Replies to reviews:

Blondie20000: Heartbreaking indeed. I am glad you figured out what I was referring to, and I know it was dark. I am glad you understand Juls a bit better now. The little red riding hood, but not the Disney version, that's for sure. The demon might or might not be revealed later, not sure yet. I am glad you like the little cute awkwardness they shared. Thanks for the review.

Ncsupnatfan: Sad history doesn't really do justice to what was done to her, but yes, it was a bit dark and sad. I can tell you, no help will arrive just yet, nor will they find a way out of there. It should be interesting when you see what I decided to do with that whole situation. Thank you for the review.

Secretwrittenword: Yes, a very horrific glance into Julia's past, but hey, everyone feels for her now, and they hated her a while back. Sam is still struggling. If he was alone, he would have given up a while back. It is the fact that he has someone who needs his protection now that keeps him going. Dean would normally go to no extent to save his brother, but he is getting to weak and slow, years of abuse are finally catching up. He might end up needing to be saved as well. Thanks for the amazing review.

Summer: Too soon, Summer. Too soon. LOL. Thanks for the review.

A/N: So basically no one caught my early season reference that was kinda relevant to Sarah and Dean. But that is ok. I know I am too subtle with my little clues sometimes.

WARNING: Depictions of torture and suicidal thoughts.

Chapter 15: Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

Dean barely managed to draw in a small breath before he was submerged again, invisible force pullig him down under, far from the water surface. Sometimes he would let it drag him down, only for a few seconds, only enough to allow him to summon more strenght to fight it and to resurface again.

And that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was that it was pitch black out there, nothing in sight, no hope, no nothing. Just an empty void of darkness, stipped of all the colors of the world and of all the sounds except for Dean's panicked gasps for air and the sturing of the water around him.

But Dean wouldn't stop fighting. No, each time he was pulled down, each time he would tug himself away from the force and the would resurface, taking in all the air he could as his lungs burned. Each time he would fight to stay above, calling out to his brother that was never there.

Dean couldn't really blame him, not on every occasion. But bottom line... Sam hasn't saved him. He hasn't been there for him, not like Dean was there for his little brother. Sam never got him out of Hell, Sam never looked for him when Dean was in Purgatory and Sam never saved him from the drowning. Oh, no, scratch that. Sam did save him from living his dream of owning a bar and having an awesome partner like Pamela. And even then, Dean had to do most of the work.

But Dean couldn't complain. He was his brother's keeper, he would do anything for the kid. He was his protector and he wasn't meant to be save by him... Still, it hurt, it hurt like a sonofabitch that everytime Dean called out his brother's name, Sam just wasn't there...

"Saaaam!" Dean tried again, his voice echoing through the vastness of nothing.

"Saaaam!" Dean tried again, his voice gurgling with the water slowly filling his lungs.

"Sammy, please!?" Dean tried once more, the silence that responded mocked him as he was once again dragged down.

"Saaaam!"

"Casss!"

"Caaaas, please!"

"Somebody! Anybody!"

"Help me, please!"

"Dad!"

"Dad, please!"

"Bobby, Bobby, help me!"

"Anybooooody?!"

"Please!"

"Mom!"

"Mooom!

"Mommy?!"

"Somebody please help me!"

"PLEASE!"

Dean didn't know how long it has been, nor how did he have the strength to keep fighting it anymore. Sam was out there, he was lost, and Dean knew it was up to him to find him and save him. So he fought back, fought back with everything he had for what seemed like forever. Well, not forever. Maybe thirty years.

The more he fought, normally, the less strength he had to keep fighting, less motivation. He can't help Sam. Not when he can't even help himself. Not when he is so weak and useless that he can't even fight off a couple of vampires. Not when he can't even protect a single civilian for being chained up and forced to watch him getting beat up.

Dean didn't even notice when the water covering his pale face became just a tad salty from the unseen tears that streaked down his face. Not only was he a disappointment to the whole hunting community, and most likely to his father too, but he also pulled in an innocent into this dangerous world and she could have gotten hurt, she could have wound up dead, and it would be on him.

He truly was nothing.

"Sam… Sammy…" Dean called out, his voice a lot less hopeful.

"Please…" He called out his voice breaking with a sob.

"Somebody… Anybody…" He called out, his voice low, his tone flat.

"Please…" the plea came out as a broken whisper and Dean closed his tear-filled eyes, closed them heavily and took one last deep breath.

It was no use. No one would come. And he didn't have the strength to fight anymore. So he just let himself be pulled down, and down, his mind swimming around, intoxicated with a lack of oxygen. His thoughts became slow, the images like slow motion, dancing in front of his eyes.

Dean Winchester had many regrets.

And somehow, his biggest one was that Sarah would be left alone, and would be left to blame herself and always question if she could have done more. An image of her smiling back in that restaurant came to focus, and he clung onto it, as it slowly faded away along with his mind.

He remembers the fullness of her lips, the sway of her ponytail. Her piercing blue eyes that held all the light of the world. Her hand on his, as she reached out to him, but quickly pulled away, smiling sheepishly at him. Her hand on his, as she reached out to him, a spark igniting in her eyes, her whole face brightening up. Her hand on his. as she reached out to him, smiling and enlightening the darkness around him. Her hand on his, as she reached out to him, and pulled him up, pulled him above the surface of the water and holding him there, not letting him sink back down.

Dean gasped for air so hard, his lungs felt, not like on fire, but rather that they have been completely incinerated.

And there she was, smiling brightly at him, holding his hand while both just drifted in the water. Whatever was trying to pull him under was suddenly gone and with it Dean's fear as well. Despite the fact that he was still in the water, he felt safe. He felt warmth and suddenly, the darkness around them dissolved and Dean squinted his eyes at the bright light of the summer sun. He looked around while still trying to maintain his focus on Sarah and noticed they were now drifting in a peaceful ocean. The smell of sea hit him, it felt so real. Salty. There were sounds of the slow waves and seagulls somewhere above them, but Dean kept his gaze upon Sarah, staring at her with confusion and disbelief.

Was she really there, or was she a part of his dream?

Sarah just kept smiling brightly at him, her smile a bit mesmerizing, soft and gentle. The pony tail was still there, it's ends wet from the water. Her eyes were as bright as the ocean, gazing deep into his, erasing all the worry he had, all the pain and fear, dispersing it into thin air. Dean wished he could just get lost in those beautiful blue orbs, lulled and loved and safe.

Some disturbance in the water made the waves just a tad bit higher and made Dean drift just a tad bit closer to Sarah. Her eyes widened just a smidge, barely noticeable and it encouraged Dean to let the waves move him closer. He could hear her take in a breath and holding in, sweet anticipation in her eyes and he moved closer again. Their eyes were locked on the others until their lips touched, and there were actual butterflies around them that neither seemed to notice.

Dean felt that amazing blissful feeling of a first kiss, it seemed so real, just like her, just like her shoulder he set his hand on as the kiss deepened, tender and soft. Dean finally pulled away, from what he thought was too soon, but scared he was freaking Sarah out. Her lips curled into another warm smile and she actually blushed, making Dean return the smile, his worry swept away with the feeling of being in love.

And then there was some commotion to their right, some voices were heard and it was like the beach was approaching them. Dreams, go figure. There was a brunette lying on a sunbed, her head propped up, laughing. There was a tall guy with shaggy hair running around… No, wait, it was Sam. Sam was running around chasing… Two kids? No, not just two kids, two twins, two boys that looked a lot like him when he was a kid. Dean was confused, but smiled at the sight nonetheless, especially when he heard them giggle at Sam's tripping and burring his head in the sand like an ostrich. The more he watched them, the more he smiled at the sigh, enjoying what he was seeing.

Suddenly, there was a voice, a little girl's voice and Dean looked up and saw a beautiful little girl, with dirty blond hair and green eyes, his green eyes. And she was waving at him and calling out to him excitedly.

"Daddy! Daddy! Come look at the sand castle I made!" And Dean's heart filled with even more joy, and he sucked in a breath feeling his heart was about to explode from all the happiness, feeling more salty tears trace down his face. Not in his wildest dreams was this plausible. Not in a million years would they get to have that. And he shifted his confused gaze back at Sam and saw him smiling at him and everything just felt better.

Next to him, Sarah released Dean's hand, the hand he didn't even notice she was holding and rose up. They were up to their necks in water, but it was shallow and when Sarah stood up, the water got just above her knees. Dean looked up at her and saw her smile at him before she turned her gaze to her neon yellow bikini with a white outline and frowned at it a bit, like she didn't like it.

In an instant, it changed into a neon pink color, checkered with white and with a black outline and she nodded at it before she turned to look back at Dean.

"Much better." She said, and Dean didn't know if it was him who altered it or was it her, but he liked it on her a lot better too. The color was perfect compared to her pale tan, the style of it flattering her figure. He watched her walk away from him, and felt a tinny jolt when his eyes slid from her shoulders, over her waist and down to… The bottom part of the bikini. And Dean actually blushed, confused as why he was feeling so embarrassed all of a sudden.

Sarah reached the little girl and took her hand in hers as she turned to Dean again.

"Come daddy. Let's see what our little girl made." Sarah called out, and like he was under a spell, Dean rose to his feet, white trunks with red hearts dripping off the excess water and he started walking towards them, smiling all the way. Once he reached them, still gazing in Sarah's eyes, he took his daughter's other hand in his and replied:

"Let's go and have a look."

Sarah woke a bit startled and lifted her head off of Dean's bed. She was sitting in a chair, leaning forward and apparently fell asleep, her hands curled up under her hear in a makeshift pillow. She brought Dean in late last night, and ignored the looks her former co-workers were giving her, though she did have to admit, bringing in a John Doe and refusing to leave his side was strange, even by her standards. Still, them she could ignore. What she dreaded was facing DocZ, as she was sure he heard about this and was on his way. She really should try to call him again.

Sitting up straight in the uncomfortable chair, she stretched out a bit and yawned, covering her mouth as she did. She turned her gaze upon the hunter and was pleased to see some of his color returning, the paleness dissolving from the blood transfusion. Speaking of… Sarah slowly stood up, and as she circled the bed, she rubbed at her sore neck, trying to get the quirks out, feeling stiff. She reached the monitors and checked Dean's current state, quickly moving to check his IV. Satisfied all is as it should be, she glanced at the hunter again, focusing on his face, on his freckled nose and down to his pink lips that had a split, probably from one of the punches he received. She reached and took a crème from a nightstand; taking just a smidge with her ring finger, she gently applied it over the wound on Dean's mouth and then all over his slightly chipped lips. She felt a tiny tingle inside her chest and blushed at her own thoughts. Nevertheless, it took her a while before she could peel her eyes off those cute freckles.

When she finally did, she reached into her pocket for her phone, which miraculously survived her little adventure, only having a few spider webs over the screen and just a few pixels off, but was still working. She dialed the memorized number, finding it easier to type the numbers then to search the contact list, and waited for someone to pick up.

"This is Doctor Ezekiel Jones. I am afraid I cannot come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number and a message, I will return the call as soon as possible. Thank you." came Doc's stiff recorded message, and Sarah let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. This was better, easier. She would just leave a message for now, not having to deal with cut-off explanations over the phone. Postponing facing Doc for as long as she could was the perfect endgame here, and if she managed to wrap this up somehow before she even heard from him, that would be for the best. What's done is done. – were the words she used to end discussions, telling him she can't change what happened in the past and she won't dread over it.

"Hey, Dad. Cutting to the chase here – I found a guy that was hurt badly and I brought him to our hospital. Anyway, he needs help, I can feel it, so I am going to help him. I know this will probably piss you off, but I have to do this, I… I can't keep hiding, pretending like I am normal, you and me both know that I am far from it. I need to help him and I feel like this will help me learn more about myself and… Anyway, just wanted to let you know I am ok, even though I know you will… worry? Yeah, ok… Talk soon."

Well, that was… Informative. Sarah nodded like she was trying to convince herself it was good. She did lie a bit and conceal that vampires kidnapped her and that she was with a hunter, but she thought it would be too much for the Doc to accept.

"Hey there, girly!" a familiar voice came from the door of Dean's room and Sarah looked up, her face instantly drawing into a smile.

"Miranda!" Sarah exclaimed quietly and walked over to hug the short African-American nurse that had some charts in her hands and a smile that matched Sarah's. If Dean was awake, he would be damned if he wouldn't claim the nurse looked exactly like his friend Missouri Moseley, only shorter and friendlier.

"The whole floor is talking about you and this… Well, they weren't joking, girl, that boy is gorgeous. Whatcha do, hit him with a car?" Miranda asked smirking at her friend. She was one of the few that liked Sarah, but between the job and being a single mom to two kids, Miranda didn't have time to socialize much. But when she did find a few spare moments, Sarah was the first one she would call.

To the insinuation Sarah blushed and huffed a smile before replying "Noooo… I would never. Besides, you know I don't own a car."

"Um-hm." Miranda hummed like she didn't quite believe her. But she gave the girl a once over, knowing that if she indeed found him injured, Sarah would stay by his side until he woke. She was just that kind of a person.

"Ok, so maybe I didn't find him like this per say… - and she saw the intrigue in Miranda's eyes – Ok, I saw what happened to him. But it is complicated and we can't get the police involved and I… I just have to wait till he wakes up, he will know what to do…"

"Um-hm…' Miranda hummed, squinting her eyes at Sarah. "And it is 'legaly' complicated, or 'emotionally' complicated, cuz girl, you are blushing like crazy…"

Sarah bit her lip, trying to prevent the heat from rising to her cheeks once more, unsuccessfully, of course. But then she sighed. She knew it wasn't fair to drag Miranda into this, but she had to tell her just a bit. Partly to get a bit of that burden off her chest and partly to show her friend that this was serious.

"My kind of complicated." Sarah replied quietly and could see the smile fading off Miranda's face as it turned serious. Miranda just stood there, eyes wide just a bit, staring at Sarah. She knew about things that Sarah could do, but she never took part in it, never saw it, nor experience it. But deep down, Miranda knew Sarah was a good person and whatever this was, she was there to help someone out. So Miranda would back her friend up.

"What do you need, sugar?" She asked, her tone confident and determined, and it made Sarah smile, feeling the warmth of a friendship she rarely experienced.

"Oh, Mira, I couldn't possibly…"

"Don't give me that, girly! I know you! And I know if this is that serious that you're in trouble. So tell me what you need me to do, and leave the rest be!" Miranda scolded, threatening her with a clipboard with someone's chart and Sarah blinked in confusion before she rose her hands up in surrender mode.

"Ok, ok… Sheesh… Ok, look. When he wakes up, we might need to leave fast so… We could use a distraction then, but until that happens…" Sarah offered, looking back at Dean. Providing little distraction would be a piece of cake for Miranda, and it wouldn't put her in a tight spot with the head nurse. She couldn't possible ask for anything more.

Miranda nodded and looked at the patient in the bed. She came around the bed and checked his IV and progress, and then added.

"Until he wakes up, you are gonna go home and take a shower and change those clothes, you look like you were rollin' around in trash." Miranda said and when Sarah tried to protest, the nurse added: " He won't be up for another few hours, and it is almost time for my break. I will watch him while you go and fix yourself up. You don't want the sleeping beauty here to wake up and see his charming princess looking so worse for wear? Go on, Cinderella, go get cleaned up, your fairy-godmother will keep your prince safe."

Sarah actually laughed at that. Miranda could be goofie like that, and that is what the girl loved about her. She always managed to spark up her day when she was feeling down.

"I will just drop this paperwork and give the old grumpy Jerry his butt-shot and then I'll be back." Miranda added walking out of the room, leaving Sarah alone with an unconscious hunter once again.

Sarah sighed as she looked back at Dean again. She didn't want to leave him, but Miranda was right, she could use a shower and a change of clothes. In fact, Dean could use some clothes too, but Sarah feared to go to his motel room alone. Even though she drove Billy and Aisha into the ocean, she had a bad feeling that wasn't enough to kill them, and she wouldn't risk it. Doc's clothing was a bit uptight, but she was sure she could find something for Dean, thinking it was a good thing they were the same size.

An hour later, Sarah walked out of the hospital and took the Camaro she stole from the vamps, wanting to get back to Dean sooner rather than later. The moment she started the car, a bad feeling washed over her, and she pushed the gas pedal hard, like she was trying to get away from it. She glanced at the rear-view mirror as the hospital grew smaller and further away, and then refocused on the road ahead, completely missing the big black SUV that trailed her.