Hello, long time. I'll be posting this across all the updates. Some are shorter than others but I am hoping to get back into the running of things. The last year or so has not been easy for me and I did sink to a low point. Most of the writing I had, I deleted because in the bad times, I thought it wasn't good enough. Here is an update and hopefully see you soon.

Thank you for all being so patient and for the reviews.

Enjoy and all mistakes are my own

Spencer looked into the bedroom to find Theo still huddled under the duvet and staring at the wall. A week had passed since Theo's episode and each day that went by was another day Spencer watched his brother retreat further from from the world. Katrina and Grace were staying with Garcia. Theo refused to see them and to talk to them. The medication that had caused the decline had promptly been replaced with the old one and his brother had stablised.

Spencer walked in and took a seat at the edge of the bed. "Theo, you need to leave the house and get some fresh air. Katrina and Grace are going to the park today and we could meet up with them."

"I'm fine staying here," Theo said quietly.

"You can't stay here forever. You have a wife and a daughter that miss you and love you."

"They're better off without me."

Spencer gritted his jaw. "Don't say that. Don't even think that. You've both been through so much to be together and you've both survived everything the world has thrown at you. Don't throw it away."

"Just leave me alone. You don't understand and you never will," Theo snapped before pulling the duvet over his head.

Spencer rose from the bed and walked over to the door. "I don't understand."

"I do," Diana said gently as she stepped past him into the room. The duvet immediately came down and Theo sat upright.

"Mom?" Theo's voice wobbled.

"Oh, my sweet boy," Diana soothed as she quickly came over and cradled Theo's face in her hands."

"I don't understand," Reid nodded sadly. "So I called Mom. I'll leave you two alone."

Theo's walls of defense crumbled at his mother's touch, he leaned forward and cried against her as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Shh, it's okay, just let it out," she urged.

"I don't know how to go on," Theo sobbed. "I-I wasn't me anymore and I lost control."

"Losing control is one of our illnesse's greatest curses. We become another person and we are no longer the one there in our body. I've known it a great many times."

Theo wiped at his eyes and raised himself to look at her. "I barely remember it. I remember the trouble before and then it's blank. The voices came back so loud and then nothing. I woke up to see Spencer by the side of my bed, he told me what I'd done and that Katrina and Grace were safe. I could have hurt them."

Diana sighed and cradled his hand. "I'm not here to sugarcoat everything. Yes, you could have hurt them but you didn't because you put precautions in place. Spencer had too. Living with schizophrenia isn't easy, there are risks but we have to accept them or else we would never be able to live a life. I was so upset when I was diagnosed but I couldn't let it take everything I had worked for away. When I had Spencer and you, even through the heartbreak when I'd thought I lost you, I couldn't let it take me over."

Theo listened intently as she continued.

"I tried to be a good mother especially when William left but I didn't always succeed. I couldn't stop the voices taking over and I lost lost control. I hurt Spencer. He would try hide it but I always knew it was my hand that had struck him. He did the right thing placing me in bennington. I didn't find the right person to stand by me but you have and you have family around you that I never had."

"I'm going to have to go into an institution one day," Theo shook his head.

"Maybe or maybe not. Leaps are being made in medicine everyday. Spencer enjoys telling me about the new studies and trials. The medication you're taking is incredible compared to what I was given when I was first diagnosed. That bastard doctor should have never changed your medication so suddenly. Theo, you can't turn your back on life, it doesn't work and it only gives the disease power. Cherish everyday that your mind is clear, just like I am today, and shower those you care about with all the love you have to give. Grace needs her father, Katrina her husband and Spencer his brother. You're not alone in all of this."

Theo bit his lip and ran his hand through his greasy, unwashed hair. "I know, Mom. I'm just scared all the time of what I could do. I lost control and hurt Spencer that time. I'll never forgive myself if I did that again."

"That day wasn't your fault. You never chose this but you have to own it. Don't let it break you."

"You always know just the righ words I need to hear," Theo smiled at her.

Diana smiled back before reaching up and stroking her thumb over his cheek. "My mind is clear today and I plan to take advantage of every moment I can gather today. Now, you're going to get up, shower, shave and brush that unruly hair of yours. We're going to go and see everyone. I'll put some clothes on the bed for you while you shower."

Theo knew better than to argue. His muscles ached as he rose up but with each pop and crack, he felt himself slipping back into the man he once was. Diana rose with him. He swiftly brought her into a hug and held her close.

"Thanks, Mom," he whispered lovingly to her. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she grinned at him as she came away. Her hand brushed the stubble on his chin. "Now, go shave. You and your brother are not destined to have a beard.

Reid sipped his coffee as he waited. He'd tried to break through to his brother over the days but had failed. He'd managed to get him to eat and drink but the shell that Theo had created and hardened around his heart and mind was something he couldn't break down. He didn't know how long had passed but he looked up to his mother coming out of the bedroom.

"We're going to the park," Diana sighed with relief.

Spencer heard the shower turn on and the happiness that surged through was incredible. He wrapped his arms around his mother and let out a small happy noise. "Thanks, Mom. I didn't know what to do."

Diana came away from the hug and looked into his eyes. "You called me and I'm glad you did. Just be there for him, support him and you'll know what to do. Now, come help me lay out some clothes. You both dress so differently."

Theo breathed in the fresh air as they left the car and walked down the path towards the play area in the park. Spencer and their mother stayed by his side as they reached the gate. His heart warmed as he saw Katrina and Grace by the slide. Spencer and Diana stayed back as he pushed opened the gate and stepped inside. Katrina's eyes watered as they settled on him. Grace saw him and rushed from the slide.

"DADA!" she screamed as she ran to him. Theo swooped her up and cradled her close.

"Hello, my little bumblebee. Daddy missed you so much."

Katrina came close and they touched their foreheads together. He kissed her lovingly and felt complete for the first time since his episode.

"I love you so much," he whispered.

Katrina kissed him back. "I love you too. We're in this together. Always."

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