Chapter 13: Welcome to My Nightmare
"What's a cult?" Ava asks.
Crystal flushes a shade of red and bites her tongue. Her mind fills with horrible flashbacks that send chills up her spine and has tears forming in her eyes. She swallows heavily and tries to avoid the young girl's eyes. Her hands ball up into fists as she grips her knees, waiting for the memories to pass.
It can't be them... it can't be... She repeats in her head. The chances are so slim.
The person whom they rescued seemed to sense her discomfort with the question because he remains silent. He probably recognized the age of his fellow passengers and the idea of explaining what a cult was to a six and eight-year-old would no doubt scar them.
"Crystal, what's a cult?" the girl asks again. When she receives no answer, she turns to her brother. "Nicholas, what's a cult?"
"I don't know."
Crystal inhales sharply and grinds her teeth.
"It's... a group of people who do bad things..." she finally answers.
"Why do they do bad things?" Ava asks, pressing the issue forward.
"Because they want to," the guy says. "They do these things because they want to hurt others.
"That's bad," the littlest of the group points out.
"Very bad," he agrees.
"Did this cult hurt you?" she asks.
The guy nods.
"Well, I'm glad we saved you," she says with a smile.
"Me too," he answers, managing to smile despite the pain.
"Okay guys, time to call it a night," Crystal says, wanting to drop the entire issue.
She turns to the person they rescued. "Are you okay if they sleep next to you?"
"You just saved me from being zombie food and you're asking if I'm okay with sharing a bed," he says in disbelief. He's practically laughing to himself. "No, I don't mind."
"Okay," the eldest girl says earnestly, trying not to blush at the guy's smile.
Their newest survivor watches as Crystal gets the kids settled for the night. She tucks them in on one end of the mattress, covering them in a blanket. Nicholas and Ava say their prayers and then Crystal turns on a soothing song to help them fall asleep. The brother wraps his arm around his sister like he always did and pulls her close. He does his best not to move too much as to not hurt the other man.
Crystal decides to stick some pillows between the children and the wounded, not only to make them more comfortable but to create a sort of barrier between them.
Once the music has faded out and she's sure the kids are asleep, she turns to the new roommate. She helps him get comfortable, ignoring the heat flowing through her cheeks as she becomes too close to him. He continues to look at her face as if she's the most interesting person ever. She pushes some hair behind her ear as she helps elevate his broken ankle.
"Nice song choice," he says, trying to fill the awkward silence between them.
"Thanks."
"Bob Dylan is a classic,"
Crystal laughs to herself. "He was my mom's favourite artist."
There is another long silence as the two sit and listen to the sounds outside the van. The crickets are chirping, and the wind rustles the surrounding trees and bushes. The faintest snap of a twig caused Crystal to jump and for her hand to hover around the handgun on her belt. She listens for the sound of hissing but hears nothing else.
"I can't believe that you guys found me," the survivor finally says.
"I think we have Farley to thank for that," the girl says, she reaches over and scratches the sleeping dog behind the ears affectionately. The sleeping animal shifts his leg and his face almost appears to smile if he knows that he's being complimented.
"I'm surprised that you even have a dog… at this point most animals become…" he trails off and she merely nods, knowing exactly what he means. The let the thought hang over them for a few moments before moving on in their conversation.
"Yeah, if it were up to me, we would have left him behind, but the kids loved him so much and he's turned out to be especially helpful when searching for supplies. I hate to admit it, but he's definitely grown on me too."
"You don't seem like the type of person who leaves anyone behind…"
Crystal shuts her eyes tightly and bites her lip hard enough to bleed. "I used to be like that… but the world we live in now changes you, mostly for the worst."
"I know how that feels," he nods, deciding to drop the subject, knowing she doesn't want to talk about it further. "So… the kids, are they your siblings?"
"No, I found them barricaded in a house in a small town I was raiding. They'd been left there while their parents went out to get more food. I couldn't leave them to fend for themselves; they were injured at the time and so scared. When we had to run from the Walkers, Nicholas managed to step up to the plate and protect us. And while Ava has taken longer, she's begun pulling her weight too. They've become part of the team, despite my reservations at first."
"They're good kids," he smiles, watching in happiness as Ava cuddles with Nicholas. "But what about the parents?" The oldest girl in the group frowns intensely and swallows a lump in her throat. His smile immediately fades, and he can see the darkness and sadness in her face. "Oh…"
She lowers her voice. "Both of them are still hoping that they're alive out there, but at this point… there's a good chance they're not coming back…" She wipes a few tears from her eyes. "I just don't have the heart to tell them… it really was stupid of the parents to leave their children all alone in the first place, but I guess desperation makes us do stupid things... Of course, we really don't know what happened, and we did leave the location where the parents were coming back to, not by choice, but usually, things like these have a bad ending."
"You don't have to tell me," he nods.
"They're both pretty young to fully understand what has probably happened; I think Nick has the idea in the back of his mind, but Ava…" She lets the tears fall from her face again before wiping them away. "She still hopes that they'll come and get them, and they'll all live happily on a farm somewhere… I just don't have it in me to crush their hopes… it's what keeps them going and if they stop, so do I."
"You really love them, don't you?" he prompts.
She nods, accepting what she knew all along. She loved Ava and Nicholas dearly. They'd been through a lot together and she cares for the two as if they were her family. It had just been so long since she'd felt love or had a connection that it's taken her longer to accept this truth. "They… they remind me of my own brother and sister… so happy and full of hopes and dreams, despite everything that's going on around them... yeah, I do love them... a lot."
"It's nice to see that, you don't get a lot of love or hope these days."
"What's there to love?" Crystal agrees.
"I think you're pretty lucky to have them."
"And now you are too," she says, allowing her cheeks to turn pink.
"I guess I am pretty lucky. When I was out there in the woods, I figured I was screwed, and this then ended. I wished beyond everything that things had gone differently, and I wasn't left to die like the piece of shit I was."
"I don't you think that," she says honestly. "Every life is worth saving... the kids taught me that."
"Well that philosophy didn't fly with the lunatics I was with, they figured everyone was disposable and could be discarded."
Crystal swallows hard and merely nods, more memories coming back.
"Can you tell me what happened to you? Where are you from?"
"I'm originally from Chicago. When everything went to hell, me and a couple of friends tried to get out of the city. We tried to reach the reported 'safe space' that was set up by the army and for a while we were safe; until the camp was attacked and my friends and I ran... I lost my girlfriend and my best friend..."
Crystal can tell that this is painful for him to talk about. Tears well up under his swollen eyes and he pants in agony. She doesn't know how to comfort aside from hugs, which is what she did for the kids, but considering he's a stranger and badly injured, hugs were out of the question. Instead, she reaches over and gently places her hand over his. Their eyes meet and her heart flutters a bit, but she remains stone-faced. She sees the agony in his still swollen eyes as he shares his own version of hell. It had been so long since she'd met another survivor that she had forgotten that every single one of them had seen horrors that she probably can't even imagine. While she'd seen her fair share of loss and terror, he'd probably seen more.
"I'm so sorry," she says quietly.
She gives him time to collect himself. The lengthening silence was almost soothing to both them, reflecting on what they'd been through.
"You're the first survivor we've seen in a little while..." she finally says.
"Yeah, well you found a pretty f***ed up one."
"I know I'm being annoying, but please don't use words like that in front of the kids. It's okay for me because I'm pretty f***ed up too, but I don't want the kids to be repeating them. You're lucky they're asleep."
"You're right I'm sorry... where was I?"
"You'd lost your girlfriend and best friend in the attack."
"Right, so me and the two friends who lived, we just started walking. Stealing what we could, sleeping behind dumpsters and under bridges, wherever it was safe. Then one day we were found by this group of survivors. They saw how badly we needed help and they welcomed us in, helped us get back on our feet. The leader of the group made us feel safe and promised that they would protect us..." He bites his already bloodied lip firmly.
"When did you realize that you were in a cult?" Crystal asks.
"It took me a hell of a long time because we became so brainwashed and faithful to the leader, doing what he said without question; devoting our time to keeping everyone alive and protecting him and his 'family' which were mostly mistresses. It wasn't until I was asked to bring a mother and her child into the makeshift hospital at the basecamp that I realized what they were really doing behind the scenes."
The girl inhales sharply. Everything he was saying sounded extremely familiar to the point that she wants to get out of the van and vomit into the grass. She grinds her teeth and clenches her fists while fighting off more tears.
It can't be possible... it just can't be...
"I watched as a child was torn from his mother and then brutally injected with what I later learned was zombie blood."
Crystal cringes and her stomach turns violently again.
"I don't know what the hell he hoped the result would be... I think he was trying to find a way to reverse the transformation process or something, but I watched a child scream and cry out for his mother. I... had to hold her back as she was only able to watch her little boy become a monster... and the leader... he watched it with glee in his eyes and a goddamned smile on his smug face... He then tried injecting the kid with more stuff he called the 'serum' but when it didn't work, he had one of the protectors take the boy out to behind the hospital to be killed before the process could be completed... The mother attacked the leader out of pure rage, and she was also killed behind the hospital and left for the monsters to eat... The raw emotion I saw of a mother being forced to watch her child die made me realize who the real monsters were..."
The survivor is crying again, and all Crystal can do is squeeze his hand gently, but she herself if filled with raw emotion... anger and fear... fear she had attempted to run from a long time ago. She wipes away a few tears and just keeps her mouth shut.
"I tried to convince my friends that we should leave, but they reasoned that we had nowhere to go and we'd probably die sooner out there than if we stayed with the leader... It all came to a head one night when the leader decided to offer his pregnant mistress up for an experiment. His idea was that even if the mother became a zombie, there was still a chance to save the baby... That was the last straw for me. I called the leader and monster and even used my gun to threaten him."
"But I didn't stand a chance. My own friends turned against me and joined in the beating. After I spoke out against all this shit, they forced me into a car, drove me to a random spot, took me out into the woods, chained me to the tree and beat me senseless. By the end of it, I just wanted to die. I even yelled at them to kill me. It would be more merciful, but the leader insisted that I be kept alive to feel the full wrath of just punishment and he left me to be eaten by the monsters..."
There's a long silence between them as Crystal's heart pounds against her chest to the point that it feels as though the organ would break her ribcage. Tears are streaming down her face and she's bitten her lip so hard that she can taste blood.
He was there... he saw what was happening... they left him to die... are they still alive?
"Excuse me..." Crystal manages to say, she opens the van door and stumbles into a ditch before emptying the contents of her stomach.
"God..." she mumbles, unable to think straight. He saw what I did...
The girl leans down in the grass trembling and hardly able to keep her eyes open. She no longer had any strength left; her mind fills with the flashbacks...
"Oh my god..." she coughs, wanting to get rid of the horrible taste in her mouth.
…
It's a long time before she re-enters the van and shuts the door. The guy looks at her in concern, he immediately suspected that his girl knew something... could she have been part of this cult at one point too? Had she seen things as he had? Or was his story just so distressing that it made her sick? He had heard her become ill and he wanted to go and see if she was okay, but with the multitude of injuries, that was impossible. All he could do was pray that she'd get back in the van soon.
Once they are face to face again, they lock eyes. Her blue ones meet his brown ones. She feels some comfort when she meets his gaze, but she can see the pain in their too. A pain that both of them carried... guilt, anger, trauma, and sadness.
Finally, he speaks.
"Did... were you in that cult?"
Crystal inhales again, not wanting to become sick. She rushes over and opens a bottle of water. She flushes the horrible acidic taste from her mouth before handing one to him.
He gives a small nod of thanks before drinking the whole thing in less than a minute.
"Got to get yourself rehydrated," Crystal says softly. "It will help with the healing and we should regularly give you condensed milk to help your ankle heal."
"You sure know your stuff. You're a pretty skilled survivor."
"Well, it didn't happen overnight," is the answer.
There's another long silence.
"Are you going to answer my question?" he asks.
"What question?" the girl says, internally cursing that he wouldn't let this go.
"The one about if you were in the cult that I talked about."
Crystal swallows hard and looks at the floor of the van. She wishes that this was not happening, that they were talking about anything else, but he was just like Ava, wouldn't stop until he got a satisfying answer.
Finally, she just nods.
"I was..." she mutters in a barely audible voice.
"Well, I'm glad you got out," he manages to say, completely shocked that they'd both been through similar experiences in this horrible group.
"Me too... not many end up seeing what the group really does."
He just nods.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," he responds.
"Were… were there kids in the group?"
"Yeah, a few..."
"Did the leader have kids?"
"Yeah, two of them. Why?"
This allows some of the long built-up pressure in Crystal's stomach to finally be released, receiving the answers she had longed for almost a year. Confirmation that they were okay. However, despite this relief, emotions of regret surface again and tears continue to run down her face.
She bites her lip again.
"I... I used to know them..." she manages to answer. "I wanted to
"Yeah, they are okay. He treats them like they are saints..."
"I know..." she mutters, before drinking more water.
This silence becomes the longest since the survivor had gained consciousness. It felt awkward and at the same time comforting. The two had shared some very dark secrets with one another, which bonded them deeper than they expected to be at this point. They had both seen and done things that would cause them to live with these regrets for the rest of their lives, but they had also escaped and managed to pick up the pieces, her more than him at this point.
"You know, it's funny," he murmurs to himself. "I've basically spilled my guts to you, and I haven't even told my name."
"Well, you do know our names, Ava kind of did that for us."
"I like the name Crystal, it's really pretty."
"Thank you," she says, her cheeks flushing pink and she moves some loose hairs behind her ear. "And what is your name?"
"I'm Ethan."
A/N: Please follow and review.