April 8, 2009

I should have known it was coming. I couldn't keep it from Kyo forever. Yuki tried to tell Kyo that day I was sick and they saw my scars.

I felt the…what should I call it…panic attack? Episode? Well, anyway, I felt it coming on.

"Kyo," I said softly to him on our way home. "I need you to do something for me."

"What?" he was a little irritated at me since I had been irritable all day.

"Go inside, tell Shigure that I said 'There is a storm coming,'" I replied. "And then I want you to go to the dojo. I'll meet you there."

"I-I don't understand, Lia," Kyo said. "Tell me what's going on."

"Don't worry," I smiled. "I'll be okay."

Kyo went into the kitchen while Lia went to his room and locked herself in.

"Shigure," he said reluctantly. "Lia said to tell you…'There's a storm coming.'"

"Oh…oh no," Shigure said. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a set of keys. He locked several cabinets. "Get out of the house. I was wondering when this would happen."

"No," Yuki said. "Don't you dare leave, Cat."

"What are you talking about?" Kyo asked.

"Lia has episodes…like when Haru goes black," replied Shigure.

"So why aren't you staying?" Kyo said, looking at Yuki. "You know her better, obviously."

"Haru was always with me when we comforted her," replied Yuki. "He's the one who knew what to say. And besides. She doesn't want me. She wants you."

"What should I do?" Tohru asked.

"Come with us," said Shigure, and they left.

Kyo went upstairs and knocked on his own bedroom door.

"Lia, can I come in?" asked Kyo.

"I…don't want you coming in," Lia said in a thin voice. "I-I'm scared."

"You're scared of me?" Kyo asked.

"No," she replied. "I'm scared of…myself. I don't want to hurt you. But when I'm like this…I'm unpredictable."

She opened the door. Her hair was disheveled, there were rings around her eyes, and she had a razor blade in her left hand.

Kyo gasped. "Come on Lia, put it down!"

"Those scars…some of them were self inflicted, Kyo," Lia said.

"You…hurt yourself?" Kyo asked, shocked. "Why?"

"Because…" She sat in the corner, and curled into a ball, hugging her knees. "I…am not needed. Not needed…I…should just die…"

She started to cry. Her shoulders were shaking and she took big gulping breaths. Kyo looked at her. He couldn't watch this. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"Lia," Kyo said, pulling the razor blade from her hands. "I need you. Lia, you can't hurt yourself. Akito does enough to you…please stop this."

I stared at him. Why was he here, holding me? I loved him. I needed him. And now he was saying that he needed me?

"Kyo..." I whispered. "I…"

I couldn't tell him I loved him. He would reject me, it was his nature. But I wanted to be more than just friends. I didn't know if I could be just friends with him any longer.

I kissed him on the cheek and then got up and got in the bed. He looked at me oddly.

"You okay now?" He asked me.

"I'll be fine," I said softly. "It's all over."