CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - DIMITRI

Apparently, my continued docility wasn't something Robert wanted to take chances on. Once we left the lodge (and two very dazed guardians at the wards) behind, he was quick to reach into his pocket and grab a pair of handcuffs. He had me put them on myself.

I came to my senses hours later, blinking back a feeling of confusion and vertigo. We were in some sleazy looking motel room - equipped with stained yellow wallpaper, one crooked painting, and plaid bed-sheets - at a place called The Sabertooth Inn. It was only a few towns away from the lodge and what I assumed had been Robert's hideout for the past few days.

I could remember everything I'd done since the courtyard in vivid detail, which I thought was a little strange. Rose told me many times that he had the ability to warp memories. So why miss an opportunity to at least muddle my awareness? The only idea I could come up with was that he didn't care if I knew where I was. The question was, why? Then again, much of this encounter didn't really make sense. I'd been told Robert wanted me dead.

I sat with my hands cuffed behind my back in a questionable green chair that creaked every time I moved.

Robert leaned forward across from me with a creepy, almost manic expression on his face.

"Do you know why you're here?" he asked me.

I calculated the odds of fighting my way out of here. Leap forward and kick him down, run to the door, call for backup. His age and species would be in my favor, but since I didn't really know what to expect from him, I decided to play nice. For now.

"Enlighten me," I said.

"Karma. Rose's, but yours too. At first, I would've been happy to just kill her. But when the older one started meddling, I couldn't let that slide. Not after everything she's done to me. To us."

"So this is her punishment?" I asked carefully. "Taking me captive?"

I was aware that this man was unstable and I didn't want to set him off. At the same time, I had to try and gather as much information as I could. With luck, it could get me out of this.

He hummed. "In a manner of speaking. Her punishment is what is going to happen to you. She loves you. Your pain will bring her pain and she'll suffer just like I've suffered before I wipe her from existence."

I clenched my jaw. I didn't like the sound of that. It also left me feeling more confused still. I'd been under the impression that Robert was after all three of us, but now it sounded like his main target was Rose. Were Jillian and I just collateral?

"What do you have against her? Why do all this?"

He giggled. "She hasn't told you then? Of course she wouldn't. Saint Rose Hathaway, right hand to the Queen. Little do they know, her hands aren't so clean."

His taunting almost sounded like a nursery rhyme. A nonsensical one.

I glared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You're both murderers." He steepled the tips of his fingers, "But if you don't believe me, I'll show you. Many years ago, and not very long from now, you left me to rot, injured, alone, and half mad in the bushes by a motel parking lot. I doubt you realized it at the time, but I got a very illuminating look inside your head."

"You read my mind...in the future," I said.

It wasn't the strangest thing I'd heard recently, but it was what made me decide I'd had enough. I didn't think playing along with him would help me any longer. Any knowledge he offered about my future wouldn't come out of the kindness of his heart, and I had a feeling that the imminent future would involve torture. I decided to put my plan into action.

However, when I tried to kick forwards, I noticed a block. Something was freezing my limbs in place, stopping me from moving.

Robert watched me in amusement. Was this more spirit? My hopes plummeted.

"And what I saw proved to me what kind of man you truly are. Like I said, karma," he rambled. "The universe throws back what we take from it, Mr. Belikov. It's your turn to see that."

Somehow, I sensed what was coming before Robert fixed his eyes on mine. I tried to look away this time, but within seconds, I was lost.

I felt like I was pulled away from my body, hurtling into some dark, cold place. The air seemed to evaporate from my lungs.

I woke up somewhere new. Russia, my mind supplied. Novosibirsk. It was night, but the moonlight wrapped around the bustling city so brightly that it felt like day. I could only just barely make out the stars, yet I saw everything else in stark, vivid detail.

I strode down a narrow alleyway. At the end was the back entrance to a popular nightclub. Loud music emanated through the walls. I stood there, waiting patiently, my mind in a dreamlike haze. Finally, a young human woman with long dark hair exited the club. She had to be barely eighteen, but her makeup was provocative and she was very drunk. My mouth watered.

I was a passenger in my own body, unable to direct myself as I approached the girl.

"Hello miss," I said, catching her attention.

She smiled flirtatiously and stumbled towards me a little.

Before she could speak, I seized both of her shoulders and slammed her into a brick wall.

Her head made a thunking sound and she yelped. I was at her neck in an instant.

She chuckled nervously, trying to play it off. "Easy, boy. I like it rough, but I don't even know your n-"

I bit down. Blood pooled in my mouth, flowing from where my...fangs had inserted themselves.

Horror engulfed me. What was I doing? I tried to disengage myself from whatever this was. Break free, pull away, but my body had a mind of its own.

The girl screamed and tried to claw at my arms, but I caged her in place. Shifting even closer, I tore at her flesh with my teeth, allowing the red liquid to pour more freely down my throat. It was sweet and addictive, making me feel dual sensations of revulsion and pleasure as I literally sucked the life from this girl.

She begged me to stop. The part of me that wasn't overwhelmed with panic and the desperation to just do what she says and please make me stop, didn't understand how she could be in so much pain. If I had fangs, that meant there should have been a surge of endorphins, right? Why were there no endorphins?

The answer came to me as I felt my body moan. There were, but the way I kept pulling back and biting down again - making a gorey mess of her neck - prevented them from working effectively. It was intentional. For fun.

I had to end this. She was losing too much blood. Why couldn't I stop?

Her struggles faded and she fell to the ground, pale and lifeless. He eyes were still wide open in terror. Dead.

"These are your memories," came a faraway voice. Robert. "Taken from your future self."

No. No. It couldn't be. I would never…It had to be some trick. This was someone else. He was showing me someone else's memories. Some monster's.

I wanted to kneel by the girl's side and help her somehow. There had to be something I could do.

But I blinked and I was in a different place again. A new memory. I stood in front of a tall mirror. My reflection stared back at me, emotionless and wrong.

My features were correct. Hair still the same dark chin-length mess it became when I kept it loose. I still wore my duster. But my skin was now deathly pale and my eyes were foreign. Evil and malicious, an unmistakably sickening red ring encircled my pupils. I was Strigoi.

I wanted to throw up, but I was thrown into another memory.

This time, I was in some kind of lavish suite. I was spread out on a leather couch, half on top of someone. We were kissing passionately, the two of us fighting for domination. My hand slid up the back of her shirt as she grinded into me. Her skin felt hot to my touch and desire burned between us.

Then, her tongue brushed up lightly against one of my fangs and she froze. She jerked her head away from me and I was finally able to get a good look at her.

It was Rose.

She breathed heavily, fighting for control as guilt and fear overwhelmed her features.

"No," she murmured weakly, "No. we can't do this."

Once again, my mouth started moving without my permission. "Are you sure?" I asked, the inflection hard and cold. One of my hands was in her hair and I forcibly turn her head to face mind. I wanted to tell her to run, but there was nowhere for her to go.

"You didn't seem to mind," I said, "Everything can be just like it was before... like it was in the cabin... You certainly wanted it then..."

Whatever I was talking about felt important - something that would make her think, make her question her resolve. I didn't understand it, but anything meaningful to a Strigoi version of myself had to be wrong.

"No," she repeated. "I don't want that."

I pressed my lips against her cheek and worked a gentle trail of kisses down to her neck.

I tried to wrench back control, but it was useless. I was trapped in events that already happened. Would happen? Were fated to happen?

In that moment, I hated myself with every molecule. I didn't want to think about what this monster was planning to do to Rose, but I had to because it was happening right in front of me.

"What about this?" I asked, my voice a seductive whisper. "Do you want this?"
"Wh-"

I sunk my fangs into her neck, internally screaming. I couldn't kill her too. Not her.

In my terror, I tried to console myself with the facts. Future Rose was fine. She was okay and this Rose was young so that meant she would get away. It had to mean she would get away.

But logic seemed like a distant memory as foreign emotions and desires overwhelming me, mixing into my personal devastation.

Rose's body relaxed against mine as the endorphins made their way through her system. This time, they worked fine. I wasn't sure if that made this better or worse.

I pulled away, and for a split second I thought that I'd somehow successfully taken back control. The notion was crushed when I ran a hand over my mouth, unbidden.

"Why... what..." Rose slurred. "You said it would be my choice..."
"It still is," I said, breathing heavy. "I'm not doing this to awaken you, Roza. A bite like this won't turn you. This... well, this is just for fun..."
I cursed as I felt myself move back to drink from her again, and I was mercifully pulled away from the scene.

…into yet another memory. Vision after vision consumed me. I tore through the streets of Novosibirsk, leaving a trail of blood and bodies in my wake. I was forced to watch as every moral I had was left in tatters. All the while, the memory of Rose in my clutches continued to haunt me. It wasn't the only vision I had of her either. Past all of the misery and torment at the atrocities I would commit, in the end, the knowledge of what I would do to her was what broke me.