He's doing it again. He's knows he needs to stop. He knows that there are no answers here, only questions. But it is a compulsion now, born of habit and obsession. Every night, Vader does this. He sits in his small hyperbaric medical pod on his star destroyer and pours over the Intel file Captain Groat has provided on the life of Luke Skywalker.
In the pictures, the resemblance isn't strong, but it's there if you know where to look. The longish, tousled hair is definitely from him. It's light brown, verging on dark blonde in the right light. Well, really, all of his son's warm coloring comes from him. The skin, the hair, even the light-colored eyes are from Anakin Skywalker. And while the kid gets his short stature from his mother, his frame is leanly muscled like Vader remembers from his younger days. His own athletic build had come from years of Jedi Guardian training. Not this boy's physique. Luke Skywalker's muscles come from seven-day-a-week farm work sweating beneath Tatooine's twin suns.
As far as Vader can tell, if there is one defining feature of his kid's life, it is hard work. When Vader zooms in on the Intel pictures, you can see the boy's calloused hands and broken nails. Luke didn't grow up a slave, but it was far from a pampered upbringing. The school records too evidence the boy's hard life. More than one teacher notes that young Skywalker's grades do not reflect his true ability. When the boy applies himself, he excels. But day to day, he simply doesn't have time to study or to do his homework. When a guidance counselor raised the issue with his guardian, Owen Lars had brushed off the concern. The counselor recorded the man's response: "Luke's a farmer. That's all he'll ever be. He doesn't need homework for that. I will never let him go to the Academy."
Could that have been Lars' way of avoiding the issue? Was the strategy to protect the boy by burying him on the farm? Because that was never going to work long-term. For try as try he might, the son of the Chosen One was never going to remain anonymous forever. That's not how the Force works. Destiny is unavoidable and to fight against it is to toil in vain. This unsuspecting boy was born for greatness and, unfortunately, he now appears to be on a collision course with his own father. Vader knows that if he doesn't intervene soon, things could get very ugly. The longer his kid stays with the Rebels, the trickier it will be to extract him.
But besides the Force and his appearance, how much of the rest of the kid is like Vader's old self? There is no mention of arrogance or a temper in any of the school records. The boy is described as good natured but with a tendency to whine, appropriately respectful of authority, mostly intimidated by girls, and good with mechanics. At least that last part sounds familiar, Vader decides. Young Skywalker is a good bush pilot, one of his young friends attests. Otherwise, the kid appears wholly unremarkable. In fact, he's truly forgettable at first glance. There's no obvious clue other than his surname to reveal this boy's importance.
Scrolling once again through the pictures of the burned-out farm and the torched bodies of Owen and Beru Lars, Vader wishes he had made that Corporal he choked on Mustafar suffer more. Because but for the Force contriving to keep his son away at the critical moment, Luke too would have been killed. And besides, those humble, hardworking people had given his no-blood-relation son a home at great peril to themselves. In the end, they died for it needlessly.
So many questions are now left unanswered with those deaths. Does Luke Skywalker even know who his father is? Or who his father was, for that matter? What does he know about his mother? And what was Obi-Wan's role in all of this? How much did Kenobi train the boy? Vader thinks it may be very little since there is no mention of any special abilities in the Intel report. But is that an elaborate act for public consumption? Or is the boy truly green? Vader recalls the enormous Force imprint of the Death Star pilot he chased down the trench. All that raw power was something to behold.
But why would Obi-Wan let Luke get to adulthood without basic training? That's not the Jedi way, for certain. The Order began indoctrinating its dogma very young to rear children to discipline and control. Lest any youngling learn to love and discover the rich beauty of attachment. And lest any wayward Padawan learn to think for themselves and begin to question the conventional Jedi wisdom. Recalling how the High Council had reacted with fear upon finding Anakin Skywalker untrained at age ten, Vader can only imagine how the Council might react to his son making it to age twenty without traditional training. Somewhere in exile Master Yoda is pissed. The thought makes Vader smirk with grim pleasure.
But soon, he's back to staring at the pictures again. Vader is fascinated by his adult son. The revelation that he's alive and well and a Rebel fugitive has dredged up all manner of strong emotions. The longer Vader broods on the issue, the stronger those emotions become. Here again is the terrible guilt, persistent anger, and inveterate sadness from the loss of Padme. Here is more rage and frustration at Obi-Wan for denying him the chance to raise his own children. Here too is the stomach-churning fear that his kid will suffer the same fate his father did—that Luke will first be a duped Jedi, and then an unhappy Sith. The 'what ifs' here just kill him. Vader is plagued by fantasies of what might have been for him and his son. There's so much that he would do differently now if he only could.
Vader kicks himself for not executing on his plan to leave the Jedi Order. It was an idea that slowly took shape after that fiasco with Ahsoka. Then, it became the logical solution once Padme got pregnant. Once he left the Order, he and Padme could live as a normal married couple and raise their children. There would be no more sneaking around or fear of discovery. They had talked about it a few times, but never reached a final decision. That was mostly because they were on opposite sides of the galaxy. But it was also because, for all his malcontent, Vader had still felt very invested in the Order and in the war at that point. Even with Padme's advancing pregnancy, he hadn't wanted to rush his exit. Then he found himself unexpectedly appointed to the High Council at the Chancellor's request. Suddenly, quitting the Order seemed like it was a betrayal of his duty to the Republic and to its leadership. Plus by then, the dreams of Padme's death had started. He had much bigger problems than just breaking the Jedi Code.
The solution presented itself in a conversation with Sheev at the opera about the Sith Master Darth Plagueis. Not long afterwards, he found himself the newly annointed Sith Lord Darth Vader. It had all happened so fast . . . and with the best of intentions. Vader hopes someday he can convince Luke of that truth. Vader knows he's no innocent victim, but neither is he the villain. He was the hero caught up in unreconcilable conflicts, trying to make his way forward. For himself, for his family, for the Republic, and for the Force. He knew at the time he didn't have great options, but he still had to choose. Sadly, none of it worked out.
But that is the past. The future is the issue now. Vader has to find his boy so he can keep him safe. He vows to do this at all cost. He owes it to Padme's memory to do something good for their son.
But once he finds Luke Skywalker, then what? What do you say in a situation like this? The boy probably hates him. He will fear him. He may even try to kill him. Those are all the inclinations that will make the boy ripe for Sheev to manipulate. And who knows what the kid has been told about his past? Luke may want to believe whatever lies Kenobi and Lars told him rather than the truth. One thing is for certain, there will be conflict. And when it comes to conflict between a Jedi acolyte and a Sith Lord, that usually means swords. The thought is as depressing as it is terrifying. Just like the knowledge that Vader himself nearly killed his own son in that Death Star trench.
Now more than ever, Vader hates the scary monster he has become. He's the masked man in the robot suit. Will his Jedi Rebel son be able to look past his father's Sith trappings and Imperial politics? Will Luke ever be able to see him as more than the Emperor's ruthless enforcer? As more than the Jedi Killer? So few people can. It's part of what made Astral Sidhu so special. Astral got it instinctively—somehow, she saw that while his sins are many, his suffering is also great. Vader has paid for his Dark folly many times over in blood, in limbs, in pain, and in private tears of self-recrimination and regret. For twenty years, he has been trapped in a life he doesn't want but is powerless to change. And yet only now does he truly appreciate the full ramifications. Because for years, Vader mourned the wife he could not save and mostly ignored the twin children lost to obscurity. Unborn at the time, they weren't real to him. But now that his son has a name and a face and a life, the enormity of what Vader has lost is revealed to him.
Again, he stares hard at the young stranger in the picture. It's a mix of fear and longing.
More than anything, Vader wants to protect this son he accidentally abandoned. For isn't that the first role of a parent? To protect, first and foremost. Then, to provide and to teach. Even at this late date, Vader could do all of those things. He needs to. For if Sheev finds young impressionable Luke, there's no telling what his Master will turn him into. And this fear is the true root of Vader's obsession with his lost son: he must find Luke in order to save the boy from repeating his own mistakes.
Those mistakes were first in blindly following the path of the Jedi and then in falling for the lies of the Sith. Sheev still doesn't know the secret of immortality. He overpromised big time and like a desperate fool Vader had taken the bait. Neither the Jedi nor the Sith have all the answers, Vader knows now. Somewhere in an amalgamation of their teachings lies a moderate path forward. A way that embraces emotion and personal ambition and tempers it with reason and altruism. It's some yet-to-be-formulated creed that acknowledges the role of power and yet gives it a purpose more than the self. The servant leadership approach of the Jedi failed and the despotic endgame of the Sith has real limitations. But Vader sees a wide middle ground between those traditions. There has always been room for reform and compromise. But the two warring factions in the Force were too entrenched in their positions to see it. Too convinced of the righteousness of their own dogma. And too quick to resort to swords to prove themselves right.
If Vader ever finds his son, he's going to tell Luke to Hell with all that. Fuck it all. Every last damn rule and prohibition. It's time to let the past die, and that includes the Jedi and the Sith religions. It's time to clean the slate and move forward. There is no need to fear the Dark Side any more than you need to fear the Light. The Force is the Force, and all aspects of the great mystery matter and have their place. True power comes from wielding both the Light and the Dark, and in the wisdom of knowing when to use which side. Balance is the goal and the key. And for that, his son must unlearn whatever Kenobi has taught him.
But . . . will the kid listen? If so, Vader will teach his boy the bitter truths he has learned the hard way. He will pass on what he has learned, with all of his iconoclasm. And then Luke Skywalker can take up the mantle of the Chosen One and lift the burden from his broken and beleaguered father. Maybe the son will succeed where the father has failed, Vader muses. And maybe one day, Sheev's reign of terror will end and a new day will dawn. Led by this young, handsome Rebel prince from Tatooine, not the old, disfigured Imperial predecessor version. This boy could be a new hope for everyone. That's why Vader needs to find him and keep him safe. And then maybe together they can find his missing sister. For who knows? Maybe there is a happily-ever-after for the Skywalkers. Padme should be here, of course, but she won't be. But maybe there's still hope for Astral to complete their little family.
And that fantasy scenario prompts Vader to switch to yet another Intel datafile. This one is from the operative who trails Astral on Coruscant. The surveillance is mostly for her protection, of course. But it's also for his benefit. Because while Vader longs for a relationship with Luke Skywalker, he also longs for a future with Astral Sidhu. For when it comes to the hierarchy of Darth Vader's current obsessions, she's a very close second.
For all her fears about starting over, Astral seems to be thriving. She immediately landed a new job at a fancy auction house. She's now an Assistant for Special Projects, whatever that means. It sounds like one of those nebulous positions that you create just to give someone a job. From what Vader can tell, Astral mostly takes meetings with rich people to talk about art. But she seems to love it.
She loves Coruscant as well. On weekend days, Astral wanders the city for hours on foot. She sightsees. She window shops. She explores. On weekend nights, she likes to attend concerts and recitals. He remembers Astral had said that her mother was a musician. That must explain her love of classical music and opera.
Other than those outings, Astral is a homebody. She spends her nights watching newsfeeds and drama series on the holonet and surfs on her datapad. It's the datapad Vanee gave her, so it's bugged. Vader sees all of its content. Some of it is art, some of it is fashion, some of it is the online Alderaan survivor support network she joined, but most of it is him. Each morning, Astral searches his name to read the morning's news articles. Clearly, he's still very much on her mind. It helps him to conclude that Astral didn't really reject him so much as she rejected the life he offered. And that takes most of the sting out of their separation. He can't be angry with Astral as a result. Instead, he's disappointed. Like she is, he suspects.
Astral looks good, he thinks as he flips through surveillance photographs of her striding down the street. He's never seen Astral wear anything other than those two severe dresses. Now, she wears new severe dresses, but she also wears casual clothes sometimes. After two months, she cuts her hair. Two weeks later, Astral cuts even more off. The new hairstyle is a bit severe in its own way. But the haircut and the new clothes somehow combine to make her look younger. She has a certain grave glamour now. Suddenly, her look is less slightly nerdy, uptight museum scholar and more sleek and chic urbane sophisticate. Honestly, the change is threatening. There's no sign of any new boyfriend yet, but it's only a matter of time, Vader fears.
He flips through to linger on his favorite photograph. Astral is pictured ordering caf from a droid at the coffee stand she frequents. Her copper hair glints in the morning sunlight and there is a smile on her face and in her eyes. Astral is so beautiful when she smiles. Vader misses that smile. How he longs to see that kind smile again. But while she routinely asks Vanee about him, Astral has not made any attempt to contact him. That's very telling. Their brief romance culminated in one night of lackluster passion. Now, it's over and she's moving on.
He's trying to move on himself, but . . . well . . . he's attached. This is what he does: he falls hard and he falls fast. And now, he's stuck in unrequited love again. But at least this time, it's not with a dead woman.
Unfortunately, circumstances have conspired to drive him and Astral apart. And really, what woman wants to live in fear of her lover's assassins? But her justifiable fear is only half the explanation for her refusal, Vader knows. The truth is he also blew it. He thinks of a thousand different ways he could have handled that last night at the castle. From better bedroom maneuvers to ways he could have reassured Astral about her safety. But it's too late for that. She's gone and apparently thriving without him. And maybe that should make him angry, but it doesn't. Astral still grieves her world and the life she lost, but she's off to a good start on Coruscant. It makes him glad. He's jealous of her happiness, but he will not begrudge her success and wellbeing. He just wishes he could match her growing contentment for himself.
And that brings him back full circle to staring at the datafile on his prodigal son once again. This Luke Skywalker news has really thrown him for a loop. And the more Vader broods on it, the worse it gets. His sense of dread for the situation cannot be overstated. Neither can his guilt. It makes Vader miss Astral as confidante. More than anything, he really needs someone to confide in now. This deadly secret is killing him on the inside.
Where is Astral when he needs her? How the Hell did he let that woman get away? He would give six fleets of star destroyers now just to feel her soft body beneath him again, to bury his face in her fragrant hair. To revel in her willingness to accept him and to open her legs to receive him. For Astral had been such a potent seductress with her dual offers of sex and understanding. She is the comfort he craves, the confessor he desperately needs, and the cheerleader he has long been without.
So . . . should he contact her? No, he decides, what's the use? She'll only turn him down again. She lives for art and his vocation is mostly war. Their lives are incompatible even without the risks. Plus, he's lightyears away from Coruscant. He's not scheduled to be back there until Empire Day at the earliest. So, aiming to appear diligent for the cameras and his Master, Vader continues to waste time in the Rim. He's bored and frustrated as he launches probe droids and chases down minor leads on the elusive Rebels. At this rate, Vader grumbles, Luke Skywalker will be an old man before he finds him.
The latest lead turns out to be a dud, like all the rest. After they were routed from the Yavin system, the Rebels dispersed very effectively. If they have regrouped at some rendezvous point somewhere, the Empire can't seem to find it. Surely, they will establish a new hidden base someplace, if they haven't already. But there are so many sparsely populated systems and so many uncharted settlements. If the Rebels decide to hide rather than mount another attack, they could persist years undetected.
That could be a good solution, all in all. The Empire can claim victory for preventing further terror attacks. The civil war Vader fears could be averted. The galaxy could resume its pre-Alderaan status quo. But then, Luke Skywalker may never be found. And so, far from wanting the Rebellion to fade away, Vader wants to stoke it and goad it into revealing itself and thereby revealing his boy. He's utterly obsessed with finding his boy.
So when Captain Groat contacts him to request an audience, Vader immediately summons the deep state operative to his flagship. He's greedy for any new scrap of information about Luke Skywalker. What he has now is limited. Clearly, the locals hadn't wanted to volunteer information, but they felt compelled to cooperate after what happened to Owen and Beru Lars. Their solution appears to have been to say the bare minimum. But several months have passed now, so Vader recently sent Groat back to Tatooine to throw some credits around. This time, Vader gave strict orders to make sure that the guys asking questions aren't wearing Imperial uniforms. This latest round of information gathering is under the pretext of finding missing Luke to save him, rather than arrest him like many neighbors had probably feared.
As usual, Vader meets with Captain Groat in private. "What do you have on the pilot?" Vader demands the instant they are alone. He's been waiting anxiously in anticipation of this interview, so he's even less concerned with pleasantries than usual.
"Nothing new, my Lord."
"Nothing on the bounty?"
"No, my Lord. Fett and the others are as empty handed as we are."
Deeply disappointed, Vader growls, "Then why are you here?" This guy's wasting his time. And worse, he's dashing his hopes.
Groat shifts his weight uncomfortably as he begins, "There is another matter . . . something you should know. You may already know . . ."
Impatient, Vader commands, "Spit it out, Captain."
Again, Groat prevaricates with more needless preamble. "My Lord, you were known to oppose the Death Star . . . "
"Yes," he interrupts testily. "I'm glad that technological terror is no more. The Emperor knows it, too."
"Sir," Groat half-whispers as though he might be overheard even though they are alone. "Sir, he's building another."
Well, fuck. This is news. Bad news. But Vader doesn't let on. He learned long ago to cultivate a sense of mysterious omnipotence. It has fooled more than one nervous officer into disclosing secrets the subordinate wrongly assumes the boss already knows. So Vader now gripes with maximum sarcasm, "The first one was such a success . . . "
"He's worried for the Rebellion."
"That thing is no good against the Rebels beyond blowing up a base or two. You can't use a Death Star effectively in guerrilla warfare with political insurgents."
"He plans to."
"The Rebels already blew up one. What's to stop them from doing it again?" Vader argues.
Groat doesn't reply. Instead, he offers up a datafile. "My Lord, I have the complete post mortem on the original weapon here. Have you seen it? It came out when you were still at the castle. It was sabotage," the Captain says with breathless dramatic effect. "The chief engineer built a fuse in the middle of the Death Star and told the Rebels how to light it. Neither Krennic nor the others on the project were aware of it. But now, the Emperor has found a new scientist who thinks he can solve the problem. My Lord, the Emperor's throwing resources at the project. And given your opposition to the last one, everyone is under strict orders to keep you in the dark."
Vader seethes inwardly at this move by Sheev. But it all rings true. During his two month off-the-grid recuperation at Mustafar, starting a new covert Death Star project would be all too easy. It's just one more reason for Vader to hate his infirmities that take him out of the action far too often. But whatever. He knows now.
"Yes, I am aware," Vader outright lies. "And I am still officially very much in the dark notwithstanding this conversation." He accepts the datafile but waves a gloved hand away breezily. "Keep me informed, but it's not a pressing issue. It took over twenty years to design and build the first one."
Groat sets him straight. "This new one has a two-year completion date."
What? "Two years?" Did he hear that right?
The Captain nods. "The redesign is supposedly very simple. The construction phase begins in two months."
Two months? Vader pauses, feeling flummoxed. There are so many things wrong with this course of action. For starters, how is Sheev going to explain his latest monstrosity when he has consistently denied ownership of its predecessor? And what possible good can come out of repeating the same mistake twice? Sheev is playing right into the enemy's hands again, proving the Rebels right. Plus, if the Force wasn't tempted enough to depose Sheev for last time, surely it will for the second offense? How many star systems must suffer the fate of Alderaan before the Force finally does something about it?
Groat looks nervous as he speaks up. "Sir, I'm hoping that I am speaking to someone who understands when I say that my mother and my sister lived on Alderaan. They were loyal citizens. They did not deserve their fate."
Vader nods. "Agreed."
"If the Emperor gets his hands on another one, more loyal citizen noncombatants will die."
"Agreed."
"A second Death Star is a mistake. My Lord, no one in the command structure wants this. But everyone is afraid to say so except you."
"Agreed." Maybe some would think that a Sith Lord like himself is supposed to have a constant raging hard-on for death and destruction. But that's like pretending the Jedi only used the Force for defense. The Sith are no more nihilists than the Jedi were peacekeepers. Neither religion wins on coherence or consistency.
"Then, can you stop it?" Captain Groat outright pleads.
Vader doesn't answer. He simply orders, "Bring me anything else you have on the project."
"My Lord—"
"We will create some supply problems, Captain."
"But that will only delay things—"
"For now," Vader interrupts. "But enough work stoppages, cost overruns, and supply interruptions could doom the weapon. The Emperor could lose focus and move on to another better solution."
"But my Lord, he's obsessed . . . or so I hear . . . "
Yes, Vader completely understands. Passions, compulsions, manias, preoccupations . . . they are all the telltale hallmarks of the Dark Side. His current personal infatuations are Luke Skywalker and Astral Sidhu. His Master's are apparently immortality and Death Stars. It's typical of each of them: he's concerned with people and Sheev's all about power.
Poor Groat looks as miserable as he does earnest. "My Lord, can't you stop it?" he whines. "You must stop it."
"Leave that to me," Vader answers. Suddenly, he is very glad he didn't kill Groat along with the others he killed over that failed interrogation on Centares. Because while today's meeting didn't get him any closer to finding his son, it has yielded important information nonetheless.
His first strategy will be to slow this second Death Star to a halt. That will buy him time to find the elusive Rebels. Then, if Sheev doesn't lose interest fast enough, Vader will leak the news of the weapon to the enemy. He'll bait the Rebels to destroy Death Star II for him. But Groat doesn't need to know that now. So Vader dismisses the man and returns to the Executor bridge to consider this new development.
Truthfully, he feels nagging guilt over Alderaan. For Astral, for Groat's family, and for all the other innocents who were slaughtered. Darth Vader is a man long accustomed to war. He understands its randomness, its unfairness, its acceptable losses, and its collateral damage. And he's a Sith, so he's prepared to do what must be done-even the unsavory bits-to achieve his goals. But even a Sith Lord has limits. Vader is not a moral man in the conventional sense, but that does not mean he has no scruples. All those deaths on Alderaan ultimately had no purpose. In hindsight, it was senseless violence. And that's more stupid than it is Sith.
For if the Sith are anything, they are purposeful. The Dark Side is not a license for depravity or insanity. It's no excuse for poor judgement and hubris. At its core, Darkness is the embrace of emotion. All to unite reason with feeling and the Force. This is what the cold Jedi got wrong. Their culture of denial never achieved the detached selflessness they esteemed. Yoda, Obi-Wan, Windu and the rest were as ruled by emotion as anyone else, only they chose to ignore it. Just like they chose to ignore their own partisanship and will to power.
There is nothing inherently wrong with emotion. Yes, the Dark Side is strongest with negative emotions—fear and hate in particular bring a rush of power. But softer, gentler emotions have their place too. Especially the love born of attachment that the Jedi forbid. To deny the power of love was the Jedi's greatest mistake. In the end, it was mostly a fallacy anyway. For love had a way of sneaking into the mentor relationships between Masters and Padawans. He himself loved Ahsoka like a little sister. And Obi-Wan had admitted to loving him like a brother. But the Jedi drew the line at harnessing the power of love through the Force.
And that was foolish. If the Force is the mystical energy field that binds the universe together, shouldn't it thrive on connections between living beings? Even the Jedi recognized Force bonds could occur between Force users who were unusually close. Those bonds would typically augment and bridge both party's powers. Bringing them dangerously close to the emotion of the Dark Side, according to the dogmatic Jedi Council. And now, who was being ruled by fear? The Dark Side paranoid Jedi were far more fearful than they ever admitted. It's just one more aspect of their rampant hypocrisy, Vader thinks glumly.
Fear is also the root of this second Death Star folly, Vader recognizes. All who gain power fear to lose it, and Sheev Palpatine is no exception. But Vader can't outright oppose his Master. So he will settle for impeding him in important ways. If that doesn't work, then maybe young Luke Skywalker can hop in an X-wing and repeat his daring feat. Yes . . . the idea crystalizes in Vader's mind. This will begin to make things right, for here is the plan he needs. He will use this new Death Star information to earn his boy's trust. To convince him that his father is not the monster who Obi-Wan has no doubt portrayed him to be. To show him that Darth Vader wants a just and fair Empire, unlike his tyrant Master. There are two sides to every story. Hopefully, his son will listen to his.
The more he thinks about it, the more Vader warms to the idea. But first, he has to find Luke Skywalker. Where is Luke Skywalker? Six months after Yavin, Vader still has no idea.