hand but he raises his mug in a salute. "Well met, Rald. I'm Shenry and this is Jay."
I almost snort at Henry's complete lack of effort in creating our aliases. I cover it with a cough and finish my cup of coffee.
"Your sister likes my coffee," the man comments.
"It's good shit," I say.
He laughs and refills the mug, winking at me. "On the house, lassie."
"What's the word in these parts?" Henry asks Rald. "You would think that in the three days we've been on the road not much would have transpired but these days the world tips closer to hell every hour."
"That it does," Rald agrees. "We had some soldiers arrive today to keep an eye on the mountain border. They say that the war goes well but how else would you expect it to, no? Gangrel's a mad son of a dog but he keeps his word, I'll give him that. He'll do the job and do it thoroughly."
Henry downs the rest of his coffee in one gulp. "That he will. My old man speaks only salt against Gangrel, though, says he won't leave his castle and join the army. I told him, 'What good would a dead king be?'"
Rald nods. "I for one am glad he is staying in Dolhr. Too much for him to do once we clean up this Ylissean mess." He turns to me and asks, "What do you think? Surely my coffee has woken up you up enough to speak your piece."
"I'm sorry. My mind has been rather dizzy lately, what with this baby taking up all my energy. My family says I should focus on growing my baby boy and leave the politics to the menfolk." I put my hand on my stomach and smile wearily. "I'm sure whatever my brother says I'll agree with."
Henry shifts uncomfortably in his seat beside me.
Rald looks at me and shakes his head. "It's not going to be a boy if you're hardly showing like that, lassie. When my wife had our first boy she looked like she was going to give birth to a horse."
"A girl would be fine," I say. "As long as it isn't a horse."
Rald laughs and walks away to attend to another customer.
Henry shoots me a glare. "Idiot," he murmurs.
"Why don't you buy me some food? I have to eat for two now if you want to have a strong, healthy nephew," I tell him and walk over to sit beside the fireplace.
Once we've stayed long enough that our exit won't cause suspicion, we ask Rald for directions to the nearest inn and take a room for the night. Jasper knocks his beak against the window once we have settled in and Henry lets him in.
Henry doesn't speak to me the whole night, probably still angry about the fact I stole most of his supper to nurture my imaginary baby.
He sleeps on the floor, propped against the wall in a sitting position and I sleep for several hours on the bed. Jasper wakes me an hour before dawn with a peck on my cheek and I go out to the stable to ready our horses while Henry settles our tab with the innkeeper.
The stable is dimly lit by a single lantern but I see several men within, saddling up their horses. They whistle at me as I walk in and I ignore them.
"You're an uncommonly pretty thing for a shithole place like this," one of the men says to me, walking up to door of the stall my horse is in. I continue to ignore him but it takes great self-control. I know that the alarm that burning down a stable in a quiet village would cause would be our downfall.
Three of his friends join him and I see that they are Gangrel's soldiers, the ones Rald mentioned last night.
"How much to get under a poor farmer's daughter's skirts," the bold one asks. "A copper?"
Against my better judgment, I glare at him. "I'm worth much more than a copper, you inbred son of a bitch."
The man calls me a string of insults, some of which I'd never even heard before, and I berate myself for my hasty reaction. I escalated this situation and now I need to get the hell out of here before I have to kill someone.
I turn to get up into the saddle of my horse but suddenly I feel hands grab my wrists in a viselike grip. I try to wrench free so I can burn down the motherfucker but he wraps a heavy leather belt around my hands and shoves me down to my knees, pushing my face painfully against the wall of the horse stall.
My horse stamps its feet and rears up to kick the man but I hear a sword being drawn and the sound of steel cutting flesh. My horse neighs sharply then stumbles down to the ground.
I feel the soldier's body press against mine, breath hot on my neck. My magic flares inside me, dark and fire alike. I try to speak a spell but the man grips his hand tightly over my mouth. Panic spikes through my body as I realize that without my voice and my hands and no weapon of any kind I am helpless.
My head swims with fear and revulsion as well as anger at myself for turning my back, for assuming that no man would be so unhesitatingly violent with so little provocation.
The man's hips shove against me and I struggle, blood dripping into my eyes as my face scrapes against the rough wall. With his free hand, he rips my underwear down and I give a muffled scream, biting down hard on his hand. He doesn't loosen his hand from my mouth but he curses and I feel his hand between my thighs, grabbing at me roughly.
I push at the flames within me, willing it to burn through my skin and set the man on fire.
"Well aren't you all warm and ready," he laughs.
I hear a cry of surprise and the man falls back. I whirl around and see him convulse on the ground and then his body goes rigid with death. I look up and see Henry standing in the door of the stall, the bodies of the other soldiers lying in pools of blood at his feet.
Tears of relief mix with the blood in my eyes and a sob catches in my throat. Henry kneels down beside me and I wipe the blood and tears from my face and see him staring at me. "Gray…"
"I'm alright," I say, my whole body trembling. "I'm unhurt."
Henry looks over to see my horse shuddering on the ground, bleeding out onto the straw. A choked noise escapes his lips and he bends over the horse, examining the wound. His eyes close and he puts his hands on the horse's head. His body seizes up as if in pain and he clenches his jaw. The horse's body stills and it nickers softly. He holds the horse until it breathes its last breath then he collapses.
Shakily, he gets to his feet and pulls a knife from his boot. With a savage look in his eyes, he cuts the dead man's throat and steps on the man's neck, grinding his face into the ground.
"Henry, he's dead."
Henry snarls and slashes several more deep cuts into the body, splattering blood across us. "Maybe he'll feel it in the afterlife," he says.
"We need to go," I tell him. "Now. Before someone sees us."
He wipes the blood from his knife on the dead man's shirt and returns the blade to its sheath in his boot then walks away to saddle Lilly. I pull my clothes back on and follow him, climbing up onto Lilly's back. I lean forward and stroke her neck, her silky coat and gentle whinny soothing my spirit.
Henry swings up into the saddle behind me and we ride out of the town under the cover of the predawn darkness and mist.
"Thank you," I say.
He doesn't reply for some time then he asks, "How did they do that to you? You could have killed all of them with one spell."
"They got the drop on me and bound my hands. I couldn't cast anything. I… I have never felt helpless like that before."
"It will never happen to you again," he says. "I'll teach you how to use your dark magic. Next time you'll make men like that die slowly and beg for death."
After a while, he adds, "I'm sorry about your horse. He died peacefully. He didn't feel any pain."
"Henry, he was-"
"He didn't feel pain," he says fiercely.
I remember Henry's body seizing up as he held the horse's head in his hands and ask, "Did you cast a spell on him? Can you use healing magic?"
"No," he says. "If I could heal him, he would have lived. But I can reverse a drain spell."
"You pulled the pain into your body, didn't you?"
"It's not much, but it means they don't suffer," he answers. "I'll teach you how to do it. If anything happens to Lilly or Jasper and I'm not there, promise me you'll use the spell."
"I promise."