A/N Soooooo, it's been a hot minute since I updated. Sorry :) My muse told me to spend my bit of free time before the holidays writing my Tyrion/Sansa modern AU "New Year, New Beginning" instead. Check it out!
Tyrion lay in the bath watching as his exhaled bubbles flew up to burst at the water's surface. One of the advantages of his size was being able to fully immerse himself in a tub and pretend he was back in the warm summer waters of the Sunset sea. There was a shallow private cove at Casterly Rock that Tyrion often would play in with his siblings, mostly Jaimie of course, when they could escape Tywin's scrutiny. Tyrion excelled as a swimmer despite his shortened arms and legs, and while he would never be able to out swim his elder brother, sometimes he could best his sister in the water, and sometimes she would forget she hated him if only for a moment as they all played and splashed in the ocean.
His mind and heart twisted as he thought of Cersei. There was a small part of her that would always love her, love who she should have been to him, but it was overshadowed by a lifetime of abuse and hatred on her part and eventually his. As the years passed, his heart let go of more of the anger and moved toward forgiveness more for his own peace of mind than anything else. It was more than he could say for his father, a man for whom he now felt nothing at all. Truly the opposite of love is not hatred, as it still implies an emotional connection of some sort, but apathy instead. How Jaime dealt with it all was still a mystery to him and he assumed Brienne was his emotional support in that regard. Fortune favors that man wherever he goes, he thought enviously, wishing he had someone like that in his life too. As much as he loved his brother, there were certain dark parts of their past that simply could not be visited together without damaging their own bond. Tyrion would never fully understand what would drive Jaime to his sick, twisted relationship with his twin, and Jaime would never completely comprehend what finally drove Tyrion to murder their father.
Tyrion emerged from his bath, and regarded himself once again in the looking glass. He rubbed his hand over his week old stubble, having not shaved since he quarreled with Sansa. Not entirely sure why, habit maybe? After all he had grown the beard after Sansa had extricated herself from his life the first time, might as well make it a tradition he thought bitterly. Otherwise he didn't look quite as terrible as he had the day the Queen called him out on his downward spiral, but he did look exhausted. Which he was of course. It had been almost a full week since the ball, and he had run himself ragged from dawn to the wee hours of the morning everyday. Sure, there were things he could have, should have delegated but he needed to keep busy so his thoughts didn't linger on Sansa, but of course they always returned to her. The woman he loved, the woman that occupied his heart, his mind, and hell his chambers. The woman who could not forgive him for damaging their friendship beyond repair. He had barely seen her since the Hardyng incident (Hardyng was currently in shackles on a ship destined for Mereen where the Queen had asked Daario Naharis to use him as he sees fit.) He had hoped that he had reached past her anger at him when he was able to calm her after the attack, but that appeared not to be the case. In fact, after the first few days, he realized she was avoiding him at all costs and they were only in the same room at crowded public meetings and she spent any free time cloistered with her brother or the Queen and Lady Jenna (who were bonding tremendously in their confinement) only dining with his family on the nights he was oh-so-coincidentally elsewhere.
After dressing, he walked to his desk and stared contemplatively at the two pouches delivered by the jeweler's boy earlier that day. Tyrion had almost completely forgotten about the necklace and the bracelet buried in his work and his misery. He checked the clasp on the necklace and satisfied at the repair, tucked it back in it's pouch and placed it in his inside breast pocket by his damned foolish heart hoping that in the near future she would be willing to speak with him again and he could return it to her.
His heart aching with memories of Sansa wearing the dragonfly necklace in the garden, he turned to open the second pouch. Examining the contents, his stomach dropped at the pure beauty that lay before him. The bracelet was a deeply personal work of art with each charm representing a member of the Stark family. The Stark direwolf for her father, a trout of red and blue for her Lady Mother, and a crowned direwolf for her elder brother, Robb. Jon's was two sided, an albino wolf head on one side and an emerald dragon head on the other, representing cleverly his duality. Bran was of course a three-eyed raven, while Arya could only ever be truly be portrayed by her Needle. The youngest Stark, Rickon, was represented by a frolicing wolf-cub. The largest charm was also the most beautiful, a small scale Winterfell, her home that she had fought and suffered for.
His eyes admired every exquisite detail, but he knew that he could never give this to her. This was an intimate present from a family member, a lover or spouse, not an ex-husband and now former friend. Her nameday was not far off, perhaps he could pass it off as a gift from Jon and Daeneys. He knew he could easily convince them that it was there own idea with a few thoughts planted here or there. He placed it in his desk drawer, slamming and locking it shut, wishing he could do the same with his feelings.
In dire need for solitude, he canceled his dinner plans claiming fatigue. In his desperation for diversion, he had accepted invitations to a multitude of dinner parties that week unwittingly setting himself up as the main course for the single women attending. He had welcomed the attention briefly, convincing himself he needed to move on from Sansa Stark, but nothing stopped his thoughts and dreams from returning to her. Sighing deeply he resignedly accepted that he was in love, and he didn't know if he'd ever get over her. Nor did he really want to try.
Tyrion tried to slip out of the Tower sight unseen. He knew Sansa would magically be there that night, expecting him to be elsewhere. While he desperately wanted to see her, the last thing he ever wanted to do was make her uncomfortable and clearly she didn't want to speak with him.
Steps from freedom, Tyrion heard a voice call after him. "Avoiding her isn't going to repair what's been broken."
Closing his eyes in annoyance at his brother's voice he replied, "She's clearly not interested in trying to mend things or my friendship anymore. I'm saving us both the trouble. And if you haven't noticed, she's been avoiding ME all week like I have Greyscale!"
"I noticed." Jaime said and Tyrion could hear the disapproval in his voice that for once was not aimed at him. "Where are you going?"
"To look at the sea, to think. Alone." To try to figure out how to move on. Tyrion thought.
"I'd say you think enough, but I have something for you to consider." Jaime said seriously.
"What would that be?" Tyrion asked.
"Come home." Jaime said in an almost pleading voice. "For a few months, a year, for life, whatever you choose. This place, this job, it's killing you slowly. You don't need to marry to find a home and have a family. You DO have a family, a home, at Casterly Rock that loves you. Come home Tyrion."
Tyrion stopped, looking Jaimie in the eye and he could see the genuine worry there. He sighed with a sad smile, "I love you Jaime and your wife and children but Casterly Rock has never felt like home to me, not really. But I will think about coming to the Rock for a visit. It would be nice to get away for a time." He turned to walk away.
"Tyrion" Jaime called "No place will feel like home as long as your heart is elsewhere."
Tyrion just gave him a sad smile, before pulling up his hood and heading into the night.
Reyna had also had a long, busy, and tiring week culminating in the events of this past afternoon. An innocuous event to anybody but herself, but she had felt as acutely as the water of a still pond rippled at the tiniest stone breaking it's surface. As she took the seat next to Sansa, that night for dinner with the Lannisters she still feel disquited but she couldn't exactly name why. But that was a lie. She could name exactly why or should she say who had unsettled her perfectly ordered little world.
Earlier that week she had spent hours cultivating many successful relationships with the Ladies of various houses, being young enough to appeal to the younger generation but as a widow she could appeal to the matriarchs as well. The next step for the council was to reach out to women of the common folk and she had some meetings set up next week with some women either Varys or Lady Jenna thought could be of benefit.
Today she had finally been able to escape both council and summit business with her cousin and Ser Jaime to meet with his childhood friend Ser Addam Marbrand. Ser Addam of course was equally busy running the Gold Cloaks what with the city being filled with visitors for the Summitt. As she waited patiently for dinner to start (Noting that both Tyrion and Sansa somehow managed to miss each other yet again. She hoped this rift between them would mend soon, but sensed it was only growing wider. Fools, she thought. It was becoming increasingly clear by their strange behavior that there was something deeper than friendship between the two.), she pondered the events of the afternoon.
Jaime and Brienne had escorted her to a large home in one of the more affluent neighborhoods of Kings Landing. A maid had answered the door, escorting them to the courtyard where the sounds of sparring greeted their ears. A loan adult male in full armour stood in the middle of the yard surrounded by three girls ranging in size and age from she guessed nine or ten to early teens. The oldest a tall willowy girl with raven hair, stood in a fighters stance with a small knife in her hand while her other was held out indicating for the man to stop. "NO!" she yelled loudly, defiantly as the man approached her.
"Good girl Darla." said a rich strong voice from under the full helm. "Your voice is a weapon too. Don't be afraid to use it to attract attention or let your attacker know you are serious. Some ignorant men take politeness or demureness for acquiescence. Let them know this is not the case with a strong command."
He suddenly lunged for her, and quick as a whip she slipped from his grasp with a quick stomp to his insole with the heel of her boot and she dashed across the yard in an instant pulling up at the last second before she collided headlong with Brienne and Jaime who were a step ahead of Reyna. The girls eyes bugged out wildly and remembering her manners she curtsied deeply while mumbling an apology.
"No need to apologize Lady Darla. Your moves were flawless with a perfect ending if you come seeking the aid of the bravest knight in the Seven Kingdoms, Ser Brienne Lannister." said Jaime with a charming smile for the girl and an adoring look at his wife. Reyna couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"Jaime!" came the booming excited voice from under the helm as the tall, broad shouldered man approached the party. He greeted Jaime enthusiastically with one of those manly back slapping hugs. He bowed for Lady Brienne, but before Reyna could step forward an exasperated woman's voice called "Addam, your helm's still on you great oaf. Take it off for our company."
The source of the voice was a tall stunning blonde woman, carrying a red haired toddler while an older female child trailed behind, a sister to Lady Darla if coloring was any indication. The toddler was placed on the ground running to join the two older blonde girls that were putting away the sparring gear in the courtyard. The young dark haired girl wrapped her arms around Ser Addam's muscular, tree trunk like leg, staring at the guests with huge hazel eyes.
"Celia!" Jaimie greeted enthusiastically with a kiss on the cheek to the leggy blonde that Reyna guessed was Ser Marbrand's wife. "Beautiful and feisty as you were as a girl."
"Somebody's got to keep him in line." she muttered quietly, sharing a sad look of understanding with Jaime that Reyna caught but didn't understand.
"Lady Celia, may I present my wife, Lady Brienne, and her cousin, Lady Loreyna." Jaime said gallantly before turning to Ser Addam who had been removing his healm during Celia's and Jaimie's greeting.
Reyna's eyes widened as she turned to Ser Addam. Before her stood one of the most attractive men she had ever laid eyes on. He had flaming red hair, much like her girlhood crush Ser Russell, with a closely cropped beard that barely concealed his dimples. Smiling broadly at Celia, and from the lines that accompanied it on his face Reyna could tell he smiled often, he barked in laughter "Forgive me sister, I am too often in the company of men these days that I forget my manners." Reyna found herself smiling a little too brightly upon learning that Celia was the handsome knight's sister.
Hazel eyes matching the child at his feet, turned to meet Reyna's and when their eyes locked she felt her heart beat loudly, shocking her to her core. His eyes widened in delight as he took a step toward her, almost stumbling after apparently not remembering the child attached to his leg, before taking her hand in his and kissing it causing the sensation of wildfire to spread up her arm and over her entire body. She found herself blushing like a foolish young maid as a flush overtook her body and she thanked the Gods for her darker Dornish coloring. "Lady Loreyna it is a pleasure to meet you, I have heard much of your work from Jaime and look forward to helping as I can. I also ask your forgiveness for my manners. I am but a poor widower and often don't have the occasion to have such lovely company as guests." he said with a smile that she was sure charmed every woman he talked to.
"Only because you don't want to," said Celia with a sigh and Reyna sensed an old argument between the siblings. "It really is high time you remarried, it's been five years since the fever took Clara, the Mother bless her soul. Poor Darla is doing the best she can to run the house, but they need a mother not just an Aunt that visits sporadically when their Uncle's business brings her to town. There are all these lovely women in town for the Summit, looking for husbands, and I think you are just as much of a catch as any of those so-called Most Eligible Bachelors all the women are talking about."
Reyna could see a flicker of pain cross Ser Addam's eyes and understanding it completely, she squeezed this man's hand that was somehow still in her grasp. Although he was a stranger, she knew exactly how he felt. "I too lost my husband and know that it feels impossible to replace a love that great."
He stared at her and she felt a connection with him, that she had never felt this instantly with anyone. "Perhaps" he said "that is because we need to change our thinking. We need not replace the love we had, but find a new one that leaves room for loved ones that are no longer with us."
And much, much, much to her surprise Reyna found herself replying "Maybe you're right Ser Addam. Love is not finite, but instead it grows and expands infinitely. However, I have also learned that love will find you when your're least expecting it, not when you're looking for it." she said addressing Celia. Gesturing at the lovesick Lannisters, "Take these two for example who found love on opposing sides in the middle of a war."
Reyna turned to her cousin and her husband and caught them smiling sweetly at each other. Their love was so strong and anyone around them could feel it and for the first time since Michael's death she desperately wanted to feel that way again. To be treasured, loved, safe, in the arms of the man she loved. Ser Addam's words gave her hope. Just because she wanted to fall in love again, did not make what her and Michael shared any less strong, nor was it betraying his memory. He would want her to be happy.
Hours later, the words still reverberated in her mind and she found her thoughts turning towards the handsome man with his dimples, flaming hair, and two lovely raven haired daughters. Lady Celia was right, in a way. The two young girls were starving for adult female attention and Reyna had found herself chatting more with Darla, who talked of her father's self defense training and trying to run her father's household at the ripe old age of thirteen, than with the adults. The six year old, Diana, had been shy at first, hanging on her father's leg. However, by the end of the afternoon, she had practically crawled in Reyna's lap showing her some of her drawings and making her promise to come back for a puppet show she was working on in the next few days.
And the whole time, her eyes were constantly being drawn to the hazel eyes of their father who gave her soft smiles, while he shared his training techniques with Brienne and Jaime who had suddenly decided to spearhead this project. She shivered a little at the thought of the intensity of his gaze when they parted that afternoon but hoped that she would see him again when she visited his daughters and sister for tea in a few days time but found it unlikely given how time consuming his job was. The thought of not seeing him again was more dismaying then she was ready to admit.
Dinner was pleasant as always, with Podrick and Sansa organically becoming members of the extended Lannister family. Although Reyna noticed that Jaime, while not being overt, was not his warm and jovial self with Sansa, often saying loudly and somewhat pointedly what a shame it was that Tyrion was not there to join them. They shared the story of their visit with Ser Addam's family and Reyna found herself blushing mightily when Joy asked her to describe the knight, frustrated by Brienne's description "Looks like he could hold his own in a fight." When Reyna mentioned his red hair, she couldn't help but get a private smirk from Sansa who clearly hadn't been drunk enough to forget the details of Reyna's former crush.
After dinner, Sansa and Reyna were about to accompany (more like chaperone) Joy and Podrick on an evening stroll while Jaime and Brienne went upstairs to check on their children. They were just about to head out the door when they heard footfalls coming rapidly down the tower stairs. Jaime, his eyes wide and slightly winded came rushing towards them and the group became alarmed.
"Is everything alright cousin? Is something the matter with the children?" Joy asked in alarm.
"They are well. It's just.." Jaime raked his hand through his hair looking stressed before turning to Sansa. "Could you please accompany me to the nursery Lady Sansa? I think there has been a misunderstanding and my darling daughter has mistakenly absconded with something that belongs to you and is quite upset about it."
"I'm sure it's nothing." Sansa said perplexed but the look on Jaime's face clearly indicated that it was in fact something.
Jaime escorted Sansa up the stairs, while Reyna wondered what could have possibly gotten the mostly unflappable man all worked up. Joy and Podrick looked at her expectedly still wanting to head out on their stroll and she motioned for them to go ahead while she went to grab her cloak. She sighed as she fashioned the clasp not looking forward to being the third wheel to the young lovers. She had been looking forward to Sansa's company, thinking they could hang back a good twenty yards and chat. Maybe she could have got Sansa to open up about whatever estrangement was going on between her and Tyrion. Or maybe Sansa could have helped her make sense of the effect a handsome stranger (but he didn't feel like a stranger at all which was the oddest thing) on her. Occupied by her thoughts, she wasn't paying attention at all when she opened the tower door and collided headlong into a solid wall of armoured muscle. Two strong hands gripped her arms and she tilted her head back to find those hazel eyes that had already become familiar twinkling at her with unabashed pleasure.
"Ser Addam!" she squeaked in surprise as she took a step back and his arms dropped from her arms. Ser Addam was dressed in his full Gold Cloak regalia and looked as fine a specimen of man as she had ever seen.
"Lady Loreyna am I catching you on your way out?" Ser Addam said and she couldn't help the pleasure she felt when she could hear the disappointment in his question.
"Yes, I am to play chaperone for those two lovebirds over by the garden entrance and sadly for me the fourth member of our party has become occupied by an urgent matter with the Lord and Lady of the Rock."
"Lord Tyrion?" Ser Addam asked, his voice still pleasant but slightly flatter in tone. She raised an eyebrow in response. If he was nonchalauntly asking about her relationship with Tyrion, it looks like he had spent some time checking up on her this afternoon and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. Annoyed? Flattered? Both?
"No, the Lady Sansa is staying at the tower and she was to join me. Truthfully, the family hasn't seen much of our host, busy as he is with the Summitt and all the matchmaking." she said with a teasing half smile.
A broad smile at her words caused those dimples she admired to appear and she felt a flutter in her tummy, and chastised herself momentarily for reacting like a silly maiden to a handsome man. "Celia told me that he's quite the hot topic among the ladies. But more because he hasn't shown a passing interest in any of them. Quite a change from the skirt chasing Tyrion I remember." he said chuckling.
She just smiled in reply before saying "If you came here to see Jaime, I'm afraid he's a bit busy at the moment."
"I actually came here asking if you could change your tea plans with my girls to dinner in two days time so I could join you as well." he said hopefully.
"I think I could arrange that." she said not being able to contain her grin.
He reached out taking her hand and tucking it in the bend of his muscular arm, before saying flirtatiously "Lady Loreyna, I would be honored if you'd let me be a poor substitute for Lady Sansa on your stroll this evening."
"I would be delighted Ser Addam." Reyna said feeling younger and lighter than she had in more years than she could remember.