Hello again fellow Star vs the Forces of Evil lovers! Thanks again for tuning in. This chapter is going to be a bit different-it's the Ponyhead Show-starring: Ponyhead! It is going to run like a television script (except you know The Ponyhead Show isn't scripted-could you imagine if she did write a script? Internal shivers.) Please let me know what you think! Thank you again for reading, commenting, favoriting, and following. I don't own Star vs the Forces of Evil.
15: Oh Snap!
(Lights brighten a stage, upbeat pop music plays from a robot DJ in the background, Ponyhead rushes forward to the spotlight.)
Ponyhead: What up, party peoples?! It's ya horse, Ponyhead! Welcome to my show, The Ponyhead Show. Starring-me, Ponyhead. Who else would it be? (Pauses for applause.)
Ponyhead: Umm, where's my live audience? SEA HORSE! GO GET ME AN AUDIENCE!
Sea Horse: Right away, my darling! I'll go get right on that! (Sprints out of the studio.)
Ponyhead: So I have a great show for you today-just like everything I do is great. First we have my girl Star Butterfly and Earth Turd Marco Diaz with the latest boring news stuff. Then we have Prince of the Underworld Tom Lucitor with What Looks Good On Me Fashion, Janna Ordonia with Oh No She Didn't, and two people who I don't know with Oh Snap!, the latest gossip on the street, and of course, Talking with Ponyhead with Brittany Wong. Let's get started! (Whips around to camera three, snorts out steam.) SEA HORSE! Where did you go? Get my good side!
Marco: Uhh, Pony, you said that this was a dress rehearsal! (Hiding behind Star, peeking out from over her shoulder. Star rolls her eyes at Marco.) I didn't dress appropriately. I'm in my sweatpants! (Camera pans out to show Star, Marco, and Pony all on stage.)
Ponyhead: Well sorry that you thought this was a dress rehearsal, Marco, but you are supposed to dress up like there was no rehearsal because there wasn't one.
Marco: Ughhhhhh
Star: (Shoving Marco out from behind her and straightening her shoulders.) Marco, I told you to dress up! Besides, why would you wear a dress for a rehearsal?
Marco: Star, that is not what that means.
Ponyhead: Oh hey, everyone, let's tune into Earth Turd and Star to see what the latest in the world is or whatever. (Camera zooms in Marco's face growing red and Star tossing her hair.)
Star: Hello! Well to The News! Soooo, me and Marco may have made a bit of a mess when our dimensions became Earthni but things are sort of looking better! Marco?
Marco: (Coughs into hand and rubs back of head, crossing legs awkwardly to hide sweatpants.) Uhh, right Star. After the Merge a few months ago, people from Earth and Mewni have been having to learn to live together. There is still tension between Mewmans and Monsters but the humans seem to be adapting rather well to their new neighbors. There has already been a restructuring of the voting system to include Monster and Mewman vote and-"
Ponyhead: BORING! (Tosses her mane as camera pans out to show all three on stage.) Super boring. Just-wow. Latest news flash-Marco and Star are super boring. (Star crosses her arms and narrows her eyes while Marco rolls his eyes. Pony pauses.) Sorry Star, you are never boring.
Marco: And what about me? (Throws hands into air.)
Ponyhead: Marco, you are always boring. Sorry, the truth hurts. (Pony ignores Marco's outcry. Camera pans in on her face as she winks.) Next up, we have Tom Lucitor with the latest fashion trends. But first, check out this new move I made. (Turns away from camera, before turning head back to camera and shimmies neck up and down to the beat being laid down by the robot DJ.) Oh check me out!
Tom: Uhh, Ponyhead? Isn't it time for my segment. (Voice from off screen.)
Ponyhead: (Sighs and whips around to face Tom.) Whatever, way to be a camera hog, Tom! Here is Lucitor with the latest fashion or whatever.
Tom: (Camera pans to Tom, who is straightening his tie and looking at Pony with three dubious eyebrows raised. Noticing the camera is on him, he whips his hands on his jacket as if they are sweaty and turns on a big, uncomfortable smile.) Oh, hey! Yeah-I'm Tom. Tom Lucitor. Prince of the Underworld. You may have heard of me. And I'm here today to tell you about the latest fashion trends of Earthni. (Begins to walk awkwardly toward the green screen behind him, obviously uncomfortable.) Hehe-so-Peasant Chic. The latest fashion is peasant chic. The humans have taken to Mewman fashion, adopting lacy and tattered clothes into their daily wardrobe. Monsters have also taken to this style, wearing bonnets and hats whenever they can. So on the screen behind me is-"
(Stage goes black, cries from everyone in the studio sound out. Suddenly, the lights flash back on to reveal Ponyhead in a peasant dress, wearing a bonnet and hoop earrings.)
Ponyhead: MEEEE! Look at me-I'm so peasant chic. (Twirls around as dress almost falls off of her. It flows loosely around her body. Shakes her head and the earrings clink.) PRANCISS! Come show the world the boy fashion.
Pranciss: (Floats meekly out into the studio.) Ponyhead…I don't want to wear this. I look like a boy…
Ponyhead: And that is precisely why you are the one wearing it! Do you think anyone would believe my gorgeous self in those clothes? Just get over yourself! Why are you always look for attention? Huh? Huh? You are such an attention seeker. Just be a good sister and model the outfit. Gosh. (Flips mane, blows a kiss at the camera.) Thank you Tom for the latest fashion update. We want to make sure all our viewers look their best-like me! (Camera pans in to Ponyhead.) And now a word from our sponsors.
(Commercial break)
Narrator with deep, sad voice: Has your neighborhood been overrun by monsters? (Monsters running around humans in their house.) Does your house sit under a giant mysteriously destroyed castle? (Butterfly Castle in the mist as tourists make peace signs in front of a tiny house in front. The owner of the house huffs and crosses their arms.) Do your children play with mysterious objects from another dimension? (Shows baby playing with magical-looking knife as a rattle.) Vote for Janitor Gray for Mayor of Echo Creek-he will clean up this town and make it Earth again. (Shows janitor from Echo Creek Academy holding a broom staring into the distance, a small smile on his face.) Janitor Gray-it could be someone worse.
(Stage lights flash as on the screen states 'Return to your regular programing.')
Ponyhead: Welcome back to The Ponyhead Show! Starring me-Ponyhead!
Marco: (Runs onto stage.) Why is that your sponsor?
Ponyhead: Shut up Marco, you never say no when people are paying you! GOSH! (Marco rolls eyes and sits in his seat next to Star, who pats his hand.) Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, our next segment is Oh No She Didn't! With Janna Ordonia! (Camera swings over to Janna standing behind a podium, a smirk on her face. She adjusts her beanie.)
Janna: Hey, thanks Pony. Welcome to Oh No She Didn't! Today we have a 'special' prank, brought to you by yours truly. (Pulls out a remote and points it at the screen behind her. The screen lights up and a video of Marco working a concession stand at a movie theatre plays.) Today we have Marco Diaz on the screen. (Camera swings over to Marco, who is staring at the screen angrily, standing out of his seat. Star is next to him hiding a smile behind her hand.)
Marco: Janna! Get out of town! (Camera swings back to Janna.)
Janna: We see Mr. Diaz working at his afternoon job now that Christmas is over since this is all a GED can get you. (Marco's voice calls out that he is applying to college and saving money and there is nothing wrong with working at a movie theatre. Janna ignores him.) Let's take a look and find out what happens, shall we? (Screen turns to Marco going into the back to grab supplies as Janna sneaks into the theatre, rolls over the counter and detaches the hose for the oil. Marco is heard whistling in the back, so Janna rolls back over the counter and out of sight. Marco comes back in, puts popcorn seeds into the popper and pushes the oil button. At first nothing happens, then all of a sudden all the seeds begin to shoot out and hit Marco over and over repeatedly. Marco shrieks and pulls out popcorn backs to shield himself. The screen goes blank as the camera pans back to Janna and widens to reveal Marco.)
Marco: THAT WAS YOU?! I HAD POPCORN STUCK IN MY EAR AND HAD TO GET IT REMOVED BY THE DOCTOR! (Marco was breathing hard, eyes crazed and angry. Star bit her lip to keep from laughing but gently pulls Marco back into his seat and pats his back.)
Janna: (With a shrug.) It wasn't my best. As for our next prank, I will teach you how to pull off a successful identity theft by-
Tom: (Tom rushes onto the stage, shoving a large peasant hat over Janna's head. She struggles to get it off.) Okay! That's all for this segment! Thank you for watching! Take it away, Pony! (Camera swings over to show Ponyhead out of the peasant clothes but still wearing the earrings.)
Ponyhead: Thanks Tom. Next we have Oh Snap! With…uhhh, what are your names again? (Camera pans over to reveal Alfonso and Ferguson waving awkwardly.)
Alfonso: Alfonso and Ferguson! How many times do we have to tell you? (Turns toward Ferguson, who is wringing his hands nervously.) You ready, bro?
Ferguson: It's finally time for our big break-Alfonso and Ferguson-feature episode!
Alfonso: Our time to shine! (Both take a deep breath, when Ponyhead suddenly flies in front of them and cuts off their speech.)
Ponyhead: Ohh, sorry. We are running short on time. (Alfonso and Ferguson visibly deflate.) What? You're just backup for Jackie and Janna anyway! (Camera follows Pony as she floats over to a table next to a couch.) Now it's time for your favorite part of the show-Talking with Ponyhead! Our special guest today is Brittany Wong!
(Applause sign glows as Brittany walks into the studio with the robot DJ playing Barbie Girl. Brittany frowns and angrily sits down on the couch with her arms crossed.)
Ponyhead: Wow, welcome to the show Brittany. You obviously have a lot of attitude and personality-just like me. (Brittany rolls her eyes.) So Brittany, you are now head cheerleader at Echo Creek Academy as a junior. Evidently that means something on Earth. Tell us about it.
Brittany: Well, obviously, who else could do it? No one is as pretty or has as good hair as me!
Ponyhead: Yeah, your hair is bangin' girl! How do you do it?
Brittany: (Flips her hair over her shoulder and smirks.) Oh, this? First you have to be born with it like me, but if you want to be even somewhat as awesome as me, you have to brush it with a horse hair hairbrush to make it smooth.
Ponyhead: (Gasps and floats up into Brittany's face.) Whoa, what is with this hostility? I am a horse! Why does the head cheerleader need to have such an attitude with me? This is the Ponyhead Show-and I am Ponyhead! You don't see me floating up into your cheerleading practice and having attitude now do you? Wow, you are so full of it!
Brittany: (Rolls her eyes.) Whatever. Didn't think you would freak out about a stupid hairbrush. Sorry if the truth hurts.
Ponyhead: (Slowly floats back toward desk.) Fine. So what is your love-life like? Any cuties at Echo Creek?
Brittany: I'm dating the captain of the football team-he's a senior. We are just like a couple from the movies. We are so in love. I'm popular. He's popular. We will always be loved and adored by everyone at school. (Cough from background of Janna that sounds suspiciously like 'delusional.') Everyone is just so jealous of me.
Ponyhead: Girl, I don't know what movies you've been watching, but it a'int like anything I've ever seen before. (Brittany gasps angrily and flips her hair to the side, her frown deepening.) You think that is love? YO' MARCO! TAKE THE CAMERA! SEA HORSE-GET OUT HERE! (Sea Horse slowly comes up to Ponyhead, Brittany confused as her eyebrows go up.) Brittany, you don't know what you are talking about. Sea Horse-propose to me right now!
Sea Horse: What? Wah-really? Hmm-are you sure? We are so young-but if insist… (Camera pans to Marco and Tom groaning, shaking their heads as Janna and Star watch open mouthed in shock. Star hands clasp together and shakes her head. Camera pans back to Pony, Sea Horse, and Brittany.)
Ponyhead: (Snorts and huffs at him.) Of course-we gotta show this girl how we are so much better at love than her or whatever!
Sea Horse: Oh, well, if you insist. Will you marry me, Princess Ponyhead?
(Groans sound throughout the studio as Ponyhead tosses her mane and eyes Brittany with a smirk before turning back to Sea Horse.)
Ponyhead: YAAAAAASSSS! WE'RE GETTING MARRIEEEEEEEED! (Turns to Brittany, floats up into her face.) Try to top that!
Brittany: Whatever. I'm going to call Daddy. (Getting up, she stamps her foot, flips her hair, and storms off the stage.)
Sea Horse: WOW! We are getting married! I am so happy! We need to start planning! When do you want to get married, my sweet flying princess? (He begins to flap his fins and pushed his glasses up his nose. Slowly, Ponyhead turns to him and grimaces.)
Ponyhead: Oh sorry…I only did that so she would get off her high horse or whatever…I'm totally breaking off the engagement with you. You just need too much water. (Camera close-shot of Sea Horse's face, his face twitching. He frowns and sadly sprays himself with his water bottle.)
(Cameras swing out as Ponyhead flies in front of her banner. The robot DJ begins to play upbeat music as Star, Marco, Janna, Tom, Alfonso, and Ferguson all crowd around Sea Horse to comfort him as Ponyhead floats above them.)
Ponyhead: Thanks for coming to the Ponyhead Show, starring me-Ponyhead! Remember, you only wish you were as cool as me! Byeeeeee!
(Ponyhead begins to dance to the song and the studio fade into darkness.)
I hope you liked the episode-I mean story. I thought it would be fun to explore just how narcissistic Ponyhead really is-it is fun to write that. Poor Sea Horse, how does he put up with her? Despite being such a jerk, she is such a funny character to write. Also, I used to work at a movie theatre and the popcorn would sometimes shoot kernels at you if you forgot oil and burn really badly-so the prank was super over the top but oh well. Plus, love to sideline Alfonso and Ferguson like the show! Anyway, thank you again for reading! Until next time!
Starco4everr: Thank you so much for your continual encouragement-it really means a lot! I am so glad you liked the story! It is interesting to think about what all consequences Star would have to deal with after destroying magic.