a/n: Hi! This took me three weeks and idk why! Cos I wrote most of it in one day! Thanks to all of you for supporting this fic that should have been done like, a year ago. It was such a pain, but also, I don't regret writing it. I'm happy it's finally done. So please enjoy this epilogue! Reviews are much appreciated. đź’›

warning: implied death of young children.

Ch 13 || Epilogue (Leave the Light on for Me)

[2 March 2004; 4:13pm]

Takeru's exhausted.

After yesterday, he feels as though he could sleep for weeks. Fatigue clings to him like wet clothes, and it makes it hard to focus on the task he and Daisuke have been given: classroom chores.

He doesn't mind doing them, not really. They did skip school without any kind of reasonable excuse. And what's he supposed to say to get them out of trouble, anyway? "Oh, sorry, I couldn't make it to school because I was busy fighting monsters. Won't happen again. Probably."

Takeru smiles humorlessly to himself. Right. Like that will help at all.

"What's so funny?" Daisuke asks, not sounding rude, but curious. He's got a stack of textbooks in his hands, peering at Takeru over the top.

"Nothing, really. Just imagine if we told Sensei why we didn't come to school yesterday."

"Oh," Daisuke says faintly. Then he's setting the textbooks on the desk closest to him and laughs. "Like they would believe us."

"I know," Takeru says, shaking his head. He's still smiling. "The curse of being a Chosen Child."

"Hey, I mean… not that yesterday was much fun. You scared us all. But I really didn't want to go to school."

That makes Takeru laugh, probably hard enough that he looks and sounds insane. He's spent most of the day trapped inside his head, weighed down with exhaustion, and Daisuke's just so lively. It's refreshing.

"I didn't want to go, either," he admits truthfully, when his laughter finally dies down so he can finish what he's doing. "Nii-san kept telling me to go home, but I couldn't."

"Your bro gave you the option to stay home without consequence and you said no?" Daisuke actually looks offended upon hearing this. He walks to the other side of the room where a bookshelf stands, presumably so he can put the textbooks where they belong. "No way."

Takeru rolls his eyes good-naturedly. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Well, we've only got to this for the week. And we're almost done now."

"At least Hikari thought ahead," Takeru says. "She went to the nurse's office and told them she was going home sick."

"It's not like you gave me time to make up excuses, Takeru."

He says it teasingly, but the words still make Takeru's smile falter. Daisuke's right. They'd ran to the school, went inside, and he'd ran right back out without much of an explanation. He bolted without hesitation, and Daisuke, being Daisuke, chose only to follow. And happened after that brings them to the present.

He winces, and hurries to hide it, but the shift in Daisuke's expression tells him he saw it. Takeru says, "Thank you. For everything. I'm sorry I got you in trouble."

"Are you kidding?" Daisuke says, eyes popping wide. "I'm just glad you're still here. You're my friend!"

His heart squeezes and thumps and for a moment, he can only sputter. Warmth pools in his stomach before he finally manages to smile, and says, "Thanks, Daisuke."

Daisuke flashes a cheeky grin and gives him a thumbs-up. Then looks around, nods to himself, and says, "We finished everything, I think. Let's get out of here."

"You're right. We finished everything on the list," Takeru says thoughtfully, pointing to the chalkboard. Although he's been in school long enough to have these chores memorized, it's nice that there's a list to reflect on so they don't get in trouble for forgetting something. "Maybe the next few days will go by fast and it'll be the weekend before we know it."

"And we can sleep."

"I am so looking forward to that," Takeru says as they leave the room.

"Yeah, I bet. I'm surprised you even showed up to school, man. You look beat."

Takeru falls quiet upon hearing that. He slept for hours in the digital world, basking in the feeling of being safe, in the knowledge that the Shadows were gone and would no longer hurt any other children. And then, when they returned home, he stayed with Yamato overnight and slept until his father came in to wake both of them.

Maybe it's because he slept very little over the weekend. Maybe it's the aftermath of being hit by Angemon's attack. Maybe it's because the Shadows were trying to change him, draining him of his energy pulse by pulse, inch by inch. Whatever the reason, he still feels like he hasn't slept at all, and wants nothing more than to sleep the week away.

He supposes he'd rather be exhausted than in pain. The relief from his headaches is mind-numbing. He's so glad that it's gone, that he can breathe without fearing for his life.

"Ugh, you know what I just realized?" Daisuke moans suddenly, pulling at his hair.

Takeru slows his pace, blinking in confusion. "What?"

"My mom grounded me," he says. "Which I think is totally unfair! It's not like I skip school all the time."

Takeru frowns. "Can… can you tell her the truth? At least some version of it? Tell her there was trouble in the digital world or something."

It's a little rich coming from him, because while he and Yamato were able to tell their father a similar story, he isn't sure what to tell his mom. His dad has always been more welcoming of the idea that his children are partnered with creatures from another world. His mom is more wary, and maybe that's why he's a little afraid of going home by himself.

His dad had talked her out grounding Takeru somehow. He wasn't awake for that conversation. But he's more afraid of the heartbreak written in his mother's eyes, because after his 'disappearing act' on Friday, he knows that lying to her is causing her pain. He doesn't even know if she's still suspicious of him.

It's something he'll deal with eventually. He can't hide at his brother's house forever.

"I guess I could," Daisuke says finally with a shrug. "I doubt she'd take me seriously, even if Chibomon was here to vouch for me. And if she does believe me, well… I dunno, I just don't see the point in worrying her. But I'm not the kind of kid that stays out of trouble, so she might just think I'm making up excuses."

"I'm really sorry," Takeru repeats, looking down at his feet as they walk.

"What? No, dude, I'm not blaming you! I'd do it again, I swear," Daisuke tells him. "I'm just saying… the aftermath sucks, you know?"

"Yeah," Takeru says. "It kinda does."

"But like you said, maybe the week will fly by! And then it'll be over."

Takeru quiets again, but a smile tugs at his lips. Much as he hates causing trouble for his friends, he's relieved to know he's not alone in this. He wouldn't blame any of the other Chosen for being mad at him for dragging them into this or making them skip school, but it's nice to know Daisuke isn't holding a grudge. Daisuke isn't the type of person to hold a grudge, anyway.

They make it to the front doors of the school, and Daisuke walks through them with two big strides like it's some symbol of victory. Then he's jogging down the steps, two at a time, and Takeru wonders where all his energy is coming from.

"Oi, Takeru," Daisuke says suddenly, stopping suddenly at the bottom of the steps.

Takeru just about smacks into him, but stops just in time. "What?"

"Your brother's here."

Takeru's head snaps up in the direction that Daisuke points, blinking in surprise when he sees that his friend is right—Yamato's leaning against a tree near the sidewalk. He hasn't noticed them yet. Seems too distracted with the flow of traffic in the city. But he's here all the same, and that makes Takeru smile.

Shadows aside, he does love spending time with his brother. He's happy to see him here.

"I'll see you later?" Daisuke says, more of a question than a statement.

"Sure," Takeru answers. "Thanks again."

"No prob, dude." He's already taking off in the other direction. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Takeru chuckles, and then sees that Daisuke's call has caught his brother's attention. Yamato looks up, and he pushes himself off the tree once he sees Takeru.

"Hey, kiddo," Yamato greets, ruffling his hair. "How was school?"

Takeru's smile twitches and falters again. Admits truthfully, "Exhausting. But I guess it gave me a distraction. And yours?"

"About the same." Yamato sighs. "Glad it's over."

"Me too."

They ease into a comfortable silence that stretches out for a few minutes. The sounds of the city—cars driving by; the wind whispering in the trees; and other citizens walking around with their friends, family, or by themselves—and then they head in a direction that's opposite of Takeru's apartment.

Not that Takeru minds. But he has to ask, "Should we tell Mom I'm going to your place again?"

Yamato shrugs. "I kind of already did."

"Oh. I see."

"Unless you'd rather go home? I can walk you home, if you want."

Their eyes meet, and there's something in Yamato's gaze that Takeru can't fully read. Something misty and strangely vulnerable, and it makes his heart constrict. Makes his stomach clench. Like he's pleading for something.

"No, it's ok," Takeru says, flashing a smile. "I don't mind."

Yamato returns the gesture, but it doesn't meet his eyes. He says, "Ok. There was… something I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

"Yeah?"

"It's about… yesterday."

Takeru had expected this. He almost can predict what Yamato's going to say next, and a whisper of anxiety flutters through him at the thought. He swallows it back and asks, "...what about yesterday?"

"I just… I have to know, Teek," he says. "What drove you to ask Angemon to kill you?"

Yep. There it is. Takeru swallows again, fighting the urge to stop walking. It's March, but it's still a little chilly, and even though he has a sweatshirt on, he wants to get to his brother's as fast as possible.

"Oh," he murmurs faintly. "That."

"Yeah," Yamato echoes. "That."

Takeru stays quiet for several moments, if only to gather his thoughts. Because the truth is, he didn't know if his plan would work. He was acting on instinct alone. And yet…

"I was… changing," he begins, uncertain. "I could feel these awful sensations. It was like… I can't even describe it. It was so uncomfortable. A… a yearning for something, and I… maybe that was what the Shadows meant when they said they were hungry."

Yamato's eyes are on him, searching. Searching. Takeru looks down at the cement, watching his feet with each step he makes, and knows that his brother is waiting for him to continue.

"And… and I could see something that I couldn't see before. They told me that I was going to be their strongest. I could…"

He stops. Doesn't want to say it. Because he's done a pretty good job at not thinking about it over the last twenty-four hours.

"What?" Yamato prompts in a whisper.

Takeru shoves his hands into his pockets, if only so his hands have a place to go. His heart is starting to beat faster. Faster.

"I could see… your energy, like it was a physical thing that I could touch. I could see the way your Shadow marks were feeding on it. It was… Nii-san, it was awful."

All of a sudden, he's shaking. He wants to blame the weather, but he can't. The image of those parasitic marks pulsing and feeding on his brother's life source was incredibly frightening, and thinking about it instills fear in him, like the Shadows have returned, like he isn't safe anymore. His skin crawls and he shudders. The sensation doesn't fade.

"Hey, hey, hey," Yamato murmurs gently, looping an arm around his shoulders. "It's ok now. We're both ok. I'm sorry that… that I reminded you of it."

Takeru's thankful for the added warmth of Yamato's arm, but he shakes his head. His brother deserves to know. He would want to know the reason why, if Yamato did what he did. He doesn't blame Yamato for asking.

"No," he says, voice noticeably weaker. Shakier. Repeats, out loud this time, "You deserve to know."

Yamato's quiet, but his arm remains wrapped around his shoulders as they walk. Takeru breathes in slowly. Exhales. Says, "They were all weaker than me. I could see their energy, too. It was like… I don't know, a little ball? The kids that you saw… Hibiki… and Ichirou… their strength was fading. Kind of like a flickering lightbulb. Keeping up the illusion of being children was only draining them more."

His hands ball into fists in his pockets.

"The one that pretended to be me was their real leader. It had more strength than the others. So I…. I thought about what Koushiro said… taking down their leader…"

He shudders again. He remembers vividly what it felt like, feeding on the energy of something else. The overwhelming power that followed. It was almost sickening, knowing that he was gaining strength from taking the life of something else. He was holding onto the last shred of humanity in him for dear life, and he'd been so close to losing completely. Thinking about it now makes him feel incredibly nauseous. His stomach squeezes. Squeezes.

He meant it when he said that school provided a decent distraction from his thoughts.

"Angemon's attacks are holy," Takeru says, releasing a slow breath. "I thought if I… got rid of the leader… and if Angemon could purify me… then they'd have nothing left. They didn't have a lot of strength to fight, anyway. The backlash of Angemon's attack would have wiped them out because they were so low on energy. It'd be like… an Perfect-level digimon taking out a bunch of Numemon."

He doesn't like the idea of senseless destruction, but the comparison does its job. Yamato nods slowly, like he's putting together the pieces in his head.

A part of him wishes Patamon had stayed here, just so he could hold him. So he could thank him for trusting him so blindly. But he knows that their partners need to regain their strength after such a tough battle, and the fastest way for them to do that is in the digital world.

"I see now," Yamato says finally, quietly. Then adds, "Takeru?"

"What?"

"Promise me you won't ever do something like that ever again," he pleads. "I almost lost you yesterday more times than I could count. You scared me so much."

"I'm sorry," Takeru says, guilt lacing his voice. "I won't do it again… I just… I wanted to save you..."

Yamato's grip on his shoulder tightens, and he takes in a deep breath. Then another. Takeru looks at him with concern, and his eyes widen as Yamato suddenly starts to shake with laughter.

"I... I wanted to save you," he breathes out, shaking his head as if in amusement. "Takeru, do you realize how important you are?"

Takeru stops walking then, gaping at his brother like he's said something in a language he doesn't understand. A hazy image of Yamato sobbing yesterday flits through his brain. He doesn't remember all of what happened after the blast, because he was so groggy, but he does remember Yamato not leaving his side.

"I'm sorry," Takeru repeats, brokenly this time. His throat feels extremely tight all of a sudden. "I'm sorry I worried you so much."

Yamato squeezes him gently. Murmurs in a strained voice, "I'm just glad you're safe, Teek. It's over now. You did what you had to do. Don't be sorry."

They stand like that for a little while, and Yamato's warmth shields him from the early spring wind-chill. Then Yamato's tugging softly on his arm, nudging him to get him walking again, and when Takeru glances up he sees Yamato's apartment complex at the end of the block.

Just how long have they been walking? He isn't sure. He doesn't even know what time it is. He was so caught up in remembering what went down yesterday that he hadn't been paying attention to where they were at.

"Let's get some food in you," Yamato tells him. "I'll make dinner when we get there, 'k?"

"...ok," Takeru agrees with a small nod, allowing Yamato to guide him the rest of the way.

It doesn't take them long to reach Yamato's apartment building, and by the time they make it to the stairs, fatigue is hitting Takeru full-force. It's just like yesterday, when they found a place that acted as shelter, and they were both walking up the stairs with little to no energy…

"Hey, kiddo," Yamato says as they reach the top. "Don't pass out on me yet. You gotta eat first."

He laughs, mostly to himself, before saying, "I… can't figure out why I'm so tired. You'd think yesterday and last night would have been enough."

Yamato releases him to fish his apartment key out of his pocket so he can unlock the door. "You took out a whole race of monsters… that's gotta take a lot out of you. I'm even a little tired."

The whole… race…

Takeru watches, abruptly frozen, as Yamato enters the apartment, suddenly hit with the realization that the Shadows are gone. The Shadows, who lured in small children with the power of illusion, promising friendship and not following through on it. The Shadows, who mercilessly kidnapped and murdered hundreds of innocents. The Shadows, who—

"Takeru?"

Yamato's looking at him now, examining his face. Worry is etched into his expression like a tattoo.

"Do you think… I could use Dad's computer?" he asks, eyes widening as he speaks.

"Um… sure," Yamato says, sounding confused. "What's wrong?"

Takeru moves swiftly, sliding out of his shoes with the grace of a young child, fueled only by the sudden urge to find an answer to the question now burning at the forefront of his mind. Yamato calls for him again as he bolts into his father's bedroom and flicks on the light. Barely pays any heed to the sound of Yamato shutting the apartment door. Footsteps confirm that his brother is following him.

He jams his finger against the power button of the monitor and doesn't really hear Yamato ask what he's doing. His leg bounces repeatedly as he waits, waits, waits for the computer to boot up.

It only takes a minute or two, but it feels like an aching eternity.

"Takeru," Yamato repeats, "you're scaring me. Please tell me what's going on."

"I just… want to see something," he answers distractedly, opening the search engine as soon as the computer is done loading.

"What do you mean by 'something'?"

Takeru doesn't reply.

He starts with their names.

Enomoto Hibiki. Kawasaki Ichirou.

Behind him, Yamato's breath catches. Takeru scrolls. Scrolls. No webpage links jump out at him, and his heart drops. Maybe he needs more keywords.

Disappearance. Missing. Family. Abduction. The words bring in very little results, and yet he still tries. He checks their names again. Again. He's desperate to find something, anything. But there's nothing. Everything he finds isn't related to the children in any way, shape, or form. When he's clicking the fourth tab to search deeper—to find some inconspicuous article, some kind of hint that could turn into a lead—Yamato reaches forward, placing a hand on his, forcing it to be still.

"Nii-san—"

"Takeru, no, you have to stop." He slowly guides Takeru's hands away from the mouse and keyboard. "Please."

"But—"

"How did you know their surnames?" he asks suddenly. "I… I never told anyone."

That makes Takeru go still. He swallows, finally submitting, and leans back in his dad's office chair, exhaling tremulously. "I… I heard them while they were talking to you. And… and then I remembered… when we were kids…"

Yamato's eyes widen as he trails off, and Takeru looks away. His eyes find the computer screen again, feeling rage build steadily in his chest.

"Takeru…"

"I thought that, since they were all gone… maybe there was a chance that those children would have been remembered." He swallows a second time. "A child disappearing would have some news coverage, right? Maybe it's just been a long time. Do you remember what kind of clothes they were wearing? Fashion has changed over the years, hasn't it? It might give us a time frame of when they lived—or maybe if I could find like, old newspapers or something—"

"Teek," Yamato says forlornly. Gently. "Stop."

He swerves the office chair, kneeling in front of it and placing a finger underneath Takeru's chin so their eyes meet. Tears make his brother's form blurry, but he doesn't blink them away. When they spill over his cheeks, Yamato wipes them away.

"I don't think killing the Shadows reverses the memory spell," he murmurs very softly, tenderly. "I think it was different for us. What's done is done."

Takeru sniffs. "So nobody will remember those poor children…"

"No, they won't," Yamato says. "But you've prevented any more kids from suffering, Takeru. No more kids will go missing because of them. Nobody will be hunted. They can't hurt anyone else, and it's because of what you did. So please don't blame yourself. What happened to them before is not your fault. Ok?"

Takeru sniffs again, throat feeling tight. Yamato's gaze is unwavering, waiting patiently for him to respond, and slowly, eventually, finally, Takeru nods.

"O-ok…"

Yamato pulls him close. Squeezes him reassuringly, pressing his cheek into Takeru's hair. The roles have been reversed—this time it's Takeru sobbing, and Yamato's comforting him. And he holds him until the computer puts itself to sleep, until Takeru's tears dry on his cheeks, until he stops shaking. Then, when he finally pulls away, he says, "What do you want for supper?"

The change of subject makes Takeru giggle, and he's not sure why. He blinks swollen eyes, throat scratchy from crying, and says, "I don't know. Whatever you want to cook."

Yamato helps him up from his chair, then turns to move the mouse to wake up the computer. It hums and he shuts it down without even trying to log in to close the pages.

"How about something rich in nutrients? You didn't each much yesterday."

"Alright," he says quietly. "Thank you, Nii-san."

Yamato pats his back slowly, affectionately. "You're welcome, buddy."

They make their way to the kitchen, and Takeru sits at the table as Yamato opens the fridge to look for the proper ingredients for whatever he decides to make. Takeru blinks as he watches him, still exhausted. All hints of adrenaline from earlier are now gone, and his crying spell certainly doesn't help.

"Nii-san?" he says groggily.

"Hmm?"

"Can… can I take a nap, or something? Is that ok?" He rubs an eye. "I'll wake up to eat… I'm just…"

Tired, he wants to finish, but a yawn steals the rest of his sentence. Yamato closes the fridge and looks at him in concern.

"Yeah, you can take my bed if you want," he says, with a frown. "Here, I'll…"

He trails off, moving to the table to help him up once more, and guides him vigilantly to his bedroom. Flicks on the light, helping him to the bed, and any other time Takeru would have been embarrassed, but now he's too exhausted to care. He feels like he hasn't slept in days.

"You warm enough?" Yamato asks when Takeru's bundled up underneath the blankets.

"Mm-hmm."

"Good," he says, with a quick nod. "I'll leave the door open, ok? And I'll wake you when supper's ready."

Takeru hums again, and he hears rather than sees shut off the light, and it's something insignificant, but for some reason that makes his eyes pop back open. "Nii-san… wait."

Yamato turns. "Yeah?"

"Can you…" He hesitates, because it seems so silly. But with all that he's experienced in the past few weeks… he can't help it. "...can you leave the light on, please?"

Yamato doesn't ask why. Doesn't laugh. Instead, he agrees, and flicks the lightswitch one last time. Then, softly: "Do you remember when we were kids, Teek?"

Takeru nods slowly. Sleepily.

"And Mom had this… nightlight," Yamato continues, voice quiet and nostalgic. "I don't know if she still has it. But she'd use it a lot…" He says something else, but Takeru doesn't quite catch it. He dips in and out of slumber like a person coming up for air after being underwater. "—do you remember that?"

Takeru hums, eyes fluttering.

Yamato sighs very softly. Takeru almost doesn't hear it. Then he feels his brother's hand on his head.

"I'll wake you up in a bit," he promises.

Takeru's asleep again before Yamato leaves the room.