CHAPTER 16
I sit on the doorstep and go through everything. I feel bad that I have run out on Gideon like that, and part of me wants to go back in there and to stay with him and protect him against his fucked up family but after Geoff's mighty bombshell I know they need to talk in private.
My mind is spinning, I need someone to talk to. I go to call my Gran, but then I pause. No this isn't right. I can't unload all this on to her she doesn't have anything to do with it, and besides this is Gideon's family it's private, it's not my story to tell. I rest my forehead against my phone and close my eyes then the answer comes to me in a rush, Elizabeth, Gideon's mother.
I lift my head and quickly find her number in my contacts and press before I start to doubt myself again.
"Hello" she says as she answers.
"Erm… hello, Elizabeth… Liz. It's Eva, Gideon's girlfriend" I say nervously.
"Hello Eva, how are you, is Gideon alright?" she asks, the concern evident in her question.
"Well…" I begin and then I pause.
"What is it?" she asks and I can now hear panic in her voice.
I sigh and then before I can second guess myself, I unload everything that has happened this morning. I spill my guts and tell her everything, and it all comes out in a rush. To her credit she doesn't interrupt or say anything until I'm done".
"How's Gideon now?" she asks when I have finished speaking.
"I'm not sure, I had to get out of there for a moment, he was ok with that but I also needed to talk to someone about it and you were the obvious choice as you were… well, involved" I say.
"I had no idea that Geoffrey had been abused" she says eventually after another long silence.
"Well, neither did his mother by the look on her face, but he said he had never told anyone" I say.
I hear her sigh, "Gideon senior - Geoffrey's father was a complete bastard, he was controlling and he had this sense of complete entitlement, he thought he was better than everyone else. He tried to dominate everyone he met and he did make a pass at me, so knowing what sort of man he was he would probably have just dismissed Geoffrey completely if he had told him that his grandfather had abused him, he wouldn't allow himself to believe it or do the right thing for his boys so it's no wonder Geoff and Hugh kept it to themselves". She pauses a moment and I take the silence to ask a question.
"You hold him… Geoff's dad, completely responsible for the breakdown of your marriage to Geoff?" I ask nervously.
There is another pause before she answers. "I do, Gideon Cross senior was an awful man. I hated the fact my son was named after such a vile human being. I don't believe he abused Geoffrey physically or sexually in any way… but mentally and emotionally is probably another matter he was a complete narcissist and ruled the family with a rod of iron. Yet despite the fact he expected perfection from everyone he didn't hold himself to the same standard. He was a philanderer, he had a reputation as having wandering hands with the ladies, and as I say I remember that he truly believed it was ok to touch me inappropriately, almost as if because I was married to his son it was his right to do so. I told Geoffrey and at first he was furious, I'd never seen him so angry and he confronted his father and he told him to leave me alone. That made Gideon so angry about it because I had not only stood up to him but I'd also told Geoff and also because Geoff had believed me. But it was after that that he started whispering in Geoffrey's ear and making him doubt me, that was his revenge at what he saw as Geoff and I not complying with his wishes. But after what you have just told me, it explains Geoff's reaction and behaviour… a lot, in fact it explains everything," she says.
An idea comes into my head, an outrageous one but I decide to go with it, "Why don't you come over and talk to Geoff now that you know all this? I'm not suggesting anything like a grand reunion or reconciliation but he did offer the olive branch when he apologised to you on the phone, so that was a start, for both of you. Why don't you try and lay all this to rest once and for all?" I pause and once more the silence spreads out between us.
"It was just an idea," I say eventually as I can't stand the silence any longer.
"Does Geoff still live in the same place though?" she asks doubtfully.
I remember Gideon's reaction to the house when we first arrived, "I don't know, but Gideon had a negative reaction when we first arrived, he said this house was where he was abused so if you know where that is, because I have no fucking idea whereabouts I am apart from the fact all the houses around here are pretty big and fancy and there are trees out on the street". I pause and glance up at the front door, there is no number on it but I remember the big white gates.
"There are big white gates – ones which opened electronically when we arrived if that sounds familiar to you, and quite a long windy driveway" I add, hoping that is helpful.
"Then yes, he still lives in the same house" she says, then there is another silence. "Ok, I'm coming" she says eventually.
"Alright, do you want me to let Gideon know?" I ask
"Yes, please, and thank you for calling me and telling me all that Eva" she says.
We say our goodbyes and I get up and go back inside. I follow the sounds of the voices and enter the large living room, immediately everyone pauses and looks at me.
I hold up my hands defensively, "Look I don't know if I have done the right thing or not, but I needed to talk to someone about all… this, and I called Liz" I pause as I hear Gideon gasp.
"She's on her way here, and she knows everything, I told her everything that was said" I say slightly nervously.
Gideon smiles at me and stands up. "Come here Angel" he says and I walk towards him and he engulfs me in his arms and kisses me.
I feel another hand on my arm and turn to face Geoff who is also smiling, "I have no idea how you managed that, but you have done totally the right thing, it's time all the secrets and lies were laid to rest once and for all" he says kindly, "I will be forever in your debt for everything you have done for my family" he adds.
I turn and see Gideon's grandmother. She is glaring at me and her lips are pursed and her arms are folded and I can't help the snort that escapes me.
"Let me guess you're not happy I told Liz, and so now she knows exactly how fucked up this family is you are now even more pissed off with me than you were before?" I say, the sarcasm dripping from my words.
"I am trying to work you out young lady" the woman says coldly.
I grin at her, "All you need to know is that I love Gideon and that I think your family is completely fucked up" I say. I turn to Gideon who lets out a small laugh at my words and pulls me closer, but I gently push him away and take a step towards his grandmother.
"But having said that, I saw your face when Geoff told you he'd been abused as a kid. You were shocked and appalled. So I think beneath that icy queen bitch front you put on, you love your son and what he said has fucking destroyed you. I do believe that you are now realising that if he and Hugh had felt able to confide in you what had happened to them as kids, you probably could have got them the help they needed… and possibly you could have prevented what happened to Gideon and Adam. So, now I think you are feeling guilt ridden by how you have tried to deny everything. I think you love all your family and even though that love has got more than a bit warped, I don't think you are beyond help. You all just need to sit and talk, get all the shit and poison and secrets that have been such a toxic influence and more than anything you need to learn that no-one is better than anyone else and everyone deserves to be heard and believed". I pause as Gideon's grandmother continues to drill holes into me with her eyes.
"Even Hugh?" she asks, almost challenging me.
I glance at Gideon who has let out a small gasp, and I shrug. "As long as he acknowledges and truly is remorseful for what he has done. Which was totally wrong on every possible level and which I don't condone in any way shape or form and shows he means it by getting help for what he went through. Which now I believe made him the way he was. Not only that, he also needs to accept the fact that Gideon probably won't want any relationship with him and he has to stop approaching him and trying to force him to do so, if he does all that then yeah, I can't see why not". I look at Gideon again who is listening carefully to what I am saying.
"After all, it appears he is as big a victim as you were baby, and just like you he deserves to get help to stop being a victim and in his case an aggressor and become a survivor" I say carefully to him.
Gideon nods in agreement and Geoff takes a step towards me, "You are incredibly wise for such a young woman" he says kindly and I smile at him.
"It's a gift" I retort and once again I hear Gideon try and stifle a laugh. I turn back to Gideon's grandmother. "But, if he can't or won't do any of those things… then… no he doesn't deserve to be heard – he doesn't deserve anything". I say with a firm finality.
Gideon's grandmother cocks her head to one side, "Extraordinary" she mutters but as I look at her I swear I see her cold gaze warm a little.
"Oh and one more thing" I say, and Gideon's grandmother looks up at me once more. "You need to admit your husband was also a piece of shit, I mean who in their right mind tries it on with their daughter in law?" I say bluntly, and I shake my head in disgust.
oooOOOooo
About half an hour later the front door bell rings and I look up, "I'm guessing that's Liz" I say and I watch as Geoff gets up and leaves the room. I hear low voices and then a moment later he returns with Liz at his side.
"Gideon?" she says, her eyes zeroing in on him. Gideon untangles himself from me and stands to greet his mum.
"Hi mum" he says and I watch as Liz surges forward and embraces him tightly.
I watch the reactions of Geoff and Gideon's grandmother, Geoff looks guilty and I know he is regretting every bad thing he has done to Liz over the years and the affect that has had on Gideon. Gideon's grandmother is giving nothing away, she still sits composed with a totally impassive look on her face as she watches the scene in front of her.
Eventually Liz breaks away and looks at Geoff, "I know everything" she states as she glances quickly at me, "Eva told me what happened here today, and it makes everything that happened between us so obvious now".
Geoff nods and takes a step towards Liz, to which she immediately takes a step back. "I just want to say how sorry I am for everything" he says earnestly, he is pleading with her with his eyes to believe him.
She nods, "I loved you" she says sadly, "I would never have done the things he suggested I did, the things which planted the mistrust and paranoia in your mind, I never betrayed our love" she states.
Geoff nods, "I realise that now" he says bleakly, "and I can only ask that you forgive me my foolishness, I realise it is too late for anything more than that" he adds.
Liz nods, "I think we all have a lot of talking to do". She looks at Gideon's grandmother and her expression hardens, "Your husband was the worst kind of man, he was selfish, controlling and had a warped sense of entitlement. He thought there was nothing wrong with groping me and trying to kiss me and he was stunned and angry when I didn't reciprocate and I fought him off. Then because I did he was also a vindictive man so when I told Geoffrey what had happened he considered that a slight on him, how dare I stand up to him and tell his son what he was really like. So, he got his revenge by planting the doubts in Geoffrey's head which made him become controlling and stifling and which eventually split us up and left our sons without a mother. So now knowing that, are you willing to talk or are you going to maintain your stance that I am just worthless lying scum?" Liz says bitterly.
I watch as Gideon's grandmother heaves herself out of the chair and walks over to Liz and after a moment's hesitation she holds out her hand to her. "I was wrong, and my husbands and both my sons actions were unforgivable" she says simply as she offers her hand. Liz looks gobsmacked her mouth drops open and she stares at the outstretched hand, then quickly she pulls herself together and accepts it, placing her hand into the old woman's.
"I never thought I would see the day you admitted you were wrong" Liz says eventually.
Gideon's grandmother smiles and looks at me, "I have been shown the error of my ways, and I have been forcibly confronted with facts I was previously unaware of" she says.
I feel Gideon beside me and he wraps his arm tightly around my waist. "Listen, I know that this is a monumental moment happening right now. But Eva and I have to leave soon, as we need to get back to Stoke… for Maisie" he says, looking at his father.
"Of course you do, let me get the paperwork which needs your signature for the business legalities" Geoff says and I watch as he disappears from the room.
"Who is Maisie?" Gideon's grandmother asks.
"My daughter" I say slightly defensively, and I wait for her response.
"Eva left her with her grandmother while she accompanied me here" Gideon explains.
"How old is she?" Gideon's grandmother asks.
"Four" I reply and I watch her and I can almost see her doing the maths in her head, "Yes I was very young when I had her" I add.
Gideon's grandmother doesn't get chance to say anything as the door opens and Geoff returns with a stack of papers in his hand, Gideon rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything. He lays the contracts down on the table and Gideon picks them up and starts to read, his eyes widen considerably and he points at the contract.
Geoff nods "It is correct, it just needs your signature to confirm it" he says.
I see Gideon shake his head and after a moment's hesitation he signs his name, then he quickly reads the others and signs them as well. I wonder what caused the reaction for the first contract but it's none of my business.
"Ok?" Gideon confirms looking at his father questioningly.
"That's everything, so you are now officially the CEO of Cross Industries, it's all yours son. I don't want it, and it's the least I can do for you considering how I have completely failed you as a father, take it, restructure it as you wish and use it to build a new life for you and Eva" he says.
I can't quite believe what I am hearing. I look at Geoff and then at Gideon and wait for something else to be said, I'm certain I have heard this wrong and I wait for them to say something else.
"What about you, what will you do?" Gideon asks.
Geoff smiles, "I am now just the figurehead, an honourary president and will remain so until my death. I will continue to be based at the head office here in Manchester and I'll always be here to offer guidance should you need it. You are free to be based wherever you deem suitable, but I believe you have already chosen Stoke as your main base. A sensible choice as the Stoke depot is the largest of the regional centres" Geoff says.
I can't believe what I am hearing, Gideon is now in charge of Cross Industries, I stare at him in shock.
"What?" he says with a hint of amusement.
I shake my head, "I'm just a bit taken aback, have I got this right, you own Cross Industries now?" I say quietly.
Gideon smiles, "I'm still the same person I was a few moments ago" he says and he pulls me closer, "The one you said you loved" he adds whispering it into my ear before planting a sweet kiss on my cheek.
I am stunned but I know Gideon will take on this challenge and run with it, I also realise he will want to implement the same changes and structure at all the depots so I will probably not see much of him in the coming months while he restructures the company.
I am pulled from my thoughts by Gideon speaking. I miss the first part as I tune into what he is saying.
"…heading off then now" he says looking around the room.
I watch as he hugs his mother and father and after a moment's hesitation he takes a step towards his grandmother and holds open his arms.
"Grandma?" he says carefully.
I get a huge lump in my throat as she nods and steps into his arms and I see Gideon close his eyes, I realise this is probably the first time he has had a hug from his grandmother.
When he pulls away, they are both blinking furiously. "Well, I'll say goodbye then". He turns to his father, "Let me know when the funeral is…" His father nods wordlessly and Gideon continues to speak "and use this time, get everything out, get all the poison from the past out into the open and let's make a new start. I'm not so naive to think we will ever be as close as Eva's family are, there is too much to overcome for that to happen but seeing what a family can be like gives me hope that we can perhaps experience some of that in the future. The love and closeness of Eva's family is intoxicating if you let it in and I have no intention of letting it go now I have experienced it". He grabs my hand as he says this and smiles lovingly at me.
oooOOOooo
The drive back to Stoke is more relaxed than the drive to Manchester and I look at Gideon and decide to comment on the news he is the new CEO of Cross Industries.
"So… you're the big cheese now at work?" I say trying to keep the atmosphere light.
I watch as an amused smile fills his face, "It would appear so, does that bother you?" he asks carefully.
I think about that, "No, only in so far as I'm guessing you are going to be travelling to all the depots and getting them all up to the standard you have implemented at Stoke and altering any shit that needs changing" I say.
I watch him carefully and see him nod, "I will, and you will be coming with me and helping me do it" he says.
My mouth drops open, "Me?!" I gasp in shock, "What use will I be?" I add.
"You will be a great asset Eva, you know the picking department inside out, you are the most productive picker Stoke has. You also can read people and you can spot a bullshitter from a mile away, you saw how things could be improved at Stoke and you also pinpointed the failings. I need you with me Eva, as soon as I walk into any depot everyone will be on their best behaviour and showing me their best side, look what happened when we all visited Stoke. None of us had any idea what a waste of space Norman Thomas was and how he was slowly destroying that depot along with his cronies in despatch until you pointed it out to me and I looked deeper". He stops speaking and glances at me.
"Seriously?" I ask.
"Very" he replies firmly.
"But I can't be travelling around the country" I blurt out.
"Angel, trust me. I won't expect you or ask you to do anything that impacts negatively on Maisie, yes I will be travelling to the depots and yes I will want you to come with me, but I will also want to make sure that Maisie is well taken care of and that you won't be separated from her for longer than is absolutely necessary".
I consider that and slowly nod, "Ok" I concede.
Gideon reaches for me and grasps my hand, "I love you Eva, and I trust you, and I trust your instincts and together we will make Cross Industries bigger and better than it has ever been. With you at my side I believe that we can do it".
I am feeling overwhelmed again and so I don't say anything but I squeeze his hand to let him know I have heard what he said.
oooOOOooo
My head feels like it's about to explode by the time we reach Stoke, Gideon pulls up outside my Gran's house and the car hasn't come to a complete halt before the front door opens and Maisie is hurtling towards us. My heart leaps as I see her and I fumble with my seatbelt and the car door in my rush to get to her.
I crouch with my arms open wide and she runs into them and I hold her tightly.
"Mummy!" she squeals.
"Maisie, I have missed you so much" I mutter into her hair as I cling to her.
"Have you been a good girl?" I ask her and I feel her nod against me, we stay like that for a moment until I feel Maisie start to pull away and as she does so I see Gideon standing to the side watching us carefully.
"Gideon!" Maisie calls happily and she runs to him and wraps her arms around his leg.
"Hello Maisie" he says and he reaches down and lifts her up into his arms causing Maisie to giggle loudly.
"Can I have a ride on your shoulders?" Maisie asks and Gideon immediately lifts her and places her on to his shoulders and grasps her ankles tightly.
"Hold tight Maisie" I say and I turn towards the house where I see my gran in the doorway watching us.
"Hi Gran!" I call as I make towards her.
"Hello love" she says and wraps her arms around me, "How was Manchester?" she asks, she is watching me carefully and I know she is sensing my mood. I am certain of this when she grasps my hand and pulls me inside.
"I bet you could do with a cuppa?" she says vaguely and I jump on that vague question to nod and follow her into the kitchen.
As I do so, I hear granddad greeting Gideon and Maisie and I know immediately that she has probably told him to keep Gideon occupied while she talks to me and I am grateful for that as I need some advice. I watch as my gran fills the kettle and gets the mugs out. Eventually she turns to face me.
"Well?" she says simply.
"Where do I start?" I ask and I sit down at the table.
Gran sits beside me and reaches across the table towards me, "How about at the beginning" she says gently.
I sigh deeply and give a brief overview of the events of the weekend without giving away any of the really personal stuff which isn't my place to tell, as I do so my gran listens carefully, nodding and asking questions here and there but seeming to realise I am holding back on something.
"You're not telling me everything Eva, something happened?" she says when I pause.
I hear the kettle boil and gran gets up to make the tea.
"You're right I am, because it's not my story to tell, it's private between Gideon and his family. It wouldn't be right for me to tell you all the details, but all I will say, I've never known a family to be more fucked up than they are, but hopefully this weekend has… I don't know… lanced a boil. There is still a lot of work to be done but instead of everyone taking positions and blaming everyone else they actually sat and talked and listened to each other, which can only be a good thing… can't it?" I look at my gran hopefully and she smiles.
"It can, but only if they want it to be" she says.
I nod and as she places a mug of tea in front of me I decide to tell her what else happened.
"Something else happened, when we were at Gideon's dads house. He got him to sign some stuff for the company, now his granddad is dead, he – Gideon's dad needed it to be done" I begin.
"Ok, so what does that have to do with you?" Gran asks.
"Everything" I say and I take a sip of my tea. "You see Gideon is now the CEO – he is in charge of Cross Industries. His dad is staying on as President but he said it was an honorary figurehead role, Gideon would be in charge of the company and its day to day running" I say.
"So, he's going back to Manchester?" Gran asks.
I shake my head, "No, that's just it he's not. He is staying in Stoke and he is planning on restructuring the whole company, he plans to visit every depot, and bring them all in line with the changes he has already implemented at Stoke and reading between the lines I think he wants to streamline everything and standardise everything so each depot is not a law unto themselves, he said that he is selling his flat in Manchester and he even said he is selling his car" I explain.
"Alright and how is that a bad thing? That sounds to me like he is being very sensible and he's looking to secure the company and make it stronger and more efficient, and if he is planning on being based here then it is natural he would sell his flat in Manchester" Gran says.
I nod, "It is but he wants me to be a part of it all he wants me to go with him. He wants me to check things out. He said because it was my ideas which he implemented at Stoke which made things better, and he said it's because I could spot bullshitters from a mile off and he thinks I will be able to spot things which he will miss as people will be too busy trying to kiss his arse and show him how good everything is when he visits". I stop speaking and look up at my gran and I am surprised to see her smiling at me with ill concealed pride.
"So I ask again Eva, what is the problem? Because I can't see one, he clearly trusts you to offer you such a role?" She says.
I stare at her, "Gran, have you heard a word I have said? He wants me to go with him, he wants me to help him restructure his company. I'm 19 years old Gran, I left school at 16 with nothing what if I fuck up? I'm known for fucking up, and if I fuck this up it will be bad… really bad!"
Gran reaches for me once more, "You don't give yourself enough credit Eva, you've made mistakes, we all make mistakes. But don't let past mistakes colour and deny you what could be a brilliant opportunity, stop looking at it negatively. He wants you to help him, he was telling you he needs you for this, take that and run with it. This is a golden opportunity for you Eva don't blow it as that would be the biggest fuck up of your life if you do".
I stare at her, and realise what she is saying, but then I hear Maisie laugh and it reminds me of my main concern about this.
"But I have Maisie to consider" I say.
"And?" Gran says.
"I can't spend time away, travelling the country with Gideon visiting all the depots. I have responsibilities here" I say. As my gran goes to open her mouth to speak, I hold up my hand. "And before you say you will help out, I can't put on you any more than I already do. You do enough already for us".
Gran smiles at me, "Did you say any of this to Gideon?" she asks.
I nod, "I said it would be hard for me to do that because of Maisie and he said that she would come first and he wouldn't let any of his plans impact negatively on her".
"Well why don't you trust him to do that then?" Gran asks.
I shrug, "I guess I'm just used to managing on my own" I say, I look up and remember the events previously at school regarding Maisie, which I haven't told Gran about, "he said he would take over dropping off Maisie when I'm on earlies he said it seemed silly the way we do things at the moment when he could take her and then head straight to work afterwards. I have put him on the approved contact list and the school is happy with that, and Tasha has also met him".
"Well, there you go. You need to trust him, I know it's hard but he isn't Nathan" Gran says.
I nod, "Maisie loves him, she is getting so attached to him, he told me that she said he doesn't scare her like Nathan does. She is my priority Gran what if I let him in and start to rely on him and it all goes tits up and he leaves me? I will lose everything if that happens and it will destroy Maisie and I won't let that happen" I say my anxiety rising at the thought.
"Eva calm down! You are looking for issues which aren't there. Listen to me, everyone takes a leap of faith when it comes to a new relationship, if everyone went into a relationship waiting for the day it was all going to go wrong nobody would be with anyone. I loved your granddad he was my world and he died, that nearly destroyed me but then I met Tez and I was worried, what if? What happens if this happened? What if that happens? And I said as much to him, and you know what he said to me, he said Sandra, what if you go out tomorrow and got hit by a bus? Will that stop you going out? No it won't, so stop focussing on the what if's and focus on what you know and that is what you need to do… and what do you know about that boy…? Well from where I am sitting he is in love with you, he wants to do what is right by you and Maisie. He trusts you and he wants you to be part of his life and his future, you can't ask for more than any of that". Gran stops and takes a long drink of her tea.
I think about what my Gran has said and after taking a gulp of my tea I realise in a rush she is right, and that if I don't grab this opportunity with both hands I will be doing both myself and Maisie a big disservice.
"Thanks Gran" I say eventually after I have worked everything out in my mind.
"You are very welcome; I know this is probably overwhelming for you that this is all new and you haven't known him for very long and things are moving so fast. But do you know how long I knew Tez before I let him in?" I shake my head, "Two weeks, everyone said it would never last because we moved so quickly but how long have we been together now?" she smiles at me and lets that sink in, "Now let's go and take them their tea" she says reaching for the tray with the teapot on.
I follow Gran into the front room and see Gideon with Maisie on his lap and he is talking to Tez, he looks up and smiles at me as we come in.
"About time we're spitting feathers here!" granddad says with a grin as he focuses on the tray.
"Oh shut up you, we were chatting, Eva was telling me all about Manchester. She said you are planning on selling your home up there and basing yourself here in Stoke" Gran says as she sets down the tray.
Gideon nods, "I am, I am selling my flat and my car. I want to get something around here so I can be near Eva and Maisie… and the car, well its hardly a practical family car. Maisie barely manages to fit in the back now so as she grows she just won't be able to get in at all" he says enthusiastically.
"So you are looking at this in the long term?" Tez asks as he sips his tea.
I watch as Gran gives Gideon a mug of tea and he nods again, "Thank you" he says as he takes it, "Yes I am, Eva is my future, Eva and Maisie and I am hoping now that I am in charge of Cross Industries, our future will be secure and bright. I have to say I wasn't expecting that to happen and it initially threw me, but now the shock of what my father has done has passed I'm looking at it for what it is and that is as a huge opportunity for myself and for Eva to build a good life for us, and I am hoping that Eva will stand beside me and help me modernise and streamline it. I value her opinion as she knows the company from a perspective I never could. She sees it from the day to day running and she can see where things can be improved…" he takes a sip of his tea and hums appreciatively, "I have never ever met anyone like Eva, she is amazing and she has given me so much in the short time I have known her I just want to give her the world in return" he says.
I am taken aback by what he has just said, and I look at Gran who is giving me a smug 'I told you so' look and granddad who just looks dumbfounded. But Gideon is oblivious and continues to speak.
"I know it's so quick and we have only known each other for about 5 minutes and believe me I have never ever done anything like this before. I sometimes feel I am pushing Eva too quickly and I'm sorry if I am. But when you find someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with and who you know instinctively is your soul mate you want that rest of your life to begin immediately, I just hope I can live up to what Eva wants and that I don't disappoint her" he stops speaking and drinks his tea.
I sigh, "I won't deny I am scared and more than a little overwhelmed by all this, everything is happening so fast and I'm not used to having everything just dropped in my lap" I say quietly.
Gideon looks at me kindly and smiles, "I know Angel and I'm sorry if I am overwhelming you, but for the first time in my life I have a goal and a future, and it is down to you. You have made my world come into focus and I can see everything clearly, and I like the future I am seeing with you and with Maisie" he says.