We open to a Jewish funeral for Gerald Broflovski.
Everyone was there.
Saul, The Marshes and Gerald's family.
Rabbi: And now a word from Saul Goodman.
Saul took stage.
Saul: Gerald and I started out rough, but during my time in South Park our rivalry ended and Gerald was somebody I wouldn't class as a partner, but my friend. My best friend. I know that last part sounded a bit cheesy, but he really was. He was a damn fine lawyer and a lawyer I would defend till the end. Um, thank you and amen, I mean shalom. Sorry. Shalom.
Randy was at the funeral, glaring at Saul.
Intro
Starring
Randy Marsh
Bryan Cranston
Towelie
Aaron Paul
Giancarlo Esposito
Sharon Marsh
Bob Odenkirk
Jonathan Banks
Wendy Testaburger
Stan Marsh
Shelly Marsh
Title card shows up.
Breaking Tegridy.
South Park elementary.
Stan was by his locker trying to put stuff in his bag, because of his crutches.
Suddenly he heard a voice.
Voice: Hello Stan.
Stan turned around and saw Randy.
Stan: What do you want Dad?
Randy notices Stan's crutches.
Randy: Did they do this?
Stan: No, it was Corey Taylor.
Randy: Wow! What a dick.
Stan: I was being sarcastic!
Randy: How was I supposed to know?
Stan: PC Principal doesn't want you here, how did you get past him?
Randy: Distraction.
Meanwhile.
PC Principal: I still don't know why you're here. You said you had something you'd like to tell me but you're just smoking marijuana.
Towelie: I'm trying to remember what I was planning to tell you. I get high so I can remember.
Back with the drama.
Randy: I wanted us to talk.
Stan: There's nothing to talk about. Look at me Dad, this is your fault. I'm a handicapped person now.
Jimmy: W-w-what's wrong with that?
Stan: No offence Jimmy don't worry.
Randy: Stan, I was gonna ask after the trial, specifically the divorce trial, will you and your sister live with me at the farm?
Stan stares at Randy.
Stan: You think I'm that stupid Dad. I'm never gonna live at that god forsaken farm.
Randy: Why Stan?
Stan: Are you blind?! My legs are not working! That was caused by your stupidity! If you didn't kill that Tuco fella than I wouldn't be in this mess! You ruined mine and Shelly's life! You made us live far away from where I was born, treated me like trash, made us work on your farm and was never there for me! You're a monster Dad, get the fuck out of my life!
Stan tried to attack Randy, but because of his crutches he only moved a foot.
Stan fell to the floor.
Wendy approached Stan and pulled him back up.
Wendy: You ok Stan?
Stan: Let me attack Randy.
Randy was shocked to hear that Stan didn't refer to him as "Dad".
Randy: Fuck you Stan.
Wendy: I'll handle him Stan.
Wendy pulls her phone of her pocket and starts typing into it.
Randy checked his phone after hearing a notification bell.
Voice: Phone Destroyer!
Randy gets electrocuted and knocked out.
Stan: Thanks Wendy.
Wendy kisses Stan's cheek.
Wendy: Just be a little more careful with them.
Stan: Ok.
Mr Mackey: Everything alright?
Stan: Yes Mr Mackey. My Dad just needs escorting out.
Later.
Broflovski and Goodman's.
Saul was looking at his paperwork and packing it in his briefcase.
Saul looked to his right and looked at Gerald's seat.
Saul had sadness in his eyes.
Saul: So long buddy.
Saul smiled.
Suddenly Randy burst into the office.
Saul: Hey Randy, how are you-
Suddenly Randy punched Saul.
Saul: What was that for?
Randy started to punch Saul repeatedly.
Randy: You (Punch) Killed (Punch) Gerald (Punch).
Saul: I would never kill Gerald, what are you talking about?
Randy: Liar! You do! Because you knew you weren't gonna win so you killed him.
Saul: I'd never kill my best friend. Even if I win at this trial, you'll have to pay because Gus is suing you after all.
Randy punches Saul again.
Saul: But you have a lot of money! Did you forget?!
Randy: Of course, I have a lot of money. How much does he want?
Saul: One million dollars.
Randy: Thanks.
Randy punches Saul again.
Randy: That doesn't excuse the fact you killed Gerald.
Randy left the office.
Saul: I didn't do it.
Later.
Tegridy Farms.
Randy and Towelie entered the house.
Randy ran to the vault.
Randy opened the door to the vault.
Towelie: Looks intact.
Randy: Lets start counting.
Towelie: You count, I'll get high.
Towelie lights a joint and starts to smoke it.
Randy: Lazy towel.
Towelie: You're a towel.
Randy: Ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five, thirty, forty.
French narrator: Four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and twenty dollars later.
Randy: Four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and eighty, four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety, four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety five, five hundred thousand. Five hundred thousand? That isn't right.
Towelie: What?
Randy: There's 500,000 dollars. I had one million dollars, I swear I did.
Towelie: Well maybe someone stole it.
Randy: Impossible, me, you and Sharon were the only ones who knew the combination. You couldn't have stolen it because you were with me the entire time. Unless...
Randy suddenly came to a realisation.
Randy: That cunt!
Towelie: I'm gonna search around for any loose change. If I'm lucky, I might find enough so you could pay Gus back.
Jimbo's residence.
Randy was banging on the door.
Randy: Sharon! Open up!
Jimbo answers the door,
Jimbo: Hi Ran-
Randy knocks out Jimbo by punching him.
Randy enters the house.
Randy: Sharon! Sharon!
Sharon was in the kitchen preparing a meal and she stares at the knife that was in her hand.
Sharon goes to Randy.
Sharon: What do you want Randy?
Randy: My money! You took it!
Sharon: I took the money for a reason!
Randy: What was the reason?
Sharon: A good cause. Something that will benefit my family.
Randy: They're my family too!
Sharon: Not anymore!
Stan and Shelly show up to see what the commotion was about.
Stan: What's going on?
Sharon: Kids, go back to your temporary rooms.
Randy: Where is the money?! I might need it if I lose to Gus at the trial.
Sharon: "You might need it". That's what you said. But I need this money for something important Randy.
Randy: Oh, I know. Shopping, jewellery and your favourite, groceries!
Sharon: I took the money for Stan!
Stan: What?
Sharon: It's enough money for Stan to have the operation to walk again.
Stan: Really?
Shelly: Oh my God. That's wonderful!
Randy: Oh who cares about some operation?! I would've given that money to Stan any time I want.
Sharon: You wouldn't Randy. You're arrogant! And you're selfish! And you would've spent it on advertising.
Randy: Sharon, I need that money!
Sharon: Get out Randy!
Randy: Sharon I-
Sharon: Get out!
Sharon pulls the knife out of her pocket and swings it across Randy's face and it places a small cut on his cheek.
Randy places his hand on his cheek and realised it was bleeding.
Sharon was about to stab Randy, but Randy grabbed her wrist to try and stop her.
They scuffle a bit until they both fall to the floor whilst scuffling.
Stan was tearing up.
Stan: Mom, Dad stop it!
Randy now had the knife in his hand and was on top of Sharon.
Randy was about to stab Sharon, but Shelly tackled Randy.
Shelly than got hold of the knife that Randy had in his hand.
Randy got up.
Randy: What the hell Shelly?!
Sharon got up and started doing heavy breathing.
Stan pulled his phone out of his pocket.
Stan: I'm gonna call the cops! Unless you fucking leave Dad! I never want to hear from you or see you!
Randy continued staring at what he used to call "family" for a few more seconds before exiting the house.
After Randy left the house, Shelly started crying and Sharon hugged her.
Stan later joined in on the hug.
Jimbo woke up.
Jimbo (Feeling dizzy): What did I miss?
The next day.
The courthouse.
The courtroom.
Randy was at the front with no lawyer to back him up whilst Gus had Saul to back him up.
Randy glared at Saul.
Randy flipped Saul off.
Saul (Mouthing): I didn't do it.
Randy (Mouthing): Yes you did.
Saul (Mouthing): Screw you.
In the audience.
Jesse, Walt and Badger were in the audience.
Jesse: Yeah. Let's hope third time's the charm.
Walter: Randy will win, despite the fact his lawyer was murdered.
Badger: I'm telling you guys, Saul did it.
Jesse: Nah, it can't be Saul I mean that guy wouldn't hurt a fly.
Suddenly there was a bang.
Everyone had their eyes on Saul.
Saul: Sorry, there was a fly on the desk.
Walter: Like I said, Randy will win it is totally obvious.
Jesse: But Gus has Saul, Mr Marsh will totally lose.
Badger: And I got champagne just in case.
Walter: You bought champagne into a courthouse?
Badger: Yeah and I've been practicing removing the cork the same way everybody does it in the movies.
Badger removes the cork by shooting it off the bottle, but the cork inadvertently hits Mike in the head; who was also in the audience.
Badger: Yeah I forgot to practice my aim.
Mike gets out of his seat to track down where the cork came from.
Badger hands the bottle to Walt.
Badger: He did it. Not me.
Mike: I'll deal with you later Badger.
The judge takes centre stage.
Judge: All Rise.
Everyone rises.
Judge: Good morning. Ladies and gentlemen we are here today to determine the verdict of Randy Marsh who has been accused of poisoning the customers of Los Pollos Hermanos by giving them very bad bowel movements thanks to his product of weed he calls The Los Pollos Hermanos.
The camera pans to the jury and there were, Mr Mackey, Thomas and Laura Tucker (Craig's parents), Deborah Testaburger, Mr Adler, Officer BarBrady, Big Gay Al, Mr Slave, Skeeter, Darryl, Dr Mephesto and Stuart McCormick.
Deborah waves to Mike and Mike waves back.
Judge: Let us begin with our opening defence Mr Marsh you-I'm sorry does anyone hear a beeping?
Gus: Yes I do.
Saul pulled a beeper from his pocket.
Saul: It's not my beeper.
Randy: I had nothing to do with this, don't look at me.
Judge: Where is this beeping-
Suddenly there was a blast.
And the screen cuts to black.