16 Ways to See Your Faults
The first thing Rien did was cut off her magic. At least she tried. Her mind had been open to the magic for so long that she was still getting images, even though she didn't want them. It was like blinking, so it was hard to make sense of everything, but she thought she could see her guildmates, each of them angry and disappointed. For the first time in many years, she didn't know what to do. Her magic was supposed to make things better, but instead, it had made everything worse. And as she stared down at Lucy's unconscious body, Rien had never felt worse in her life.
How had everything gone so wrong?
Except that was the one thing she did know. It was her own fault, really. She never should have pushed Natsu away the way she did. Even if she didn't know how to be his mate, she still could have been his friend. Instead, she got so caught up in her own feelings that she ignored how he might feel. In fact, she left him sitting outside the door for hours. What kind of person was she?
And now there was Lucy. In a moment of selfishness, she could have ruined Lucy's life. Additionally, instead of talking it out, she went ahead and erased her memorize.
She was disgusting.
Rien pulled herself off the floor, the movements feeling mechanical. She needed to focus on one task at a time. It wasn't much, but at the very least she could put Lucy in her bed instead of leaving her on the floor.
As she reached down to pick Lucy up, there was a golden flash and then Loke was next to her, swooping up Lucy's unconscious body. He wouldn't look at her as he began to walk up the stairs.
"I don't need to tell you how stupid that was, do I?"
"No," Rien answered, trailing after him awkwardly. She didn't doubt Loke's ability to care for Lucy, but her mind wouldn't settle until she saw the girl safe.
"We do stupid things to the people we love when we're hurt. I know that." Loke sighed. He opened the door to Lucy's apartment and began to cross the room, still speaking to Rien over his shoulder. "That doesn't make them okay, but it makes them forgivable."
"Are you mad?" The brunette asked timidly. Looking at her now, one wouldn't see an all-powerful mage of Fairy Tail. Instead, she looked like a small, frightened child.
"When it comes to hurting people to protect the ones we care about, I'm not one to judge." The spirit spoke seriously. "You were trying to protect Lucy and Laxus, but more than that you were trying to protect yourself."
"I was."
"She'll forgive you."
Rien perked at this, only to deflate again. "She shouldn't."
"But she will. Because that's our Lucy." Laxus sighed, staring fondly at the blonde who he'd tucked into bed. "She'll be mad at first, but she'll forgive you."
"I-I'm so sorry."
"I know."
" I need to go. I need to think and I- I can't be here."
"I'll let you go, but only if you make a promise to me." The lion spirit answered, finally looking the girl straight in the eyes. "Come back. Don't you dare run away from the people who care about you again. You got it?"
"I understand." She agreed, tears glistening in her eyes. Loke turned away which Rien took as her signal to go. The girl took one last look at Lucy, who looked so peaceful in her bed, and swore to herself that she would earn her forgiveness. Somehow.
An hour later, the blonde opened her eyes. She sat up quickly, not recalling how she'd gotten there. In fact, she couldn't even remember entering her apartment. She'd gone to talk to Rien and…?
"Glad to see you're awake," Loke spoke. He was sitting next to her in a chair. Gray and Gajeel were there too, one sitting at her kitchen table while the other leaned against the wall. Hadn't they gone to distract Natsu?
"What happened?"
"That's what we'd like to know." Gray huffed, standing up from his seat. He shot a hard glare at the spirit in the room. "But Loke won't tell us anything."
"It's not important."
"We find Bunny girl unconscious in her bed with Rien nowhere to be found and Natsu ready to tear up half of Magnolia looking for her, and you think that isn't important?" Gajeel huffed, nostrils flaring. "I have half a mind to make you talk."
"Hold on, what do you mean Rien is gone?!" Lucy asked, flying out of the bed. She was on her feet in an instant, ready to charge towards the door. "We have to find her!"
"Maybe retracing your steps will help. What did you two talk about?" Gray wondered. Lucy stared back in confusion.
"Conversation? What'd you mean? The last thing I remember we were on our way over here."
"Natsu told us he clearly left you at the door getting ready to talk to Rien. Loke went to the other side to open it for you." Gajeel said slowly. Lucy turned to her spirit, eyes wide.
"Loke?"
"It's funny how we always end up here, huh?" Rien spoke sadly, hand running across the scales on Wynn's face. They were back in a tangle of vines, blocking the outside world so Rien could concentrate on her thoughts. The Wyvern whined, wrapping his tail more tightly around the brunette in a show of comfort. Rien knew it pained him to see her like this, but he was the only one she trusted with everything. He was her greatest source of comfort in a world where she felt all alone.
"You know I love you, right?" She asked gently. Wynn bumped his nose against her head, eliciting a small giggle. The message was clear; "duh".
"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you. I think… I think I've ruined everything."
The Wyvern nuzzled against her again. No matter what happened, he would always be with her.
"I saw everything," Loke confessed, addressing the group as a whole. "But before I tell you what happened, I want you to understand why she did what she did. I know it isn't an excuse, but there is an immense amount of shame that comes with hurting people in order to protect those you care about. If I had her powers, I can't say with certainty I wouldn't have done the same."
"She erased Bunny girl's memory, didn't she?" Gajeel finished.
"Yes."
Lucy gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. She trusted Rien, had gone out of her way to talk to and comfort her and she had erased her memory? She hadn't even known the mage was capable of that kind of magic!
"Why?" The celestial mage demanded, tears pooling in her eyes. "Why would she do that?!"
"I can't tell you," Loke answered.
"Can't, or won't?" Grey demanded, his voice rising.
"Fine. I won't. Lucy, it won't hurt you to not know what Rei erased. In fact, it's better you don't. Keep in mind that she can see multiple outcomes of the future. Although she acted irrationally, she probably made the best decision she could have made."
"First you say there's no excuse, and now you're siding with her?!" The ice mage yelled, slamming his fist on the table. "What is wrong with you? She erased Lucy's memories. Nobody has the right to do that!"
"And Rei didn't have the right to reveal what she said either!" Loke yelled back. "You think this is easy?! I'm not her. I can't tell if what I'm doing is right, but I have to go with my gut. For the sake of Lucy's happiness, it has to stay secret. I would never do anything to harm her, you know that."
"Do I?"
"Stop!" The blonde cried, throwing herself in front of Loke. "Grey, I'm upset too, okay? They were my memories. But I trust Loke and… I do trust Rien. Even though I'm mad at her right now. She never would have done this if she thought it would hurt me. I know she wouldn't. This is already hard enough as it is. Please don't fight. I can't take that right now."
"And what do you think Gajeel?" Grey asked as he forced his posture to relax. He'd back down, for now.
"If Rei said what I think she might have said, then this is for the best. I do want to talk to her first though. To make sure. Maybe knock her head a little."
"Then you all should go to the guild," Loke suggested. His body began to fade as he returned to the spirit world. "I have a feeling Rei will be there soon."
Natsu barely took note of the forest around him as he followed Rien's scent. When they'd returned to the girls' building only for his mate to be gone and Lucy unconscious, he'd nearly lost it. His first thought was that Rien had rejected him and ran away. Then, after the panic, he worried about if Lucy was okay. Though once he'd confirmed she was, his attention was drawn back to the brunette girl who he couldn't seem to get off his mind. Where had she gone? Was she okay? He refused to be apart from her any longer; not until he had answers. And he'd been running after her ever since.
He didn't think he would be able to cope with her rejecting him. All his life he wondered who his mate would be; he thought about the lessons his father had given him on how to bond with his mate and how to care for her. Igneel had told him that she would be the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was right.
Before he'd found Rien, all he could focus on was the hole in his heart for his missing father. Fairy Tail was his new family and they helped ease the pain, and yet he was constantly aware of its presence. But the closer he got to Rien, the more that went away. She was not Igneel and he would never stop looking for him, but slowly his heart was making room for her too. When they were together, he never felt lonely. He felt safe and warm. Her presence was addicting. It was why he'd followed her and Laxus to the water park and why he continued to sleep in her bed. At the end of the day, he needed Rien. He didn't care if it was because she was his chosen mate, he wanted her. But more than that, he wanted her to want him too.
The dragon-slayer knew he had found her when he came upon a vine tent in the middle of the woods. It was just like the one Wynn had made the first time Rien had run from the guild, the day they realized how awful they'd treated her. Never again.
The tears he smelled said otherwise.
Natsu felt like his heart could tear in two. His mate was hurt. She was crying. He needed to hold her, to comfort her and fix whatever was wrong.
"Wynn." He spoke, placing a hand on one of the vines. "Can I come in?"
Slowly, the vine moved away, giving Natsu a vision of the scene inside. Wynn was wrapped tightly around Rien who had been tucked comfortably into his side. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, holding onto him while she cried.
"Natsu?" He heard Rien ask. He knelt down before her, holding out a hand.
Rien launched herself at him.
"Natsu, I'm so sorry," The brunette cried burying her face into his chest. Here she was, trying to apologize, and all she could think was that this was the first time she'd truly felt at peace all day.
"It's okay." He hushed, wrapping his arms around her body. He rocked them back and forth slowly while running a hand through her hair. "It's okay Rei. It'll be okay. Please don't cry."
"How can you comfort me after I hurt you? I ran away, I left you sitting outside a door for hours I-"
"Stop." He cut her off, covering her mouth with a hand. "Don't apologize. Not to me."
Rien pulled his hand away slowly, lacing her fingers through his own and squeezing lightly. "But I owe it to you the most."
"No matter what you do, I will always be here and I will always forgive you. To me, that's what it means to be your mate. You're always going to have me Rei, so rely on me more." It was the first time he'd referred to her as his mate aloud, and it made the brunette's heart swell. Rien sighed, resting her forehead against his own.
"I'm still so afraid. I don't know how to be your mate. I don't know if whoever made that decision made the right choice."
Natsu adjusted their bodies so that the probability mage was resting comfortably against his chest before he spoke. "Every dragon slayer is different, and so is the relationship between mated pairs. Even though the steps are the same, we can approach this however we want. Maybe to you, we don't seem like a good match, but I know that we are. Until you're ready and you feel like we're right for each other, there's no pressure to change anything. If you need more time to see that you're perfect for me, I'll give you more time. It's simple."
"But-"
"Nope. Simple." Natsu repeated, tweaking her nose. "So don't give up on me, okay?"
"I won't, I promise. But before we start making any changes, and I think we should make a few, there's something I need to tell you first."
"Anything. "
"Before you came here, I erased Lucy's memory because I told her something I shouldn't have. And that was wrong of me. Loke said that Lucy will forgive me, but I don't think I can forgive myself. Not yet. I don't know what to do about that, and I don't want to use my powers because that's what got us into this mess."
"Well, that's easy. The first thing to do is talk to Luce." Natsu answered without missing a beat. Rien blinked.
"You… aren't mad? I erased your best friend's memory without her consent!"
"Families make mistakes. Then they fix them. Lucy might be mad but you're her Nakama, so don't worry too much."
"...You're not even a little mad?"
"I'm not happy, but it already happened and it's not like we can change the past. We're a team now Rei. Like I said, rely on me more. We'll fix it together."
Although part of her still felt she needed to handle her problems on her own, Rien could admit there was an appeal to accepting Natsu's help. Not to mention she had just pushed him away for almost an entire day. And as she thought about their conversation, she realized that she wanted to give this a chance. Natsu was so confident that she was the right choice for him, and she longed to feel that confidence too. This right here was the first step. Letting Natsu help her and accepting that they were going to face this issue together. The brunette smiled and nodded.
"Okay."
Lucy sat on a barstool, eyes glued to the door.
"You know, staring isn't going to make them come back any faster." Gajeel sighed. He was seated next to her, chomping on a piece of metal from the extra scrap-pile he kept at the guild.
"Shush." Lucy waved him off.
"Che, suit yourself."
Another few minutes past. Luckily, most of the guild was off on jobs and the members who were present were drunk off their asses, so they weren't paying attention. The blonde didn't think she could handle people asking her questions she didn't have the answers to herself. Nothing would be resolved until she had a chance to talk to Rei.
The door opened.
The blonde's breath hitched.
It was just Nab.
Lucy wanted to throw up her hands with frustration.
However, someone caught the door before it closed. The blonde straightened up again. It felt like forever until the door opened all the way, revealing the two people who were making their way inside.
Natsu and Rien.
The brunette was standing slightly behind the dragon slayer as though she were trying to hide. Her attempts were futile. Her mate, not giving her the chance, began to drag the girl towards the bar. Lucy was already up meeting them halfway.
"You'll be fine," Natsu promised, squeezing Rien's hand. Lucy stared at Rien once they reached each other, not even saying hello to her best friend.
"You're an idiot," Lucy said, her voice breaking. She stepped forward, pulling Rien into a hug.
"I know."
"You shouldn't have erased my memories."
"I know."
"Or run away."
"Agreed."
"O-or rejected my help in the first place!"
"I'm sorry."
Lucy pulled back. Both of them were crying. The celestial mage wiped the water onto her sleeves before continuing. "I'm mad. I have every right to be mad. And I'm not ready to stop being mad yet. But sometimes, friends get mad at each other and they have to trust that at the end of the day, they still care about each other. I'm not going to abandon you Rei. Okay?"
"I realize that now. I do owe you an apology, Lucy. I am very sorry. But please, do not ask what I erased. I don't want to make things worse. I promise I'll tell you after you find out for yourself. I will."
"I trust you," Lucy confirmed, and it truly lifted a weight off Rien's heart. Everything was going to be okay. "But as I said, I'm still upset right now. So I'm going to go home, cool off and work on accepting everything that happened. I think you should do the same. We'll talk tomorrow."
"Tomorrow." Rien agreed. Just like that, the burdens of the day were taken care of. Natsu and Lucy had forgiven her, and she and Natsu were going to see if they could be mates after all. However, there was one more obstacle that Rien would have to face before she could truly move on, and it needed to happen tomorrow.
She needed to give her final decision to the guild. There was no point in waiting until the end of the six weeks had panned out. She knew what her decision was going to be. First, she'd talk with Natsu, and then she'd tell the guild.
Tomorrow.
A/N: Ayyyeeee. I wish I could tell you that you'll actually get to hear her answer tomorrow buuuuttt…. You probably won't. I just banged this chapter out of nowhere, so I apologize if it's not the best, but I needed to put something out there to keep the ball rolling. So yes, her decision is coming next chapter and no, that will not be the end of the story. There is still a lot of development to go and a lot of unanswered questions.
Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger. See you next time!